I thought that Let It Go by James Bay was a good song to listen to while reading this chapter.


X~Talia~X

Tears. Everyone had tears in their eyes and I let mine slide down my cheeks, but I wasn't scared. Unlike every vicious, hardcore biker in this room, I was the only one that didn't have an ounce of terror or panic in me. There was no uncertainty in my mind. I felt at ease and Jayden was in my thoughts. My sweet son with his charming smile and big heart. He was so kind and helpful. He loved his family and Jessica was all he could think about. From the minute he held her, I knew he had a deep attachment to his sister and he got to be a big brother like he wanted.

I remembered when Austin and Jayden started their first days of First Grade. Jayden was so excited to be around other kids and he was bouncing around all morning. He was asking Austin a million questions about what school would be like and what he thought they would do. He didn't cry and attach himself to me when we got to the building either. He gave me a hug and ran into the doors. In the middle of the year when Austin got moved up a grade, Jayden didn't think anything of it. He wasn't sad to be separated from his brother or jealous that he was moving up. Austin was the one who didn't like the change at first. He wanted to stay with his brother and he cried on his first day of Second Grade. He started to accept the separation from his brother when he realized he'd see him everyday at lunch and recess.

My boys were polar opposites though. Austin's always been quiet, but Jayden was more vocal and often spoke for the both of them when they were kids. When they grew up, Austin got a bit more talkative, but Jayden was a social butterfly. Austin would come home and have a story to tell about his brother flirting with the girls at school or how he managed to get detention for something. On parent-teacher nights, every one of Jayden's instructors would tell me that he questioned everything. It was as much of a blessing as it was a curse because his questions would either be too advanced for them to answer or he'd get the class laughing at him. My son almost started a riot in his history class when they were learning about the American Revolutionary War. The teacher divided the class into 2 groups: Redcoats and Colonists. Jayden was put in the Redcoat army, but he refused to support either side. He wanted to be the Native Americans that were caught in the middle of the war and decided to make his own army with students who saw eye-to-eye with him. They called themselves the Wahewa Warriors.

Jayden was so unique and he tried to make his life just as peculiar as he was. He loved all kinds of music, he wanted to travel to places in the world that people have forgotten, he wanted to see all the mysteriously bizarre things that lurked in the shadows of life and I loved how adventurous he was. He would've grown up to become something amazing and he would've loved the excitement he got from his job. He'd probably try to go pro with soccer or he'd take up BMX-ing because that was his latest fascination. He wanted to learn all the current tricks and invent his own. We were going to go pick out a bike for him on the weekend...

A smile grew on my lips and I knew it was full of unadulterated happiness, but I probably looked like a deranged animal. Based on how the Sons were still looking at me, I'm sure they thought I had to have lost what was left of my sanity. I wasn't crazy. Despite being detained in a mental hospital, there wasn't anything wrong with me and I could normally function in society. Just because I killed people and thought that fire was an amazing thing, and that it was a bit on a turn-on, that didn't mean there was something wrong with me. The Sons were the ones who had problems, they were the ones who needed to be evaluated and seek help. I faced my demons head on while they avoided and buried theirs. My latest fiend was made of lies and pain that stemmed from these men. There had to be some form of punishment for what they've done because that was another one of their problems. There's no discipline. These men were just wild and lawless without a sense of what's right or wrong.

I looked at each member again and when my eyes fell on Quinn and Montez, I did feel slightly bad about what was about to happen to them. They didn't have anything to do with Jayden's death because they've been doing grunt work since their patch-in. I briefly thought about letting them walk out of here, but I decided against it. Just because they were new to this charter didn't mean they weren't Sons before. They both had blood on their hands.

"Don't do this, Tal." As if he knew I was thinking about him, Jax's voice disrupted my thoughts and I looked at the blonde man. "This isn't the way to solve your problems. Doing this is gonna cause a shit storm of trouble in all the other charters and think about who else you'll be hurting. Fiona and Kerrianne, Donna, Kenny and Ellie, Precious and Tiki, Gemma and Tara. She's pregnant, Tal. She just told me this morning. This is gonna be my first kid. You want him or her to grow up without a Dad?"

"Without a Son for a Dad? Yes. If it's a boy, you'll expect him to join the Club and he will. He'll kill for it and be killed by it. If it's a girl, she could grow up to be a Crow Eater or worse, she'll be a Son's Old Lady. This destructive lineage needs to stop breeding, Jackson. Don't you understand that?"

"What about your son and daughter, Talia?" Opie said from his seat and I tilted my head a bit. "What about Austin and Jessica? I think about my kids everyday and I would do anything to get Donna to come back to me. What are your kids gonna do without their Mother, Tal?"

"They'll live." Was all I said and it was self-explanatory.

Austin would be 18 in a few months and I know he'd get into the Army, so I didn't have to worry about him. He'd be able to get away from this awful town. Jessica would be taken care of too. Tara would get custody of her if I died. When I talked to her about it, she said she wouldn't let my daughter be raised by the Club like I was. She'd have a normal life without Harleys and guns. At first, Gemma was going to be the person to take care of Jessica, but I actually thought about what that would mean. Gemma took me under her wing and taught me how to be an Old Lady since I was 16. She prepared me for anything the Club could go through and how to help them, but she didn't prepare me for how to deal with my child being killed by this damned Club. She would've done the same thing to Jessica, groomed her to be an Old Lady. I didn't want that. I wanted my daughter to fall in love with a righteous man that didn't have a track record or a warrant or has ever taken someone's life. I didn't even want her to grow up in Charming anymore. I just wanted her away from all the insanity this Club brings before she got destroyed by it like her Mother did.

I didn't have any resentment to the matriarch. I loved Gem as if she were my Mother and I called her Mom. She took me in and showed me how to be a strong woman that men drooled over, but other women were jealous of. She made me put myself of the highest pedestal and think I was flawless. Until Tara came along, she was the only woman who I considered a friend and she knew me as well as she knew the Sons.

I heard Clay start to talk again and he was trying to convince me that he was responsible, but his voice started to fade until it was silent. Nothing was changing my mind and I was going to be as selfish as the Sons were. Even with me starting to tune out everything, I did hear someone knock on the doors and they opened.

"Clay, David's outside looking for-" Gemma stopped and her eyes went wide at the explosive on her husband's chest. She looked at me and her expression changed to painful horror. "What's going on, honey?" She asked in the gentlest voice.

"Gem, just get outta here. We got this under control." Clay said in a firm voice and Gemma's thick lashes batted as her eyes filled with tears.

"I wasn't talking to you, Clay." Her husband must've tried to say something else because she put her hand up to stop him. She looked out into the bar before closing the leather door. Her eyes met mine and she had the same anguished look from when she was at Jayden's funeral. "What's all this about, Talia?"

"...it hurts so much, Gem." My voice quivered and more tears streamed down my cheeks. My throat was burning from trying to keep myself under control and not start bawling.

"Jayden?" She asked and I nodded.

"All the time, everyday...it hurts." I looked to Tig and Gemma's eyes followed mine. "He killed our son and he doesn't even care, Gem...everything I love is being taken away from me because of him or this Club and I'm sick of it."

"It's not Tig's fault. He didn't want that to happen." Gemma cooed and I looked at her. "I know you're in pain and you're gonna be hurting for a long time, but it's gonna pass. I was hurting when my Thomas died and I blamed everyone. JT acted like our little boy didn't die and I wanted him to feel some kind of pain. Men don't hurt and grieve like women do, but Tig cares. He loves you and he loved his son. It took a mistake for me to figure that out and you're about to make the same one I did. I taught you better than that, Tal. You can't sulk in sadness. You've got to pick yourself up and get stronger. If I could do it, you can too, sweetheart."

"I can't...it's too much." I shook my head and Gemma did too.

"I know you've never been through this kinda pain, but you can do it. C'mere, baby." She opened her arms to me. "I'm gonna be there with you for every step and I'm gonna help you through this. Take the first step, Tal."

I was silently bawling now, little whimpers escaping. I didn't know how to deal with this kind of pain, but Gemma did and I should've gone to her for help. Gemma's been through every kind of pain a woman could experience and she could write books on how to get through the darkest days. She was the all-knowing healer. She was going to give me what I've wanted to get from Tig. She'd be my solace because Gemma wouldn't ever turn her back on me.

I sniffled and lowered the gun from the back of Clay's head. Gemma nodded and I slowly inched my other hand down until it was leveled with the table. Gem smiled at me, but I felt something around my wrist and everything was a whirlwind of blurs. I knew Jax grabbed my wrist and began to wrestle the detonator out of my hand while managing to get me on the ground. I heard all the Sons bolt from their seats and some of their chairs got knocked over in their haste, but their boot covered feet were stomping everywhere. Jax got the detonator out of my hand and I re-tightened my grip on my pistol while he straddled me. His electric blue eyes locked on the gun and without thinking, I pulled the trigger.

Everyone was yelling now and Jax was off me, slumped against the wall next to the loveseat. When I got on my feet, I aimed the gun at the first leather-coated back I could focus on. Gem wasn't at the door anymore, but I had a Reaper in my sights. It was about to be open season for me and the game was the Sons. This had to be Quinn or Opie due to their height and when I fired again, I missed, but was slammed against a wall...by Juice. I never knew how strong he was, but Jesus Christ, I really noticed it now. He was almost as strong as Happy.

Juice had my free hand pinned up, his chest was keeping me trapped against the wall and he was trying to get the gun out of my hand. He was forcing me to bring it up and I knew he was going to bang my hand against the wall to make me drop it. I attempted to kick him in the nuts, but my knee came up to his gut and he let out a small grunt. I got my free hand from his grip and raked my nails over his face.

Juice yelped and I shoved him off me. He landed on his back on the table and I had the gun pointed on his head. His cheek was bleeding from when I scratched him and from the blood trickling down his throat, I cut pretty deep. Clay was gone, but I didn't care about him right now. I'd find him and he'd get his, all the Sons would.

"Tal." Juice sadly called me.

"You turned on me too?" I growled through my panting. "I thought I could trust you, Juice. You told me I was your sister and that you'd do anything for me. It was just you and me, remember? We're the strays and you told me we had to stick together though thick and thin."

"You're trying to kill everyone, Talia! You expected me to just sit back and wait my turn?!" He snapped.

"You should've. Maybe I would've let you go." I sneered.

I didn't even have Juice anymore. This Club turned him against me and I realized that I was on my own, that I always have been. It's always been kill or be killed, but I'd never think that the one man I once considered blood would turn on me. Juice was a stranger to me now and I had a job to do. I'd make him the prime example that I was not fucking around. I locked eyes with Juice and his clenched shut when I pulled the trigger, but all I heard was a click. I didn't even have a round in the chamber. I should've checked how many bullets were in the pistol before I came in here. The damn thing wasn't even mine.

Another hand clamped around my wrist and it pulled me into something hard. As I struggled against it, I started to smell something...sage and lemongrass. Tig pried my hand open and tossed the gun out of my hand, only needing one arm to keep me subdued. He turned me around and my back was to his chest. He locked my hands in front of me and lifted me, pushing the chapel doors open. When we got into the bar, I saw Bobby and Montez cutting clay out of the tape while Opie had the C4 in his hands. Gemma was struggling to get out of Quinn's hold and screaming at Tig to let her talk to me, but he was ignoring her.

I was thrashing in Tig's hold and screaming threats. He was taking us down the hall of the dorms and I somehow managed to use enough power to make him slam into the wall next to JT's bike. With a growl, he tossed me over his shoulder and didn't seem to notice me punching at his back with all the force I could muster. He kicked a door opened and we were in his dorm. The door slammed against the wall and he slammed it shut, but it sounded like it cracked a little.

Tig threw me down on the bed and was trying to keep my hands away from him face because I was trying my damnedest to hit him. He got on the bed and was straddling me, limiting the movements of my flailing legs.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" He barked and pushed my hands down into the mattress. His eyes were seething with rage. "You could've killed someone, Talia! You could've gotten yourself killed!"

"What the hell does it matter to you?!" I snapped back. "You don't care about me! All you care about is this stupid Club!"

"I love you, Talia! I don't put anything or anyone over you!"

"You haven said a word to me in weeks, Alex! It took a death threat to your precious Club for you to even look at me! That's how you show how much you love somebody?!"

Tig and I screamed at each other for what felt like days, his Club and Jayden being the base of it all. He didn't let me up, but he did let my wrist go and he'd push me into the bed whenever I tried to get up. This would mark the first time this man has ever gotten angry with me and I thought I'd never see the day he snapped. I never gave Tig a reason to be mad at me. I cooked for him, made sure he came home to a clean house, I did the things he liked in bed. When I put on a lot of makeup, he told me to take it off because he didn't like it. I didn't dress like a whore and I never flirted with another man. I have been the perfect girlfriend and wife to this man, but what have I gotten in return? A half-assed father who knows what he's doing in bed and a dead son. That was my reward.

Tig let me up because he started pacing around the room and we just kept yelling at each other. I noticed how he'd hit the wall every few minutes and back away from me, but I'd always get in his space again. I was provoking him because this was the most display of emotions I've seen in weeks. He's been this cold, statue and I hated it, but I was getting a reaction out of him today. I was feeding off his rage. Things got a little more physical and I started pushing him or punching him in the chest. That would get a rise out of him, but he never even raised his hand to me in a threatening way. Was it bad that I wanted him to hit me? I didn't want to get into a physical fight with him and Tig's never laid a finger on me, but for some strange reason, I wanted him to.

"You're not the only one in pain, Talia!" Tig barked. "I lost my son too! Don't you think I've been going through the same shit you are?!"

"I wouldn't know! You don't come home, you don't talk to me anymore! You stay away from what little family you have left to run around playing bad boy biker!"

"I grieve differently than you do, Tal! I've been though this before, I've lost people all my life! I'm sorry that I don't come crying to you every time I think about Jayden! That's now how I cope with death! I haven't been coming home because I don't wanna see you hurting, angel! It fucking hurts to see you cry and I can't stand it! Then Austin's always screaming at me-"

"So you completely give up on him?!"

"Austin doesn't want me in his life and I'm doing what he wants me to, staying out of it! I knew he hated me and I tried to tell you that your son-"

"My son?! The kid is in pieces because he lost his little brother, Alex!"

"So it's okay for him to take it out on me?!"

"He has the right to! Jayden would still be here if it wasn't for you! You decided to be reckless and ran down Veronica! That was so careless and you knew it was, Clay knew it was a stupid move! You know what? He is my son! Just like Jayden was my son and Jessica is my daughter! You didn't raise those kids, Alex! I did! I have been Mom and Dad to them since the days they were born!" I threw my hands up and turned my back to him, trying to simmer down. "I knew I shouldn't have done this."

"Shouldn't have done what?" Tig questioned and I rolled my eyes. "You shouldn't have married me? Are you fucking serious, Talia?!"

"Yes!" I turned back to him, rage boiling over. "I shouldn't have married you, I shouldn't have laid down with you and I sure as hell shouldn't have given you kids because you don't deserve them! You don't deserve anything or anyone! I knew you were bad news and I knew you were going to fuck me up even more than I already was, but I still fell in love with you! Why the hell didn't you push me away, Alex?! I was 18, a stupid, naïve teenager, but you didn't care! I bet you would've slept with me if I was 16! You'll sleep with anything that has a goddam pulse! Jesus Christ, you'll sleep with something even if it doesn't have a pulse! Where the hell do you get off, Alex?! When do you stop?!"

Tig looked a little shocked when I brought up his apparent Necrophilia, but I knew about it. After it slipped out from Jax, I started noticing all the jokes from the Sons about Tig having sex with a corpse and I asked Clay about it. Of course, I got the President drunk as ever, but he told me about his Sergeant-At-Arms dark fetish and it was egregious to say the least. I wondered if Tig was doing this when we were together and the thought of him being with me after he's been with a dead body sent stomach churning chills down my spine.

I was letting out all the things I've been keeping bottled up. Tig wanted to be a Dad, but he didn't understand that he had to actually raise his children to attain that title. I've been raising our kids, I've been teaching them life lessons, I've been keeping them on the right track. What has he done? He buys them gifts and if I'm lucky, he'll spend an entire weekend with them. That wasn't being a father.

After more cursing, I just slapped Tig and I thought that would be his breaking point, but it wasn't. He warned me not to do it again and in an act of stubbornness, I hit him again. I was acting like a child, but I was feeding off of the emotions coming from him. I was basking in hearing his voice again because I missed him. After the second hit, Tig just stared at me for a minute and his eyes were black, his pupils deeply dilated.

I expected Tig to hit me back now and when he grabbed me, I knew he was going to. He proved me wrong and roughly kissed me instead. I halfheartedly pushed him away and he wrapped his arms around me, locking my arms at my sides. All the anger started to melt away. All the pain and despair were leaking out of me and I started crying again. Tig stopped kissing me and I just sobbed into his black shirt. I started sinking down and he got on the floor with me, pulling me in his lap. This is what I wanted. I wanted him to be close to me and let me know that he was there for me, that I still had him. When he just shut me out, I felt like he died too and I couldn't take it.

"I love you, Talia." Tig muttered into my hair and held me tighter. "I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me. Even being together all this time, I'm still not used to someone loving me and I didn't know what to do, so I left. That's what I'm used to, running away. I'm not gonna leave you, angel. I'm here, always will be."

We sat there for the longest time and Tig kept saying the sweetest things or apologizing to me, but something wasn't clicking. I was getting the affection I've been craving from him and it made me get a little buzz inside of me, but there was nothing now. I stopped crying and was just listening to his heartbeat. Of all the times I've gone to sleep on his chest and heard the soothing thumping, it wasn't doing anything for me right now.

Tig stood up with me in his arms and set me on his bed. I didn't notice it until he went to his closet, but he had Jack in there and he gave the big teddy bear to me. Jack was the only thing I had left of Happy and I had the bear locked in my embrace, remembering him. Tig told me he'd be back and he left. I heard the click of the lock, but I wasn't trapped in here. There was a sliding window in his bathroom that I could get out of, but I decided to stay in here and wait.

I knew Tig was out there inspecting the damage I caused and figuring out what was going to happen with me. Maybe the Club would vote for me to leave Charming and never come back. I'd pack up my kids and be gone before the sun set. We wouldn't ever come back. Then there was a possibility of a Mayhem vote. I took the President hostage and was seconds away from killing him. I probably killed Jax or I hurt him pretty bad. Juice got hurt too and I was about to blow the entire charter to pieces. 3 strikes and I'm out. When Mr. Mayhem was involved, the Sons put aside any and all feelings to make the vote legit. I wondered if that's what they were doing now.

I stared at the door and waited for Tig to come back. I couldn't even hear anyone talking out there. Eventually, I heard the lock click again and the door opened. Tig came in and he sat at the foot of the bed, putting his hand on my leg. He didn't look sad or upset, but serious.

"You almost killed Jax." He informed me, but I didn't respond. "The bullet grazed his temple, knocked him unconscious. And Clay, Jesus, you scared him half to death. I think he was crying a minute ago. Juice has got some deep scratches on his face, might have to get stitches. Everyone else is seriously shaken up about that little episode."

"What's the verdict?" I asked and Tig's eyebrows furrowed. "The Mayhem vote. What did they say?"

"Jesus Christ." Tig sighed and ran his hands over his face. He fully turned to me and took my hands in his. "There was no Mayhem vote and there's not gonna be one. Opie said that C4 was a dud, so it wouldn't have exploded. Chibs is working on Jax and he'll be fine. You didn't do anything to deserve a Mayhem vote, Talia. You're hurting over Jayden and I get that, we all do, but there's something else wrong. You almost blew up the MC. That's-that sounds like suicidal shit and that doesn't sound like you."

"You don't know me anymore, Alex. I don't even know who I am anymore." I mumbled.

"I do know you, Tal. I know that you don't want to kill yourself because if you wanted to die, you would've done it after Happy found you. You wouldn't have waited all this time."

"...take me back to Oregon." I pleaded and the tears instantly filled my eyes because I thought of Happy. I looked at Tig and I saw how pained he looked to see me about to cry. "I'd rather be sitting in a padded cell getting pills stuffed down my throat than staying here. I can't do this anymore. This life isn't working for me anymore."

"You just need some time to heal, Talia. A lot's happened to you recently and it just keeps piling on. If you need to go somewhere else for a little while or if you think you need to see someone, I understand. I'll get you whatever you think you need and the boys wanna help too. You've got people here for you, angel. We all love you and we wanna help you."

Tig pulled me to him and hugged me, but I didn't wrap my arms around him. What I needed was for my son to be alive and for this Club to stay out of my life. When Tig let me go, he told me that he wanted me to stay here for a few days and that someone would be here to get whatever I needed. He told me that David was here looking for me too. I guess he finally wanted to get some information about the Den burning down. Tig didn't say if I was allowed to talk to the Deputy Chief, but I knew I was supposed to keep the Club out of it if I did.

Tig gave me a kiss on the head and said that Tara had Jessica at her house, leaving afterwards. Austin was going to be out late after school and he'd probably call me when he was on his way in. I was going to ask him if he could spend the night at Damien's just so he wouldn't have to be home because I knew he didn't want to be there.

Here I was again, alone and with my thoughts of death or disappointment. I couldn't even destroy a motorcycle clubhouse or even cause a bit of damage. All of the Sons were still in once piece and Jax would probably be pissed at me when he woke up, but that was going to pass. I didn't know how Juice would be, but I honestly didn't care. I wanted out of this life and I wanted to be free of this Club. I was tempted to slice this goddamn Crow off me.

I was still thinking about Happy though. I wondered what he was doing and how he was dealing being away from Charming. Maybe he found a woman and fell in love with her. I had to laugh at that thought. I think Happy was incapable of falling in love with someone, but that didn't mean he had no feelings. He loved his brothers in this charter and he loved me. He's never met my kids, but he probably loved them too. The big question on my mind was what he'd do if he saw me again. Would he run or just be silent? Would he tell me to stay away from him or would he tell me he missed me and hug me? Anything could happen and I wanted to know.

I knew the Sons probably had Miles and Rat guarding the door to keep me in the clubhouse. That was fine because I wasn't going to waltz out the front door. Where was the fun in that? I knew Tig had a gun stashed somewhere in here and I found one in his dresser. I clicked off all the lights in the room and tucked Jack under the blankets. In the dark, it looked like someone was sleeping. I went into the bathroom and opened the window, standing on the toilet to give me a boost. I slid out and landed on my feet. I looked around and I realized I was behind the clubhouse where the stacked tires were along the gate. There weren't any cameras back here.

I climbed one of the tire mountains and hopped the gate. The first thing I needed to do was get a car and that'd be easy enough. I walked down 2 blocks to put some distance between me and the clubhouse. When I came to a crosswalk, I waited until the light changed to red and walked in the middle of the street. A blue Honda Civic blared its horn at me, but came to a stop and the driver got out. It was a man that looked like he just started hitting the gym, but he was still pretty skinny.

"What are you doing, lady? You could've gotten hurt." The man got closer to me, still voicing his concern about almost hitting me, and I pulled my pistol out. He clammed up and started to raise his hands, but I told him to put them down.

I got in the car with the startled man and tied his seat belt around his hands, attaching it to the hook on the car's door. I knew how to get to Bakersfield from Charming I'd make it there in an hour from how fast I'd be driving. The man stayed quiet as we drove, but I could hear him muttering under his breath and I think he was praying. When I actually listened, I could clearly hear him citing verses from the Bible.

"You believe in God?" I asked and the man stiffed a yelp. "The Christian one?"

"Y-yes."

"Why?"

"H-He's helped me get through some of the darkest days of my l-life. I confess my transgressions a-and he forgives me. My faith in Him has been rewarded with p-protection and good luck. C-could you...please."

I looked at the man and he pointed to the rear-view mirror. Hanging on it was a rosary with blue and white beads. There was a wooden cross dangling on the end and I took it off to give it to the man. He clutched it in his hands and kept muttering his prayers. I wasn't too thrilled to hear them, but I didn't want to sit in silence.

For the rest of the hour, I sometimes asked the man questions and found out that his name was Noah. No surprise there. His father was a preacher and he ran a church with his mother. Noah's gone to catholic school all his life and he's been dating a woman, Abigail, for 2 years. He was planning on proposing to her and was on his way to pick up her ring from the jeweler until I stopped him. Noah cautiously asked me if I was going to kill him and I didn't answer. He's seen my face and I knew he'd go snitch to the cops, but I was still undecided. If I let him go, the cops would come for me. Being back in lockup seemed like a good thing right now. I'd be away from the Club and Austin could come visit me...

When we got to Bakersfield, I found the quiet neighborhood with lovely houses and we were parked across the street from a white one with a porch. This area was mainly populated by elderly residents and it was almost always quiet. A brunette came out of the house and she was wearing violet scrubs. She was the caretaker Happy hired. She came down the steps to the mailbox and headed back inside. I turned to Noah and he still had his eyes shut, grasping that cross. I struck him with the butt of my pistol twice and reclined his seat to make it look like he was sleeping in his car.

I got out and skipped up the steps of the white house. I rang the doorbell once and stepped back, waiting for the woman to answer. When she did, she smiled at me.

"Can I help you?"

"I need you to call your boss."

"I'm sorry?"

"The man who hired you to take care of his mother? Call him." The brunette looked like she was about to ask another question, so I flicked my shirt up to let her see the pistol tucked in my waistband.

Stiffly, she let me inside and I locked the door behind us. I had the gun on her back as she led us into the kitchen and took the phone off the wall. She took a paper out of her chest's pocket and dialed the number with trembling fingers.

"M-Mr. Lowman, it's Chrissy. I know you told me only to call if there's an emergency and there is one. Could you come to Bakersfield today? Okay...I'll see you soon." Chrissy kept a pretty clear voice during the call, but she let out a gasp when she hung up. "H-he said he'll be here in 20 minutes."

"Good. Is his Mom sleeping?"

"Y-yes...she just took her hourly medication." The woman began to cry and I rolled my eyes. I didn't want to hear her blubbering.

I sat down at the kitchen table with the brunette and just stared as she wept. I've done enough crying for one day and I didn't want to see or be around more of it. When the woman began to calm herself down, I started to hear the beeping of what sounded like a heart monitor in a nearby room. I've never met Happy's Mom, but he's brought me to this house when we were living in Oregon. I always picked a bouquet of flowers for her, but I stayed outside on the porch when he'd come to see her on his short visits.

When I heard a motorcycle roaring down the road, I got a nervous spark of happiness and I heard keys jingling. The door opened and heavy feet stomped through the house, going in the direction of the beeping. His raspy voice called for Chrissy and he found us in the kitchen. There he was and he looked exactly the same. His brown eyes were hard and forever held a frighting dominance, but I wasn't afraid of them. He was still just as muscular and I could see his tattoos poking out from the neckline of his wife-beater. His jaw was set and I saw it clench more when he looked at me.

"Hi, Happy." I tried and smiled a little. Happy didn't say anything and he didn't take his eyes off me when he stepped in the kitchen. He pulled Chrissy out of her seat and took her out of the room. I heard a door close and the beeping noise was silenced. Happy came back into the kitchen and sat across from me. "I wanted to see you. I didn't hurt your Mom and Chrissy's a little scared, but I didn't do anything to her either. I just...I miss you..."

"You on the run?" He asked in a low voice and I just took a minute to appreciate the sound of it.

"No. Not yet, at least. I almost killed everyone in the clubhouse today. I took Clay hostage, tapped him to a chair and stuck a block of C4 on him. Turns out, the damn thing was a dud." I scoffed, smirking. "I did shoot Jax though. The bullet scraped his temple, he'll be fine. Juice got a piece of me too."

"Was there a Mayhem vote?"

"No and apparently, there won't be one." I barely heard it, but Happy sighed and leaned back into his chair. He closed his eyes and rubbed one of them. I remembered he'd do that when I was a kid and I'd be pushing his buttons. Happy barely disciplined me as a child and I rarely needed it because he'd give me this look that told me to cut it out or else. "...did you hear about the Den?"

"Yeah. Kozik's dead...and so is Jayden." A bolt of pain struck through me and I bit the inside of my cheek as the tears filled my eyes again. Happy cleared his throat and I noticed him picking at the wooden table. "...I put flowers on his grave...Jayden's...I thought that'd be okay."

"Thank you." Happy nodded at me. "You've been up in Tacoma?"

"Nevada, sometimes Indian Hills. I'm drifting again, trying to stay close to her." He inclined his head and I knew he was talking about his Mother.

"You're not gonna come back to Charming." Happy glanced at me before setting his eyes downcast. I knew he wasn't and he did too. "...I shouldn't have told you to stay away from me."

"Yes, you should've. I shouldn't have done that to your father. I should've let you decide what kinda life you wanted to live." When I heard his chair creak, I looked up at him and his arms were on the table now. "Why'd you try to blow up the clubhouse?"

"Nobody knows I'm here, none of the Sons or Gemma, so you don't have to worry about anything." I ignored his question and smiled, feeling the tears stream down my cheeks. "I miss you, Happy. I really do. I just really wanted to see you again, make sure you're okay."

"What are you planning, Talia? It feels like you're saying goodbye." He asked in a deadpan tone and I just smiled more.

I got up from the table and Happy did too, mimicking my motions as I headed for the front door. Before I opened it, I turned to him and hugged him. I felt the warm skin exposed from his shirt's neckline on my cheek and I breathed him in. Happy always smelled like...home. I couldn't pinpoint what his scent was, but the smell of cigarettes and just hard work always clung to his leather. I pulled away from him and saw how hard he was looking at me. He knew something was up.

"I love you, Dad." Happy's steel eyes went totally soft and I kissed him on the cheek.

I walked out the door and I didn't even glance back at him. I did what I needed to do, got my closure that he was taking care of himself. When I got back into my hijacked car, Noah was still out cold and I started driving back to Charming. I dug in Noah's pockets and found his phone. I memorized Nero's personal number and dialed it. After 2 rings, he picked up.

"Talia? Hey, how are things going? You been doing okay?" He was such a sweet man.

"I've got a present for you, Nero."

"Oh? What's that?"

"20 eager, hard-working, sexy girls looking for jobs."

"You mean your Kittens? You wanna give them to me?"

"Technically, they were already yours. We're business partners, what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine, remember? "

"It kinda sounds like you want me to take over your half of Diosas del Amor, Tal." He let out half of a chuckle. "We picked out a new house and everything's coming together. You trying to tell me you don't wanna work with me? Is it because I'm Mexican? I'm a legal U.S. citizen, you know!" I laughed at Nero and heard him join in.

"I know you'll be able to take care of my girls and the Devils are ready to work, so you don't have to worry about protection. I'm not selling you my half either, Nero. I'm giving it to you. All I want in return is that you promise me you won't let the Sons get involved with the new cathouse."

"Talia-"

"Promise me, Nero." I heard him sigh and he muttered something in Spanish.

"...o-okay, Talia. I promise."

"Thank you, Nero. I'll have all their paperwork for you tomorrow. Can you stop by the clubhouse?"

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll come by at around 1...are you sure you're alright, Talia? I-I know the pain from losing Jayden must be-"

"I'll see you tomorrow." I hung up and took the battery out of the phone, then the SIM card, tossing them both out the window.

When I got back to Charming, I went to my house and it sounded like Austin was up in his room watching TV. I crept to my room and got the box of my copied documents on all my Kittens. I unlocked the safe from under my bed and took a few grands out, putting the stacks in a bag. When I was leaving, I peeked into Austin's room and saw him in there with Aria. They were sitting on the floor at the foot of his bed and Aria was laying on him, her back to his chest. Their fingers were tightly intertwined as they watched TV and I smiled at them. She made him happy and that's all I could ask for.

I went into the kitchen and got a marker from the drawer. I found a pen and wrote a little note for Austin, telling him that there was something in this bag for him with instructions on what to do with it before I set it on the counter. I snuck back out and drove to the clubhouse, going to the back gate. I thought about what I was going to do with Noah and felt for his pulse, but there was no beating. I guess I used too much force when I knocked him out. I decided to leave him right where he was.

I climbed over the gate and pushed one of the tires to the window, climbing back inside. Tig's room was still as I left it and if anyone checked on me, I knew they didn't realize I wasn't in here. I got back in bed and snuggled with Jack.

Tomorrow was going to be a big day for me.