Title: This Has Been a Public Service Announcement

Author: Cassie Mun

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist

Characters: Greed, Solf J. Kimblee, Issac McDougal and Frank Archer

Prompt: Scream; Zombie's fright

Word Count: 430

Rating: T

Summary: Greed, Kimblee, Archer and Issac McDougal help the people of Central how to defeat a zombie attack.

Notes: I am doing the 31 Halloween Writing Prompts this year, sounds like fun

Disclaimer: I don't any of the characters from Fullmetal Alchemist, they are all owned by Hiromu Arakawa.


"Hello, my name is Solf J. Kimblee the Crimson Alchemist. And today I will teach her some simple steps on how to survive a zombie attack. With the assistants of Frank Archer and Greed we will teach you the best and quickest ways to kill a zombie and to survive a zombie horde." said Solf to the audience with a smile.

"Why can't Greed be the zombie Kimblee?" asked Frank in an overly padded zombie costume.

Then Kimblee said to Archer with a smirk, "Because I said so."

"I am starting to like you Kimblee. You are my homeboy!" said Greed with a huge grin.

"Anywho, first it is easier to attack a crawling zombie than a walking one," said Kimblee with a smile, "they tend to get to you slower."

"What the hell Kimblee?" said Frank as Greed started braking Archer's legs, "FUCKING SHIT! DAMN IT GREED!"

Greed looked at Frank and smiled, "Just doing what I am told to do on the cue card."

We see Issac McDougal hold up a cue card that says "Break Archer's Legs" on it.

"Jesus Christ!" shouted Frank as he facepalmed himself.

"Second, since zombies crave brains…" said Kimblee before Archer interrupted him.

"Greed has no brains!" screamed Frank, "I would starve to death if I was a real zombie!"

"HEY!" shouted Greed.

"Excuse me I am trying to work here!" shouted Solf back at them, "As I was saying, since zombie grave brains it is best to decapitate the zombie if at all possible."

Issac holds the cue card to tell Greed to cut off Frank's head. Seeing this Frank took his automail cannon out and started shooting at Greed before Greed could decapitate him.

"You want my head homunculus! Come on! Let's see you try! Mawahahahahaha!" said Frank blasting everywhere.

"Sorry Kimblee, I quit." said Issac as he walked out of the studio.

Greed on the other hand was making all of Frank's ammo that was being shot at him bounce of his ultimate shield. "Come on Frankie, it was just a joke, no harm no foul right?"

Turning back to the audience, "Well that is all the advice I can give you from protecting yourselves from zombies. This has been Solf J. Kimblee the Crimson Alchemist, good luck and good day to you all."

Then turning to Greed and Archer, Kimblee shouted, "Come on guys I was trying to be serious here!"

Then both Greed and Frank look at Kimblee and said in unison as they looked at each other and pointed their thumbs at Kimblee, "Solf, serious, Nah!"