The Other Side to Sirius Black part one
Throughout the entire afternoon Lily had people pounding at her portrait hole, wanting to ask Lily about what had happened. After the first hour Lily and James just learned to ignore it and continue with the conversation, and soon enough the tragedy whores lost interest or hope in satisfying their morbid curiosity and left.
"You'd think they'd have something better to do..." Lily said after another one of these encounters.
"Well Death Eaters in the school is a rather large issue..."
"Yes, and if they had any decency they would be afraid or discussing the matter sensibly rather than wasting time at my portrait hole, wanting what they imagine to be the sordid and gory details."
"They weren't that gory, where they?"
"Not at all."
"I think that was the cleanest arrest I've ever made. It was well handled Evans, well handled indeed. Almost perfectly hassle free."
"Thank you, I tried." She had tried exceptionally hard, as a matter of fact. Arranging your own attempted murder on your own terms is tricky business...
The pounding started again. As usual they ignored it, but until like others they didn't seem to give up.
"Merlin some people just won't quit!"
Potter heaved a sigh. "You want to go to my office, Evans? This is going a bit far..."
"Lily!" the person said. She recognised the voice as Rupert's.
"It's Roo," she said with a relieved sigh. "Under the cloak, if you please, Potter."
She strode to the portrait hole as Potter concealed himself.
"Roo, are you alone?"
"Not as alone as I'd like to be," he said, voice muted slightly by the portrait and the wall. "Oh bugger off, will you!"
Lily opened eased the portrait open slightly. "In, Roo. Quickly."
He squeezed in and Lily shut the pushed the portrait back hastily after him.
"It's been madness, trying to get in here. I didn't hear about it until I got back an hour ago. You're sure you are alright?" he said the moment he got in.
"Positive," she replied. He gave her a hug which she gratefully accepted.
Potter hadn't even bothered to give her of his 'I'm glad you aren't dead' hugs. "Thanks... I needed one of those," she said aloud, hoping she was making her point without sounding like she was trying to make a point. Rupert closed his eyes, and leaned his forehead against hers, sighing.
"You knew, didn't you?"
"What?"
"You knew what they were up to and you went to Hogsmeade anyway, didn't you. That's why last night..."
"Yes..." she said, cupping Rupert's cheek with her palm. "Thank you."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I couldn't. I just wanted to be with you..."
James felt decidedly awkward being a silent spectator to this scene. He was just opening the door to sneak out when he heard Ferris say something far too interesting to ignore.
"I knew there was something strange about you seeing Michaels... it's not like you to date two men at the same time."
"I know to whom you are alluding and we aren't dating..."
"It seems like it..."
"Well we aren't."
"He's too old for you anyway."
"Only 5 years, but that's not the point. We aren't seeing each other..."
'5 years?' James thought. He was 5 years older than Lily, was Ferris referring to him?
"I saw that letter... who else would say something like 'my dearest darling beloved, we must both suffer for our love...' Come on Lily, you can't deny there is something there..."
"His writing style is... uniquely unfortunate. He gets carried away with romanticisms, but I assure you he isn't the romantic type..."
"He sent you flowers, lilies and petunias!"
"Yes, I know, thank you. Yes, he may care for me in his own demented way but..."
"Tell me the truth, Lily. Please."
"The truth is that I don't know exactly what he is. He's just... there... I can't tell you what I don't know."
"You know he came into your hospital room while you were sleeping. To drop off the flowers. He said he didn't want to wake you... he stroked your hair, and cheek, kissed your head... You don't do that sort of thing unless you care for them." Rupert was thinking that Professor Potter had done the same thing, even held her hand and cried, but he decided not to tell Lily (or anyone) about this. Going down that road, Rupert knew, was more trouble that it was worth. Better leave it entirely alone, because it would surely blow up one day, and Rupert would rather not be there when it did.
James stood there silently, wondering. He had seen the flowers himself. She had said she didn't know who sent them... 'No,' his mind corrected him. 'She said no such thing. She said there was no card...' Merlin the girl was tricky. She obviously was keeping this fellow a secret, but why? Perhaps James could somehow get Ferris to tell.
"He is special to me..."
"Just don't let him hurt you."
"He won't."
"I don't have so much faith in him. I know, he's charming and handsome and everything else a witch could want but..."
"Rupert." She interrupted.
"Yes?"
"Don't worry about it. I'm not in a position to get hurt. He's just a... friend... of sorts."
"Pretty strange friendship..."
"Most of mine are..." she said fairly. Rupert chuckled.
"I suppose so. A unicorn, a half giant, a professor, shady pub owner, WWN personality, and a slimy potion crazed death eater..."
"He's no longer my friend." Lily said quickly, coldly, sadly. "I can't be a friend to a Death Eater who..." she stopped, catching herself, then went on in a lighter tone. "Still, without him I wouldn't know half the things I do about potions. I wouldn't be the great brewer that I am today. But you are right, I do have some strange friends, including you."
"Including me..." Rupert said with a smile.
At that moment, a large barn owl hopped through her window she had left open for Ebony.
"Who could this be?" she asked to herself more than anyone else. She took the letter from it and it left, clearly not really expecting a reply. Rupert looked at her curiously. She shrugged, and turned to face him, her back facing the wall so she could read it without Rupert looking over her shoulder... except she didn't have only Rupert to think about...
She felt James next to her, waiting for her to open it. She hesitated, unsure whether or not she wanted him to see... She didn't know herself who it was from. At least she knew it wasn't from Sirius. They had already settled their business.
Her fingers lingered over the wax seal...
...Now his warmth was behind her...
"Are you going to open it or not?" Roo asked.
"I... don't know," she replied.
...He came even closer, so that his front was barely pressing into her back, his hands resting on her shoulders. She could feel the heat of his body and the cool of the fabric.
He breathed warmly into her ear, twice, before he whispered ever so slightly "Do it..."
With the way he had asked, she would have done anything he wanted her to. Luckily (or unluckily) for her she only had to open the letter. Her hands were still trembling slightly, but not from hesitation this time...
Hands draped in invisible silk found their way on top of hers, seeming to open the letter for her.
"I can do it," she whispered.
"I know you can..." Rupert said confusedly. Lily ignored him. She unfolded the letter and began to read, James's hands returned to her shoulder, and by the feel of the weight, he had rested his head on her right one. She lifted the parchment slightly, so it would be at an easier angle for him to see.
She looked immediately to the bottom of the letter first to see who had signed it. Once she learned it was from Tom, manager of the Leaky Cauldron, she started from the top.
Dear Lily,
How are you keeping? It's good to hear from you. To answer your question, yes, I would most certainly appreciate your help during the holiday season. Any weekend you can spare from now until you are out for Christmas you'd be welcome to work in the bar. During the actual holidays I'd be glad to have you full time for the inn. Can't give you your usual room though. The big ones'll be for guests, but I'll still have a place for you. Glad you wrote to me, I was thinking about asking you anyway. Don't know if you've heard but Rosy's in the family way and is expecting in January, so can't ask her to work the bar anymore...
Several guests have asked about you, wondering when you will be back.
Fred and Cyrus send their love and Basil sends you nothing because he's bitter you haven't written. Everyone will be pleased to see you. (Even Basil, though he'll deny it.)
G'luck.
Tom
"Well?" Rupert asked... The weight of James's head left her, but he began rubbing her shoulders. It felt wonderful.
"Good news, I can work at the Leaky Cauldron over the holidays."
"Aww, I was going to invite you over to mine..."
"No, I want to do this. It will be nice to make a bit of gold."
"Are you working on Christmas day?"
"Not sure yet..."
"If not will you come?"
"I don't know, Roo... There is a tradition to be observed after all..."
"Ah yes... you and your traditions..."
"I like traditions. It makes things more special."
"Wow... aren't you popular..." Roo said unexpectedly.
"What?" she asked, confused.
"You've got another owl," he said, pointing. Lily turned around. Sure enough, a great eagle owl perched on the sill. James's intoxicatingly tender shoulder massage regrettably stopped.
Lily once again went to the bird and removed the letter. She was surprised to see that it wasn't addressed to her. The name James Potter was scribbled messily on the front in red ink. Lily put it face down on a small table next to the wall and walked towards the portrait hole.
"Aren't you going to read it?"
"I'm going to see Dumbledore first, to ask him for permission to work on weekends."
"Alright. See you at dinner then?"
"And submit myself to indignitiy of being pestered by all those gossip mongers in the Great Hall? No thank you. I'll just wake up early tomorrow and have a big breakfast."
"You sure? I could bring you back something..."
"Don't bother... I have no appetite anyway..."
They parted ways in front of the portrait hole, him going down to the great hall, and her up to Dumbledore's office. As she ascended staircase after staircase she did her best to order her thoughts. None of which (to her dismay) had anything to do with order work or something equally important. No, the subject of her frenzied wonderings was of course James 'the wanker' Potter, his stupid invisibility cloak, and the actions they concealed.
'Why did he do that? Why?!' She was enraged with him and with herself. He was confusing her. What did he mean by that? Did he know how it affected her? Why was he always bolder when under the cloak? First with the bra strap, then he put his arm around her, then the hand holding and now this appalling (delectable) massage...
She couldn't take it anymore. She was a human, not a gargoyle. She could go mad from pent up frustration just like anyone else... She made a mental note that she would hide that blasted cloak. Then, remembering how often she failed to remember her mental notes, made another mental note not to forget. Curse him, and curse that cloak.
Back in the Head Girls room James thought it was true, he felt more powerful under the cloak. Untouchable... invincible, even. Under the cloak he felt like he could do things he wouldn't normally do. Being invisible made him feel... almost like a ghost, unreachable, and his actions somehow weren't real... as long as he was under the cloak it didn't count... because he wasn't really there...
Except he was really there and Lily knew he was there. From now on, he told himself, he wouldn't do anything under the cloak that he wouldn't do if he weren't wearing it.
Now did that mean he would put a stop to those encounters or simply continue without the cloak?...
James removed said cloak and opened the letter. It was from Moody, but not an official ministry missive. James scanned the letter through before placing it in his pocket. He glanced at his watch. He would have to tell Evans after the dusk feeding because it didn't look like he would have time to do it before.
x
"You are very nearly late," James pretended to admonish when Lily walked back in her own common room after talking to Dumbledore. The conversation had lasted longer than she had expected...
"Nearly. Let's go then," she said, extending her hands, waiting for him to hand her the cloak. Having donned the infamous cloak of evil (she remembered she was not best pleased with the thing and had made a mental note to hide it from James) they left for Hagrid's.
As Lily and James had both suspected, Hagrid had heard about the events of the afternoon and wasn't pleased. Luckily, Hagrid started yelling right away. It was lucky because Lily hadn't had the chance to sit down and start feeding Mercury before the giant's bellows scared him and he trod on Lily again in a hasty retreat.
"James Potter, if yeh knew she were with Death Eaters ye should've told'er! Instead of usin 'er like that! She's not a pawn in a chess game, she's your student! You are supposed to protect her, and all you seem to do is get her into trouble!" Hagrid roared.
"Hagrid, I knew that they were Death Eaters. Potter did tell me." Lily defended James. Hagrid turned to Lily and yelled some more.
"Yeh knew! Yeh knew and yeh didn't tell me!"
"She didn't want you to worry, Hagrid..." said James, causing the giant to then turn back to James.
"Yeh should have done something to stop her! If ye both knew they were Death Eaters
To the utter astonishment of both the Head Girl and the half giant, James began to laugh.
"You think I had any say in the matter?!" he said once he had calmed down. "I've learned the hard way it's hard to convince Evans of anything once she's already got it into her head to do something else... She keeps beating me over the head with sound reasoning until I'm too punch-drunk to accept any idea other than hers... She isn't a child I can tell what to do and what not to do, Hagrid." James chuckled slightly. "Sorry to say it but your ickle Evakins is all growed up."
"Oh James, now look what you've done," Lily said withdrawing a handkerchief from her robes and enlarging it five times it's normal size. She handed it to the half giant.
"He's right..." Hagrid sniffed. Lily patted his back comfortingly as she pondered Potter's statement. Her immediate reaction was to be pleased, but the more she thought about it, the more confused she became.
Seeing that there would probably be no more yelling, Lily went back to Mercury to feed him, humming and stroking him as she did. "You are getting big, cariad. Soon you won't need me anymore..."
Mercury was too busy eating to properly respond, so he simply made a sort of loving gurgling sound. Lily chuckled and continued lullaby-ing. He finished his meal long before James hoisted her up, saying they needed to get back to the castle. Lily didn't exactly see why, but she agreed and went along anyway.
"Want to stop by the kitchens?"
"Not particularly. Not very hungry."
"Two weeks ago you were ravenous all the time and now... well you haven't eaten anything all day and you haven't made a single complaint. That can't be healthy."
Lily thought about this and decided it was a fair deduction, so she went with him to the kitchens.
"Look, Evans, I had a reason for taking you away from Hagrid. There is something I needed to discuss with you. I got a letter from Moody."
"Not here, James."
"Why not?"
"The house elves..." she whispered in his ear.
"So?"
"Poppy answers to you, yes?" she said, keeping her voice down so that none could hear her.
"Well, she is a Hogwarts house elf, but she does answer to me, yes," James replied, also having brought his down to a grumbling whisper.
"And how many other house elves might serve more than just Hogwarts?" she asked pointedly. James cleared his throat.
"Yes, alright, we'll save this conversation for later..."
Two bowls of soup, three dinner rolls and nearly an entire chicken later, Lily and James left the kitchens to continue their discussion in the privacy of her common room.
"Moody wants a private meeting," James explained, handing her the letter. They had seated themselves on Lily's couch and James had renewed the intensity of the fire in the hearth. She skimmed the letter as James continued. "I think he suspects you had a little more to do with it than you are letting on..."
"Which is entirely true."
"No need to hold back form Moody, Evans. It's best if he knows the truth. He's not exactly a legilimens, but he can tell when he's being lied to. We can just tell Moody everything and leave it to him to edit it however he wants to put down for the 'official' record."
"You say official record like it's a joke."
"It is in some ways... See the thing is, we don't know who in the ministry is on the Dark Lord's side. We don't think Crouch, Moody's boss, the head of Magical law enforcement, is a dark wizard, but what ever goes on the record can be read my most ministry officials, see?"
"Is it really that bad?"
"Worse. We've estimate that as much as 15 percent of ministry officials are under you know who's control. Not necessarily Death Eaters... but either coerced, or imperioused to do the dark lord's bidding."
"That's a rather frightening statistic."
"Prophet too... It's only a matter of time before it completely turns into the Death Eater Times..."
"Well I might have guessed that..." Lily said, reclining on to her couch and closing her eyes. "So you think it is going to get worse before it gets better?"
"Honestly? I do. From what I've heard, he who must not be named is expanding his influence all the time. Even in foreign countries, foreign beasts and wizards are being recruited. We've had records of giant attacks. Giants, who don't even live in Britain."
"I know," she said sleepily.
"And there are more and more attacks. More and more people are taking their children out of Hogwarts. After this you can be sure there will be more withdrawals. St. Mungo's healers are overworked with the frightening increase in patients... Yes, I think it will most certainly get worse before it gets better... Evans?
She had pretended to fall asleep and James obviously thought she had.
"Merlin, not exactly the best bed time story..." he mumbled to himself. "That's bound to give anyone nightmares..." He gave her head a stroke before saying, "Night, Evans. You were brilliant," and left.
Lily had purposefully had pretended to fall asleep on the cloak, forcing James to leave without it. This was not only to deprive him of the cloak so that he wouldn't do anything so infuriating (and wonderful) like an invisible massage, but also so that she would have a way of sneaking up to the astronomy tower unseen.
Yes, she was Head Girl and she didn't have the curfew the rest of the student's did, but she'd rather not be seen all the same. She wasn't in the mood for answering any questions. She just wanted to talk to Sirius Black, this phantom of a man who had somehow played a hand in her life without actually making an appearance.
When he had left she thought she was in very real danger of actually falling asleep. She couldn't keep her eyes open. She didn't dare cancel on Sirius, so at 20 to midnight she took three swallows of her latest creation. She'd be wide awake the whole night.
'Good,' she thought as she strode towards the castle doors. 'Because there is much I wish to discuss with Mr. Black...'
x
James popped in to make sure she wouldn't sleep through the midnight feeding, but she was already gone to Hagrid's. He decided he wouldn't wait for her. She needed sleep. So did he as a matter of fact. With that noble thought in mind, he went back to his room and went to bed. He fell asleep easily, knowing that all of Lily's immediate threats were taken care of...
x
At 12:45 Lily crept up to the astronomy tower. She heaved the large wooden door opened and then shoved it closed behind her.
"Lily..."
Lily gasped and turned around, completely startled. She knew it would be Sirius Black before she even saw him, but knowing that fact still didn't prepare her for the sight that met her eyes when she did.
She had been a mere girl of 12 when she had properly seen him last. Her older and more mature eyes could now appreciate his stunning form. She had seen him in the mirror twice, but that only captured part of his face, and didn't allow credit where credit was due. His hair, his physique, his bearing, his everything... It was almost overwhelming. Lily's breath had caught in her chest and she could barely breathe at the sight of him, his radiance too disarming...
"Sirius Black..." she finally whispered, regaining her breath.
"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you..." he said stepping towards her concernedly, taking her gasp and look of shock to be that of alarm instead of awed fascination.
"No, it's alright..." She said, calming down. "I just wasn't expecting you 'til 1..."
"I've been here since midnight..."
"Sorry I had to feed..."
"Mercury, I know. I just thought that it would be pleasanter to wait here than... well, anywhere else I suppose. I could see you from here. If you stand by the edge you can see all the way down to Hagrid's... just barely."
"I know..."she said. Lily was surprised. She had been expecting cheap wit and perhaps an insincere but creative pick up line or two. Instead he was tranquil, as if her arrival had interrupted some deep meditation he hadn't quite yet left.
There was a moment of silence, both of them not exactly sure of what to say, but perfectly content not to speak until they did.
"James told me about this afternoon..." he began finally.
"And?"
"And that's what happens when you date a Slytherin instead of me..." he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows, playing into her previous expectations.
"Sirius..."
"No I'm joking. It was a very valiant thing you did today. I'm sure the ministry is very grateful."
"They aren't..."
"What?"
"I couldn't tell them I was aware of the plot without exposing James. I'm not supposed to know he's an auror, you see. So I played stupid, saying 'Professor Potter happened to be at the right place at the right time, thank Merlin... blah blah blah.'"
"Well, it was brave nonetheless. At least Prongsie and I know it..."
"That's enough for me..."
"I alone am generally enough for most women."
"Well I'm not most women."
"I'm becoming more and more aware of that the more I know of you."
"I'd say that I'm a bit too much for most men."
"I'd believe that too... the number of times you seem to be put in life and death situations would put grey hairs on any man."
"And we wouldn't want our most promising Witch Weekly model with grey hairs now would we?"
"I don't know, I think a nice streak of grey would suit me, make me look... mature and sophisticated..."
"Indubitably. So why modelling? I mean, of course you are handsome and you just scream sex appeal but somehow you strike me as a man who would rather be doing something worthwhile." Sirius grinned madly at this blasé mix of praise and criticism.
"Making witches across the land cream themselves isn't worthwhile?"
"A noble goal, to be sure, but I was thinking of a different kind of worthwhile..."
Sirius gave a hollow sort of chuckle. "You know James and I, along with Remus were at the top of our year. All three of us were going to be aurors... that was our dream. Our goal. Of course Moony always said they'd never take a werewolf, and he was right. The ministry is so prejudiced about these things, and people fail to realise that werewolves are only dangerous one night a month, but still, Moony was rejected. Then me... not a werewolf, but still unsuitable. I'm a Black you see."
"Ok, so the Ancient and Noble house of Black are purebloods, but pureblood doesn't equal dark wizard..."
"No. The Ministry hires lots of purebloods, loves pure bloods... in every other section but for dark wizard catchers..."
"But James is..."
"Oh yes, but ol' Prongs doesn't have a Death Eater for a brother..."
"What?!"
"Well, had. Dead now, Regulus."
"Sirius I'm so sorry."
"We were never very close..."
"No, I mean I'm sorry that you were discriminated against because of your family... That's very unfair."
"Prongs was the only one to be accepted in the end. He tried to get them to take me but still no luck. By then I'd already landed a few gigs... not that I actually need them. My uncle left me his place. Nice place. Enough gold to live on."
"But to be forced into inaction! Surely there must be something you can do."
"Being an auror is all I've ever wanted to do. What's left for me?" Lily thought about it. She couldn't talk to Sirius directly about the order, but she could ask Dumbledore to let him join. And Remus. Both were very clever and capable wizards, the order might find some use for them.
"I'll think of something, Sirius. I promise. I'll get you your opportunity to fight dark wizards..."
"I suppose all I'd have to do is follow you around for a few days. You seem to attract them."
"I'm sad to say that you aren't the first person with that logic. Except you're the only one fool enough to want to stick around. Everyone else seems to want to keep their distance..."
"Sorry Lils..."
"Not your fault I'm a Death magnet."
"Don't call yourself that."
"It's true though. You know... James said that that necklace might have made me a bit morbid, well, maybe so, and maybe this is the curse talking, but somehow, I feel like my purpose in life is to die..."
