For disclaimer and general summary, please see chapter 1.

A/N: My thanks go once again to Doni and dancngurl153 for their constant contributions, your reviews keep me going :)

Umm, really not a whole lot to say again, so I'll just let you get on and read it :D


Chapter 28

"Hello Spike"

"'Ello Rupert" Spike replied.

Giles shifted uncomfortably for a second then cleared his throat. "Is, is Buffy inside?"

Spike nodded and opened the door again, stepped through it and held it open for Giles. The watcher walked past, carrying his one small case and avoiding the vampire's eyes as he entered the living room. Spike watched him curiously for a moment.

"'Ll go get 'er then" he said, feeling awkward. He turned and made his way upstairs. Spike didn't see Giles clench his fists as he turned or the hard edge that entered his eyes.

"Buffy?" he called quietly and pushed her bedroom door open fractionally so he could peer through. If she was asleep he wouldn't wake her.

Buffy had changed and let her hair down, but hadn't gotten as far as her bed yet. She smiled and went to the door, opening it fully. She stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind her with a soft click. She wrapped her arms around Spike's waist and leaned into him. She looked up and frowned when she saw the serious and slightly worried look on Spike's face.

"What's wrong?" she asked, keeping her voice quiet so she didn't wake the others.

"Nothin's wrong, kitten, but... your watcher's downstairs"

Buffy's eyes grew wide and her lips parted in shock. She shook her head and blinked. "He's here? Now?"

Spike nodded. "He's waitin' in the livin' room 'n' asked to speak to you"

Buffy shrugged and walked past him to the stairs, grasping his hand on the way and tugging him with her. She paused when she felt resistance and glanced back questioningly to Spike.

"Got the feelin' he jus' wants to talk to you, luv" he smiled and kissed her on the forehead. She looked a little uncertain, so he turned her around and gave her a little push. "Go on, kitten, 'll be waitin' here" he said, pointing to her door when she looked back.

Buffy smiled and nodded, kissing him gently. "Not that 'm complainin', but wha' was that for?" he asked.

"Does a girl need a reason to kiss her boyfriend?" she retorted with a grin. Spike smiled and leaned his head against hers.

"I know you think Giles is here to stop me from seeing you, but he's okay with it. Even if he wasn't, I'd choose you" she told him. He smiled again and nodded. He knew it was stupid, and he'd promised not to be insecure, but this was the biggest test of their relationship so far.

"Everything's gonna be okay, alright?" she asked, catching his eyes again.

"Yeah, kitten. Now get goin', I'll be waitin'" he said. He brushed a strand of hair away from her face and slipped silently into her room.

Buffy smiled and sighed, turning back to the stairs. Grinning at the thought of seeing Giles again, she quickly jogged down the stairs, light on her feet, mindful of those that were sleeping.


Giles turned at the sound of soft footfalls on the stairs and saw Buffy standing at the bottom of them, smiling. Buffy only paused for a second before she ran forwards and hugged her watcher.

"Giles, you're back! I missed you" she said, burying her face against the familiar and comforting feel of tweed. Giles wrapped his arms around his surrogate daughter and smiled.

"I missed you too, Buffy" he said, resisting the urge to let go, but eventually pain overtook his want to be close to her. "Buffy, my ribs" he wheezed.

"Oh! Sorry" she said, quickly releasing him with a slightly worried look, but smiling again when he did. Buffy sat on the sofa and indicated for Giles to do so as well.

"So, what brings you back to Sunnydale? We only talked a few days ago" she asked curiously, but then she sighed. "It's another apocalypse, isn't it?" she continued, sounding resigned.

Giles shook his head. "No, nothing apocalyptic" he said.

Buffy frowned a little. "Not that I'm not glad to see you, but what are you doing here then? I doubt you flew all the way from England for a social visit"

Giles sighed. He couldn't lie, per se, she'd know. "Honestly, I came to see if what people had said about you and Spike was true. I take it that seeing as how he was in the house when I arrived and has now vanished upstairs that he's here a lot?"

"He's my boyfriend, Giles. Yes he's here a lot"

"So you're still... together?"

Buffy nodded and smiled. "Yes, we're happily together"

"Buffy, are you sure that's a wise decision?"

"Giles, what is this? Did you fly here just to lecture me on my love life?"

"No, Buffy. I simply wanted to make sure you were certain and to... see the changes in Spike myself" If he has in fact changed at all.

"He's been doing really well actually. He's friends with all the gang now, and he and Xander don't even threaten to kill each other anymore" she grinned. "They play pool against each other, actually. And he's been helping out on patrol, helps me take care of Dawnie and... and Spike's helped me financially as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ungrateful for what you gave to us, it helped so much, but... Spike paid off the mortgage and bills so I don't need a job now. We're really happy" she smiled brightly at him.

"I'm glad he's helping you"

"He really is" Buffy sighed contentedly.

"And he's not a threat anymore?"

"No, he's fine. I mean, he slipped a bit tonight, but there were circumstances"

"What do you mean, 'slipped'?" Giles asked cautiously.

"Well, Warren shot me earlier today and during surgery... I died. But I'm okay. Only Spike heard the machine when I died and went after Warren before they managed to bring me back. Wills found him and we stopped him from doing anything, but he was kinda already strangling him. It was no big deal though" Buffy shrugged.

"'No big deal'?" Giles was shocked. "Buffy, are you saying he almost killed a human?"

Buffy immediately realised how it must have sounded and jumped to Spike's defence. "Like I said, he thought I was dead, so he wanted revenge, I guess" Oh, that didn't sound any better.

"What about his chip?"

"Oh, uh, I guess he was in too much emotional turmoil to feel it? You know, block yourself off from the pain" Oh no, this is getting worse. "Giles, you have to understand. Spike was going through something and as soon as he realised what had happened, he stopped"

"He stopped trying to kill Warren because he realised what he was doing was wrong?"

"Not exactly" Buffy admitted in a small voice. "He stopped because he saw I was alive"

"So what happens when you die again, Buffy? He's a vampire, you are going to die before him. What then?"

"It was different! Warren shot me!"

"He's still human. Good Lord, Buffy, if he could ignore the chip in this instance then what's to say he won't do it again?"

"He won't!" Buffy protested as she stood up, frustrated with not being able to find the words. She couldn't explain it, she just knew that today was the exception.

"You can't guarantee that"

"He won't kill anyone, he loves me and he knows it's wrong and he has the chip"

"It's not enough!" Giles sighed. He obviously wasn't getting through to her. "I didn't come here for an argument. I came to let you know I was back and that I was going to a hotel"

"I'm sorry, Giles" she said, sitting again. "I didn't mean to yell. It's just... you can trust him"

"Buffy, he doesn't have a soul"

"But you did"

Giles was stunned. "What on earth are you talking about?"

"You think no one noticed that Ben never left the tower? I asked and everyone said that they'd not seen him. Everyone except Dawn. She said she'd seen his body"

Giles glanced down, ashamed of his actions, even if he knew they were necessary. "He was alive when I left him, Giles. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out"

"I did what I had to do" he said quietly.

"I know, and I understand, really. Even when you said about killing Dawn. I understood. Why can't you understand why Spike was prepared to kill Warren?"

"It's not the same bloody thing, and you know it" Giles was in his feet now, pacing in front of her. He sighed and spoke again. "Buffy, I must apologise. Like I said, I didn't come here to fight. But please think about this rationally" he said, moving to the door and picking up his case.

Buffy opened the door and watched him leave. "I have. And you know what I realised?" she paused and Giles looked at her. "That love isn't rational"

He gave her a small smile and continued on his way, listening to the soft click of the door behind him.


"He stopped killing Warren because he realised what he was doing was wrong?"

"Not exactly. He stopped because he saw I was alive"

"So what happens when you die again, Buffy? He's a vampire, you are going to die before him. What then?"

"He's still human. Good Lord, Buffy, if he could ignore the chip in this instance then what's to say he won't do it again?"

"He won't!"

"You can't guarantee that"

"He won't kill anyone, he loves me and he knows it's wrong and he has the chip"

"It's not enough!"

"Buffy, he doesn't have a soul"

Only snippets of the conversation, or more technically, the argument downstairs reached his ears, but it was enough for Spike to gather the gist of what was being said. Spike sighed and stood from the bed he was sat on.


Buffy closed the door behind and Giles and stole back upstairs, hoping that their voices hadn't been loud enough to wake the others. She poked her head into Dawn's room and smiled when she saw the teenager spread over the bed like a starfish, still fast asleep.

Closing Dawn's door quietly, she moved to her own room and entered. "I'm sorry you had to hear that, but he's gone now" she whispered into the dark. She frowned as she became aware of the fact that she couldn't feel him.

"Spike?"

Buffy received no answer, and as she flicked on the light switch she saw why. The window was wide open, a gentle breeze blowing the curtains.


Spike didn't know how long he wandered the streets for. He kept going over what he'd heard in his head and over everything he'd been through since coming to Sunnyhell. And there seemed to be one common theme.

"You don't have a soul"

"He's soulless"

"He doesn't have a soul"

The soul. It apparently helped you tell right from wrong, made you feel guilt and remorse. Apparently, it meant a lot. Spike frowned. But what use did he have for a soul?

"What's to say he won't do it again?"

"He won't!"

"You can't guarantee that"

It also meant he wouldn't hurt anyone again. Or at least, he wouldn't kill them. And that's what this whole thing was about, right? If he had a soul, it would be enough. Spike, William the Bloody, would be safe.

He momentarily resisted the idea, his demon roaring, but then he thought about what it would mean if he did hurt someone.

If I 'urt someone, I 'urt Buffy, and I don' wan' to do that. I never wan' to 'urt 'er.

He watched a young woman with blonde hair hurrying down the path opposite him. She looked similar to Buffy in height and build, and would have made a nice snack a few years ago. Then something hit Spike that he'd never thought of before.

Everyone is someone's Buffy. If I kill that girl, there's gonna be a guy out there that 'urts as much as I did. A mum like Joyce, mournin' 'er lil' girl.

Suddenly, everything seemed clear. He could see, even though blood was necessary for him to live, why Buffy didn't want him to kill. The reason she went out slaying every night.

The young blonde wasn't a Happy Meal on legs anymore, she was a person. She was a human being with family and friends. People that would miss her, hurt if she was gone.

Spike crossed the road and stepped in front of the girl before he even knew what he was doing. The girl gasped and stepped back.

"Please, don't, don't hurt me" she stuttered.

"'M not gonna 'urt you, pet. But there are a fair few nasties hangin' about" The woman still looked nervous so Spike continued, ducking his head and softening his expression. "Look, luv, let's get you home, yeah?"

The girl stood still for a second before nodding and walking on, and Spike fell into step next to her.

"So, where do you live, pet?"

"J-just around the corner"

"'M not gonna hurt you, I promise. Just wan' to make sure you get home safe"

They walked in silence for a few minutes before the girl spoke up again. "Thanks. For, you know, walking me home. Even if it was a little strange" she sent him a timid smile and Spike returned it.

"Sorry about that, di'n't mean to scare you" The really strange thing was that he meant it.

The young woman smiled again, but this time it reached her eyes. "That's okay. It's not every day that a handsome guy comes up to you, offers to just walk you home and doesn't even tell you his name"

Spike chuckled. Very smooth he congratulated her in his thoughts. "Name's Spike"

"Melina" she told him. They smiled at each other again.

"Well, this is my stop" she said a short time later.

Spike turned to face her. "Be more careful in the future, pet. Try not to go out at night, 'n' if you do, take holy water. Maybe look into wearin' a cross necklace too or somethin'. Oh, 'n' watch who you invite into the house. There's some weird things that would love a tasty lil' morsel like you"

Melina gave him a strange look but agreed. She turned towards her house but paused and faced him once more. "Will I see you again?"

"Doubt it, luv. Not if you don' go out at night like I told you"

Melina grinned and nodded. "It was nice to meet you, Spike"

"Pleasure to meet you too, Melina"

The blonde girl smiled again and went into her house. Spike stood there for a second, going over what had happened. Surprisingly, it left him with a warm feeling inside. A big grin spread across his lips and he turned towards Revello. Dawn was coming, and he had a home to get to.


Buffy lay on her bed and stared at the wall. He was gone. He's left her. Spike had obviously heard the argument she'd had with Giles and had vanished. She could only hope he'd come back to her.

She'd left the window open in the optimism that he'd return. And at about 4.30 that morning, he did. He slipped silently through the window and moved to the bed. He sat down on it and leant over, placing a soft kiss on the back of her neck.

Buffy turned over and lifted her gaze to his. It broke his heart to see the sadness there as she asked in a wavering voice "Where did you go?"

"Doesn' matter right now, kitten. Jus' had to sort my head out. But 'm back"

"I thought you'd left"

"Could never leave you, kitten. 'M sorry"

"Did you get everything sorted out?" she asked, tenderly stroking his temple.

He nodded. "I'll tell you eveythin' in the mornin', yeah?" he suggested softly.

This time Buffy nodded and she reached for him to pull him down onto the mattress with her. He pulled back though, smiling at her and kissing her in reassurance when she glanced at him.

He undressed and slid under the covers. Buffy immediately snuggled up to him, wrapping her arms around him as his own went around her, holding her close. Buffy sighed happily, and Spike smiled against her hair. Soon enough, they had both fallen asleep.


When morning came, Spike was the first to wake. He'd forgotten to close the window behind him and sunlight was streaming into the room, just a few feet from his arm. Luckily, instinct had awoken him, his demon sensing the sunlight and the danger it presented.

Slowly, Spike moved from under Buffy. He smiled down at her when she groaned slightly in protest, her arm reaching out for him even in her sleep. Stroking her hair and whispering in her ear, Spike comforted her with his presence.

He dressed quickly before scrawling a quick note with a piece of paper and a pen he found lying in her room, he folded it and wrote her name on the front, leaving it on the pillow beside her. He then exited the room and made his way downstairs. In the kitchen, he found Willow already up and making breakfast.

"Hey Spike" She greeted him with a friendly smile.

"Mornin', Red. What are you doin' up so early?"

"I'm surprising Tara with breakfast in bed. After yesterday" she paused. "I'm not taking anything for granted. Thank you so much. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to Tara"

"'S okay, Willow" he told her with a smile. She smiled back and nodded.

"I was wonderin' somethin' though" he began casually.

"Yeah? What's up?"

"Could you, uh" Spike coughed and shifted in his seat. Willow rolled her eyes and grinned at him. Spike grinned back, but it was fake and Willow could tell.

"Spike, what is it?" she asked quietly and sincerely.

"Could you curse me? Give me a soul?"

Willow was shocked. She was shaken from it by the smell of burning pancakes and quickly spun and turned the cooker off.

"You... you want me to curse you with a soul?"

"Yeah. You could do that, right?"

"I don't know. Spike, why do you – "

"What do you mean, you don' know? You did it for Angel"

"Spike, Tara and I talked about it. Magic. My hair goes dark when I cast even the smallest spell. The dark magic is still inside me. So we're going to see Giles and talk about maybe getting a tutor or something. Someone who can help me channel my energies and... detoxify" she said.

Spike dropped his gaze to the floor. Willow looked him over in concern. "Spike, why do you think you need a soul?"

Spike shrugged. He had it all worked out in his head but figured it would sound silly if he tried to tell anyone else. "'S just, all anyone's told me since I got this chip that I'd still only be good if I had a soul" Spike scoffed and shook his head, remembering what Giles had said last night. "I think I proved the point last night, ain't that right?"

"What do you – "

"You know what I mean. Warren. I almost killed 'im. Would have if Buffy hadn't shown up" Spike sighed. "I can' risk losin' Buffy, 'n' that means I can' risk hurtin' anyone. I need you to curse me"

"Spike, I, I can't. You say you can't risk losing Buffy. I can't risk losing Tara. If I did a spell that big, I have no idea what would happen. You once talked about magic having consequences. Well, one of the consequences would be no more Tara, and that's not something I could live with" Spike was disappointed, but nodded. He understood what she meant.

"You're doing fine without a soul, Spike. You're proving us all wrong"

Spike shook his head. "No, Red. I'm the exception that proves the rule is all" He walked dejectedly into the living room, a worried Willow watching him.

She turned back to the cooker and made a fresh batch of pancakes. When she had done that she made some toast and poured two glasses of orange juice. Carrying the tray carefully, she made her way back up to her and Tara's bedroom, her mind focused on the blonde vampire downstairs.

Deciding to speak to Buffy when she woke up, Willow put the issue to the back of her mind and entered the room she shared with her love.


Buffy awoke slowly, but she noticed immediately that something wasn't right. She shot upright and looked around. Spike was gone, but in his place was a folded piece of paper with 'Buffy' written on it. Opening it, she pushed her hair behind her ears and read it.

Good morning, kitten.

I woke up early today and you looked so peaceful I couldn't bear to wake you. Besides, you deserve some rest. I didn't like the thought of you waking alone though, so I wrote you this.

Here's a little something I wrote a while back that had been bouncing around my head since I first saw you, even though I was living in Egypt.

'As I watched you dance I knew

That I couldn't live without you.

Living but dead, I'd waited so long

To find finally you, moving to our song.

A 'Stupid Thing' can cause much commotion

But that night, you truly were poetry in motion.'

I know it's not very good, but I hope it shows you how I feel. Oh, and in case you were wondering, the first time I saw you, you were dancing to 'Stupid Thing' by Nickel, at the Bronze with Xander and Willow. You looked absolutely stunning, dancing underneath those lights.

But that's a story for another time. For now, when you've read this, come and see me downstairs. I miss you already.

Yours, always.

Spike

Buffy smiled and folded the paper carefully. She placed it in the drawer, next to the paper copy she'd made of the poem he'd read to her before. Safely storing it in the table beside her bed, she got up, dressing and leaving the room to go in search of her vampire.


"Hey, honey" Buffy said as she entered the living room. She wrapped her arms around Spike and kissed him, not noticing the empty mug on the table, not caring that he still tasted a little like blood.

"Mornin', kitten" he replied, pulling her down into his lap.

"I loved your note. And, I remember too" she admitted with a grin. "'I'm one step away from crashing to my knees'" she sang.

"'I'm one step away from spillin' my guts to you'" he sang back. Buffy smiled at him and leaned into him.

"So, uh, want to tell me what happened last night?" Buffy asked.

Spike chuckled. "Not one to beat about the bush then?"

Buffy shook her head and grinned. "You made me curious before. Now spill"

Spike told her about hearing the argument, going out to clear his head, his revelation and the Melina girl.

Buffy pouted when he talked about Melina. He stopped in the middle of his story of walking her home when he noticed and asked her what it was for. "Was she prettier than me?"

"Not possible, kitten. But you know that, you're jus' fishin' for compliments"

Buffy shrugged, caught but shameless. "Can't blame a girl for trying"

Spike grinned and told her the rest of the story. "I'm so proud of you" she said, her eyes glowing with love and happiness.

"Why's that, luv?"

"For figuring out why I fight. I didn't think it was all demon fighting to you, but I just didn't know how to explain it"

"I get it now, pet. Believe me, I get it"

Buffy smiled and hugged him. Then she realised how tense he was under her touch. "What's wrong?"

"Nothin's wrong, pet"

"No, you have 'something' face. Talk to me" she urged him gently.

Spike sighed and figured that Willow would probably tell her anyway. "I asked Red to curse me"

"Curse you? Like, with a soul?" Buffy asked, completely taken aback.

Spike nodded and Buffy stared at him in shock. "But... why?"

He reiterated his reasoning from earlier that morning and Buffy's face slowly softened as she listened, her heart melting as she fell in love with him just a little bit more.

"Spike, that's so sweet" she kissed his jaw. "And brave" she moved to his ear. "But unnecessary" she reached his lips.

He kissed her back but it was only half-hearted and Buffy could tell he was holding back. "Spike, I trust you. You don't need a soul. But thank you for being willing to do that"

Spike smiled and nodded. "Anything for you, Buffy"

Buffy smiled and slowly ran her hands down his sides until she was level with where she had found a certain spot a few nights before. Caressing his sides lightly, she grinned when his eyes closed and his head fell back. He let out a low hum of pleasure as a soft growl that sounded more like a purr began in his chest.

Buffy had discovered this particular talent of his one night recently, when he had been almost asleep. He had been so content, that he had started... purring. It had increased in volume when she curled up next to him and it was the most adorable sound Buffy had ever heard. She had told him so when he woke, and that she loved it. Now he did it whenever he was happy, which was practically whenever they were together.

But she hadn't forgotten his attack on her before. Without warning, she dug her fingers into his sides and tickled him, catching him off guard and making him explode with laughter. He wriggled against her, trying to get away but she held firm, grinning like a goof.

"Buffy, stop! Buffy!" He tried to protest, but just couldn't stop laughing.

"Ha ha! The mighty Slayer strikes back" she shouted, shrieking in surprise as he bucked, sending them both to the floor. She was relentless and kept tickling him though, until he grabbed her and flipped her underneath him, pinning her hands with his. He took a moment to catch his breath, still grinning, as was she. Her grin softened to a smile and she leaned up to kiss him.

"I love you, Spike, soulless or otherwise" she smiled at him again and he stood, pulling her close as he returned them to their seats on the sofa, whispering a litany of endearments into her ear with confessions of love.

They parted soon though and Spike got up to leave. Buffy asked where he was going and he told her he was going to the cemetery.

"'M fed up of smellin' like the sewers, luv. I need to get some more stuff"

Buffy giggled and nodded. "Okay, but hurry back"

"Be quick as I can, kitten" he said, placing a kiss on her forehead before grabbing his blanket and, once again, sprinting for the nearest manhole cover.


A/N: I always had this image of Spike being able to purr as well as growl. It was so cute in my head that I just had to put it in my story. Then it made me jealous of Buffy. I want my own vampire XD

Erm, so that's it I guess. Umm... it's not the end of Giles, we will be seeing him again. And uh, we'll find out how Warren's doing, and umm... I'm not really sure what else :D

So, please review and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading and I look forward to reading your views :)