Chapter 27: Nothing is perpetual


~"To say goodbye is to die a little" - Raymond Chandler~


Darkness surrounded me like a thick black fog. I couldn't see anything or anyone around me. The weirder thing was that I was a part of the darkness. My entire body was black, shivering and cascading in waves as if it was sewn with black water.

"Bella,"

I blinked rapidly and focused at the source of the familiar velvety rich voice. The fog disappeared at once and Edward made his way to me.

My body warmed and my heart filled with love at the sight of him. However, I froze in confusion when I saw his attire. Black old-fashioned coat, white silk shirt and shiny black trouser. Those were the exact clothes he had on the first day we met near the Eternal cemetery.

"What are you thinking so hard, love?" Edward questioned as he fondly cupped my cheek in his hand.

"Why are you dressed like that?" I asked confused.

He sighed, his sweet breath washing over me. "I'm leaving."

"You're leaving?" My voice sounded tiny.

"Yes," he nodded grimly. "She's coming to take me."

"Who?" I touched his cold cheek. His eyebrows pulled in and he stared hard at me.

"You know her." He replied vaguely. The black fog started appearing again, pawing at Edward's feet now.

"No, I don't." I urgently gripped his hand to bring his attention back to me.

"It won't be long now." Edward frowned at something -or someone- in the distance.

"You're leaving right now?" My eyes widened as my insides turned into lead.

"Mmm hmm."

"Edward!" I snapped at him. "What is wrong with you?"

"What?" He murmured sluggishly, his eyes drooping.

"You're acting weird. Snap out of it!" I shook his shoulder.

"I..."

"Are you okay?" I grabbed his hand and flinched. It was freezing cold.

"Tried to..."

His eyes completely closed and he collapsed in a dead faint. I kneeled down and placed his head on my lap. Cupping his head in my hand, I found it hard to look at him through my tears.

"Edward, can you hear me? Tell me, what is happening? Is this a nightmare?"

No response.

"Tell me what's wrong. Please don't leave me...please. Edward! Edward!"

The darkness swallowed Edward fully.

"Bella...Bella. Wake up...wake up now." Someone whispered softly in my ear.

With a gasp, my eyes flew open and slowly adjusted to the darkness in the room.

"It's just a dream, love. Calm down." The same voice crooned and a warm hand touched my forehead lightly.

Edward's exquisite face was just inches from mine. His green eyes -almost black in the dark- flickered with concern and worry.

"Oh, thank God!" I threw my arm around his neck.

He let out a surprised "whoah" and rubbed my back soothingly. "What were you dreaming?"

The past night events flooded in my mind and I relaxed in his arms. I remembered our fight last evening, how I had let him inside my room during the night and I clearly remembered how I had begged him to stay and how I fell asleep in his warm chest.

"It was not a dream," I sighed. "Oh, Edward, it was a nightmare. Horrible nightmare!"

"Alright. What was the horrible nightmare about?" He emphasized on 'horrible' like I had done, curiosity lacing his voice.

The light from the alarm clock cast a red shadow across his face and I noticed it was only 4:54 in the morning.

"About horror, of course! I don't even want to talk about it. I hope I forget it in the morning." I mumbled to his chest.

"Come one, sweet Bella," he coaxed softly, "won't you tell me?"

"It's not going to work." I smiled in spite of myself.

He shifted our positions so that I was pinned underneath him on the bed and he hovered above me.

"Still not going to work." My eyes widened. I knew he was keen on distracting me from the nightmare than seeking the answer from me. He was selfless.

To have him on top of me, that was the dream I had been dreaming ever since I met Edward and it was finally coming true.

He pushed the hair from my shoulder and pressed a light kiss on my bare neck. My whole body shivered and I felt Edward's lip curl on my skin.

"Not even now?" He murmured his voice seductive.

"No." I managed to choke out. I didn't know whether he was doing it intentionally or not.

Then his hands were all over my body. His lips kissed down my collarbone, leaving a scorching trail behind. One of his hands gripped my tank top tightly and his other hand traced the shape of my hip.

I moaned breathily and clutched his arm. I looked down at our legs, entwined on top of my purple comforter and shivered again. His hand left my hip to cup my face and he brought his lips to mine hungrily.

The kiss was different. Somehow, it was not restrained and it wasn't that soft. I loved it. I loved him.

"Oh, Bella," he sighed against my lips. "What am I going to do with you?"

He knew. He knew that my nightmare was about him.

I wound my arms around his torso and pulled him down. He reluctantly let all of his weight rest on top of me and he buried his face in my neck. The feeling of his entire body pressed on mine was simply exquisite.

"How?" I whispered to the back of his neck.

"You called my name several times and then started crying. It was devastating, Bella. You sounded so broken." He sounded broken to me.

"Don't leave me, Edward." I repeated and tightened my arms around him.

"I don't want to. You are fully aware that I don't have a say in this." Edward kissed my neck again. "I love you so much, Bella."

We stayed like that for some more time and when the alarm clock read 5:10, Edward hesitantly got up. We both sneaked down the stairs and after making sure that my parents were still asleep; I opened the main door and let him out.

Outside it was still dark and deathly quiet.

"See you at school." He waved with a small smile and left for his car.


"Since when did Edward become goody-goody shoes?"

Sasha raised an eyebrow expectantly at me and nodded towards the doorway of Biology classroom where Edward was leaning against the doorframe casually. Mr Banner stood next to him. Edward suddenly laughed and Mr Banner gave his rare smile.

"He's probably laughing at Mr Banner, not at his joke." I replied drily and slammed shut my locker.

Sasha giggled and slapped her school tote on my shoulder. My eyes flickered to Edward again and he gave me a heart-stopping grin.

"...I'm thinking of wearing the new pink dress I saw on eBay the other day. What about you?" I caught what Sasha was talking only in the middle.

"Dress? For what?" I asked confused.

"Uh, for the Valentine's Day dance, of course! Damn girl, what's gotten into you?" She frowned in concern.

"Yeah, yeah, I was just fooling you." I lied and rubbed my arm nervously. I had been so absorbed in Edward that I had forgotten all about Valentine's Day, which was this Thursday.

"Looks like it." She muttered under breath. Sasha could be observant when she wanted to be.

She opened the door of the cafeteria and I let myself in first. We took our seats in our usual table and soon the others joined us.

"Do you guys mind if I sit here?" Alice appeared next, holding a small tray of vegetables.

"Not at all." Heidi grinned warmly at her.

"Where's Prince Charming?" Jane poked my face with her carrot stick. Alice giggled at my pink face.

"Speak of the devil." Alec winked at me.

Edward stole a chair from the table next to us and sat next to me. Sasha rolled her eyes and dragged her chair to the right to give him space.

"Hey, love." Edward leaned in and kissed my cheek.

"Missed me?" I batted my eyelashes at him. We didn't have any of the morning classes together today and I wasn't able to get a look at him until now.

"A little." He picked up his bagel and took a small bite from it.

I faux-glared at him and dipped the plastic spoon inside my yogurt. He smirked at me and playfully ruffled the base of my hair. After few minutes, I reluctantly turned my attention to the others.

"I'm going with Felix." Jane chirped happily. I slumped in my seat when I realized they were talking about the dance.

"Lucky Bella," Alice clucked her tongue. "Already has a date."

I shot her a saucy grin and relaxed into Edward's arm, which was around me.

"Actually, Alice, I don't know if I'm going." I admitted.

"Why not?" Alice's eyes were wide with horror.

"I...I'm thinking about spending the day with Edward. Somewhere alone." I shrugged and Edward silently raised his eyebrow at me.

"Stay for an hour, Bella. And then you both can go and be...somewhere alone." Heidi winked suggestively.

Everyone laughed, including Edward. Even Alec was in good mood.

"Are you going with Randall?" I diverted the attention back to a safer subject. Edward and I could do some interesting things when we were alone.

Heidi scowled at her tray. Oops. "We haven't spoken in a long time."

Alec immediately started talking about the gay-y Velcro suit his mom was forcing him to wear to the dance and everyone looked relieved.

"I feel like crap. I shouldn't have brought that up." I buried my face into my hands.

"Randall isn't in a good place right now. Neither are Rosalie and Emmett. I wouldn't blame Heidi." Edward said reassuringly.

"But...you don't ignore me like Randall is ignoring Heidi. You let me stay with you. I know that you want me to stay with you." I whispered, almost tearing up.

Geez, I had the hormones of a pregnant woman.

"That's because I love you." He kissed my forehead and squeezed my hand.

"Awww." Alice and Jane cooed at the same time.

"Were you guys listening the whole time?" I squealed and threw a slice of tomato at them.


Edward opened the door of his Volvo for me and I got inside after thanking him.

"So...mom, I mean, Esme wants to have you for dinner tonight." Edward ran a hand through his hair.

My eyes widened and I shrank down in my seat.

"Your mom wants to have me for dinner? That's morbid, Edward!" I tried to hide my nervousness.

"Bella!" Edward exclaimed with a hearty laugh. "That came out wrong. Esme wanted me to invite you for dinner tonight at our house. Will you come, mademoiselle?"

"I graciously accept the offer, monsieur." I burst out laughing and he tickled my side with his free hand.

"When will you pick me up?" I asked.

"Let's go now." He said eagerly.

My heartbeat increased and I began to sweat. The official-dinner-with-the-boyfriend's-parents mania was getting to me.

"Now? But...but I have to tell my parents. I should change from my school clothes and..."

"We'll stop on the way." Edward cut in.

We did as Edward suggested and mom invited him in. While I bathed quickly and changed into fresh clothes, mom entertained Edward with photos of my childhood. Good and cute ones, I hoped.

I shoved the cell in my coat pocket and bounded down the stairs.

"I'm ready." I announced.

Edward looked up from the album he was going through and grinned mischievously at me. He picked up a photo and waved it at me.

"God, mom," I snatched it from his hand. "What are you showing him?"

Mom laughed. "You look adorable without wearing anything."

"Ha ha, funny." I pulled Edward up from the couch.

I bid 'bye to her and Edward drove me to his house, which was unnecessary since he lived three houses away. He parked the car in their driveway and helped me out with an excited grin plastered on his handsome face.

Rosalie opened the door and smiled slightly when she saw me.

"Welcome back, Bella." She greeted me in her beautiful soprano voice.

I laughed when Edward pulled a strand of her golden hair and she swatted at him, like he was an annoying fly she wanted to get rid of. Esme was on the couch, watching TV when we entered and stood up quickly.

"Bella! I'm so glad you came." Esme kissed both of my cheeks in greeting and hugged me.

"Mom, you're crushing her!" Randall called out as he came down the stairs.

"Hardly, darling. Carlisle will be home soon. I told him we were expecting a lovely guest for dinner." Esme smiled warmly at me.

Her amber eyes were swirling with excitement and something else too…something I couldn't recognize. Edward took me to his room and we lounged on his extra comfy bed, talking about anything and everything.

We avoided discussing his depressing departure and decided to stay in denial instead. Edward showed me the huge leather bound books Carlisle had given to him, which spoke about the World War II.

"I can't believe I didn't live to witness all these events." Edward shook his head in disgust.

I rolled my eyes and rested my head on my palm. "You're such a guy."

Carlisle came around eight as promised from the hospital. I sat in the middle of Edward and Rosalie in the dining table and immediately regretted it. Edward kept on "accidently" bumping his denim-covered leg against my bare leg.

I decided never to wear a skirt when Edward was present.

Emmett joined us and took the chair on the other side of Rosalie. Even though the food was ah-mazing and Carlisle made charming jokes about his day in the hospital, we mostly ate in silence.

I wondered how they all felt, with their death dates looming just ahead of them. Apparently, Rosalie didn't like to suffer in silence.

She pushed the plate away and set the silver fork down. "I'm not hungry. Can I be excused?"

"Rose..." Emmett said, looking sad.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I really wanted to spend time with you but I can barely make it through these days without thinking about the horrible day when I will breathe my last." Her round blue eyes glittered.

"Rosalie." Carlisle prompted gently.

"That same day, Edward will breathe his last too." Rosalie fixed me with her haunting stare.

"Rosalie." Edward snapped harshly, his eyes glaring at her to stop.

"Will you please stop worrying about it and finish your meal?" Esme pleaded, delicately.

The atmosphere was suffocating now. There was too much pain, hurt, denial and frustration.

"Bella, let's leave." Edward set his fork down and took my hand with an apologizing look.

"How? How can you expect me -us- to do that? How can we stop worrying? How can we continue to survive when we have the knowledge of our own death?" Rosalie's voice was tiny and her lips quivered.

"Because we did. Period." Esme blurted.

What. The. hell.


Hey guys,

What do y'all think? Some major stuff is going to be relieved in the next chap. But I think the update will take a while. Sorry.

Tell me what you think.

-BEJL