Chapter 28 - The Two Sakuras
The Higurashi family did not make a great effort to hurry the next morning. They took time to enjoy a leisurely breakfast at the ryokan's buffet, at least, as leisurely as anything involving Tsuchiya could be. After breakfast, they retired back to their rooms to dress the children and prepare for the great event.
"Mama, you did let Aunt Sakura-san know the children were very excitable, so a quiet meeting would be best, didn't you?" Kagome asked as she tied on Sakura's hat.
"I tried," Mama sighed as she wrestled Tsuchiya into a jacket. She looked up, seeing InuYasha slid Tetsusaiga under his belt as he finished his preparations. "InuYasha-kun, that sword might not be the best idea today."
"I have to keep the sword with me," InuYasha objected. "It's not safe otherwise."
"If you're worried about it being stolen..." Mama started.
"It's not that, Mama," Kagome interrupted. "It's InuYasha who's not safe without the sword."
"Oh," Mama said. After a moment, she asked, "Why?"
Kagome explained briefly that InuYasha's youkai blood was sealed by the sword so that he could control himself in life-threatening situations.
"We're just going to visit an old woman," Mama mused. "Surely there's nothing life-threatening about that. It would be very awkward explaining the sword to any policemen or guards we might meet though. Couldn't we leave the sword for just a couple of hours?"
Kagome considered it unhappily. Mama had a point. They had left the sword buried in the luggage on the trip over, with the prepared explanation that they were taking it to an antiquarian for evaluation if anyone happened to ask. That would be a lot harder to do with it strapped to InuYasha's waist on a trip to visit an old nun. And really, what could possibly happen in downtown Kyoto in modern times that InuYasha could not handle on his own? But still... too many things had happened in the past.
In the end, Mama prevailed on InuYasha to leave the sword.
The week before New Year, Mama had received an updated address for the meeting. After they got off the trolley, Kagome looked across the street at the large community center building and wondered if Mama had transcribed a number or something on the address. There was nothing about this building that suggested a quiet little family meeting with an old nun.
"Mama, this can't be right," she said as she looked up and down the impressive facade of the building.
"It's what I have," Mama said, fishing in her purse. "See, here's her note."
Kagome looked over the note and looked again at the address on the building. They did indeed match.
"Well, we won't know until we look, will we?" said Sota.
They crossed the street and entered the building, soon locating a party by the sounds coming from a large room down the hall. They stopped in the doorway to look around. Everyone in the room was dressed to the nines, making the Higurashis clothes, which were modestly dressy, but more geared to the needs of caring for small children, look a bit dowdy. Sota nudged Kagome and looked pointedly across the room. There, on the far side in a corner, Great Aunt Sakura was talking Uncle Ayigo. Kagome repressed a shudder and exchanged despairing looks with Sota. In all of the projections that Kagome had forecast for the day, Uncle Ayigo had never entered into any of them. This ratcheted the disaster factor to a whole new level.
Uncle Ayigo, or "Uncle Ego" as Sota liked to call him, was Mama's stepbrother. They were about as different in temperament as two people could be. Uncle Ayigo had worked hard to insinuate himself into the highest circles of Kyoto society. He had married the daughter of one of the old families, was well-placed in her father's firm, and now seldom failed to wave his good fortune under everyone else's noses. He had a special disdain for his hapless step-sister, who had married the son of an eccentric, no-name priest and now had nothing to show for it. The fancy hall and the extravagant array of refreshments were, of course, his work. Several of his wife's relations were clustered about in elegantly dressed groups, chatting. Kagome spotted a few of her side of the family sprinkled here and there, Aunt Aiko, a few cousins. How had a quiet meeting with Great Aunt Sakura ballooned into this extravaganza?
One of Sota's favorite cousins waved him over. Kagome and her little group followed, allowing them to postpone their encounter with her uncle. Meanwhile, Mama sucked in her gut to go deal with her obligatory greeting with Ayigo.
" G'Morning, Toyo-kun," Sota said, "What's the deal with the big party? We thought we were just having lunch with Aunt Sakura-san or something."
Toyo rolled his eyes, then said, "Uncle Ego-domo found out about it and decided to throw an impressive show in case Kagome-chan's husband was a good prospect for a business contract. He absolutely insisted."
Sota and Kagome both looked at InuYasha, then at each other and nearly burst at the seams trying not to laugh. Sota looked like he was actually looking forward to Uncle Ayigo meeting InuYasha. Toyo wasn't slow; he looked at InuYasha and remarked, "You must be Kagome-chan's husband. I'm a cousin, Toyo, their Aunt Aiko's son."
"InuYasha," InuYasha bowed slightly as he introduced himself. "This is our son, Tsuchiya, and our daughter, Sakura."
Sakura gave Toyo her usual inspection, and decided she liked him, favoring him with a smile. Tsuchiya wasn't paying any attention at all; he was busy inspecting his surroundings and bouncing on his toes, hoping for a chance to go explore soon.
Toyo grinned and said, "Let's blow out of here and go into the courtyard. It'll be easier to avoid Uncle Ego's set that way."
Sota and Toyo grabbed drinks on the way out, then joined Kagome, InuYasha and the children out in a courtyard lined with benches and with a small garden growing in the center of it.
"So, just how did Uncle Ego-san get the impression that InuYasha might be a business mark?" Sota asked. "I know we've never said anything like that."
"Well, the word going around here is that InuYasha-san is from a samurai family," Toyo explained. "Uncle Ego-domo assumed that meant he was well placed and had resources. And he's always looking for financing for one project or another."
The muted headache that had been lurking in the back of Kagome's head since last night sent a few tendrils drifting out toward her temples. "Do you suppose anyone would notice if we took the kids and snuck out?"
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Their quiet haven was only good until midday, when Mama found them.
"There you are. I've been looking all over. They're serving lunch now, you have to come in." Mama was looking more than a little stressed after her ordeal of coping with Ayigo. "And just so you know, Ayigo is not very happy that you have not been available."
"I'm sorry, Mama," Kagome said contritely, as she and InuYasha collected the children and prepared to return to the party hall.
Mama directed them to another room, where long tables had been laid out for lunch. Around the edges of the room, several other tables had been set up holding trays of tidbits and desserts. Toyo stayed with them and they slipped into a section of one long table monopolized by Toyo's mother and the rest of his family. Kagome relaxed slightly as she and her family was surrounded by a buffer of Higurashis and Aunt Aiko's family.
A group of young women, expensively dressed in the latest styles, started to attention and watched avidly as Kagome and her family crossed the room and joined Aiko.
"Yuki, Is that Kagome?" Chizu asked, staring. It was the only group of people she had not seen yet.
"That's her," the hard-eyed young woman in the middle confirmed.
They stared at InuYasha as he settled Tsuchiya into a seat, then sat beside Kagome.
"Is that the guy she supposedly married?" Hatsuko asked. "Good heavens,where did she findthat freak?"
"Never mind that," Chizu smirked, "Where did he find that atrocious wig?"
Hatsuko glanced archly at Chizu. "Well, that was worth the price of admission. What do you suppose he looks like underneath all that fuzz?"
Yuki snarled under her breath, "If that's the guy I'm supposed to go play kissy-kissy with, I am going to personally murder my father."
"Now, now, Yuki, you might bowl him over at first glance. And maybe he's eccentric and loaded," Chizu snickered. "Shall we go for a closer look?"
They encircled Kagome as she was telling Tsuchiya to please stop stabbing at the tofu in his soup with his chopsticks and eat some beans. Sakura's growl warned her something was up. Turning, Kagome looked up at the ringleader with grim recognition.
"Ah. What do you want, Yuki?" she asked shortly.
"What, not Yuki-chan any more?" Yuki queried with a malicious gleam in her eye. "Is that any way to talk to your best cousin?"
Kagome held her gaze, remaining silent. Her past experiences with Yuki had involved either patronizing bullying or haughty ostracism. The last time she had seen Yuki, Yuki had not even found her worth noticing.
Yuki made a show of pouting momentarily, then said coyly, "Well, are you going to introduce us?"
Kagome unclenched her jaw long enough to say, "InuYasha, this is my cousin Yuki. I don't know the other two ladies. Yuki, my husband, InuYasha, our son, Tsuchiya and our daughter, Sakura."
"Inu...Yasha," Yuki repeated with mock deliberation, like she was trying to fix it in her head. "How...unusual." Yuki's friends tittered. Kagome could feel InuYasha tensing beside her.
Yuki stood a moment, twirling a lock of hair while she studied InuYasha. She raised her eyebrows, smiling, and said, "Really, that is the most amazing hair. Wherever did you find it?" The smile never touched her eyes, which remained hard and mean.
InuYasha had had plenty of time to take in the undercurrents. He was well acquainted with false smiles and taunting words, and did not much care to continue the game.
"The hair," he said, staring back with equally hard eyes. "Yeah, lots of people start with the hair. There's generally a few comments about my eyes too. Most people miss the more dangerous details, like the fangs and the claws." He inspected his fingers a moment, then cracked his knuckles. "Especially the claws. And I've heard every possible variation on how I got this way. It's gotten very boring, and you're never right. We're going to enjoy our meal now, so why don't you take your wonderful cleverness and shove off."
He turned back to his meal and prodded Tsuchiya to stop mooshing his rice and try some pickle or fish.
Sakura growled again from InuYasha's arms, her eyes fixed on Yuki. Yuki shot an irritated glance at her, then did a double-take, staring more closely at the baby. They locked eyes for a while, the arrogant black eyes meeting the disapproving golden ones. In the end, Yuki was the one who dropped her eyes with a shamed flush.
"Way to land the sale, Yuki-chan," Toyo smirked from the other side of the table.
Yuki shot Toyo a lethal glare and flounced off, followed by her retainers.
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Tsuchiya looked up and down the table, observing everyone. Papa, Uncle Sota and Grandma were happily talking to the people sitting across from them. Mama had slipped out to change and feed Sakura. For the moment, no one was paying any attention to him. He stopped whacking the squash and spinach on his plate and quietly slid off his cushion. He really wanted a closer look at the colorful displays on the tables edging the room and he had waited long enough.
Kagome came in a few minutes later with a sleepy-eyed Sakura and settled back on her cushion. Looking around, she asked, "Where's Tsuchiya?"
"Ummm," said Sota, looking at Tsuchiya's empty cushion.
"He was here a moment ago," added InuYasha, craning his neck to look around.
In the far corner of the room, the tablecloth of a large table decked with many-tiered platters of colorful confections suddenly slid off to the side and vanished, carrying with it its load which landed on the floor with a resounding crash. Kagome and InuYasha both flinched, cringing. That much noise could only mean that Tsuchiya was involved somehow. Both of them hastened to the corner to fish a howling Tsuchiya out of the pile of tumbled platters and spattered cakes.
"Oh, look at you," Kagome fussed as she tried futilely to pick the cake and icing off of him. He was liberally smeared with several colors of icing intermingled with chunks of cake and glistening gobbets of jelly.
"Never mind him, check out the mess!" Sota and Mama had arrived on Kagome and InuYasha's heels. Mama whisked off with Tsuchiya and the baby bag to clean him up and change his clothes. Sota jumped in to help InuYasha and Kagome dump the fallen platters and broken plates into the middle of the ruined tablecloth.
Great Aunt Sakura drifted near as the catering staff swooped in to take over the clean up. Her black eyes were dancing as she surveyed the mess.
"I knew I could count on you to liven this lot of stiffs up. Shall I take the baby while you mop yourself up?"
Kagome stared up at her from the floor, appalled. "Liven things up?! It.. It's a disaster! How am I supposed to be able to face anyone after this?"
"Psht!" the old woman scoffed. "It's not like you enjoy their company. You want to see them about as much as I do. This should guarantee you won't be included in any further invitations for at least ten years. I should be so lucky."
"Ohhh..." While being blacklisted by Uncle Ayigo and his relations had its appeal, Kagome had been raised to care about the opinions of others. She was in an agony of shame and embarrassment. She wondered where Aunt Sakura had come by her hardy disregard of what other people thought.
"I do still want to meet our young Sakura," Aunt Sakura firmly reminded her. "You can't dodge me all day." Trust Aunt Sakura to bluntly strike the nail on the head.
"She doesn't warm up to people right off," Kagome warned her as she gave up and handed Sakura to her great-great aunt.
"Good for her," the old lady replied, lifting the child up to where she could get a good look at her face.
Sakura's bright measuring gaze met the equally measuring gaze of the old woman. Silently, the two Sakuras assessed each other. After a long moment, the old woman's face brightened into an expression of delighted satisfaction as the younger Sakura steadfastly refused to drop her eyes.
"Good! A girl with some spine. I would have been sorely disappointed if she had been just another mushbrain with a pretty face."
Kagome and Sota looked at each other with bemusement. Really, the old dragon just got more surprising with each exposure.
Sakura made her judgement then, a slow smile tinged with a great deal of respect. Great Aunt Sakura wasn't one to cuddle with, but she was one to trust.
"Huh! So, you think I might be worth your time, do you?" Aunt Sakura snorted. "I suppose I ought to be flattered. You and I will talk when you get older. I haven't met anyone truly interesting in a long time. You may just fit the bill if you don't get ruined in the meantime."
"Ruined?" InuYasha bristled.
"Yes, sir; no, sir; what do you think, sir?" Aunt Sakura said scornfully. "Everyone goes in a circle and no one ever thinks. This girl has a mind - make sure she uses it."
"NooOOOOooooo!" The loud squeal came from the ladies room, then Tsuchiya, dressed only in a T-shirt, flew in through the door and dashed across the room screaming, "No! No! No nappies! Nonappies! I'm nottired!"
Mama rushed in the door after him, holding underpants and overalls.
Great Aunt Sakura roared with laughter as she watched Tsuchiya fly up the aisles between the tables. "I see someone takes after his father."
InuYasha flushed indignantly. "Hey! It's not like I make a habit of... Never mind." He broke off to go intercept Tsuchiya as he reached the end of one of the aisles.
"My, he is the active one," Aunt Sakura observed as Tsuchiya dodged his father and his grandmother and took off in another direction, still yelling. "However do you keep up with him?"
"About like that," Sota admitted as InuYasha was forced to change direction suddenly and launch into a flying tackle to capture him. Howling, Tsuchiya squirmed and flailed uselessly in his father's arms as Mama finished dressing him.
"It's good to see there's still a bit of spark in the family. I know Kazuko was in a tight spot when she married Seige-san, but really!"
InuYasha carried the hysterically sobbing Tsuchiya over to join Kagome. Tsuchiya's eyes were ringed with dark circles, glazed with exhaustion. Kagome shook her head and held him as the tantrum ran down. Very soon, his head was snuggled on her shoulder and with a last couple of hiccups, he was sound asleep.
Kagome and Aunt Sakura found a quiet side room to lay the children down for a nap. A couple of other children were already there, curled up on comforters. Kagome wrapped Tsuchiya and Sakura up warmly and set them down to join the other children.
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Sakura woke abruptly, startled out of her nap by something. She was not at home; she did not recognize the scents and sounds around her, but that was not what had disturbed her. She could still sense the comforting presence of her parents, even if they weren't in the room. No, it was something else, something subliminal, barely detectable, though deeply malevolent. Carefully, she sat up and looked around. Something flittered past, just at the edge of her vision. It wasn't youkai; she knew youkai, Shippo, Kirara, even Papa. This was something very different; she couldn't detect its shape or substance, just the powerful sense of some deeply evil awareness coalescing in the room.
A shiver ran down her spine as the something drew together to a single point, circled the room, then swooped down to hover over the little group of children. It seemed to inspect each of them in turn, discounting the other children quickly, but hovering for a long time over Tsuchiya, then circling around her head, as though inspecting her from all angles. She followed its progress as it moved, catching glimpses of its aura from the edges of her sight.
Words came to her, not spoken words, but speech nonetheless. Sakura "listened" to the musings of the thing as it hung in space near her.
"What have we here? Little youkai children. Whatever could they be doing in this time? It's been so long, so very long, since I last encountered youkai. It took me over four hundred years to escape that chamber in Hell that unnatural bitch of a youkai miko cast me into, I, who was destined for Nirvana!
"Damn her soul, if soul she has! That youkai bitch should still be alive, youkai are immortal, and nothing could exorcise that one. I will have her!
"But how the world has changed. The youkai are no more. I've been searching for decades and this is all I find. I know that bitch's aura, I could have sworn I saw it here!
"Babies! What is it about these babies that called me? Could these perhaps be her children? Oh, how delicious. That would be even sweeter."
The half-seen aura circled again, slowly, and Sakura gasped and whimpered as it reached out to touch her. She shrank back from the touch, looking out with frightened eyes.
"No..." the aura mused. "Not her child. How very interesting. Yes. I would recognize those eyes anywhere. How is it that I find you, four hundred years and more later, and yet just a babe?
"Buddha is kind to his servant. He found a way to serve the unnatural bitch up to him before she can banish him back to the underworld. This time, you are mine!"
A dark swirling void formed in the center of the aura, growing to an engulfing maw as the aura rushed toward her. Sakura screamed and thrust her chubby baby arms at the maw, repelling it with a surge of spiritual force of her own.
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In the main hall of the community center, InuYasha was in the middle of telling Uncle Ayigo just where he could put his demand that InuYasha apologize to the renowned financier Imamura Isamu for accosting him on the Tokyo subway. It turned out that Ayigo was courting the great man's favor in hopes of obtaining financing for a speculative expansion of his business. The realization that the ruffian who had so humiliated Imamura was his niece's husband was not settling well with Ayigo.
"Hold it just a minute," InuYasha told a red-faced Ayigo, "You're telling me this creep Imamura grabs Kagome's butt and I've got to apologize to him?! Just how does that work? I don't care it he's the son of the Emperor, no one gropes my wife!"
"I'm not going to let an illbred boor like you destroy my business prospects!" Ayigo spat. "You are going to..."
"I'm the boor!" InuYasha yelled. "What do you do when someone molestsyour wife? It sounds to me like you kiss his butt and thank him!"
Ayigo went from red to sputtering purple as his propriety was challenged. "I have never in my life been spoken to like that, young man. You need to seriously reconsider how you address your elders and betters."
Ayigo's affronted lecture went entirely unheeded as Sakura's scream rang from the room down the hall.
"Sakura!" InuYasha spun and bounded over the heads of the guests in the room to land in the doorway then disappeared down the hall. Kagome was only seconds behind him, followed by a stampede of the guests.
InuYasha bolted down the hall on all fours, scrambling at the door to the children's room to leap in, snarling, very much the aroused guard dog. Inside the room, he skidded to a halt and crouched tensely in front of Tsuchiya and the sobbing Sakura, growling furiously and sniffing the air for the source of the danger. His alarm rose to even greater heights when he could not locate the source of the threat. It was there, in the room all around him, but he could not see, smell or hear it.
Kagome was in the room seconds after him, her senses stretched out seeking the aura of the spirit too.
"Ghost!" she exclaimed as she caught the characteristic aura of a dead soul. "A very old and angry ghost. What could it possibly want here?"
The aura of the ghost shifted and spun about the room, examining the new arrivals. The distraught parents of the other children snatched them up and fled, unmolested, but when Sota and Mama tried to evacuate Tsuchiya and Sakura, the ghost dove again at Sakura, soul devouring maw opened wide.
Sakura screamed in Mama's arms as Mama ducked and tried to evade it. Kagome darted in after the ghost, warding it away from Sakura and Mama. InuYasha jumped in front of them again, looking around wildly as he tried to locate the spirit. Panicky frustration surged through him as he cast about blindly.
"Where is it?" he yelled, "I can't find it!" His panic spiraled out of control, releasing the barely-controlled youki bound within him. His pupils began to glow with an eerie blue light, the rest of his eyes turning red as the youki light illuminated the blood flowing behind them. As the vortex of youki built around him, his fangs and claws grew and jagged purple stripes throbbed into his cheeks.
"Oh no," Kagome gasped, "Now we're in trouble." She turned to the cluster of people gaping at the scene from the doorway and snapped sharply, "Get out! Move! Clear the building!"
As they continued to stare, stunned, she pushed out with her hand. "Now!" she commanded. The force of her push got them moving.
Soon, the only people left on the scene were the Higurashis, Great Aunt Sakura, and, unexpectedly, Uncle Ayigo.
Aunt Sakura's black eyes glanced sharply about the room, quickly locating the ghost.
"What's this?" she demanded. "What brought this spirit in here?"
"He wants Sakura," Kagome cried, "And I'm not sure I can handle him and InuYasha at the same time!"
"Sakura!" the old woman exclaimed, "What could he possibly want in a little baby? And just what is going on with InuYasha?"
"This really isn't a good time for explanations," Kagome cried as the ghost wheeled around InuYasha for another pass at Sakura. Kagome lunged again after the ghost, sending another surge of spiritual power after it.
The ghost hissed its fury and turned to attack Kagome. "Unnatural mother of an unnatural child! Not only do you consort with demons, you also pass through time untouched! What black kami do you serve that countenances such things?"
Aunt Sakura hastened to the children and pressed ofuda onto their clothes. Both children started crying as the ofuda stung them, but Mama and Sota held them in place, judging the ghost to be the greater danger.
Kagome called up a spell of banishment and clapped her hands together sharply, invoking the gods. A powerful pulse surged from her to the realm of the kami.
The River Woman looked up from the game field, surprised, at the call. She seldom monitored InuYasha and Kagome when they were in the modern world; their little portion of it was so benign it normally didn't warrant her attention. She surged to her feet and leapt in a smooth motion toward the human realm, a spiritual ripple that spiraled through the ether, gathering speed to become a numinous waterfall that landed in the little room in Kyoto, splashing down and eddying to reform into a rapidly flowing stream that coursed and quested about.
The ghost twisted away and tried to dissipate to another realm. The River Woman swirled around him, blocking his passage. Hissing, the ghost darted about, probing for a hole.
Emma-O took note of the invocation and discovered an escapee from the Chamber of the Zealots. A moment later, a stern Gatekeeper arrived in the room with shackles for the ghost. The Gatekeeper soon had him bound and returned to his special hole in Hell.
The ghost was gone, but InuYasha was still locked in his youkai vortex, unable to quell the building maelstrom, the only thought left to him was that his precious Sakura required his protection. Burning with his extravagant response to his inadequacy, he turned toward Mama, ready to rend anything that even touched his darling. A low growl built in the back his throat, warning of dire consequences when the last vestige of his control snapped.
"InuYasha!" Kagome cried. "InuYasha, it's over! Get a grip on yourself!"
He was beyond hearing her. Nothing mattered except Sakura, Sakura who was crying, Sakura who was in someone else's arms.
"Damn!" Kagome took the gamble, hoping it would be enough the shatter the vortex. "Sit!" she snapped sharply.
InuYasha crashed to the floor. A moment later, he looked up and Kagome was relieved to see golden eyes glaring back at her.
"Did you have to do that?" he demanded, aggrieved.
"I'm sorry," she sighed, coming to crouch beside him and stroke his hair. "It really was the gentlest way to bring you back."
InuYasha reached out and pulled Kagome close, burying his face in her hair and breathing in her scent.
"He's going to rip her throat out!" Ayigo shrieked as InuYasha shifted to pull her closer.
"Ayigo, get out!" Aunt Sakura snapped. "This is beyond you."
The last ominous swirlings of youki thinned and faded as InuYasha clung to Kagome, holding her tight in his embrace.
"Wha... What manner of beast are you?" Ayigo howled, beside himself with terror.
InuYasha flinched.
"Ayigo, one more word out of you and I will curse you and your house," Aunt Sakura exclaimed in disgust.
Ayigo blanched and fled.
InuYasha got up and gathered Sakura in his arms before turning haunted eyes to Kagome. "What happened? What did I do?"
"Nothing," Aunt Sakura replied. "Ayigo is being an ass. Bungling twit! I'll settle him later." Her bird-bright eyes remained fixed on the Higurashis, however, especially on InuYasha and Kagome. "Now, would anyone care to tell me what's really going on?"
By this time, InuYasha had had enough. He made no attempt to contain his surliness as Aunt Sakura asked probing questions about his background and how he had become entangled with the Higurashis. Kagome fretted herself into a dither as she tried to guess what Aunt Sakura was going to do with the information, especially in light of InuYasha's sullenness. She could just see a witch-hunt coming; she might never be able to return to modern times again.
Eventually, Aunt Sakura was satisfied. She sat a while in silent thought, digesting it, then murmured, "Absolutely extraordinary."
InuYasha muttered a couple of curses about meddling old women under his breath. He was staring into a far corner of the room, his chin on his hand, just sweating out his time there.
Aunt Sakura snapped a sharp glance at him then leaned over and said, "Relax, boy. I happen to like you. I spent the better part of the day watching you with Kagome and those children. You're doing a fine job of taking care of them. I wish I could say the same about the rest of the family."
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Once they were safely back in their suites in the ryokan, InuYasha's simmering temper exploded.
"That was why I need my sword with me!" he yelled as he stomped over to reclaim it. "None of that would have happened if I'd had Tetsusaiga!"
"InuYasha, even with Tetsusaiga, you wouldn't have been able to handle that ghost," Kagome said quietly. "The building would probably be leveled if you had brought it."
"But I wouldn't have lost it," he said angrily. "I don't even want to think about how close I came to killing everyone."
He wrenched himself away when Kagome tried to lay a comforting hand on his arm and retreated to a far corner of the room. "I have no business being here," he said in a soft voice rank with self-loathing. "I don't belong among people."
"No, I won't let you run," Kagome said. "You belong among people at least as much as you belong among youkai."
"How can you say that?" he snarled. "I'm a half-breed freak that's barely teetering on the edge of control. I should just admit it and take myself back into the forest until some stronger youkai finally relieves the world of the problem of my existence. What the Hell do you see in me anyway?"
Kagome looked at his back, grieving to see him so lost in his pain. Every time she had gotten him built up to where he felt like he might be worth something, that he had a right to enjoy the gifts of love, something like this happened and it all shattered and came tumbling back down. How could she help him believe in himself?
"I see my husband, my lover, the father of my children, but above all, I see my dear friend, beside whom I promised to stand no matter what, beating himself up again over what he is. You don't get to choose how you are made. And buried in the heart of that 'half-breed freak' is a fine man who cares very deeply about his wife and his children and I wouldn't give up that man for anything in the world."
"Kagome, you just don't get it."
"No. I do get it. I've been with you for years and I've seen everything. And despite it all, I'm still here and I still love you. You're just going to have to get used to it."
He blew out a frustrated breath, but turned and hugged her close anyway. After a long moment, he whispered into her hair, in a voice so choked with pain she could barely make him out, "Don't you see? I'm going to end up killing you someday."
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The River Woman paid an unusual call to the realm of the dead seeking to find out more about the ghost she had helped capture. She stood with the Gatekeeper outside the door to the Chamber of the Zealots and watched him howling out his fury at his fate.
"Who is he?" she asked as he howled yet again that he was a chosen of the Buddha and belonged at his side in Nirvana, not in this hole of Hell.
"He calls himself Daruma, believes himself to be a priest," the Gatekeeper replied. "He was a member of the Ikko-ikki based in Mikawa. He hasn't made much sense since he arrived. He obsesses only on how his destined place in Nirvana was denied to him by a youkai miko who cast him here. You know as well as I do that those who are destined for Nirvana go to Nirvana. He's not going to be leaving here until his obsession runs its course and he confronts the demons of his past, and the demons that landed him here were not that miko."
"What can you tell me about those demons?" the River Woman asked. A person's demons held information to who that person was and how their fate befell them.
"Nothing," the Gatekeeper said flatly. "He won't conjure them up. He's so fixed on the miko and the last moment of his life that all other memories are suppressed."
"Do you know anything about the miko?"
"Only that he claims she was a youkai and that her command of exorcism exceeded his. The images he conjures up are too fractured to make out. The only one that comes in clearly is a brightly glowing naginata that sweeps in a great circle to strike him down."
The River Woman watched Daruma for a while longer. There was no doubt he was mad. Even so, she wondered if his conviction that little Sakura was his bane was correct.
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