A/N: I'm sorry it has taken so long to put up this chapter. I have honestly tried working on it at any spare moment I've had, but I've just been so incredibly busy starting at clinical school and being in the hospital with patients for long hours. I hope you can forgive me and carry on with the story :) On a brighter note, the next chapter is half written already, so the next update will be sooner! For now, I hope you enjoy this next instalment. Thank you for your patience, I am very grateful.

Chapter 28: Passionate Encounters

"Where've you been all day, Snape?"

Severus slowly looked around at Evan Rosier, barely registering his words. His thoughts had been locked firmly on Lily – and why on earth should they not be? She had said yes… She had let him kiss her! More than once too, so she must've liked it! He could remember each of her caresses as precisely as if they were engraved like delicate murals on the chamber walls of his heart. Even now, thinking of the precious hours they had shared together in the Forest, Severus was amazed that he should be so fortunate to be given Lily's love, and he had to make a conscious effort not to let some of this alien happiness show on his face.

"Huh?" he responded.

Rosier leant over his plate and pointed his fork at him with a mildly accusing stare. "What happened to our little practice? I thought we were having one this afternoon. You told us we'd be learning something good this time. You know that Wilkes is getting impatient? He wants to start using them."

Severus glowered at Rosier as he found himself uprooted well and truly from his pleasant dreams against his will.

"Not until he can perform the curse and the counter-curse sufficiently well and gains my approval," he snapped.

Rosier was irritating him. Severus normally got along well with Rosier – better in fact than with the other Slytherins – and he was displeased to find himself arguing with him. It was valuable to have a close ally in his House, particularly one who came from a Pureblood and influential family, with connections in illustrious places. So it was even more annoying that he was pestering him like a demanding toddler! Why couldn't he just get the hint and leave him alone to his pleasurable thoughts? He wanted to savour this exquisite moment and bask in the aftermath of the best time of his life, for goodness' sake!

"Well, if that is the case then we do need more sessions, Snape."

"You'll get one tomorrow!" Severus retorted, tucking into his dinner.

Unperturbed, Rosier persisted with his question. He lowered his voice conspiratorially. "Why didn't you do one today? Where were you?"

"Nowhere that's any of your business," Severus replied airily between his mouthfuls.

"Nowhere? I saw that look on your face when you came in."

Severus' head whipped around.

"What?" His heart flipped and double-flipped as he saw the smirk sitting on Rosier's face.

"Since when have you smiled, Snape?" Rosier teased.

Severus wanted nothing more than to send a sharp, caustic comment right back at him to wipe that disgusting gloating look off his smug face, but for once he was lost for words.

In frustration he pursed his lips and resorted to mustering up a fierce expression that was the furthest physically possible from a smile while pointedly shovelling more food into his mouth.

Rosier grinned. "Well come on, then! Who's the girl?"

The insinuation that a girl was involved in the matter shocked Severus into swallowing his half-chewed mouthful in one gulp, and he shuddered uncomfortably. "What?" he hissed, his eyes flashing at Rosier.

"Please, don't insult my intelligence. I've spent over five years around you, Snape! I know what's going on. Who is she? Is it Evans? I knew there was a foundation to that rumour."

"Leave this alone, Rosier!" Severus snarled, feeling uncomfortably hot under the collar and alarmed at how he had suddenly found himself in deep water when he had been so careful. He couldn't let Lily be brought into this mess! This conversation was getting very dangerous.

"You got lucky, didn't you?" Rosier raised his eyebrows appraisingly. "Good on you, Snape. Nice one."

Severus opened and closed his mouth, so astounded that he couldn't settle on what to say in such an absurd conversation. "Would you hear yourself?" he sneered finally. "What makes you think she'd make out with me?"

"So there is a girl!" Rosier said triumphantly.

Severus silently fumed, wishing an imminent and highly painful death on the prying Slytherin.

"Come on, who is she? Was she good?"

"Leave her out of this!"

"Ah, come on, Snape. She must've been good to put a spring in your step. Was it Evans?"

"It most certainly was not!" Severus said with fierce conviction, lying out of his arse with all guns blazing to try to keep his relationship with Lily quiet. "What's it to you, anyway?" he fired back.

Rosier shrugged and continued unabashed, his eyes roaming the hall as if he might be able to detect whom he might have had a liaison with, if it was not with Lily Evans. "I could do with someone good like that to… ah… 'release the tension' …have a bit of fun with. Unless - of course - this wasn't just a one-off?"

"I didn't shag her!" Severus said hotly. He felt his face flush with heat and his head was overloaded with so many enrapturing yet inappropriate images and blazing anger that his skull felt like it was about to forcefully explode.

"Of course you didn't," Rosier replied, sending him a cheeky wink.

A low, menacing growl rumbled deep in Severus' chest.

"Okay, okay, you didn't shag her, whichever girl you were with," Rosier conceded. "But you sure could do with one! It would take care of a lot of your problems, Snape, believe me. You could do with lightening up a bit more. Make sure you meet up with this girl again, and this time take it further than just a snog. You won't regret it."

Severus scowled. How dare Rosier talk about Lily in this way, as if she existed for no further purpose than to fulfil a boy's bodily needs? It made him boil with anger to find her degraded so crudely! She was so gentle, so kind, so compassionate… hearing her debased in such a vulgar manner was in his eyes tantamount to a heinous crime! Lily was an angel, not some filthy whore! She deserved infinitely more respect than Rosier was bestowing on her, and it was driving him up the wall!

This complete ass was dismissing her as if there was no room for sensitivity or warmth between the two of them, as if feelings did not exist beyond lust and satisfaction! How pigheaded and repulsively callous this intruding pureblood was!

He would never tell Rosier Lily's name, whatever the illustrious street credentials he would earn from going out with the most attractive girl in the school! That meant nothing compared to Lily's safety and happiness. Those things meant everything to him. He would protect Lily to his own death! And Rosier would never, never get his pawing hands on her! He would kill anyone who dared so much as touch her!

The fork in Severus' hand was now bent into nothing more than an indescribable twist of metal that was utterly useless. He cast it onto the table and turned in his seat to glare murderously at Rosier.

"Just shut up, will you?" Severus hissed, his voice deadly thick with venom. "You know nothing, nothing! Don't you dare say anything else, or speak of such rubbish to anyone. You don't know what you're messing with. Just leave this alone, or I'll personally ensure that your life is a misery!"

"Ho, is that a threat?" Rosier laughed mockingly, but a hint of fear cowered in the back of his eyes and it did not go unnoticed by Severus.

He pushed his face threateningly into Rosier's. "You know bloody well that it is," he snarled, delighting victoriously in watching the colour drain from Rosier's not-so-smug face. "You know exactly what I'm capable of."

Severus returned to his meal, and for a few minutes an apologetic silence beside him. He began to worry that his overzealous reaction might spur Rosier into going snooping behind his back, but as they moved onto dessert Rosier enquired politely about his latest potions experiments, and Severus sensed that peril had faded away.

He was secretly rather satisfied with the outcome. Mulciber might not eye him with any ounce of respect, but at least it was now clear that there were some among the Slytherins, like Rosier, who did recognise him for what he was.

One of the Dark Lord's most valuable – and valued – young recruits. He was moving up into higher circles. And that was not to be laughed at.

xXxXx

Lily edged her way between the bookcases, her heart in her mouth. Severus had to be here, he had to! It was Sunday afternoon, and she had not spoken to him since before dinner last night; she had not even seen him and the separation was agony! She had already visited the Library twice this morning with Alice, on the pretext of taking out the wrong book for her Potions homework, and she knew there was no way she would be able to string out this excuse for another time. This was her last chance of finding Severus today, and her nerves were jangling as she peered around each bookcase, hoping beyond hope that his tall, stark form would be there, waiting for her!

Lily glanced back to where Alice was dawdling wearily near the exit, and hastened up another aisle. The Library was very quiet and there was no sign of Severus, but nevertheless she would have to grab a book from the Potions row to satisfy Alice.

She passed by some tables, and as she did so her eye was caught by a place laid out with parchment, a quill and an inkbottle. Lily faltered, eying up the empty chair and the cloak hanging over its back, and scanned the area. No one was in sight. But when she bent over the desk, feeling more and more by the second like she was doing something wrong, the familiar script on the open roll of parchment leapt up at her and she nearly jumped with joy. It was Severus'!

Swallowing nervously, she crept towards the next section of bookcases, where the Potions volumes were kept. She held her breath and cautiously bent her head around the corner.

Oh god! He was there!

A tall, slender silhouette was framed strikingly by the window at the end of the aisle, and the weak October light fell down onto the open book in his hands. As Lily watched, not saying a word, Severus bowed over the book and his long fingers travelled down the worn pages. Though the action was innocuous, it reminded her vividly of how he had traced the same path down her cheek yesterday, and the evocative sight coaxed her out from behind the bookcase.

As she quietly approached Severus the nerves in her arms and hands began to tingle so badly that it was near unbearable. Unaware of her appearance, Severus returned the weathered book to its shelf with a slight frown between his eyebrows and resumed his hunt for a more suitable book. It took a lot of courage for Lily to finally find her ability to speak and alert him to her arrival.

"I had begun to think that you would not come…"

The longing in her voice suddenly sounded so obvious to her, and mortified Lily quickly turned and pulled the nearest book off the shelf, striving to look occupied and casual. Severus' head turned a fraction of a degree towards her, informing her that he had heard her greeting, but he was otherwise motionless. How in Merlin's name did he manage to look so unfazed – so calm – when the very air around them seemed to buzz as if it was alive - ?!

Lily could not feign nonchalance any longer; her gaze slipped across the open page and up to Severus. She could only see one side of his face, but she saw his eyes momentarily fall closed and even in the shadow of his curtains of hair there was no denying that his lips had curled up into a soft smile. He turned away from the bookcase and as his black eyes met her twinkling eyes, Lily felt utterly paralysed.

"Just because I was not here, it does not mean that I did not want to be," he replied smoothly, the low timbre of his voice making her shudder as effectively as if his hands had skimmed lightly over her flesh. He swept his eyes over her appreciatively, hovering on the green ribbon with which she had tied up her hair. "What are you doing in here?"

Colour flooded Lily's cheeks and she stared down at the floor. "Just trying to find the right book for our Potions homework," she said quietly, hoping that he would buy into her story – it was half true, anyway. "I've been attempting to catch up on all my homework today." Her eyes flicked up to his, speaking volumes.

"…Attempting and failing?" Severus whispered with a smirk, taking the scruffy textbook from her slackened grip, slotting it back into the bookcase and immediately selecting a different book.

Lily bit her lip as he handed it to her. "Maybe," she replied with a grin.

Severus rested an elbow on one of the shelves and leaned casually across the aisle in front of her. "Dear me, that won't do, Miss Evans," he scolded, shaking his head in mock disappointment. "And I thought Potions was your favourite subject to study."

Lily tipped her face up, feeling bolder. "Not quite," she murmured as her eyes danced with his. "There is another subject that I would far rather be studying right now…"

Severus' eyebrows nearly shot off his head, they flew skywards so quickly. "Is there now…?" he purred. That way he looked her in the eyes again, it was so piercing that she could not breathe! There was nowhere to hide from such intensity. Within those mesmerising black pools was such swirling love that it felt unreal. His intimacy was so overwhelming that she thought she could faint at any moment!

Yet Severus appeared not to realise her predicament, or if he did then he did not mind the effect he was having upon her. He leant in, his rapid breaths filling the space between them. A soft moan rumbled in his throat and he let out a murmur.

"This feels like a dream…"

Lily's eyes fell shut, her mind reeling. She felt that no truer thing had ever been said. This moment felt unbelievable… wonderful… a sheer miracle. Severus' heart echoed hers, and she could finally see a ray of hope on the horizon, a chance that she could bring him back from the edge of darkness. There was no need to conceal her love for this tall, mysterious sixteen-year-old, no need to push herself away from him or condemn him. Beyond them was a future that was as yet more than just a dream… it was real.

Filled with happiness, Lily opened her eyes. Her excitement spiked as she found that Severus' dark eyes were consumed with longing. She became very still as he slid a hand into the small of her back and slowly began to draw nearer to her lips – she could not have moved even if she had wanted to. She was spellbound by those burning black depths of fire.

Severus was only a breath away from kissing her when their secluded meeting was disturbed.

"Lily! There you are!"

Lily spun around in a flash, her heart racing with fright, clutching her book to her chest tightly as if it might protect her. It was with some relief that she saw Alice standing at the end of the row, not the librarian or a Slytherin – or worse, one of the Marauders. But she was afraid by the way Alice was staring accusingly at Severus, afraid that Alice would deduce that her close friendship with him had finally developed into something even more tight-knitted.

Quaking, Lily glanced timidly at Severus. He had hung his head, and it was clear to her that he was crestfallen at having been denied his tender moment with her. Lily felt terrible. But Severus appeared to firmly stamp down on his disappointment, for when his eyes ascended to fix on Alice they were filled with bitter resentment.

Alice lifted her chin a little higher and turned back to Lily.

"Oh – I see you're with Snape," she said, her tone clipped.

"It's fine," Lily said breathily. Beside her, Severus' lips were rising into a smirk and he was fighting hard to tug them back down. Lily was filled with frustration. Why, oh why did she have to be so terribly obvious? Why couldn't she lie about anything? She thought she would die of humiliation!

"I hope you have finally found the book you need," Alice continued sternly. "I absolutely refuse to be dragged back here with you for a fourth time!"

Severus stared at her, apparently even more highly amused by this information. Lily pointedly gave him the cold shoulder and stoically ignored him and his questioning gaze. "Yes, it's definitely the right one this time. Sorry, Alice."

"Are you ready to go then?"

Lily hesitated.

"I see…" Alice said, looking at Severus again with a knowing expression that made Severus bristle.

"No, no, I'm ready," Lily said quickly before Severus could throw an inflammatory remark at Alice. "Severus was just helping me back there…"

Alice raised her eyebrows. "Really?" She shook her head disbelievingly and turned away, heading back to the exit. "Let's go."

"I'll be with you in a minute – just give me a few moments – " Lily stuttered.

Once Alice had disappeared she spun around, only to find that Severus had already wrapped his arms around her! Lily blinked in surprise, but before she could say anything he pressed his lips to hers and dove into her mouth. Totally caught unawares, she lost all strength and would have slid weakly to the floor if Severus' gentle hold on her had not become firmer and steadied her.

She soared with euphoria, having wished so hard for Severus to kiss her again, but she had never expected to find herself being kissed by him in the Library of all places! She responded to him in rapture, and satisfied Severus eagerly tangled his fingers in the ribbon in her hair. Overcome with desire, he nudged her back against the bookcase and the audacious action sent thrills of excitement blazing through her body like fireworks. Lily distantly heard herself moan, and the sound appeared to delight Severus very much. He pressed himself flush against her body and his kissing became even more tender, completely drowning her in pleasure.

Oh Merlin! This was so much more exciting than when she had fantasised about Severus kissing her in the Library!

The Prefect part of her mind kept reminding her that it was terribly risky to be entwining herself with Severus in such a public place, but Severus appeared to have deemed the odds favourable enough to gamble the chance of being caught, and if it was good enough for him then it was good enough by her!

And she had to admit that the tingles of danger and Severus' lack of inhibitions were incredibly enticing… There was nothing she could do to resist - !

Lily ran her hands up his chest to grip the front of his shirt and pulled Severus closer, never wanting his kiss to end.

xXxXx

Severus slowly drew away from Lily, breathless and hands trembling. For a few whirling moments he kept his eyes shut, trying exceedingly hard to keep a grasp on the remaining shreds of his self-control. He knew that in this state of arousal he was inches away from losing himself in the heat of the moment; but he could not let that happen to the girl he treasured so dearly, especially when she deserved so much better than that. His mind backtracked to his conversation with Rosier, and once more he felt conviction that she deserved to be treated far more reverentially.

He dared not open his eyes yet, not when Lily would see in them a roaring fire that had been set alight by her kiss. He had to get a grip, dammit! He would not scare Lily away, and he would not treat her anything less than with the reverence she was worthy of. And he had to control his desire, not go bandying it around in the Library, for Merlin's sake! It was wonderful to finally be alone and able to kiss Lily, after spending the morning deep in the dungeons teaching obscure dark curses to his Slytherin companions. But he knew it was wrong and incredibly reckless to be entwining himself with her in such a public place! Yes, few students were industrious enough to be in the Library on a Sunday, but he couldn't be too careful! He could not live with himself if they were caught and Lily was landed in trouble – with the teachers or the other Slytherins – all because of his pitiful sham of self-control.

It was just so difficult to hold back when he had been craving an opportunity to kiss her again so badly, and when she responded to him so beautifully, sending tingling sensations flowing over his skin and making him feel nothing shy of fantastic…

Trying to carefully guard his passion, Severus opened his eyes. Lily smiled at him and he could not restrain his heart from soaring with jubilation. Knowing his eyes would soon betray him, he dipped his head and pressed a light kiss to her rosy cheek, making a devious attempt to distract her.

"Why in Merlin's name did you come here three times today?" he murmured against her soft skin, feeling very sly.

Lily looked highly embarrassed and tried to wriggle out of his arms. "To find the book, of course," she answered, albeit somewhat unconvincingly.

Severus looked her straight in the eye and tried to resist a snigger. "You took out the wrong book twice and you dragged Alice along with you three times?"

He was smirking openly now. Lily swatted him. "Oh, be quiet! And stop trying to wrangle it out of me when you know the answer. I don't know why you're complaining, anyway."

"Complaining?" Severus said incredulously, watching Lily walk back down the aisle with a pang in his heart. "I would only complain that you did not take long enough in finding your book."

Lily had reached the end of the aisle, and as she turned around she smiled.

"I'm sorry I have to go, Sev. See you later?" Her whisper carried down the aisle and made a shiver run down his spine. Lily's hopefulness was all too clear in her voice and he drank it up with pleasure.

"I am afraid that you will not see me," Severus replied cryptically, fully aware of how important it was that he concealed his presence at the Vallatus class, "but rest assured that I will see you." He gazed intently at her, relishing the half-smile creeping up her face. Lily nodded and fidgeted with the book she was holding as she steeled herself to leave.

Severus could hear Alice grumbling the holdup and he raised his eyebrows pointedly at Lily. Only then did she snatch one last glance of him and propel herself around the corner, hurrying off to silence her annoying friend before Madam Pince caught wind of the girl's vocal complaints.

Severus lingered there alone in the aisle for a few minutes longer, tracing a finger over the book spines thoughtfully. Finally he levered himself back into his seat, vowing to steer his mind away from Lily and the treat in store for him tonight until all of his onerous homework was completed to a noteworthy standard. Thank Merlin for Occlumency, or all of his endeavours would have been fruitless.

xXxXx

There was something different about her.

There was something in the shy smile that lingered perpetually upon her lips, and in the effortless ease with which it broke out into a beam of undiluted joy. There was a lively wittiness in the way she talked with her friends, and a resonance in her laugh that brought an indescribable warmth upon everyone around her. She seemed to be glowing with a golden radiance, as if any cause for dampening her spirits had flown away and left behind a brilliant blue sky that stretched on for eternity.

But if anything gave it away, it was the vibrancy in Lily's eyes, a spark that hinted to a great source of happiness, some wonderful secret.

James found his eyes magnetised back to them now, and for a few moments he watched Lily surreptitiously, searching for any clue. All day long, whenever he had caught sight of her in the Common Room, he had tried and tried with all his might to read her gloriously green eyes, willing them to turn upon him and give him the answer he so longed for. But she had let nothing slip, and there was nothing that Alice or Mary could tell him that helped.

And even though he wished with all his heart that he was the reason for that sparkle in her eyes, there was a voice in the back of his head that soberly told him this time he was not the centre of attention. For the first time in his life when he had seen such vivacity in a girl's eyes, he was not the source.

James sighed wistfully, admiring the pretty green ribbon in her hair that glimmered in the dim light of the floating lanterns above the Quidditch pitch. He knew it signified something special for she rarely wore it, but as to what was the reason he could only speculate. Though he knew her affections were turned towards Snape and not him, it did not stop him from loving her. If anything her rejection intensified his desire. Over the last week he had found himself avidly looking forward to Sunday evening, not only because in the Vallatus lesson he would flying and learning valuable defensive magic, but also because it offered him a chance to be with Lily – for two blissful hours, it was just him and her and their magic, and not even Snivellus with all his jealousy and hatred could do anything to ruin it…

Or so he thought.

Dumbledore's rumbling voice diffused slowly into his consciousness. James tugged his eyes away from Lily and tried to listen.

"Now that you have mastered casting spells together, we are going to try something a little different tonight," said Dumbledore. "I would like each pair to find another pair to practise with for this session." James' ears perked up. His eyes flicked instinctively to Sirius' and they both grinned.

"As you fly around, you will attempt to perpetrate the other pair's Vallatus – only with mild spells please – Expelliarmus and the Body-Bind Curse and such like. I do not want to face Madam Pompfrey's wrath or the governors' questions if you all end up spending tonight in the Hospital Wing." Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled.

"Remember to use what you have learnt so far – work together as a team, listen to each other and remain focussed. Do not forget that your spells will be doubly strong if you cast them together. This should give you a good taster of what the Vallatus Charm is really capable of. Now, go and have fun!"

He clapped his hands and the students around him began to chatter excitedly and hurry to get into groups with their friends. McGonagall looked less enthusiastic and tried to shout over their conversations to remind them to use what she called civilised spells, and James laughed.

"You'll be joining us right, Prongs?" Sirius said cheerfully, while beside him Remus climbed onto his broom.

"Of course!" James said exuberantly. "I mean, I'd better check that Lily's okay with that…"

At the sound of her name, Lily's eyes swivelled onto his, and his heart lurched.

"You – you don't mind if we duel with Sirius and Remus, do you?" James stuttered.

Lily glanced over at the boys and smiled mischievously. "No, it would be a pleasure."

Sirius gulped and looked to Remus for reassurance that they would escape Lily's notorious hexes unscathed. James howled with laughter.

"This is going to be good…" he muttered to Lily as they both mounted their brooms.

Together they soared up into the sky and assumed their positions not far from Sirius and Remus, who were whispering together heatedly, no doubt plotting a strategic onslaught before they cast their Vallatus Charm. James was not daunted however. His friends' abilities might match his and Lily's, but the strength of their Vallatus Charm had been obvious from the first class, and he had a feeling that their Joint Magic would ensure that they came out on top in the contest.

Lily flew around to face him and James gave her a lopsided grin. "Have you had a good weekend?" he asked conversationally.

Lily beamed at him. "Yes, I have, thank you. What about you?"

James cocked his head to one side. "It's just got better…"

He gave her a suggestive wink and Lily glanced away, turning very red and tucking her hair behind her ear nervously. Merlin, she looked gorgeous when she was flustered… That was half the reason why he never minded making her angry! James chuckled.

"Let's make a start," he said and offered his hand.

After shooting him a bashful glance, Lily put her hand in his and they began the familiar ritual of holding each other's gaze and casting the charm together.

"Vocamus Vallatus!"

There was a brilliant burst of light and tongues of liquid gold leapt out of their wands, curling and elongating as they conjoined and shaped themselves into an expanding sphere. As the shell passed through him to encompass them both, James felt a fierce heat roll through his body as if a wave of steaming water had just passed over him. He flinched in shock, confused as to the vibes he was receiving from his connection with Lily. He felt his already cheerful spirits uplifted to such a dizzying height that it made him breathless. His heart had rocketed unwillingly into the sky and was now orbiting the Earth on god-knows what course! It was thoroughly disorientating. He felt almost as unsteady as if he had been out drinking several large firewhiskies with Sirius!

James grappled with his broom and tried to fix his spinning vision on Lily, feeling very confused. There was an insistent tug, and as he saw her begin to fly over towards Sirius and Remus' purple Vallatus he found himself instinctively following.

Lily? he wondered silently, baffled by the erratic dancing of his heart in tune with hers.

She turned her head and smiled wholeheartedly at him. James felt the excitement and ecstasy spiral even higher, and suddenly insane fervid thoughts that really should not have crossed his mind charged through him – thoughts of kissing Lily to his heart's contentment – and suddenly their conversation about Snape did not matter, her feelings for that ugly Slytherin bore no consequence, not now when they felt this way! All that mattered was this moment where they were united by magic, this moment of complete and wholly shared euphoria - !

And then, as if a one-way switch had been flicked, it all changed.

With a swift strike all mad intentions of embracing Lily in his arms were erased. Instead his mind was filled with other images – images of Snape like he had never seen before, shocking, frightening and repugnant.

James had never supposed it possible for such fragile wariness and poignant fear to dwell in those pitch-black eyes that were always so sharp and piercing – and as he saw them merge into an expression of awe and blissful wonder, his heart shuddered in revulsion. But he could do nothing to allay the gathering dread that Lily's affections were the reason for this change in him, nothing to stop memories of Severus's kissing from pervading his mind, nothing at all to push away those slimy hands or get that greasy hair away from him – or Lily – for he had realised abstractedly that he had been thrown into some of her memories, and he ached with agony as he understood what he was seeing had really happened.

Unable to break his connection with her mind, more images hijacked his vision – nauseating images of Severus pulling Lily into a tender embrace, chilling images of him layering her with kisses, scarring images of him flirting with her, while all the time a sickening concoction of excitement and nerves that did not belong to him was building up in his gut. He heard Lily's whisper as she confessed she would go out with him, and Severus' moans as she sealed her answer with a tender kiss.

He was made to see and feel and hear every nuance of the intimate memories, froced like a prisoner into living through them as if they were his own, while his body screamed for an end to the worst kind of torture – witnessing Lily expressing love and acceptance to his most despised enemy, and watching that suspicious, waspish Slytherin take everything he longed for from the girl he'd loved for so long.

His heart lost its high-flying weightlessness. Like a bird that had all of a sudden lost its wings, James felt it plummeting, leaden, dropping at lightening speed to the ground, crashing with excruciating pain. A horrid sickness thumped him in the stomach and he hunched over, panting for breath. He stared unseeingly at his broom handle, now gleaming with sheets of sweat from his sticky hands, feeling coldly empty and hollow after being strung on such a blazing high.

In an instant he understood everything, and the weight of the truth crushed him ruthlessly. Blinded with horrifyingly real visions, unseated by terrible feelings that he now comprehended, he felt himself loosing his grip on the world, the tremor of the breaking Vallatus, and the broom sliding through his fingers.

JAMES?

He heard Lily's cry in his head, but due to the sputtering connection between them it sounded weirdly distorted. He ignored her shouts. He felt betrayed – utterly disillusioned – lost. He knew he was going to fall but he did not care, he was hurting too much to want anything except for the stabbing pain in his chest to cease…

The shimmering shell of the Vallatus went into spasms and flickered wildly, like a Muggle bulb with a dodgy connection. As James slid off his broom he felt the charm shatter altogether and a horrible emptiness filled the place where his connection with Lily had resided. He felt himself dropping downwards with a distant kind of awareness, but he was almost glad with the knowledge that within seconds when he hit the ground he would black out and Lily's memories of kissing Snape would be gone.

So he was almost angry when someone grabbed hold of his robes and steadied his fall. Half strangled by his robes pulled tight around his neck, he looked up through watery eyes to see Lily hanging onto him, her broom jerking with the extra load put on it. They tumbled unceremoniously to the ground in a tangled heap of robes and limbs, with James' own broomstick dropping onto his head as he lay there groaning.

"James? James! Are you alright?"

He winced and pulled himself out from underneath Lily and the broomsticks, clambering unsteadily to his feet. He staggered around in a circle, reeling more from the visions of Lily and Severus than his fall, despite having never before fallen off a broom in his life.

There were a few worried shouts and the sound of hurrying footsteps.

"What in Merlin's name is going on here?" barked a voice. James blinked and realised McGonagall was rushing over to him and Lily. "What is wrong with Potter?"

James saw Sirius and Remus descending to the ground, yelling at him in concern, but McGonagall turned and shooed them away back to Dumbledore.

"Potter, you don't look at all well," she said shortly, analysing him through her rectangular glasses. "Miss Evans, do you know what happened to him?"

"No, I don't know what's wrong," Lily replied.

Upon hearing her denial, anger and indignation mounted within James, spurred on by his feelings of hurt and injustice. He was sure his face would give him away, but McGonagall's attention was back on the other students and she was muttering worriedly.

"Goodness, I must go and help Mr Longbottom and poor Miss Walker… Miss Evans, make sure Potter has a rest; I will return in a few minutes."

She dashed off and James was left alone with Lily. He turned to face her, struggling to find the words to express how he felt.

"You don't know what happened?" he said slowly, a barely suppressed tremor in his voice.

Lily looked confused as she bent down to pick up her broom. "All I know is that you pulled away and broke the connection between us."

So it was all his fault, was it?

"You put all that – that filth in my head! You were thinking of Snivellus and you forced me to see it all – how you accepted his offer, how you let him kiss you, how he was nearly crying he was so happy to be with you! Have you no idea how awful that made me feel?"

As she heard what had happened from his point of view, Lily looked a little ashamed but not as concerned as he had anticipated. "There's no need to overreact, James. I'm sorry you didn't like my thoughts, but it really was not as bad as you're making it out to be."

"Wasn't it?" James said angrily, his temper rising. "I felt everything you felt, Lily. How would you feel, if you were forced to experience overwhelming emotions of delight and joy for something you've hated and feared for months and years? Tell me how you would feel if the person you'd adored for so long was making you feel their love and attraction for someone else, a person you can't stand an inch, vindictively parading their affections for someone else not just in your face but in your own damned heart?"

"I don't understand…" Lily stammered, "I thought you were okay with me seeing Severus – or was that all a guise?" Hurt and rising anger was now creeping into her voice too.

"I meant every word!" James retorted, furious that Lily thought he would lie. He wasn't a Slytherin, for Merlin's sake! He was doing the decent thing, acknowledging her affections and condoning her close relationship with Snape, how could she believe he had been making it all up? That remark stung.

"Honestly Lily, do you really think so poorly of me?" he said, tearing at his hair. "Is it so impossible to believe that I want you to be happy? I gave you my best wishes for your time with Snape. All I'm asking for is a bit of courtesy in return!"

"I can hardly stop recent events from playing on my mind!" Lily replied. "As I recall, you were equally inept at stopping me from seeing the scenes from the Dreaming Draught which were glued in your mind!"

James flushed. "That was different," he said quietly, "you were the object of those dreams, and you were there right in front of me. How could I not think about them? But here, in these classes, this is our time, Lily. This isn't time for you and Snape. You've got the rest of the week for that. This is time to focus together on the task at hand – to learn how to defend ourselves and fight within Dumbledore's Order. Or has Snape's stupendous kissing altered your priorities so much that you no longer care about fighting You-Know-Who?"

It was Lily's time to blush. "Of course not!" she gasped. "I'd never change sides, you know that!"

"Then if fighting this War means so much to you, you can surely give it your full attention for two hours each week!"

Lily's gaze dropped diffidently to the ground, and James softened his tone. "All I ask is that you concentrate on us while we are within these classes, so that we can excel with the Vallatus Charm. I'm not asking you to go on a date with me."

Lily nodded and spoke with a whisper.

"It's just… it's hard to shut down my heart when my feelings for Severus are so strong…"

Her words were so hurtful that a barrage of nausea jerked at his gut and James felt as if he would be physically sick.

"Oh, give me a moment of mercy!" he groaned, clapping his hands over his ears. Lily was really bleeding him white; she could not have made him worse if she had tried.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

James ogled her in disbelief. Was she really this dense? Or had slimy Snivellus already chilled her usual warmth and sensitivity? He closed his eyes tightly and bowed over, feeling weak.

"I – I don't know if I can go on like this…" he muttered, shaking his head.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked in alarm. She seemed astounded and horrified that he was suggesting that they stop taking the Vallatus classes together – but that was what it came down to in his mind. If he was honest he did not want to stop either – but this threat might provoke Lily into listening to his pleas. She was afraid, he could see it. Inwardly he empathised – they couldn't give up – not now – not when they were showing such promise – not when there was so much they could do…

But there was logistically no way they could keep going when each time they cast the Vallatus Charm he had visions of Lily wrapped in tender embraces with Snape – embraces that he would kill to experience – and when he felt her bounding love for that git bubble up within his own heart against his will, making him want to die out of misery. It wasn't just shocking and wrong – it was cruel.

"I just – I can't keep doing this when every time I see and feel and hear things that are breaking my dreams, Lily! It's damned near killing me!"

Lily reached for his hands. "I'm so sorry!" she insisted. But her touch filled his mind with chaotic visions of those hands caressing Snape's face, and his stomach churned with horror. He pushed her away.

Lily's face turned even more anxious, but it did nothing to comfort him.

"I didn't mean to hurt you like that, I swear!" Lily went on. "I – I'll try to learn Occlumency – so it won't happen again!"

"Then we might as well call these lessons to a halt!" James said angrily. "The Vallatus Charm won't work if you're shunning me from your mind! You know how it works, Lily! We have to be in this together! Mind and body and soul!"

Lily winced. "Well – I'll try a lot harder to control my thoughts, would that help?"

"If you'd had any consideration you would have done that tonight! You knew our minds become connected by the Vallatus Charm!" James snapped.

He never thought he would hear himself speaking to Lily so brusquely, but tonight she had treated him so thoughtlessly. She had hurt him, and hurt him really hard. He wanted her to be happy, yes, but that didn't mean he wanted all his mutilated and dirtied dreams rubbed in his face, either. He didn't think he was asking for much to want her to keep her intimate moments with Snape private. A bit of decency in return for the decency he had shown her was all he wanted. He wasn't asking for the world, for Merlin's sake!

Out of the corner of his eye, James spotted Professor McGonagall striding back over to the two of them. He folded his arms and turned away from Lily.

"How are you both doing?" she asked, looking down at each of them through her glasses. "Potter, are you ready to rejoin the class?"

"Yes we are – "

"Not today," James overrode Lily. "We've had enough for today."

McGonagall's eyes narrowed. "I do hope there is not a problem between the two of you," she said carefully, scrutinising their flushed faces. James didn't care if she realised that they had been arguing or not. It was Lily's fault that their Vallatus Charm had failed, not his.

"No – I – I think we've sorted it out," Lily stuttered, looking nervously between him and McGonagall. James ignored her and instead stared up at Sirius and Remus as they flew across the sky in their purple-veined magical shell, going from strength to strength. Right now he wished he was up there in Remus' place. He envied their effortless success. At this point in time he found it hard to imagine a day when he and Lily would be producing the same magic.

"Well – I am most glad to hear that," McGonagall said slowly.

"So am I," James muttered darkly, glancing over to Lily. McGonagall pursed her lips and marched back to the class, leaving them to it. James hiked up his broom onto his shoulder and began to walk to the exit of the Quidditch Pitch. Lily rushed to keep up with him.

"It will be better next time – I promise – I'll be really careful," she assured him, her voice pleading for him to accept her apology. "We could try again now, I'm sure it'll work…"

"No," James said firmly. He had already gone through too much. He would not be reduced to a broken, sobbing mess in front of Lily as well as Snape, who was no doubt concealed somewhere in the stadium and spying on them again like the sneak he was.

"We're not rushing into this, Lily. Just give me a break. We both have some serious thinking to do before we enter into this again."

It was true. Lily needed to work out her priorities – what was more important, fixating night and day on stupid Snape and her hopeless attempt to convert him, or concentrating on the Vallatus lessons and how they could collaborate in fighting hard against the Death Eaters. It was time that Lily realised that he wasn't just a silly schoolboy messing around and hampering her for a snog. It was time that she saw just how valuable his friendship was, and how much good they could achieve in the world if she could just put Snape aside for a few moments.

xXxXx

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this please let me know :) I love to hear from you.

I have some questions for you – Do you think that Lily did nothing wrong in this chapter? Or do you think that James has a point and that she was being thoughtless and hurtful? And do you think this is the beginning of the end of Lily and James' partnership in the Vallatus class, or do you foresee that they will manage to pull through this challenge? Please tell me if there is anything you would like to see in future chapters, I have some room for manoeuvring if you have some good suggestions! :)

Next time: James mourns over Lily's relationship with Severus, and the Marauders devise an idea for how to make a backhanded attack on the aspiring Death Eaters. Until then – please review! – and if you are looking for something similar to read, try my oneshot 'A Web of Denial and Deceit' :)