Outtake: Changes Everyone Before
Edward's POV
November 15, 2017
"Thanks for coming in today, Edward," Mr. Newton said as he locked up the store. "You were very helpful."
I nodded. "Let me know if you need help with the next shipment."
"Will do," I got in my truck and my phone dinged. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw I'd gotten an email from the school. I usually ignored anything from the school but I saw that the subject line was peer tutoring. And I knew that if you skipped your first tutoring session you automatically got a detention.
If I got another detention I would get suspended. And if I got suspended that meant I didn't get the free breakfast or lunch the school provided me with. And I only bought enough food for me to make dinner and meals on the weekend.
It was all I could really afford.
"Son of a bitch," I muttered as I opened the email.
Dear Mr. Masen,
You have qualified for free peer tutoring. Bella Swan will be your tutor and you are to meet with her for your first session tomorrow afternoon. Failure to show up will result in an afterschool detention.
Best Regards,
Miss Clark
Forks High School Principal
"Fucking Bella Swan!" I hit my steering wheel. I swear she was trying to ruin my life. I knew she was dating the ogre when we fucked at that party but her guilt wasn't my problem. She threw herself at me…how was I supposed to know they were still dating? And then on top of that shit, she tried telling me she was pregnant with my child.
I didn't understand why she was acting so desperate all of a sudden. She made it clear the other day she didn't want to have sex with me again so why was she dragging me into tutoring with her?
Huffing and puffing, I put the key in the ignition and drove home. There wasn't anything I could do about it and I was exhausted. One tutoring session wouldn't be the end of the world and I figured she was hot. At least the view would be nice as the yacked about trigonometry and English.
When I got home, mom's car was parked in the driveway. I instantly felt anxiety risen and considered going to Rosalie's house to crash for the night. But things were weird with Rose…again…and I didn't feel like listening to her rant about how awful my mother was.
I understood what a bitch my mom was. I didn't need her reminding me all night.
Shaking, I got out of the car and made my way up the steps to the front door. She'd left the door unlocked and when I pushed it open she was already passed out on the couch.
"Great," I rolled my eyes as I tried picking up the trash. I wondered what she was doing here but then remembered she'd been seeing this dude who was also an addict. I figured they broke up and she didn't have enough time to find a new friend before it was time for her to pass out.
Knowing she'd be up soon to puke, I sat down in one of the chairs near the couch with my sketchbook. I just didn't feel like cleaning up her vomit so I wanted to make sure she made it into the trashcan this time.
Sure enough, an hour after getting home she woke up and started throwing up. I sprinted out of my seat and made sure the can was under her and made sure everything ended up in the can. I made her chug some water when she was finished and then helped her to her own room. She could puke as much as she wanted to in there.
I never went into her room.
After being certain she'd be asleep for the rest of the night I went to my own room to get a little bit of sleep. But it wasn't enough. I never got enough sleep and when my alarm went off, I considered staying home. If I didn't show up to school I wouldn't get detention for not going to tutoring.
But Bella was desperate enough she'd schedule another session with me. And I was certain she'd keep doing that until I went.
I pulled on a pair of track pants, a crew neck, and my worn our Nikes. I checked on my mom who was still passed out before leaving for school. If I sped then I would make it just before they locked the front doors and I was considered officially late.
I got to the school with thirty seconds to spare and dashed into my homeroom unnoticed. No one ever paid attention to me and my teachers had stopped caring about if I was on time or not. As long as I was in the building by 7:55, they didn't care. Thankfully, I didn't see Bella all morning since she spent her days in the honors hall and I didn't step foot in that hallway.
At lunch, I sat with Rosalie and a few of her friends by the door and scanned the room for Bella. I wasn't going to bail since I couldn't get suspended but I still wanted to know why she'd forced me into this. Usually, the person tutoring asked the person if they wanted to be tutored.
I spotted her with her dumb friends across the room and when she saw me she ran out of the room. So, she knew I'd be pissed…she was as smart as she said she was. I followed her out of the cafeteria and walked closely behind her. I wasn't going to touch her but she needed to know I was there.
"What the fuck, Swan?" I spat. "I don't want the tutoring session."
"Then don't come," She said like it was so simple. Well…it wasn't simple. Nothing was simple.
I rolled my eyes. "If I don't come I get a detention."
"And that's a problem for you?"
"They told me one more detention and I'd be suspended," He sighed. "I can't be suspended again."
"Didn't think you actually cared."
"If I don't come to school, I stay home and staying home…" I stopped talking when I realized what I was about to say. Everyone knew my mother was an alcoholic and my dad was a deadbeat. That wasn't a secret. But she didn't need to know what happened if I stayed home. "I just can't be suspended again."
"Then come to tutoring."
"I don't want to be tutored!" I argued. She was so fucking annoying.
"It'll be painless. I promise."
"Do you have to spend the entire hour with you?"
She rolled her eyes. She forced me into this and she was annoyed? Fucking typical. "I'll lie on the sheet if you cooperate and come to the session."
"I really hate you right now,"
"I know. I kind of hate you too."
"Where are we doing this?" I asked.
"My house. It's more comfortable than school and no one is there so you can keep your I don't care attitude."
"Fine," If she wasn't a girl I probably would have slugged her. I just turned around and headed back to the cafeteria.
"I'll see you after school!" I called after him. "Three thirty! Don't be late!"
I went back into the cafeteria and sat down next to Rosalie. I made plans with her for after Bella's house because I was sure I'd need some kind of outlet after spending an hour with her. I really missed drunk Bella because she wasn't a self-righteous little princess. She was a normal human being who was really fucking good in bed.
Damn…I wished she hadn't turned me down the other day.
When the final bell rang, I ran out of the school to go to Bella's house. The faster I got there then the faster I could leave. I didn't want to be there for a minute longer than I had to be. But, she had friends and a boyfriend and had lingered at school to talk to them. I waited for ten minutes before she finally showed up.
When she got out of the car, we had yet another argument. Rosalie confronted me at the end of lunch asking if there was anything going on with Bella. I told her no because that was the fucking truth, but I could tell she didn't believe me. I was a lot of things, but I never cheated on Rosalie. I did a lot of things with girls when we were broken up, but I never cheated.
After Bella and I managed to stop yelling at each other, I decided I was going to have a bit of fun with this. I knew it would annoy the hell out of her if I tried being a normal student who cared about my grades. I smirked at her as she stood across from me.
"So? What are we learning today, teach?"
"Nothing, we're not doing tutoring," She said.
Umm…what?
"Then why the hell am I hear, Swan?"
"We need to talk." Here we go again.
"Not this shit again."
"Edward, you need to listen!" She screeched and it made my ears hurt a little bit. I didn't want her to do that again so I just shut up and let her say her peace. "Edward, I'm pregnant."
"We've been here before, Swan," Why was she insisting that I'd gotten her pregnant? I always used a condom. Always.
"I'm really pregnant. We had sex without protection…"
"I used a condom," I assured her. That night was fuzzy but I always used a condom. I was safe.
"You sure?" She asked. "We were so drunk, Edward. Everything about that night is still fuzzy and it's been two months."
She called me Edward. Which made me realize how serious the situation was.
"I always use a condom," I told her but then I wasn't so sure anymore. I started thinking back to that night but we were drunk and it happened almost two months ago. I couldn't be for sure anymore. "Always."
"Well, even if you did they were crappy condoms. I'm not kidding, Edward. I'm pregnant."
"No," I argued. No fucking way was she pregnant.
She sighed as she jogged towards the steps. "Stay here." I waited anxiously for the longest two minutes ever. I considered just leaving but she hadn't signed my slip yet. She came back and handed me a photograph. But this wasn't a normal picture of her with her friends.
It looked like something you'd get at a doctor's office.
"This is the baby. Our baby."
"I don't see anything."
"I didn't at first either. It's right here." She pointed to the white blob on the picture. I examined the picture carefully and saw the small dot she was referring to.
That was a baby? It was so small and didn't look like anything special.
"It's not mine," I argued. I didn't have anything so I didn't understand why she was trying to trick me into thinking it was mine. Was she too embaressed to tell Prince Charming he'd knocked her up?
"It is."
"You have a boyfriend. It's probably his."
"Edward?"
"What?" I snapped. I was getting very annoyed.
"I was…a virgin," She whispered and my heart stopped for a second. "That night when we had sex…Emmett and I hadn't yet. I was a virgin."
"A virgin?" My voice cracked slightly. "You'd never had sex before?"
"No."
"You're lying," I accused. There was no fucking way. No way I'd taken her virginity and knocked her up. Why was she doing this to me?
"Why would I lie about that?"
"Because," I was panicking. "I…I didn't take your virginity. You weren't a virgin."
"I was," She said gently and then it started sinking in.
"Oh my god. You were a virgin?" She nodded. "No. No!"
"Edward…"
"I'm so sorry, Bella." How could I have been so awful to her? I never suspected she was a virgin. She'd been dating big foot for two years. I just assumed… "I never…if I knew I wouldn't have let it get that far."
"We were drunk."
"I would have fought harder to stop it," I argued. "You're really pregnant?"
"Jasper took that picture for me. I can call him so he can confirm it if you'd like." I shook my head. "I'm about eight weeks now. I'm almost in my second trimester."
"I'm the father?" I asked again. I needed to be completely certain. "Oh my god,"
"Edward,"
"I never wanted this to happen. What did I do?"
"Hey, this is on both of us," She shrugged. "It takes two to make a baby."
"I'm so sorry, Bella."
I sighed. "Me too," I whispered.
Bella and I briefly discussed our options. She told me she wasn't going to get an abortion and I was relieved. I just couldn't imagine her doing that. And then she brought up adoption which I immediately turned down. No child of mine would have to life I had with Liz and Eddie. I wouldn't let that happen. The only other option we had was to keep the baby and that scary as fuck.
She also told me the only people who knew about the baby were her sister and brother-in-law. Her parents didn't know and I was told I couldn't tell anyone. Not even Rosalie. And then I felt terrible because I had to break up with Rosalie without a good reason. I did it all the time but this time I actually had a reason but couldn't tell her.
I was so fucked up and I didn't make any sense.
Bella signed my tutoring slip and I left her house. I needed to process everything. I drove around for a few minutes but I knew where I needed to go. I turned around and headed for the Reservation. No one from Forks knew anyone at La Push. They wouldn't say anything and if Alice could know about the baby then Jake could know about the baby.
He was practically my brother.
When I got to his house, Sue did her usual inspection and Dakota demanded I color with her. I didn't want to alarm them until the little one went to bed so I went along with it. It wasn't unusual for me to show up unannounced. Everyone was used to it and thought it was far weirder when I did call before showing up.
After Dakota was in bed, Sue made us tea when I said I had to talk to them about something. They waited patiently for me to start talking. They wouldn't pressure me. They knew I'd talk in my own time and also knew to pressure me would make me clam up and I wouldn't tell them.
"I did something," I whispered after ten minutes of silence.
Sue sighed. "Whatever happened we're here for you, honey."
"Absolutely," Leah agreed.
"Did you break the law?" Jake asked.
"No," I shook my head and then didn't talk for another five minutes. "I got a girl pregnant."
Sue gasped a little bit. She was practically my mother so I wasn't surprised. "You and Rosalie will need to sit down and talk."
"It's not Rosalie."
"Oh?" Sue asked. Jake and Leah looked shocked. "Who is it?"
"Bella Swan," I said. "She's in my grade. She's a total princess."
"How do you know it's yours?" Jake asked. "You always use a condom."
I shrugged. "We were drunk that night so I'm not totally positive I did use a condom."
"Oh…"
"And she was a virgin," I told them and felt my body tense up. "I took her virginity and got her pregnant."
Sue sighed. Jake and Leah, will you please give us a moment alone?"
The two of them nodded and went into Leah's bedroom. Sue and I sat quietly for a few moments. She never pressured me to say something even though she knew exactly what I was thinking.
Finally, Sue spoke. "If that girl didn't say anything about being a virgin then you did nothing wrong."
"I got her pregnant," I mumbled.
"You know what I mean, Edward."
I took a deep breath. "I took advantage of her. Just like…David…took advantage of me."
"Edward," She whispered. "It's very different from that and you know it. Did she consent?"
"She kissed me but…she was drunk. She was vulnerable I should have left. "
"If she pursued you…"
"She had a boyfriend. I wasn't drunk enough to forget she had a boyfriend."
"I love you like a son of my own," Sue said softly. "And I will support you and this girl in whatever you two decide. I'll fight for you, Edward."
"Thanks."
"But I will not allow you to blame yourself for her losing her virginity to you. That was her choice." I nodded. "And I especially will not allow you to compare yourself to that horrible…evil man."
I sighed. "I messed up."
"You'll fix it."
"And we'll help you," Jake said as he and Leah came back into the room. "We're on your side, dude."
"Thanks."
"Are you staying here tonight, sweetie?" Sue asked and I nodded. She smiled and went to get my blankets and pillow to set up the couch as a bed. After trying to take my mind off of everything for a few hours, everyone retreated to their rooms to get some sleep.
But I couldn't sleep. Feeling like I'd taken advantage of Bella like David had taken advantage of me was going to take some time to work through. But there was so much that needed to be done. Sure, I was the father. But how much did she really want me to be involved? I'd only been an asshole to her and everyone else for years. I was exactly the guy someone would give a '#1 Dad' mug to on Father's Day.
And if she allowed me to be involved, how would we pay for this kid? I made enough to support myself and my mother but babies were a lot of money. I would need a third job or more hours at my two current jobs. If I worked more there wouldn't be any time for me to go to school and I hated the idea of telling my child I was a high school dropout.
There were so many things to consider but all I really knew was I did not want to give the baby up for adoption. That would never happen. I wouldn't allow what happened to me when I was born to happen to my child. Bella would have to accept that.
When I woke up the next morning, I had this gut feeling that I had to end things with Rosalie. I was a lot of things, but she didn't deserve to be put in the middle of this fucked up situation. I felt horrible about it. Rose and I were always breaking up but we broke up in fits of passion. We were both stubborn and that was our main problem. Neither of us were ever wrong.
Except in this case. I was wrong in this situation.
I texted her asking if we could meet before school and she agreed.
When I got to school, I waited anxiously behind the trees where we always met when we wanted to be away from school and not be seen. She met me with ten minutes to spare and I pulled her behind a big pine tree.
"What's up?" She asked as she shoved her hands in her coat pocket. It was fucking freezing.
I stared at her for a few minutes. "Rose, this isn't working."
"What's not working?"
"Us," I whispered and she rolled her eyes. "I'm serious."
"You're always serious, Edward."
"Rosalie."
"Edward."
"I'm breaking up with you," I said bluntly and she stepped back. "For real."
"What?" She asked. She sounded hurt. I couldn't blame her. We were the best couple, but I cared about her in my own fucked up way. And she cared about me. I knew a lot about her that no one else knew. She trusted me. "What's wrong this time?"
I shrugged. "Rosalie, we aren't getting back together."
"You always say that."
"And I mean it this time," I shrugged. "I'm sorry but we're done."
"Is it because of her?"
"Who?"
"Bella fucking Swan."
"No," I lied right to her face. "It's not."
"You're lying."
"I'm just done, Rose," I told her.
She stared at me until the warning bell rang. "Fuck you," She spat and walked away. I wanted to go home, but I couldn't get suspended so I sat through the rest of the day feeling like shit.
After school, I headed back to Jake's because I didn't have anyone else to talk to. No one was home yet when I got there so I waited in my truck and worked on a sketch to possibly sell at the next art show. After twenty minutes, Jake pulled up on his bike.
"Hey," He said cautiously as he removed his helmet. I got out of the car and followed him into the house. We raided the fridge and sat out on the back deck. He didn't push me to talk, but I needed to talk about everything
"I broke up with Rosalie," I said and he just nodded because it was such a normal thing. "For good this time."
"Oh," He understood. "You okay?"
"I wasn't going to marry her and our relationship wasn't super healthy but I cared about her," I said. "I think I cared about her."
"You cared," He smiled. "As much as you could."
I sighed. "I messed up, Jake. I got a girl pregnant and threw her entire life off track."
"You don't know that."
"She's the cheerleader with the quarterback boyfriend," I said. "She's an honors student who does community service and joins clubs. Her parents are happily married and her sister is her best friend."
"And?"
"Getting pregnant at eighteen probably wasn't on her vision board."
He nodded. "You're right. It probably wasn't."
"I fucked up big time," I whispered. "And you can't bail me out this time."
"I'll do whatever I can to help," He promised. "And sometimes things have a weird way of working out. This could turn out completely different than either of you are thinking."
We sat there for a little bit looking out at the water. "Now what?"
"Now you support her in any way she lets you," He shrugged. "And you don't give into what she wants without a fight. She might be the mom…but you're the father, Edward. You're that baby's dad and that means something."
I nodded. "Yeah. I'm the dad."
"Not all dad's do evil things."
"I'll never be anything like my father or David," I whispered. "I'm going to do what's right."
