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It's the Way that You Are (And the Way I'll Forever Be)
"How's he doing?" Abby questions softly, as to not wake a sleeping Bellamy, pulling a chair beside her daughter. "Better." Clarke confirms in a deepening sigh. "He's been sleeping a lot." She mumbles off not knowing what else to offer.
"Are you spending the night here again?" Her mother inquiries, Clarke could almost hear the disappointment laced in the tone of her voice. A disappointment she knew came from her stubborn nature to leave the hospital, nothing else. "You're just as bad as his sister." Abby shakes her head taking a seat beside her careful to be quiet as to not wake Bellamy before them. "You should go home—sleep in a real bed."
"I'm fine, mom." Clarke denies rather quickly. "That's not what I asked." Abby challenge hoping to instill some sense in her daughter.
"I don't want to go home without him." Clarke shrugs, offering nothing. "Plus I practically live here already, anyway—"
"And that's my point exactly!"
"Mom."
"Fine, fine. I give up." The older Griffin surrenders not wanting to get make a big deal of this. "That's not what I even came here to talk about…" She continues, moving on. "I came to discuss your trip."
Clarke eyes immediately snap to her mothers. In all that chaos for the recent days, she had almost forgotten. "The trip, right." She swallows uneasily not knowing what she wanted to do exactly. She left a week after the wedding for two long months, and with Bellamy recovering, there was no way she was about to leave him. There was no question.
"You're set to leave soon. I wanted to know if that was still your plan."
"Right, uh…" The Blond struggled for a moment attempting to find the best solution at hand. "I-I can't go anywhere right now. Just uh, cancel it. I'll go another time." She states without any further hesitation. Abby nods, understanding, but there's no denying the present frown on her face. She holds her daughters gaze for a moment before glancing Bellamy's way, part of her finally beginning to understand the nature of their complicated relationship.
"Honey, are you sure?"
"Absolutely." Clarke smiles, hoping to offer her mother some sort of reassuring gesture. Her eyes linger to Bellamy's still, sleeping figure there before them. And she's completely content with her decision, knowing she's made the right choice. For once she was happy to stay behind in the crisis.
…
"What you feel like watching?" The hours had flown by and Bellamy had woken up restless and bored. "Doesn't matter, anything really." Clarke shrugs in a heavy yawn.
"They have Celebrities Underwater." Bellamy jokes making the Blond chuckle, remembering all those time Jasper hogged the TV with that show, as she attempted to ease herself back into the uncomfortable chair beside the bed. If she could just adjust her legs in a position where they wouldn't fall asleep, it'd be great.
Bellamy, of course, notices and in a few unregistered moments, manages to scoot over, making room on the bed. "Come'ere." He exhales sharply from a dull ache that rippled through his side as he moved. "Bellamy…" Clarke warns softly. "You shouldn't be moving—I'm fine right here." She adds coolly trying not to look so tense in her place.
"Right." The Blake quickly retorts completely unfazed by her courteous statement. He knew she planned on staying another restless night there and he sure as hell wasn't about to let her spend it in that chair. Not again.
"Oh, Come on. I want to sleep with my girlfriend." He groans in protest, hoping his sudden diction helped change her mind.
"So, I'm your girlfriend, now?" Clarke teases, yet she's caught completely by surprise by his rather bold statement. And although her actions reeked with hesitation, she perched herself on the edge of his bed. "What, am I mistaken?" Bellamy's quick to challenge, smirk paired to that goofy irresistible expression on his face. "Absolutely not." Clarke confirms for she couldn't deny the euphoric smile present on her face. Her heart danced, her stomach soared. "It's just the first time I've heard it out aloud." She smiles sweetly, indicating at the excitement residing in the tone of her voice.
"Yeah, you'd think I'd get some sort of reward…" He hints suggestively, making the Blond shake her head in endearment. "Bellamy Blake, how'd you learn to play me so easily?" She questions with a quick kiss.
"Lay with me…" He whispers in a soft plead. And with a sigh, she ultimately complies, swinging her legs up on the bed before carefully lowering herself there beside him.
"You good?" She mumbles after a moment fighting the exhaustion in her bones.
"Perfect." He exhales with utter satisfaction. And Clarke has to agree. She hadn't felt so safe and secure in a long time she nearly melted at his touch. "Alright, now the questions begs… what to watch…" Bellamy continues filling through the numerous Netflix titles before them. "I don't know about you, but I have been eyeballing this history section here…" Yet when he finally looks down her tucked figure there beside him, eyes's closed, lips parted in wavering sleep, he smiles in satisfaction for his plan had worked.
"Documentary it is then."
…
"Rise and shine everybody!" Octavia's booming voice suddenly overpowers the room, waking both Clarke and Bellamy in an annoyed gruff.
"O… it's early…." The blond groans, shifting in her place beside Bellamy. The Blake brother simply attempts to ignore his sister, but he's no match for her. "We have lots to do today—the wedding is in ten days. We're in the home stretch baby!" She exclaims ushering the Blond out of the bed.
"Octavia," Clarke stretches her bones in an exhausting yawn. "We have time… relax—"
"No we don't—In fact, you are meeting with the florist on third street in thirty minutes to confirm the order—now I've already emailed you the details so you know what to look for." The Blake sister went on quickly before Clarke could even try to protest, chipper smile present on her face.
"I have final fitting at noon today and you're coming with me—don't worry Bell, Miller's gonna swing by while we're out so you're not alone…."
"Right now, I wish I was." He mumbles jokingly. The Blond shoots him a playful glare but is quick to peck his lip a good morning before he eases himself back into the bed, resting his eyes for a second. "No, no no! We've slept! It's ten am—now, I came here in the morning and have waited too long. It is day—we are awake during the day!" Octavia declares snapping Bellamy out of his trance. And Clarke can't help but shake her head watching her disruptive nature overpower the small of the room in one swift statement. For a small person, Octavia had a loud personality and an even louder voice.
"I'm gonna go steal some coffee from the nurses station." The Blond offers before Octavia had the chance to cut her off again. "You guys need anything? Water—breakfast? And when they decline she makes her way out of the ICU and down the hall to where she knew the nurses hid the good stuff. According to the Blake sister, they had a long day ahead of them and she would be crazy not to start it without coffee.
"Hey—what do you think you're doing?" The familiar sound of Finn's voice echoes across the hallway, making his way towards her. She was pouring coffee in a cup quickly, and although she knew they wouldn't mind because they knew her, she was trying not to get caught by any nurses out of courtesy.
"Shh!" She scolds playfully, pressing the lid on with a tight-lipped smile.
"Couldn't help yourself, uh?" He's quick to accuse in a teasing matter. And Clarke couldn't help but like the way things had shifted between in the recent turn of events. Everything is was so uncomplicated—friendly even. Just the way they needed to be.
"Guilty."
"I'm just on my way to check up on Bellamy." Collin's explains as they walk back down the hall. "How're you holding up?" He asks, eyes tentatively watching every movement in her face.
The Blond shrugs. "Actually," She takes a moment to really dwell on his question. "I'm fine." For once he believes her.
Finn nods. "And Bellamy?"
"You're the doctor. I was hoping you'd tell me—"
"Come on, Clarke. You don't have to do that with me. I'm not your mother."
"He's good, stable. Still running a fever and his post-op vitals are a little low but that's not really abnormal especially after what he's been through…" She trails on having the information available at the tip of her tongue. The cup of coffee wrapped around her hand offering a delighted warming reassurance.
"Any underlining concerns to run by?"
She shakes her head a no. Confident in the answer for she's silently stressed and obsessed over it since the moment he woke up. "Okay. Well you know as well as you've stated, the fever is normal and most likley due to common ISS. And low blood pressure could be an effect from hypovolemic shock." Clarke nods, for it's already ran through her mind a million times. Still, it was nice to actually hear it from someone other than the consuming voice in her head. She just wasn't used to seeing Bellamy in that ailing state, it was a strange sight, one she knew she'd never get used to.
"Morning guys." Dr. Collin's greets as they pave they're way into the room. Octavia's busy adjusting Bellamy's pillows as he just sits there a little miserable for all he wanted to do was sleep.
"How we doing today?"
"Would be much better if Dr. Griffin here was my doctor." Bellamy jokes trying to lighten the mood around them. "Trust me, a lot of people feel the same." Finn joins in trying to make the situation less awkward than it deemed.
Collins ran his eyes over Bellamy's chart attempting to get a better picture of what was going on exactly, Clarke peering right behind his shoulder. "Well, your blood pressure's still too low for my liking and the fever's still persistent…" Finn mumbles not wanting to leave him in the dark.
"Any pain?"
Bellamy shakes his head.
"Alright—well, I'm gonna get you on some stronger antibiotics see if that'll help, and we'll keep an eye on that LBP. In the meantime, you're in very capable hands," He gestures to Clarke behind him. "so there's nothing to worry about."
Bellamy nods as Dr. Collin's finishes up. "I'll be back later."
"Clarke you're meeting the florist in twenty minutes!" Octave warns the moment Finn exits, taking a seat on the chair before her, feet resting on the edge of the bed. The Blond shares an amused glance between Bellamy before turning to his sister who looked way too comfortable sitting there. "Twenty minutes?"
"Oh, don't worry. He's a block down on third street—you have time."
"And tell me again why you aren't going instead?" Clarke questions intrigued. "This seems like a very important detail, O. You wouldn't want me to mess it up." She hints, attempting to somehow get out of it. But the expression on Octavia's face is set and there's no doubt she wasn't going to get up from her spot. Clarke grabs her bag and coat, slipping it on.
"Let me enlighten you with this little detail—I spent half of my night over a toilet bowl." She grinned sheepishly eyes searching for the remote. "Then I finally got a peaceful morning to myself, and if I go down there, smelling all those flowers—who know's how my nose is gonna handle it?" She tries to justify but Clarke can see right through her.
Bellamy watches the both interact in simple amusement, fighting the sleep in his eyes. "Plus, it's my turn with Bellamy since you all banished me from spending the night here…" She mumbles throwing the guilt around without any hesitation.
"Alright. Alright, enough excuses. I'll be back soon." Clarke chuckles exiting with a wave goodbye.
…
"The nurse said you wanted to talk to me, alone?" Abby questions curiously entering the room with a curt knock. Bellamy nods, attempting to rid the exhaustion from his eyes and look alert, but the truth was he wasn't feeling too good at the moment. With Clarke still on her little errand for his sister and Octavia down to the cafeteria, Bellamy finally found an opportunity to talk to Abby—one he didn't hesitate to take.
"Don't cancel the trip." He exhales skipping any pleasantries. His sister would be there any minute, he had to make every word count.
Abby shoots him a questionable look, surprising her. When she had gotten word from the nurse he wanted to speak with her she thought I would be on the lines of another topic. "I heard you and Clarke talking last night." He further explains, slowly adjusting his position. "Don't cancel the trip."
"Bellamy, this…" Abby's quick to shake her head but doesn't know how to finish that sentence. There weren't a lot of things she knew about Bellamy other than he was a detective who worked under Kane, and loved her daughter, but in that moment as he met her with pleading, desperate eyes, she felt as if he was an old friend.
"All she talked about these last few weeks is that trip, getting out of town, going on an adventure…" Bellamy trailed on to the best of his ability. There was such urgency in the tone of his voice, one Abby couldn't ignore. "She needs this and I can't have what happened with me get in the way of that. You have to convince her somehow." He pleads not knowing how else to get her on board.
"If you think she's gonna listen to me you have another thing coming…" The older Griffin shakes her head, amused yet completely taken by surprise in his actions. "I want her to go as much as you, believe me," She offers knowing very well the stubbornness her daughter attained. "but the only person who can convince her is you."
In the end, it's a simple solution, one Bellamy knew he was eventually going to come to, but one he needed help to get to.
He nods confidently coming to terms with her answer, quickly formulating a plan in his mind. "Okay. Just don't cancel it yet."
"I won't," Abby promises.
"Thank you."
And the older Griffin lingers there for a moment, wanting to spill a million grateful words to him for she understood the position Clarke was being forced far too clearly. Having to choose between her career and love does something to a person. Struggling on the fine-line between yourself and others was a difficult thing to do, especially a person you'd give your life for. Abby's whole life seemed to revolve and come back to that choice. Career or love? Job for family? In the end, she choose work, she choose to have a career because she thought she could do it all and have it all. However, reality is far different than she thought it too be. And she found herself on a dark unrecognizable path she couldn't defer from, and there was no way in hell she wanted that for her daughter.
"No," She meets his eyes with a soft smile. "Thank you."
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