Chapter 28 - The Devil's Eyes
Days had passed. Completely silent, mournful days. No one had been able to utter a word of comfort to either Farkas or Z. The two had shut down as much as the other, sitting silently together while resting against one another closely. If it had been any other occasion it would have been considered sweet, but now it was just viewed in silent shock. It was sad that Death had brought them closer.
"Farkas?" Z whispered his name softly, staring at the star filled skies above. She could feel Farkas' warm arm around her shoulders, his cheek against the top of her head as she rested her own head on his shoulder. She had never felt so close to someone before, yet she knew she couldn't enjoy it at this time. She had to be there for Farkas as he was there for her. It was a balance she was finding a relief. She did not always have to act cold around him. It shocked her how fast this had crept up on her but she was not going to complain. She loved the big man wrapped around her. She loved him.
"Yes dear?" he whispered softly in return. He was still hurt; the sorrow was thick in his voice and sluggish actions. To anyone but Z or his brother it would seem he had shut down, but Z could see he still fought against the emotion. He had accepted it but refused to surrender to it. He had accepted he would be slow and tired. He had accepted the pity he would receive, even though both he and Z rejected it. Most of all, he had accepted Z's confused comfort.
"What would Kodlak do if one of us had died?" she winced at her own question, despite her soft and scared tone. She had managed to ignore the fluttering in her heart at the endearment Farkas had used for her as if it was second nature, but she did not ignore the way Farkas' arm tensed for a brief moment around her. Whether it was rage or sorrow, she could not tell.
"He would say that we brought this upon ourselves. Instead of allowing Skjor's death to be avenged by taking the lives of the ones who killed him, we attacked their order and wiped several camps out. We waged war and brought this attack upon ourselves. He would do nothing to avenge. He would only mourn and honour" Farkas informed finally, his voice strangely proud and strong in the fact. Z closed her eyes and sighed. She accepted the fact that she and Farkas were very different people, and nothing she could do would change him. It was one reason she admired him, loved him even.
"I was so scared it was you" Z stated. She closed her eyes fearfully as the images came back, the thumping in her heart and the closing of her throat. She felt Farkas pull away a little, she knew his shining eyes would be pinned on her face, watching every little move she made with heightened interest and judgement. She sighed and continued on before she lost her nerve.
"I was so afraid you had died when I didn't see you with Aela and Vale. I thought those bastards had taken you and all I could feel was loss. I coul… couldn't hate them enough to kill them. I couldn't hate enough to love. Is that enough for you? Am I?" She kept her eyes closed for a moment before she opened them and stared ahead into a flaming torch. She was afraid of the answer, but she knew she had to hear it before she made the biggest mistake of her life.
"It is more than I ever could have hope for from you" his sincere answer made Z catch her breath. She felt the cold in the pit of her stomach twist triumphantly. She knew what her loss would be now, and she regretted it immensely. She found herself wishing she was someone else. Someone who could accept the love offered and never look back. But she knew. She knew her loyalty would be her death. Her sacrifice.
"I love you" She whispered to him softly, lifting her hand to his throat in a gentle caress that would soon turn deadly. She could feel his pulse under her fingers. She could feel the slight movements of his throat as he breathed. She felt the vibrations as he spoke in reply.
"I love you too" his voice held no lies. It was the voice of honesty that Z knew she did not deserve. She closed her eyes for a moment before she spoke, allowing him to look her in the eye.
"I'm sorry" she whispered, then tightened her grip. She felt the cold band of metal that she had hidden around her finger; she felt the small needle pierce Farkas' skin, releasing her poison into his blood. She contained a sob as his eyes went wide. He knew what she had done instantly. His eyes held no anger or resentment towards her though, only a grim understanding.
"I love you too" he repeated again, his eyes remaining on Z's for a split second before they rolled back into his head and he fell limply to the ground. Z sat paralysed as she felt the warm arm slide from her shoulders, hand still trying to hold onto her. She felt the sense of loss build within her as Farkas grew further and further away from her realm of the living.
At least he would be dead when she committed the biggest betrayal to him she could possibly commit. Avenge Kodlak's death.
…..
She had nothing to lose sitting outside Driftshade Refuge. The snow embraced her form and turned her into its resting place, yet she did not move. She waited silently and waited well for dusk to fall and the full moon to rise. She was not there for vengeance on her behalf, but on her hearts. He was there to avenge Kodlak for Farkas, and the companions that had become her family.
Her heart beat faster as the night came on. Her senses increased to smell the simple lives she would end through the snow and stone. Her eyes saw things in the darkness as a Nord never would. She felt the cool as the black mist crept up her form and began to melt away, guiding her snow white fur over her body as she grew and morphed into her new shape with cracking bones and snapping muscles.
She looked down her wolf form, surprised she kept her mind in its entirety. She was snow white, with a single black line down her nose. Z assumed it ran down her back to her tail, when she saw the black line down her tail also. She was shocked to discover her gauntlets had grown to cover down the outside of her wolfish arms. She also had leather embracing her neck and down her chest right to the apex between her legs, saving her modesty.
"Interesting" she barked, amused she could understand herself. She smelt the fear spike in Driftshade, which only made her all the more eager to tear through them all for her loss.
"Farkas…" Again she mourned the loss she had caused, but it had been the only way. She looked up to the moon, seeing it shining the colour of her eyes. She couldn't help it anymore. She howled to the skies loudly, sealing the Silver Hand's fate.
…
"She belongs to Sithis, mad prince" The Night mother's voice was cold and furious, despite its ghostly aspect. Z groaned and buried her snout in the snow, trying to wash the blood of her first three kills away to clear her sense of smell.
"Ohho no. She's typically insane, slightly homicidal. She's mine" Sheogorath deployed his own voice with a chuckle. Z again rolled her eyes, staring at the moon that fuelled her.
"She is one of the…"
"Well, someone's going to let the cat out of the bag! Cat's hate bags, as I've said before. You know, she reminds me of myself at a young age. All I cared about was riding narwhales, and sleeping in honeycombs and drinking babies' tears"
"You truly are the Madgod" The Nightmother growled.
"Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind!" Sheogorath retorted.
"Can you take your argument out of my head!" Z finally whinned, scratching her snout with a large paw. Paw. It was an interesting change, yet it was one Z found strangely comforting. She did not wait for their answer as she ran into the large door blocking her way, dismantling it from its rusty hinges as she continued into the refuge to kill every Silver Hand member she saw.
…..
Pain. It was the first thing that registered in Z's mind as the staff hit her across her side. The wood splintered and broke from the impact, but it left the wolf whimpering for a moment. It never stopped Z's mind as she looked the room over, where the Silver Hand members lay dead or stood fighting. She ducked the swipe of a sword and launched, feeling her jaws close around the flesh of an unguarded arm.
The skin broke so easily under her large razor-sharp teeth. The flesh backed into her mouth, running along her sensitive tongue with the metallic taste of blood. She craved the taste as she shook her head from side to side, feeling the flesh tear around her teeth and savouring the screams of pain from the warrior.
She released him and swiped her paw, throwing him into the wall and hearing the bones snap upon impact. She did not wait to see if he was dead, she simply leapt and landed upon the other warrior in the room. One. Two. Three. She lashed in with her paws, tallons tearing the armor and flesh away like they were made of wisp wrappings. She continued to claw and snarl until she felt her claws scratch against the ground behind the warriors back. Satisfied she had torn through his chest she loped away towards the next room, already feeling the black mist seeping away from her body.
She was startled when her transformation into a human was complete. She wore her armor, which every dagger still in its rightful place. Her body however was covered in blood. Her mouth was filled with the metallic, sweet taste, her nails and hands felt grimey with blood and flesh that stained them. Her face and exposed flesh were stained crimson. It suited her just fine.
She retracted her steps quickly as she stood before the door. With a sigh she opened it, only to stare into the eyes of her own, personal devil and the moon of her life.
Her personal devil was not the most ugly creature, with evil horns and balding head. Her own personal devil had midnight hair, with streaks of grey teasing a few roots of midnight locks. Her skin was tanned, her hands bore no marks of a day's work. Her face was almost identical to Vale's, except the worn lines and sweet green eyes. Her ears were hidden, but Z knew them to be pointed. The woman was tall, especially for a Wood Elf.
"Z" The elf greeted her coolly, backed by more soldiers than Z knew were possible to hide and have move so quietly.
Z controlled her fury, although it drove her to tremble with its intensity. She saw nothing but this woman, holding a blade to Farkas' throat like she owned him. Z couldn't decide how she felt about Farkas surviving her attempt to murder him, only that her eyes were filled with unshed tears. She managed to ignore that side of herself as she glared at the Wood Elf and growled a simple name.
"Valana Valore"
