A/N: Bonjour my lovely readers! It's that time of the week again! Another new chapter! I have no idea why, but even though I have like all week to write these chapters, I only really feel like writing on the weekend. Who know, maybe I just work well under pressure.
Standard disclaimers apply, I own nothing.
Enjoy!
Chapter 28: What We Want
Gary
I felt my eyelids start to grow heavy as the lecture in Miss Belle's class continued to drag on. Usually music was my favorite subject but Miss Belle had this uncanny ability to make every word that came out of her mouth completely un-interesting. I found myself wishing I had worn sunglasses that day so I could sneak in a nap at the back of the classroom.
As she continued to preach on, my eyes started to wander around the classroom in boredom. There were quite a few attractive girls in my Strings class, but I was always drawn to stare at the same one first.
Sitting in the front row of the violin section was Leaf, seemingly paying attention to the teacher's lesson, but I noticed she was fidgeting slightly. I smiled when I realized that aspect of her hadn't changed over the years. When we were kids Leaf always hated standing or sitting still, she always liked to be doing something. I'm sure while she was trying to be a good student, she was secretly hoping that this lesson would end already so that she could get back to playing her instrument.
Her brown hair was braided over her shoulder that day and she had a grey, crochet hat over-top of it. Her sweater was dark purple and her jeans were a similar shade of grey to the one on her head. Our shared classes together were the only times I could admire her without her noticing. She really was stunning.
But unfortunately for me, she was just as confusing as she was pretty. You'd think after more than a year of my advances, I would have gotten somewhere in our relationship, but she would always brush me off whenever I got too close. It was incredibly frustrating when someone with my skills of charming the ladies could get anyone in this school, except the one girl I actually wanted to be with.
But I, Gary Oak, was persistent. The girls I'd dated at this school and all the ones before that had all been practise for this one challenge. And no matter how hard-to-get Leaf thought she could be, there was no way she could resist me forever. Granted a whole year was a pretty long time too, but I could tell I was warring her down. Just last month she'd let me sit with her while she painted. If that wasn't progress then I didn't know what was.
"Now, the violin section will be having their performances this week," Miss Belle announced. "Everyone else should use their free time to prepare for theirs in the following weeks. Cello will be next week after we get through the violin, and then guitar will be after that. So those who are learning all three of those instruments should organize their time accordingly for rehearsal, Mister Oak."
I was jolted out of my daze when I heard my name. I smiled my most charming smile to try and dissuade Miss Belle's glare.
"Don't worry Miss, I'll be more than prepared!" I bragged confidently.
"I should hope so. No more extensions will be given if you are not prepared on your given performance days," she told me sternly.
Crap, I thought to myself. That didn't leave me a whole lot of time for band practise. But I had no doubt I would still kill those performances. When you were as talented as I was, it was impossible to fail.
"Miss Green," I heard Miss Belle say. "Your performance is today. The room is yours when you're ready. Everyone else, pay attention. You will all be doing this soon."
I watched Leaf jump up with her violin case in tow. The spring in her step might not have been noticeable to anyone else, but I saw it clear as day. Leaf was always excited to play, whether it was alone or in front of an audience. As long as she could perform her music, she was happy.
It took her a moment to set up her music stand and sheet music, as well as get her instrument situated and ready. She smiled fondly the whole time, barley taking notice of the forty-something kids watching her.
She flipped her braid over to her other shoulder and tucked her shiny, maple wood violin underneath her chin as she rested it on her left shoulder. She took the bow in her right hand and stroked it against the strings of the violin a few times, checking that it was in tune.
And then she started to play. I recognized the piece as Chaconne by Vitali, a piece that always sounded kind of sad to me, but passionate too. Leaf smiled as she stroked the strings of her instrument back and forth, as if she were dancing with the music she wove together.
I instantly felt jealous of everyone in the room. When we were kids Leaf would play her violin almost every day, but she only ever played in front of a few people. Her parents, my sister, and me. Those private performances were some of my favorite memories of her, and watching her now I wished that I could enjoy this sight of her alone instead of sharing it with everyone else.
She was truly captivating. She just let the music take her where she needed to go, letting it flow as if it was the song controlling her and not the other way around. She had improved a lot in her playing through the years. I kind of wish I'd been there to watch her grow for myself.
She finished the song with a final stroke of the bow and came back. When her eyes refocused she looked like she'd come out of a trance. The class clapped respectfully for her as she bowed.
"Well done Miss Green," Miss Belle complimented. "You should all take note. I expect the same level of performance from all of you violinists."
A few others performed after Leaf, but none of them were as good. I was just glad that my performance wasn't until later that week because there was no way I could've topped her. She'd set the bar pretty high with her solo. I watched her listening intently to whoever was performing, but I was too focused on her to notice whoever it was who was playing.
"Dude, you're staring again."
I was startled by the voice that interrupted my observing. I looked to my right to see Drew giving me an 'Are you kidding me?' look.
"I don't know what you're talking about Hayden," I responded, putting my hands behind my head.
"Oh please, you've been staring at the front of class for like half an hour without blinking, and I know it's not because you decided to improve your grades. Or is the next girl you plan on asking out Miss Belle?"
I shivered in disgust at the thought. "Don't even joke about that Drew, you'll give me nightmares."
"Face it Gary, you've got it bad," Drew smirked, crossing his arms righteously.
"You sure you're not referring to the guy who lives in your mirror? Because that guy has a bad habit of staring at a certain bandanna-wearing girl when she's not looking," I retorted smugly. All of the color in Drew's face instantly drained.
"W-what…what do you mean?" Drew asked hesitantly.
"Don't play dumb Drew. You might as well where a sign around your neck you're so obvious," I mocked.
"Can you guys have this conversation another time? Preferably when I'm not within hearing distance," Paul spoke up on my other side, staring intently at the person performing.
"Hey, he started it!" I argued.
"Then I'll finish it. Being forced to hear about your repressed love lives is a cruel and unusual form of torture," Paul states seriously.
"Fine," I sighed, glad to fall back into silence as the performances continued.
When the bell rang to signal the end of class, I stood up confidently. Leaf was still gathering her stuff so I figured it was a good enough opportunity to make another move.
"Leave the poor girl alone, Oak," Drew chided from beside me. "You make her suffer enough with your lame pick-up lines."
"Your one to talk Prankster Prince," I shot back.
"I'm out of here," Paul said as he walked away. He sounded mildly irritated that we were still on this topic.
"You know for someone who goes through girls like you go through hair-product, I'm surprised you haven't given up yet. What did Leaf ever do to deserve this?" Drew asked condescendingly.
"Just sit back and watch Hayden, you might learn something that could help you with your own love problems," I added as I made my way down to the front row.
I saw that Leaf wasn't alone though. Another girl, who I recognized as Giselle, a girl who played cello, was talking to Leaf. I couldn't really make out what they were saying, but by the time I got down there, Giselle had noticed me and excused herself. She winked at me as she went by, which I didn't return as I was too focused on Leaf.
Leaf was packing up her notes when I came up behind her, but she looked lost in thought. Whatever Giselle had said to her, it looked like it had upset Leaf a great deal. Once her things were gathered she turned around abruptly and almost ran into me.
"Oh, sorry Gary," she said absentmindedly. I could tell that she wasn't really paying attention.
"Hey, what's the rush Green?" I asked. The use of her nickname caught her attention.
"It's…nothing," she said, but I could tell it wasn't. She looked depressed, which she shouldn't be because she just delivered an amazing performance.
"Hey, I just wanted to tell you how great you were," I said honestly. A compliment might cheer her up.
Her eyebrows raised in surprise and she looked up at me innocently. "R-really?" she asked, slightly confused.
"Well yeah. But you're lucky I didn't have to perform today. I would have given you a run for your money," I winked obnoxiously.
She rolled her eyes, but she smiled none-the-less. "Then I guess it's a good thing you didn't perform today because now your little fantasy about being better than me can stay intact."
"O-ho, confident are we?" I asked challengingly.
"Confidence has nothing to do with it," she smiled back, meeting my challenge.
"Guess we'll just have to wait until guitar week to see whose better then," I shrugged. I knew from the schedule Miss Belle had posted on the door of the classroom that we were going to perform that week on the same day.
"Better guitarist maybe, but the title of best violinist is still mine!" Leaf bragged cheerfully.
"Only for now, beautiful. Your precious title shall be mine yet!"
And just like that the atmosphere shifted. One moment we were having a fun, friendly conversation and the next it was like a storm cloud had appeared over Leaf's head. Her expression immediately shifted to one of hurt, annoyance and…bitterness. Was it something I said?
"Don't call me that," she said in a cold voice.
Uh-oh, I'm losing her. Turn up the charm to 10 Oak or you can count this one as another failure.
"What, beautiful? I just call it as I see it. What else am I supposed to call someone as fine as you?" I smiled charismatically.
She scoffed. "How about my name!" she spat venomously. "After seven years you should know it by now."
I was taken aback by her anger. "Hey, come on, I was having fun talking to you," I admitted without thinking. How could this all have gone downhill so fast?
"You mean you were having fun flirting with me, which is probably the only reason you even came to talk to me. So do me a favor and go bother someone else. I'm sure there are lots of girls in this school who are just dying for your undivided attention," she said bitterly, turning away from me.
But none of them are you. I thought stubbornly. I was losing this battle fast. Think Gary, think! You need to reel her back in before it's too late!
"I-It wasn't the only reason!" I burst out suddenly.
She paused in her departure and glared at me over her shoulder. "Oh yeah?" she asked, sounding as if she didn't believe me.
"Y-yeah! Actually, I was um…I wanted to ask you a question!" I came up with off the top of my head.
She looked at me skeptically before turning back around. She crossed her arms indifferently and continued to glare in annoyance at me. "I'm listening."
My mind froze. Mayday, mayday! I've lost control of the situation! Think brain, think! We need questions or the battle will be lost!
My eyes darted around the room behind her, looking for something I could ask about. My eyes landed on her violin case.
Wait, the case! Leaf decorated a guitar case for Paul's birthday! Ask about that!
"The case! T-The guitar case you gave to Paul!" I shouted.
Leaf raised one of her eyebrows in doubt. "Yeah, what about it?"
"Well, I was thinking…that it looked really cool! Ya' know, with the Torterra on it and all. And I was looking at my electric the other day and I thought it looked kind of plain, so um…yeah, I wanted to ask if it was possible to get something like that done on my electric guitar!" I finished. I sighed with relief, glad to have gotten out such a reasonable excuse on the spot like that.
"Oh…" Leaf said. Her expression shifted from an annoyed one to a neutral one, probably because we were approaching a more comfortable topic of conversation for her. "Well, yeah. It is possible. Actually I got the idea because I did a similar design on my own guitar," she explained.
"Okay, well that's all I-wait! You can do that?" I asked, slightly intrigued.
"Well yeah. I decorated all of the girl's instruments for the band," she said.
"Really?" I wondered. I had only asked because I needed an excuse, but now I was actually interested by the idea. And as a plus, this topic seemed to be combatting Leaf's stubbornness. Maybe I could take it one step further.
"You don't supposed you could do that for me, could you?" I asked.
A look of surprise crossed Leaf's face. "Are you serious? You want me to put a design on your electric?"
"Yeah, totally! And the same way you did Paul's Pokémon, you can do mine! An Umbreon design would look sick on my guitar!" I exclaimed. I was getting fired up about the idea myself. Not only would my guitar look even more awesome, but loaning it to her for a while would give me an excuse to see her again.
"Are you sure?" Leaf asked, looking unsure of herself.
"One hundred percent!" I told her. This might be just the opportunity I needed to get closer to her. Like the day in the courtyard.
"Well…okay then," Leaf conceded. A small smile had graced her lips. She looked happy to have been asked.
"Cool, I'll drop it off last period," I finished. Although I could have stood there talking to her all day, we did both have other classes.
Leaf nodded her head and waved goodbye as she exited the classroom, looking happier than she had at the beginning of our conversation. I heard someone walk up behind me.
"You sir, are lucky that girl didn't threaten to get a restraining order against you," Drew said as he started to exit the classroom as well. I followed beside him.
"Luck had nothing to do with it," I responded, paraphrasing Leaf. "No one can resist Gary Oak forever."
Misty
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Absolutely positive?"
"Yes."
"And this isn't some kind of trick?"
"No."
"And you're not going to beat me up?"
"Maybe later."
"MISTY!"
I laughed out loud as Ash scowled at me. He and May had walked with me down to the Sunset café for my afternoon shift, and now he was trying to get me to promise that no harm would come to him because I'd told him he could come inside. The last time he came around with Leaf he'd gotten a swift punch to the head after the challenge party.
"Hey you don't have to come in if you don't want to, I was just saying-" I said nonchalantly.
"NO NO! We want to come in!" May interrupted. "I'm seriously starving, and those slices of maple cheesecake I see behind the counter are calling my name!" She said, straining to see through the window.
"But May!" Ash yelled. "I don't want to die!"
"Pikachu!" Pikachu agreed from his place on Ash's shoulder.
"Ash, don't look a gift Rabidash in the mouth! If Misty says we can enter while she's working and not die, than I believe her," May said as she dragged Ash by his arm through the glass doors of the café.
I followed in after them. "Sit down already and don't disturb anyone before I change my mind," I told them as I went around to the back. Once back in the kitchen area I went to the women's change room they had situated in the room next to it.
I fished out my keys from my blue jeans pocket and unlocked the tiny locker. The other waitress on-shift was already out there so I didn't have to worry about anyone walking in on me while I changed.
After a minute I was wearing my uniform and folding up my jeans, long sleeved black and blue shirt, and my grey plaid winter jacket to put in the locker. I tightened my side pony-tail and smoothed out the wrinkles in my orange dress. I tied the white apron around my waist and exited the change room.
God I hated dresses. They were so impractical! They offered no protection against the cold for your legs and their sole purpose was to increase the femininity of the person wearing them. Women had rights now, they weren't just eye candy! But forcing us to dress up just to draw in the impressionable male crowd was exploiting not only the biggest weakness of the male kind, but the assets of female workers who were only trying to get by in the world!
Also they reminded me of my sisters. So long-story short, I did not like dresses. But I had to eat somehow, so I'd gotten over it for the most part. If I had a choice in the matter I would always pick against dresses, but I was willing to wear them if it meant I got paid.
I came out to the café area and greeted Summer politely. Spring and Autumn's sister was just as nice as they were. Her dark purple hair was left down around her shoulders, which was technically against the dress code for the café, but she never seemed to care.
I walked over to the table May and Ash were sitting at. Pikachu was sitting in the middle of the table, and he was the one to notice me first. Ash and May switched their attention to me when Pikachu chirped up.
"Misty you look so great!" May complimented. I rolled my eyes but didn't respond. "You had us worried that you'd changed your mind about us being here."
"I wouldn't have said it was alright for you to come in if I didn't mean it. Now, are you guys ready to order or are you just gonna sit there all day?" I asked impatiently.
"Hello-o!" I heard called from the glass door as the bell chimed. Harley was standing in the doorway in his usual green outfit, looking like a walking Cacturn.
I rolled my eyes and hoped he'd just walk by. The last thing I needed was my manager watching me while I did my job.
"Oh, if it isn't Misty! How's my little fiery bundle of energy doing today? You're not arguing with anymore customers are you?" Harley asked teasingly. At the very least he was getting my name right now.
"Fine Harley," I said back plainly. I just couldn't catch a break, could I?
"Hello there Harley," May smiled sinisterly. "Nice to see you again."
Harley's expression immediately fell. He looked like a combination of afraid and angry.
"May."
I smiled a bit at the way he was reacting. When I'd first gotten the job last year May had applied as well, but her interview had gone a bit, well…badly. Let's just say it ended with a lot of broken glass.
"Well, you look like you've got this under control Misty. I'll leave you to it," Harley said before scurrying back to his office behind the cash as fast as he could.
"Thanks for that May," I stated, happy that she'd made him leave.
"No problem. Now, I want a white, hot chocolate and a slice of maple cheesecake!" May said, excited for her snack.
"You got it," I said as I wrote it down on my pad of paper. "Ash, what about you?"
He didn't respond. When a few seconds went by I looked over at him to see what the problem was. He didn't even look like he was paying attention. His eyes were all glazed over and he was staring off into space. Or more specifically, directly at me.
I felt my face heat up at the very idea of Ash looking at me like that for any reason, but I pushed down that hopeful feeling. Ash and I had been friends for years so I knew for a fact that he had as much interest in the opposite sex as he did in homework. That being, none at all.
I hit him on the head lightly with my waitress pad, causing him to shake his head and come back.
"What's wrong with you?" I asked, trying to get my cheeks to stop flushing. "I asked you a question."
"Oh, sorry, what?" he stuttered out quickly.
"What. Can. I. Get. You?" I spelled out every word slowly so I wouldn't confuse him.
"O-oh." Ash responded. He seemed kind of out of it.
"You alright there Ash?" I asked out of concern.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just lost in thought I guess," he responded, sounding more like his usual cheery self.
I looked at him skeptically. What could Ash possibly be lost in thought about? He was by no means stupid, but he wasn't exactly brilliant either. The nice way of putting it would be simple-minded.
"Can I have a strawberry vanilla doughnut and some of that crunchy stuff for Pikachu?" Ash asked.
"You mean biscotti?" I dead-panned.
"Yeah, that stuff!" Ash confirmed joyfully.
Like I said, simple-minded.
"Hey Misty, why are you suddenly okay with us being in here?" May asked. "I mean, all last year you threatened to throw a car at us if we even thought about coming in here while you were working. What changed your mind?"
I shrugged. "I dunno. I guess I just stopped caring. It wasn't really a big deal anyway," I told her, remembering Paul's observation. "But that doesn't mean I won't still flatten you guys if you make fun of the dress."
I walked off to behind the counter where I started to prepare their orders. All of the racks of baked goods were behind the counter next to the coffee machines. I'd just about put together all of the food on a tray when I heard the bell chime by the door, signalling a customer coming in, followed by a racket of loud voices.
I turned around and saw a couple of older guys walk in. They were being loud-mouthed and rowdy, gaining the attention of all the customers in the shop. There were three of them and they looked to be older than me. Perhaps college students?
They took a seat near the register, but they were still talking obnoxiously loud. And I knew Gary Oak, so that was saying something. The rest of the customers seemed to be getting annoyed.
"HEY, waitress! Can we get some service over here?!" The tallest one yelled at Summer. He had blue hair and a pair of sunglasses balanced on top of his head. The other two had brown and black hair, but the blue-headed guy was obviously the ring-leader. Summer looked nervous at the thought of having to approach the three of them all on her own.
"Hey Summer, I'll deal with them. You just ignore them," I told her as I put May's drink on the tray last.
"Are you sure Misty?" she asked, part scared and part relieved.
"Don't worry, I can handle it," I told her as I took the tray with May and Ash's order and headed out from behind the cash register.
"I'll be with you in a moment," I told them as I walked by, trying not to let any irritation slip into my tone. But unexpectedly, I felt a hand wrap around my wrist roughly.
"Hey come on, we're hungry now! Can't you make an exception and serve us first?" the boy with blue hair asked, his hand still clasped around my wrist.
I glared as I tried to yank my hand free from his grip, "I said I'd be with you in a minute, if you don't feel like waiting then go somewhere else!"
"Ooh, feisty," said the guy. "I like a women who's got some fight in her."
"Let me go!" I yelled in frustration. And I was pretty strong myself, but this guy was older and bigger than me. His grip on my wrist hardened to the point of being painful.
"Aw come on babe, don't be like that," he cooed as he pulled me closer to him. I struggled not to drop my tray and get away from him but it was a challenge.
"Come on Damien, people are starting to stare," one of his underlings said.
"Let 'em," Damien said. "I'll knock it off as soon as I get this little thing's number."
"Are you drunk!? I said, let me-!"
But I never got to finish my sentence. Before I could, I was felt someone pulling me roughly by the shoulders away from the delusional ass-hat that couldn't take a hint. I lost my grip on the tray and heard the shattering of the porcelain plates breaking against the floor.
I turned back to the scene and saw Ash standing between me and Damien protectively. Pikachu was set on his shoulder, cheeks sparking with fury. Meanwhile I was struck speechless.
"Leave her alone," Ash said seriously.
"Oi, what's your problem?' Damien asked, getting up from his seat.
"She said to let go and you didn't," Ash explained. "So right now, my problem is you."
"Well, in case you haven't noticed mate, you're kind of outnumbered. So why don't you go back to your table and leave the cute red-head to me?" Damien smirked confidently.
"Go to hell!" I spat from behind Ash. Damien was a total creep, and there was no way I was gonna let him talk about me like I wasn't standing there.
"Yeah!" May said, speaking up from beside me. "Get lost losers! And by my count, it's three on three. Seems like a fair fight to me if you guys need a little help getting out the door," May threatened, cracking her knuckles.
"SERIOUSLY!? THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THIS WEEK!"
I looked behind them and saw Harley standing at the back doors again. His expression looked dark when he saw what was going on.
"Is there a problem here!?" he asked as he approached the group of us.
"These guys were harassing Misty," Ash said, glaring fiercely at them still.
"Hey, we were just having a friendly conversation! You were the one who came in like some sort of animal and interrupted," Damien said to Ash.
"You lying prick!" I snarled.
"Now, now, calm down everyone. Although Misty can be a real pain sometimes, she's not a liar. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you gentlemen to leave." Harley concluded.
"What!? This is outrageous!" Damien yelled as his friends came to stand beside him.
"Oh, don't feel like leaving? Well then, I guess I'll just have to get my dear friend to show you out," Harley said, bringing out a pokéball from his pocket. When the light faded away from its release, a Cacturn stood towering over Damien and his friends.
"Cacturn, be a dear and show these boys out of my café, won't you?" Harley requested. Cacturn's arms started to glow white with a Needle Arm attack.
That got them going. One look at those needle like spikes, and Damien and company were out the door faster than you could say good riddance. Once the cafe had settled down from the commotion, Ash turned around to face me, letting out a breath of air.
"Sorry about that Misty," he apologized. "I didn't mean for any of that to happen, I just wanted to help. But I know you can take care of yourself…"
I shook my head with disbelief and punched him lightly in the shoulder, "You dummy."
"Huh?" Ash articulated, looking confused.
"You really think I'd be mad about that? You don't have to apologize for standing up for me, I'd be madder if you hadn't," I told him.
He reached back with his left hand to rub the back of his neck sheepishly, "Hey, what are friends for right?"
My heart both warmed and stung with that remark, but it didn't show in my smile. I averted my eyes to the mess of food and hot-chocolate those creeps had made me spill on the floor.
"I've go to clean this up. You guys go back to your table and I'll bring you your order in a minute okay?"
"Are you sure you're okay Misty?" May asked, putting her hand on my shoulder.
"I'm fine. Thank you both for what you did. Just give me a sec'."
"You sure?" Ash asked. I faked annoyance even though I was touched that they were worried about me.
"Yes, this is my job! I've had annoying customers before and I'm sure I'll have more. Stop worrying you two, this is me we're talking about."
They looked relieved to hear my usual confidence and went back to their table willingly. When I went back to get the cleaning supplies from the back I thanked Summer for getting Harley when she saw how out of hand things were getting.
I felt myself blush when I thought about how Ash had stood up for me. Even knowing I could have kicked those guys' asses all the way to Sunnyshore, he still stood up for me because of how much our friendship meant.
I may be a feminist in most regards, because I believed completely that girls could do anything guys could, but I had to admit it was nice to be protected for once instead of having to fight my own battles. Ash really was a great guy.
Just one of the many reasons why I loved him.
Leaf
I ran my fingers along the nylon stings of my guitar, listening to the sound it made contently. My living room had been changed back into semi-chaos again as I lay on the couch, waiting for Gary's guitar to dry. None of the furniture was blocking any of the doors this time, but the coffee table was currently being used as a drying rack.
Misty would not be pleased with me when she returned home, but at least she'd be able to get in and out of the dorm with more ease than the last time. Perhaps that detail would be enough to keep her from hurting me.
I didn't even really know why I was doing this. Since when did I do Gary any favors? Especially after he pissed me off with his flirting. You'd think he'd get the hint that I hated people flirting with me after an entire year of rejecting him, but apparently not.
Maybe it was because before that, I'd seen more of the old Gary than I had in weeks. He didn't need to come down and tell me how well I'd done with my performance, but he had anyway. And his regular bragging had filled me with nostalgia about the way we'd used to talk to each other back in Kanto. And then when he'd asked me to customize his guitar, I could tell he was trying to change the subject to make up for making me angry. But if he knew flirting made me mad then why did he keep doing it?
Thinking about it made me feel like my heart was being crushed. The pain that spread across my chest and the confusion that filled my head were enough to force me to lie down. But I couldn't stop thinking about it. Maybe I didn't want to.
We weren't kids anymore, but a part of me craved to go back to the days when we were. I knew who I was back then, and I liked who I was. I changed into the person I am now because I had to. I didn't have a choice.
I thought back to Giselle at the end of class today. She was a friend of Melody's so I was pretty confused when she came up and started talking to me. At first she'd sounded genuine in the praise she'd given me, but then the tide had changed.
"It didn't look like you tried that hard during your performance, but it still sounded flawless. I guess you don't have to put in that much effort when you're naturally perfect."
Her tone had changed to a taunting one when she'd said those words. It was like she knew exactly what to say to get under my skin. All I'd done was perform, I wasn't trying to show off or stand out at all. It was just a class assignment, so why had she felt the need to cut me down?
I reached my hand up and brushed my braid back from my neck. I traced my fingertips against the rough patch of skin along the right side of my neck. I was usually able to hide my scar with my hair, but it was still there. Every day I felt its presence, reminding me of what I was. It was like a brand, marking me for what I'd done to deserve it. Just touching it sent shivers up and down my spine.
I don't want to be different. I thought to myself. I don't want to be perfect. I just want to be normal. Why can't they see that?
I glanced over at Gary's black and yellow guitar, trying to distract myself from my thoughts.
Gary. The memories of him had hurt so much when I'd moved away. It was easier to push them away back then so I wouldn't have to feel the hurt. But now that he was back those memories comforted me. They made me think of better times.
I laid my head back down on the couch, stroking the guitar strings some more. I pictured the place I wanted to be in my head. A place where I was safe and happy. I saw Gary and Ash by a crystal blue lake. Gary was trying to show me some guitar chords while we were sitting against a grassy hill while Ash was dangling his feet in the water. I was trying to learn how to play a song.
Gary eventually took the guitar from me to demonstrate how to do it. As I watched him play in my mind I played the chords myself in reality. I knew the song now off by heart, but back then all I could do was watch him play it seamlessly. I used to imagine the sound of other instruments playing along, kind of like I was doing while I was lost in my memory. And just like in the memory, I started to sing.
(Stay Beautiful- by Taylor Swift)
I let myself come out of the memory. It was funny, in a way that song could have been about Gary if I substituted the name. It reminded me of him, and the way our friendship used to be.
I wished it could be like that again. I wanted that more than anything but it just couldn't be anymore. Too much had changed since then. It wasn't even Gary's fault really. No matter how much his flirting and dating habits irritated me, deep down I knew it was my fault our relationship was this way. I was just too…damaged, to let him in again.
I felt my tears building up in my eyes but I wiped them away quickly. Letting myself indulge in memories always clouded my head with emotions I couldn't afford to feel. I needed to keep on going for the people that needed me. The girls needed me, and they were more important to me than any personal problems.
I heard a knock at my door. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand once more to make sure I'd gotten rid of all the moisture before I put my guitar down. I walked past the still-drying electric towards the direction of the door-frame.
I knew it couldn't be Misty because she'd just let herself in, but it might have been May or Dawn. I wondered about it briefly before I opened the door. I was greeted by the sight of the one who'd been plaguing my thoughts all day.
"Gary?"
"Yo, Leaf! How's it going?" he asked with his usual arrogant smile.
"Um, fine. What are you doing here?" I asked, confusion laced in my voice.
"Because you told me to be, duh. You said to come by at eight o'clock to get my guitar." he reminded me.
Oh right, I did say that didn't I? Was it really 8 already?
I glanced down at my watch and saw that he was telling the truth. I must have lost track of time somewhere between airbrushing the design onto Gary's guitar and singing to myself.
"Oh, r-right…Um, come on in," I invited as I stepped away from the door. Gary walked into my living room and gazed around at the disorder it was in.
"Wow, and I thought Ash was messy," he smirked.
"Hey!" I shouted in indignation. "In case you forgot, I'm the one who did you this favor! You don't get to criticize the methods I use!" I scolded him.
"Alright, alright! Sorry!" he held up his hands in surrender. "So, where is it?" Gary asked, quickly changing the subject.
"It's right there," I informed him, walking over to the coffee table. The strings of the guitar lay in curls on one side where I'd unstrung them to get them out of the way. "The paint should be dry enough by now to take the stencil off, but I wouldn't recommend playing it until tomorrow just in case," I told him.
I used my fingernails to grasp one corner of the sticky material I'd used for the stencil and started to peel it away from the finished product. When the sticker-like outline was completely off, the image of a yellow outlined Umbreon with a red eye was left behind on the base of the electric. I had to admit that it turned out well.
"Wow that looks amazing! Umbreon is gonna freak when he sees this!" Gary commented happily as he leaned down next to me to observe it.
"It's gonna take me a few minutes to re-string it. You can sit down if you want," I offered as I brought the guitar into my lap.
Gary complied and went over to the couch, flopping down onto it lazily. It had been a long time since we were alone in a room together and it felt…awkward. Especially after our earlier conversation that day. I decided the best way to get through it was to concentrate on restringing.
I was so focused on re-positioning the guitar strings that I almost didn't notice the strumming sound of my acoustic. I looked up and saw that Gary was playing the guitar I'd set down before I'd opened the door.
I averted my eyes down to the guitar quickly, cautioning myself not to stare. He looked so much like he had in my memory down by the lake. Right down to the guitar sitting in his arms.
"You remember when this used to be mine?" he asked.
My head jolted up to look back at him. He was too busy playing with my guitar to look at me, but I couldn't help but notice the smile he wore on his face.
"Yeah I remember…" I told him. My fingers were shaking slightly as I continued to place the strings.
"You've taken pretty good care of it. It still plays just like it did five years ago," Gary claimed as he played a few chords.
Of course I took care of it. It was the last thing you gave to me... and then I left. I broke my promise and left you and my home, and I never contacted you again because it hurt too much and you…you were probably better off without me.
I finished positioning the final string and tightened the tuners. I held it by its neck as I picked it up.
"There, all done," I announced as I held out the black and yellow electric guitar. Gary smiled sincerely as he put my guitar down so he could get up and take his own from me.
"Thank you, really. You did an awesome job," he told me as he ran his hand along the new motif.
"Don't mention it," I said half-heartedly. Having Gary here was causing my head to swim. Feelings and memories were swirling around my head that I didn't know how to make sense of. The sooner he left the sooner I'd be able to distract myself from them.
"Hey," Gary caught my attention again. "Are you okay?"
I blinked in surprise. I hadn't expected him to notice that I was troubled. He hadn't been that intuitive about me in years.
"Oh, yeah I'm fine!" I answered untruthfully. "Guess my head's just somewhere else today."
I ran a hand through my bangs as I walked past him to gather up some of the supplies around the floor. By busying myself maybe Gary would get the hint and leave me in peace.
"You always were a terrible liar."
I froze in my tidying, my breath catching in my throat.
"You know if you need a shoulder to cry on I'm always available. There did use to be a time when you could tell me anything," he said. He still had that stupid cockiness in his voice that he always used when he was flirting, but his reference to our old friendship stopped me from getting mad like before.
I stood up from the floor, keeping my back to him. I hugged my arms around myself, feeling my arms starting to tremble despite the normal temperature of the room.
"That…was a long time ago," I told him, distancing myself further from him as I walked towards the floor-to-ceiling window behind the couch. I looked out of the pane of glass, at the darkened sight of the courtyard below.
"Yeah it was. But it doesn't change the fact that I'm still here for you. You know…if you need me."
Please stop. I wanted to say, but my throat felt like it was glued shut. I was choking on unshed tears. Why was he bringing this up now?
"I told you…I'm fine," I lied again, knowing he wouldn't believe me. "You don't need to worry about me."
I wish you wouldn't. I don't deserve it. I can't give you what you want. I'm too broken. I don't deserve to be anything else.
"Why don't I believe you, beautiful?"
It's not true. I'm not beautiful, not anymore. Maybe I never was, so please…just stop lying to me because I know it's not true. It's can't be…no one so flawed could ever be seen as beautiful.
"Please, don't call me that," I asked, choking on the last word.
My eyes stung, but I really didn't want to cry in front of him. He was one of the only people who remembered me the way I used to be. When I was strong, brave and independent. I didn't want my weakness now to tarnish that memory.
I felt flimsy, like a gentle breeze could cause me to fall apart. The only way I could make this feeling go away was to force it away. Push it deep down where it could never see the light of the sun and lock it up tightly. That was how I stayed together, that was the only way I could survive. But Gary…he brought up all those feelings and weaknesses like a flood. He reminded me of everything I'd been that I couldn't be again. He made me feel like I was drowning when all I wanted to do was breathe.
I tightened my grip around myself and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to push it all back down. If I could just shrink into myself, I'd be safe. If I could just get away, I'd be okay in the end.
I felt something warm and strong wrap around my waist and pull me close. I opened my eyes and felt the salty tears escape before I could stop them. Something had enfolded me in its grasp, comforting me and making me feel…protected.
I glanced to my side as much as I could, but being in such close proximity I found that I couldn't see far. But even though I couldn't see him, there was nobody else around who it could be.
"Blue…" I whimpered, too drained to fight back and too confused to form a question.
"Just shut up Green."
I lowered my head, recognizing that phrase from almost every conversation we ever had growing up. It wasn't said to be rude or mean, he said it to make me calm down. To just stop talking and thinking and to just step back for a moment.
"Don't worry, I'm not making a move on you or anything," Gary assured me as he hugged me lightly. "I just hate to see you looking so sad, alright?"
I nodded my head, my throat too constricted to speak normally. Everything in my head was screaming at me to get away. To shut myself away all alone where no one could hurt me and I couldn't hurt anyone else. But something about Gary's touch made me feel so secure. I found myself not wanting to go anywhere ever again.
I wanted to lock away that desire along with every other feeling that caused me to hurt. And I knew I probably would once Gary left. Because that's who I was now. I buried everything so I could keep on going. I sacrificed so that others could find happiness. Gary would always be special to me, but I knew I couldn't be anything more to him. Someday he'd find someone else to be with, and I'd be happy for him then. But until then, all I could do was enjoy his company now while still forcing myself to never let him get to close.
He deserves better than what I can be. He always has, even when he was being insufferable and annoying.
"Gary…" I spoke up after a while. "Can you leave please? I just…I want to be alone for a while."
Gary didn't argue or hesitate. He just let go, squeezing my shoulders once for support.
"Okay," he responded.
I counted his footsteps as he picked up his guitar and made his way to the door.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" he called happily, his usual attitude slipping back into place.
"Yes," I confirmed, keeping my back to him.
Once I heard the door click into place as it closed, my knees gave way and I sunk to the floor. I covered my eyes with my hands to catch the tears as they fell, no longer fighting against them.
Gary didn't know what he wanted. His advances towards me, they were only because we used to be friends. But I knew it wouldn't be enough, not after everything that had happened. Someday he'd find someone else to want. As long as he was happy, along with everyone else I cared about, I would be able to go on contently. Because one thing was continuously certain.
There would always be more important things than what I wanted.
A/N: So, this chapter was basically all about Oldrival and Pokéshipping. I liked writing it because, Leaf, so much back-story, it will all be explained, but for now you only get hints. But there's a lot of history between Leaf and Gary. I'll get to it a little later on in the story. But yeah, her problems go way beyond insecurity to borderline self-deprecating.
Okay, let me know what you think! Next week's chapter will have a little bit of everything in it. So until then, stay lovely my readers!
