Yako's Joke
Chapter 28: Secrets and Babies
Egg Tutorial:
To clear up any mishaps about Yako's egg here's how it works. The egg is made of smooth rock with black and green designs on it. The rock has miniature spores that will absorb warmth and transfer that heat through the egg to maintain the baby. Now here's the new information-to be honest I never really thought about it until now. Since the baby will be born human due to the dense air it will not have the strength to crack the egg. The spores will be able to weaken the rocks by pumping some of the heat into the rocks. By the end of the four months the rock shell will simply slide apart, allowing the baby perfect freedom to come out.
"The author sure is creative with this egg anatomy…" Yako said, holding her egg closely. Every once in a while she had to get out and stretch. Neuro had explained to her the importance of a mother's warmth to the egg; bodily heat was somehow different from regular mechanically produced heat. The baby needed her close which is why she diligently stayed in the nest with it. Ai and Sai had moved out after the birth, no longer needed for anything. Their visits were frequent though and their company was wonderful.
"It's been four and a half months! Where's my baby?!" Yako whined, holding the blanket-wrapped egg as she plopped backwards in the nest. "Neuro…make the baby come out."
"What do you suggest? I rip it out? If you're so hungry I'll get you something," the demon replied.
"I'm not going to eat the baby! I just want it to come out. I want to hold it and put it in the bed with us…besides," she victoriously grinned. "You don't get to have sex until our wedding and we can't have the honeymoon until the baby is born."
"Trying to hold that stick body as blackmail?" Neuro grinned. "You're just poking the bear. Once that honeymoon comes and I show you the true ferocity of a demon, you'll beg to be back in that nest!"
"You sure are cocky. I just hope you stay that way in bed," Yako chuckled.
"A pun? You truly are Japanese…" Neuro frowned. "In Hell puns are punishable by death."
"In Hell you give births to weird colored eggs and build nests." Yako snorted. She then wrapped her arms around the egg and hugged it gently. "But I love my egg!"
"I'll fix you some scrambled eggs for breakfast," Neuro said, walking to the kitchen.
"That's sick!" Yako fussed. "I'm not hungry anyway, just anxious. I really want to hold the baby. I know it's going to be a girl."
"And how do you know human-of-little-talents?"
"We women have intuition. My baby will be a girl," Yako smiled. "And as we already decided chapters ago, her name will be Aya."
"No Kaito?"
"No Kaito. That's a boy's name and our baby will definitely be a girl." Yako confidently declared, rubbing the egg. She then felt the shell slowly move underneath her palm.
Crack "Oh my god!! I broke it!! I broke the egg!!" Yako panicked. "Neuro!! Use your magic to fix it!!"
"It's not broken…it's hatching!" he happily declared as he ran to the nest. Yako's panic shifted to excitement as she grasped the situation. The anticipating smile in the demon's face told her this was a good thing. She inched away as the egg's rocky shell slid apart. Yako focused, praying inside her head. "Please don't have a beak; please don't have a beak…"
Neuro prayed too. "Love puzzles. Love PUZZLESSS!!" The baby's few blonde hairs could be seen poking out of the egg. Yako placed her hands over her mouth as she watched. Suddenly a small squeal came from the egg and Yako could see two large green eyes looking back at her. "Oh my god…..our baby….our baby is born!!" she sweetly said, moving the shell back and reaching into it. She felt the smooth, wet skin of her baby and carefully picked it up from the shell. She grabbed one of the blankets and began to dry the baby off. Its cheeks were silk soft and round, its hands small and its feet just as tiny. "Neuro, it's a girl!" Yako cheered.
"A girl?" he said in surprise. "That means her name will be-"
"Aya. Aya Nougami," Yako gently blushed, rocking the baby slowly. "Our baby! Right out of an egg. Just like a gift box."
Aya then began to wiggle about, crying in Yako's arms. Its hands began to squeeze her chest. Neuro grinned. "You know what she wants," he smiled. "Take that shirt off!"
"Don't taint a special moment between baby and mother," Yako snooted, lifting her shirt up. The baby headed straight for the nipple, nursing from her new mother greedily. "Geez! She sure loves to drink milk!"
"Maybe instead of looking for mysteries she'll look for breast, or breast milk," Neuro chuckled, rubbing the baby's head. "A perverted baby!"
"She sure sucks loudly," Yako sweetly said, holding the baby closer. "But this means I was right about the girl stuff."
"One point for you, a trillion for me," Neuro grinned, keeping his eyes on the baby. Who would have guessed she would have come into this world ready to eat? It must be from whatever mutant gene made Yako so gluttonous.
"We have to be careful Neuro," Yako said. "This baby is going to take over our lives for the next few years. I want Aya to feel all the love she deserves."
"Yes, I've already prepared her Baby's First Torture Chamber," Neuro said. "She'll need to learn how to keep you in your place as early as possible."
"Shh…" Yako whispered, holding the baby close. The suckling could be heard, the baby coughed a little but Yako patted her back. When Aya was done, Yako lifted her onto her shoulders and patted her back until she heard the burp. The baby threw up a little, as they both had expected and read in books. Neuro pulled his hands out and opened his arms, Yako nodding in response, handing him the baby.
"Aya," he said. "My little girl."
"Are you blushing?" Yako smiled.
"No. There's lava in my cheeks," he said.
"I know that's a lie."
"We're here," Ai said, walking in with Sai and Godai.
"Shh!" Yako looked over the crib with Neuro, watching their baby sleep in her pajamas that Ai gave them. "Aya's sleeping."
"The baby is here?" Ai said in surprise. "Why didn't you tell us?"
"It just hatched," Yako smiled, caressing the baby's soft head as Neuro cradled it.
"You named it after a murderer?" Sai asked.
"It's still a wonderful name," Yako said. "But isn't she beautiful?"
"She is enchanting," Ai said. "It makes me want one of my own." Sai grunted, catching onto the hint. "Hopefully I'll forget what you say," he said. "By mutating my cells." Ai grinned.
"Maybe I'll forget to take my birth control pill before I seduce you into my trap," she replied. Sai couldn't respond to that. No man could.
"Oh, I almost forgot," Yako said, quickly running towards one of the boxes she kept close to the nest. She pulled out the pajamas Ai and Sai had given them during the baby shower. "I wanted this to be the first pajamas Aya would wear. She looks adorable!"
"Did you put her diaper on first?" Ai asked.
"Crap….strip the baby down Neuro," Yako sighed.
"I love it when you talk dirty," he grinned. He stepped aside, allowing Yako to place the diaper on the baby but she stood in her place with a devilish grin, handing him the diaper.
"You do it new daddy," she playfully suggested. "Let's see if all those baby classes paid off."
"It's only natural you would test me," he said. "But this will be simple. There!"
"Impressive. Now change Aya's diaper."
"Hmm? She's already…."
"Yep. Babies are regular crap machines," Yako smirked.
"That explains you," the demon said, unwrapping the diaper and pulling out the baby wipes.
"Well, this sure is a surprise," Sai said. "Never thought you'd end coming to earth and doing something like this."
"It is a huge loss of time but the ultimate mystery can wait. Aya needs her father to explain how to destroy cities," the demon said, smiling as he held the baby in the air, feeling and unusual sense of accomplishment and pride. Tears began to roll down the baby's face.
"Stop scaring it with your demon face!" Yako fussed, taking Aya back into her arms. The baby clawed at her shirt and Yako sighed in resignation. "I guess she was just hungry again…" she said, lifting her shirt up. "Drink up you little monster. Drain your mommy bone dry."
"It should be okay, I'm sure how much you eat somehow affects how much milk you produce," Sai casually said.
"Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing," Ai noted. "It helps the baby digest and provides numerous health benefits that formula can't."
"That explains why I'm so healthy," Sai grinned.
"Uh….Sai….what does that mean?" Yako fearfully asked. "Where and why would you be drinking breast milk?" Ai started to glow red, turning her face away. "Sai….maybe you should be quiet for a while," the woman suggested.
"Ye-yeah…" he nervously muttered. "I said too much."
"Ai….have you ever been pregnant before?" Yako asked.
"No. There are many women who can produce milk without giving birth," Ai explained.
"Wow! That's amazing!" Yako exclaimed. "I never knew that!"
"What the hell?! Aren't we worried about who's chest Sai is sucking off of?" Godai ignorantly yelled. "He might be having an affair."
"You imbecile…" Neuro moaned. "He has a milk fetish and Ai is able to-"
"We should end this chapter here!" Ai quickly said.
