Author's Note: There's lots of P.O.V. switching in this chapter, but I still like it.

This chapter also has cameos from Bleach, Homestuck, and Harry Potter.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece, The Hunger Games, the song Tik Tok, Bleach, Homestuck, or Harry Potter.


It feels like Heathcliffe and I are in some twisted race - We're both running away from poisonous fog with Ace and Isabella on our backs.

"This sucks!" Heathcliffe cries. Isabella pimp-slaps Heathcliffe.

"Shut up!" Isabella yells. Heathcliffe stops running and takes Isabella off his back. I do the same with Ace.

"You know what? I'm not carrying you anymore!" Heathcliffe yells. Isabella crosses her arms.

"Fine! You're on you're on, Heathcliffe!" Isabella yells before she storms off toward the poisonous fog.

"Wait, Isabella! That's the poisonous fog!" Heathcliffe yells.

"I know that, dumbass! I'm going to the Soul Society without you!" Isabella yells back. "I'll see you after I begin work under Toushirou Hitsugaya!"

Isabella then floats into the poisonous fog. All of us have the OMG face.

"Bitch," Heathcliffe mutters under his breath.


Isabella's P.O.V.

Yeah! I made it! I finally passed on to the Soul Society!

"I'm going to work for Hitsugaya! I'm going to work for Hitsugaya!" I say in a sing-song voice as I skip down the streets of Rukonagi. But, I bump into the last person I want to see in the Soul Society.

"Hello, Isabella Sarutobi."

I am now face-to-face with Sosuke Aizen, the guy who betrayed the Soul Society.

Oh, shit.


Hana's P.O.V.

It's now down to myself, Heathcliffe, and Ace. It's now morning, and we're sitting on the beach.

"I miss home," I say with a sigh.

"We all do. In fact, I miss taking a hot shower," Heathcliffe says.

"I miss my yaoi," I say.

"I miss sleeping," Ace says.

"You know, you could do that right now," I point out.

"Oh, yeah! I can sleep here in the arena, too! Good-night!" Ace says before he falls asleep. Then, a monkey wearing an eye patch and wielding a shanking knife jumps from the sky. Right when he is about to stab Ace, Doflamingo jumps in front of Ace to take the stab hit.

"I see Double Rainbows..." Doflamingo says before he dies and a hovercraft picks him up. Heathcliffe and I sweatdrop.

"Where were we? Oh, yeah. I miss my girlfriend, Aki Chung-Feng," Heathcliffe says.

"Was she the Chinese girl at the Reaping?" I ask.

"Yep. She's really beautiful, but she has terrible nightmares about her Hunger Games," Heathcliffe explains.

"Weren't her Hunger Games a rehash of the movie The Hangover?" I ask. Heathcliffe sighs.

"Yep. To this day, Aki still has nightmares of being left on the roof of Caesar's Palace," Heathcliffe explains.

"There you are! We've been looking for you!"

Robin, Usopp, and Kaya approach us. Usopp is carrying a metal lunchbox and Kaya looks disturbed.

"Hey, guys! What happened to you?" I ask.

"Ch-Chopperman... He... HE'S DEAD!" Kaya shouts. I gasp.

"Oh, no! What happened?" I ask.

"Well, it all started when the great Captain Usopp and his crew were -" Usopp tells us before Heathcliffe cuts him off.

"Tell us the truth, Usopp. Nobody likes a consummate liar," Heathcliffe states. Usopp sighs.

"Emo boy," Usopp says under his breath. "Okay, here's what happened -"


*Begin Flashback, Several Hours Ago (Third Person P.O.V)*

Chopperman, Robin, Usopp, and Kaya wandered the arena in search of their allies and/or food.

"Ace? Ace? Where are you, buddy?" Chopperman called out.

"Hana? Hana, can you hear me?" Robin called out.

"Isabella? Are you here?" Kaya called out

"Hey, Heathcliffe Sarutobi the Emo Man-Whore, we found your girlfriend and she's naked! Come scre-" Usopp yelled before Robin put a hand over Usopp's mouth.

"Why are you saying things like that? Aki could be watching, you know," Robin asked Usopp as she uncovered his mouth.

"Oh, that was the signal Heathcliffe and I agreed on if we got seperated from each other in the arena," Usopp explained. The bushes around them began to rustle. "See, look, there's Heathcliffe right now. He's probably going to kill me for lying to him about his girlfriend, but, hey, I had a pretty decent life outside of the Hunger Games."

Then, Apis came out of the bushes with the Midnight Crew from Homestuck.

"It's... It's Don Apis, new leader of the Midnight Crew! And Spades Slick! And Ace Dick! And Diamond Droog! And Hearts Boxcars!" Usopp cried. Apis snapped her fingers.

"Gentlemen, we're whacking the racoon tonight," Apis told the Midnight Crew.

"I'm a reindeer, not a human!" Chopper yelled before the Midnight Crew fired their Tommy guns at the Tributes. Usopp, Kaya, and Robin managed to duck into some bushes, where they saw Chopperman's corpse being taken away by a hovercraft.

"Our work here is done, boys. Let's go," Apis told the Midnight Crew.

"Where are we going next?" Spades Slick asked.

"We're going to go take out The Felt," Apis said before she left with her mafia family. When the coast was clear, Usopp, Robin, and Kaya emerged from the bushes.

"Oh, Dear Lord!" Kaya yelled.

*End Flashback, Revert to the Present*


Hana's P.O.V.

Wait... Holden's little sister killed Chopperman? How does this even compute?

"Chopperman wasn't much, but he was was a superhero back home. They were even going to make a musical about his life," Robin said sadly. We grow silent.

"Well... Let's set up camp," I say. True to my word, a few minutes later, we have a camp set up. Ace sleeps, Usopp fishes, Robin watches out for the other Tributes, Kaya hums a Ke$ha song to herself as she whittles something, I make a fire, and Heathcliffe strips off his shirt and shoes.

"What are you doing, Heathcliffe?" I ask.

"I'm gonna go take a bath. Got any soap?" Heathcliffe asks me.

"We don't," Kaya says. Heathcliffe gives us an annoyed sigh.

"Well, do you have any shampoo so I could at least wash my hair?" Heathcliffe asks us.

"Heathcliffe, this is a televised fight to the death, not a male beauty pageant. Right now, you should focus on your survival instead of your pretty-boy looks," Usopp explains bluntly. Heathcliffe glares at Usopp.

"The sponsors can send me something. As for you, they can just send you a can of canned bread," Heathcliffe says icily. We all grow silent. It's just like those awkward moments at summer camp.

"Don't stop, make it pop. DJ, blow my speakers up. Tonight, I'mma fight 'til we see the sunlight. Tik tok, on the clock, but the party don't stop now. Woah, woah-oh. Woah, woah-oh," Kaya sings. The rest of us sweatdrop.

"Usopp... What did you do to Kaya?" I ask the boy with the long nose.

"Well, Hana, I think Kaya went crazy when the Midnight Crew killed Chopperman," Usopp explains. "That, or, Kaya's in the mood for singing."

"Why Ke$ha though? She's a slut who can't sing," Heathcliffe asks Usopp, who shrugs.

"No clue," Usopp answers.

"Don't stop, make it pop. DJ, blow my speakers up. Tonight, I'mma fight 'til we see the sunlight. Tik tok, on the clock, but the party don't stop now. Woah, woah-oh. Woah, woah-oh," Kaya sings again. It's then that I realize something -

This area is shaped like a clock. Every hour, a new danger occurs in one of the sections. So far, we've seen poison fog, monkeys with shanking knives, and members of the mafia.

"Kaya, you're a genius!" I say as I glomp Kaya, who sweatdrops.

"Okay?" Kaya questions.

"What are you talking about?" Robin asks me.

"I'll tell you later," I say as I let go of Kaya.

"Oi, tell us what later?"

Zoro and Perona approach us. As if on cue, all of us (except for Ace) scream.

"Come at me, bro!" Heathcliffe yells as he brandishes his scythe.

"Captain Usopp is here to save the day!" Usopp yells as he gets out a slingshot and a giant hammer. Perona and Zoro are one step ahead of us, since Perona has a mace and Zoro has three katanas - Two in his hands and one in his mouth.

"Zoro, who should we kill first?" Perona asks Zoro, who points his katana at Kaya. "Fair enough. I get the Dead Parrot, the pretty-boy, and the sleeping guy."

As Perona steps toward me, I shoot my Portal gun right where she will step and then I make another Portal behind Zoro. Perona steps into the Portal and falls on top of Zoro right when he is about to stab Kaya in the shoulder. Then, things get downright weird. Right after Perona falls on Zoro, they fall on Kaya, and then all three of them fly off into the distance.

Heathcliffe, Robin, Usopp, and I sweatdrop right when Ace wakes up.

"What just happened?" Ace asks us.

"Uhh... I think the situation could be summed up like this - One of Zoro's swords is a Portkey, and he ended up flying off with Perona and Kaya," I explain.

"What the fuck?" Ace mouths. I sigh.

"These Games get weirder and weirder every year," Usopp comments. "I mean, I'm no stranger to this stuff. During my Games, our arena was the Playboy Mansion."

We laugh.

"Really? Well, during my Hunger Games, the District 1 girl sang a song by Justin Bieber, and her District partner had to duct tape her mouth shut. And this was during the Reaping," Robin says.

"At least her District partner did the right thing," Heathcliffe says. "Wanna know what happened during my Hunger Games?"

"Sure!" I say.

"Well, our arena was the swamp from The Princess and the Frog, and the arena outfits the Tributes had to wear were bathing suits. My stylist made me wear a rather short pair of swim trunks that ALMOST passed for a Speedo, because he said that Hot Topic didn't sell swimsuits. Well, sometime during my Games, I somehow got lice, and my sponsors sent me lye soap to get rid of it. Since I wasn't near a sink or anything, I had to wash my hair in the swamp. I felt filthy, and I had to wash my hair twice when I got out of the arena," Heathcliffe explains. We all laugh.

"I'm surprised nobody called you 'Swamp Head'," Usopp says. Heathcliffe's expression darkened.

"They did," Heathcliffe says darkly.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, I remember this one year where a Tribute from District 1 ordered a pizza during the interview. He won the Games, and they call him 'Pizza Sauce'," I say. Robin chuckles.

"Look at us. We're supposed to be killing each other slowly, but instead, we're all bonding," Robin notes.

"Can't say the same for Kaya, Zoro, and Perona," I add.


Third Person P.O.V.

Zoro's Portkey sent him, Kaya, and Perona to the last place you'd expect in this parody - Hogwarts.

"Oi, is this the Hunger Games arena?" Zoro asked the Boy Who Lived.

"Hunger Games? What are the Hunger Games?" Harry asked Zoro, who facepalmed.

"Look, have you heard of a nation called 'Panem'?" Zoro asked Harry.

"No, I haven't," Harry said before the bell rang. "Sorry, I can't talk. I have to get to class, or else Professor Snape will take away more points from Gryffindor."

Harry ran away from the lost Tributes, who sweatdropped.

"Next year, we're all going to play Sburb with John, Rose, Jade, and Dave instead of playing the Hunger Games," Zoro told Perona and Kaya.


Ending Note: Man, this chapter was crazy!

Review if you want to see more craziness in the arena.