Chapter twenty six: Wednesday
JPOV
May 24, Wednesday
Today was Wednesday. Jasper day.
Am I a fool for letting her go? Will I regret this thoroughly?
I know my girl, and if I tell her she can't see him, she will definitely seek him out. And she would do it secretly.
I won't let that happen. I try to be open minded. But knowing my girl also means that I know she'll have a hard time resisting him. And he'll get confused by her feelings as well. Been there, done that. This thing is in the move, and I'm afraid it can't be stopped.
I have no idea what to do. Losing my sanity.
I couldn't work in the garage, because today I didn't want Edward picking up on my thougths, so I phased and ran around the woods, aimlessly.
I tried to soothe my mind with some reassuring thoughts.
The fact that Ness told me about her feelings wasn't all bad... I suppose. I think I always knew how he felt about her. We used to have this competition between us, while neither of us felt threatened by Emmett, the only one who actually saw her as a sister. And I know vampires don't easily change how they feel. I always respected the distance he held. Well, not literally because he's around her all the time, but emotionally. He never acted jealous about me and her being together, and he never showed his true feelings in those five years.
I guess she had to find out, now she's a mind reader. Aparentely the clouding that works so well with Edward has no effect on her. And I guess she had to be affected by his feelings as well. She's got such a warm heart, has so much to give, and she wants to make everybody happy.
So in a way it was a really good sign that she wanted to tell me. In all honesty. But that thought never really eased my mind. I was in a turmoil, and the activated dominant gene didn't help me with that. I needed to claim her even more than before.
At that she didn't complain.
I tried to be casual about the whole thing, but my possessive side was awake. Whenever it appeared, she furrowed her eyebrow and I know she slowly started to regret telling me.
I couldn't have that. Had to try harder. She needs to keep trusting me.
As I ran around in the woods, I was suddenly aware of a presence. I looked around and sniffed the air, but couldn't smell anything or anybody. That's odd. My wolf senses are sharp. I stopped in my tracks and tried to pick up the scent. I was sure somebody was here.
- It's Ethan. I'm in your head. Need me to phase back?
- Oh, um. No that's okay. No secrets in a pack right? Where are you?
- The forest at first beach. Just getting away from woman trouble for a while. And from hearing your thoughts I guess it doesn't change when married, huh?
- Guess not. Can I join you? We could make a tour around the borderline.
- Sure. I'll wait here.
I ran over to him, and tried to focus on wolf stuff, paws on the ground, smells in the air, animal sounds. Anything but Ness and Jasper together. They had no bussiness with that. I could tell that he was doing the same. Apparently some girl Maya was driving him crazy, playing hard to get.
When I reached him, we adjusted our pace and started running along the shoreline, going south. It took some getting used to, having someone in my head again, but being part of a pack was something I had missed as well. What William had said about suddenly having new brothers was true. You have no choice but to trust each other.
- Don't you have finals to study for?
- Yes dad. I'll get to that later.
- I used to run too. Before diving into books. Or work on my car.
- Or hang out with Bella Swan, right?
- Um. That too yeah.
- No secrets in a pack. Guess you know about Maya as well. She's all over me all the time, but when I make a move, she just smiles and turns away. I swear some day that girl is gonna get something she's not prepared for.
- Maybe that is exactly what she wants.
- I don't know. I think she's just messing with me.
- Does she do the same with other boys?
- No. She's around me all the time. Her chosen victim.
- And she puts a lot of energy into this messing?
- You bet.
- Then she wants some. You know you could always reverse the roles.
- How so?
- Tell her you're tired of waiting. You're not interested anymore. That you met someone else who doesn't keep you at distance.
- I haven't.
- She doesn't need to know that. I bet she comes chasing after you in no time. But you have to be convincing. You have to turn away when she comes at you.
- I'll keep that in mind.
- Tell me how it worked out, okay?
- I'm sure you'll find out whether I tell you or not.
- Right. So what's up with the other boys? Any girlfriends there?
- Noah imprinted.
- Really? I didn't know.
- Yeah. With the girl next door. They're really disgusting. She's only fifteen so the things they're doing are actually illegal.
- How about Andrew?
- He's got this crush on his teacher. But we're not allowed to say anything about that. Or even think about it. He's got quite a temper. I mean, we all have temper problems sometimes, but Andrew…
I saw an image of Andrew and Ethan fighting, and a memory of a broken jaw. I flinched.
- Every pack needs his Paul, I guess.
- I heard about him too yeah. And now he's such a pushover.
- My sister tamed him nicely.
- She sure did. I ain't gonna let any girl tame me.
- Just you wait. They've got their ways.
- 'll see.
- How about William, any girl interested in him?
- Um… Lots of girls actually, but…
- I know. He only cares for Ness, right?
- Something like that. Look, I'm not supposed to think about his secrets when you're in my head, so could we change the subject?
- It's not really a secret, is it?
- Whatever. Some things are secret.
That last sentence was added silently and then he started humming a song in his head. I wasn't going to push him further, because William would find out and give him a hard time.
I focussed on the forest again, and his humming stopped. We were just running alongside each other, no more thoughts, just wood, ground, sand and air.
When we got back to the point we started, our ways separated. He phased back to go study, and I ran back home. My worried mind was calmed a bit, but instead I was god damn horny and ready to claim my Nessie when she got back. Fuck all Jasper thoughts right out of her.
I was pleased to no end, to see that she was home already. I think she wanted to prove to me that I was more important.
She jumped in my arms when I entered the living room, her legs wrapped around my hips.
I was even more pleased to find that she wore a thin shirt, a short skirt and no underwear. My girl knows me as well.
"God Nessie, I've gone crazy all day without you and you with him."
"I appreciate you trying honey," she answered and then whispered in my ear "and you know I like how you reclaim me. Show me who I belong to."
She didn't need to repeat that.
Pounding my Nessie on the kitchen table, hearing her say she was mine, was better for my sanity than running through the woods all day.
Good thing she wasn't human anymore, I didn't need to hold back. On the contraray, she wanted me to let go, of all the fear and frustration, transformed into sexual energy. And she liked it rough. So that's what she got. I pushed into her violently, untill we both came undone.
Another Wednesday survived. One day at the time.
