Title: Of Allies or Enemies
Author: Flea
Date: 24.7.07
Part: 28/28
Rating: M

Pairing: J/T
Characters: John, Teyla, and many others
Genre: Romance / Suspense /Angst /Action its got some of everything
Word Count: 7325
Archiving: Fever and Fanfiction Net
Warnings- angst, swearing, sexual content
Spoilers: slight ones through out all of season 3, many from the episode which Kolya appears in.

Disclaimers: No copyright infringement is intended. All characters belong to MGM I'm only borrowing them for my own personal enjoyment.

Summary: After years of planning, many disappointments and many failures … At last he has finally succeeded. Acastus Kolya is now the leader of the Genii people and is in full control. What does this mean for Atlantis and how does John take the news?

Author's note – I'd just like to said a BIG thank you to everyone who has read my story so far and an even BIGGER thank you to all of those who have reviewed.

Epilogue – 2 Months Later

"It's just remarkable!"

"I told you …" John smiled at the Carson from the infirmary bed which he had been sitting on for the last half an hour as the Doctor checked his results.

It had been 2 months since Kolya's bullet had ripped through his inside bring him close to death; a little too close for his liking.

"I mean it's just bloody remarkable!"

"So what do you think Doc … " John started as he hopped of the bed and walked over to the good doctor who was still looking slightly shocked at the charts he held before him. "Am I ready for active duty?"

"You're recovering quickly lad but that doesn't mean I'm going to rush into anything … no matter how good this results are."

"Ah coming on Carson look at me?" John whined turning on the spot to emphasise his point "I'm fine!"

"2 months ago you nearly died" Carson exclaimed "You gave us all a pretty big fright"

"Carson come on I'm …"

"I don't care how 'fine' you say you are Colonel" Carson interrupted turning his back and walking into his office John close behind him. "Your body's been through an awful lot, I'm not risking sending you back to work until I'm happy everything is back to normal"

"Everything is back to normal"

"Sorry Lad"

"Carson I'm going to go crazy if I sit around any longer …" John watched as Carson sat down at his desk paying no attention to him. "What about some sparring ... I'll tell Ronan to goes easy."

"I've seen Ronan's version of easy!" Carson exclaimed turning once again to face John.

"Please!!"

"Your worst than a child do you know that!"

"Is that a yes?"

Carson looked at the fully grown Lt. Colonel that stood before him whining like a 5 year old.

"Carson …"

"Fine …" Carson cried giving in. "How the bloody hell did you make Colonel?"

"Beats me!" John called back over his shoulder as he made his way out of the doctor's office.

"Make sure Ronan goes extra easy." John heard Carson shout as he quickly grabbed his jacket making his way for the door.

Elizabeth rounded the corner to the infirmary and opened the door just as John was heading out.

"John …" slightly shocked at his sudden appearance. "Is everything ok?" She asked as John moved back slightly allowing her to fully enter the infirmary.

"Couldn't be better!" flashing her one of his smiles.

"Elizabeth" Carson called as he joined the two. "I didn't expect to see you."

Elizabeth smiled at Carson before explaining that she just wanted to pop down and see how John was doing. From the corner of her eye she could see the man in question fiddling with his jacket obviously not wanting to hang around.

"Amazing really, I don't think I've ever seen someone go through what he did and recover so quickly."

"That wonderful"

"That's what I said!" John joked and Elizabeth was happy to see he'd regain his sense of humour.

"Do you remember any of it John."

"A little blurry … Remember Kolya with a gun; waking up a few times. I remember McKay complaining about something or other but that's about it."

"You were pretty out of it for a few weeks, only waking up for a few minutes her and there."

Elizabeth watched as John just shrugged his shoulders surprised it didn't bother him more.

"You don't remember getting to the infirmary or the first time you woke up?" She asked

"Not unless that was the time when McKay was complaining. Why? Should I? Did I say something embarrassing?

"No" Elizabeth said a little too quickly receiving an odd look from John. "It's nothing to worry about … really." Thinking quickly trying to change the subject asked the first question that popped into her head. "So how's Teyla doing?"

The reaction in John was almost instantaneous. His eyes dropped to the floor and the fiddling started up again.

"Carson says she's fine … doing really well. If you'd excuse me." and before Elizabeth could stop him John was off.

"Was it something I said" Elizabeth asked as herself and Carson watched John quickly disappear through the infirmary door.

"Probably off to the gym to find Ronan. His been whining at me all week about getting back to work; I told him a little bit of sparring would be ok." Carson informed her.

"You mean you gave into him?" She asked a slightly amused look flashing across her face.

"He's like a 5 year old!!" Carson cried out which gained him the attention of everyone in the infirmary. "I'd have agreed to almost anything to get some bloody peace! There's only so many times I can send him to go and annoy Rodney!"

Elizabeth couldn't help but smile at Carson's comments. That was the reason she'd had a very angry Rodney McKay in her office this morning complaining about almost everything under the sun; John Sheppard's name coming up quite a few times during those 2 hours.

"Which reminds me …" Carson spoke quickly pulling Elizabeth back from her thoughts.

"Ronan …" Elizabeth watched as Carson gently touched his ear piece speaking into his radio.

"Yeah Doc?"

"John's most likely on his way down to you, I told him he could do a little sparring …"

"Gave in" Elizabeth whisper which earned her a death glare from Carson.

"Just make sure you go easy on him will you."

"Will do"

"And I mean extra easy."

"I'll do my best!" came Ronan's reply before the radio went dead.

Elizabeth couldn't help but smile as she followed Carson over to his office, not being able to hear what he was mumbled as they went.

Teyla and John were healing; Kolya was no longer a threat to them; Carson, Ronan and Rodney were back to their usual selves. Life on Atlantis was slowly returning back to normal.

Elizabeth's mind flashed back to a few moments ago and the smile on her face slowly disappeared.

"How's Teyla?" She asked again.

"She's healing nicely. You've not seen her?"

"Not for the last few days." Elizabeth felt guilty but the last week or two she'd been swamp with work and hadn't had time to see anybody. "She seemed a little distant the last time we spoke."

"She's been through an awful lot Elizabeth just give her little time."

"You think that's all it is?" She asked her voice very serious.

"No … but it's none of our business. We all agreed we wouldn't get involved … it's up to them two to sort things out.

"I know … I know!" frustrated that she couldn't do anything to help her friends. The last two month the relationship between John and Teyla had gone from something to nothing, and the whole city had noticed.

Elizabeth could remember watching Teyla sit by John's side for days, making sure he was alright. Even though she was hurting herself she refused to move.

The words he spoke that first morning will remain with her forever.

"He doesn't remember does he?" She asked sadness sounding in her voice as Carson moved a little closer.

"No he doesn't"

John could hear the sounds of two people sparring before he even reached the gym knowing instantly who they would be. A passing thought suggested leaving and coming back later but John had be doing nothing for weeks and seriously needed to release some tension.

John had seen the look on Elizabeth face at his reaction to her question about Teyla. Its true he hadn't spoken to her for a while but he'd check with Carson everyday on how she was doing.

He hadn't really spoken to Teyla (not properly spoken) since he woke up a little over a month ago; and for now John wanted nothing more than to keep it that way.

What had Elizabeth meant by 'you don't remember the first time you woke up'. The look of shock which had crossed her face had confused him, had he done something he should remember?

Just as John neared the gym doors he heard the people inside stop, the sound of their bantos sticks silencing only to be replaced by Ronans voice, John couldn't hear what he was saying but guess it was someone over the radio as his partner hadn't said a word.

Opening the doors John could see he was correct, Ronan words only just reaching his ears as the gym doors slid shut behind him.

"I'll do my best" Ronan finished turning off his radio before turning to face John "Sheppard" Ronan nodded in greeting suddenly turning when his realised his sparring partner had disappeared.

John looked pass Ronan and could see that Teyla was already packing her bag preparing to make a quick exit.

"Everything ok?" he heard Ronan ask as Teyla zipped up her bag swing in up on to her should before turning to face them both.

"I just remember I have some business which needs attending too" John knew she was lying but questioning her reasons would lead to a conversation and for some reason John just wasn't ready.

"Look you don't have to leave because of me …" he told her lamely knowing that Teyla would still leave. The tension which was building in the room was beginning to make John uncomfortable and a part of him was happy that Teyla would soon be going.

"I assure you colonel that is not the case." And with out another word Teyla moved passed him disappearing through the door.

John watched as she went relief and regret filling his body simultaneously.

Teyla quickly walked down the corridor ignoring everyone that passed her, all she wanted to do was get away. Her breathing was raged and she could feel her heart pounding in her chest.

Entering the transport Teyla closed the door behind her and lend up against the walk taking a deep breath as she tried to calm herself.

As soon as Carson had radio to inform them that John was on his way, Teyla could think of nothing else apart from getting out of there before he arrive; John had gotten there quicker than she expected.

Things between them had been tense lately and Teyla hated it. They hadn't spoken properly in weeks and she had notice that John seemed to go out of his way not to be alone with her.

It hurt! Teyla was going to deny the fact but she hadn't been prepared for how much pain she would actually feel. Her heart was broken and just seeing John or hearing his name filled her with sadness.

"Teyla this is Carson." She heard the doctor's voice over her radio.

"Yes Carson." She answered trying to calm herself a little more. She hated the fact that John could make her feel so out of control and lost.

"Would it be possible to bring your appointment this afternoon forward a little? Say about now?"

Teyla turned to the controls and gently touched the area of the map which would lead to the infirmary, at least that would keep her mind occupied for a while; stopping all thoughts of John Sheppard.

"I'm on my way Carson."

"So you want to tell me what's going on between you and Teyla?" Ronan asked as he circled around the gym, waiting for John to attack.

"What do you mean what's going on between me and Teyla?"

Ronan easily blocked John's attack as he remembered the last time John had told him that.

"You've both seemed a little off lately" A little was defiantly an understatement.

"What makes you say that?"

Ronan stepped forward launching an attack of his own, John managed to block it easily just as he thought the Colonel would.

"Little hard to miss."

"Well my dear everything seems to have cleared up nicely and I see no probably with going back on active duty." Carson informed Teyla as he walked over towards the bed which she was sitting on.

"Are you sure?" Teyla asked not as happy as she should have been by the news.

"The lacerations on your back are completely healed. Your wrist is fine and blood work is all clear. Everything's back to normal." She watched as one of the biggest smile she could imagine spread across Carson face.

"That wonderful Carson."

"Yet you don't seem to be happy?"

Teyla looked up at the good doctor the smile from a second ago replaced with a look of confusion and worry.

"I am very happy; it has just been a long 2 months." Teyla tried to manage a reassuring smile but if she couldn't convince herself there was no way Carson was going to believe her.

"Is it something I can help with?"

"Carson there is nothing wrong please stop worrying about me."

"Alright lass, why don't you head down to the mess hall grab yourself some lunch …"

"I'm not really …" Teyla tried to interrupt but Carson was having none of it.

"You need to eat!" he told her firmly and Teyla knew it was hopeless to argue. "I'll inform Elizabeth of your progress and let her know your ready to go back on duty."

"Thank you Carson."

"There's no need to thank me."

Teyla pushed herself off the bed taking a step closer towards Carson before engulfing him in a big hug.

"Thank you." She repeated before picking up her jacket and heading towards the infirmary doors.

"Give him a little more time lass … things will sort themselves out" Carson called out just as she was leaving. He thought he saw a small smile grace her lips but she was gone before he could be sure.

"So what changed?"

"What do you mean what's changed? Nothings changed!" John defended himself as once again he blocked one of Ronan's attacks.

He could feel the fatigue already building in his body; his legs and arms ached but he refused to give in so soon. Maybe Carson had been right – best not to rush into anything.

"When was the last time you spoke to her?"

John managed to block another attack from Ronan knowing that the Satedan was taking it easy on him; very easy.

"Do you even know how she's doing?"

"Course I do!" John replied a little too quickly, the truth was John couldn't remember the last time he spoke to Teyla. "Carson said she healing brilliantly, should be back on active duty in no time."

"Carson said?"

"Don't look at me like that! Ok so things have a little tense between us lately."

"A little?"

"OK" John exclaimed loudly "a lot! But everything is fine just give it a little time and everything will be back to normal" now if only John could make himself believe that.

"Cut the crap Sheppard! What's going on?"

John stopped dropping his arms to his side as he took a deep breath, sensing the end to their sparing season Ronan followed walking over to the window ledge to grab his bottle of water.

"Everything happened so quickly …" John started remember back to the night him and Teyla had sent together. "One minute we were arguing the next we were kissing. Before I knew it we were …" John let out a nervous chuckle as he walked passed Ronan grabbing his own bottle of water before sitting down on the ledge. "You know."

"You sent the night together." Ronan finished as he took a seat next to John

"Before we have chance to discuss anything the city exploded and you can running in!"

"So talk to her now!"

"It's not that easy" John stated as he stretched his arms over his head trying to relieve some of the aching which had begun in his shoulders.

"Sure it is!"

"How? How can I just act like nothing happened? Kolya target Teyla because of me … it's my fault he did those things to her."

Ronan watched as his friend continued to stare at the floor beneath his feet. His shoulders were tensed and Ronan believed it was more from the stress of these last 2 months than from there short sparring session.

Physically John had healed remarkably quickly but emotionally his was still a mess; him and Teyla were.

He could remember back to that first morning after the shooting; after a night of believing he was lost forever. Ronan could remember Carson call over the radio informing him John was awake, he remembered how his legs ached from sprinting from his quarters all the way to the infirmary; knocking Rodney flying as they both arrived at the same time.

To him the events of that day were so clearly etched in his mind it was like they had happened only yesterday, not 2 months ago.

He and Rodney had entered the infirmary to find Elizabeth and Lorne taking quietly to Carson while Teyla sat by John's side his hand in hers.

His eyes were barely opened and Ronan would have guessed he was still unconscious if it wasn't for the slight movement of his lips. His skin was so pale that Ronan had to do a second check just to make sure he was looking at John Sheppard; he look worst them when they had seen him a few hours ago.

John was only awake for 10 minutes before he slipped out of consciousness again. His words still ringing in his head; words which he had prayed never came true, luckily they hadn't

"Do you love her?" Ronan asked already knowing the answer but he needed to hear John say it again.

"Yeah"

"Have you told her" he had to ask, had to see if he remembered.

"No."

"Don't you think you should?"

The floor below John feet had suddenly become very interesting again. He knew Ronan had a point; he loved Teyla so why didn't he tell her.

"John …"

"Are you hungry?" Changing the subject John quickly stood picking up his stuff before turning to face Ronan. "I'm staved! Why don't we head down to the mess hall grab a bit to eat?"

Ronan let out a frustrated sigh as he watched John leave the gym, grabbing this things he followed suit. One way or another he was going to get John to talk; he couldn't hold everything in for ever!

Teyla flattened herself up against the wall of the corridor as she saw Ronan and John head towards the mess hall doors; slowly inching her body in the opposite direction hoping that neither of them saw her.

She had been so sure that he felt something for her; something more than just friendship. After the night they spent together and the word h spoke that first morning after the shooting, how could she not.

But with everyday that passed the nagging thoughts in her head would grow. Maybe that night hadn't meant anything to him? Maybe he only said those things because he believed he was about to die. Maybe the feelings she had towards John were completely one sided.

They needed to talk and sort everything out but with everyday that John avoided her Teyla could feel her confidence fading. Maybe she should just pretend nothing had happened; it seemed to be working for John.

Teyla looked around the corner seeing that Ronan and John were no where to be seen, most likely already in the mess hall grabbing some food. The hunger she had felt only moments before subsided as she thought ahead to how awkward sitting at a table with John would be.

Turning Teyla started walking away from the mess hall heading for the transport which could take her too her quarters. Yes she needed to talk to John but now wasn't the time.

"OK … ok! I'll admit I have been avoiding Teyla lately." John admitted as he placed his tray in the table taking the seat next to Rodney. "It's just after everything that's happened I mean … what do I say?"

"Tell her truth." Ronan suggested taking the seat opposite as he watched Rodney eat his food like there was no tomorrow.

"Great idea! Hey Teyla so sorry you got kidnapped and tortured because of me, oh by the way I love you." John answered sarcastically "It just doesn't sound right to me."

"You're just scared to tell her how you feel?"

"NO!" John answered a little too quickly achieving him a 'I-told-you-so' look from Ronan "Ok …" he whined defeated "That may be part of it."

"What's so difficult" Rodney spoke up "I mean you've already told her once that you love her how hard can it be to say it again."

The fork which John had been about to place in his mouth fell from his hand clattering against his plate as he looked a Rodney in a state of shock.

"What do you mean again?" John asked anxious to hear the scientist answer. Was this what Elizabeth had been hinting at earlier in the infirmary? Why Ronan seemed to acting a little strange during their conversation in the gym? Had he told Teyla he loved her? When?

John watched as Rodney slowly raised his head only just realising what it was he had said. Waiting for his answer John was surprised to only receive one word from the scientist.

"What!" Rodney face looking as innocent as he could make it; John on the other hand wasn't fooled for a second.

"What do you mean I've already told her?"

"Did I say that?" Rodney asked looking a little nervous. "What I meant to say is … that you …" he stammered on his words trying hard to get himself out the hole he'd just dug himself.

When John had woken up that first time, Rodney could still remember the look on his face; the look of sadness and defeat.

He could remember how he'd asked Ronan and himself to watch out for Teyla; to make sure she was ok. The pain which sounded in his voice would be something that Rodney would never forget.

He had been speechless, something which very rarely happened to him. Carson had tried to ease the situation by tell him that he would be around to do it but John didn't listen. Didn't believe the words the doctor spoke were the truth.

John believed he was going to die.

Rodney could remember the feeling of surprise which had filled his body as he heard the final 3 words he spoke to Teyla before passing out. 'I love you'.

He really did believe it was the end, and for a moment so had everyone else as once again his heart rate began to drop before he flat lined again.

Rodney wasn't sure how long it had taken Carson and the nurse to get his heart beating one more and once again get John as stable as possible.

It had been a week before he woke up again, all memories of that first morning gone. They had all agreed not to mention it, all believed that John and Teyla would work things out between themselves; oh how wrong they had been.

"Rodney …" John's voice snapped him back from his memories and for a moment he was slightly disoriented not really remembering where he was. The annoyed look on the colonel's face soon made him remember.

Unsure of what to say Rodney glanced at Ronan only to see the big Satedan pretending to ignore them, his head down as he ate his food.

The quick look how ever hadn't go unnoticed by John.

"What's going on?" John asked turning from Rodney to Ronan and then back again, deciding Rodney would be the easies to get answers out off. "Rodney?"

"Do you remember waking up in the infirmary?" Rodney asked

"I remember waking up lots of times Rodney whats that got to do with telling Teyla I love her … and why did Elizabeth ask me the exact same question a few hours ago?"

"What did Carson tell you about …" Rodney stammered trying not to think about how close they had come to loosing a great friend.

"About getting shot?" John finished for him "Said I was lucky to be alive, but again what's that …"

"Did he tell you how many times you technically died?" Rodney asked looking up at John his face completely serious.

"Not in so many words; no."

"5" Ronan spoke from the other side of the table the serious look on this face matching Rodney's.

"5 times your heart stop … you died! And 5 times Carson was able to bring you back" John just listened hoping that Rodney would get to the point but the scientist remained silent.

"Rodney …"

"The morning after you were shot you woke up …" Ronan continued "Might have had something to do with Teyla sitting by your side the whole night … it might not have."

"What did I say?" John asked trying to make them get to the point. Carson had told him it had taken over a week for him to wake up, he'd never mentioned anything about waking up the morning after or that Teyla had been with all through the night.

With Elizabeth question earlier and now Rodney's stammer it could mean only one thing; something had happened that first morning. For Carson to leave that out something must have happened; he must have done or said something.

"What makes you think you said anything?"

"Because we wouldn't be having this conversation if I just woke up and went back to sleep." John growled anger building inside as Ronan and Rodney refused to tell him the truth.

"Well actually you woke up and then flat lined!" Rodney said breaking the silence which had engulfed the table. "That is after you told Teyla you love her!" he added as an after thought.

"You thought you were going to die … you told Teyla you loved her, asked Rodney and I to watch out for her …"

"Then I flat lined?" John asked interrupting Ronan.

John watched as Ronan gave him a slight nod to answer his question, not sure whether to be relieved that he finally knew or not. He'd want to tell Teyla that he loved her for the last 2 months but never got the nerve to do it. Know it turns out he's already told her; only since then he's been avoiding her and pretending nothing had happened.

"Why don't you just tell her again?" Rodney asked pulling John out of this thoughts.

"It's not that simple?"

"You still love her don't you?"

"Of course I do Rodney but …"

"Well then it is that simple! Just find her explain everything and …"

"It's not your fault John."

Rodney stopped mid sentence a look of confusing flashing across his face at Ronan's words, John on the other hand knew exactly what the Satedan meant.

"Kolya took her Ronan because of me … he hung her up and whipped her just to get at me. What part of that isn't my fault?"

"She doesn't blame you." Ronan told him his voice reassuring though it did little to banish the guilt which filled John's body.

"She should."

That was the real reason he had avoided Teyla these last two months was revealed. He was scared at what would happen if they continued on the path which that started that night; continuing to change their friendship into something more.

John wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with Teyla but how could he allow that to happen. Know that somewhere out there his enemies would waste no time using her to get at him just like Kolya had.

He couldn't allow that to happen. So for the last two months he had avoided her; tried to pretend nothing had happened hoping things would work out on there own. They hadn't.

So many times he'd found himself standing outside her quarters fighting the urge to go in and tell her the truth; tell her his true feelings that he loved her and nothing would change that. But every time his head won over his heart making him leave without saying a word.

"Just talk to her." John heard Ronan's voice but didn't answer "Tell her the truth, sort things out … because the longer you leave it the worst things will get."

He knew that Ronan was right, he couldn't leave things the way they were between them.

"Because if you don't … you're going to lose her good!"

Ronan's words hit him like a sack of bricks; again he was right. Without another word John stood from the table leaving his uneaten dinner on the plate and left the mess hall.

He needed to talk to Teyla but first he needed to work out what he was going to say.

Teyla almost didn't hear the chime if her door; too lost in her thoughts as she spare out into the darkness of the ocean.

After seeing John and Ronan entering the mess hall and decided that it wasn't the time for confronting him; Teyla had chosen to retreat back to her quarters.

Teyla had always considered herself to be a brave person who stood by her beliefs; fighting for them if necessary. But tonight she had taken the easy way out; she ran.

She knew when John woke up that first time that he would most likely not remember. She expected him to forget that he'd told her he loved her but what Teyla didn't except was John to avoiding her completely, acting as if nothing happened between them.

The door chimed again but Teyla choose to ignore it, hopefully who ever it was would give up and go away.

She was hiding again! Letting out a frustrated growl Teyla dropped her head into her hands trying to calm her breathing and the anger which was building inside of her.

Teyla wanted to pass all that anger on to John, to blame him for the way she felt but Teyla knew she was just as much to blame. She knew that John was avoiding her, yet she never confronting him about. She knew that things between then wouldn't be sorted out until they spoke, yet Teyla made no attempted to start the conversation.

The door chimed again this time followed but a voice.

"Teyla I know you're in there please open up!" Elizabeth soft voice sounded through the door and in that one instant the anger which Teyla felt seemed to melt away only to be filled with sadness and despair.

"Come in" Teyla answered, her voice was weak and for a moment Teyla believed Elizabeth hadn't heard her.

That was until the door slid open revealing a very worried looking Elizabeth.

"Teyla is everything ok?"

Teyla managed a weak smile but she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes but she willed them away. Calming her breathing once more she looked towards the leader of Atlantis who over the last few years had become one her greatest friends.

"I am fine Elizabeth." Taken a deep breathe Teyla hoped her voice sounded more convincing to Elizabeth than it did to her.

"I don't believe you."

Teyla saw a small smile appear on Elizabeth's lips and this was her undoing; a lone tear escaped her eye travelling the lonely path down her cheek.

"I did not think it could hurt this much."

'Because if you don't … you're going to lose her good!' Ronan's words kept ringing in his head refusing to leave.

He knew they were true; he could feel the closeness which Teyla and he share slipping away. If he continued to act as if nothing had happened, continued to avoid her … there was no telling what would happen.

Would Teyla leave? Would the tension between then be too much that she'd rejoin her people or ask to transfer to another team. John didn't think he could bare it if that happened.

Entering one of the transports John pressed the area which would leave to Teyla quarters, hoping that his mind would have settled before he reached them.

"Teyla he was about to give himself up in the hope that Kolya would keep his word and let you go. It's just …"

"Elizabeth you do not have to try and make me feel better."

Teyla had been unable to control all the emotions which had built up inside her over the last few weeks and with Elizabeth presence and kind words she broke.

Tears had pour from her eyes and she had sent a good half an hour sobbing into Elizabeth shoulder as her friend could do nothing but whisper reassuring words to her. Teyla couldn't remember the last time she had let her emotions take hold of her like that but in a way she was happy. It was like some weight had been lifting from her shoulders and for the first time in ages she felt calm and in control.

"Teyla I'm not …"

"I know you are speaking the truth" She smiled at Elizabeth "John would be willing to give his life just as quickly even if it had been Rodney, Ronan or even yourself. It does not mean that he's feeling for me are what I believed them to be."

Elizabeth could see the look of sadness which shone in Teyla eyes and wished she could do something to help. But apart from sitting there and comforting her - what more could she do? The thought of ordering John to sort things out flashed through her mind but she dismissed it before it was able to take hold.

When herself, Ronan, Carson and even Rodney had notice something off between the couple not long after John woke up , they had all agree not to get involved; Elizabeth was finding it was easier said than done.

"Teyla John loves you!"

"He does not remember …"

"It doesn't matter whether he remember saying the words or not!" Elizabeth spoke firmly cutting Teyla off. "I saw the way he acted when you were taken; I saw the pain in his eyes."

"Elizabeth he's barely spoken to me in the last 2 months. He tenses up when we're in the same room, he make excuses to leave when I arrive."

"Ok so his being an idiot at the moment but Teyla his a guy, and not just that his military. They don't talk about their feelings you know as well as I do John keeps everything lock up. What happened to you hit him hard and he blames himself!"

"He should not …"

"It doesn't matter that he shouldn't Teyla … Kolya took you to get at him and he holds himself responsible."

"He is pulling away from me so I won't get hurt again." Teyla spoke her voice barely above a whisper.

She knew that John would blame himself just as she would if their positions had been reverse. But was he willing to throw everything away that they might have? Just pretend they hadn't spent that night together or they had no feelings for each other. All out of fear of something which could happen anyway. Was she willing to let him do that?

"Do you love him?" Elizabeth's question catching her slightly off guard snapping her from her thoughts.

"Yes"

"Then don't let him pull away!"

Teyla was unable to reply to Elizabeth's answer as her door chimed signalling some one was there.

"Excuse me a minute" Teyla whispered as she stood to see who could be at her door at this late hour. The person standing there being the last person she expected to see.

"Hey" John spoke his voice soft as a small nervous smile appeared on his lips. "Could I come in?"

Teyla was unsure what to say the shock of seeing him still running through her mind.

Neither of them seemed to notice Elizabeth as she stood from where she had been sitting and walked towards them.

"Its late I should be leaving anyway. We can continue this tomorrow Teyla"

Teyla heard her words and fear suddenly filled her body at the thought of being left alone with John. But why? He was her friend the man she loved why would she be afraid of him.

"I don't want to interrupt!" John began to stammer and Teyla could tell he was looking for a way to leave.

"No … it is fine please come in John." Teyla spoke calmly moving slightly to the side to allow John in and Elizabeth out.

John watched as the door to Teyla's room slid shut behind Elizabeth and a part of him wished she change her mind and turn back round.

What was he going to say to her? What could he say after 2 months of avoiding her? How could he ask Teyla to love him after Kolya did those things to her; when it was his fault he had done them.

How could he …

"John …" Teyla spoke from behind him snapping him from his thoughts. "Is everything ok?"

Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves John knew it was now or never. Turning slowly until he was facing the women he loved John could do nothing but stare into her eyes.

"John …"

"I came to talk …" he stammered not entirely sure what to say "… talk to you."

A small smile appear on Teyla lips and John released a breath he hadn't even realised he had been holding; maybe she wasn't mad at him after all.

"Why now?" Teyla was overjoyed that John was there but part of her still feared that this was going to end badly. What if Elizabeth was wrong and he didn't feel the same way as she did. Would she still be able to work with him knowing that he was the reason her heart was broken.

"I've been avoiding you I know and I just want to …"

"You don't need to explain John." Teyla cut him off; she couldn't bare to hear the words. What he told her in the infirmary must have just been the drugs. She had been holding on to false hope.

He was going to tell her it had all be a mistake that they should just remain good friends; how could she stay friends with this man when she knew what it was like to kiss him, to touch; to be touch by him.

"Are you sure because I really think I should …"

"I understand!" Teyla turned away from John refusing to let him see the tears which filled her eyes. "Those few days were stressful on everyone but mostly you. I understand that things were said … done which maybe shouldn't have been. People make mistakes John its nothing …

"Hang on a minute!" John cut in. Was he hearing her correctly? "You think it was a mistake?" He asked unable to restrain the hurt which sounded in his voice.

"Isn't that why you have come here."

"Hell no!"

Those 2 words caught Teyla by surprised, turning to face John she waited anxiously for him to elaborate.

"You think that night meant nothing to me?" John asked as he walked closer towards Teyla; so close that their bodies were practically touching. "That night with you meant everything! Christ Teyla how could you think it didn't?"

"The last 2 months you've …"

"I've been an idiot; that's what I've been." John watched as a lone tear escape her eye and ran down her cheek. Lift his hand he gently wiped the wetness away before cupping her face.

"I was so scared went Kolya took you. I don't know if I was shaking more from losing you or from the anger I felt toward Kolya. All I could think about was getting you back because the thought I life with out you just wasn't …" John stammered. He wanted to say the best words; the right words but nothing seemed to sound right. "Life wouldn't be worth living with out you Teyla."

He watched as more tears slid from her eyes travelling down her cheeks only to be stopped by his fingers.

"The last two months … I thought …." John closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was terrible at this sort of thing, speaking his feelings it wasn't him; yet he need to tell her. "He did those things Teyla because of how I feel for you; he tortured you because I love you. I couldn't bare if it happened again"

Teyla had heard all his words but 3 kept running around in her mind. "You love me?" She asked still not believing he had said them.

John opened his eyes still cupping her face he smiled. "Yes" he told her and the look of joy which filled her eyes overwhelmed him; but there was still more thing he needed to tell her. More that she needed to understand. "I thought if I ignored everything, things would just go back to normal … but they didn't. I love you, more than life itself but I couldn't stand it if someone used you to get to me."

"What are you trying to say?"

Teyla watched as his eyes dropped from hers soon to be followed by his hands. He was pulling away from her; redrawing once again. "Maybe we should just let things go back to how they were … before that night. Just pretend …"

"Don't you dare tell me to pretend it never happened John Sheppard because I can't do that … and if your honest with yourself neither can you." She spoke angry that he could even suggest it.

Taking hold of his hand she prevented him from moving and at the sudden contact his eyes meet hers once again.

"Do you know the only thing that kept me going when Kolya held me captive?" She could tell by his face this was the last thing John wanted to talk about but it needed to be said. She wasn't going to let things go back to how they were.

"I thought of you … I knew you were coming to save me and I wasn't going to give up on that. And then you came … you saved me and nearly died doing it."

"Teyla …"

"NO." standing on her toes she cupped his face forcing him to keep eye contact. "We are still going to love each John; people could still use us against each other whether we act on our feeling or not."

"Teyla …"

"I love you John Sheppard and I am not going to let you walk away from this … not without a fight!"

John didn't know what to say; Teyla was right. Even if they left things between them he wouldn't just stop loving her; it would still hurt just as much.

Why would it be wrong to not try a relationship with Teyla? Yes they were on the same team but Elizabeth wouldn't mind and the people back at Stargate command didn't have to know; it was none of their business anyway.

It was true he was rubbish at relationships but then he had never loved someone the way he loved Teyla.

"John …" Teyla began but he never let her finish.

His lips crashed into hers pouring everything he had into that kiss, His hands once again cupping her face and Teyla's arms slipped around his neck. They stayed like that for minute, hours; time just seemed to melt away.

For the first time in 2 months everything fell into place. They were where they were meant to be; in each other arms.

His

Authors note:

It's finally finished!!! This chapter turned out to be a little longer than I expected – actually a lot longer than what I expect. My longest chapter before this was 3341 this one is 7325

I hope you enjoyed it and you think it's a good end to the story. I loved writing this chapter but when I went back and re-read it I wasn't too sure. So its been re-writing a few time but I still not 100 sure.

I wanted it to be nice end to the story as I kept leaving you with all those cliff hangers but I didn't want it to be boring with nothing much happening. For some reason it just doesn't matter completely what I had in my head. But over all I'm very please with this story and I loved writing it.

Please let me know what you think, I have enjoyed writing this fic so much I'd love to know that you have enjoyed reading it.

Please keep a look out as I have at least 2 one of storied almost finished and I will try and post soon and another 2 or 3 in my mind ready to write.

Thank you for reading

Love

Flea