BELLA'S POV
Jacob was kissing me. He's really kissing me. The suddenness of his attack paralyzed me that I didn't know what to do. Shock flowed through my veins but at the same time, I felt empty, dirty. Where was the joy you were supposed to feel when you kiss the one you love? Why instead of joy, I felt dirty, like cheating on your boyfriend or something? I couldn't feel anything but just how wretched I am. Yet, Jacob never stopped and I could feel him smile as his lips moved around mine. Mine never moved but just stayed paralyzed. I didn't understand it one bit and then, my vision blurred and I was brought back to that dream I had.
I was again at the fork in the aisle and I had to choose. I understood everything at the instant, the ring and the heart. Both were given to me by the two guys waiting for me at each end, Jacob and Edward. But the heart soon vanished and the clear path – the one that I should choose – was right in front of my eyes. Why didn't I understand this sooner? There had always been only one path. And then, another revelation came. There wasn't a choice even from the beginning. I didn't have to choose as there was only one person I couldn't possibly be without. The answer was as clear as day but I was so blinded that I couldn't see it. Just like what my mother had said, the answer was right in front of my eyes.
The answer all along had been Edward. There was no one else. I had loved him ever since I saw him that day in the parking lot and he too loved me. That was why I saw love in his eyes. That was why I always felt safe around him. Why I always wanted to be with him. Why I get depressed when he wasn't around. Why I cried my heart out when I yelled at him and hurt him so badly. It was so simple. Why didn't I see it?
I was so blinded, blinded by Jacob. I was never in love with him, I was infatuated. I loved Jacob but I wasn't in love with him. I loved him like an older brother. The reason why I was always excited to see him was because I was all alone. He was like my very own comfort zone and the more time I spent with him, I loved him more and more to the point that I thought I was in love with him. But I was wrong, dead wrong.
I want Edward and only Edward, no one else could ever take over the place he has in my heart. No one can make me smile like him can. No one can make me laugh like he can. No one can love me the way he can. He's the one, the one I want to spend an eternity and beyond with.
Hot tears started to flow down my cheeks at the realization. Why had I been so blind? Why didn't I realize it sooner? I hurt him. I hurt him so bad. Can he ever forgive me? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so so so sorry…
Jacob immediately pulled away from me when he felt my tears. I pushed him back a little and sat an arms length away from him. I touched my lips again and yet again, I felt nothing. I just felt like a dirty little bitch.
"Bella?" Jacob tried to close the distance between us but I moved further away from him. I didn't understand why but I was afraid. So bloody afraid of my best friend right now.
"Why are you running away from me?"
"I'm afraid, Jacob. I'm so afraid of you right now. I don't know why but I'm afraid."
"Don't be. Bella, I won't ever hurt you. I love you Bella. I love you. I won't ever hurt you."
"Jacob, you're drunk. You don't know what you're saying."
Jacob stood up and walked up to me. I was still on the floor, my feet unable to move at all. I was defenseless right now. I couldn't move. He came and knelt down in front of me and placed his hands on my shoulders. I looked away. "Bella, I'm not drunk. Bella, look at me. Look into my eyes!"
I slowly turned my head to stare at him. His eyes, they were burning with passion. He wasn't drunk. "Then, w-w-why did you say you love me?" I managed to stutter out. The fear was slowly dissipating but I still felt pain – pain from kissing him.
He took my face in his hands and stared at me. "Isabella Swan, I'm in love with you. I always have. I get jealous all the time when I see you with Cullen. I want to protect you all the time and I want to be with you all the time. I've never realized this as I was too infatuated with Leah. It blinded me Bells. But I've opened my eyes and I can see now. I love you Bella Swan and I want to be with you."
I didn't know what to say. This was what I've wanted to hear all my life. It is to hear the one I love confess to me, tell me that he loves me too. Except this time, it was from the wrong person. We sat there in utter silence for a good five minutes before Jacob spoke again, "So, if it's possible. Can we start all over again? But not as friends this time?"
He was asking me to be his girlfriend. It was from the wrong set of lips. It wasn't him I wanted to be with anymore, it never had been. Jacob took my silence as consent and went to hug me but I pushed him away.
"Jake… I-I-I-I'm sorry. B-b-but it's not you I want to be with. I love you but I'm not in love with you. You're like an older brother to me. There's someone else. I-I-I'm so sorry for hurting you this way and how you've already been hurt and –" he cut me off by placing his index finger on my lips.
"Is that 'someone else' Edward Cullen?" I didn't know what to say but just nodded my head and looked down at the floor.
"Figures. You changed so much when he first came to Forks Bells. You've become happier."
"Jacob, I am so very very sorry." Tears started to flow down again.
He quickly took me in his arms and hugged me tight. "It's okay. Guess I was too late. It has nothing to do with you. I want you to be happy Bells," he whispered. One hand was around my shoulders and the other rubbing my head.
I cried into his shirt. "Thank you. But I said some mean things to him today. He's leaving…" I cried even harder at the last word.
"Then don't just sit here crying! Go find him. Tell him you love him and make up." Jacob quickly let go of me.
"I can't…"
"Why not?"
"Because I-I-I'm not worthy of him. I don't deserve him. He's too good for me."
"Is this because of what Lauren said just now after school?"
I nodded.
Jacob took his fingers and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Bells, let me tell you. You are worthy of him. What am I saying? Who cares about all that crap? Lauren was jealous Bells. That's why she said those things. Ignore her. There's no such thing as being not suitable for someone or anything. All that matters is that he loves you and you love him. Why make things so complicated?"
He was right. I was making things too complicated. I was thinking too much. All those crap about setting him free, about me being out of his league, and about him needing someone better than me, it was all mumbo jumbo. It was all crap. All that mattered was that he loves me and that I too love him – more than my own life.
"You're right Jake. I-I need to go find him. Apologize. There's still time. Thank you so much." I went and gave him a quick hug.
"Anytime Bells."
I dashed out of his garage and ran to the forests. I didn't know where he was but I was still going to find him. I'll find you. I promise. Please don't leave me. I want you and only you. I need you.
I ran and ran and ran until I was at his house. I didn't even bother knocking or anything but just opened the door and dashed in. I searched every room but there was no one. I went to search his room last but it was empty. The room was empty but there were boxes lying everywhere. He was still here. He hasn't left yet. There's still hope.
I quickly ran out of his house and continued searching in the woods. I was panting and my whole body was screaming at me to take a break but I didn't stop. The stress of needing to find him was making my body pump more energy into my veins to make me continue running. Adrenaline coursed through my veins as my body burned more fuel to allow me to push myself further. My breathing heightened as my blood thickened to take in more oxygen and my heart pumped harder. My mouth dried as my digestive tract closed down to prevent any further liquid from entering my stomach as all the blood was diverted to my muscles, heart and lungs. I felt the blood leave my face as it travelled down to my heart. Energy was surging through me as I continued searching for him. I didn't care if I was going to collapse from exhaustion later on. I didn't even care how many times I fell and scrapped my knees, I couldn't feel pain now. All I could feel was the need to find him. All this time, the tears would not stop flowing down my cheeks.
"Edward!" I kept on screaming out his name hoping that he would hear me. But with a forest this dense, it was hard. Please, let me find you! I pushed my body even harder and at this point, even with the extra energy, my brain was telling me to stop but I just ignored it. I couldn't risk losing him.
I didn't really know where I was running. Before I knew it, I was at a road. I didn't care to even look but just dashed across the wide road. I didn't notice the red truck that was heading my way until I heard its horn. There wasn't time to move away and my body too stayed paralyzed. All my senses were cut off at that instant. It was then a sudden flash appeared in front of my eyes. I saw everything I needed to see. Me meeting him for the first time, the meadow, the family visit, me crying thinking that he had left him, him giving me the ring, our first dance and ultimately, the pain of knowing that he had left me.
I remembered everything…
EDWARD'S POV
Everything was packed up and ready for me to go back to Phoenix first thing in the morning. I was too much of a coward to tell Bella goodbye. Instead, I left her a note to say goodbye. Pathetic, Edward Cullen, you are the most pathetic excuse for a vampire. Wonder how she took it.
Bella… You deserve someone who loves you and can protect you. Hope Jacob would realize he loves you and would protect you. I hope you would find your prince Bella. Though I am not the one, I hope you'll be happy forever. Who knows, I might just see you in the future even though I would try to avoid it. But these things can't be predicted. It's all fated I guess, like me meeting you and entering your life. But I do hope that if I do see you again, you would have completely forgotten about me and that you have found the one you love and that you two are happy. I wish you a happy life Bella.
I decided to take a walk at the forest and maybe hunt. I wasn't thirsty yet as I just hunted about two days ago but I wanted something to do to distract me. If not, I might just go back to Bella's house and beg her to forgive me. My resistance could only take me this far.
Suddenly, my phone rang. Alice's number showed at the Caller ID. Why was she calling me now? "Hello?"
"Edward! Edward!" she literally screamed. Panic was colored all over her tone and I knew at once she must have seen something bad.
"What's going on Alice?"
"You've gotta go find her. She's in danger."
"Who? Alice, calm down. Who's in danger?"
"Bella! She's looking for you. Go…GO!" she practically yelled at the receiver and I froze. Bella's in danger? Bella's in danger! It took me a few seconds to register before I fully understood what was really going on. I quickly shut my phone and ran towards my house. Bella's been here like only five minutes after I left. I could tell from the scent. Why did I leave so soon? I would kill myself if anything happened to her.
I ran towards where her scent travelled. She was running very fast as her scent wasn't very strong anywhere as she was moving too fast. I quickened my pace. Her scent was everywhere. Please, please be safe.
"Edward!" a soft scream came towards me from my right. Bella? Bella! I ran towards where I heard her voice. I tried calling back but she couldn't hear me. I continued running till I could faintly hear her panting. She was close.
I ran until I stopped at the road and I saw her, frozen in her tracks. Coming her way was a red truck. A repeat of what happened eleven years ago. But this time, I'm here. I'm going to protect her; I'm not going to let her get hurt again. I'll protect her.
I didn't bother considering what the driver was going to think when he suddenly sees Bella vanish into thin air. He would probably think he was hallucinating. I pushed my body forward and carried Bella away seconds before the truck hit her. I continued running with her in my arms until I came to an abrupt stop and fell to the ground. All the time, I made sure all of the fall's impact was on me. I made a protective circle around her to make sure she was fully shielded by me.
I'm not too late this time. I saved her. I saved her…
BELLA'S POV
One minute I was staring at the red truck in front of me and next, I was swept of my feet and carried off till I saw a blur of green. We were moving so fast I could feel a stingy effect as the wind cut through my skin. We soon came abruptly to a stop as I saw that I was protected everywhere from head to toe. My savior had formed a protective circle around me that all the impact of the fall was on him.
We were spinning on the ground until we came to a stop and I was on top of him. My vision was blurry so I gently rubbed my eyes with my hands. As I slowly opened my eyes, I saw him. Edward. My whole being immediately filled up with euphoria as I saw the one I loved right in front of me.
I couldn't stop smiling as I took my hands to feel his face. I cupped my hands around his face. He was real. I wasn't dreaming and I wasn't dead. Edward was right in front of me. He was here, he really is! I didn't understand what I did next but I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tight.
"Bella?" Shock was covered all over his voice.
"Edward. It's you. It's really you. I am so sorry I shouted at you. I should not have listened to Lauren. I'm sorry."
He lightly took my shoulders and pushed me away slightly. "Lauren? You were angry at me for what Lauren said to you?" I nodded.
We sat there in utter silence. I was still sitting on his lap but I didn't care. I wanted to feel him; it was the only way to know that he's real, that he's really here with me. Edward looked up at the sky and said, "Bella, it's going to rain. Let me take you home." He started unwrap my arms from his neck and I panicked.
"No! Please, let's just stay like this for a little longer. Please. I don't care if I get wet or anything," I begged and tightened my grip around his neck. I knew that he could easily remove my hands from his neck if he wanted to no matter how hard I held onto them but he stopped and wound his arms around my waist.
"Edward. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for screaming at you like that. I'm sorry. Please don't ever leave me again," I croaked out.
"Bella? You said 'again'. You…you remember?"
I nodded. "Yes. I remember Edward. I remember."
"And you don't hate me for leaving you? For causing you all that pain?"
"No. No I don't. It hurt a lot when you left me but you had your reasons. It's okay. What matters is that you're here now, with me. Everything before that doesn't matter anymore. I love you Edward. I love you. You're the only person I want to be with."
He didn't say anything but just brought me to his chest and whispered, "Thank you. You love me more than I deserve. I love you Bella. I love you so very much." I hugged him even tighter.
I brought our foreheads together. We stared at each other longingly for a couple of minutes before he brought his lips closer to mine. As I slowly closed my eyes, I whispered, "I love you Edward Cullen."
"Mon coeur sera toujours la vôtre" was what I heard last before our lips joined for the first time. A surge of pure joy flowed through me and I found myself deepening the kiss. He was hesitant at first but soon relaxed and kissed me back with passion beyond the ages. Our lips moved in perfect synchronization like they were made for each other. He brought one of his hands to my face and cupped it around my cheek while my right hand found its way to his hair and pushed his head even closer to mine.
Rain started trickling down against my heated cheeks. It took me awhile to process that it was raining and we were soaking wet but yet, I could not find it in me to pull away from him. I loved him so much. I wanted this to continue on forever.
I didn't care about how cold I was or anything. I was with my Edward, my dream come true. That was all that mattered now. We continued kissing, kissing into eternal bliss.
Sigh… Good news, she remembers!!! After so long! Bad news, the story's about to end soon… ): I had so much fun writing this but all good things must come to an end. There's still the wedding bit to write. Maybe 3 to 4 more chapters? I don't know. And then there's the Charlie bit. How in the world is she going to tell her Dad that she's getting married at 17?! Please help me out here!
For those who were angry at Bella in the previous chapter, hope you've cooled off a bit. I saw some swearing being crossed out by *. Haha. I won't ever allow a sad ending for Edward. I love him way to much to allow such injustice. Though if Edward does get dumped by Bella I would have a chance… Hmmm… Haha, just joking. Edward and Bella are meant to be together.
Omg, I love you guys so much! Reviews have gone to over 300! When I first started this story, I just really wished it would hit 100. You guys really know how to make my day. ^^ Thank you so much!!! :D
I don't really know when the next chapter will be up. I'm currently into a new series, Vampire Academy. My friend kinda forced me to borrow it at the library but I'm not angry at her for doing that nor do I regret borrowing it. It's a good book so do go read it if you haven't. ;)
Vote on the poll please. Love you guys so much! Muacks!
