Pregnant.

The word resonates around the room like a gunshot and she's left recoiling after pulling the trigger.

He just stares at her for a while, mouth dropped open lazily in shock, eyes incapable of blinking as he processes the information.

"You're… pregnant."

It's neither a statement nor a question, just a string of words uttered in disbelief in a tone that she's too numb to figure out because all she feels at the moment is fear.

"No."

He jerks his head with a quipped eyebrow.

"No?"

Okay so 'no' was a completely stupid thing to say.

"Well yes. I am. At least, the 11 pregnancy tests I've taken seem to think I am."

"11?"

"I was in denial for the first 6.."

"So you're actually…"

"Yeah."

Despite the waves of adrenaline flashing through her head, the rest of her body is stone cold glued to the floor and she thinks he's suffering from the same condition until his legs crumble and he crashes down on the couch. He starts slowly but aggressively rubbing his temples and she just watches him waiting for him to make the next move.

It then occurs to her that she should have planned this out a whole lot better. Prepared a speech or something or at least got her own head sorted out before causing his to malfunction too. Her legs finally gain enough feeling to allow her to move to sit on the coffee table in front of the couch and her heart rate begins to slow down to normality as she sits waiting for him to say something. He takes so long she's able to totally regain her strength and psyches herself up enough to deal with this situation calmly and controlled like her usual self.

He finally snaps out of his routine and sits back into the couch for a split second before springing back forward on the edge of his seat with the most serious face she's ever seen him wear in his life.

"Whose, whose the father? Is it his?"

He holds his breath waiting for the answer.

She leans forward on the edge of the coffee table and bears into his eyes. This is important.

"It's yours."

His eyes soften but his face stays still.

"I'm just supposed to trust you on that?"

She knows he has a right to ask that, but her response comes out slow and cold.

"I know I'm a bitch but you know I'm not a liar."

"Well how can you be sure?"

"A. He used a condom and B. I never actually let him finish. I stopped him after about 3 minutes actually. And you and I have never really been overly careful…"

"So you're saying there's no chance it's his?"

"No. This baby is 100% yours and mine."

Her response carries all the confidence in the world and he feels safe enough to believe her. But after a fleeting moment of joy he starts to panic again. She expects the panic, she's damn near drowned in it herself, but she's totally unprepared for what he comes out with next.

"Did you do this on purpose? To trap me?"

There's an anger to his tone that she really doesn't fucking appreciate.

"Yeah Finn, yeah that's exactly what I did. I thought hmm it's such a shame this boy doesn't like me anymore. I know, I'll grow a human being inside my stomach and put myself through 9 months of hell followed by a lifetime of stress and responsibility just so I can hear his theories on which of the Muppets would make the best side-kick in a zombie invasion every morning. You know what, screw you."

She stands and moves in front of the TV with her arms folded across her chest and her explosion is enough to snap him back to his senses.

"I'm sorry I just, I don't… you're on the pill, it shouldn't…."

"Well it has."

She can't explain it any better than that.

"How long have you known?"

"A few days… Well deep down I guess I've known for couple of weeks I just, didn't want to accept that it could be true."

"Are you sure? I mean, maybe it's just trapped gas or something."

She rolls her eyes and ignores the temptation to laugh.

"Maybe! Pregnancy tests are known for confusing human babies with methane ones."

"Okay look just, everybody calm down!" He stands up in desperation and she wonders how many people he thinks are actually in the room right now.

"This is, this is not. You can't have a, we can't take care of a baby. We can't even take care of ourselves let alone each other, let alone a baby. I can't, I need to…"

He bows his head and makes his way towards the front door, his legs not really functioning properly as he moves in more of an awkward bouncing motion than a walk.

He has a right to freak out and she doesn't want to crumble in front of him any more than she has already but she doesn't want him to go.

"No, Finn please don't leave!"

He turns back around before closing the door but keeps his eyes to the ground as if he knows how heartbreaking it would be to look at her pleading face right now.

"I have, I.. I'm sorry I just need to go, in air, and think because this is…"

And with that he closes the door behind him leaving her standing there, in the middle of her apartment, all alone clutching her chest. She stays strong for a good solid two minutes before falling apart completely.


After crying her eyes out in the living room she figured it would be a nice change of scenery to cry her eyes out in her bedroom, and after crying a friggin' waterfall onto her bed sheets, she pulled herself together again and shook the hysteria off. She figures she's cried more in the last month or so than she has done over the rest of her life and she's sick of it. This is why she didn't feel things, or let people have a stock in her emotions because then everything just gets completely fucked up including herself.

She's done avoiding this and wishing it wasn't happening. It's time to deal with it. She's good at dealing with things, just getting on with it and moving forward, has been all her life so she figures it's time to get herself back to the Santana Lopez who can do just that. Instead of the weepy, pathetic mess she's been of recent.

She decides she's pissed at him for leaving. She didn't see it coming, not from him. She knows he'll be back eventually but her head's set into manage mode and she's not going to wait around for him to catch her up. She decides she needs to talk to someone about this but as she debates her options she finds them lacking.

As much as she loves Brittney the girl lives in fucking Narnia and probably wouldn't give the best-informed opinions. Puck's always great to talk to in crisis but he'd kill her for even considering any other option apart from keeping it. She doesn't want to give her colleagues something to gossip about behind her back and she doesn't want to even think about telling her parents. She comes close to calling Quinn but decides it feels wrong on every level so in the end she just sits there in her apartment arguing it out on her own.

And then it hits her that she's not on her own. She's there with her un-grown and unborn child. She places her hands on her stomach just thinking about how weird it is that there's a person growing inside her. She thinks about really being pregnant, having to balloon up and waddle around with mood swings and stretch marks, the horrors of labor followed by the constant pressure of being responsible for someone and making sure they not only survive for years on end but that they turn out good and not a crazy serial killer or a cult activist or something. She thinks about the drama and the chaos and the drain these responsibilities would have on her own life. And then she thinks about Finn, and how this will all affect him and how this is going to affect their already screwed up dysfunctional relationship. They've not even been together for a year and they already fight way too much. Mind you they also have sex way too much, as evident by the impending baby bump. But they're still kind of messed up right now and she's too young, too selfish and too unprepared for all this. And there are a million different reasons as to why this can't happen.

She understands that. What she doesn't understand however, is why there's this small new resilient voice at the back of her head telling her that maybe those reasons aren't actually enough… She silences it but reaching for her laptop and typing abortion clinics into google...


He finally storms back into the apartment and as she checks the time she's surprised to note it's been three hours since he left. He enters the bedroom and stands firm at the foot of the bed. He's still clearly flustered and desperate but there's a focus and urgency about him now.

"Okay look I'm sorry I shouldn't of walked out on you that was seriously crappy of me I just, this is…"

"-fucked up?" she fills in for him, putting the laptop down on the bed, freeing her arms to cross over her chest.

"Yeah. But it's ok we can figure this all out. We just need to, figure it all out so lets get straight to the point. What do you want to do?" he sits himself down next to her while she takes her time to respond.

"I don't know."

"Ok.. well that's not really helpful with the whole figuring out thing-"

"Yeah well neither was storming out and leaving me here on my own."

"Right…." He sighs and begins looking around the room for inspiration for something to say next. That's when he notices the tab open on her laptop screen. She notices him notice, but this time she's prepared. "Wait, what's that? Santana you can't have a-"

"-Finn let me ask you a question, if you had to chose between taking a little pill or pushing a honeydew melon out of your penis which would it be?"

He ponders that for a second with a disturbed look on his face. And then he just looks at her in heavy despair.

"But it's not a melon it's a person. It's, our person. A little baby person with arms and feet and a heart and stuff…"

She knew he'd get emotional about this.

"No it's just a sperm in an egg."

"You don't believe that." He tells her with a conviction that proves enough to break her façade. She doesn't believe that. Especially not after the hour she just spent researching the whole thing. There's no point trying to lie to herself, or him.

"Okay fine I'm not going to have an abortion. I can't it's too… But what are we supposed to do Finn?"

They sit there in silence for a while, her staring at the computer screen and him staring between her and the floor. He starts twitching uncomfortably in his seat and she knows that's him trying to gain the courage to say something. She's not really expecting what he comes out with though…

"Santana… we could totally do this."

He says it slow and serious, but he's not instantly understood.

"What?"

"We can do this. We can have this baby." She rolls her eyes but he interrupts her before she can begin her protest. "I know it's terrifying but when you think about the big picture as like, small details that all combine together to make the big picture, it's not that bad. And I think we can totally do this."

He's deadly serious. She knows he loves kids but she knows how big of one he is himself and she thinks he's clearly not thought about the real repercussions like she has over the last three hours.

"Finn-"

"-Parenting's not that difficult! You just keep them dry, keep them out of sunlight and don't feed them after midnight."

He's smiling. She's definitely not.

"That was a joke… gremlins?"

"This isn't a fucking joke Finn!"

"No I know I'm just… I'm just saying it's simple when you really think about it. I mean, when you love something you'll do anything to keep it safe and happy and maybe this isn't perfect or ideal timing but… you're growing our baby. Our baby. Yours and mine and I already know that I'm going to love it more than anything I've ever loved in this world and knowing that, I know that I'll do anything for it so, whatever problems you're thinking and worrying about, I'll solve them before they even have a chance to rise."

He's completely sincere and it melts her heart a little but she forces herself to stick to her cynical realism.

"That's great Finn but I have a Sudoku book that you filled out playing noughts and crosses. The first time I wore a lace corset for you, you came at me with scissors because you couldn't figure out how to untie the back. Remember when you accidently set the microwave to 10 minutes instead of 1 and you couldn't work out how to stop it so you nearly killed yourself by ripping the door off instead! You're not exactly a problem solver Finn."

It comes out more bitter than she anticipated and he takes it the wrong way.

"Are you saying I won't be a good dad?"

She realizes her mistake and gives a softer, honest response.

"No, no. You're going to be an amazing dad. But sometimes loving something just isn't enough. Look at us…"

He thinks about this for a second but it just excites him further.

"Exactly. Look at us. There are tons of reasons we shouldn't be together. I'm a loser and a dork who can't cook a microwave meal and you're a really mean emotionally unstable lawyer who's scared of things being nice. We shouldn't work but we do. Because love is enough and if it wasn't I'd be able to hate you because of what you did and you'd have never loved me in the first place."

There's a determined enthusiasm about him and she's running out of counterarguments. It scares her how easily he's convincing her, but it still doesn't make sense.

"You really expect this to work. You, me and a baby."

He takes her hand.

"I got my old job back at the bar. It's not perfect but it'll do for now and it's a steady income. And you've got a super comfortable income and job so it's not like money's going to be a problem between us. I'm going to be there for every doctor's appointment, every morning you get sick, every freak-out that you have with every inch that your stomach expands, every time the baby kicks -because let's face it the kid's got good kicking genes- and I'm going to be there to wait on you hand on foot when you're on maternity leave. And 9 months from now I'm going to be stood beside you during the birth wearing my old football pads and helmet because we both know you're going to inflict a hell of a lot of damage on me on that day and then most importantly I am going to be there every hour of every day that that kid and I are both on this planet."

She totally believes him. She just stares at him in awe thinking that he's without question the sweetest most unbelievable guy on the planet. She's looking like she could burst into tears at any moment but then it hits her that she's totally lapping up everything he's saying and there's something in her that's okay with that. Something in her that's okay with what he's proposing and it really starts to freak her out. She breaks her gaze from him and starts shaking her head as she moves to sit on the edge of the bed, chewing her thumb. He moves with her spotting her vulnerability.

"Look I know you're scared. And I know you have to make the decision and I'll respect whatever decision you make but just know that we can do this. We could have this baby."

It's not a decision. There is no decision. There's no way she could bring herself to have an abortion and there's no way she could bring herself to give their baby away. Which leaves her with one option. And it's not a choice or a choice of a lack of choice it's a compulsion. She'd never have seen this coming but fact of the matter is she's pregnant with Finn Hudson's baby and she already loved it irrevocably.

She exhales and turns to look him in the eyes.

"If you chicken out over the next few months and forget everything you just said I will hunt you down and literally kill you, dead. I will kill you, dead. Twice. Because I want this baby to have two parents who care about it. I know what its like to have parents who don't care and you know what it's like growing up with one missing and I don't want that for our child."

He nods in agreement to her demands before realizing what she's actually saying.

"Our child? So does that mean we're keeping it?"

"I have gone over and over this in my head a thousand times. This shouldn't be happening. I can't explain it but as much as the thought of being a parent terrifies me, I just can't turn my back on it now that it's happening."

He presses their foreheads together with a smile. He can feel her shaking slightly so he places a kiss on the end of her nose, knowing how that little act has always been effective in calming her down.

She laughs slightly and puts her hands on her stomach.

"I feel like it's judging me already, which makes sense because it has my DNA so of course it's already a stubborn, judgmental badass. But I guess if J-Lo can be a young hot Latina mamma with a good career and an even better rear so can I right?"

"Definitely. You'll be like the Hispanic version of Erin Broko….stitchmonshipwoman… Julia Roberts."

"What do we do about us? I am scared shitless right now. And I need you more than I have ever needed anyone in my entire life. But now I need you for this baby's sake. I don't need you to pretend everything's now fine because you want to be a good dad and I don't want to risk it if-"

He heads out the bedroom without warning and after a stunned moment she jumps off the bed to follow him.

"Are you seriously walking out on me again? Were you not listening to the I'm going to kill you dead speech?"

He's kneeling down on the living room floor next to a cardboard box, which he begins to unpack item by item.

"Cowboy hat and a shot-glass from Texas because I know cowboys are your favorite fetish, even though you tell people it's firemen, and you've always wanted to drink in a honkey-tonk bar. Giant wafer cookies from California and a bumper sticker because I know you've always wanted to drive along the East Coast in search of someone from 'the hills' to perform a hit and run. Mount Rushmore bobble-head, because you love tacky souvenirs, although I actually got this from a Walgreen in Washington because I didn't realize the real thing was in South Dakota… Diamond earrings and a knuckle-duster from Detroit because I know you enjoy thinking it's stereotypically gangster and 2 cases of that beer you liked in New York, although I guess you wont be wanting these now. I was actually out buying the beer the night Andy picked up my phone…"

She just stands there in bewilderment and he gets to his feet looking bashful.

"While I was on tour I wanted to prove I was thinking of you everywhere we went. But I guess I should have just called you and told you that instead of buying… this junk."

He starts walking towards her.

"This mess that we're in, it's just mess. I never stopped loving you and I know you made a mistake. All that's ever stood in our way is our own stupid pride. So I vote we just clean up. I'll be the mop and you be the bucket! We've got a nine month head start to work on fixing us and to figure this out so let's just take advantage of that…"

She's on the verge of tears again. The things this guy does to her… She's certain he must be sick of seeing her cry though so she swallows the lump in her throat and sarcastically rolls her eyes.

"You and your fucking metaphors."

He chuckles.

"You love it."

She loves him.

"You really think we can fix us and make this work?"

His hands fly around her waist, pulling her towards him.

"I love you Santana. And I'm pretty sure I'm going to love you even more when you swell up and start looking like the gross alien queen from alien vs predator that hatched all those eggs things on that conveyor belt."

She frowns but moves her arms up around his neck, one hand sliding to tangle in the back of his hair.

"Really? You're comparing the mother of your unborn child to a gross alien queen? I'm going to have to tattoo my 'kill you dead' speech onto your forehead aren't I…"

He smiles and leans in to kiss her but they both jerk back as if having received electric shocks.

"Fuck." He mutters half terrified, half in wonder.

"Yeah I heard it too…"

"Mother–of-my-unborn-child." He repeats slowly.

"I'm the mother of your unborn child… Holy hell we're having a baby!"


Sorry for the delay! And sorry this was such a long one... but i think it kind of needed to be. Hope you enjoyed! I'm kind of out of my depth with the pregnancy thing so some of the facts or whatever in the next few chapters may not 100% correct and they'll be a bit drabbly but hey, it's fanfiction!
On the home-stretch now! Thanks again to all reads/reviews! You guys have really kept me going! :D