My Beloved


Chapter 28


Piper went to bed last night, confused and flustered, but she woke up with a very different feeling the next morning. She was pissed off at Alex's attempt to cross the line. Why now? It had been years, while Alex had made no attempt to see her. Piper was even engaged at this point, but surprisingly Alex seemed to not care and tried to fuck everything up. Piper wouldn't let it happen again. No way.

"Morning!" Alex greeted happily as Piper came down the stairs. She was already sitting by the small dining table. It appeared that she had made breakfast for both of them. The meal consisted of mushroom omelets, smoked hams, fresh basils and tomatoes on the side. A glass of orange juice on the table for Piper. A carton of milk for Alex herself.

Piper gulped. The breakfast looked good. It smelled so fucking good, too. And the sight of Alex and her milk was begging Piper to sit down. It was just like their good old time. How they used to be.

Piper took in a deep breath and turned to the front door. "I'm going out."

Alex instantly stood up from the table and walked towards the couch. "I'm coming with you," she said as she grabbed her windbreaker and put it on.

"No, I prefer to go alone."

"After what happened to Pete, that's out of the question." Alex grabbed a leather shoulder holster from one of her suitcases on the floor and walked up to Piper. "From now on, you need to wear this every time you go out. Now, let me help."

Piper held her breath. "What are you doing?"

"Just lift your arms up... Like that. Yep." Alex carefully pulled Piper's denim jacket off, and helped fastening the holster for her.

Alex continued to explain the process like an instructor, but Piper found it hard to focus at the dangerous proximity between them. There wasn't much room to breathe without breathing in each other. Why did Alex have to make it harder than it has to be? Alex was acting as if nothing happened last night. The attempt to steal a kiss from her wasn't nothing. At least, for Piper, it wasn't. And it infuriated the blonde so much that it still bothered her every time Alex was close to her. She wasn't supposed to feel it anymore. She wasn't supposed to feel anything.

"The gun will be in the left pouch. The right will be your mag pouch." Alex had chosen Px4 Storm Compact for Piper. It was a beautiful, black and slick gun. Alex looked up at Piper with a satisfied smile. It was as though she had dressed up Piper like a doll with a toy gun. "You're all set!" she said, grinning.

"Good." Piper looked away, trying her best not to smile, but Alex's pull at her hands caused her to look back.

"Come on. Let's eat. I'm starving," Alex grumbled. "Please?"

For some very odd reason, Piper could imagine Alex's wagging her imaginary tail, begging with her green, twinkling eyes. The adorable look reminded Piper of her cougar, and it flooded her heart with nostalgic warmth. Oh, Al. Piper didn't want to be sad when thinking about her cougar anymore. She wanted to remember only the good times between them.

Piper sighed as she found herself following Alex back to the dining table. The food smelled too good to pass anyway.


Alex began to cook more often. Breakfast and lunch, mostly. But sometimes she cooked dinner as well. She tried to keep them indoor as much as possible, except when Piper was needed to practice at the shooting range.

To Piper's dismay, Alex's cooking was even better than she last remembered. Alex was leaner and much more toned now. She was like a skinny, wild lion with untamed, raven mane, soundless glides and dangerous gaze. It seemed that their years apart had changed Alex for the better, and Piper was undeniably jealous and bitter about it. She didn't want Alex to be miserable, but she wanted Alex to be miserable without her. Now that it seemed the opposite, it just made Piper even angrier and wanted to be distant.

Piper began to have her meals up in her room, so that she didn't have to see the raven-haired woman more than she should. She would spend her time, watching TV, reading, or exercising as she pleased. Alex would be downstairs, doing her things. When Piper got bored, she would just shout out for Alex. The taller woman would readily knock on the door, always fast and quiet. Sometimes it felt as though Alex had been waiting just outside the door the whole time.

"Yeah, I'm here."

Piper looked up at the closed door, imagining the face to go with the husky whisper. She imagined Alex staring down at the tiled floor, her ear against the wooden door. She would like to imagine that Alex was smiling, too. "Let's go for a movie tonight."

Silence.

"I don't think it's a good idea. Can't you find something to watch on TV?"

Piper rolled her eyes, throwing herself onto the bed. The hideout had finally got to her. It had begun to feel like a real house arrest. She was confined by frustration and fear of the faceless enemies, drowned by regrets and memories of her time with Alex. It was becoming very hard to stay sane. "How long do we have to stay here? I can't take this anymore." She blurted out, hugging one of her pillows. She missed her apartment. She missed going to movies and lunches with friends. She missed real vacations when she didn't have to look behind her every few moments, not having to carry a gun. She missed dinner parties and holidays with Larry.

Larry.

Piper gazed at her finger, and then looked up at nightstand. She had forgotten to put on the ring again. The ring had become the only remaining symbol that connected her to the life she had left behind.

"I don't know, Pipes. I really don't know. I'm sorry. But this is for your own safety."

Piper watched Alex's shadow moving through the gap below the door. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"I'll stay, if you stay."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Piper hugged her pillow tighter. "Come on. I was attacked, and Pete was killed. It's pretty clear by now that my dad's team is the target, which means including you. Promise me that you'll stay here for your own safety, too."

Silence.

"It works both ways, Alex."

"I'm not sure that you understand the situation here."

"Then, explain everything to me! I know that you're withholding information from me. Tell me, so that I can help you more than just lying in bed, waiting uselessly for this to be over." Piper groaned into the pillow. She glanced at the door again. She could hear Alex slide down to sit on the floor, leaning against the wooden plane.

"I have a plan. How about you and I escape now, never to return again. But you have to leave your family and friends behind. We can't tell them where we're going. Ever. How about that?"

Lying on her side, Piper gazed out the window to the sea and the mountains. Her long legs were wrapping around another pillow, her feet rubbing against each other. The plan sounded so romantic. So good. Like a dream she always had. "Are you kidding me? I'm engaged." Piper chortled at her own silly thoughts.

Silence.

Blue eyes then turned at the door. Her heart skipped a beat. "You're kidding, right?"

"That's what I thought." Alex chuckled. "This is our temporary shelter, Pipes. Please, be patient. Kubra will put them down soon, and then we can go back to our lives."

Piper tried to let Alex's words breeze through her without overthinking and resentment. She needed to live a day without those negative feelings. She hadn't been successful so far. "Will we still talk when all of this is over? Will you run away again?"

"Do you want to be my friend?"

Piper shrugged. "Sure." They were never friends. Not for a second.

"Let me ask your dad."

Blood shot up to Piper's head. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Alex laughed. "Did I annoy you?"

"Very much! Oh, Alex, for fuck's sake!" Piper grunted, burying half her face in the pillow. She realized how much she had missed Alex's throaty laugh, and she hated it. She hated that even though years had gone by, but it still felt as though no time had passed.

Piper stared out the splendid view. Alex had chosen this room—this view for her. It looked like heaven on earth, a timeless garden where she was secluded from the rest of mortals. Hidden. Forbidden. Piper let her mind absorb the view. She let it drown her. She wanted something—anything to completely nullify her fear. Fear of feelings anything again.

After a long silence, Alex moved behind the door. "Hey, I got news."

Piper glared at the door once more. "Who's dead now?"

"Relax. Bill just texted me. It appears that Pete was caught in a bar brawl and was shot as a result. Congratulations, Pipes. You may now pick your movie."

Piper sat up, her eyes wide. "Really? Oooh!" She wasn't glad for Pete's death, but she needed to feel alive herself. She quickly grabbed her phone, checking for the current movies in theater. "Wait. Jason Bourne 6? Which one is this? I'm confused. Is it new? But he looks old here."

Alex's laugh rang from the other side of the door, and it made Piper smile.


It was almost midnight by the time the movie was over. They strolled down the hilly road towards the small parking area by the cliff, where they had left their Vespa. The sky was clear with feather-like ribbons of cloud. The moon was bright, reflecting its soft light over the vast, calm sea below.

Alex and Piper strolled together, but kept their distance at arm length, their gazes teasing between stealing glances at each other, or pretending to admire the breathtaking view over the cliff. Piper was smiling at the cool wind breezing past her. She was wearing a beige trench coat, her hands in her pocket. Alex was wearing her black windbreaker, her hands in the back pockets of her jeans.

"You don't like the movie," Alex commented, glancing at the blonde. She should be looking ahead, but she couldn't help it. Piper's smile always did things to her, conjuring the feelings inside of her, exciting and warm at the same time. Alex just couldn't look away. If she could put Piper behind a glass wall, she would. She would protect that smile. She would protect Piper by any means necessary.

"Can you blame me? He's been chased for decades, but we all know that he's gonna get away. And he just did it. Again!" Piper then glanced at Alex, blue gaze deep in thoughts. "And because you sat six rows behind me. You can imagine what a terrible date it was. You see why I'm pissed right now?"

Alex chortled. "So, you're actually pissed at me, not Bourne being boringly alive."

"Predictably so." Piper pretended to gripe.

Alex smiled at the blonde. Piper was being extra chirpy tonight, seemingly more relaxed since learning that Pete's death had nothing to do with the gang war. It put both her father and Alex off the wanted list. At least, for now. Alex, too, was relieved. Things had been intense for months now. They badly needed a break. "I had to keep an eye on the entrances. Plus, it's a good thing to sit behind you to be able to see who would be approaching you. That way, I'd have time to prevent things from happening."

"I bet that you didn't get to watch the movie at all."

"I watched it about four months ago."

"What?" Piper frowned.

"It's a small town. There's only one theater here, and the movies are months old. You don't go to theaters much anymore?"

"Remember we went to see Frozen 2 together? Wow, that was five years ago! Time flies!" Piper laughed.

Involuntarily, Alex's heart fluttered at the mention of their first movie night together. She was surprisingly happy that Piper still remembered. Countless times that she had gone to movies alone, wishing that Piper was there with her, simply holding her hand. Many times that she had walked out of the theaters, hoping to run into a certain blonde. But it never happened like in movies. There was no fantasy to live. Real life was emotionally dry and harsh, leaving her longing for the past. Those girls she met at the bars and clubs had failed to replace Piper. Alex wasn't sure if she had been blessed or cursed by the memories of her master. It hurt just to think of what they had lost.

It hurt. Too much.

But, then, the love that Piper had shown her had pulled her back, stopping her from slipping into madness. It reminded Alex of when she had learn to 'give'. Together, they had learned to sacrifice and embrace. Alex just couldn't erase all of that. She turned to look into the blue eyes. "Of course, I remember. I've missed it."

Piper visibly stiffened. Her pace stalled a little before quickly resuming her walk. She looked down at the road instead. "We don't go to movies much because Larry prefers the home theater in our apartment. People chatting during movies can be really annoying, you know." Piper giggled, but the smile in her voice sounded strained. She was clearly uncomfortable now.

Alex instantly cast her gaze out at the sea. Suddenly, the air was knocked out of her lungs, and she felt winded. It crushed her. Piper had been clear since that night, refusing her advance, and now she just felt like a fool. She was even more embarrassed now without the influence of the alcohol to mask it. Piper had been trying to keep distance, and Alex should just respect it. Although she must admit that she had missed Piper so much, and being near her again after all these years only made it worse. She wasn't as strong as she thought she was.

Piper was now walking two arms length away from her, and it just made Alex feel like shit. Her chest about to burst in agony, Alex finally stopped in her tracks, causing Piper to stop as well. They were standing by the edge of the cliff. Cool wind breezed through their hair. Their faces were bathed in moonlight. The blue gaze appeared reluctant, while the green one, pained.

"I'm sorry about that night," Alex eventually said.

"That night? What...? Oh... Oh, I see—umm, yeah, it was... You were drunk, so... well, you know. Well... just don't do it again," Piper stammered, all the while looking elsewhere.

Alex involuntarily stared at the blonde, even though she knew that she shouldn't. Her only love. The woman she used to have. Just like Bill said; their time had passed. Bill had manipulated them, but Alex felt that it was her own fault for ever allowing it to happen. She hadn't been strong for Piper when it counted. She had let Piper down. "I won't do it again. I really hope that you're happy with him, and that he treats you well," she said, offering a jaded smile.

"Better not expect an invitation to the wedding, Alex. I'm not strong enough." Piper tried to smile back, making light of her statement, but her voice was already cracking, giving it away. She gave the pain away. To them both. There were many things that had been left unanswered between them, including their love and how it ended. Alex wasn't sure if there would be a day when she would be able to explain, or if it still mattered anymore.

"I'd love to see you in the white dress. You'd look very pretty. Send me some pictures."

Nodding slightly, Piper smiled. "Yeah, that, I can do."

"I won't show up and crash your wedding. Promise," Alex teased, winking.

Piper laughed. Her voice was smooth and calm, charming like a bell ringing in the fog. She laughed the laugh that Alex had always loved. They stood for a small moment longer before strolling down the road once again, heading towards the parking lot. Most people had already taken their vehicles and left. Only a few motorbikes were left.

Piper hopped onto their Vespa. She put on the helmet and started the engine. Alex looked around, noting how dark the road was.

"Are you sure about this? The road down will be pretty dark," Alex said.

Piper rolled her eyes, a smirk on her face. She revved up the engine. "Oh, please. How many times have you underestimated me and were proven wrong? Hop on, Vause."

Alex giggled. She just loved the confident Piper. Soon, they rode down the hill. Piper must be excited or nervous because her hands started to wobble. "Hey, you're ok?"

"I'm fine. Don't worry." Piper mumbled against the wind, squinting. "But it's so dark!"

The headlight lent them some visibility, but even the moonlight on this summer night wasn't helping much. The vehicle increasingly rocked as it cruised down the road, moonlight obscured by tall trees. Then, as they approached a turn around the cliff, a van sped up along the opposite lane, flashing light into their eyes. The van drove into Piper's lane, causing the Vespa to veer off the road to avoid the crash.

"Alex!"

The Vespa slid off the low barrier along the serpentine road, plunging down the steep hill. It all was happening so fast. Alex had literally milliseconds to respond. The urgency in Piper's voice caused adrenaline pumping into her blood. Alex held the blonde tightly with both arms. She used her body as shield as she kicked them off the vehicle, rolling down the high slope. The motorbike crashed and rolled over them, and Alex had to use her left arm to block the deadly hit.

Both women plunged further down with the vehicle before the tumultuous crash eventually stopped. Out of breath, Alex lied down on her back, Piper on top of her, secured in her right arm. She inwardly growled as the pain started to break through the numbness, viciously burning her left arm and ribcage.

Blue eyes fluttered open. Piper whimpered as she tried to move her right leg, but failed. It seemed that she had hurt the leg during the fall. "Alex... are you... ok?" she breathed.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Alex pushed herself up to a sitting position, and Piper slid off her. She scrutinized the blonde, who looked frightened. A wreck. Poor Pipes. She wanted to hug Piper, to console her, but stopped herself in time. She inwardly berated herself for allowing Piper to ride in the dark in the first place. "Are you all right, Pipes? Can you walk?"

"I... I think so."

Alex got up, and then helped Piper, but the blonde limped as soon as she set her right foot on the ground. Piper bit her bottom lip to muffle her cry. The sight tore at Alex's heart. She knelt down in front of Piper, her back facing the smaller woman. "Get on my back."

"Uh—I'm ok. I can walk—"

"Come on, it's late. We're gonna have to walk home, so it's gonna take a while. I'll get someone to pick up the motorcycle tomorrow."

Piper hesitated for a moment before giving in. She climbed onto Alex's back. Alex wrapped Piper's legs around her waist, and Piper winced at the pain in her right knee.

"Just hold on. When we get home, I'll take a look at the knee. We'll see if you need to go to the hospital," Alex said. She began to carry Piper piggyback, climbing down to the road again, heading towards beachfront.

"I'm sure I'm bruised, but it's not that bad. I can't believe they didn't even stop to look where we had fallen! They didn't give a fuck if we had gotten seriously hurt, or if we had died. I can't believe what had just happened!" Piper rested her chin on Alex's shoulder, her arms around Alex's neck.

"They were probably too drunk to realize that we were there. I'll be sure to track them down in the morning. I saw the license plate."

"Wow, you were fast! That's so cool. Go kick their asses." Piper tapped Alex's shoulder, giggling.

Thinking of the possibility that Piper might have gotten badly injured or worse, Alex had planned to do much more than kick their asses. But Alex couldn't help but smile as she felt Piper's arms comfortably hung around her neck, their cheeks touched. Piper's front rested fully against Alex's back. They were so close to each other that their body heat enveloped them both, blending into one. It felt just like the old days, when she would act as a cushion for her master while they were sleeping. Sometimes it still deeply saddened Alex whenever she thought of how she could never be Piper's cougar again. The thought of their childhood days clung to Alex like a heavy, endless fog that clouded her ways, no matter how hard she tried to run away.

"Are you hurt? You're so quiet," Piper said.

Alex shook her head. "I'm fine." Now that the adrenaline rush subsided, it hurt all over. Inside and out.

"You're so warm." Piper nestled her face into Alex's neck, and it brought tears to the green eyes. "And trembling. Alex, are you ok?" Piper looked up, gasping as she saw a tear rolling down Alex's cheek.

Alex immediately turned her face the other way, so that Piper wouldn't be able to see. It felt ridiculously awful. Exposed and foolish.

Suffocated.

Her gaze down, Alex kept walking, increasing her speed, so that she would have something else to focus on. She needed to get back home. She needed to get out of here. She needed to stay away from Piper.

Piper didn't ask more. She didn't suggest anything that would have made Alex feel uncomfortable. Instead, her arms tightened around Alex's neck, reluctant at first, but it eventually grew into a firm, reassuring embrace. "If the sky..." The blonde began to hum, trying to find words.

With just three words, tears found their way out of Alex's heart again. Alex didn't turn to see Piper's face, but a soft smile was ever present in Piper's soothing voice.

"If the sky that we look upon should tumble and fall—"

Alex kept walking ahead. The hold of the slender arms around her neck was as gentle as the wind. All of a sudden, Piper felt as light as a feather on her back.

"—I won't cry. No, I won't shed a tear, just as long as you stand... stand by me."

Under the moonlight, Alex remained silent for the rest of the walk. Her mind was lost in the fog. She let her feet took them wherever they were supposed to go. She wouldn't dare to speak another word for fear of breaking the spell Piper had put her under. Tonight, she refused to be unbound.

And, darling, darling, stand by me.


Dawn.

Soft light permeated into the room through the sheer curtains. Piper was lying on her bed, watching the murky view of the grand, beautiful mountains behind those semi-transparent cloths. She had stayed awake the whole night. The motorbike accident shook her to the core, but she believed that she had somehow concealed her fears well. At least, enough to not raise Alex's concerns any more than it should. She had tried to keep things between them as simple as possible.

Piper tossed and turned in her bed. Panic had kept her on high alert, or so she had tried to convince herself. She was already cleaned up, wearing a white robe. Alex had helped her with a quick shower and cleaned the cuts and wounds on her body, especially the ones along her right leg, which were more serious than others. None seemed to be life-threatening, fortunately.

Hours after returning home, Piper was still in shock. Alex seemed to have fallen into the same, muted state as she was. As soon as they had come down from the hill and reached the beachfront, the spell had been broken. Along the beach, lovers had walked about, drunken in their love under the moonlight. Their presences had completely cast Piper and Alex out, leaving them awkward and embarrassed. Or, at least, that was how Piper had felt. She hadn't been able to find her voice to sing anymore as it was easier to pretend in the dark. Piper was scared. She had begun to notice that she had grown paranoid, and would panic over even little things. Even the light as it threatened to rip her mask off, tearing her wall down.

Exposed.

Her body acquired a mind of its own. Piper got out of bed with some difficulty since the pain caused her to tiptoe on her right foot. But she'd survive it. She left her room and went downstairs.

Alex was sleeping on the couch. The taller woman was still in the same clothes she wore last night, a gray t-shirt and a pair of black jeans. Her leather jacket was discarded on the floor. Her head was messy, her face pale. She was lying on her right, a thin blanket pulled up to her waist.

The doors to the terrace were left open, and soft wind breezed in. Against her own will, Piper limped towards the couch and sat down along its edge. She wasn't sure what she was doing, or why, but she was certain that it was a bad idea. She grabbed the edge of the blanket, pulling it up, but paused when she saw bloodied cuts and purple bruises on Alex's left shoulder. Curious, she lifted Alex's collar slightly and saw more damages beneath the garment. Alex must have hit hard during the accident last night, although she didn't display any hints of pain as she carried Piper down from the mountain.

Alex was exceptionally strong, even according to Jessica and Kevin back in those days. Piper had witnessed how incredibly agile Alex was, holding her and leaping from the motorbike as though they were in some terrific action scenes. Bourne didn't even come close to what Piper felt as she flew in Alex's arms. Everything happened so fast, but Alex's landing down the steep slope managed to be quite smooth. It happened so naturally that Piper wondered where Alex had trained before, or if it was even humanly possible.

Piper's train of thoughts was interrupted when Alex shifted in her sleep, but then winced at the pain. "Alex, hey…" Piper caressed the woman's cheek. Alex was sweaty and warm, and it worried Piper. Alex didn't bother to clean up her own wounds, exhausted and fell asleep right after tending to Piper's. The guilt momentarily caused Piper to look away. She wanted to berate Alex for her negligence.

Piper slowly moved to grab first aid kit and came back to the couch. She briefly thought back at those nights Alex had to sleep on the super uncomfortable chair in her hospital room for over a month. She didn't ask her father for a couch sooner in hope that it would eventually make Alex leave. But it failed. Alex had stayed and sworn to be with her and protect her. She was surprised that both her father and Alex agreed to it. It was ridiculous that Piper felt like she never had any truth from the two most important people in her life.

Most important.

Piper was putting on the disposable gloves, but stalled at her own thought. What she had with Alex was short-lived. It might have been just lust, or at best, love at first sight. After three years, it should have faded already. Piper had done a lot of growing up, her worldview changed, and Alex shouldn't have been considered 'important' to her anymore. The only problem was that Piper still felt so. Very much so. Alex was still important to her, and she suddenly grew to hate the realization.

"Pipes?" Alex rubbed her eyes with her knuckles. She sat up, groaning sleepily. "Is there something wrong?"

"Take off your clothes."

"What?"

"I'm gonna clean up your wounds, chop-chop."

"Now? Go back to sleep."

"Alex."

"Ugh." Alex eventually pulled off her t-shirt and waited like a sleepy, grumpy cat.

They were exes, and this should have been an absolutely awkward moment for them, but Alex continued to yawn, careless of her naked upper body under Piper's stare. Blushing, Piper tried to look away, but it was a fruitless attempt. Blue gaze wandered back to the pale woman. Young and wild. Like an unknown creature from a fairytale. Alex's curves fell at the right places. Her limbs were long and regal, her bones strong. Her thick, raven mane cut a great, surreal contrast with her alabaster skin. Only those fresh wounds made Alex seem touchable. Those foreign scars along her body made her more 'human'.

Tainted. Pained.

Piper studied those scars with a reluctant heart. They happened during their years of separation.

"Chop-chop," Alex teased, yawning again.

Piper immediately looked down, clearing her throat. "Be still." She began to clean up the cuts on the right shoulder first. "How did you get this?"

It took Alex a moment to recall. "When the motorbike fell on us."

Piper's chest tightened at the thought of Alex shielding her with her own body. "You saved my life. Thank you."

Alex mildly shrugged. "I'd love to be of help."

The formality cut into Piper's heart, and her hands stalled for a moment. "Let's just hope we can go home soon. I'd hate to get you into any more trouble."

Alex winced as Piper removed a splinter from the long cut. Green eyes were clear now, and she glanced at the blonde suspiciously. "Ouch."

"Sorry." Piper used more saline to clean the wounds.

"You're not sorry. You're mad."

Piper's gaze unwillingly fell on Alex's heaving chest. The smooth skin. The round, perfect breasts. "I—I'm not mad. Why would I be?"

"I don't know. You tell me." Alex's lips curved up into a smirk, and Piper felt the urge to slap it off.

"You're assuming things. I'm just trying to help and be useful here before this hideout would drive me insane. I need to do something. Something real. Something important. Like I should be working on my first job right now. I've got several job offers, you know. Real jobs, not the waitress kind, you know what I mean. I was so excited about all the possibilities, but now—"

Biting her bottom lip, Alex glanced out at the terrace.

Piper halted. "Oh, no. No, I didn't mean it that way. Waiting tables is a real job. Honest job. What I mean is—"

"It's ok, Pipes. I know the difference, and I know that you didn't mean any harm. I understand that you just want to get back to your life. If I'm being really honest, this is driving me crazy, too." Alex looked down at her linked hands on her lap. "Nothing should have happened to you in the first place. You don't deserve any of this."

"It's not your fault." Piper could feel herself trembling. She was trying her best not to reach out and hug Alex. She shut herself up before she would tell her that everything was all right, because it really wasn't. The near death experience still traumatized her. Her father's shady business only complicated things further. Seeing Alex again just fucked up her determination to move on. For Piper, nothing seemed all right at the moment. "Well, it's partly your fault," she said.

Alex raised a brow. "So, you admit now that you're mad?"

"It is partly your fault. You left," Piper said, staring back into the green eyes.

Her response took Alex by surprise, and it took Alex a moment before she said, "I'm really sorry."

At the admittance, Piper felt worse. It felt like the whole world was crushing down upon her. Rage boiled inside of her. There was no way to erase all the sufferings she had endured after their depart. There was no way to get her old self back—the love and the spirit. She was ruined because of what her father and Alex had decided for her. "You know what, after all that I went through, last thing I need is a fucking apology," she said.

"Ok. I'll take it back," Alex growled, clenching her fists.

Piper's body tensed as she glared at the taller woman. "Don't say sorry when you don't mean it."

"What? It's my fault now? I am sorry, but you don't want my apology."

"I don't want it, because it doesn't help!"

"I'm sorry if I can't help you. Maybe Larry can." Alex sharply looked away, but then winced at the fast movement of her body.

Piper paused for a second, watching if Alex was okay. Her voice softened when she said, "I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I don't want your sympathy. I just want you to be honest with me. For once."

Honesty.

The notion seemed to stall Alex. She stared down at the floor for a long moment, contemplating. Then, she ran a hand through her hair. "I wanted to come back, but… they wouldn't let me."

Blue eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?" Piper stiffened. She was careful not to get her hopes up. She just wanted a confession—a closure, so that they both could move on in peace. It had nothing to do with wanting to undo the past.

Alex closed her eyes, a crease deepened between her brows as if she was recalling an unpleasant memory. "They hurt me. Threatened me."

Piper felt her face cold. Her gaze roamed around Alex's body, scrutinizing the nasty scars that marred the perfect skin. "Oh, God, Alex. Did they do this to you?" Piper didn't know what to think anymore. She didn't want to imagine her father being capable of such cruelty.

Alex quickly held Piper's hand in reassurance. "It wasn't Bill. I mean, he didn't want me to... to be close to you, but he wasn't the one who hurt me."

Piper watched the smile on Alex's face, and she tried her best not to cry. Even at this moment, Alex was trying to protect her and her love for her father. It still felt very much like 'love', and Piper was deeply frustrated by the distance between them. They were both next to each other, yet so far away. "Then tell me who hurt you. Who gave you those scars?" she asked, her voice shaken.

Alex briefly looked down. "You don't know her. Trust me. It's safer that you don't know these people."

"Her?" A knot in Piper's throat. "Who is she? Why did she hurt you? Does she work for my dad? Kubra? What does she do?"

Alex sighed. "It happened years ago. I was warned."

Piper's face screwed up in anger and disgust. "She did this to you as a warning?"

"It was complicated." Alex lifted her shoulder up a little, urging Piper to finish cleaning the wounds. "Please? So we could go back to sleep. It's still way too early to be awake," she said with a sleepy smile.

Piper carefully placed the bandages over the cuts. "Don't try to change the subject, Alex. Who is this woman? Why didn't you go to the police for help? This is outrageous." There were strange thoughts in Piper's head. The scars that looked like clawed wounds and bite wounds. The fact that it was a woman who inflicted them upon Alex. Piper wasn't sure how to piece the puzzles together.

Alex flexed her left arm. The bandages wrapped well. "Thank you," she said, grinning.

"You did mine last night," Piper said. A smile curved up her lips, but it was short-lived. Dark thoughts clouded her mind again. She began to put all the tools back into the box. "You should have gone to the police. You could have asked them for protection."

"Against who? Kubra? I am not going to trial against him. It's not worth it. The police doesn't give a shit. They won't waste their time, protecting ex-cons. I've seen what happened to a few who turned against Kubra. Oh, boy, they didn't end in one piece. Literally." Alex dryly chuckled. Tiredness set in her eyes. She leaned back into the couch and lied down. "Let's just forget it about it. It was all in the past now."

Piper surprised Alex, and even herself, when she lied down next to Alex. She was hurt just to think of how hurt Alex was. It didn't console her to know that she wasn't alone in suffering during those years as she thought it would. It pained her now to know. She had countless times blamed Alex for not returning, but now Alex's confession only made her feel horrible with herself. She had failed to find Alex. She had failed to help her when it was needed the most. Then, the memory of photos taken in Chicago emerged at the back of Piper's mind. They were of Alex and a mysterious blonde. A blonde. A woman. A captor. Someone the hit man mistook Piper for her that night. Someone dangerous. Could the woman be the one who had harmed Alex?

Or a lover?

Piper tried to stop her own thoughts from spiraling out of control. The violence against Alex. Her own near death experience. The cries and the pain. Piper stiffened as she closed her eyes tightly. She had to stop thinking. She needed to be in control.

Quickly, Alex wrapped her arms around Piper. "Are you ok, Pipes?"

"Yeah... yeah, I'm ok," Piper lied, gulping down her dry throat. Those arms. The warmth. They felt so familiar that it hurt so much to know that this was only fleeting.

Alex brushed the golden strands of hair with her fingertips and leaned in to peck on the back of Piper's neck. Piper's eyes fluttered in contentment, and she softly sighed. She should have stopped Alex, or at least told Alex to back off, but words failed her. She was lying here in Alex's arms, and everything else was just background.

"I—I think this is a bad idea," Piper whispered. She tried to unwrap Alex's arms, but the taller woman quickly pulled her down into little spoon position.

"Shh, go back to sleep."

Alex's whisper tickled the back of Piper's ear, and the blonde recoiled. Alex's voice had grown slightly huskier over the years, making it even smoother in Piper's ears. "No. No, this is—I just—I just woke up."

"But you haven't slept."

Piper frowned. "How did you know?"

"I didn't hear you having a nightmare."

Silence.

"I may be downstairs, but I can hear you very well. I can catch your movement, how you move about in your room. You climbed onto the bed and slid under the blanket. You lied awake all night. Tensed."

"How did you know all this when you were sleeping?"

"If you moved, I would have heard you." Alex shrugged.

Piper had to admit that her body was sore from lying so stiffly the whole night. Panic had gripped her so deeply, preventing her from falling asleep. "I'm trying to be in awe of your unique ability without freaking out, Alex. But this is downright creepy." All of a sudden, strong arms wrapped around her tighter, and Piper winced.

"Please, don't be afraid of me," Alex murmured. Her voice was breaking.

Alex sounded so small and hurt that Piper quickly grabbed her forearm, running her thumb along her skin to soothe her. "Hey, I was joking. I'm not afraid—"

"But—"

"Come on. Why would I be afraid of you?" Piper turned around to face Alex, her gaze fixing on the pair of full lips a mere inch away from her own. "Although it really is startling. I guess I learn something new about you everyday. Do you always have such good ears?"

"I was born with it," Alex said.

Piper stared into the green. She couldn't really tell if Alex was being serious. Did she date a superhuman? To make the whole thing even stranger, Alex had always been on the peculiar side. "What else do I need to know about you?"

"Not much." Alex chuckled as she pulled the blonde closer.

Piper yelped, putting one hand over Alex's shoulder to prevent her own face from brushing with Alex's. But it was the bad shoulder, and Alex winced at the grip. "Oh, my God, I'm sorry! Are you ok!?" She instantly let go off Alex's shoulder.

"I'll survive," Alex griped, but pulled Piper even closer. This time Piper was very reluctant to resist, afraid if she might hurt the other woman. It fell on Alex's plan, however. Alex got the really warm snuggle she wanted. Eyes closed, she grinned into Piper's chest. "Hm."

Frowning, Piper stared up at the ceiling. Very shortly afterward, she could hear Alex's breathing fall into a peaceful rhythm. There was no funny trick. Alex had fallen fast asleep. The slow, soft breathing eventually lured Piper into slumber as well. It was the first, long and quiet sleep Piper had had in a while.


A/N: xoxo, and Florence and the Machine's Stand by me.