It turned out Dimitri and I would have to share a room. The hotel wasn't very fancy, but it was a decent one, meaning about half rooms were booked or occupied. He said nothing as we walked to the room we'd be staying for the next few days, according to him. I scowled, not wanting to share a room with someone who probably hated me. Oh, who was I kidding? Of course he hated me

He probably heard my thoughts because he turned his head briefly to look at me. I avoided his gaze, not wanting to get ensnared in his deep, beautiful eyes that could easily put me in a trance…

Damn it, I was doing it. Dimitri finally turned back so he could slide the key card into the hotel door of our room. I slipped in silently when he held it open, waiting for me to go first. I tossed my bag down onto the bed, carefully unpacking only the things I would need the most, keeping the rest of my items inside the bag.

I glanced around, only noticing that there was one bed, of course. Dimitri had pulled a bed from the couch. Without looking at me, he said, "I'll sleep here. You can have the bed."

I opened my mouth, wanting to protest, but he beat me to it. The bond revealed to him that I was ready to fight him on that. His head swiveled around to face me, his expression controlled, but anger kindling in his eyes. I cowered away from the hateful gaze, going into the bathroom to change into something to wear for the night.

When I came back out, Dimitri was lounging on his own bed, the TV on. I quietly made my way back to the small bedroom and crawled into bed, feeling empty and alone without Dimitri. I sighed and flipped around, turning off the light and settling for the night.

Whispers and taunting kept running through my head as I was jolted awake by the nightmare. My hair clung to my clammy, sweaty skin and my breathing was irregular. I swallowed as I remembered the last words of the creature in my dream….

"You are alone. That will get you into some trouble…Trouble with me. You have no friends anymore, dear child, and you are doomed for death. So are the ones you love."

Again, pictures of seeing the people I loved dead, flashed through my mind. Tears were streaming down my cheeks, tears I hadn't even realized I had been crying. Slowly, I got up and peeked into the other where Dimitri was sound asleep, the lights all turned off.

We were running according to human time, so it was midnight, the sky beyond the curtains dark and black. I shuddered, remembering the darkness and pure evil power radiating off of the creature.

Dimitri stirred, but didn't wake. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with him like I used to do when I was little. Yeah, like he would want me in bed with him after all I had done to hurt to him, everything I had done to hurt the ones I love.

I exhaled and padded back to my bed, sitting cross legged on it, face buried in my hands as I wondered how the hell I was supposed to figure out this mess. My head throbbed from overload and I let out a frustrated yell, all the emotions bubbling to the surface.

I tossed a pillow angrily at the wall. That brought Dimitri into the room. The door swung open and Dimitri was there. He wore only a pair of pants. He looked alert, buts slightly tired.

"Rose, what happened?" he demanded.

Tears streamed my face again and I couldn't get a hold of my emotions as they poured out. "Why would you care?" I sniffed bitterly. "I thought you couldn't forgive me. I thought you hated my guts because of what I did. I thought you fucking wouldn't talk to me again!" by now my voice had rose to above a shout, almost screaming.

His expression didn't change. "Don't let the darkness get to you," he said with a dark tone, watching me.

I rubbed my arm across my eyes. "This? This is nothing!" I punched the bed, and was about to punch something else.

That made him come over and kneeling on the bed, he grabbed my arms and pinned my arms onto the bed. "Roza, give it to me. Don't surrender. Fight. You're a strong fighter. You're my fighter. I love you," he whispered.

Did he not understand that I had to hurt someone? Did he not understand how hard it was to fight this? Struggling with the black emotions inside of me, I focused on Dimitri's familiar features, slowly sinking into oblivion…

"I told you, dear child, that you would regret this," the voice of creature filled my head as he laughed cruelly.

I grimaced at the pain in my side. "I know that. And I'm not alone. I've got Dimitri with me."

The thing scoffed. "With you physically, but emotionally? No, you're alone and you're mine at last!"

I shook my head, clutching my side. "No…No…Love conquers all!" I screamed as the pain increased.

The thing snickered. "Yes, I'm sure it does. That's why you're here," it was being sarcastic.

I crumpled to my knees, still clutching my side. "Why…What did you do to me?" my voice was starting to fade and so was the life from me.

"You think Strigoi are your only enemies? Think again! You must drink my demon blood and become like me. You must do it now or you die."

I moaned. "No…Can't..."

The thing growled. "Yes, you must." It was getting frantic. "No, you must stay with me! You cannot go back!" it howled.

"Goodbye….Mitri…" I whispered at last.

The world dissolved and I was back in the room with Dimitri. He was cradling me, rocking my motionless body. Adrian, Lissa, and Christian in the room too, all looking anguished. Lissa was sobbing, saying my name.

I heard Adrian talking. "I'll see if I can get into her dream, maybe I can figure out what's going on."

I saw him focus for a moment before he returned, sighing and blinking. "I can't get into her head. Something's purposely keeping me out."

"Rose!" Lissa cried. "Rose, wake up! Please!"

Christian pulled her back as she attempted to heal me. "Lissa, I don't think anymore healing will help…." I saw reality hit all of them as Christian came to a conclusion: "She's dead. She's really gone."

I tried to scream out that I was alive, that I could hear them. "Belikov, do you think you can get into her through the bond?" Dimitri looked hesitant at Adrian's question.

"I'll try."

I felt him in my mind and tried to open up so I could talk to him. Mitri… I sighed, using the childhood nickname I had given him.

My Roza, what happened? I have never heard him sound so relieved.

I don't know! I can't wake up! I wailed.

Shh, calm down. Focus. Does this have to do with the nightmare you had earlier?

I gasped. How did you know?

He sounded wry as he spoke. I was pulled into your head. I was going to come check on you, but figured it was nothing…I'm sorry. I should've noticed this sooner.

My lip trembled at the thought of never waking up. Dimitri…I'm…sorry about everything. About hurting you. Tell the others that I'm really sorry for snapping at them and that I love them.

Now, he was getting mad. No! Rose, you're not going to die. I won't let you. Focus on me. Focus on Lissa, your brother, and Ivashkov. We all love you Rose in one way or another. Focus on the love and come back to me…

His voice faded out and I was alone in my head again. Yet, this time I pushed through the barriers and did what Dimitri told me. I made sure I could see the faces of everyone I loved. Especially Dimitri.

Finally, finally, I felt my soul drift back into my body. My eyes fluttered open and Lissa started screaming, until Christian put a hand over her mouth. Dimitri pulled me up into a sitting position and I rubbed my eyes, wiping my arm across my face.

"What happened?" Dimitri demanded worriedly.

"I-I'm not exactly sure, but something's going on. Something wants me to suffer." Soon, the whole situation poured out of me, starting from the Court when I had been having all those dreams and nightmares.

No one knew what to think of this. "Wait, then how come I was blocked from your mind?" Adrian asked.

I shrugged, feeling tired and irritated by all the attention. Dimitri, noticing, stood up and ordered everyone back to their rooms. They all left grudgingly and I was alone with Dimitri once more.

"Are you still mad at me?" I inquired.

He sighed. "How can I be? How can I be mad with you for so long?"

I rolled my eyes and pressed against him. "I'm so sorry about everything. I still love you."

I heard his heartbeat and his breathing as I rested my head against his chest. "I love you."

I hesitated with my next question… "Dimitri…Can we…talk?"

I heard him take in a deep breath. "I suppose we can."

"I already said this, but I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was doing…I guess, I was just shocked that you would hide that from me and then expect me to understand when you attempted to explain it to me. And then I wasn't thinking when I drank from Adrian and he drank from me….But, it's only blood, it's not like we're really bonded, right?" I looked up.

His expression…it was almost terrifying. His jaw was clenched. "Rose…You and Ivashkov are bonded. Different from being a spirit user, but since you both are, that intensifies the bond. Rose, it comes with a physical and emotional connection, much like the one we have—"

I cut him off. "There is a way to break it, I'm positive."

He exhaled. "I don't know for sure. You'll need to talk to a Moroi who went through it already….Preferably Eileen…"

I pressed my palm against his cheek. "You know more than you're letting on. I can tell."

Finally, his brown eyes met my blue ones. "All I know is that there is somewhat a way to break it, but it's a painful process."

My eyes widened and he continued. "You obviously don't know everything, but the emotional connection… The blood drinking from one another binds the both of you. The bond is kind of similar to what we have, but just as strong. The physical one is strong because you already care for him. You'll crave him eventually and that craving won't stop until your needs are satisfied by him."

"Wait, wait, wait…How do you know?"

He continued to look at me and I sighed. "Okay, I get it, guardian secrets; you've been a guardian for a while."

Dimitri looked away. "Rose, do you get what I'm saying? You will want Ivashkov eventually. No matter who else you love, the lust for him will still be there; the desire to be as close to him as possible will not fade unless you break it. You're still young and won't be able to fully control that impulse and sooner or later you guys will hook up." His voice was strained.

Suddenly, I got what he was saying and my jaw just about dropped open when I caught the underlying message about me and Adrian. I gulped and felt immediately worse and immensely guilty for my actions when the message came in loud and clear.

Craving Adrian and being as close to him as possible meant I was not only going to hook up with him in a sense like I used to in the past. No, I would crave him differently, like I craved Dimitri: it meant I would have to sleep with him to ease the desire—as in sex.

Holy hell what'll happen now? Oh, my God! xD

And I wanna give a special shout out to shay. You gave some ideas and suggested that Dimitri should stay mad at Rose. Thanks again!

SONGS:

Impossible—Shontelle

Collide—Howie Day

So Far Away—Avenged Sevenfold

Scars—Papa Roach

On Your Own—Green River Ordinance

Today Was A Fairytale—Taylor Swift

Undo It—Carried Underwood

100 Years—Five For Fighting

Consider Me Gone—Reba McIntire

You'll Think Of Me—Keith Urban

Falling Slowly—Glen Hansard

Reflection—Christina Aguilera