"No cavities! Would you like to set up her next check-up for six months from now today?"

Emily glanced away from Maddie's curious eyes and put her phone in her purse. She stood and smiled at the receptionist. "No, thank you. We're in the process of switching her insurance."

And they were. Derek went to work with the paperwork just the day before so they could put Maddie and Devon on his insurance and they could stop making the trek to Maryland for the state health care provided to foster children.

Emily's head and heart felt like they were going to burst. Rose had just uttered a life altering sentence to her on the phone barely a minute before, Maddie was staring at her like she knew something was up, Derek was in Hawaii, where it was still the middle of the night, and she was casually talking about health insurance to a very cheerful receptionist at a dentist office in Maryland.

Maddie stayed quiet on their walk to the car, but when they started driving, she narrowed her eyes on Emily. "What's going on?"

Emily was torn and she went back to that place where she had to actively control her trembling; her nerves felt like they were on fire. This was her decision to make with Derek. Yet, she felt Maddie should be informed and be allowed to voice her opinion even if the decision didn't fall on her shoulders. Besides that, whatever they chose, Maddie would eventually know. "Ella's foster parents have relinquished her," she said neutrally.

Silence reigned in the car for several long seconds. "Oh," said Maddie quietly. "Because they didn't want her to see Devon? I heard you and Derek talking."

Emily nodded. "Yes, I think that's part of it. I don't know the whole story yet."

"It seems like if you're a foster parent and you say you want to adopt a kid, you shouldn't just get to hand a kid back and change your mind. Where are your parents?"

Emily blinked, surprised by the question and not quite sure where Maddie was going in her mind. "My dad died many years ago. My mom actually lives pretty close to our house, but she...is a difficult person. She's not like Fran."

"Does she know about me?" asked Maddie.

She chose her response carefully. "She does, you and Devon. The news about you surprised her and I think it's going to take her some time to get used to the idea." Emily sighed. Explaining Elizabeth Prentiss to anyone was hard, explaining her to Maddie was near impossible. "She has a hard time being warm and open to new ideas, that's all," was what she finally settled on.

Emily braced herself for further questions about her mom, all the while watching the mile markers on the road in the blissfully light traffic, counting the minutes until she could drop Maddie at school and call Rose back.

"I was asking about your mom because I want to know what happens to me and Devon if something happened to you and Derek. I didn't know if she was sick like my grandma was when my parents died."

Emily didn't say, "Nothing's going to happen to us," even though that was her gut reaction. Maddie knew too well that horrible, random accidents could happen. She reached her hand out and held onto Maddie's. Smiling slightly, she said, "I think if something were to happen to me and Derek, Fran and Penelope would probably fight over who got to take both of you."

Maddie smiled slightly back, but then shook her head. "My parents had friends, too. Some of them came to visit me when I was in the hospital after the accident. But no one volunteered to take me."

Tears filled Emily's eyes and she let them fall instead of blinking them back. Her poor daughter had lived with so much rejection and confusion and sadness the past couple of years. "I promise you, Maddie, that Fran and our friends would not let you and Devon go back into the foster care system. I promise you."

She could feel Maddie staring at her and finally saw the little girl nod out of the corner of her eye. "And you think that will still be true with Ella, too?"

Ah, thought Emily. The timing of this conversation suddenly makes perfect sense. "Yes I think it would be true even if Ella comes to live with us. Once your adoptions are finalized, we'll write a will so you won't ever have to worry about this again."

Emily made the turn into the school's parking lot and pulled into a space. She turned to look at Maddie, whose eyes were wide. "What do you mean if you take Ella?" she asked surprised.

"I don't know the whole story yet, Maddie, and it's a big decision that Derek and I need to talk about."

Maddie narrowed her eyes, and shook her head. "Mom," she said.

Emily was suddenly transported back in time when she was in the ambulance after Doyle stabbed her and the EMTs were shocking her heart back into beating. Just that one simple word from Maddie, delivered suddenly and naturally for the first time, addressing her directly instead of introducing her to someone else, made Emily feel like her heart had just got hit with the paddles again.

"Mom," Maddie said again, this time smiling slightly at the word coming from her mouth. "You and Derek...Dad...have to take her. Devon and his sister need to be together. If anyone can get her to stop crying so much and be happy, it's you two and Nana and your friends. I know from personal experience."

Emily laughed lightly at that and squeezed Maddie's hand again. Maybe it was just that simple. Having Ella wouldn't be easy and it scared the ever loving crap out of her, but not taking her would be worse. Emily knew in that moment that she couldn't live with that idea, and she knew Derek would feel the same way.

"Let me talk to Rose, OK? And Derek. Don't say anything just yet to Devon if you see him at school today."

Maddie nodded. "OK." She took off her seat belt and moved her legs to kneel on her seat, reaching over the middle console to give Emily a hug. "I love you," she whispered in Emily's ear.

Emily laughed quietly in joy and squeezed Maddie to her. "I love you, too, Maddie the Magnificent."

Maddie kissed Emily's cheek and moved in her seat, opening her door and grabbing her backpack and gym bag from the back seat. "Besides, basketball season will be over soon and then I can be home in the afternoons more to help," she said lightly. "But no diapers. I had a change a diaper once in one of my temporary placements and it was disgusting!"


The trembling started again once Emily returned to the car after signing Maddie in at school. She dialed Rose.

"Emily," Rose sighed. In the background she could hear the unmistakable sound of Ella's crying.

"I'm sorry. I had Maddie with me at the dentist when you called. Tell me what happened."

Emily listened. Lynn and Grant had first mentioned giving Ella up the previous week. It wasn't just about Ella seeing Devon; it was worse than that. Emily knew from talking to Derek that skin pigment biracial children was a matter of time and sunlight to produce melanin, the final skin tone taking up to two years to settle. Their December weather had been brutal, but January and much of February had been mild. Ella was getting older and was outside more, and her skin tone now nearly matched Derek's.

Though Rose didn't outright say that Lynn and Grant no longer wanted Ella because of that, she hinted around it enough to make Emily want to drive back to Baltimore and scream at them.

"You have her now?" Emily asked after a calming breath.

"Yes. As of about an hour ago. I have all of her things, except the crib. That was a family heirloom and they didn't want to give it up."

Emily shook her head in disgust towards the people who could so easily give up a baby because of fear, and probably prejudice, or at least a fear of prejudice. But they had to hang onto a crib for sentimental reasons. Assholes.

"Derek's in Hawaii on a case. It's only four o'clock in the morning there. I need to talk to him." Emily responded.

Rose hesitated on the phone. "I can try and get her an emergency placement for today and tonight."

Horrors filled Emily's head at those words, at the potential of some harm coming to that little baby, some emergency foster parent who couldn't handle all of the crying. This really wasn't a decision she felt would be any huge discussion between her and Derek; she knew what he would say.

"Don't do that yet, please. I can't just tell you to bring her to our house without talking to him, though. Give me fifteen minutes."

Emily disconnected the call and dialed Derek's number. He groggily answered on the second ring. "Em?"

Words stuck in her mouth at the sound of his voice. She laughed nervously and what came out was, "Did you turn in those insurance forms before you left for the case yesterday?"

"No," he said anxiously. "Why? Did something happen to one of the kids?"

"No," she said softly. "They're great. You just might want to hold off until you can add Ella's to the mix and take care of it all at once."

Silence greeted that sentence, and then Derek's thick, emotional voice responded. "Lynn and Grant gave her up?"

"Yes."

"Are...are you sure Emily?"

She hesitated. Was she sure? "I'm terrified, but I'm sure it's what we need to do," she said softly. She listened to Derek try to catch his breath, could tell he was crying. "Why are you crying?" she whispered.

"Because we're so happy and good now and I'm terrified, too. But I want her, Emily. I do."

"I love you. We can do this. Our ten year old assured me that that was the case," she said with a laugh.

Derek managed a small laugh over the line. "I love you, too. I'm on the next flight out. We're going to need help at first. I'll call my mom."

Emily called Rose back and told her to bring Ella to their house and Rose said she'd be there at noon. With butterflies pounding around in her stomach, Emily drove to a baby store and went to look at cribs. Somewhere between her debate between a white crib and a maple one, when she was thinking about where they were going to put Ella and she determined they could not make Maddie give up her room or share it, after she watched mother after mother walk around with babies, Emily's nerves got the best of her. Her slight trembling increased to full-blown shaking.

Staring at the cribs, she sank into one of the rocking chairs and pulled out her phone.

JJ answered with a sarcastic, but cheerful, "It figures that the very first and probably only time the team actually takes a case in Hawaii, I'm stuck home on maternity leave. I'm drowning my bitterness in a bowl of ice cream for breakfast. Want to join me?"

"Jayje," Emily managed to whisper.

"What's wrong?"

"We're taking Ella."

"Oh my God. When?"

"In about two hours."

"Holy shit, Emily. Why are you whispering?"

"Because I'm in the middle of some baby super store staring at cribs and sitting in a rocking chair and I'm scared to death."

"Emily, what store are you at?"


She was sure she was a sight in that baby store, immobilized in a rocking chair for well over thirty minutes, thinking about Ella. After she'd given birth to Maddie and went to the Ohio field office for about a year, she'd thrown herself into helping out the front office person there with her new baby. But that had been completely about desensitizing herself to all things concerning babies. She wasn't trying to bond, she wasn't trying to love, she was trying to numb her heart into feeling nothing when she was around infants. That feeling had remained, even when Henry was born. She could be happy for JJ and Will, she even held Henry a couple of times, but she was pleased that that numb part of her heart remained intact.

All she could think about now was that she was going to have to crack open that place inside her, and she was going to have to do it while Maddie watched her. She wouldn't back down from the decision to take Ella, but she hadn't contemplated that issue until the moment she saw the cribs.

She was startled from her thoughts when JJ's voice said, "You know, this is a hell of a way to steal my brand-new baby thunder."

Emily looked up and saw JJ standing there, one hand on her stomach that looked about ready to burst, and a kind smile on her face. She reached out her hand to Emily and tugged, pulling Emily to her feet. "Let's get you a crib, Em. I recommend this brand," JJ said, pointing to a crib.

"Why?"

"Because we sold Henry's old crib after Afghanistan, when I put a halt to any more talk about another baby, so we had to buy a new one this time around. We just put it together a couple weeks ago, and Will's going to meet us at your house on his lunch break to help put this one together for you and Derek."

Emily slowly turned her head to look at JJ. "He is?"

JJ smiled at the look of surprised on Emily's face. "Of course he is, Emily."

They left the store shortly after with a crib and mattress and a baby sling at JJ's urging. "That baby just needs to be held, and you're going to need your hands free with two other kids," she'd said.

Time seemed to speed up after that. Will showed up in his police uniform with a smile and a gentle squeeze on Emily's shoulder. He helped Emily carry the box containing the crib up to the master bedroom. "Just point me in the direction of the screw drivers," he said with a smile.

"Will…" Emily replied, wanting to thank him, wanting to apologize again, but he interrupted her.

"Emily, when JJ and I first started going to therapy last year, all I kept thinking about was how you saved my life. You did that for her and that was after whatever happened in Madrid. And I made the decision to let it go. I have a better understanding of what she was going through back then and I can't even imagine what you were going through. It's the past, though. This is the present. You're my friend, you have two beautiful children and a baby who's going to be here in about an hour. So let me get this crib put together, okay?"

It was delivered with such tenderness that Emily teared up. She nodded at him. "Okay."

Derek called and said he was getting on a seven o'clock flight out of Honolulu that arrived in LA at about four o'clock pm pacific time. There was one five-thirty flight that would put him at Dulles around two-o'clock in the morning local time, but it was full. Penelope was working on it, and he promised Emily that somehow he'd get on that plane. His mom was on her way to the airport in Chicago, trying to grab any standby flight she could get on.

Will finished putting together the crib and came downstairs. "Are you going to stay until Derek or Fran get here?" he asked JJ.

JJ nodded.

"Good. I'll take off early today and get Henry." He bent over and placed his head near JJ's stomach. "You stay put in there for today. Your mama's best friend needs her."

Emily grinned softly at that.

Rose arrived shortly after Will left, and Ella was actually sleeping in her little infant carrier. They unloaded her things from the car, put away bottles and enough formula to last for a couple of weeks. Ella came with a lot of gear including an infant swing that Rose said she seemed to like. Rose explained about Ella's seizure medication, and about how she was on a strict eating regime of every two to three hours around the clock since they were trying to get her to put on some weight.

"I'm starting to think my picker is broken. I've been doing this for nearly two decades, and I've had one difficult older child with attachment issues be relinquished by his pre-adoptive parents, but that's it. Now I have Maddie and Ella," she said.

Emily was staring at a sleeping Ella all snug in her seat. "But you also have us. We're both too stubborn to give up."

Rose laughed. "I was thinking on the way over here that maybe things are working out how they were supposed to."


Rose left to pick up Devon from school and bring him home. No sooner had the front door closed after Rose left did Ella wake up and start crying. Emily bent to undo the buckles on her car seat and lift her, trying to ignore her shaking legs and hammering heart.

She sat on the couch and tried to get herself calm while cradling Ella. JJ handed her a bottle. Emily must have looked petrified; she knew she felt that way. While Ella squirmed in her arms and cried and seemed to fight the bottle she clearly wanted, taking a gulping sip and then arching her back and screaming, Emily had a desperate feeling like she'd gotten in way over her head.

She saw JJ's hands before she felt Ella gently removed from her arms and take the bottle. She looked up at JJ's sympathetic face.

"Lose the shirt, Em," JJ said softly. "Just wear your tank top. Trust me.

Confused, Emily pulled her sweater up and over her head.

JJ nodded. "Now lean back a bit on the couch so you're slightly reclined."

When Emily moved, JJ stepped towards her again. "Take a deep breath and relax. Try and slow that racing heart of yours a bit."

Emily inhaled and exhaled a few times and tried to calm herself, and then she felt JJ place Ella on her body, her soft baby cheek resting against Emily's chest. JJ handed Emily the bottle. She had to move her arm to a slightly awkward angle, but she put the bottle in Ella's mouth and the crying and squirming stopped. JJ was rubbing Ella's back gently, but Emily moved her free hand to take over that task.

JJ smiled at her and sat down. "When I first went back to work, I was so stressed out trying to balance time with Henry and work that I was a bundle of nerves. Babies pick up on those things. He would fuss while I fed him. He wouldn't breastfeed anymore once he started talking the bottle, which made me sadder and even more stressed out. I finally started taking him to a darker room and feeding him just like that, and learned to relax my body and let everything else go. They like to feel your skin. And being upright a bit might help her be more comfortable while she drinks."

Emily barely heard JJ. All she could focus on was how Ella's body had relaxed against her, how her soft baby cheek felt as it pulled on the bottle and moved against Emily's skin, just over her heart, how her little fists were opening and closing against her chest, trying to find purchase and then finally latching on to bits of her tank top.

How she was holding Ella and Ella wasn't crying.

Something inside Emily broke open and the tears started. She didn't gasp or shudder when she cried, but the tears dripped silently down her face; what seemed like a river of them. She felt JJ's hand brushing them away and heard her whisper, "You deserve this chance Em, more than anyone. You're going to be fantastic."


Derek wasn't sure how Penelope had managed it, and wouldn't be surprised if she'd hacked the computer system and some poor schlep was wondering how the hell he no longer had a seat on a flight he booked, but when he got to LAX to inquire about a standby seat on the five-thirty flight to Dulles, he was told he was already on and the attendant printed him a boarding pass.

He called Emily before the flight took off and told her he was on his way. She assured him everything was fine, that JJ was there. His mom hadn't had the same luck getting on a flight in Chicago, he learned. She'd spent the day at the airport, one unsuccessful attempt at getting on a standby flight after another, but had finally secured a seat on an eight o'clock flight. JJ would pick her up from the airport.

Emily cried on the phone when she told him about that first bottle and again when she described Devon's reaction when he got home from school and found Ella there. How their little boy hadn't left Emily and Ella's side all day, how he kept asking if it was really true and if it was forever. How Maddie had calmly attempted to hold Ella when she got home from basketball practice, and Ella had laid in Maddie's arms staring at her without crying for several minutes. How Maddie had then helped JJ make dinner and that she seemed okay; she seemed happy. Ella was fussy, but nothing like Emily expected. She liked the sling JJ had suggested they get; she seemed to do best when she was right against Emily and upright. Derek had welled up on the phone and wished he could transport his body right into their home.

Never in his life had five and a half hours seemed so long. Sleep was entirely out of the question. His knees bounced, driving the passenger next to him absolutely nuts. But when he explained why he was so nervous and excited, the woman became completely understanding. She stayed awake and distracted him from his nervous energy by asking him about his family and looking at pictures on his phone, by talking about her own kids when they were infants.

It was the middle of the night when he landed and he got a taxi right away. The roads were empty and he arrived at his darkened home before three o'clock in the morning. He unlocked the door and discovered a soft light in the living room that was littered with a baby swing and bouncy seat, a blanket with baby toys on it.

He wanted to run up the stairs, but settled for quiet, slow steps so he didn't wake anyone up. What he saw when he walked into the master bedroom took his breath away. Emily, with her hair pulled back and Ella drinking from a bottle while she was comfortably nestled against Emily's chest, his mom asleep next to Emily on the bed.

Emily smiled at him when she saw him and he saw her eyes fill with tears in the dim light cast into the room from the hallway. "She didn't want to be all the way down in the basement in case I needed her," Emily whispered.

At the sound of Emily's voice, Fran woke up. She, too, smiled when she saw Derek and stood from the bed. With a gentle pat on Emily's hand, a light rub on Ella's head and a quick hug for Derek, she departed the room and descended the stairs.

Derek sat on the bed and scooted his body closer to Emily's, putting one arm around her and his hand on Ella's back. Emily turned her head and kissed him softly, then bent forward and kissed Ella lightly on her head. "Your daddy's here," she whispered.