Ste leant against Brendan's car, with Paddy next to him, staring at the floor, as they both waited for it to end. Everything to end.

"Is he gonna kill him?" Paddy asked, in a shaky voice.

Ste didn't answer. He couldn't acknowledge what was going on, but nor could he lie to Paddy. Not after everything that had happened to them. He looked worriedly at the door, then away, hoping not to think about what was going on on the other side.

"Are you alright?" Ste asked eventually.

Paddy nodded jerkily, but Ste realised he was shaking.

"Come here," Ste said, putting an arm around his shoulders.

"I'm fine," Paddy mumbled, embarrassed.

"It's OK. I was scared too," said Ste, kindly. The kid didn't need to pretend to be manly.

Paddy grumbled.

"I've never wanted to run and hide more," Ste added, almost to himself.

Paddy let himself be hugged by the one arm on his shoulders, and leant his head against Ste's shoulder. Ste let himself relax properly, feeling his exhaustion. Brendan was here, Brady would be gone from their lives, and Paddy not only liked him, he was actually letting him comfort him. He had even come back to this awful place after escaping in an attempt to help him. Which was bloody stupid, but very brave. They just needed Brendan to end it, and they would be gone. This would be over, and life would be better than it had ever been.

"What did you do?" Paddy asked, suddenly, breaking the silence.

"What?" Ste asked, distractedly.

"What you said, you know," Paddy replied, and Ste's heart sank, "when you said I didn't know what you'd done? So I could escape?"

Ste had an image of Brady on top of him.

"Nothing," he said, but knew that wouldn't be enough. He knew his body had tensed. He knew Paddy wouldn't accept that as an answer.

Paddy hadn't moved his head, but Ste knew he was going to ask.

"Did you sleep with him?"

"Don't tell your Dad." He couldn't help saying it. He'd just started imagining something wonderful, and this could ruin it. Brendan probably wouldn't blame him, wouldn't hold it against him, not really, but it would be like a nasty stain, spreading, ruining their happy future. A cancer, growing and poisoning them all. He didn't regret it either. He almost wanted to hit Paddy for coming back, for almost making it worth nothing, but it was the only thing to do. Brady would have forced it anyway.

"I mean," he continued, "he doesn't need to know. I mean, he'll probably say, but…"

He didn't know what to say. Could he really explain this to Paddy? Paddy's loyalties were to his Dad. As they should be. He had no reason to be loyal to Ste, not if Ste was lying.

"I won't say anything," Paddy said. His voice was quiet, but Ste could tell it was genuine. "You did it for me, didn't you? To help me and protect me."

"Yeah," Ste confirmed.

"You did all of this for me," said Paddy, head drooping, "he used me to get you into the boot. Did he do that to get you into the car before as well?"

Ste thought about what to say carefully before he said it. "You mustn't think any of this is your fault, Paddy. This was all him. He was crazy, like, proper mad. None of it's your fault."

Paddy looked at him strangely, "I…"

The door of the house opened and Brendan stepped through it. Ste had felt like he'd never see his lover again more than once in the last day. His feet moved by themselves, straight to the taller man, who was moving with equal intensity to him, until they were close enough to wrap their arms around each other and cling. Brendan's arms felt so good and strong.

Maybe if he didn't think about what Brendan had just done, Brendan wouldn't need to think about what Ste had done during the night.

One of Brendan's arms released him, and he was confused for a moment, then realised he was beckoning Paddy over. He turned, expecting Paddy to have the relief that he did on his face. Paddy didn't. He was frowning, and glowering at them.

It felt a bit like being stabbed in the heart after that closeness they'd just had. He leant back into Brendan for a moment longer, and clung on that little harder.

"Are you alright?" Brendan asked quietly. He nodded.

"You?"

"Yeah," sighed Brendan. "It's over."

Ste nodded. "I love you," he announced, unnecessarily.

"I love you, too," Bren whispered back.

Paddy had got into the car, in the back, and didn't even look at them again. The sight stirred up more worries for Ste. He'd let himself hope again, that Paddy didn't hate him, that Paddy actually liked him, and cared enough about him to come back for him. They should be in a wonderful place now. But they'd gone backwards, back to when Paddy could barely look without glaring, where he hated Ste for being with his Dad.

It was what he'd done with Brady. It had to be. Paddy thought he'd betrayed Brendan. But it was the opposite. Ste would do anything for Brendan, just as he knew Brendan would for him. He hadn't been able to kill Brady, but he could protect Brendan's son from him. He had used the only weapon he'd had left to protect someone Brendan loved, just like he knew Brendan would have done anything to protect Leah and Lucas.

Maybe he could explain that to Paddy.

Brendan led him to the car, and Ste had to laugh when he saw the window.

"What happened to that?" he asked.

"It gave me a funny look," smirked Brendan. "Want to go in the back?"

Not particularly, Ste thought, seeing Paddy glowering at the back of a seat, but nodded, and sat beside the teen.

He should have been more worried, or tried to talk Paddy round, but he didn't know where to start.

"I won't be much company," Ste said, to no one in particular. "I'm shattered, me."

"Yeah, both of yis get some sleep, yeah?" Brendan called over his shoulder as he got in the driver's seat. He turned the ignition, and they were all away from that place.

Ste didn't remember the journey. He was asleep before they hit the main road.