I hope y'all aren't gettin' sick of this fluff. If you're smart, though, you'll see right through me :) Within this chapter I hit 25k in NaNoWriMo... I think... but right now I have just over 23k left to write in 8 days. Wish me luck!
Tania
Later that night, it was much harder to get to sleep than it had been before for some reason. I had stayed up with Jasper, talking and explaining in more detail what my mother and I had talked about at the hospital. He seemed to steer clear of the topic of the female vampire, and I was grateful. Although I was tremendously glad he was back from hunting, I still had trouble sleeping. Perhaps it was the darkness of the night, but I had no clue if that played a part.
After an hour of restlessness and trying to get comfortable, however being unable, I finally said "This sucks." I rolled over onto my back. "You were right, before. I take back what I said, Jasper, I don't want to feel like this anymore." I pressed my palms to my eye lids, tired and frustrated.
"Are you sure, Tania?" he asked.
I turned over to face him and he slid a hand onto my waist. "Yeah, I'm sure." I whispered.
And then I felt the frustration somehow melt away as well as all the stupid awful feelings of pain so breathing became easier, especially since I'd felt the lump in my throat come back before. All of my muscles relaxed and I wondered why I had been so stubborn before. Jasper's gift was like a drug, and yet at the same time it felt completely natural.
When I woke up, it was light outside. The grey sky showed through the pinprick gaps in the material of the curtains into the room. It was still raining, as I heard the drips against the glass.
"Mornin'." I heard Jasper say, next to me.
"That could get addictive." I exclaimed, facing him. "I haven't slept like that since… I don't think I've ever slept like that."
He smiled uncomfortably. "Um, yeah, about that," Jasper paused, cautiously. "You remember that night, a few months ago…"
I stared at him, taking a second to remember. "The night you attacked me?"
He had been nervous about saying it bluntly before. "Yeah, that one. Well… I felt kinda bad about what I did, and even worse when I saw you awake through the window so I may have-,"
I cut him off. "You followed me to my house before we even officially met properly and practically drugged me because you felt bad for almost eating me?"
He swallowed, trying to grin apologetically. "Well when you put it like that-,"
"That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard." I interjected him again. "But it's sweet I suppose, so you are forgiven." I smiled, closing my eyes for a moment. "Thank you for telling me."
My eyes opened quickly as I suddenly remembered something.
"What is it?" Jasper, asked, looking slightly anxious.
"Your ipod was in the fire. I'm sorry."
"Darlin'," he said, exasperated. "I don't care about that. Really."
I exhaled. "No, yeah, of course."
He squeezed my hand and we lay there for a while until I sat up. "I hate to be boring, but I have work to do. Can I borrow your laptop?"
Going through all the emails from my teachers didn't take too long, but the problem was I didn't have any of the work I'd already done that year. Although, thankfully they'd send me the stuff they'd already done with messages telling me it would be a good idea to copy someone's notes from each class. Drama was the only thing I was worried about since I had missed many rehearsals before and along with a mixture of exercises and techniques the class had been learning about, Mr Gates had been hoping for our group to perform before Christmas, however due to recent events he would let us have an extension if necessary. Rosalie awkwardly lent me her folder of perfect English notes which looked like they belonged in a text book, and I was grateful that the only essay I had to do was for Drama and I couldn't do that without going to Drama first.
Jasper and I went for a walk after he'd found me sticking my head out the window trying to get some fresh air as I had a headache. I loved the smell of the rain hitting the pavement. The worst had been that morning, and over the day the sky had cleared up, although still covered the sun with grey clouds. We walked up the small hill to the town, stopping at one of the shops since I needed stationary for school. What I needed most was really a phone, and my mother needed one too but I couldn't afford that. Perhaps my pot of pound coins could be salvageable from the fire, however it wouldn't be weeks until we'd be allowed to see if we could retrieve anything from the house for safety. Luckily, the walk to the town happened to be in another direction than the house.
On the way back, I reminded Jasper I still wanted to visit my dad the next day, and I could tell he didn't think it was a good idea, but nevertheless replied that he'd promised me he'd go with me, so he would.
The following morning I waited for Jasper in the car. He'd explained he needed to sort out a couple of things and would only be a few minutes, although I was slightly suspicious he had gotten into an argument with someone over whether I should be able to go, and of course, when Jasper came back Edward was close on his tail, quarrelling even loud enough for me to hear.
"It's not safe for her to be so far away with just one of us." He tried to reason. "The possibility of something happening just because of this is ridiculous.
"Then you're welcome to come with us." Jasper replied. "Edward, I'm not happy about it either…"
"So why are you going to risk so much?" Edward cut in.
Maybe I was being stupid and selfish, I thought as my pulse quickened out of my control. I wanted to go, but Edward was right. I was risking a lot just to visit my dead father on his birthday. I regretted even bringing back up the idea in the first place.
I had been about to get out and tell Jasper it wasn't worth it when suddenly the door opened and Alice got in the back. "Hey!" she greeted, cheerfully.
"Alice?" I questioned, confused.
"Oh don't worry," she said, reassuringly. "Edward's overreacting. She's decided to lay low for a while so she won't be doing anything today except hunt. Besides, you won't be anywhere near here and she won't even notice you're gone. It was probably more dangerous for you to be out yesterday." Alice beamed, patting my arm. "By the way, I've come to keep you guys company."
I nodded slowly, realising it was probably for the best that she came with us, just in case.
Edward and Jasper finally finished their argument and Edward stormed off with a growl.
"Are you ok?" I asked as Jasper got in the car.
He glanced at me. "Yeah, I'm fine." And then he turned to Alice. "Alice are you-,"
"Yes, I am really coming, seeing as this is my car." She interrupted.
He nodded. "Fair enough."
I didn't feel so great on the way there. Before, I'd imagined getting the train like I normally would have, since the cemetery was near the station and it was the quickest way to get there. However, a vampire driving the car made it considerably different and so the drive barely took an hour and a half.
Alice tried to start up a few conversations, but I kept quiet and noticeably so, since Jasper kept looking my way. At least the weather had changed and it wasn't raining.
Finally we got to the village and I gave the directions, feeling some sort of knot in my stomach. The privately owned florist across the street was still there, so with the change Carlisle had let me have in my pocket, I crossed the road, clinging to Jasper's hand while Alice waited for us.
The bell above the door gave off the familiar ring as we entered, causing the woman at the desk to look up from her knitting magazine. "Ah, it's that time of year again. Good morning, Tania, dear." She greeted, with a soft, sympathetic smile. "I still remember." She then disappeared through the archway with strings of beats floating down.
"She knows you?" Jasper asked me.
"She was friends with my dad." I replied.
The woman, Penny, came back with a bunch of red and yellow tulips. I fished in my pocket for the change and handed her the exact amount. "You are your mother are well?" she asked.
I hesitated for a split second, unsure as to whether I should tell her about everything, but decided against it. "Yes, thank you. And you?"
"Very well, sweetie, my grandson just got married." Penny grinned, happily. "Who's your friend?"
"Congratulations." I said, before turning my head to gaze up at Jasper.
"Jasper, ma'am." He answered her.
"American!" Penny cried, shocked. "I hope your mother knows about this." She winked.
I tried not to laugh, taking the flowers and beginning to leave.
"Goodbye, sweetie…" she paused. "Jasper."
Outside I started to giggle. "Sorry, I probably should have warned you about Penny." I apologised.
"No worries." He replied, doing his cute side smile.
Alice joined us as we crossed the road back towards the gates of the cemetery. "Nice flowers." She commented.
We passed rows and rows of graves, old and new, some covered completely in foliage, others broken from vandalism. A hundred angel statues watched us as we made our way to my father's headstone in the middle of the graveyard littered with rock.
"You never told me your father's name was Alex." Jasper exclaimed once the three of us were standing in front of the grave.
"Well now you know."
I laid the flowers next to the headstone bearing my father's name and stood back, still with my fingers intertwined with Jasper's. For a while we stood there and I sighed, listening to the sounds of the birds chirping and the noise of an occasional car going past on the road back by the gates.
"It's like a hole, isn't it?" Alice mused aloud.
I hummed quietly in agreement. People didn't just leave. They left behind a gap in everyone else's lives, that seemed to be unable to be filled, by anything. There was simply a void in which he'd left behind. A void, and a small cat shaped hole.
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