Terrible cold dread dripped down my spine at the sound of that voice. Berwald stood frozen in shock next to me; we had come so far so why did Ludwig have to appear at this moment? Ludwig said something else in that rough Orushian language and the officer from before answered, the respect he held for the other man obvious in his voice.
I didn't dare to move, we had our backs to them and thus far he hadn't noticed us, but if we were to move he most certainly would, and then he would blow our cover and we would be killed. But standing like this, not seeing what was going on but only hearing, not knowing if or when he would be looking over and spot us or if he had already seen us and was just lulling us into the feeling of false security while preparing to strike at any second now.
Berwald threw a look back.
Another wave of terror surged through me, now we would be detected most certainly and then everything we had achieved would be for nothing. But nothing happened, Berwalds action went completely unnoticed.
Francis had by now noticed that we weren't following, his head poked out from the palace gates and he was frantically waving for us to get going. Most soldiers had poured into the palace by now; the last ones were throwing us confused glances as we just stood there seemingly frozen in place with an inexplicable horrified expression on our faces.
We had been lucky until now that Ludwig was too absorbed into his conversation with the officer to notice us, but if we stood around any longer, our luck would wear out. It was the hardest thing I ever did, taking a step forward, moving, and feeling like I exposed myself to the eyes of my predator like the mouse to the snake. And still I didn't dare to look back, because no matter how small, the fact that Ludwig could only face our uniform clad backs with rain water masking our natural hair color was still protecting us.
Berwald, who had dared to look back, was walking beside me, placing one foot before the other and despite the pain he was in and despite the imminent danger he still radiated some sort of confidence, and if Berwald could do it, so could I.
I stepped into the doorway, the shadow of the open doors shielding me from sight as I finally looked back to see what was behind me.
And there he was, tall, muscular, uniform as pristine as possible in this messy weather, talking to the officer, hands tucked behind his back and posture as straight as a line. His side was facing us and he didn't once bother to look away from his dialogue partner. The royal advisor stood next to him, flanked by his two guards, eagerly trying to please the other two, but being mostly ignored.
"What was that all about?" Francis asked, voice barely audible against the pattering rain, as I turned around to step into the palace courtyard, feeling relief flood through me, and I wasn't paying attention to where I was putting my feet as I whispered back. "I'll tell you later."It was then that everything started to go wrong.
My foot caught on something and I stumbled, foot twisting and I had to almost yelped in surprise but I managed to bite it back, but in my frantic attempt to not lose my footing I grabbed the doorwing to my left and the hinges gave of a protesting screech, that cut through the patter of rain like a knife through butter, as they were bent into a direction they were not intended to.
It would have been nothing, the soldiers around us would have simply shaken their heads over my clumsiness and would have continued with their business as if nothing had happened, maybe cracking some jokes but certainly not suspecting anything.
If it hadn't been for Ludwig.
I had regained my balance, but was still clinging to the door, when Ludwig's head snapped back and he spotted the tall figure of Berwald who was just stepping through the gates, ready to lend me a hand, should I need onw. Anyone else wouldn't have made the connection, it was too dark and too wet with rain to make out features clearly, but this was Ludwig and he had spent more than enough time with looking at us and taking in every little detail to recognize us, even in circumstances like these
And then a shout ripped away the fragile peace of the night. I didn't understand a word, but I easily could decipher the alarm in it and the frantic action that ensued spoke clearly for itself.
The courtyard was empty by then, the soldiers that went in before us had disappeared into the building so the only threat came from behind us. Francis was still confused, taking a step back as Berwald drew his sword, pushing me into the courtyard yelling for us to run, and then for a brief moment his hand was in mine, pressing something soft and wet against my palm, before he let go and blocked the threshold with his broad form.
Things were happening too fast, the soldiers outside had pulled out there weapons and were closing in on Berwald who kept them at a distance with his sword, but the wound on his chest was draining his strength, he wasn't striking as vigorously as he had when he fought the soldier back at the mansion.
"RUN." He bellowed again, barely dodging an axe that was aimed for his head. But I couldn't just leave him behind, could I?
Francis was yanking my arm, trying to pull me with him into the questionable safety of the palace where people didn't know yet that we were not Orushians and finally I turned, tearing my eyes from Berwalds back and started running, the rain falling down relentlessly, playing a sick chorus to the clattering of sword against sword.
My heart was beating painfully against my chest, as we ran through the courtyard into the palace, through corridors and past startled soldiers who shot us confused glances before returning through their looting and plundering. I clutched my hand around the small object, feeling that I very well knew what it was, and at the same time wishing that I was wrong, because if I were right that meant that Berwald was prepared to die out there.
And it was my fault.
He's going to die.
It's my fault.
Those two thoughts circled through my head, endlessly dancing around each other, swelling and ebbing like the sea, relentless until they would have driven me mad. My eyes were wide open and staring but there was nothing to see, only emptiness and never ending guilt. And there was the face of Berwald and the last look I saw on him, a pained expression of determination and despair as he shoved me back, and his face melted into Mathias' as I had last seen him, and I couldn't stand the look of certain death on my lover's face so I was glad when it transformed back into Berwalds, but then guilt washed over me anew until Mathias was once again looking at me. And in the end I couldn't tell apart anymore who the one safe was and who was the one who was going to die.
He's going to die.
It's my fault.
I didn't remember what happened there in the palace corridors or how we finally got into that one dusty room full of cloth covered furniture and old bleached paintings on the wall. Francis must have dragged me along, shouting at me to get myself together but getting no reaction aside from the empty stare of my eyes.
How could I ever face Tino again and tell him that his lover was dead because of me?
This was not how it was supposed to be.
There were voices outside and the sound of rushed footsteps, but I didn't care. I was sitting on a chair on the dusty white cloth that covered the furniture; my hand was gripped around the small object Berwald had given me, while Francis was searching the room.
Francis crouched down before me, getting on eye level with me, but I looked down to my feet, the dust on the floor around them was filled with more footprints than we could have produced in the short time we had been here, the air was full of dust, there was dust in my eyes; why else would they be stinging so much… Small pools of water were surrounding my feet and the cloth I was sitting on was soaked wet, my hair was dripping water down my neck, but I didn't make an effort to dry myself off.
"Lukas, look at me." Francis said softly, tilting my chin up with his hand his hair was a complete mess; there was dirt on his face and dark rings under his eyes, yet he still found the strength to keep going. I felt guilty.
"We have to get out of here. I know it's hard but you have to get yourself together. You want to see Mathias again, don't you?"
There it was again the picture in my head, Berwald with Mathias face, shouting for me to run, while he stood there sword in hand and fought to cover our escape, and the terrible knowledge of the hopelessness of his situation edged into his features. I didn't want this to be the last image of him I remembered.
I blinked a few times, stuffing the object into my pocket, I didn't need to look at it to know what it was, and I had known it the whole time. I would give it to Tino once we found the others, along with a plea for forgiveness.
"There, that's better." Francis managed to smile as I got up, dusting myself of only to cause more dust flakes to pollute the air and forcing me to sneeze a few times. I tried to stifle them as much as possible, in fear of alerting the soldiers to our position. By now they must have broken through and informed the rest of the troops about our identity. I tried not to think about what that meant for Berwald.
"What about the secret passage?" I asked, my mouth was dry and I could taste dust on my lips as I spoke. "I'm not sure, but taking into account the underground route the entrance has to be here somewhere. It could be in the basement though. Then we'd have a problem. But," He made a gesture to take in the room and once again I noticed the many footprints of different sizes around us that seemed to gather in front of the wall across the door. "it seems like we are in the right place." The shouts from outside the room grew louder and I could hear doors slamming close by, they were closing in.
"This is it then." Francis said with a smile that was supposed to convey confidence but he couldn't quite hide the fear in his eyes. "The entrance has to be here, we just have to find it, if we fail we die." He said and the smile vanished, as he turned around to continue his search by tapping his foot against the floor in front of the wall, in search for a trap door. I stepped over and knocked lightly against the wooden panels that lined the wall, listening for any hint of a hollow room behind them.
There was not much time to be thorough and we couldn't be too loud at the same time, and the more time went without finding something the more panicked I became. My heart was beating fast and I was sweating, if we didn't find it now, everything would have been in vain.
I was so frantic and rushed that at first I didn't notice the hollow sound to my knocks, only when Francis suddenly was beside me and yanked me from the spot did I realize that finally I had found something. Francis pushed against the panels, tried to dig his fingers underneath and pulled, but nothing worked, the wall was as unyielding as ever.
"There has to be a lever somewhere." Francis groaned while he was searching the panel high and low for anything to hook his fingers too. I went back beside him to help searching, spreading my arms as much as possible to cover as much wall as possible, and then my thumb caught onto something, a small irregularity at the top where the wooden panel ended. It was small; nothing more than a tiny wooden hook sticking out of the wall but when I pulled it a part of the panel slid to the side and revealed a dark opening.
There was no time to loose, people were passing in front of the door to the room, and it was only a question of time until they would look inside so Francis got on his knees and crawled inside and I quickly followed, searching around until I found another lever, bigger this time and easier to spot to activate the mechanism of the door that left us in complete darkness.
Not a moment too early, through the wood that separated us from the other room we could hear the door slam open and hasty footsteps enter the room, and with sudden dread did I realize that the dust covered floor would give away the approximate position of the entrance, just as they had done for us, I could just hope that they would take a long time until they figured out the mechanism, but if our success was any indication, we didn't have much time left.
The space was dark and cramped and I continuously bumped into Francis before me as we tried to crawls through what appeared to be long corridor. It was too dark to see the hand before our eyes, and so we had to rely entirely on our sense of touch to find our way around. After a while we got on our feet, following the cold stone wall and hoping that there wouldn't be any forks or branches ahead, but according to Francis the corridor didn't have any side arms, and I could just hope that he remembered correctly.
It was unnerving to walk through the darkness, it was cold in there, colder than it had been outside and our clothes were still wet, not dripping anymore, but still wet enough to cling uncomfortably to our skin. I had to grit my teeth to keep them from chattering and my fingers had gone numb sometime earlier. I couldn't feel my feet either and I stumbled more than once while my foot got caught on a small rock or unevenness that I didn't feel. Francis didn't fare any better, as far as I could hear him.
We didn't make any attempt at talking; we were too concentrated on putting one foot before the other and not losing balance in the process. I scraped my fingers more than once on the rough stony wall, but I didn't feel pain and so I kept going, step after step, mind drifting while trying not to think about who we had left behind. I kept focusing on Mathias face, on how he was looking at me when he told me he loved me, the expression he carried when he slid into me and that stupid ridiculous grin on his that always seemed to split his face in half.
I didn't notice at first the tears that were flowing down my cheeks and dripping on the cold indifferent floor. We had gone through so much together only to be separated by a mean streak of fate, and I had given up hope temporarily that I ever would see him again, but now we had a true chance of getting out of the city, and maybe we already were past the city limits and then we just had to find them, they surely had gotten away too, they had to, because I couldn't stand to lose someone else.
And then I would see Mathias again, and Emil, Emil who I should have protected but failed so miserably, and Tino, oh god Tino who I had to face and tell that Berwald was not going to come, never and who would be heartbroken and there was nothing I could do.
And still I kept going, the dark surrounding us, with no way of knowing how long we had been going already, of how long there was to go until the exit and how close our pursuers were behind us, or even if there were any pursuers at all or if they had just decided that it was not worth the trouble.
The air was cold and stinging in my lungs but I couldn't shake the feeling that it grew harder to breathe every passing minute. How deep below the ground were we anyway? It had felt as if we had went downwards at first, but I wasn't sure if we were going up or down or straight or left or right, I only knew that we were going forward.
What if the corridor wasn't made for two people and at one point there wouldn't be enough air left for both of us? Would we just suffocate silently in the darkness without anyone ever knowing where we were? Was suffocating painful? My lungs were stinging and as deep as I breathed it never felt as if it were enough. I stumbled again, hitting my foot on something, but I felt only numbness. I tried to flex my fingers but I couldn't tell if they were moving at all, I didn't know where my fingers ended and where the wall began.
I didn't want to die here, not like that, forgotten in the dark, eaten by the rats that surely had to live here somewhere.
And then after an eternity, there was light. It was only a little at first, barely noticeable and only when Francis shape before me peeled out of the darkness did I realize that there was light ahead. The air was also warmer and fresher now, making breathing a lot easier.
We had made it to the exit.
...
