There was a long moment of silence as they all stared, stunned.
"It had to be Amy, right?" Willow said from the floor, one hand taking Tara's as it rested on her shoulder.
Buffy nodded her head, looking between Xander and Giles. "Guys, go get those defenses in place. I get the feeling we're going to need them soon." Xander nodded and Giles stood up, both leaving the room. Buffy sighed, looking down at Faith on the bed and Kennedy and Satsu on the floor. "Go get your girls ready. And be careful, we don't know how close they are. They could already be watching us." She pointed to Andrew. "I guess you were right about there being a spy. You go with them. Call anyone who can help us find out how much time we have." He nodded and the slayers left with their Watcher.
Buffy hesitated, taking a deep breath, looking at the three women on the bed. "I need you guys to take care of each other." Willow's mouth dropped open to protest, but Buffy shook her head firmly. "They know your powers are gone, Will. Amy and Warren will be coming after you more than anyone. Whatever their reasons for joining Twilight, this, with you, is personal for them." Her gaze moved to Tara. "And you're sick, Tara." She looked finally at Dawn. "And you're my sister." She sighed. "You have to take care of each other. I'm going to go talk to Oz, try and figure out what's going on, how much time we have."
She pulled Willow to the side, lowering her voice. "I know you don't have any powers, but I also know that no matter what happens you'll do what you have to do to protect them." Willow nodded solemnly and Buffy sighed. "Just take care of yourself too, Willow."
The witch met her best friend's gaze, nodding. "Don't worry about us. I'll take care of Dawn, Buffy. Keep us in the loop. And be careful." Buffy nodded firmly and walked to the door.
She looked back at them over her shoulder, pausing in the doorway before rushing down the hall. The three looked at each other as she left, Tara standing up slowly and Willow rushed to her side to support her wife.
"You're still sick, Tara. Buffy's right," Willow protested, anxious.
Tara shook her head. "If they've found us, there's no reason to hide anymore. We've got to find a way to get our magic back." She looked at each of them. "Do either of you have anything left?"
Willow shook her head regretfully. "Only the connection and it's barely there."
Tara frowned thoughtfully. "Give me your hand," she said, lifting one of hers so Willow could take it. "Focus on the connection," she said quietly. "See if we can get anything together." Willow nodded, inexplicably nervous, her eyes slipping closed as she reached out to her wife.
Dawn was watching them carefully, hopeful. Nothing happened for several moments and Willow's eyes shot open as Tara doubled over suddenly, coughing. Willow slipped her arm around her shoulders, guiding her to sit on the edge of the bed. Dawn frowned, leaning over to look at Tara. "Are you okay?" she asked, worried.
Tara nodded as her coughing eased, immediately trying to stand up again. Willow's hands were instantly on her wife's shoulders, pushing her back down. "I don't think so, Tara. You're exhausted," Willow objected, scowling.
The blonde looked up at her, shaking her head. "I can't just go back to bed, Will. We have to do something. We're the only ones who can."
Willow was still scowling. "I'm not just going to let you wipe yourself out until we know more about what's going on." Tara's objection was interrupted by another coughing fit. When she was able to look up again, Willow's hands were planted on her hips, the resolve face firmly in place. Tara opened her mouth to speak, but Willow cut her off. "Not a chance, Tara." She dropped to her knees in front of her wife's seat on the bed. "We'll keep trying to use the connection, but I need you to rest." She looked up pleadingly. "Please, Tara?"
Tara finally nodded, sighing. Willow smiled, putting a hand on each of the blonde's knees. "Can I stay sitting up, or do you want me to lay down?" Tara asked, teasing lightly.
Willow shot her a chiding look, and Dawn giggled from her seat. "I'd rather you lay down, but I think you'll fight with me about it so I'm willing to let you stay sitting up." She gave her wife another look. "But one more coughing fit and it's back under the covers with you, okay? You really shouldn't be up at all."
Tara rolled her eyes, but Willow's gaze made it clear that she was serious. She finally nodded, leaning forward to touch her wife's face. "Okay. When can I take another dose of medicine?"
Willow checked her watch, surprised that it wasn't even ten in the morning. It felt like it should be later, but she had a feeling that this was going to turn into a long day…if they managed to survive it. "Not for another hour baby," she answered, forcing the other thoughts to the back of her mind.
Tara nodded. "Okay, good. Hopefully Buffy will be back by then." Willow nodded, and Tara's thumb glided over her cheek. "Let's get to work, love. I want to hear your voice in my head before my next dose of medicine."
Willow nodded back to her, smiling cautiously as her eyes slid closed. It was silent in the room for a long time, Dawn getting up from the bed to pace as she watched them anxiously. Tara's eyes were closed as well as Willow's and several times she had to choke back coughs, refusing to let them escape and keeping her hands pressed over Willow's on her knees. Eventually a cough escaped and Willow's eyes opened, looking Tara over worriedly.
Tara's eyes opened as she caught her breath, meeting Willow's gaze guiltily. "I can almost hear some kind of buzzing, but not your voice. I'm sorry," Tara sighed.
Willow shook her head anxiously. "That doesn't matter. We'll figure something out."
Tara reached over to the nightstand and picked up one of the bottles, looking at it briefly before putting it back down. "Which one do I need to take?" she asked Willow. The redhead picked up the correct one and handed it over. Tara took the pills and rested her hands on Willow's shoulders, pushing herself to her feet. "I've got an idea," Tara said as Willow shot to her feet, groaning at the stiffness in her knees from kneeling on the floor.
"Nuh-uh! Tara, no. We had a deal. One more coughing attack and you were going back to bed, remember?" Willow objected, shaking her head.
Tara ignored her and moved to walk to the door after determinedly pulling on her boots. Willow immediately jumped in her path. "Tara, there's no way in hell I'm letting you go outside. It's still snowing!"
Tara shook her head. "Willow, we don't have a lot of choices here, and we might not have much time. You can put me on bed rest later. I promise. My coughing attacks won't matter when we're getting really attacked by Warren and Amy and Twilight." Willow stared at her for a long moment before sighing heavily and stepping out of Tara's path. The blonde started walking back to the door, but was stopped by Dawn.
The younger girl was holding out a heavy sweater and a scarf. "I'm not going to stop you from doing whatever you have planned, but you need to bundle up Tara. It's freezing out there."
The blonde witch smiled, nodding and taking the clothes. She started coughing again while she was pulling it on and met Willow's increasingly worried gaze as her head cleared the neck hole. Tara lifted one arm without comment and Willow immediately slid it around her shoulder, the blonde leaning on her.
They walked slowly down the passage and Tara pushed the first door that led outside open and went out into the snow. Willow insistently pulled them around the corner of the building so they were out of the wind and crossed her arms, waiting to see what Tara had planned. The blonde used her boots to start kicking snow away from her, trying to clear a space in the deep snow that covered the ground. Dawn and Willow started helping her, eventually clearing a small patch of frozen grass. Willow caught Tara by the arm as the sick blonde started to sit down in the space.
"Are you crazy? You're not sitting down in the snow! What are we doing out here anyway?" Willow asked. "Anything we're doing, I'm going to do it. And you're going back inside to bed as soon as you tell me what it is we're doing," she said firmly.
"We've been sending our power into the earth. I want to try and get it back the same way," Tara said.
Willow's eyes widened and she nodded. "It's worth a try." She gave her wife a stern look. "But you're not meditating in this. You're still sick." She rested her hand on Tara's forehead, feeling the fever.
Tara smiled. "That's actually helping. I don't feel the cold that much."
Willow shook her head. "Not funny." She pointed back to the monastery. "I'll do it. You just get back inside." She looked at Dawn. "You take her inside and keep her there." Dawn nodded firmly, snow dropping off of her hair.
Tara hesitated, not willing to leave. "I can help you," she said.
"You're going to get pneumonia if you stay out here," Willow said firmly, stepping forward to press her forehead against Tara's. "You and Dawnie have to talk to Buffy and Oz. You guys have to figure out a plan in case this doesn't work. You'll know if it works." She smiled and leaned up to press a kiss to Tara's warm forehead. "And if it works, we'll get all the slayers out here to meditate their asses off in this blizzard."
Tara nodded, smiling back. "Now, you get your gorgeous ass back inside, my love," Willow instructed, pushing her wife back gently by her shoulders. Tara sighed and nodded, taking several hesitant steps backwards. They could all hear the sudden distant rumble and exchanged worried glances before Willow pointed Tara firmly back towards the monastery.
Willow was kicking fresh snow out of the spot they'd cleared when she felt a hand on her back of her neck. She looked up in surprise and was shocked to meet Tara's lips. Her surprise didn't last, her body automatically responding to her lover's kiss. Her arms slipped around her wife's waist and she could feel Tara's cold fingers in her hair. After several moments Tara pulled back and Willow opened her eyes slowly. "What was that for?" she asked quietly, still surprised. "I thought we were on a kissing hiatus."
"If you're meditating in the snow, what's the harm in me kissing you?" Tara asked, smiling crookedly. "If a few colds are the worst things that happen to us because of this, then we can count ourselves lucky."
Willow nodded before leaning in for another kiss. They broke apart as they heard Dawn stomping her feet from the doorway. "C'mon guys. Kiss later. It's freezing out here, remember?" she complained, but there was a wide grin on her face.
Willow squeezed Tara's hand gently, frowning at the icy coldness of her fingers. "She's right. You get back inside."
Tara nodded reluctantly and turned back to the monastery. She stopped in her tracks as she thought she heard something, but the wind increased suddenly and she started moving again quickly.
Willow watched them go, disappointed, before dropping to sit down, her hands resting on her knees.
Dawn and Tara found Buffy and Oz with Faith, Giles, Xander and the rest of the elite slayers in the large room at the center of the monastery. Buffy eyed them cautiously as they came in, Tara walking slowly and leaning heavily on Dawn. Dawn insistently pulled Tara to sit against the wall, stubbornly pointing at the floor as Tara started to shake her head. Finally she relented, sliding down to sit. Dawn sat next to her, looking at her worriedly, her friend pale, hands shaking.
"Just because Willow's not here doesn't mean you can run around and get sicker, Tara," Dawn said quietly.
Tara sighed, smiling and nodding weakly. "And you'll tattle on me too, won't you?" she asked.
Dawn grinned, nodding. "You better believe it, Tara."
"Well if I can't move, can you do me a favor and go get me those papers and books on the dresser in my room? Bay gave them to me when we got here, but we've all been so busy I haven't really looked at them too closely. There might be something that can help Willow," Tara instructed. Dawn nodded, jumping up and returning a few minutes later with the requested items.
They listened to the others' frantic planning, not speaking up themselves, but trying desperately to think of something as they read. Tara would glance around occasionally as if she heard something, ignoring the worried looks everyone was giving her. She could feel her own magic channeling into her, knew it had to be coming through Willow, but couldn't hear her lover's voice, or feel any trace of her presence.
Dawn touched her cautiously on the shoulder a while later as her friend shook her head, eyes closed. Tara didn't respond, just frowned in concentration. Finally her eyes shot open and she blinked, smiling happily. "Willow!" The others turned to look at her and she looked next to her at Dawn. "I heard her." Her wife's voice was the barest of whispers in her mind, but it was there. She abruptly blushed, ducking her hair in front of her face. "Have you been saying stuff like that the whole time?"
Willow's voice was only slightly more audible, but it was there and the knowledge thrilled Tara. "I wanted to make sure I could get your attention."
"Spicy talk is the only way to get my attention?" Tara asked, smirking and only vaguely aware of the looks the others were giving her.
"No, normally just walking into a room works," Willow replied and Tara could hear her wife's smile, their connection still weak but strengthening every second.
"You noticed that, did you?"
"It's the same way for me, Tara."
It suddenly occurred to the blonde witch exactly how long her lover had been outside in the blizzard and she pushed herself to her feet quickly, forced to stop by a sudden outbreak of coughing. She could help smiling as she heard Willow's voice in her head again, louder that it had been in the weeks since they'd come to Tibet. "I can feel that, Tara Maclay. You better not move a muscle. I'm coming to you. Do not move."
Tara leaned against the wall, finally meeting Buffy's gaze. "Willow's coming in. She's been meditating outside. We've got our connection back." The Slayer's eyes widened and Tara shook her head before the other girl could get too excited. "It's still weak, Buffy. And I don't know if the technique will work for the slayers."
Buffy ran a hand through her hair, shaking her head. "It's the best idea we've come up with so far, Tara. I mean, we have Xander's guns and rockets, but I feel a bit better just knowing that you guys got anything."
Just then Willow came in, her cheeks red with cold. Her hands were shaking and there was a thin sheen of sweat on her face despite the fact that she'd been sitting in the snow for hours. Tara started to walk to her but Willow pointed at her firmly to stay put against the wall. Willow joined her quickly, taking her wife's hand. They felt the thrill of magic pass between them as they touched and both gasped, closing their eyes uncontrollably.
"You felt that, didn't you?" Willow asked, breathing heavily and squeezing Tara's fingers gently. The blonde nodded, her head dropping forward against Willow's shoulder. She felt suddenly weak and fainted, body slumping against Willow. "Tara? Are you okay?" Willow's fear escalated as Tara didn't respond and she pushed Tara's hair out of her face, trying to look at her.
Buffy was right there in a second, bending slightly to slide an arm under Tara's knees, the other around her shoulder, lifting the witch. Willow distractedly nodded her thanks at her best friend and the Slayer carried the unconscious Tara to the witches' room quickly. She put the witch down in the bed and stepped back as Willow took her place at her wife's side.
The anxious redhead pressed a hand to Tara's forehead, unfortunately still feeling the fever. She closed her eyes in concentration and tried to get a sense of Tara's condition through the still weak magical connection they shared. It didn't work and she opened her eyes in frustration.
"Is she okay?" Buffy asked quietly.
Willow shook her head, holding Tara's hand. "I can't tell. It's not strong enough yet."
"Could it be like at the wedding? You've both gotten stronger, but she's been sick. Maybe the connection overwhelmed her?" the Slayer suggested, trying to comfort her friend.
Willow nodded reluctantly. "You're probably right. I don't feel anything wrong, but I can't really tell yet. The meditating helped, but it's nowhere near back to normal."
Buffy nodded. "Tara said you were working to get your powers back. Is there anything else you can try?"
Willow shrugged. "Tara could help, but she has to wake up first," she said quietly, obviously worried. "What about Xander? Didn't you say he had some defensive ideas?"
Buffy grimaced. "He's been trading for weapons the whole time we've been here. Guns, grenades, missiles, stuff like that. Faith and Kennedy have some of the girls on the roof installing some of them. Xander's going to start teaching the girls to use them. Dawn's going to help him." The Slayer rolled her eyes. "Here's hoping her high score on 'Call of Duty' is actually worth something."
Willow actually laughed at that, smirking. "Still bitter about that, Buff?" she asked.
Buffy pushed her friend's shoulder gently, relieved to see her smile. "No," she denied unconvincingly. "It's just, I worked really hard to beat yours…" Her voice trailed off as Tara stirred on the bed, groaning. Willow's gaze shifted to her wife instantly, squeezing her hand gently.
Tara's free hand came up to cover her eyes. "Too bright," she groaned and Buffy jumped to turn the lights off. Tara brought her hand down slowly and Willow took it with her other hand, both feeling the surge of magic between them.
"Are you okay?" Willow asked anxiously, leaning over her. "You fainted when I touched you."
Tara nodded and moved to sit up but Willow quickly put a hand on her chest to stop her. "I'm fine, Willow," she breathed before she started coughing. As she finished Buffy handed her a glass of water and she smiled her thanks. She sat up slowly, Willow's hand moving to help support her. "What's going on?" Tara asked quietly, holding Willow's hand on her lap and reveling in the feel of magic flowing between them.
"Andrew thinks we might have a few more hours to prepare, maximum. He called your coven friends Will, and they said that they weren't on us yet, but they're close. He's going to try and make it look like we've still got some magic, try and buy us some time," Buffy said with a glance at the door. "Actually, Will can you fill her in? I need to go help. And I want to try the meditating thing if we have time. Can you guys meet back up with us in a little while?"
"Go, Buffy. I'll catch up once Tara is settled in here," Willow said, ignoring the disbelieving look Tara gave her. The Slayer nodded absently, already moving toward the door. Willow turned to look at Tara, arching an eyebrow. "And what is that look for, my love?"
Tara's eyes slipped closed and she leaned her head forward to rest against Willow's shoulder. "Oh God, not again. Tara, baby, wake up, please," the redhead pleaded, free hand shaking her wife's shoulder gently.
"I'm awake, Willow. It's okay. I'm just…not used to this anymore. It feels amazing," Tara's voice assured her.
"I know it does," Willow murmured aloud, her free hand sliding over Tara's shoulder to rest on the back of her neck. "Are you sure you're okay?" she asked, unable to squelch her worry.
"I'm okay, Will. I'm just a little weak…and the magic." She moaned. "God, it feels so good. Has it always felt this good?"
Willow smiled bitterly. "Be glad it doesn't feel better. That's how addictions are formed."
Tara's head shot up, concern on her face. "Willow, are you okay?" She suddenly noticed the tension in her beloved's face, the tremble in her fingers. "Sweetheart, talk to me…are you okay? What can I do?"
Willow reluctantly slipped her hand out of Tara's without saying anything. She met Tara's worried gaze with a plea for forgiveness in her own eyes. "I'm sorry, love. It's just too much, too fast."
Tara slapped a hand to her forehead. "Sweetie, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make it harder for you…Will, I'm sorry."
Willow shook her head, touching Tara's face soothingly and pulling her wife's hand down from her face. "Tara, no, it's not you. It's not your fault. I just…we've gone without it and now it's back and it does feel good. I just don't want it to feel too good, you know?"
Tara leaned against her lover's hand, turning her head to press a kiss against her wife's palm. "You can do this, baby. I know you can."
Willow took a deep breath. "I just don't want to push too hard, too fast. It feels so good," she said quietly, looking Tara in the eyes.
Tara nodded. "I feel it too, love." Her hand reached out to touch Willow's hand out of habit and both of them had to close their eyes at the surge of magic that jolted between them. "Oh God," Tara whimpered, jerking her hand back. "It's always been the best when it's with you," she breathed, eyes still closed.
Willow smirked, taking the opportunity to distract them both. "Well, thank you. You too, my love." Tara's eyes blinked open and she laughed quietly at the expression on her wife's face. The smirk dropped from Willow's face as the laughter triggered Tara's coughing.
Tara looked up as she got her breath back. "I'm okay baby, I swear. We need to do something to ease ourselves into the magic. We've got the connection, but can you do any spells?"
Willow pursed her lips, dissatisfied with the subject change and still worried about Tara's health. She murmured their tinkerbell spell, but only a dim flash appeared above her fingers.
"That's what I thought," Tara murmured, frowning thoughtfully. "But the connection is getting stronger."
"Not fast enough," Willow said regretfully.
"But there's a kind of surge when we touch. Maybe we can get something together?" Tara suggested, holding out one hand slowly. "If you're up for it?"
Willow studied her carefully before she nodded and put her hand in Tara's. They murmured the tinkerbell spell and the light appeared steadily over their joined hands. It was weak, but it was there. However, as soon as they took their hands apart, the light vanished.
Willow cursed, jumping to her feet to pace anxiously. "We don't have time for this," she complained. "We might could do something with more time, but we don't have it." Her attention was back on Tara in a heartbeat as the blonde fell backwards onto her back on the bed suddenly. Willow was beside her in a second, worried. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"
Her words were cut off as Tara took her hand soothingly, her eyes dropping closed as she felt Tara's magic, diminished as it was, flowing into her. Willow's eyes shot open after a moment and she snatched her hand back as Tara's labored breathing penetrated the hazy feeling her returning magic was causing.
"What do you think you're doing? Stop that!" Willow chided, leaning over to look Tara carefully in the face. The blonde witch had both eyes closed and was pale and panting for breath. "Tara, you shouldn't have done that."
"Did it help?" Tara asked quietly, her voice weak.
Willow sighed, and reluctantly responded, "Yes, it did, but that doesn't mean you should have done it." She could feel Tara's magic strengthening and stabilizing her own power.
Tara's eyes stayed closed, but a smile came to her face. "I'd almost forgotten how powerful you are, baby." She groaned tiredly as her effort left her weaker than she'd been.
"Okay, that's it!" Willow said, frustrated. "Into bed with you. I said this morning that you weren't getting out of this bed and I mean to enforce it. Twilight himself isn't getting you out of this bed again."
Tara's eyes opened slowly and she blinked up at Willow blearily. "Willow, you're crazy if you think you're going anywhere or doing anything without me. I'm not letting you out of my sight." She tapped her forehead. "And now I can find you if you try and leave me," she reminded her wife. She smiled weakly, looking around her. "And I'm already in bed, baby."
Willow scowled. "You're feverish and weak, Tara. You're going to get worse if you keep going like this."
Tara shook her head slowly, her eyes sliding closed again. "Doesn't matter. You're the big gun, Willow. We won't make it out of here alive without you. Buffy and the others are going to need you."
Willow blinked, surprised. "So what if I am the big gun? I won't let you get worse because you were wearing yourself out trying to help me."
One of Tara's eyes opened to find Willow. "We need you, Willow. All of those girls out there, Satsu, Kennedy, Faith, Buffy, Giles, Xander, Dawnie, Bay, Oz, little Kelden, they'll all die without you."
Willow shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. "Tara, no. I can't…there's no way…I can't beat Twilight. I'm not strong enough."
Tara's other eye opened and she rested her hand over Willow's on the bed. "You can be," she said simply. "Meditate with me. We'll do it together. Slowly."
Willow paused, trying to think of an objection that Tara would actually accept. She finally sighed. "Fine, but only for a little while. You need to rest, sweetheart."
She sat herself on the bed and was surprised when Tara sat up on the bed, pushing herself wearily to her feet. Willow just stared after her as the blonde walked slowly toward the door. "Where do you think you're going?" she asked, stunned.
"Outside. The contact with the earth will make the whole thing easier," Tara said, her voice surprised, as if it should have been obvious.
Willow was in front of her in a flash, both hands on Tara's shoulders to stop her. "I don't think so!" Tara just took both hands and pulled them down, siphoning more of her power into Willow with the contact and causing Willow to pull back from her. "Stop that!" she protested.
"Come outside and meditate with me, and I will," Tara bargained, holding out one hand and waiting. Willow just eyed her for a long moment, mentally cursing her wife's stubborn streak. Tara smiled gently, her free hand coming up to rest on the wall, supporting herself. "I can hear you. You know that, right?"
Willow stomped her foot, scowling. "Good! You're everything I said." Her expression softened. "But you're also brilliant, and brave, and completely amazing." She took Tara's hand with a sigh. "We'll go out for a little while and then you're going back to bed. I'm worried about you." She looked up at Tara as she slipped herself under the other woman's arm, coaxing her wife to lean on her.
They had to clear another spot in the snow and Willow reluctantly let Tara sit down before she sat down in front of her, joining their hands in between them. They didn't move for several hours, the snow falling heavily around them while they concentrated on reaching their banished power, the afternoon sun unseen behind the heavy clouds.
When Willow opened her eyes again, she could feel the magic surging through her, the sensation making her giddy. It wasn't as much as she had been used to, but it was so much better than nothing. She quickly came down from her euphoria as her eyes fell on Tara. The blonde witch was shivering and her lips were blue, skin pale, with sweat pouring down her face and freezing in her hair. Despite that, she was keeping a firm grip on Willow's hands, concentrating on sending everything she could into the other witch.
Willow quickly forced Tara's hands off of hers as she realized what her wife had been doing, the blonde collapsing back into the snow as soon as the contact was lost. Tara groaned as she came out of her intense meditation, looking up to meet her wife's furious gaze. "Willow? Where are we?" Tara asked weakly, her body trembling in the snow as her teeth started chattering loudly.
Willow put her anger on hold as she knelt in the snow and gingerly lifted the other woman into her arms, surprised and distressed by how easy it was to carry her. She returned to their room quickly, only stopping to pull Tara's boots off before pulling the covers up over the shaking witch. She sat down on the edge of the bed and started rubbing Tara's hands quickly between her own, using the friction to warm the icy digits.
As Tara's shaking eased, Willow's overwhelming worry and fear was interrupted by her anger at Tara for being so foolish. She stood up, pacing furiously next to the bed. Tara was watching her from the bed, feeling the sharp tingles in her hands and feet as blood started flowing through them again.
"How could you do that, Tara? You were sending me everything you got!" She kept pacing, her eyes darting around the room. She stomped her foot, finally meeting her wife's eyes. "If we'd stayed out there much longer you could have died!"
Tara just stared at her, finally speaking softly. "I would. If it will save you, I'll go back out there and fight those goddesses all night, send it all to you."
Willow blinked furiously, tears spilling from her eyes. "You will not die for me," she gritted out through clenched teeth. Tara didn't speak, just watching her and Willow took a deep, shuddering breath. "Tara Maclay, you're not going to die again."
Tara coughed, feeling the ice melting in her hair. "I guess you'd better do something about that then, shouldn't you?"
Willow moved in a rush to the bed, collapsing to her knees next to it, her head dropping to rest against the mattress. "Tara," she groaned loudly, feeling the recovered magic inside of her calling to her. Her traitorous mind was suggesting spells, powerful spells, urging her to cast, to do something. She could feel the desire to dominate the situation they were in rising up her spine. She could hear Tara moving slowly in the bed but didn't move, struggling to control herself. The stark reality that Tara's statement had driven home, the possibility that she could lose Tara again, was making her restraint waver.
A shiver rushed down her spine as she felt Tara's hands slip into her hair, her lover's mouth pressing kisses across the back of her head, her voice quietly murmuring. Willow forced herself to concentrate, listening to Tara's words to keep herself from casting anything.
"Willow, you can do this. You're stronger than this. I'm so sorry I made you angry. I never wanted to push you like this, but you can do it. You have to do it. I'll do anything I have to for you. I love you so much. I need you, Willow. Please, focus, for me. I know you can do this. Tell me what I can do to help you. I'll give you everything I have, my heart, my love, my magic, my life, anything you need. It's all yours, it's always been yours."
Tara's quiet words stopped as one of Willow's hands came up to grab one of hers tightly. Willow looked up at her and Tara met her gaze solidly. "I won't lose you," Willow breathed.
Tara shook her head minutely. "You never could. That's not what this is about though. This is about saving our friends, keeping them safe."
Willow groaned, her head dropping back down. "This is all my fault. I brought us here. Now we're trapped in the mountains with no power and our enemies are coming for us."
Tara frowned, gently forcing her wife's head up with a hand. "Will, no one was forced to do anything. Everyone had a choice to stay here. Nothing about this is your fault." She smiled cautiously. "Buffy even offered us an out. Do you wish we had taken it?"
Willow shook her head, blinking. "No, I don't."
"Then there's nothing to do but try and get as many of us out of this as we can. And you're our best shot at that. That's why I did what I did." She looked at Willow firmly even as her hands trembled from exhaustion and weakness.
Willow sat up on her knees, leaning over Tara with a frown on her face as she pressed her free hand against Tara's forehead. Her mouth dropped open in shock as she felt the extreme heat. "You're burning up!" she exclaimed loudly. "Tara!" She quickly forced the thermometer into the blonde's mouth before rushing to get a wet cloth from the bathroom. She draped the cool fabric over Tara's forehead and the witch groaned at the change in temperature. The thermometer beeped and Tara winced as Willow glared at her. "105? You could have seizures with a fever this high. You should be at a hospital!"
Tara coughed weakly. "Not a likely possibility, love," she commented, recoiling slightly from Willow's renewed wrath. She couldn't stop a smile as she noticed the bedside lamp start floating up off the nightstand. "Um, Will," she said, pointing to get the angry witch's attention. Willow blinked in surprise and the lamp landed softly. "You're doing so good, baby," Tara complemented her.
Willow ignored the peacemaking attempt. "How could I have let you go out when you're sick like this?" she asked herself rhetorically, shaking several pills out of a bottle and holding them out to Tara.
She took them in one hand, hesitating before she took them. "These aren't going to make me sleep, are they?"
Willow arched an eyebrow. "You had better believe they are. And Tara Maclay, you're not going to argue with me about this. You have to sleep. Baby, you're exhausted and your fever is way too high. Your magical stunt didn't help anything either." Her arms were crossed over her chest, the resolve face falling over her expression.
Tara still hesitated to take the medicine. "Willow, I can help you. I can give you more."
Willow dropped suddenly to sit on the edge of the bed, looking seriously at Tara. "Tara, I'm not going to let you kill yourself for this." They stared at each other for a long moment before her expression abruptly crumbled and she broke down into tears. "You have to get better, Tara. I can't lose you. There's nothing left of me without you. Everybody thinks I'm so strong, even Buffy, and they depend on me so much and they're the most powerful women in the world and I'm just me, just little geeky Willow Rosenberg, but they trust me to get it done, to be strong for everyone, but it's all you, baby. You make me strong…you're the…"
Tara blinked in surprise at the panicked outburst, immediately swallowing the pills dry and pulling Willow down into her arms. "Shh, shh, I'm sorry. Baby I'm so sorry," she breathed soothing words into Willow's hair, her lover's face pressed tightly into her shirt. "Please forgive me, Willow. I love you. I'm so sorry. Please baby, please forgive me. I just want to help you. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to die, sweetie." In between words she pressed frantic kisses over her wife's hair, ears, neck, face, anything she could reach. She could feel Willow's tears soaking into her shirt and she struggled to keep her eyes open as the medicine started affecting her, her exhaustion relentlessly dragging her toward sleep. "Willow…" she struggled to speak. "I love you."
The exhausted witch finally couldn't fight against it any more and her eyes dropped closed, one hand still moving slowly through her lover's hair. Willow felt Tara's breathing steady and slow and she lifted her head to look down at her. The blonde witch was pale, the ice melting in her hair sending streams of cool water down the back of her neck. Willow pressed a kiss to her sleeping wife's mouth before she climbed out of bed and went to the bathroom to douse the washcloth in cold water again to try and bring down the dangerous fever.
With a heavy sigh, she turned to rejoin Buffy and the slayers, checking to make sure Tara's walkie was still on the nightstand where she'd left it this morning in case the exhausted witch somehow woke up before she could get back. Everything seemed in order so Willow left, shutting the door behind her quietly.
Xander and Dawn were giving the girls a rushed lecture on handling guns, but Buffy noticed when Willow came in and stood up to meet her, intercepting her before she could come too far into the room. She could see the worry and fear on her friend's face, and as she got close she noticed the tear tracks.
"Will, how's Tara?" she asked quietly, suddenly scared.
Willow blinked tiredly, shaking her head. "She almost killed herself out there."
Buffy's jaw dropped and she grabbed Willow's arm, pulling her into the hallway. "What? Almost, though right? She's not…"
The witch shook her head. "No, she's not dead. I don't really know how she's not dead, but she's not."
"What happened?"
"She…we…she convinced me to let her go outside and meditate with me, try and get more of our powers back. But she…I wasn't paying attention, I didn't notice…we were out there for hours and the whole time she was giving me everything she got." Her voice trailed off and she blinked, her eyes refocusing on Buffy. "Much longer and she could have died."
"How is she?" the Slayer asked, concerned. "And how are you?"
Willow groaned. "Her fever is at 105, Buffy."
"Oh God. I know that can't be good, can it?"
The witch shook her head. "If it goes up much more she could still die," Willow said, almost inaudibly, her eyes drifting back down the hall to where her wife slept. Buffy pulled her friend into a tight hug without speaking and Willow broke down in her arms, crying against her shoulder.
It was several minutes before Willow regained her composure, pulling out of the hug and wiping her tears away. Buffy kept a hand on her friend's shoulder, looking her carefully in the eyes. "She's not going to die, Willow. I'm assuming since you left her that she's asleep?"
The redhead nodded. "I gave her medicine to make her sleep. I just hope it brings her fever down too." She scowled. "How could I have been stupid enough to let her go outside?" she demanded, still angry at herself for that.
Buffy frowned. "How did she convince you to let her do that anyway?"
"I said I would meditate with her, but she wanted to do it outside so we'd get a better connection to the earth, but of course I said no because, hello, blizzard! But she blackmailed me!"
"How'd she do that?"
Willow glanced guiltily around the hallway, avoiding Buffy's eyes. "I was a little…buzzed from getting the connection back, but I didn't want to go too far too fast with my control so I asked her if we could slow our practice down some, but she kept slipping me bits of her magic whenever I would touch her and she said she wouldn't stop unless I let her go outside and meditate."
Buffy frowned thoughtfully. "I'm glad you were staying aware of your limits, but what does slipping you her power do for you?"
Willow bit her lip, trying to think of a way to explain the incredible feeling of combining her magic with Tara's and how it made her feel. Finally she took a deep breath. "Okay, remember, of course, when I was crazy, and you ran off to save Jonathan and Andrew and left me in the Magic Box fighting Giles?" Buffy nodded silently, her arms crossed over her chest. "Well, he sort of dosed me…with magic. I was so far into the dark magic that when I stole the magic from him, the magic he had borrowed from the coven, it introduced an aspect of humanity back into me. That helped me stop when Xander confronted me. It made me feel something other than my grief."
She met Buffy's gaze. "Tara's magic is like that. When we're casting together, or focus through the connection, her power helps me stay grounded, keeps me from getting out of control. It lets me feel her, everything that I love about her. The magic…having it back, it feels incredible, Buffy. I was scared to go too fast so she sent some of her own magic into me to help ground me, help me feel my humanity."
The Slayer nodded solemnly. "But it's bad for her?"
Willow shook her head. "Not normally. But she's so weak right now. And she was going to keep wearing herself out doing it if I didn't let her go outside."
"But you've got the connection back, right? Can't you send it back to her or something?" Buffy asked, trying to understand.
Willow sighed heavily. "That's the part of the story where she almost killed herself. When we were outside meditating, she gave me everything she was getting. I don't know how she did it without me noticing, or getting overwhelmed, but she did it, and for better or worse it's done." Her eyes slid closed. "I'm back, Buffy." She heard her friend's gasp and opened her eyes to look at her. "I'm nowhere near full strength, but I'm not powerless either." She smirked. "Call it freshman year of college strength and growing."
Buffy smiled, nodding. "Hey, freshman year we beat Adam…that's not nothing."
Willow nodded back. "But it's not awakening the slayers worldwide strength either."
"Well, this morning we didn't have either," Buffy said reasonably. "What do you need from me?"
Willow arched an eyebrow. "Shouldn't I be asking you that question?"
