The night was too long for Shisui. Sleep evaded him as his thoughts clamored for attention.
She was what he thought of each evening. Sakura. The silence in the room where he stayed was encompassing and it only made his thoughts louder and more prevalent.
Her light pink locks the color of cherry blossoms teased his memories. The soft skin of her neck and how he affected her with a simple touch, reminded him of how real she was. Her smile that could disarm him and make him feel like everything would be alright, helped him remember that there was good in this world that was worth fighting for.
Sakura, his blossom, seemed to bloom with her fierceness and devotion in helping others.
He knew that it would be hard to keep her just to himself. She would never willingly submit to a life of conformity, and he would never cage her in that situation. She challenged everything and made sure that it was for the betterment of others. It was for that reason, that his feelings for her changed from when they first met.
He had seen her memories, just like Itachi had, and he thought he knew who she was and could figure her out. He thought that being older would give him the upper hand when it came down between him and Itachi, but he had seen the looks his best friend gave her when she wasn't' looking. Never had he seen Itachi look at someone with the same intensity as when he looked at Sakura.
It hurt. It hurt to admit that he was seeing his best friend fall completely for her and that he was the one getting in the way… But, she hadn't turned either of them down, yet. He wondered and wondered what that meant and how that would affect their relationship down the line.
He thought of his clan and how she had come to intervene before his best friend went down a path that would forever change the lives of everyone that he knew.
He thought of how she saved him and gave him a second chance at life. She had no agenda, no struggle for power or revenge. She saved him because she was being herself, and saw someone in need. She put herself in harm's way to save a complete stranger and in doing so, depleted almost all of her chakra and left herself open for attack.
Shisui groaned and tried to cover his head with a pillow, as if that would help stop the thoughts in his head. He was usually able to fall asleep so easily but tonight, it seemed, that both his heart and his mind were in a battle all their own.
He remembered what she had said about feeling so alone in this dimension. The way that she explained how she felt about Kakashi and their newfound friendship made him think about all the times that he became a bit too possessive whenever Kakashi was around and how that must have made her feel.
'Damn Shisui, you sure know how to make a mess of everything,' he thought as he turned and threw the pillow off of him and covered himself with the blankets.
She was right… She was alone in this world and he could only imagine how scared she must have felt leaving everything that she had held dear, and fight someone of Kaguya's caliber, only to end up in a past dimension.
He felt a pang of guilt at how hard he had been on Kakashi in front of her and promised that he would behave a bit more when she was around. After all, she was bravely looking towards the future and trying to carve her way into this lifetime to make her own difference.
Shisui sighed and decided that he needed some fresh air. He changed into his ANBU gear and grabbed his mask as he walked out into the darkness.
First, he took a walk around the Nara compound. The cool nighttime breeze did nothing to cool his thoughts.
His feet led him to the Hokage mountain where he overlooked the village and had his eyes in the direction of his clan's lands. A sigh escaped his lips as he thought about his home. He wanted to walk through the small streets, visit his old hangout spots, maybe buy some of Itachi's favorite dango and eat half before he even offered him any.
Thinking about his home brought a sad smile to his face. Itachi had helped him quash the coup but Fugaku still refused to talk about Shisui and his apparent suicide with anyone. As far as anyone else was concerned he was still out on a mission. Itachi had told him that Mikoto had been challenging Fugaku in private to talk to Itachi about it, but it wasn't going anywhere for the time being.
How he missed walking freely around his village. His thoughts went back to Sakura and how he wanted to share everything of who he was with her.
Shisui wanted to take Sakura's hand in his and walk openly in his village. He wanted to proclaim to whoever would hear that he cared for this woman and that she belonged to him. He wanted to settle down, have a steady relationship, see what that was really like, and hopefully someday give her children that they would raise together.
The only catch was that she hadn't chosen him… She was still trying to figure herself out, who she was, and her own Will of Fire. She had lived through a war, lost many friends, lost her home, and had never felt what it was like to be cherished by a man who loved her and would lay down his life if it meant to see her smile once more.
He wondered if Itachi felt the same way.
It hurt. It hurt so much.
Shisui continued to walk around the edge of the village until he somehow managed to run into Kakashi in the early dawn hours.
The white-haired shinobi waved at him in greetings and Shisui removed his mask and caught up to him and said, "Are you leaving on your mission?" Kakashi nodded and said, "Hey thanks for yesterday, but you really didn't have to leave, we could have all had dinner together." Shisui shook his head and looked down, praying that his bangs hid the exhaustion that must have been evident on his face. He wondered why he took off his mask to begin with.
Kakashi saw the tired look in Shisui's features and said, "You're thinking about her too?" Shisui looked up at him and with a half-smile and a shrug replied, "Is it that obvious? Wait... what do you mean 'too', who else…" Kakashi raised a silver eyebrow and Shisui quickly realized that he was talking about Itachi.
He wasn't upset, or surprised, that Itachi checked up on her. He was guilty of the same thing as well, but having Kakashi know that they were both vying for the same woman was a bit uncomfortable for the usually private pair of Uchiha's.
Kakashi responded, "I'm going to tell you the same thing I told him last night...Get it together or let someone else make her happy. I know that I am new in the picture but, I can see why you guys care so much for her. Most importantly, I don't want her to get hurt. She is a good person and has a caring heart… We don't get too many of those in our line of work. Sakura has been a good friend to me and I can only imagine how our friendship will grow with time."
He paused and gave him a earnest look, "I know how much she misses her friends… I see the tears on her face once she falls asleep. She tries to hide that from everyone so no one will worry, but right now she needs people to be there for her and support her." Shisui nodded and understood what Kakashi was trying to say.
He knew deep in his heart that he was trying to win her heart but he also knew that he would care for her no matter what. Shisui just wanted to see her happy and with the same smile that she first gave him when he opened his eye for the first time since she brought him back to life.
Would he be happy with whatever title she called him? Shisui searched deep in his heart and realized that he would. He would love her the same if she called him her lover, her confidant, even if she called him her… friend.
His heart ached at the thought but decided that he would be fine as long as she was still in his life. She had healed his heart, she had given him a new beginning in life. There was nothing that could break the first bond that they shared together. She was in his life to stay and Kakashi was right, she needed someone there to support her in whatever role she needed him.
Shisui looked towards the gates and then back at Kakashi and said, "Be safe out there, brother." It had been a long time since Shisui had called Kakashi 'brother', that the Copy Ninja's eyes widened a bit and a smile broke out from under his mask.
He replied with a firm arm around Shisui's shoulders and said, "Don't worry about me, I'll be back within the week, you just keep it together and get some rest. You look like crap tonight." Shisui grinned and said, "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, At least I look better than you…"
Kakashi chuckled and then gave him a two-finger salute as he ran towards the village gates and went on his mission.
As he left, Shisui sighed as the early morning sky began to change colors. He placed his mask back on and decided to pay the training grounds a much-deserved visit.
A/N: I am sorry for the delay in my updates, a lot has been going on and to be honest, I had a serious case of writer's block. I tried to see where I was going with this story, and my characters, and I found that I wrote myself into a very difficult situation because I love Itachi and Shisui. Please don't think that I abandoned the story, because I haven't, I just haven't had time to write this last week. I appreciate every review, fav, follow, and now my story is in three communities! I love you guys!
I left this chapter short, specifically because I wanted to focus on Shisui and make this one all about what is going on in his mind. I hope you guys liked it.
Little Spoiler: If you want to know, each chapter title is from a song that was my inspiration for each chapter. If you want to listen to Shinedown's 'Call Me' that is the song that I had in mind when I wrote this one to get into Shisui's head.
