WARNING: ADULT CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR ALL READERS.
[Note: I am not sure about what rating this falls under, but please do not read this chapter if you are only comfortable reading the lowest maturity content. It shouldn't really impact the story at all and you can proceed safely to Chapter 29.
Chapter 28
After he pulled away from their kiss, there was an awkward moment. A moment where despite all Clarke and Bellamy had shared together, that they had just shared, seemed uncomfortable, and unnatural. Bellamy sort of coughed, wanting to confess what had happened on the Ark with Raven and Echo, not knowing why he felt he had to share that.
"Clarke…. On the Ark…I wasn't sure if you were alive."
"Shhh…. I know…"
"No, Clarke, I thought you were dead. Had I known you were alive, and had been contacting me every day…. I wouldn't have tried to move on. I never did move on, but I tried, and…"
"Bellamy, stop. It's not like the thought hadn't crossed my mind. When you showed up holding Hannah, I thought she was yours with either Echo or Raven. I was just relieved that it wasn't."
Bellamy nodded, slowly. "So you are ok with what happened?"
"Of course. We had never talked about how we felt. I… didn't let you. On purpose. I was so afraid. After Finn, and Lexa…. I just assumed that anybody that I loved was going to die. That love was weakness. I knew if I had ever admitted how I felt, if we ever admitted, how we felt – it could have killed us. In the end, surviving with my nightblood…. I knew that it would have only killed you, and possibly all our friends if you had wanted to stay. I was right. Love was weakness. Thinking with my heart could get you killed."
Bellamy eyes welled, and he reached out and stroked her hair and chin softly.
"But…. Since finding Madi and living for five years without a constant threat looming over my shoulders made me realize that love is so much more than weakness. That love makes some of us stronger, if we let it. I thought of you Bellamy, and how you were always able to make such difficult decisions and how much you loved your sister, and how that gave you so much strength. I knew that since taking Madi in, loving her like she was my own child, had opened my heart to that possibility. I thought of how you wanted to tell me what you were thinking on that beach six years ago, that I refused to hear, and how brave you were. Love wasn't weakness – I was just afraid to love again. How I had been a coward with so many things."
Bellamy nodded, with his forehead on hers, tasting the salty tears – he didn't know if they were hers or his.
"Bellamy, I am not afraid anymore."
With that, Clarke reached up and put her arms on the back of his head and kissed him, hard. Bellamy responded instantly, and both of them wanted to feel alive so badly that the need was urgent, desperate even. Their hands were tangled in each others hair, their breathing heavy, panting, and when Bellamy sank down onto the ground, Clarke was instantly on top of him straddling him and positioning herself. They moved wordlessly but aggressively, taking each others clothes off and their own clothes off, whatever was more convenient. Bellamy slipped himself into her, and they both moaned softly feeling the simultaneous instant relief and tension as they moved together, sucking hard on each others necks and kissing each other hard whenever they weren't feeling the intensity to strong that they couldn't function.
Bellamy pulled Clarke close and in one swift movement, pulled her down so that he was on top of her and in seconds, Clarke felt the dizzying intensity heighten at the same time Bellamy released into her. She felt his warmth fill her body, as they both collapsed on the rough ground of for forest, breathless. Bellamy held Clarke close, grabbing some of their clothes and covering her in them, where they rested for ten minutes before Clarke started kissing Bellamy again with urgency.
"What are you doing?" he asked, surprised.
"It's been over six years for me Bellamy. I need this."
Bellamy of course, was more than willing to oblige.
