Everyone now knew that we were to be wed. Anthony took no notice of the fact, his mind only ever being set on Johanna. Johanna was much the same, not bothering with anything to do with Mrs Lovett. I had hoped that she would become distressed about it, now having recalled at least one memory of her mother- a memory that I never would have expected.

"'course, yeh're gonna want to 'old the ceremony as late as possible," Mrs Lovett told me in one of her flurried conversations. "I don't suppose Johanna'll be up for a wedding, would she? Anthony'll take care of 'er, of course. Shouldn't think 'e'd mind keeping an eye on my Toby, good enough lad. Both of them."

"It is not a matter of whether I wish Johanna to be there," I muttered. "It is a matter of the fact she wouldn't have a clue about what's going on."

"Well, all that aside, love, I think we're sorted out on all other matters." She clapped her hands, smiling. She placed a kiss on my cheek, to which I could not respond. I barely think she noticed, as soon enough, Mrs Lovett was chattering on again, not even pausing for breath.

I did not notice that the days drawing to those words 'I do' were becoming increasingly short.

To my surprise, on the slowly shortening visits I had with Johanna, she appeared to become more and more attentive to this fact. Not exactly that the wedding was nearing, but instead that somehow, I showed this without wishing it.

"You look like Mrs Lovett's been working you to the bone, Papa."

I chuckled lowly, watching her curious face. To my delight, Johanna seemed somehow to have regained some of that sanity I had seen in her so many months ago. Not that she had recovered, of course. Perhaps I was only hoping. I kept telling myself that I was. Simply because she could now speak without throwing something at a wall or perhaps even clawing at those she was talking to, did not mean that she was at all cured at this point.

For a moment, I reflected on Johanna's comment. It was strange to think that not only had my daughter become so attentive, but I had suddenly become so…readable. One of the gifts I had stolen from Australia was that of my secrecy. No man could see any delight in my face, nor any sadness. Now, though, a girl who could not be called in her right of mind could see my fatigue and irritation.

It was almost petrifying.

One of the only traits that I had left was diminishing. It should not have mattered to me. I no longer had to hide my rage, or hide any hint of murder in my eye. All of those ideas had long left my mind. So…why should it bother me to such lengths?

At last, it seemed that finally, my personal small day of judgement had come.

Mrs Lovett was adamant on the idea that this small ceremony was instead an extravagant celebration. I wonder still if she knew whether absolutely everyone was staring at her as she fussed. Toby, of course, did not let a single breath leave him that spoke out against her.

Anthony himself was quite perplexed about her behaviour. He knew the source of it, but could not quite fathom it. Johanna watched on as she fluttered about the hallways, giggling to herself.

That evening, time finally stood still. My few minutes left alone with my daughter was slow enough to satisfy me at last, yet I could not help but feel a sombre air in the room. Johanna fiddled with her hair in the manner she was accustomed to when somehow anxious, drawing a heavy sigh from my throat.

"You mustn't play with your hair like that," I said, pushing her hands gently away. "It isn't a needed habit."

"It isn't a habit!"

I shook my head, not even able to summon the idea of fighting back.

"Mrs Lovett seems awfully excited," Johanna said musingly.

"Far more than you think."

"Am I going to turn out like her?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"If she's going to be my mother, will I end up like her?" I laughed, patting her shoulder gently.

"No, no, of course not."

"How are you certain?"

"I simply am."

She bit her tongue, rocking slightly. Knowing we had such little time left, I began to try and coerce her into sleeping. Johanna refused, wishing to wait until Anthony returned to her. My patience began to wear, causing our speech to return to a short repetitiveness.

"You'll have to sleep at some point soon. Johanna, you've been tired for some time."

"No, I haven't. I don't need to sleep yet and I shall when I need to."

Thus the conversation went until Anthony at last knocked on the door, halting us. I wrinkled my nose, irritated, knowing finally my time was up.

"Mrs Lovett is ready for you, Mr Todd," he said quietly, then quickly smiling as he turned to face Johanna. I ignored this, and embraced my daughter one last time. She held me in return, almost forgetting I should think that I had to leave.

It did not take long before Mrs Lovett was waiting impatiently beside me. Her overly bright smile did not show it, though, as she firmly hooked her arm determinedly into mine. Toby hurriedly scurried off, whimpering almost.

The church was not very far away. The ceremony was short, and might I say awkward. The vicar in front of us seemed utterly nonchalant, and Mrs Lovett was as calm as could be, if not for her smile. When I was spoken to directly, I could not exactly speak, and instead brusquely nodded my head, instead of saying the words 'I do'.

In no time at all I had faced her, her lips puckered expectantly. At that moment my lips touched hers briefly, the deed was done.

We were married.

It was strange how quickly everything had gone by. In the time it had taken us to be married I doubt Anthony would have been able to force Johanna to sleep. My doubts were true enough, as when we arrived back at the house I could still hear a distant murmuring from her room. I was unable to bid her goodnight, though. Mrs Lovett- I could not bear to call her Mrs Todd- still held my arm firmly.

I sighed, utterly unresponsive. Mrs Lovett smiled coyly- or, at least, a feigned shyness- as she opened her bedroom door, pulling me in with her.

"Finally married," she whispered under her breath, more to herself than to me. She hooked an arm around my neck, pulling herself up to meet my lips. With her other hand, she took my arm and wrapped it around her waist.

"I dreamed of this, yeh know," she said, muttering into my ear. "At me Albert's and my wedding. I was dreaming of this moment instead."

"Is that so?" I asked in a melancholy tone.

"The only thing that got me those long honeymoon nights, Mr T," she said breathily, almost gasping. "Or short, should I say," she added, starting to laugh almost madly, desperately trying to gain a reaction from me.

"Really?"

"Yeh think I'm joking? Mr T, there's no joke. I've been dreaming of this moment…" Slowly, her hand grasped my neck tie, pulling it lightly. "For so long."

Somehow, in her haste, Mrs Lovett had pulled her own dress from her small frame and was now standing before me, still kissing me in earnest, in simply her white slip and stockings. I thought of Lucy, trying to rid myself of the knowledge of what I was doing. It did not seem to work. The thought that I was betraying my true wife was far too buried into my mind.

As Mrs Lovett worked at unbuttoning my shirt, the pain of the upcoming night started to wrack through my mind. I could not possibly do it. I had murdered and maimed in the name of she who I loved, and I could not betray her memory in such a way.

Quickly, I threw Mrs Lovett to the bed and pulled my shirt back onto my shoulders.

"I can't do it," I said roughly. Mrs Lovett looked up at me, plucking a lock of her hair.

"Yeh can't do what?"

"This! I just can't…it's not fair to," I finished lamely.

"Who said anything about fair?" she asked quietly.

"Mrs Lovett-"

"Mrs Todd," she emphasised. "We're married now. I'm yeh wife. No longer associated with that Albert Lovett. It's Mrs Todd or Nellie."

"Nellie, then," I said tiredly, still unable to refer to her as my wife with a clear conscience. "I have to go."

"Yeh only just got up 'ere."

I scowled. Clenching my fists, I inhaled deeply, attempting not to be overwhelmed by the anger raging my body. I did not want to make this any harder on her than it was. I could understand well enough that she loved me. Yet for some reason she still wanted to create a reason for me to hurt her.

"It's late," I reminded her. "I should like to make sure that Johanna is asleep."

Before I could open the door, Mrs Lovett's voice sounded quietly again.

"This was for 'er, wasn't it?" she asked. I turned slowly to face her again.

"Wh-"

"Marriage. It was for 'er, I'm guessing." She smiled sadly. "I already knew, love. I just didn't want to say it out loud. Yeh want 'er to 'ave a mother."

"And what if it is?" I asked firmly.

"Guess I don't 'ave anything to complain about," she replied, chuckling to herself slightly. I noticed she was slowly moving to lean against her pillows, almost…seductively.

"I really should-"

"I know why else yeh came to me that day, Mr T," she added slowly.

"There is no other reason."

"Yeh're lying there, love. No reason to be ashamed. Just something else I really couldn't complain about."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, my throat dry now.

"Yeh mean to say yeh've never once thought about 'ow Johanna looks awfully like yehr Lucy." I could not help but notice how bitterly she had said the words 'your Lucy'.

"The thought may have appeared."

"And that's why yeh married me," she said almost triumphantly, now winding her hair around her ring finger. I wrinkled my nose, irritated with the childish way she tried to seduce me.

"That has nothing to do with it."

"I think it does, love. Not to say that yeh don't 'ear of these sort of things everywhere, anyway. Widowers, only a daughter to their name. Well, widowers can get awfully cold at night, can't they?"

"Have you any idea how sick that mind is of yours?" I asked cynically.

"But yeh've done exactly the right thing, don't yeh see? Yeh've tried to fix it all. Well," she began, smoothing out her slip, her fingers slowly fanning out the material. "I ain't complaining."

"I married you to fix all that," I said sternly. "My problems are solved."

"Do yeh really think that, love?"

"Of course I do."

Mrs Lovett smiled, biting her lower lip.

"Yeh've gotten 'alfway there at least. Men 'ave…certain needs to be fulfilled, don't they? It don't 'elp yeh battle if yeh leave those needs desirable, does it, now?"

I gritted my teeth, staring at her. She looked at me hopefully, her eyes wide with anticipation. My fists still did not soften from their clenched state, waiting for me to release my anger. I could not allow myself to do so, though.

Yet, under all of that anger, I knew that she was right. A small, smug smile came to the woman's lips as the realisation dawned on me. I gritted my teeth, moving towards her with the utmost disgust in my mind.

I'm so sorry, Lucy

Mrs Lovett wrapped her arms around my neck again, kissing my cheek. She sighed contentedly as my lips traced her collarbone, her jaw line, anything but her lips. My fingers twisted themselves through her hair, almost ripping it out. It seemed to do no good, though. She only pulled me closer towards her.

The only thing that I could hear throughout that night was Mrs Lovett's gasps, calling out my name. To say the least, she was…energetic. I could not make out any of her words, any of the things she whispered into my ear.

I could only hear the cries of my Lucy, screaming at me of my betrayal.