"Tonks can you grab it?" Kingsley's muffled voice came from above. Tonks beckoned to the baby, who she could tell was a boy from the blue jumper and socks he was wearing.
"Uh…here baby!" She said, calling to him as if he were a dog. She wished it was in a way. Animals were easy to handle. Babies on the other hand, were unpredictable and cried. "Come on, then…crawl to Dora."
"Dora?" Kingsley snickered. She scowled, but was able to get a hand on the baby's chubby little arm. Using her fingertips, she coaxed him forward into a crawl. He was still whining a bit, but the sight of a woman, however useless that woman might be, was still the closest thing he had to a mum. How long had he been sitting under this rubble? Who knew how much dust and other vile things he had ingested? The sound of cracking indicated that this little shelter was going to cave in any second. His skin was cold, but he couldn't have been there too long, it was still pink. When he was within her reach, she grasped him under the arms, hoping that was the correct way, before easing around to her back. It was quite astounding how heavy he was. Inch by inch, she moved back out of the pile as it began to crumble. Throwing her robes over him, she protected her own head as Kingsley and Robards dragged them out of the mess.
"Shit." Robards cursed, helping her to her feet. "We have a dead mother and a baby…we have no idea who said mother is or who the father is…" He ran a hand through his hair. "It's Christmas fucking Day—"
"Oi!" Tonks said sterny, putting a hand over the baby's ear. "Come on, Robards…watch your language." Robards rolled his eyes at her.
"Don't tell me your maternal instincts are kicking in." He mocked, glaring at her. She returned the look.
"What the hell is a maternal instinct?" She shot back, as the baby gripped the front of her robes and cried harder. Looking helplessly over at Kingsley, she could see he was suppressing a smirk, though the severity of the situation was not lost on any of them.
"What are we going to do with the kid until we can figure out who the mother is? And who the rest of the family is?" Robards asked, looking to the rest of the Aurors for a volunteer. Every set of eyes remained on Tonks and she put a hand up, adjusting the baby to sit on her hip.
"Stop now." She told him when he squirmed. Panic was starting to set in…just as it had the last time she'd held a baby. They can tell if you're uncomfortable…
Savage's words echoed through her mind. Swallowing she reminded herself to breathe and decided to bounce him a little like she'd seen other people do with babies. This would have all been moot if her parents had given her the sibling she'd begged for. "Well, don't look at me!" She cried, seeing the men staring at her holding him. "Just because I am a female, does not make me the best candidate—"
"Just till tomorrow, Tonks." Kingsley said soothingly. "He likes you."
"Oh, clearly." Tonks retorted as the baby reached for her hair and yanked, resulting in a shriek leaving her and, consequently, him. "Er…there, there." She said awkwardly, patting the boy's back. A moment later, he laid his head against her shoulder, shoving his fist into his mouth. The strangest thing happened to her when he did that…a weird tugging in her chest. Her breath caught and she felt her eyes burn again.
"Get him out of here, Tonks…" Kingsley said, nodding toward the street.
"And go where?" She said, hating that she was emotional over this. "My parents are gone for the week, I no longer have a flat…I can't take him to the Hog's Head—"
"Molly's having Christmas dinner tonight." Kingsley reminded her. Tonks stared at him as if he were mental.
"You have got to be kidding." She said to him. "You know who's over there." Kingsley rolled his eyes.
"I would think that would make you all the more determined." He teased, while she glared at him.
"You're an arse—"
"Ah-ah!" He said, nodding to the baby. "Language Nymphadora…" She growled.
"I so wish I could turn my hair red right now." She said to him, making him laugh again. "How can I get there? Is it safe to Apparate with a baby?"
"I wouldn't." Kingsley agreed.
"Here!" Sudekis said, bringing a worn looking broom to her. "Take this." She nodded, still seething with the fact that she'd gotten stuck on nanny duty simply because she had breasts. Eye-Patch didn't have to step up, so why did she? Removing her Auror robes for a moment, she conjured a harness to hold the baby against her. It would at least last her until she arrived at the Burrow. Once she had him settled into it, she put her robes back on and got on the broom. If she was clumsy on the ground, she was graceful on a broom and for that, she was thankful as she sprung up into the air, making sure her robes covered the baby's face and ears. He did not squirm any longer, nuzzling his face into her chest.
"Okay, I hope you're not trying to eat out of those." She told him when he got a particularly good hold of her left breast. "There's nothing in there, kid." It was late by now, nearly midnight. If someone had asked her earlier today how she was spending her Christmas night, she would have laughed in their face at the thought of bringing a baby to the Burrow. As the house came into view, her heart began to thump loudly in her chest. She eased them to the ground and tossed the broom aside as she approached the back door, making sure not to trip with the baby wrapped in her robes.
The house was dark and no signs that anyone was awake other than the dim light of a candle from within the kitchen, made her hesitate. The baby whimpered against her shoulder.
"All right, kiddo." She said, sighing and knocking on the door. "We're going inside…where it's warm." She put her arm under his behind to hoist him up and rubbed his back with her other hand to keep him warm. Knocking again, she heard voices on the other side of the door.
"Who's there?" Arthur asked. Tonks sighed heavily, hating that people had to resort to questioning their own friends.
"It's Nymphadora Tonks, Auror. Twenty-three years old. Your son Charlie and I were good friends in school and he has a tattoo of a Horntail on his back that only you, Bill and I know about." The door swung open to reveal a shocked Molly. Tonks felt her face heat up. She'd just blown Charlie's secret. Behind Arthur and Molly stood Bill and of course, Remus. She did not look over at him, though her body seemed to react to his very presence, sending her knees into some sort of trembling convulsion.
"Is everything all right, dear?" Molly asked, pulling her in. Tonks had to be careful that the baby did not get jostled as she stumbled forward.
"Sorry for intruding so late…we just were on an investigation—"
"This late at night? On Christmas?" Molly said, quickly casting a Muffliato so that the children were not woken.
"I didn't have anywhere else to take him." She said.
"Him?" Molly exclaimed, immediately setting about getting tea ready. Tonks opened her robe and showed them all their second houseguest. A collective gasp emerged from the four of them. The tea was forgotten and Molly was in front of her examining the baby in an instant.
"Bringing our work home with us?" Bill teased, grinning at her. Tonks gave him a scathing look sinking into a chair as Molly took the baby.
"Dumped on me, more like!" She complained, feeling bad. The poor kid hadn't been abandoned on purpose. "The mum's dead and they have no idea who the dad or any other family is…I was the closest female entity, so I ended up getting him as a consolation prize." She glanced at Remus, who had taken over for Molly getting tea prepared. Arthur jumped as Fred and George waltzed in.
"We thought we heard a knock!" Fred said, eyeing his mother who was trying to console the baby. He was agitated, reaching for something. Tonks realized with a start that he was reaching for her. Molly's eyes twinkled.
"He wants you, Tonks." Molly looked over at Remus, who seemed very intent on measuring out the proper amount for each cup. Tonks absently put her arms up for him and could not deny the relief she felt when the baby was seated on her lap again. Weird. George settled across the table from her as Remus set down a cup of tea in front of her and settled into the seat beside her to Molly's obvious pleasure. Tonks took a sip of the tea, and almost smiled. Remus always knew the exact amount of sugar she liked in it.
"Cute kid, Tonks…yours?" George asked good naturedly. Setting the tea down, she gave him a pointed glance.
"Yes, George. I have the fastest working uterus in the world. Or better yet, I gave birth to him months ago without anyone knowing I was pregnant."
"Hey, you're the one who took the muggle pregnancy test remember?" Fred laughed, waggling his eyebrows at Remus, who reddened.
"Bugger you." Tonks muttered. She would never live that one down, would she? Looking over at Bill, she raised one eyebrow at him. He looked into his tea, though the smile did not leave his face. "My parents are out of town…I had to let the flat go…I couldn't bring him to the Hog's Head."
"Goodness, no!" Molly agreed. "Does he have a name?" Tonks shrugged, taking another long drink of tea.
"The back of his jumper says Elliott." Remus pointed out, nodding to where the name had been hand stitched in. Tonks leaned back to look and was surprised.
"He's so cute!" Fred said in a baby voice. "Look at those wittle blue socks!" Tonks laughed, despite herself.
"He's heavier than I thought." She said shifting him.
"He's making the funniest face!" George added, nudging Fred in the ribs. They shared a chuckle watching him. Tonks felt Elliott let out a grunt…wait, a grunt? Sniffing, she was suddenly affronted by the whiff of you-know-what. Fred and George flew back from the table as Tonks looked weakly at Remus for guidance.
"Molly…" She called, holding Elliott up. "He's gone—it's…" Molly was one step ahead of her, rummaging through a cupboard in the hallway and coming back with a stack of white linens.
"Nappy?" She offered, smiling knowingly.
"I don't know how." Tonks told her, feeling like an idiot. Molly laid a towel on the table and instructed Tonks to lay the baby on his back. Elliott grabbed at his own toes and babbled happily.
"Didn't you ever change Harry or anything?" Tonks fired at Remus, who looked torn between laughter and fleeing.
"No…his parents had that quite in hand." Remus told her, standing and peering over her shoulder at Elliott. "Can't be too hard, though I wouldn't assume anything."
"I'll show you." Molly said, grinning. "Six boys…boys are trickier." She gingerly opened the dirty diaper, sending a truly heinous smell floating through. "You want to make sure you keep it covered until you're absolutely ready." She added, reaching for a wet rag to wipe him with. Tonks was shocked when Molly handed the rag to her and looked at her expectantly.
"You want m-me to do it?" She asked, backing up directly into Remus. He steadied her by the shoulders.
"You'll need to learn sometime." Molly said, eyeing the two of them with a determined gleam in her eye.
"For what?" Tonks asked, clutching the rag and stepping toward her. Elliott looked up at her with big, inquisitive blue eyes.
"Well, you'll want one someday, won't you?" Molly asked, mischief in her brown eyes. She pulled Tonks, who was now looking to Remus to save her. He put his hands up and backed away, the traitorous male. "Now, you just take him by the ankles and gently lift…" Tonks did as she was told, cringing as the odor filled her nostrils. "Wipe him, but not too hard." Molly told her. "Always make sure you have the new nappy underneath before you get rid of the old one."
"What do you—" A steady stream flew into the air as Tonks began to see exactly what Molly had been talking about keeping him covered. A small laugh left the older woman as Tonks blinked in horror. Molly quickly performed a cleansing spell and helped her straighten the new diaper before fastening it.
"And there you have it." Molly told her, squeezing her shoulders. "You've changed your first nappy, how do you feel?"
"I feel the urge to shower." Tonks muttered, lifting Elliott to face her. He smiled, revealing two bottom teeth. Again with the tugging in her chest. She shrugged it off and settled him back on her hip, but she let her hand smooth down the blond curls at the back of his head. It felt almost right.
"He's tired." Arthur said, sharing a look with Molly as the baby wiped at his eye. "Ronnie used to do that." Molly's eyes filled with tears.
"Can you believe he's sixteen now?" She asked. Fred made a sound that was dangerously close to a snort. "And wearing a necklace that says "My Sweetheart."" He and George grinned at each other, Bill didn't try to stifle his laugh. Even Remus grinned, looking more like himself that Tonks had seen in months. It made her feel hopeful in a way, to see them all smiling.
"Come in here." Molly said quietly, waving them into the living room. She settled Tonks onto the sofa. "Hold him this way." She added, turning the baby so that he was lying facing Tonks and she was cradling him in her arms. "Just pat him and rock a bit…it soothes them."
"I'm not…motherly…" Tonks said, trying to do what Molly told her to. The baby began to fuss again and the same panic welled up again as Elliott squirmed.
"Too bad we don't have a pacifier for him." Molly said. Tonks frowned, unsure of anything anymore… "Why don't you talk to him?"
"I don't know what to say—" She said. Elliott let out a sharp wail, so Tonks did the first thing that came to mind. She sang. It had been years since she'd sung, and she didn't really relish that it was in front of an audience, but she wasn't much concerned with them at the moment. It was the lullaby her mum used to sing her, and to her surprise, the baby calmed, staring at her, locking eyes with her. It was so strange, this sensation…all new and completely frightening, and yet, she never wanted it to end.
It was the singing that did it…made him fall even further in love with her. He'd never known she could sing, much less like that. For all the clumsiness and self doubt she showed, that voice had come straight from the heavens. Dark hair still hanging prettily out of that soft pink cap, her silvery eyes framed by those long dark lashes. Remus wanted to remember this moment for the rest of his life. It would be the image he used to conjure his Patronus from now on…the one he would think of at his lowest, Nymphadora Tonks holding that baby and singing to him as if he were her own.
"Breathe, Remus." Bill reminded him quietly, clapping him on the shoulder. Remus hadn't realized he was holding his breath watching them. He had never realized that he was staring at the thing he wanted most in the world…not just her, but family. Obviously, this baby would be sent back to its family immediately, but the image would be seared into his mind until he died. Even after she came to her senses and found someone who deserved her, he would never forget this. No one would ever love her as much as he did.
Somehow, even though he was drunk with the need to watch her, his hands found a blanket that was lying across the back of one of the armchairs. He lifted it and made his way slowly across the room, settling it over her and the baby. Looking back, he realized they had been left unmercifully alone. Molly's doing, no doubt. Dora stopped singing, carefully leaning back to look down at Elliott's face. Her eyes filled with triumph.
"Asleep." She whispered as if she couldn't believe it. "I did it." Remus settled next to her and forgot momentarily his resolution to keep away from her. She backed up against him, his arm draping easily around her.
"You were brilliant." He agreed excitedly. Tomorrow, he would care that this was wrong. She was too happy to ruin the moment and he hadn't seen her smile in ages…neither of them had really. Not since Sirius…
Six months he had been gone. It was hard to believe how much had changed. Bill and Fleur would be married by this time next year, perhaps expecting their own baby. Harry, Ron and Hermione would be in their final year at Hogwarts…everyone seemed to be moving forward except for him. Remus had never been able to see a future for himself because he had never allowed himself to. He was not deluding himself. Werewolves were not a happy species who settled down and had kids, which was why it was generally unknown whether the child of a werewolf would inherit the lycanthropy. He wouldn't want to risk it, though the baby sleeping against Dora's breast made it a tempting ideal.
Her head dropped and rested against his shoulder. Remus realized she was still wearing her cap and gently removed it, placing a kiss to the crown of her head and taking in her familiar scent. The sound of chuckling from outside the doorway made Remus look up. He thought he saw the silhouettes of two mischievous eighteen year olds standing there. He realized with a start that there was suddenly a sprig of mistletoe above his and Dora's heads.
"Damn." He heard himself say. Dora looked up at him, her gray eyes wide with question before she followed his gaze.
"Those little bastards." She muttered. "It'll go away soon, I'm sure."
"No…" He said, understanding. "It's enchanted. They've been doing this all night to everyone. Ron and Bill were forced to kiss in order to be able to move." A surprised giggle left her mouth, appealing to him so much that he used his free hand to tilt her face up toward his and in a soft manner, pressed his mouth to hers, closing his eyes. The second their lips touched, the enchantment was broken, but he wasn't ready to stop kissing her. It didn't deepen, of course, not with the baby lying in her arms, but they stayed that way for a few moments, pressing gentle kisses to each other's lips. When he pulled away, she was staring wide eyed at him, but she didn't say anything, instead looking down at Elliott, who remained in contented slumber. Remus gasped, watching her.
"Dora!" He exclaimed in a hushed voice. "Your hair!"
"My hair?" She reached up to touch it.
"It…flashed." He told her. She turned to look back at him again, a new look in her eyes. Hope.
"Flashed?"
"Pink!" He told her, holding her face in his hands. "It went pink for a moment!" His heart had begun to beat wildly in his chest while his breath hitched in his throat.
"It did?" She said, excitedly, stopping and obviously trying to change it. Sure enough, after a few moments, it slowly turned pink from the roots down. Letting out the breath she had been holding, it went back to brown in an instant, but the smile did not leave her face.
"I'm out of practice…" She admitted, sighing. Remus remembered something Harry had told him at dinner..
"Dora, when did your Patronus change?" He asked her quietly, feeling her inhale sharply.
"Harry." She said aloud, more to herself than to him.
"I don't know exactly when." Dora admitted, searching his face. "But it did."
"Show me." He heard himself say. Without looking away, she pulled her wand out of her pocket and pointed it, whispering,
"Expecto Patronum." The giant silver wolf galloped forward, turning to stare at them. Harry hadn't gotten a chance to tell him about this because Scrimgeour had interrupted them. Remus stared at it, feeling his eyes burn.
He was her Patronus…and she was his.
Just like James and Lily. Sirius seemed to say. Meant to be…
"An emotional upheaval…" He murmured, watching it fade.
"Don't you see?" She whispered to him, staring at him with teary eyes.
"I see…" Remus nodded, still staring at the spot where the wolf had stood. "But it still doesn't change things."
"I know, damn you." Dora sniffed. "But just so you know…it doesn't change things for me either. I meant what I said before. There will be no one else. Ever." A long sigh left her as she brushed her fingers across Elliott's cheek, gazing down at him. "My Patronus changed, because I, Nymphadora Elizabeth Tonks, love you, Remus John Lupin…and I am proud of the man you are, not the beast you think you are…and no amount of arguing will ever convince me otherwise." Her eyes grew darker, more determined and he saw another flash in her hair, this time red. "I am exactly right for you…and you for me."
"Elizabeth?" He managed to say, though it sounded hoarse. "Such a normal name for an extraordinary girl."
"Remus, I am a woman." Dora said passionately. "You, of all people, should know that since you are, in all honesty, the last person who saw me naked." A fierce blush came to his face as he remembered their last time together…unromantic as it may have been, on her kitchen table, and rushed. Before he could protest again, she leaned up and caught his lips again, whimpering into his mouth. It made his head spin. The baby made a noise, moving slightly in Dora's arms and pulling them apart. She looked down at him with concern on her face and Remus saw there the seed planted in her. A new desire was forming in Tonks's heart…and Elliott had been the catalyst. She would be a brilliant mother…which was another reason he had to leave her be, despite what his heart was screaming at him. This was her destiny…to love and be loved…to have a child, to get married and wear a lovely white gown – Merlin, there was a thought.
Too old, too poor, too dangerous, he reminded himself, though it was a delicious picture, her walking toward him in a wedding dress and veil. He had his mother's engagement ring in his rucksack, just upstairs…
No.
Tomorrow would be the time to go back to reality…there was no way he was getting up off of this sofa and leaving her alone in the dark. Not tonight. Tonight he was going to enjoy the little time they had together and hold her in his arms and maybe, just maybe, if he squinted hard enough…he could pretend they were his to keep. His arm tightened around her, making sure that he had Elliott in his grasp as well before lifting her into his lap. The fire in the otherwise, dark living room made her skin glow amber. She stared down at him now.
"You know, for someone who doesn't want to be with me, you certainly make a good show of contradicting yourself." Her voice was soft, her eyes were blazing.
"Some hypocrite, eh?" He smiled, despite himself.
"No." Dora said, turning the baby to lay in her other arm so that she could reach out and brush Remus's cheek with her fingertips. "Not a hypocrite…just someone whose actions prove what he really wants." Bringing her forehead to his, she looked into his eyes. "Remus, I beg you. Stop denying me. I can see that you love me."
"I always have…" He told her, choking the words up. "Since the first Order Meeting when you tumbled into my arms." She pressed forward once more, kissing him again and holding his cheek. His hand moved up to rest at the base of her neck, but he did not push her away. It felt right having her here…she belonged here.
Yes she does… Sirius agreed in his mind. Still here, Moony…and I still think you're wrong for letting her go. This could be yours. You could have THIS with her.
"Happy Christmas, Remus." Dora said against his lips…her voice was tinged with sadness, as if she knew they would both go their separate ways tomorrow morning. Elliott would go back to his own family.
"Happy Christmas, love." He whispered, drawing her mouth back to his and holding her steadily, closing his eyes and getting lost in the moment.
Kingsley arrived at The Burrow just as the sun was rising, waking Tonks who was still flush against Remus with the baby sleeping in her arms. She rose carefully, so that she would not fall with him. He had woken too, staring around and babbling in his baby talk. Remus stared tiredly at her, as if he hadn't slept at all. She'd stayed awake as long as she could manage, not wanting to miss a moment with him.
"We've found his family." Kingsley told her, red eyed with exhaustion. He nodded at Remus, whose hair was delightfully mussed. Tonks absolutely adored the scruffiness along his jaw, still rugged from the full moon earlier in the week. Tonks held Elliott tighter, pressing her face into the downy softness of the fair curls on his head.
"Are you sure they're decent people?" She heard herself ask, making Kingsley go wide-eyed.
"Don't tell me you've discovered your maternal side." He laughed, patting her head. She scowled.
"'Course not." She said, "But I haven't forgotten Harry's Aunt and Uncle."
"Petunia wasn't always so petulant." Remus said, stepping beside her and shaking Kingsley's hand. "Life was unkind to her."
"Her husband is a cow." Tonks shuddered, thinking of the two going at it. Both men laughed at this.
"We have to go, Tonks." Kingsley said apologetically. "They're waiting for him." Tonks looked down into Elliott's sweet face and felt her heart break a little. After less than half a day with him, she didn't want to give him back.
"Alright." She agreed, careful not to show her disappointment. "Say goodbye to Remus." Remus crouched to brush the baby's pink cheek with one finger.
"Good luck, Elliott. May your life be full of happiness and love." He said, standing up again as the baby chewed happily on his own fist. Tonks kept her eyes on Kingsley as she started out the door, remaining strong only until Remus said,
"Dora." A sob caught itself in her throat as she whirled around and flung back at him, rising on her toes to kiss him goodbye. For some reason, she had a horrible feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach…like this was the last time she'd ever see Remus.
"Be safe." She told him.
"You, as well." He rasped, his voice thick with emotion. Their hands lingered together for a moment before she forced herself to drift away and follow Kingsley without another word.
Pure Christmas mush...four months early. LOL. Sorry it's SOOO sappy.
