Twenty minutes later and they were all sitting at breakfast. Roderich hid a yawn and looked groggily at Matthew and Sadiq. "So Anita is here."
…
"Anita? Do I really want to know who that is?"
Matthew frowned, "that's not possible! I just wanted you and Gilbert here in reality. I didn't want the bad guy of my story coming through."
"WHAT?" Both Roderich and Gilbert looked over at Matthew in shock.
"Oh… maybe I should have mentioned that… Anita was going to be the antagonist in your story."
"WHY?"
"I get it," Sadiq smirked, "so she is jealous of their sexual feelings."
"Romantic feelings, yes."
"That's the same thing."
"No, it's not."
Gilbert raised a brow at Matthew, "Yeah, it is."
Roderich glared a bit at Gilbert, "no, they are completely different. Anyone can have… stirrings…"
"What stirrings?"
"Gilbert, I declare this conversation over."
"Declare all you want but they're still the same thing."
"Nein, they are not!"
Matthew nodded, "Roderich's right."
The Turk shook his head, "you are both wrong. They are the same thing."
"THEY ARE NOT!" Both Matthew and Roderich raised their voice in unison and caused the other two to laugh.
"What is so amusing," Roderich asked wearily.
Gilbert wrapped an arm around him and shook his head, "it's just that you both are such romantics."
"We both simply know better than to confuse bedroom activities for love."
"Mhmm. Roddy, I'm going to teach you something right here and now."
The Austrian blushed a bit and shrugged Gilbert's arm off, looking away. "I would much rather not have to learn whatever you have in mind. This is not appropriate breakfast conversation."
Gilbert forced the aristocrat to look at him and put the man's hand over his heart. "Sometimes, when those stirrings happen when a guy walks anywhere that the other guy has been or even has his thoughts roam over to the other, it's called affection. Then when there's all these awesome feelings that gather up inside a guy and threaten to send the guy running into the most supposedly unawesome situations that normally the guy would never run into, the only way that the person can come close to explaining how he feels is by taking that other guy into his bed and having as much sexual intercourse as he physically can until the guy is so full of his affections that it's impossible to ignore."
"GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT THAT WAS THE MOST VULGAR STATEMENT EVER MADE!" Roderich was blushing like mad.
"…so full of his affections…" Matthew was writing on a napkin and laughed, "that is brilliant. I need to fit that in somewhere."
If Roderich grew anymore embarrassed, he was going to explode. Gilbert pulled him close and hugged him, giving the man a reason to hide his face. "Don't forget the stirrings comment Roderich made."
"Right, right. I got it."
The Prussian winced a bit as Roderich hit him, "what? If he is writing about us, then he better get our dialogue right."
"Can it, Gil."
Everyone paused and stared at the man in shock.
…
"Did he just use…?"
"Kesesese~ Is someone getting used to all the slang of this century?"
"…Gilbert, don't make me find Anita."
"That's fine if you do, I still need to get her back for what she did to me and you." Gilbert was as arrogant as ever. "She is in dire need to feel my sword in her."
"…Pervert."
"Hmm? OH GOTT! COME ON SPECS! I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT AND YOU KNOW IT!" Gilbert looked at the other two.
Sadiq shook his head, "Interesting stirrings there, Prussian."
"HEY! SHUT UP! YOU KNOW I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!"
Matthew laughed and continued to write on that napkin. "Just make sure that it's your sword in her and not the other way around."
"GOTT VERDAMMT! COME ON! MATTIE, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TAKE MY SIDE!"
Roderich pulled away from him and turned, "I'm going to play piano while you three discuss sexually natured material."
"Come back in twenty minutes and we might have a harem going in the kitchen."
"Pfft, don't tease him too much, Sadiq."
"Specs! I won't be taking part in it, I swear!"
"Yeah, he's just going to sit in the middle of it all and feel stirrings."
"GOTT DAMMIT NEIN!"
Roderich left the room and the sounds of Chopin drifted from the living room.
Gilbert glared at the couple across the table, "you guys suck, you know that?"
"My sword's in my bedroom if you want to use it against Anita."
"That's taking it too far."
Matthew nodded in agreement.
"Get your minds out of the gutter. I meant metal sword. An actual blade."
Oh, the other two snorted a bit at their own thoughts and Gilbert nodded, "I need something along those lines. She's gute at fighting. Always has been. I shouldn't have taught her all my moves."
Matthew bit his lip to keep from commenting.
"So why did you?"
"Pfft, why else? She was little when I first met her and I always thought of her as a little sister until I found my little bruder, Ludwig. Until I found Ludwig, I would teach Anita to fight so that when she ran into trouble on the ocean, she could battle her way free."
"Huh…"
Gilbert ran a hand through his hair and sighed a bit, "I probably shouldn't have ignored the looks she gave me or all the obvious signs that she loved me. I just figured it was her being a kid. She's like my sister. It didn't make sense that she would want to get sexual about it."
"But…?"
"But nothing. She wants a hell of a lot more and I don't."
Sadiq looked over at Matthew, "you have one screwy mind, you know that?"
"Don't blame this on me! I just wrote it on paper! I didn't actually make Anita real!"
…
They both looked at Matthew drolly.
"Really?"
"She told me she jumped though the portal that Roderich and I fell through."
"I blame society for making me write novels."
Sadiq snorted and shook his head, "I blame nothing. It's crazy, but I have to admit that Gilbert and Roderich are growing on me."
"Pfft, I am on the other side of the table, smart one."
"It's a figure of speech."
"Alrighty then." Gilbert got up and nodded, "I can tell when a couple are about to eat at each other's faces. I'm just going to have at it on Roderich in the other room while you both enjoy the kitchen." He picked up the jam from the table and winked provocatively before running out of the room.
"What the maple was that supposed to mean?" Matthew looked after him and Sadiq smirked.
"That means I now owe you nothing and we have the whole morning to ourselves."
"Hmm?" Matthew looked at him before his mouth opened in a silent 'oh'. "Let me just put my notes with my rough draft."
"You have approximately twenty seconds and counting."
~.~
A/N: Crack pairing is ridiculous. XD I just got so tired of FranceXCanada or AmericaXCanada. Plus the TurkeyXCanada story here on FF is AMAZING!
Yes, you may smack me if you know me for the terrible long innuendo part of this story.
