"The loneliest moment in someone's life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly."

― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Early AN: I highly suggest you listen to Kiss Me Slowly by Parachute while reading..

just putting it out there...


Peter and Gwen take the quick ride back to their home. It's quiet, and Gwen just makes quick glances to Peter. They take the elevator up, and even then it's quiet. Much to there surprise Ms. Stacy is home when they get back, she's sitting on the couch drinking a glass of wine and watching a movie. "Oh, so you do still live here?" Gwen says upon seeing her, voice full of venom.

"I do." Ms. Stacy nods, not looking towards her.

"I'm going to go check on Simon." She whispers to Peter as they approach her door. He stays in her room as Gwen goes down the hall, and flips on a few lamps. She's gone for maybe 2 minutes, enough time for him to take his shoes off, and sit on the bed.

She comes in and there's silence as she takes of her shoes and puts them in her closet. She turns around to face Peter, and sighs.

"Peter. I think you should leave." Gwen says starring at him.

"I live here?"

"No.. Not like that.. You should leave me." Peter laughs a little, but when Gwen doesn't he realizes it's not a joke.

"Why would I do that?"

"Seeing you with Harry, and Mary Jane again.. It- it made me think." She says looking down to her lap. "Peter, you can't be happy with me. You're not happy." She shakes her head and looks to him. "But seeing you tonight, at ease. You looked so content."

"I don't see why us being happy for once is a reason for me to leave." Peter's more confused than he was at the beginning of their conversation. They were happy. It had been a hard few months, but things were getting better. He kneels in front of her and brushes her hair with his hands.

"For once, Peter, just for once. Don't you understand? That's not right." Gwen says, furrowing her brows. "You have no reason to be unhappy! You're young, you're smart, you're funny, you're gorgeous.. It's not fair for me to have this hold on you." She says gesturing towards her chair.

"Gwen, babe, we've had a hard few months, there's no denying that. It's starting to get better. Can't you see?" He puts his hands around her face. He tries to read her, but she's not even sad. She shows no signs of crying like Peter does.

"No Peter, it's not!" She yells, and pulls Peter's hands off her face. "Do you know how it makes me feel that I'm the reason your miserable? How it makes me feel to see how happy you could be?"

"Gwen! I'm only happy because I'm with you! Aren't you happy with me?"

"No I'm not!" She yells loud enough that they can hear her mother getting of the sofa. Gwen's jaw is clenched and her hands are shaking.

"Gwendy.. You don't mean that." He says. She's just angry, she had to be. Gwen's happy, right?

"I do!" She says. Gwen's face is covered in hot tears, and her normally straight bangs are messy and parted. "I do mean it!"

"I don't understand.." Peter mumbles. "I don't understand what's wrong Gwen. Please, talk to me about." He puts his hands back on her face and strokes her cheek with his thumb.

"Dammit, Peter don't touch me." She throws his hands off her face again.

"Gwen! Stop! You're getting better, I want to be here with you!"

"I'm not getting better Peter! Thank you for trying to believe, but we both know I will be stuck in this chair for the rest of my life!"

"We're going to find you a new thera-"

"It won't make any difference! I'm paralyzed! I have to accept it! It was all phantoms."

"What do you mean?"

"It was all in my head! Phantom leg aches, phantom itches, phantom orgasms, phantom feelings. It's not real Peter!" She says, voice breaking at the end.

"But- Gwen. You said it yourself- you believe it."

"I want to believe it! But it's illogical."

"Don't say that!"

"What? That it's illogical? Peter, I am never going to walk again. We bother know that!"

"We don't know that! After the accident the doctor said there would be a slight chance-"

"I won't make you linger on a small chance Peter! I want you to be happy. I want you to live a normal life! It's not going to get better, it's never going to be normal! I can't do things normal people can do! I can't sleep through the night Peter!"

"Gwen please!" Peter slides to the floor next to her. "I want to marry you, please marry me. You don't mean this."

"Peter stop!" Gwen begs. "Don't make this worse than it is! You knew it was coming! I know you've known for a long time."

"Gwen, I understand. You're dealing with depression, but please, please, let me help you through this."

"You don't understand anything!"

"Then help me understand." He says placing his head in his hands. His head is killing him, and he hates arguing with Gwen. "Let me do something about this."

"You've done enough." She says angrily.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You should go." Gwen wipes below her eyes.

"I'm not leaving Gwen." He says. She pushes herself away from him and towards her dresser. She puts the break on her chair and pulls night clothes.

"You should leave because you're sure as hell not sleeping in her." She says with a false toughness Peter sees right through. She changes shirts, and picks herself up to slide out of her skirt. Somethings wrong with her break though, because when she tugs on the material the chair slides from beneath her and Gwen is on the floor.

"Gwen!" Peter yells, jumping to grab her. Peter pulls her into his arms, but she squirms away from him. Gwen starts crying again, but it's not angry tears this time, it's embarrassment. "Baby." He says running his hand through her hair, and wrapping his other one around her waist.

"Let go of me!" She screams, turning around. She slams her fists into his chest and pushes him back. Thank's to his powers he doesn't feel a thing, but that doesn't stop her.

"Gwen! Let me at least help you get back in your chair." She pushes him away, then tries to drag herself away from him.

"Just leave." She says leaning her head against the wall. "Just leave." Peter, who has been with Gwen for almost 5 years, and had seen her go through hell and back had never seen her so withdrawn. He stands up and walks to the closet. He turns around to see Gwen struggling to get back in her chair. She finally gives up and rests against the wall.

"Gwe-" He tries again.

"I wish you would've let me die." Gwen says, so full of spite, and that does it for Peter. He just leaves Gwen against the wall crying, and gets a bag to get some clothes together. Gwen comes to realize what she's said and she's whispering apologies. "I'm so sorry Peter." She says softly. "I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry, Peter." She begins crying harder than before. "I'm sorry."

Peter doesn't reply he just continues packing, he slings on his duffle bag and backpack on and grabs his keys. He goes to the dresser, looking to Gwen who's still on the floor sobbing. His hands brush over smooth spandex, then quickly yank the red and blue suit from the drawer and into the bag. Gwen's eyes follow it the whole time. He walks towards the door, hand grasping the knob, then turns to Gwen one last time.

They stare at each other, drowning in the silence around them.

"Have fun." Peter says, finally allowing himself some small amount of bitterness. "Have fun letting yourself be miserable. Have fun staying up until 4 in the morning on your message boards, have fun with your movies and television shows." He pauses to sigh. "You're only making things worse Gwen."

He waits for a reply that doesn't come, he just wants a small beg for him to stay so he can. But there's nothing. She sits there. He nods, finally, and leaves the room into the hallway.

"Peter." He jumps slightly, frightened by the small voice. From the shadows of the hallway, a small figure appears.

"Yes, Simon?" Peter asks, not wanting to talk.

"Where are you going?"

"To my friends."

"Are you coming back?"

"I-" Peter starts, but stumbles.

"Are you leaving forever like Dad did?"

"Simon," Peter moves towards him, and sits on his knees so they're face to face, "I'll never leave you forever. Okay?" Simon nods, and Peter leans in to kiss his head. Even though the small hands clasp around him in a hug, Peter has never felt so alone.


Sorry for such a long wait, I have finals and other stupid stuff going on=\ I do have to say the hardest transition from writing graphic novels to writing like this is that throughout this whole chapters i kept wanting to put little authors notes about rereading older chapters haha

I hope this chapter broke your heart as much as it did mine.

Much love, comments are always highly appreciated:)