A Winter Lady For A King.

Chapter XXVIII: Visions In A Distant Land.

She felt like she was waking up in another life as she opened her eyes. That morning was not different from all the others and, yet, it was not the same. Éomer was still sleeping beside her and, for the first strange time, she did not feel abandoned in his presence. An invisible protection surrounded her, but her hesitation was still deeply rooted in her skin. Sitting up in her bed, Eihhlin realized a soft rain was falling from the uninvited clouds that hid the sunlight from Edoras.

Her feet touched the stone floor and she shivered with such contact. What was happening to her? Why was she so aware of everything around her? She had never let her inner questions assault her mind, but, in that rainy morning, there was nothing she could do to silence them. Standing up, Eihhlin walked to the mirror to, once again, face her reflection. Her eyes caught her immediate attention: they still had the same colour and shape, but they were not the same anymore. She could swear those were not hers if she didn't know she was standing in front of her own image. When had it happened? Why hadn't she noticed it before? New doubts were trying to conquer her soul, so, even though she couldn't erase them, she ignored them. She knew she would never find answers and letting those questions torment her wouldn't lead her anywhere.

He watched her as she chose which clothes she would wear that day. Éomer had pretended to be asleep because he didn't want to startle her and make her feel embarrassed. Captured by the delicacy of her body, he saw her undress and get dressed again and tried to imagine his life without her, which was the only impossible mission for the fearless king of Rohan. While he wished that moment to last forever, Eihhlin ran her fingers through her hair, preparing it for the usual braid.

-Don't. –Éomer said from the bed, letting his wife know he was not asleep. She turned around surprised and did not know what to say: being caught in his eyes made her feel like a naked tree of her beloved winter.

-As you wish, my lord. –she replied as her hair fell down her shoulders like a cascade of silk and fire.

Her eyes avoided his as she walked away from the mirror and to the window; Eihhlin did not know what to do. Danger had left the king's body and Rohan and she had no other task to accomplish now. There was no need to be constantly near Éomer anymore. But why didn't she want to leave the room? She could not explain the unseen force which kept her standing by the window and the unstoppable interrogations would not let her mind rest.

-Eihhlin? –he called, interrupting her thoughts. She turned around to face him and a sudden and strange light seemed to fill her soul when she looked into his eyes.

-I'm sorry. I… –she started to apologize, but he didn't let her finish her sentence. The king knew she would not give him time to reply and would immediately run out of the room, but he took the opportunity to speak first.

-What are you going to do today? –Éomer asked, showing his obvious interest in her activities.

-Well, I'm… I'm going to carry on with my studies in the library. –the queen answered in her timid voice. –Unless you need me, that is.

-I can… help you with that. As you can see, I don't have anything to do here. –he stated, smiling to eliminate her discomfort. She remained silent for a minute, unsure of what to say. Even though a faint voice in her mind told her to stay, Eihhlin did not want to spend so much time with her husband.

-Alright. –was the answer which finally escaped her lips. She immediately regretted that single lost word, but it was too late to go back. –But you have to eat first. Is there anything you want in particular?

-Anything you choose is fine. –Éomer answered calmly. His wife simply nodded and graciously exited the room.

He watched the soft raindrops falling outside Meduseld from his bed and, in a way he could not find words to explain, he felt them washing away all the remains of pain in his soul. He was finally home and Eihhlin was still there, closer than ever. The king was not alone in his fight anymore; this time, she was listening and blindly asking for help. She had changed; they had changed. In all the stories he had been told as a child, he had heard a war was the ultimate challenge: it could forge the greatest and strongest love in the hearts of a man and a woman or it could lacerate their skin with the pain of oblivion. Éomer had never been sure of what it meant until that solitary moment. The sun was timidly dissipating the winter clouds in Eihhlin's life and letting the flowers of her beauty and youth blossom.

Her steps were silent as she walked down the hall, holding the king's breakfast in her hands. Her mind was calm, but she knew that state of silence wouldn't last. She would be attacked by those endless questions soon and there was nothing she could do to change it. Seeing Háma coming from the opposite direction towards her broke her comfortable moment of solitude and she wondered if he was bringing bad news.

-Good morning, my queen. –he said politely.

-Good morning. –she repeated. –What happened?

-Oh, nothing, my lady. I just came to report our soldiers' condition, but I can return later if now is not a good occasion. –Háma answered, seeing the evident concern in the queen's eyes.

-How are they?

-Well, all the wounded men survived. Some of them will not be able to fight anymore, but they're all out of danger. –the doorward informed her.

-That's good. –Eihhlin stated, clearly relieved.

-Their families are very grateful for your kindness, my lady. –he said, carefully choosing his words.

-They don't need to be. Those men serve their people and their king with extraordinary bravery. There is no reward that can pay that. –she replied. Háma was standing before a new woman; not the one frightened by people's stare, but a solid queen who performed her duties. Not because she had to, but because she wanted to. –Counsellor Hetal will be waiting for me in the library. Go to him and tell him I won't be able to meet him today. Instead, I want him to help you write a report about those families' situation: where they live, what they need, whether the soldier will be able to work soon or not, everything. Our work is far from being finished.

-Of course, my queen. –Háma assured her. With a silent nod, Eihhlin walked away feeling like a heavy burden had been lifted from her shoulders.

The soft sound of the door being opened made Éomer's thoughts return to the royal chambers. The queen approached the bed and placed the tray on his lap as his eyes studied every inch of her. Then, she sat down on her chair and did not say anything. He frowned, seeing she would not share the meal with him.

-What about you? –the king asked, worried about his beloved wife.

-I already ate something in the kitchen, my lord. –Eihhlin answered in her calm and polite voice.

-Oh… –he said, trying to hide the disappointment in him. The minutes passed as he ate and he could see she was ill at ease. –Which historical events are you studying right now?

-Well, I just started reading about the Long Winter. –she said timidly, fearing what she knew was not enough.

Éomer had a much more interesting way of telling and explaining the history of Rohan than Hetal and, for the first time since they had met, the thirteen years that separated them finally touched her mind. She knew nothing of life whereas he had lived and seen moments she could only dream of and imagine. The images of his narration were alive in front of her eyes and full of details; she felt like she was living Rohan's history through the king's words. He was secretly filled with happiness as he saw her genuine interest and realized how much she had been deprived of in Vathinia. Her education had been limited to the basic reading and writing and had emphasized the importance of being a submissive wife. She had already told him how her life in her country had been since the day she was born, but only now he could understand the dimension of Idrios' tyranny towards his daughter.

The hours passed and the spring of day was soon gone. They had been lost in telling and learning and hadn't noticed time passing by. Realizing her body ached from sitting in the same position for such a long time, Eihhlin stood up and turned around to see it was not raining anymore.

-It stopped raining. –she stated with a certain melancholy in her voice.

-Yes, it did. –Éomer confirmed, unable to look away from her.

-I… appreciate what you did for me today. –the queen said, facing him. –But I think we should not repeat it, my lord.

-Why not? –he asked, confused. He could see a faint red colour in her cheeks as she tried to avoid his gaze. Grabbing her hand, he gently made her sit down next to him on the bed. –Eihhlin?

-Because I can't help but to compare Rohan's achievements with Vathinia's and… –she couldn't find words to continue. Having no pride in her father's reign was an ancient sorrow of her soul.

-What is it? –was his soft question. It was obviously a disturbing matter to her and he wanted to help her, to let her know he was there.

-Our… inexistent role in the War of the Ring is something I just can't forget. –Eihhlin said after a while. –Rohan fought courageously while Vathinia… did nothing.

-Their army had been decimated and the people were devastated by famine. –he replied. –No one blamed them for that.

-No, you don't understand. –she objected, keeping the coldness in her face and voice. –My father didn't want to participate. He was sure Sauron would win and kept what he called a "neutral position". Then, should Mordor win, he would offer them his loyalty and services.

-Idrios was a… traitor? –Éomer asked, incredulous. Looking into her eyes, he saw the pain which filled them and immediately tried to ease the tension. –I mean…

-Yes, you can say that. –Eihhlin interrupted. –I'm ashamed of it.

-You don't have to be; it's not your fault, Eihhlin. –he replied, caressing her cheek with his fingertips. Where had she come from?

The words died and, after an eternity, she stood up again with no trace of emotion in her features. He was unable to read her feelings, but he was glad he had taken her out of Vathinia in time. A wild desire for Idrios' death started growing in his heart and he asked himself if he would be able to control his emotions the next time they met.

-Do you mind if I go outside for a moment? –she asked, pretending their conversation had never happened. –I haven't been in the garden for a while.

-Go. Don't worry about me. –Éomer answered with a comforting smile. The queen walked away to the door, her steps the only sound in the room. Opening the door, she stopped and turned around as the shiver of change ran through her body.

-Thank you.