Author's Note: Hello again! This is the second of the requested outtakes or future takes.
Somebody wanted to see EPOV of what he was up to during his year at college without Bella. Sorry I can't find the review now to figure out who it was.
Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.
Reminder! "Oh Brother" is currently nominated as one of the top fics completed in November 2012 over on twifanfictionrecs (on page 3). If you enjoyed the story, I'd love it if you could vote for me! Voting ends January 1, and you can vote once every 24 hours. I know I can't win, but Top 10 would be awesome.
August
As I made my way through the tiny Port Angeles airport to the baggage claim area, I breathed in deeply, once again enjoying the pine smell of the Olympic Peninsula. In some ways, it felt like I'd just left, while in so many other ways, it had been a lifetime since I'd been home to Forks.
"Edward," a woman's voice called to me as I came around the corner. I turned in her direction, taking a deep breath.
"Hello, Mrs. Gerandy," I said with a small smile.
"Oh please, that's my mother-in-law — call me Heidi," she replied. "My husband said to tell you he was sorry he couldn't be here to pick you up. Hospital emergency — you know how it goes."
Once we retrieved my bag — I'd shipped most of my stuff ahead of me to St. Louis — Heidi led me out to the small parking garage.
"You look different, Edward," she said as we made the hour-long drive to Forks. "You seem… older."
"Well, I am older — it's been seven months."
"It's not so much physically," she explained, "But more that you seem a little world-weary. It's been a tough seven months, hasn't it?"
"It has," I agreed. "I guess… I guess I had a lot of growing up to do in a lot of respects. I had some hard lessons to learn."
"Edward Cullen, did you fall in love and get your heart broken?" she gasped.
I thought back to this morning and my goodbye with Bella. My heart wasn't quite broken — after all, she hadn't said there was no chance for us ever — but it was on life support for the next four years.
"It's just going to be hard being away from her while I'm at school," I finally replied. I just didn't want to get into it with Heidi.
Dr. Gerandy was home when we arrived. He gave me a quick slap on the back and told me I looked good. I almost laughed, wondering if he was just being polite. I knew I was a mess today.
"Your Volvo is in the garage, just where you left it," he said as we sat down to dinner later. "I tried to start it up and drive it at least once a week."
"Thanks."
"And all your stuff is in the storage shed out by the pool. I assume you went through it already?" he asked.
"Yeah, I did, before the funeral."
"I can't tell you how sorry I am, Edward. I've really missed your dad this year, but I can't even imagine what you've been going through."
"It was tough," I said quietly. "Not having my parents at my high school graduation really sucked."
"At least you had some family there, right? Your brother and his wife?"
"Yeah," I lied. I definitely didn't want to get into what had happened to ruin my relationship with my brother.
"I was surprised to hear you changed your mind about Dartmouth."
"I didn't so much change my mind as do what I had always wanted — not what my dad wanted," I explained. "I really think music therapy was what I was meant to do. I'm looking forward to school."
Just not looking forward to being 250 miles away from Bella.
September
Bella's birthday came and went. I'd been arguing with myself for a week about whether or not to send her a card or a gift. I wanted to let her know I was thinking about her. In the end, I decided that acknowledging her birthday would only remind her of our age difference, which was probably not in my best interest. I still felt horrible about it though.
"Hey, Edward," a short redheaded girl said to me as I walked into my American History class, the Friday after Bella's birthday.
"Um, hi, Kelsey."
"You remembered me," she giggled, reaching out to touch my arm. I tried not to cringe. "Listen, a group of us are going out to Hotshots tonight for happy hour. Do you want to come?"
"Oh, I—I can't. I'm not 21."
"Well, neither are any of the rest of us. Surely you have a fake ID?"
"Um, no… excuse me, I think class will start soon." As I walked quickly to my seat, the blonde in the next row over gave me a small smile. It almost looked like sympathy, but I wasn't going to take the chance and smile back.
Once class was over, I hurried out of the classroom. "Edward, wait," a female voice called as I headed toward the stairs. I stopped and turned around, finding myself face to face with the blonde, who was nearly as tall as me.
"Would you like to grab some lunch?" she asked. "I promise you I'm different."
"Different?" She was pretty, I supposed, but I wasn't interested in her.
"I'll explain at lunch. My treat."
She seemed sincere, so I agreed.
"I'm Tanya," she introduced herself as we stood in the line to pay for our food. "In case you didn't remember."
"I can see I need to set your mind at ease," she continued once we sat down. "You look like you're about to face the firing squad."
"Sorry," I said, feeling my face heat up.
"So I told you I'm different. I see the attention you get from girls on campus, and I can tell you're uncomfortable with it."
"Yeah," I agreed.
"Well, I'm not trying to get in your pants. I have no interest in what's in there — I'm a lesbian."
My eyes widened as I stared at Tanya. A lesbian? I thought… I thought…
"You expected me to have short hair and a flannel shirt, right?"
"Ummm…"
She laughed. "Don't lie, I know you did. I get that a lot. And since I don't look like the stereotypical lesbian, I get a lot of unwanted attention from men. Not just on campus, but everywhere I go."
"You're not… out?" Was that the right word?
"I am back home, but not in St. Louis, no. I came here to get an education, and I don't want anything detracting from that."
I nodded; I could understand that.
"So what about you? You're not gay, are you?"
I nearly choked on my burger. "No. No, I'm definitely not gay. Do I… act gay?"
"No, you don't," she laughed. "You don't give off the vibe at all. I've got pretty good gaydar," she said with a wink.
"Good to know… that's all I need — women and men hitting on me."
Tanya laughed again. "You're cute. I can see why all the girls want you. The question is, why don't you want them?"
"I…"
"Do you have a girlfriend back home?"
"Not… exactly. But there is a woman that I'm in love with. We're not together right now, but I have every intention of going back for her when I graduate."
"She didn't want to do the long-distance thing?"
"Yeah…"
"Where is home for you, Edward? I'm from Springfield, Missouri, by the way."
"Um, I'm originally from a small town called Forks, in Washington. But, um, I moved to Chicago in January, and that's where she's at."
"You moved just a few months before your high school graduation?" I nodded. "Wow, that must have been tough."
"It was," I replied quietly. "I, um, moved in with my half-brother and his wife after my parents were killed."
"Jesus. How do you even function?"
"I had her," I said simply.
October
"You are coming with us to Fright Night, Cullen," Tanya demanded as we sat on the floor of my apartment eating pizza. "Just because your Bella isn't here doesn't mean you can't have fun and enjoy college."
"I miss her, Tanya," I whined. "I haven't seen her in two months."
Tanya shook her head. "Are you ever planning to tell me how the two of you met? All I ever hear about is how beautiful she is, or how great your summer was."
"She is beautiful."
"And you have yet to show me a picture of her to prove that," she noted, her eyes narrowed.
Sighing, I pulled out my phone to show Tanya the photo of Bella that I'd taken the last morning I woke up with her in my arms. She was still asleep and just looked so, so beautiful.
"Edward," Tanya began, an edge to her voice, "Just how old is this Bella?"
"What? Why do you ask?"
"Because she doesn't look 18."
"She—she's not."
"She doesn't look like she's even still in college."
"Bella is 30," I whispered.
"She's what?!"
"She turned 30 last month," I replied.
"Start explaining, Cullen."
Fuck, I was trapped. "Bella is… was… is, I guess… my sister-in-law."
Tanya just stared at me. I was starting to get uncomfortable before she finally spoke. "You spent the summer fucking your brother's wife?"
"They were separated by then!" I argued. "In the process of getting a divorce."
"Uh-huh — keep going, from the beginning this time."
"I fell in love with Bella the first time I saw her, at her wedding to my brother," I explained. "I only saw her once more, when I was 14, before my parents were killed and I went to live with them."
I picked at a string on the hem of my shirt, almost embarrassed to say the next part. Tanya was so going to judge me.
"Jasper was away on a business trip a few weeks after I moved in. I, um, snuck in her bedroom while Bella was taking a shower, and when she came out, I told her how I felt about her."
"Please tell me she threw you out on your ass."
"No, but she tried to talk me out of it, told me to date girls my own age," I remembered.
"Go on," Tanya prompted.
"I, um, I kissed her… and then I asked if I could touch her… and she said yes."
Suddenly, Tanya reached over, grabbing at the crotch of my jeans. "What are you doing?" I yelped, batting her hand away.
"You got balls, Cullen — I wanted to see how big they are." And then she started laughing. "The look on your face is priceless," she managed to get out through her laughter.
"Tanya!"
"Did she pop your cherry, Edward?" she giggled.
"Not that night… the next night." Oh God, I was probably as red as tomato.
"Oh my God, seriously? You were a virgin and went after an older woman?"
"I loved her!" I yelled. This is why I hadn't told Tanya in the month that we'd been friends.
I could see Tanya making an effort to calm herself. "All right," she finally said, "Continue."
"Um, so, my brother came home early on the third night and caught us together."
Tanya's eyes widened. "Fuck, how bad was it? You still have your balls, I noticed."
"He shoved me a little, but he didn't punch me. He threw Bella out and filed for divorce a few weeks later."
"So you two started seeing each other properly after that?" she asked.
"Not… exactly."
Tanya raised an eyebrow at me, waiting for me to explain.
"I, um, knew my brother was coming home early. I got us caught on purpose because Bella told me it was over."
"And she left your balls intact?"
"Why are you so interested in my balls?" I asked in a huff. "I thought you didn't want anything in my pants?"
"I don't," she laughed. "Bella must've been pissed, huh?"
"Yeah, she was really pissed. She would barely talk to me. I didn't see her for over two months, before she came to my graduation. But even then she still wouldn't agree to be friends."
"So how did you get back in her pants?" she asked curiously.
I took a deep breath before replying. "On her wedding anniversary, she went out and got drunk, and the bartender called me to come pick her up."
"Tell me you did not take advantage of a drunk woman."
"I didn't," I protested. "She told me she wanted me, that she knew what she was doing. Bella seduced me, Tanya."
"I'm sure that was difficult," she snorted.
I gave Tanya the stink eye before continuing, "Bella didn't really want me. She was still in love with my brother, but she was… horny, I guess, and I was there. She just wanted sex.
"After the first night, I knew that. But I let her use me for sex, hoping she'd eventually love me the same way I loved her."
"But it didn't work, did it," Tanya said softly.
"Not exactly the way I'd hoped. I think she did develop some kind of feelings for me, but when I asked her to move to St. Louis with me, she freaked."
"That was your first offer?"
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Did you ask her about a long-distance thing?"
"When she rejected the idea of moving, yeah."
"You should've started with something a little more palatable to her than picking up and moving."
"I pushed her too far again?"
"Again? Yes, Edward, I think you need to be a lot less aggressive with her. Let her figure things out on her own."
"But it's too late," I whined.
"It's not too late — you just need to regroup.
"I may be a lesbian, but I'm still a woman. You make no moves without running them by me, got it?" she said sternly.
"I got it. I'll do anything to get her back."
November
My roommate, Riley, was a jock. If there was a party on campus, he was invited. For the first few weeks he would invite me to come along too, but after so many refusals he'd stopped asking. So once again I had the apartment to myself on a Friday night.
I made sure I was caught up on all of my homework, even wrote half of the term paper I had due in two more weeks. But then I was bored. And when I was bored, I thought about Bella.
I already had my laptop out doing research for the term paper, which made it just so easy to type in the address for my favorite porn site. A quick search of the site found a new video by her… Tiffani.
Maybe it made me a little perverted, but Tiffani reminded me of Bella. They had roughly the same build, though Tiffani had much bigger tits — obviously fake. But it was her long brown hair that really reminded me of Bella. In video after video, men would hold onto Tiffani's hair while she gave them a blowjob, or while they fucked her from behind. I had never had the guts to try something like that with Bella. Tiffani seemed to like it — did that mean Bella would? Tiffani couldn't be that good of an actress if she was doing porn.
Tiffani was also very, very… flexible. I watched the new video in awe of the positions she could get into. She was twisted like a pretzel, her legs bent all the way up and thrown over the male actor's shoulders. That I really, really wanted to try with Bella.
If I ever got the chance.
Before I was even halfway through the video, my jeans became uncomfortably tight. I finally succumbed to temptation and opened the button fly of my jeans, pulling them about halfway down my thighs. I pulled my underwear down, reaching for the bottle of strawberry-scented lotion I kept in my nightstand. It was the same kind of lotion Bella used. I had to take a picture of the bottle with my phone when I saw it on her bathroom counter, so I'd know what to buy later.
I squirted a little lotion into my hand, then took hold of my hard cock, squeezing my eyes closed at the sensation. I didn't know why Bella's hand felt so much better than my own, but it still felt pretty damn good as I worked myself over, pulling and tugging. I massaged my thumb over the tip just like Bella would and couldn't help crying out. Good thing Riley wasn't home.
I pictured the video in my head again, imagining Bella was underneath me while I pounded into her, watching where we were joined. I loved to make her scream. Tiffani never sounded like Bella, couldn't replicate the amazing noises she would make.
I was getting close. I started moving my hand faster and faster, twisting a little when I reached the tip. Almost there… I quickly reached for a Kleenex with my left hand, so I didn't make a mess all over myself. Maybe I was a little OCD about that. I never had any problems making a mess on Bella.
"God, Bella, I miss you," I whimpered as I came in long spurts. Afterward, I flopped back on my bed, wishing it had been real. I wouldn't give up hope though.
December
One Saturday in December, the day after classes ended, Tanya dragged me to the mall to go Christmas shopping with her. It's not like I had anything to buy, but she wanted me to carry her bags. She told me it was my duty as a male.
"Tanya?" I asked hesitatingly as we walked through the crowded mall. "Should I buy Bella a Christmas gift?"
She stopped walking and turned to me. "What were you thinking of getting her?"
"I don't know… perfume? That's what I always got my mom."
"Do you know what kind of perfume she likes?"
"Um… no. But I know what it smells like."
Tanya shook her head. "Edward, there are literally thousands of different kinds of perfume. You'll never find the right one."
"Can I get her jewelry?" I suggested. "That's what my dad always got Mom."
"Absolutely not. Way too forward for your current relationship."
I frowned. "I don't know then… clothes? Women like clothes."
"Do you know her size?" Tanya asked.
"I know she's pretty small."
"Forget it… unless you pick the exact right size, you can't win with clothes," she advised.
"Why not? Isn't it the thought that counts?"
"Let me tell you something about women, Edward. If you buy something too big, she's going to assume you think she's fat. If you get something too small, she'll also assume you think she's fat."
"That doesn't make any sense," I scoffed.
"Sure it does," she said patiently. "If you buy something too big, she'll think that you think she really needs that larger size. If you buy something too small, she'll think you're hinting that she needs to lose weight and that's the size you'd like her to wear."
"Bella is perfect though! I don't want her to change," I insisted.
"Still, unless you are incredibly adept at guessing women's sizes, it's best to stay away from clothes."
"But there's nothing left! Is a Christmas card ok?"
Tanya thought about it for a moment before agreeing, "I think a card would be great. Let her know you're thinking of her."
"I'm always thinking of her," I commented.
Tanya showed me where the Hallmark store was, then stood back to see if I could choose an appropriate card on my own. I was pleased that she liked my first choice of a card with angels on the front.
The next day, I showed Tanya what I had written inside Bella's card.
Dear Bella,
This card reminded me of you — my angel. I miss you so much. I can hardly believe it's been four months since I saw you last. On one hand, I can still remember the salty taste of your skin; but on the other hand, it feels like an eternity has passed since I've touched you.
I'm doing well in school. I love my classes, and I aced my finals. I've made one good friend, while there are a few students in my major that I'm friendly with, but wouldn't exactly call friends.
It's unbelievable, I swear there's a 7-to-1 ratio of female to male students here. Several of the girls would be considered "pretty," but not one of them compares to you.
I hope you're doing well. I'll be back for you, just as I promised. I love you.
Edward
"Wow, who knew you were such the romantic?" Tanya mused as she read the card.
"Do you like it?" I asked nervously.
"Why did you tell her about all the female students here?"
"Because I wanted her to know that I still think she's more beautiful than any coed on campus," I explained.
"You really don't know anything about women, do you? That line is guaranteed to make Bella jealous of all the females around you."
"I'm not trying to make her jealous! Is that bad? Should I change it?" I asked frantically.
"No, no — keep it exactly as is," Tanya advised. "I think you want her to be jealous. You want her to think that you have other options, so she gets her head out of her ass and realizes what a catch she has in you."
Tanya couldn't stand the thought of me spending Christmas alone, so she invited me to Springfield to spend the holidays with her family. Tanya's parents were both first-generation Americans, their parents having emigrated from Russia shortly before they were born. Her mother's mother, Irina Petrova, lived with the family and was quite the outspoken granny.
And then there was her older brother, Demetri, who constantly looked at me with suspicion.
One morning as I was coming down to breakfast, I stopped short as I heard Tanya and her grandmother discussing me in the kitchen. "So tell me about you and this Edward."
"There's nothing to tell, Granny," Tanya replied. I could almost hear her rolling her eyes.
"He's hot… isn't that the word you kids use?"
I had to hold my hand over my mouth to hold in my laughter.
"I'm glad you've given up on this nonsense of dating girls and found yourself a nice boy," Tanya's grandmother remarked.
"Granny! Edward is my friend — just a friend. I still only date girls but I promise to give you great-grandchildren someday.
"Besides, Edward is totally in love with another woman."
"Oh? Then why isn't he spending his Christmas with her?"
"It's… complicated," Tanya replied. Well, there was an understatement.
January
"Ungh, Bella, you feel so good," I moaned. Bella continued to gyrate her hips, staring down at me as she rode me. Her perfects tits were swaying tantalizingly just out of my reach. I tried to reach out for her, but she held my arms up above my head so I couldn't touch.
"I hear you have been a very, very good boy this year, Edward," she purred.
"Yes! Yes, I've been good. Please, please can I touch you?" I begged.
"Not yet, my little pet. I want to see what you can do with just that amazing cock."
Ooh, I liked the sound of that. I began thrusting my hips off the bed slowly, pushing me deeper and deeper inside her.
Bella whimpered and let go of my hands. I knew that was my cue to touch her. Wasting no time, I reached up for her perfect breasts, squeezing them in my hands.
"Make me come, Edward," she whispered.
I reached one hand down to just above where we were joined and began moving my fingers in tight circles, listening closely to the sounds she was making.
"Oh, Edward, I love you," she cried, moments before her walls began to tighten around my cock.
I'd longed to hear those words for so long. I thrust hard three more times and then … "Fuck, fuck, I love you too, Bella," I screamed as I came.
I closed my eyes, totally spent. But when I opened them again, Bella was gone.
"B—Bella?" I called, looking around the room. There was no sign of Bella, just rumpled sheets and a tent in my underwear.
Bella wasn't here at all. It was just a dream. I crawled out of bed, trying to hold back my tears as I made my way to the bathroom.
I turned on the shower, waiting a couple minutes for it to heat up before stepping inside. I was still hard, so after I soaped up my hand, I took hold of my cock, squeezing gently before I began moving my hand up and down my shaft. After the disappointment of waking up alone in my bed, my heart wasn't really in it though. Even jerking off was no fun anymore.
February
"I'm getting Bella a gift for Valentine's Day whether you like it or not," I said to Tanya as I set my tray down on the table in the school cafeteria.
"Hello to you to, Cullen," she replied with a smirk.
"Tell me it's not a bad idea," I pleaded.
"It's only a bad idea if you try to buy her one of the gifts you were thinking of for Christmas."
"No, I want to get her flowers. Is that ok?"
"Perfect. Do you know what kind?"
"White roses."
"Hmmm… I think white roses are supposed to mean purity and innocence — that doesn't exactly apply to the two of you. Hang on," she added, pulling out her iPhone.
"Well, this could work. White roses also mean reverence and humility. Oh, and if they're thornless, they mean 'love at first sight'."
"Perfect, I'll get her thornless white roses then. I'll order them as soon as I find her address."
"Hold up, you weren't planning to have them sent to her apartment, were you?"
"Um, yeah?"
"No, no, no. Do you know where Bella works?" I nodded. "Great — send them there."
"To her office? Why?"
"Because receiving flowers for Valentine's Day is like a status symbol. Bella will feel special because she'll have something that not every woman is going to receive."
"I want her to feel special," I agreed.
"Not too big now — you want her to be able to carry the bouquet. Bigger isn't always better."
"That's what she said," I laughed. And then ducked when Tanya threw a roll at me.
"Tanya, I need you, it's an emergency."
I waited impatiently for Tanya to come over from her apartment in the next building before I made the final click to purchase Bella's bouquet of roses. When she knocked on the door, I was there within seconds to answer it.
"This better be good, Cullen," she growled. "I was just about to step into the shower."
"I need you to read what I'm going to have written on the card with Bella's roses and tell me it's ok," I begged.
"Fine," she sighed. "Show me."
Tanya followed me to where I had my laptop on the coffee table and I turned it so she could see.
Bella — For years I held that very first image of you in my mind, walking down the aisle carrying your bouquet of white roses. You were beautiful then, and you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I love you — Edward
"That's why you wanted white roses? Because she carried them in her wedding to your brother?" Tanya asked, sounding aghast.
"Um, yes? It won't be exactly like her wedding bouquet. I know there were other flowers in there besides roses, but I don't recognize them in any of the photos on the website."
"I don't know… do you really want to remind her of marrying your brother?" she asked skeptically.
"I want to remind her that I fell in love with her that day," I replied quietly. "And that I still love her."
"Well, it's sweet that you actually remember her bouquet from when you were 11…"
"So it's ok?"
Tanya nodded. "I hope she responds this time, Edward. I know how much you miss her."
I was eating lunch at a local pizza place with Tanya when my phone dinged with an incoming text message. I gasped when I opened it and saw a photo of Bella. She was holding my gift and smiling for the camera. I wanted to reach out my finger to trace her face, but Tanya was watching me and I didn't want her to think I was weird.
"What is that cheesy grin?"
"Bella," I whispered, showing Tanya the screen. "She looks so beautiful."
"She looks sad," Tanya observed.
"What do you mean? She's smiling."
"Yeah, but it doesn't quite touch her eyes. Your Bella is having a rough time of it, I think."
"Do you think it's because of Jasper? Or do you think she misses me?"
"Both, maybe? I do think she cares about you. I mean, how could she not?"
I started typing out a reply to Bella. I didn't need Tanya's help for this one.
You made my day, Beautiful. Thx, love U.
"I'm happy for you, Edward," Tanya smiled, reaching across the table to squeeze my hand. "She reached out to you. That's got to mean something."
March
It was spring break, and I felt like I was practically alone on campus. Tanya had offered to let me come home with her again, but I had already imposed so much over Christmas that I couldn't do that again.
And then there was Bella. What if she came to visit over spring break and I wasn't here?
Rationally I knew that Bella probably had no idea what our academic calendar was, although it was pretty easy to look up online. But she had to want to visit me.
I really wanted to take the week to go visit Bella. Tanya just raised an eyebrow when I brought up the idea at lunch one day.
I protested, but I knew she was right. Every single time I had fucked things up with Bella, it had been from pushing her too far, too fast.
Right from the beginning, I pushed her into doing something sexual with me while she was still married to my brother. Getting us caught on purpose was probably the worst thing I've ever done in my life. I mistakenly thought Bella was ready to give up on her marriage and be with me. I tried to force her to do what I wanted and it backfired — big time.
Even when we got back together — sort of — on her anniversary, I pushed her too far, trying to get her to admit that she loved me back. I wasn't sure my heart would ever fully recover from the beating it took that day.
And then when I left Chicago, I made the mistake of asking for the world first, instead of starting with something simpler, like a long-distance relationship. Tanya finally got me to see exactly what I had been asking of Bella — to give up her job, her friends (the ones she had left, anyway) and her life, to come start over in a new city with a college freshman. I didn't think I'd move for me, either.
Registration for summer classes began just over a week ago. I still wasn't sure what I planned to do. I had a lot of Advanced Placement credits from high school, so if I went to school through the next two summers, I could graduate with my Bachelor's in only three years. I could go back to Chicago — and to Bella — in just two more years. Or, I could try to go back this summer and win her heart.
Unless Bella had moved on with someone else, I was pretty sure I could easily get her back in my bed if I returned to Chicago this summer. It wasn't cockiness, just a fact: Bella just couldn't resist me sexually. Most of me thought that was the best idea ever, especially Little Edward, who was getting mighty tired of my hand.
But a teeny tiny part of me was maturing and wasn't sure I should let Bella use me for sex again, the way she did last summer. I knew what I was doing when I had agreed to her "fuck buddies" arrangement last summer, but I just wasn't sure I could let myself be used again. I wanted a real relationship with her, not just sex. I wanted to hear her tell me that she loved me, too.
April
"Ugh, why do we have to take this class?" I complained to Tanya as we sat in my apartment one night working on our joint project for "Cultures & Values." Tanya lived in one of the four-bedroom apartments, and as Riley was always out, the two of us almost always studied at my place.
"Because we go to a liberal arts school," she replied.
"I just want to be done with all my required classes and get to studying music therapy full time."
"Soon, Edward," Tanya smiled. "I feel the same way about my own classes."
"I can't believe you're taking summer school," she added a few minutes later.
"I told you why — so I can graduate faster."
I'd finally made the decision to take two classes this summer so that I could graduate — and get back to Bella — in only two more years. But with Tanya going home for the summer, who was going to stop me from driving back to Chicago every weekend to try to woo her?
"Let me see your laptop," Tanya said. "I need to look something up." Without a thought, I passed my laptop over to her.
"Oh. My. God."
I looked up at Tanya, confused. "What?"
"Really, Cullen? You've got a porn site up on the other tab?"
"Uhhh… I thought that was closed."
"You thought wrong," she deadpanned. "Let's see what you're into."
Immediately I tried to take the laptop from Tanya, but she held it out of my reach.
"Well, well… she looks like Bella… with bigger boobs."
"Ok, Tanya!"
"I bet you turn the sound off and watch this in class," she mused.
"I do not!"
Tanya laughed. "Chill out, Cullen. You're a normal 19-year-old guy. I'd be worried if you didn't have porn on your PC."
"You don't think I'm a pervert?" I asked nervously.
"I didn't say that. But no more than any other teenage guy. I'm still traumatized by what I accidentally saw in my brother's bedroom one day." I laughed as Tanya shuddered.
"I miss her, Tanya," I said quietly.
"I know you do," she replied with a sad smile. "You know that expression, 'if you love something, set it free'?" I nodded. "That's what you have to keep doing. If you and Bella are meant to be, she needs to figure it out on her own."
"I know. I do really believe that now. It's just… I really miss her. I love her so much, Tanya."
"You know, I didn't really believe that when you first told me about falling for your new sister-in-law at the age of 11, but I do trust it now. If Bella is what you want, you deserve to have her. But you can't force her to love you back."
"I know, and so I just wait… impatiently."
"And watch porn," Tanya added, grabbing my right arm, squeezing my bicep.
"What are you doing?"
"Checking for the arm muscles you must've built up jacking off for the last eight months," she giggled, before jumping up and running across the room.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed the second outtake! I was going to forget the porn until moosals reminded me!
Sorry to the Tanya haters — you know who you are!
