Author's note:
*Knock knock knock* Anyone here? I surely hope so!
Welcome and hello, my dear readers! Thank you all so much for the reaction on the last chapter, I am glad you enjoyed it.
I sincerely apologize for the mistake I made with the red hoodie – yes, it's the Marine Corps one, not the Navy one.
Thank you then, dear Guest, for pointing that out (aside some others) and I'm really happy you liked the chapter. :)
Dear Debbie, thank you so much for your review and I couldn't agree with you more, that's why I aimed for this kind of Gibbs' reasoning. He really doesn't share the spotlight well at all, although is primary mission is to teach his people the best and then he's jealous when they outshine him. I'll try to 'fix' him here. :)
Usual thanks is going to my surrogate sister Athina with whom we still are searching for a new Beta.
Hope you will enjoy the chapter, go go go reading!
Disclaimer:
I do not own NCIS or its characters.
Christmas Meeting – Chapter 28
Warning: This chapter is not edited, nor checked for errors by Beta. All mistakes are mine. So, please, take this into account, thank you. As you know, English is not my first language, so I apologize beforehand for all errors and mistakes.
It seemed that cuddling in the bed was becoming their daily morning routine. Somehow they had both woken up practically simultaneously, immediately nestling against each other to kill the merest gap between them and fit together so well like pieces of jigsaw. Her backside perfectly filled in his lap as he spooned her, his arms tightly wrapped around her while she held his hands and their legs were tangled together in a lovely web.
She loved the feeling of his nose nuzzling her neck through her hair and be enveloped in the warmth of his masculine embrace. Originally, she had had in mind to wake up early and go jogging as she had been used to for years. That was one of the tradition she had felt no reason to change. But she couldn't resist the appealing notion of lying in the bed with him, savouring the tranquil wordless moment.
She'd never been with anyone where silence didn't sign awkwardness, agitation or anger. She hadn't been used to this comfortable, pleasant and peaceful quiet. It surprised her how easy was to accept that she didn't need to say any words to assure herself that everything was alright. She just knew. And such knowledge was elevating to say the least.
It wasn't until his soft and gentle caresses changed, eliciting a completely different kind of warmth within her, when she realized that it was a work day. She threw a look on the nightstand where their photo from Paris dominated the place, checking the alarm clock to see what time it was. To her surprise and partial relief, his presence in bullpen was required in an hour.
"Tony, you have to go to work." She scolded him without any hint of annoyance in her voice. She had her reasons for refusing to go further and become engrossed in receiving and giving pleasure. Yet, she had no intention to confide to Tony about it. Certain intimate things were just still too delicate to share easily.
He gave a purr against the sensitive skin on her neck, sending shivers down her spine. "I still have a minute or two to cuddle with my girlfriend." He whispered into her ear, nipping at her earlobe sensually.
She rolled onto her back, forcing him to retreat his hands from her chest where his fingers started to rub her nipples. "Yes, you do. But you do not want just to cuddle." She said with a gasp as he slowly caressed her belly, causing a tugging feeling inside.
He pulled his head back and studied her for a brief second. "Ah, I get it. We need the bigger bed, right?" He assessed with a smile, nudging her nose with his.
"Yes. I was actually thinking about going bed hunting today." She replied sweetly, relieved that he didn't question further her refusal of intimate activities.
"You won't wait for me?" He feigned his shock and she chuckled in response. "Okay, I have to admit that I loved your bedroom in Tel Aviv, so I completely trust you in choosing the best bed."
Hearing his words about trust worked like a miracle on her and she turned into a mush in a second. Securing her hands around his neck, she pulled his head down for a kiss full of gratitude and passion he could barely grasp. But he kept up with her, kissing her deeply and intensifying his caresses on her belly, although he knew that it wouldn't lead anywhere. The simple thought that he could turn her on so effortlessly, though, was priceless.
"Something else on your schedule today?" He asked her when they parted, completely out of breath.
She nodded in positive and reached wither her fingers in his hair. "I have an invitation from Jimmy and Breena to go see Victoria." She said with a smile, slipping her hand on his cheek to caress it with the back of her fingers lovingly.
"Aw, you're gonna love her. She's gorgeous." Tony cooed and closed his eyes to savour the delightful feeling of her caresses. "Quite a wonder what the Autopsy Gremlin's been able to create. Not to mention what kind of beauty he was able to make his wife."
He received a headslap for his mockery at Jimmy's expense from her, his eyes flying open with hurtful expression. "For your information, DiNozzo, Jimmy is a wonderful, caring and kind-hearted man who happens to be also very quirky and adorably clumsy." She scolded him, although she was aware that he'd been joking. "But some women love that in men."
"Really?" He asked her, his face turning into an amused one.
She measured him up and down sceptically. "Oh, do not act as if you did not know." She called his bluff. "When you know it will get you a smile from a woman, you can be quirky and adorably clumsy, too."
He laughed out loud but agreed with her unconditionally and proved it with a fiery kiss. She gave in to it quickly and without protests but soon, she started to be a little bit restless. His endless caresses of her belly bordered with some sort of an obsession and it raised an unsettling feeling inside her. The anxiety seized her forcefully and even though she tried to fight it off, it was winning.
She hoped that he wouldn't notice but he could barely miss her squirming attempts to break free out of his warm hands. At first, he considered it as teasing, just to remind to him that he really was supposed to go to work soon, but then he registered the change of mood in her. Something was going on in the over-analytical brain of hers, he was sure about that.
"What's wrong?" He asked her directly, releasing her lips and ceasing the movement of his hands.
"Nothing." She lied automatically and looked away from as if it could stop him from pressing the issue. Which it didn't, of course, as he kept staring at her with the most intense and questioning gaze. She couldn't reveal the real reason of her distress, though, because she was afraid of his reaction and so she came up with something different. "It's just... I guess I partially agree with you."
He raised his eyebrow at her, prompting her to expand her sentence because he was kind of lost in her train of thoughts. "I mean, I have never thought that Jimmy would be the first one from our little group to get married and have kids." She explained her point of view, not meaning it in a bad way. She'd just had a different vision of future back then. "And look at him, he was actually the only one of us who really went for it."
Not knowing what to really think and being careful enough to rather remain silent than to say something he might regret later, he bit his bottom lip contemplatively. "True." He voiced his agreement and rolled off her, hanging his legs over the rim of his bed. "I really should get up and get ready for work."
Ziva kept lying in the bed and watched as the door of the bathroom shut behind him. Then she gave out a sigh of relief and started to think feverishly how to get herself at ease because she knew that she couldn't hide her agitation from him far too long. He was nosy and caring enough to conduct an investigation of his own and she really had no intention to make things between them go wrong.
Due to the abrupt changes in her life, she hadn't had enough time or space to think about it but this morning had actually reminded her that her period was supposed to start yesterday. Not that she had always had a regular period, quite the contrary actually. But for the last year or so, she could rely on her inner biological clock and she could tell immediately that it had been coming.
She tried to reason with herself that it might have been caused by all the stress and change of environment but there was a slight doubt inside her mind that it could mean something else. After all, she'd had a plenty of unprotected sex with Tony in the last week and she'd been too caught up in the moment to consider the necessary biological facts that could lead to pregnancy.
Although they'd touched the subject of having kids during their love-making on the yacht, she still wasn't sure about his reaction to the possibility of a child. Talking about it was way different than actually standing in front of the 50 % chance that she could be pregnant. The first one seemed to be in a distant future, the latter one required a bright sense of responsibility.
And honestly, she wasn't sure about her reaction, either. She wanted it all – husband, kids, family... But it would be all so unforeseen, so fast. They would be rushing into the unknown with the speed of light without any securities. She wanted to be prepared or at least anticipate that something like that might come. She was ready to face the reality, anyway, but she would still welcome if she could plan such a thing.
With a huff, she leapt out of the bed and sauntered to the kitchen to fix a coffee for herself and breakfast for both. Her thoughts kept coming and leaving and she had ceased her actions for a couple of seconds to take a few deep breaths. She needed some emotional balance and relieve the stress because the opposite certainly didn't have a good influence on her female clockwork.
There was no need to panic. Every doctor would tell her that one month of a missed period wasn't a disaster and if she was afraid of being pregnant, she should take a test first but also keep in mind that the test wouldn't be most likely conclusive because it was hard to determine pregnancy so soon after having sex. She was sure that there were some alternative methods to find out but she was willing to wait.
For now, she was able to throw it behind her head and focus on more important things at hand, like settling in the apartment and fixing her relationship with people. If her period failed her next month, she would try to do something about it then – for example find a gynaecologist which seemed as a logical step. She could actually try her luck with her old doctor she had come to appreciate and who had been aware of her case history.
In the meantime, Tony splashed his face with water for an umpteenth time so he would avoid his own gaze in the mirror. He felt horrible for brushing her off and leaving for bathroom, instead of picking up on the hints she might be giving him. But he'd bungled so many things in his life that he rather retreated and gave himself a little bit more time to think.
There was something wrong with her for sure. And it must have happened during the night or this morning because she hadn't been like that at all yesterday. He wished to be a mind-reader to delve deeper into her brain and examine it to find out what she was hiding from him. But that was impossible so he had to be self-sufficient with his own findings between the lines of her words.
He would like to know if what she had said about Jimmy could mean a hint from him that she expected him to ask her to marry him and voice his desire to have children with her. Or if it had been just a statement of a truthful fact. And if it had been a hint whether he was supposed to do it right now or if it was an inquiry for their mutual future. Maybe she was testing his willingness to commit.
And if he was supposed to be honest, he had no problems to drop on his knee right at this moment and ask her if she wanted to share her life with him for eternity. He wouldn't hesitate to accept the responsibility coming with fatherhood and establish a family. He didn't care that they would be rushing with a rocket speed towards the great unknown. It felt right because that was what his heart wanted and desired.
There was one big problem, though, a problem that could be hardly overlooked. Considering his trust issues, he would have a hard time to convince her about his pure intentions to join their lives together with an unbreakable bond through marriage and parenthood. She might decline his proposal by accusing him of finding ways to bind her to him forever from the fear that she might leave him again.
That was why he postponed his plans of proposal for now, reasoning that he needed to prove both her and himself that he trusted her again, especially after the scene he had made yesterday. Not to mention to give her time to settle back in D.C. and help her to reform her friendships and give himself time to adjust to his new work position and changes in his life.
Then, he could proceed to crafting the perfect moment to propose and tell her that if she wished to have kids, he was more than ready to participate. It could delay his promotion to be a leader of a his own team but he'd already learnt a hard way that there were more important things than work. And nothing could make him so content in life than to create a little being with the woman he immeasurably loved.
With a proud look on his reflection, he dried his face with a towel and exited the bathroom, finding the bed empty. The sound of TV and her comments under her breath gave him enough clues to ascertain that she was sitting in the living room, glossing the events happening in the world with her characteristic attitude. That brought a huge smile on his face as he chose a suit for the day in his wardrobe.
When he was dressed, he came out of the bedroom with an undone tie around his neck and prepared backpack on his shoulder. She looked over at him with a smile and lifted the plate with a sandwich to him so he could grab it. He immediately took a bite, humming in appreciation because that thing was damn good. Her skills over sandwiches were still as good as he remembered.
She put down the cup of her coffee and went to arrange his tie in an appropriate fashion while he kept swallowing bite after bite. "If I remember correctly, you mentioned that Gibbs should have most of my old stuff in his house." She said as she adjusted the tie knot around his neck.
"Yeah, he should. At least he didn't mention anything about getting rid of it." Tony answered between the chews. "I'll ask to be sure, though."
Ziva stepped away from him and measured him up and down to assess her work and his attire in general. "That would be great. I would love to go through it and throw away everything useless." She announced and stepped back into his embrace because he opened his arms to invite her. "It will take maybe a couple of weeks for my things to arrive so I should have some reserve."
He nodded to agree with her brilliant idea and finished the sandwich so he could use both of his hands to hold her in his arms. "I'll let you know and we'd meet in front of Gibbs house after I'm finished tonight, okay?" He suggested, happy that the previous awkwardness seemed to be gone between them.
She nodded and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him soundly to say goodbye for the day. "Love you." She confessed, feeling way calmer than a couple of minutes ago.
"Love you, too." He replied and gave her one last peck on her cheek before putting his coat on and shutting the door behind him, leaving for work.
An adorable moan came out of the tiny mouth of the fragile beautiful creature that Victoria Elizabeth Palmer was. She stirred in the arms of the woman who was holding her and who couldn't fight back the enormous smile plastered on her face. Victoria recognized that it certainly wasn't her mother or father but she felt secure with the unfamiliar person, anyway. Her parents were near, she knew it.
There weren't enough words for Ziva to describe the feeling of cradling the baby girl in her arms, watching as she closed her eyes and started to breathe evenly. She felt elated and honoured because this frail and vulnerable person whose only way to defend was to start crying, apparently trusted her enough to contently fall asleep. She had never expected to be received so well.
Carefully, she started to rock her in her arms to help her reach even deeper sleep babies needed so much. A Hebrew lullaby came to her mind and she started to sing it softly, yet quietly so only Victoria could hear it. Tony had been right, she was gorgeous and Ziva fell in love with her instantly. Suddenly, her missing period didn't bother her that much because if a result could be so pretty, she was all up for it.
"She senses your calmness." Breena remarked with a smile as she approached her and took back Victoria into her arms.
Ziva smiled at her in response and watched as Breena put Victoria into the cradle, covering her with a blanket. Then she straightened back up, turned on the baby monitor and gestured Ziva to leave the room, closing the door from the baby's room behind them. It was a relief to her that Victoria had finally fallen asleep without any problems or crying scenes. Believe it or not, there was also a downside to being a parent.
Ziva went back to the living room and thanked Jimmy for the cup of tea he had prepared to her while she had been enjoying her time with his daughter. "She is miraculous, Jimmy." She complimented him on his offspring and he appreciated it with a nod. "But what happened with the adoption you guys wanted to do?"
She recalled her admiration when she'd heard that Breena and Jimmy decided to execute such a selfless act and take in a parentless child. Both had a heart on the right place, full of undying and relentless urge to help people in need without wanting anything in return. They were perfect together and it made her really happy. They were undeniable evidence that true love existed.
Breena and Jimmy looked at each other with bitter expressions because remembering the events from almost two years ago was still painful. "We made it to our own birth mother and bonded with her for months. We were so glad she chose us." Jimmy explained to her with a bittersweet smile. Despite the way the whole thing had ended, he was actually grateful for this experience.
"The feeling when the day she was due came and then went into labour was so incredible." He reminisced as Breena squeezed his shoulder for support because she knew that it wasn't easy for him to talk about it. "I was so ready to be a father, to have a son."
His voice broke at the end of the sentence as the emotions took better of him. No one could ever understand how he felt when they'd rushed to the hospital to be there during the delivery, experience it and see the little baby boy, only to be left with a letdown when the birth mother had changed her mind. It'd been even worse because he had comprehended her reasons and couldn't get mad at her under any circumstance.
Yet, returning back to their apartment with everything ready for the newborn baby was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do. The furnished child room with all the necessities had been a painful reminder of a crushed hope and he had asked Breena to remove most of it. Thankfully for him, she had been way stronger than him and had taken care of pretty much everything.
Ziva had the feeling that it hadn't ended up the way they wished for but she knew better than to interfere into the grieving process. She only casted a questioning look at Breena who nodded solemnly to confirm her suspicion. "She decided to keep the baby." Breena informed her and gratefully accepted the comforting hand squeeze from her husband.
"I am so sorry." Ziva expressed her sympathy to the couple she'd witnessed to fall in love. She couldn't imagine the feeling of emptiness they had had to go through.
Both smiled at her with gratitude. "I don't hold it against her. I eventually understood her decision once I gave a birth myself. It's really a feeling second to none." Breena said and took a biscuit from the coffee table. "I actually happen to see her quite often. The boy grows like a weed and she got her happy ending. The father of the boy turned out to be more responsible than she first anticipated."
The situation of their birth mother had been very dismal with the father of the baby refusing to acknowledge anything and she had had no finance to support herself and the baby. Despite the disappointment they had experienced, Breena had been happy to find out that after she had decided to keep the boy, her situation had improved significantly. The father had absolutely melted upon the sight of his son and had decided to establish a family with all the positives and negatives.
"But I don't deny that I was really disillusioned at first." Breena added and finished off the biscuit while taking a sip from her cup of coffee. "I wanted to try again but you know... just the notion of going through all of that again, attach ourselves emotionally to someone and then be left empty-handed... I don't know what would I do if we didn't have each other."
Ziva nodded in response and gulped the lump in her throat. Although Breena was speaking about a boy they had been supposed to adopt, the words she had said could be applied on what Tony had been through while searching for her in Israel. He had gone through hell to find her, he had attached himself to her emotionally and then had been left empty-handed.
She shook off the agonizing guilt, though. One of the reasons why she could sit here and listen to the life hardships of Palmer family was that she had done something right and returned to be with Tony, the love of her life. She should focus on proving her love to him all over again, and not on how much pain he had been through because of her. The positive thinking was the key to a peaceful mind.
"Yeah, that's why I was sceptical about trying it again." Jimmy agreed after planting a loving kiss onto the forehead of his lovely wife. "But an inspirational speech from Gibbs gave me that kick I needed to pull myself together."
Ziva nostalgically nodded her head with a smile, recalling those many inspirational speeches from her former boss. When he wanted to be, he could be very stimulating and was able to give people more confidence, despite choosing hard ways to do so. But that was because he knew that the best things in life didn't come to people easily. One had to earn it, show some effort.
It was one of the reasons why she had been so shocked to hear about his behaviour towards Tony. At first, she'd attributed it to his almost lethal experience but Tony hadn't been kidding. After talking to him face to face, she could ascertain that Gibbs had really changed the way Tony had claimed. The more she was relieved that they had been able to talk it out and find some solution.
"We took some time to recover, of course, but man proposes and God disposes." Jimmy grinned hugely and looked on his wife in adoration. "Suddenly, Breena was pregnant."
He had a huge respect to his significant other to carry their baby for nine months and then taking care of her like if it was nothing, while he kept going mad over the puniest details. She and Victoria had become his treasure, one he would protect at all costs with his own life if he had to. He was so grateful and proud for the family he had around him – both the core and work one.
"Well, maybe that is how it meant to be." Ziva assessed knowingly. Some hardships were difficult to overcome but lessons from them were invaluable. She could tell stories about it. "You created a gorgeous baby girl."
Breena, stroking Jimmy's hair lovingly, beamed at her. "Thank you. But what about you? Is there some chance for a little DiNozzo on the way soon to be a friend to our darling?" She asked her craftily with a playful wink. Jimmy had spilled the beans to her about Tony and Ziva immediately after he had closed the door behind himself yesterday.
At first, Ziva froze in fear that Breena might have noticed her nervousness over the missed period but then she mentally assessed that it was impossible. Breena wasn't a witch doctor or something to know if a woman had period or didn't. It was just a logical outcome of their previous talk and considering the reason why she'd returned, the question had made sense.
"Wow, slow down here. We have been together just for a week." She laughed it off but she had to force the smile in the corners of her mouth. "I am aware that we have known each other for years but it is still a bit too soon to get down to baby business."
Jimmy threw her an apologetic look because it wasn't the first time Breena was pushing the baby issue with his colleagues. She'd already tested the waters with McGee, inquiring him about their readiness with Delilah to start a family, and cornered Bishop to remind her that she'd been married long enough to realize that there were other things in life than just a career and it could actually make her relationship with Jake better.
"I get that, but you already talked about it, right?" Breena wasn't giving up on her desire to forever connect Jimmy's work family with his core one through friendship between two or more offspring from his colleagues. She knew how important his surrogate family was for him.
Ziva shrugged her shoulders leisurely and nodded in agreement. "Yes, we have touched upon the subject but still... I would love to be prepared for it, you know." She confessed and hid her face behind the cup of tea. "I mean, you guys were readying yourselves for it while for us, it would be out of the blue."
She stuck with this opinion she had formed in the morning. The speed with which she had changed her life – again – was incredibly tiring. She needed time to adjust to the new conditions, new way of life, living with a man, new school... Being a mother was something she longed for but she also wanted to have a word in when the right time for it was. And she knew that deep inside, Tony felt it the same.
"We are in a phase of enjoying each other right now. And I want to stay there for some time." She explained further, trying not to give in to the blush creeping into her cheeks. The indescribable feeling of powerful love in her veins, giving her energy to breathe and live, was stronger than her, though.
Breena reached over to her and squeezed her hand understandingly. "No need to rush, of course. This phase you're in is one of the best ones." She assured her with a wink, happy for both her and Tony, just as Jimmy was.
"Yeah, it really is." Ziva agreed dreamily but sobering up quite quickly. "That is why I want to be careful because although we have already talked about it, I am not really sure how serious Tony really is with his preparedness to be a father."
Jimmy and Breena exchanged a meaningful look, one that wasn't accompanied by any words, yet those two knew exactly what the other was thinking. "Oh, he is serious. You can bet on it." Jimmy assured her with a distinct hint of amusement in his voice.
"How do you know that?" Ziva asked him in puzzlement, surprised by the blatant certainty Jimmy wasn't even trying to hide.
He chuckled and pushed his glasses closer to his eyes. "Well, a couple of months ago, we went for a drink together plus McGee because they wanted me to relax after the worries I had over the flu Victoria had suffered." He explained and winced a little bit as the dreadful memories of the fragile body of his daughter being plagued by the atrocious illness came back to him. "And we kind of sank into the conversation about having a family and children."
He described how especially Tim had taken interest in the conversation, revealing his thoughts about the future he and Delilah had in front of them, although he'd still been too reserved about doing the big step forward and propose to her. Tony had been silent most of the time, disgruntled because of another quarrel with Gibbs, muttering under his breath some intelligible words.
Since they'd wanted to lift up his mood, Jimmy and Tim had done their best to include him into the conversation but it'd proven to be a mistake. Tony had bitterly announced that marriage and kids, a family life, had been unattainable to him. He'd confessed about a talk he had had with Zoe about these topics when she'd resolutely determined that she hadn't been bothering with it at all because her career was more important to her.
"Wait a second." Ziva raised her hand up to interrupt him, a pang of hurt harming her heart. "He was planning his future with Zoe and wanted to have kids with her?"
Even though she believed everything Tony had told her about his relationship with Zoe, she couldn't help but feel hurt over the revelation. Not only because it meant that the love of her life had apparently tried to find his happiness somewhere else, but also because it had reminded her that she was one of the reasons of their break-up and destroyed any chance of the potential future plans.
"That's not a way to put it, no." Jimmy immediately rushed to expand his claims, worrying that Ziva could have misunderstood him and Tony would strangle him in that case. "He added that he didn't actually care but he just wondered what was wrong with him, what kind of malfunction he had."
Ziva blinked in confusion and motioned with her hand to urge him to go on. "Zoe didn't show any interest in him beyond being his girlfriend, Wendy left him practically at the altar and you left him, too." Jimmy explained with a pleading glance at his wife to enter into the conversation because he was starting to be lost. "He just mused what it was about him that he couldn't pique enough interest of any woman to connect her life forever with his."
The worst thing on coming back to the United States and encountering old friends was to hear what Tony had been through while she had been away. This had been no exception. He hadn't confided in to her with such thoughts but she attributed it to the fact that once they'd gotten together, it simply hadn't plagued his mind anymore. It didn't make it any easier to hear it, though.
"I did not..." She started to defend herself instinctively in the need to stress that she'd never made any promise to Tony regarding their relationship. The situation between them two and half years ago had been completely different.
"I know, Ziva, and it wasn't meant to sound like a reproach." Jimmy told her and sent her an apologetic smile. "I'm just telling you what Tony was feeling."
He waited for a second before continuing to ensure her consent to do so. He was aware of how uneasy had to be to hear it all. "I think that especially after making peace with Jeanne, the desire to settle down and commit just naturally matured in him. He told me that he realized what is important in life and that he plans to finally do something for it." He explained, grinning widely. He wanted for Tony to be happy but he'd never expected such a wonderful and pleasant turn in his life.
"So, I honestly expected him to break up with Zoe." He admitted and Breena seconded his claim with a couple of nods. "He really wants family and children, so he doesn't want to waste the time anymore with someone who doesn't share his dreams."
Ziva had to take a deep breath to calm down her erratically beating heart. Today was apparently full of surprises – from the realization of her missing period to secret desires of Tony's heart she hadn't been aware of. She knew that he loved her and wanted to be with her but she had never anticipated that he was that far and was already sure about the things he would love to achieve in the future.
"He has not told me anything about it." She said pensively more to herself than to Jimmy and Breena. "I mean, we talked about us, of course. But not into such depth."
Maybe they should have sat down and discuss these important things, instead of focusing on the immediate future and getting back to D.C. But they somehow foresaw and reckoned what the other wanted. That had been clear from the beginning when Tony had offered to her to live with him. She hadn't hesitated to agree. It was a mutual and silent agreement between them that the desire to spend the rest of their lives together also included marriage and children. In due time but nevertheless.
"That's because it's always been you." Breena voiced her opinion with a teasing smile on her face. "Even when his biological clock started ticking loudly and he started to ponder the necessary changes he must do in his life to achieve what he longs for, you were always on his mind. He doesn't have to tell you because everything about him just screams with 'you are the one'."
She pointed her finger at Ziva to stress her words about Tony logically assuming the future development of their relationship and the Israeli woman blushed, smiling shyly. "And I'm positive it's you, Ziva. The other day when he held Victoria in his arms, I couldn't stop myself from telling him how natural he looks and when he becomes a father, he'll surely be the best." Breena told her and avoided masterfully the reproachful glance of her husband.
"He just sadly replied to me that he would love to but having a family is something you should do with the right person." She continued and this time, she gave Jimmy a meaningful look who returned it with undying devotion. "And while I found mine, his right person was unreachable for him. Which meant that there was a special someone for him but he couldn't get hold of her."
During those many moments she had discussed Jimmy's colleagues with him, she had expressed her guess that if Tony felt that way, he would probably resign soon and go search for Ziva to be with her. It was just a matter of time, or matter of him to be so frustrated and pissed with his current situation that it would force him to leave his job. Jimmy unconditionally agreed with her, although he didn't want the team to change again. To lose Ziva had been almost unbearable and he couldn't imagine what the team would look like if Tony quitted, too.
Ziva folded her arms and leaned her back against the armchair she was sitting in. Those two had given her a lot to ponder, not just about the future but also about the past. It was necessary for her to sit down with Tony and talk about the visions and wishes they both had. For the successful relationship, they had to keep off their usual misunderstandings and mindreading games, and the only way how to do it was to be honest and open with each other.
She didn't have any intention to push him to reveal what Jimmy and Breena had just told her. But she didn't want to get tired of this relationship by tiptoeing around each other without communicating what was important to communicate. So, she wanted let him know that whatever he hoped for to be in store in the future for them, she was on the same page with him. And if she had enough courage, maybe even tell him about the missing period.
Tony gave out a sigh of relief when the elevator door closed behind him and he pushed the button to go down to the laboratory. He spent most of his day by having a private talk with Gibbs about accepting his offer about leading a team of his own and then announcing the decision to Vance who looked delighted, albeit pleasantly surprised. It had been simply a very busy day.
For a moment, he pondered whether Gibbs and Vance had intrigued against him in the past because Vance had informed him that one of the senior agents was retiring in six months and none of his subordinates were experienced enough to take over the team. Vance had been preparing for splitting them up and assigning them to other teams but Tony's request had apparently got him out of a tight spot.
He wasn't forcing him to accept this group of people as a future team, Tony still had a free hand to choose whoever he wanted if everyone else agreed, of course. They would just switch the places with the other person. It was a better solution to the whole agency, either way. Gibbs was then allowed to find a new asset to his team and train the base of the new generation.
They all decided to let everyone know about the news tomorrow because Gibbs insisted that Ziva should be present during the promotion announcement – not only as his girlfriend but also as a former member of the team who had helped Tony to improve his skills and therefore had had a giant impact on his career. Astonished Tony had agreed with that suggestion, appreciating Gibbs' thoughtfulness.
Their secretiveness, though, had spiked interest of his two nosy colleagues. They both knew that they couldn't ever get past the wall of silence Gibbs was able to implement, so they had tried to break Tony and coax the desired information from him. Being detectives, they could put two and two together and after seeing Tony, Gibbs and Vance withholding something important for them, they knew that it was something about the team.
They had tried to attack Tony's weakest points but he had been holding out pretty well. Fortunately, they were completely wrong in their guesses – most of them concerned Ziva and her possible return to the agency, despite her stating earlier that she had nothing in plan of such sorts. It had taken a lot of strength to bite his tongue all the time and not to give the information away.
To prevent himself from divulgence of the secret, he had rather decided to take the refuge in the lab and take advantage of the Goth's presence there to talk to her. There was something on his mind, something both McGee and Ziva had brought to his attention about Abby's attitude and since it concerned him, he was the only who could do something about it.
The elevator dinged and the door opened in front of him. Massaging the nape of his neck to relieve the strain in his muscles, he went out and let his ears to adjust to the sound of the music Abby was listening in her lab. Even after all this time, he still had no idea what type of music genre it was and how Abby could work in such an environment but people differed in their tastes and needs so he guessed it was okay to her.
He saw her standing with her back to him, in her typical white lab coat and two pigtails on her head, ardently cleaning some of the laboratory equipment. "How are you today, Abbs?" He asked her loudly enough to be heard over the music sound but quietly enough so he wouldn't startle her.
"Tony!" She exclaimed and whirled around, immediately hanging her arms around him in a tight, friendly hug. "What brings you down here? Some case?"
Tony shook his head and accepted the chair she offered to him in the meantime. "No, not a case." He had to admit that this Christmas had been awfully quiet. No case thrill was involved, they had been just catching up on the paperwork. "It's a personal matter."
Abby's analytical brain immediately assessed which personal matter he had on his mind. Her smile faltered and her lips created a thin, starkly line. "What do you want to talk about then?" She asked him, rather pretending her ignorance than admitting that she knew what the suggested topic was.
"You know that very well, Abby." Tony sighed wearily and looked at her tellingly to sign her to drop whatever act she had decided to play.
She stared at him for a couple of seconds in complete silence, fighting the inner struggle and then she turned sideways from him, typing something on the computer. Tony didn't utter a word and just kept patiently sitting there, waiting. She could try block him out in any way she wished, he wasn't about to give up. He had come down here with a simple goal and he also wanted to easily achieve it.
"I haven't read all the emails, yet." She muttered when she couldn't stand his ingenuous stare any longer.
"What emails?" Tony asked her in return, having no idea what she was referring to.
She looked at him mistrustfully for a second. "You don't know?" She pressed but after he shook his head in puzzlement, she realized that he didn't act his confusion. "She apparently answered all of my emails but she just never hit the send button. She stored them for me on an USB flash so I could read them and understand more what was running through her mind."
She reached behind the white fabric of her lab coat and found the chain around her neck, pulling it out for him to see the USB flash attached to it like a lucky charm. Tony took it into his hands, looking at it in awe, amazed by the smart idea. Despite having the urge to ask Abby to copy the contents for him so he could read it, too, he resisted the temptation. He had known enough and it didn't seem right to poke his nose into a private conversation of his girlfriend and one of his best friends.
"Looks like something Ziva would do." He commented it, recalling the conversation he had had with Ziva in Israel about why she'd never reached out to them, revealing her struggles with overwhelming guilt. When they had been packing her stuff, he'd found some of the postcards she had mentioned she wrote. He'd managed to convince her to keep them as a reminder of what had once been and didn't have to be anymore.
"I'm not giving her any response until I'm finished with reading them." She announced, rattling with the chain as she put it back beneath her lab coat. "And even then I will consider if I actually want to talk to her."
Tony nodded understandingly, clasping his hands in front of him in a gesture that he wasn't entirely finished yet. "I'm not here to plead with you for her. I absolutely recognize your right to be mad at her for yourself." He said and looked at her meaningfully.
"But?" She asked, sensing that the particular word was coming.
He took her by her hands to ensure her full attention. "Abby, I know you care about me and I really appreciate it. I'm so grateful for your urge to protect me, especially from myself because it's saved me a lot of troubles." He told her, looking insistently into her eyes. "But I don't want you to be mad at Ziva for me."
He completely understood that a large part of Abby's anger towards Ziva was based on her past treatment towards him. Abby loved Ziva as her friend but she had resented many times the way Ziva had been able to put him down, including the way she had left him heartbroken. It was no wonder then that she was now refusing to be friendly when she rightfully suspected that it might happen again. But for the sake of good relationships among all, it had to stop.
"After everything she had done to you?" Abby wondered angrily, yanking her hands away. He was being reckless, as always when it came to Ziva. "Who is gonna protect your heart when you're acting so carelessly?"
"Me." He deadpanned in all seriousness. "I'm taking full responsibility for my heart. If it gets broken, then it's my problem and not yours."
She folded her arms around her body and stared at him silently for a couple of eternal seconds. "So you trust her then?" She asked him calmly to give her the confirmation of his certainty.
He couldn't help but squirm because he so much wanted to show her his sureness but everything in his body was still doubtful. "No, not entirely. But I have to, I need to learn how." He admitted hesitantly. "It's what she deserves and it won't help if someone still keeps reminding me to be careful because of what she's done before."
He had solemnly promised to her yesterday that he would start working on his trust towards her again. That he would be the confident rock she needed by her side. And he wasn't about to abandon this plan. Abby's care really was appreciated but he couldn't constantly live in eternal doubts she would serve him one after the other. He had to forget about the past, forgive and move on.
"I love her, Abby. And she loves me." He pointed out the obvious fact to convince his friend to be so worried for him.
Abby sighed in resignation and reached for the Israeli flag she had brought down there from Ziva's belongings. "I know. She told me that not long before she left." She said while playing with the flag between her fingers thoughtfully, pondering whether to stop meddling into their relationship or not. "She also listed all the reasons why it could never work between you two. Just loving you wasn't apparently enough."
"That was back then. Now she sees it can work." Tony countered patiently, imploring her with his eyes to believe Ziva's sincerity and good intentions. "Actually, since we've met she's proving to me how much she has changed and since we've been together she's showing me how much I mean to her."
They were all in such an awe that she'd come back that no one really considered the sacrifice she had had to make in order to be with him. He was aware of it, though, and that was why he insisted on giving Ziva the chance to prove them that she had no intention of leaving him. She had left everything she'd gained for him and moved elsewhere to start over without a single shadow of a doubt. And that deserved an appropriate recognition.
She looked him up and down to assess his confidence and mental state. She noticed the inerasable wrinkles of torment that had etched into his face over the time, but she had to admit that he looked contended and happy, more than she'd ever seen him. And she genuinely wanted him to feel that way, just as she wanted the same for Ziva. She just wished she could protect them both from everything bad, even themselves from time to time.
"Okay." She agreed eventually and returned the Israeli flag back on its place. "I'll try."
He immediately hugged her tightly in joy. "Thank you." He whispered gratefully as he planted a friendly kiss on the top of her head to emphasize his thankfulness.
She patted his back soothingly and hoped that she wasn't doing a mistake. But she knew that if he was in a need of help, she would go and help him anyway. That was what good friends were for. But she sincerely hoped that it wouldn't be needed. He'd been through enough bad and exhausting things, he deserved his share of happiness just like everyone else.
He let go of her and smiled at her for the last time, thanking her again and turning on his heel to leave, but then he suddenly stopped himself. "Oh and Abby, you might still be mad at her for yourself but at least admit that you still deeply care about her. There's no way you can deny that." He told her knowingly and she just gaped at him in shock.
He pointed his finger on her chest and smiled. "You put the USB flash on a necklace and you wear it around your neck. And that's a sign that it means something to you." He clarified in amused tone because it was a rare occurrence to render Abby speechless. "Just get over that anger inside you. It's better than to throw away a long-lasting friendship, especially when the apology is sincere."
He winked at her and disappeared around the corner, taking the elevator back up and ready to deflect all McGee's and Ellie's attempts to make him talk. Abby subconsciously reached her hand beneath her lab coat to grasp the USB flash and squeeze it, still paralyzed from the shock she had experienced after he had read her like a book. Maybe it was the time to stop being hurt and finally forgive.
She didn't want to drive Ziva away and lose her one more time. After all, she'd been one of her dearest friends. And friends were here to care about each other and share their toughest problems, as well as joys of life. And she had to admit that by giving her the USB flash with all the email answers, she had a very profound insight into Ziva's head which was something only a few privileged people could reach.
But her departure still hurt and she knew that it would hurt for a long time. She was willing to try, though, to suppress it and give Ziva the chance she was asking for. After all, if Tony had forgiven her and had managed to get her back, then Ziva really must have changed for better and she then really deserved another opportunity. And she earnestly missed her friend very much.
The End of Chapter 28
Oh well... I know this chapter is a little bit dull. I just needed to fill in the moments to establish something that is coming in the future and if I want it to make sense, I just had to write this. I promise the next chapter is better!
I hope that you enjoyed reading this at least a little bit. Thank you all so much for your loyalty and favour, I hope you're going to have wonderful vacation and summer in general and see you next time!
