Here is the next installment for you all. Videl1212 I truly hope this does not seemed rushed to you. Thanks for everybody that has been reading and reviewing.
If all goes well the next chapter will be the road trip. I'm not sure how I did writing for individuals POV's so I will probably just go back to 3rd person.
So for past two hours or so I've been avoiding both of them. I know they have so many questions for me. The only problem is that I don't have any answers so how am I supposed to face them?
I can't put this off any longer. I have some answers to the many questions and I can give them what I have.
When I walked into the kitchen I find my mom sitting at the table while my dad is starting to cook dinner. He is making lasagna, it is my all time favorite and I'm sure that is why he is making it. He knows the next few hours are going to be hard on me. My mom looks up from her paper and says "Spencer can you please sit down so that we can talk?" Of course I sit down but I don't say or do anything else.
"Spencer are you gay?" wow Mom way to just jump right into it. I look at her then my dad who just smiles to encourage me. "No mom I'm not" even as I say that I am thinking I'm not sure "well I don't really think I am" I answer truthfully "So honey what is this about going back to California then it you're not gay? I thought you were going back for that police women?"
Once again let my mother completely misses the point. "Mom I want to go back to L.A. because I built a life there. A life that I love. I also want to show the world that I'm not afraid of Tom, yes he hurt me but I can be the better person. Does Ashley have anything to do with my decision to move back there yes she does, but that does not mean that I am moving back to be with her. She was a friend to me when I needed one the most. I'm not sure that I could explain to you what I feel when she is around me. It is nothing that I have ever felt before." I am trying to remain as calm as I can while I'm talking to her but I'm starting to lose my cool.
"Well honey you know that no matter what both your Mother and I will always love you even if you are gay" my dad says trying to be helpful. Now I'm really pissed off. Why do they keep coming back to that one point? "You guys just don't get it do you?" I am now yelling at my parents and I know that I shouldn't but I just don't know how else to get my point across.
"For once in my life I want to do this for me! Not for you guys, not for Tom, not for Glen or Clay. Hell not even for Ashley but for me! Why can't anybody understand that? I really need to do this for me." I take a long deep breath. Mom and Dad I love you both so very much. You have both given me so much love and support and have always lead me in the correct path. This is the time I need to find my own path. Yes I might make a few wrong turns along the way but that is what life is all about. Getting lost but being able to find your way again. Please understand that this has nothing to do with my sexuality, it is more about spreading my wings. Yes seeing Ashley is a side benefit but as I've said before I don't really know what I feel for her. I just feel that I have to do this. And in L.A. is as good a place as any." I tell them taking another deep breath.
Both of my parents are speechless. I can't tell what the look on my Mom's face is. My Dad on the other hand has one of the largest smiles I've seen on his face. "Spence can you give your Mom and I a moment to talk please?" my dad asked. "Sure Dad I'm going to go for a walk, I'm sorry for yelling" and with that I get up and walked out of the kitchen, to take a walk around the block to cool off. I had just stepped out of my front door when I felt my phone vibrate from my back pocket. I could tell that it was a text from somebody.
Txt Ashley: Hey just wanted to say hi and that I'll see you soon – Ash
Txt Spencer: Same to you and be safe at work – Spencer.
Txt Ashley: I'm always safe - Ash
I couldn't help but smile while reading her last message. Like I told my parents I don't know what it is about Ashley but she just makes me smile. As to if I'm gay or not I really don't know. I mean yes I've admired other women and have noticed them. Whether I've want to be more to them or with them I can't answer that question. I think that is why I'm having so much trouble with everything. Maybe asking Ashley to drive back with me was a bad idea. Maybe I should just ask Glen to go with me. I would ask Clay to but he has already done so much for me. By this time I've walked all the way around the block twice and I still don't have any answers to my questions but one. Ashley is the right person to make this trip with. Maybe she can help me find some of the answers I'm looking for.
Arthur's POV
I watched as Spencer got up to leave. I have never been so proud of her for standing up for herself just now. I just hope that Paula can see it the same way. I look at her and she has a soft expression on her face. I can tell that she is really thinking about what Spence just said. "A penny for your thoughts" I ask her. She just smiled and looked up at me.
"You know Arthur part of me just wants to wrap Spencer up in my arms and keep her safe forever. She is my baby girl and I want nothing but the best for her. Another part of my wants to let go but not too far but the one thing I know for sure as of this moment is that she is right. We've… okay more I have always tried to tell her what to do and she always listened without complaint. I was just thinking back to when I was her age my mother treated me the same exact thing and I promised myself I would never to that to my kids and to Glen and Clay I haven't but I have always treated Spencer like my little girl. I have now realized that she is no longer my little girl. She has grown into a smart, funny, beautiful young women and it is time that I let her go and discover the world on her own." Paula was able to say well tears form in her eyes.
I walked over to where Paula was sitting and pull her up to me and just hold her. I know that this has very hard for her but I'm just as proud of her as I am Spencer. I know that we all will get through this together.
