His voice alone turns me on.

"Moony!" Sirius exclaimed as soon as I entered the door to his room. He jumped up from his bed and dragged me toward it again. "Look. It´s so pretty! I love it" Sirius gestured to the duvet.

The one half was red with golden flowers -or snowflakes- all over, big and small, the other half was golden with red flowers. It lit the whole room up and made it feel less empty. Still, his smile was shining more than anything else.

"I´m glad you do" I replied honestly with a smile equal to the one on his perfect lips.

"I almost can´t wait to go to sleep tonight" he grinned. "It´s so soft, try to feel it" Sirius took a part of the duvet and lifted it towards me.

I stroked it. "It is soft" suddenly I didn´t know what to do with my hands. I´m not used to Sirius being this happy and overly excited, but I really like it.

He sat cross-legged on the bed and I sat down next to him resisting the urge to move closer and maybe wrap my arms around him. Neither of us said anything at first, yet it was a comfortable silence. I´m happy that Sirius and I are so close that it doesn´t get awkward between us.

"Do you wanna see a film?" Sirius then asked after a couple of minutes. I wonder if he has been thinking about it for a while or just came up with it. If he tried to gather courage to ask. He didn´t seem nervous.

"Yeah. What film?"

"It´s not before tomorrow" Sirius quickly said, he smiled. "We can see it on Angeline´s computer, it has a place for DVDs, and she can make popcorn for us" he suggested, and it sounded like they had already been talking about it.

"Sounds good, but what film will we see then?" I asked. Honestly, I don´t really want to see a film, that way I wouldn´t be able to talk with Sirius and won´t be able to look at him. Two of my favourite things.

"Can you pick one?" he asked cutely.

"Yeah, of course. Do you wanna know my ideas or wanna be surprised?"

"Surprise me" Sirius exclaimed excitedly.

"Hey gu-uuuuuy-s" it was a strange view. I had been stressed over the fact that I had to choose a film for Sirius. I hadn´t really thought of asking them before for whatever reason, but when it had occurred to me, I just had to talk with my friends.

I know that James and Lily have been on a date and that they kissed, though I don´t think anything could have prepared me for what happened here. James and Lily were sitting next to each other, almost on only one chair and James had his arms around her. He looked like the happiest man on earth and she didn´t look like someone who wanted to be somewhere else, actually, it looked like she belonged right next to him.

"What´s up Remus," James asked casually and ignored my shocked expression. This hasn´t happened before… has it? No, it hasn´t...

"Uhh…"

"Oh right. I got a hair-cut yesterday" James ran the hand he wasn´t holding around Lily through his hair. When my expression was still shocked, he laughed. "And I´m dating Lily."

"Really? I didn´t notice" I said sarcastically and sat down next to Peter. "Since when?"

"Yesterday," Lily told happily. I used to be really good friends with her in our earlier years, but we don´t talk so much anymore. I kinda miss her, but if she is with James then maybe we can all hang out more.

"But what´s up with you Remus, you look like someone who has something important to ask" Peter quipped.

I was blank a moment before I remembered. "Si… Padfoot wants me to choose a film for us to see today, and I can´t pick one" I pouted. What kind of film does he even like? What if I choose one, he hates?

"Who is Padfoot?" Lily asked with a frown.

"New guy" Peter explained and her mouth formed a little 'o'.

"What kind of film are you looking for?" James asked casually as if Lily this close to him didn´t make his heart beat like crazy.

I blushed. Can I say this around Lily? "One you can kiss to" I mumbled just a little bit ashamed and blushed harder when the others and Lily started laughing.

"Singin In The Rain" James suggested without thinking too much about it. "Dad showed it to mom the night they got their first kiss."

Peter rolled his eyes. "They are also ancient" he joked. "You should pick a scary-film, then he can really cuddle with you while you protect him" Peter hugged himself as a demonstration. I laughed even though it was a good idea, I like the idea of Sirius cuddling with me for comfort, yet I don´t think it´s it, he doesn´t strike me as a guy who likes scary films.

"You should take Grease" Lily suggested. "It´s a classic, everyone loves that movie and the last scene is perfect for kissing" I blushed just a tiny bit more.

James used both his arms to pull Lily closer and she let him. "It sounds like you know a lot about this" he mumbled to her neck.

Lily laughed a perfect laugh. "I had actually planned that we should see this movie on Saturday" James´ face turned red, he mumbled something only Lily could hear, and she laughed again.

"Can I borrow it? I think I have just enough time to get it before I´m going to meet him" I asked before they might start snogging. Or else I just wanted it to end.

If I have to be completely honest with myself I´m jealous. They have something beautiful and I want the same thing with Sirius, though I can´t no matter what. Even if he wanted to be with me, we would never be able to be so open about it in public. Sirius wouldn´t want that after what happened. And even though we decided to be open about it, people would be sending us disgusted looks while they send warm looks towards James and Lily.

I try to not be mad at them. It´s not their fault that there are shitty people on earth.

"Yeah, of course," Lily smiled. I don´t think I have ever seen her this happy.

I walked with Lily towards her flat. It was extremely cold, and I was happy about my decision to always wear a jumper, gloves and scarf. A thought had been nagging me all day. Lily hadn´t asked any questions at all when I told I wanted to kiss Sirius. Does everyone know I´m gay? Or did James just tell Lily?

"How did you know that I´m gay?" I asked casually and tried not to shake.

"I didn´t."

"You didn´t? Then why did you take it so casually?" I asked confused yet was also happy. The whole school didn´t know and I really don´t know how they feel about it. Sometimes it can be really scary.

"Marlene McKinnon is bi, and she told me that it´s annoying every time people get surprised over her being LGBT so I have been trying to talk about it without making a big deal out of it. You aren´t the first person to be happily-surprised because of it" she flashed me a platonic smile.

"You are a really cool person" I blurted out. The world really needs more people like her.

Lily laughed. "I try."

She is one of those people who doesn´t live with her parents, so naturally, her flat is very small. I also think her parents live far from the school which might be the reason. I wonder what it would be like to have Sirius as a roommate.

There was a little television in the corner of the room in front of the bed that also functioned as a couch. Next, to it there was a little cupboard, Lily headed towards it and I saw it was filled with DVDs. She quickly found the one with Grease, Singin In The Rain, a scary film I have never seen before and handed it to me.

"Just so you have a few to choose from" she explained. I thanked her, put the films in my bag and prepared to leave.

"Good luck" she quickly said before I closed the door.

"Thanks" I´m probably gonna need it.

I sure hope this works.

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