Title: Immolation (Part 28/100)
Prompt: "Beginnings"
Verse: G1 (AU)
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1021
Pairings: Inferno/Red Alert
Other Characters: Ratchet.
Warnings: Sticky.
Disclaimer: Do not own Transformers, or any of the official characters, do not get paid for doing this except with reviews.
Summary: They thought Inferno's recovery had already begun, but in fact it hadn't even started yet.
Notes: A continuation of my series of interlinked vignettes on the theme of Inferno being raped, and how he and Red Alert deal with it, centred around prompts from slash_100.
Look up Torkulon on TF Wiki. It's a planet of psychiatric apes. Srsly.
Groon – 1 hour.
Astrosecond - ≈.273 seconds
Orbital cycle: 1 day
Beginnings
Inferno was repaired once again to outwardly pristine condition, and fortunately the progress of his internal repairs had not been undone by his flight to the wilderness, though they had been delayed. Overall, even counting the grievous self-inflicted injuries, the physical setback had been minor compared to the emotional one the fire engine had suffered, both as a result of the interference of the human media, and his own unfortunate – though some would say understandable – reaction to it.
"We'll have to keep him here, Red," Ratchet told the other red and white mech standing nearby. "I don't know for how long. I've installed a tracking device, so we'll be able to find him again, if he should get out, but..."
"You should have installed the tracking device to begin with," Red Alert said. It was a rebuke that had been spoken with some heat previously, but now was only uttered as a tired reminder.
"I know," Ratchet agreed, "but Inferno's psychological profile has always been so stable, I guess I underestimated what he would do. In any case, it's the future we have to worry about. I want to keep him here under observation, with his motor relays disabled for a while yet until I can get a handle on his mental state. After that I would recommend he be kept in quarters, or even in protective custody in the brig if he continues to prove determined to harm himself..."
"And if that doesn't work?" Red Alert asked.
"We aren't equipped for long-term psychiatric care here, these are stop-gap solutions at best," Ratchet said. "If long-term care turns out to be what Inferno needs, there is one other solution, but you won't like it..."
Red Alert's hand tightened where it gripped the edges of Inferno's berth. "Torkulon."
"Advanced Cybertronian psychiatric knowledge is part of their portfolio, and for all I know they might be the last surviving repository of that information in existence." Ratchet didn't like the idea of sending one of their own to the distant psychiatric planet, but he realized that if Inferno needed care over a more extended period, it might be their only option.
"Couldn't we find a specialist on Cybertron? There must be some that are still alive."
Ratchet winced to hear the usually paranoid and often pessimistic Red Alert speak those words, which in their present circumstances were nothing more than a hallmark of his desperate state of mind. "I don't know, Red. A lot of medical specialists of all types became field medics during the war because every bot with even the smallest amount of physical repair skill was needed during the war effort. Unfortunately being field medics meant being on the front lines and you know what the survival statistics were, especially after the Decepticons abandoned honourable warfare and started targeting non-combatants..."
"You're not sending Inferno away."
"I hope we won't have to, Red."
"You're not sending him away!" Red Alert shouted. "He stood up for me when this same 'solution' of yours was proposed after what happened with Starscream – I'm not going to let you ship him off like damaged goods..."
Ratchet looked Red Alert in the optics. "Red Alert, I promise I will exhaust all other possibilities before anything like that is even considered, but if I believe it is necessary, I will recommend it to Optimus."
Red Alert wilted slightly, with a soft sound of despair. "I can't believe it's come to this, I can't believe we have to start over. Inferno and I were almost talking again..."
The CMO softened. "I know it's hard to begin again, but there's no reason you have to lose all the progress you made. You seem ready to fight for him against all comers, well don't stop fighting, not even if it's against Inferno himself."
"I don't know," the Lamborghini hesitated. "That doesn't sound like it would help him."
"Well, suppressing your true feelings because you're afraid of upsetting him more isn't going to help either of you," Ratchet answered. "You're hurt, and maybe even angry because of what he tried to do - I think he needs to hear that. I know you think he's got so many other problems that your concerns seem petty by comparison, but I think that's part of the reason he needs to hear from you so badly – he's so focused on what he's been through that he thinks he's alone."
"But I leaned on him so much before, isn't it my turn to carry a little of the burden?"
"There's carrying a little of the burden, and then there's taking it over completely. I think in the past there might have been a little too much of the latter in your relationship. I never said anything about it because you two seemed to have a handle on what you were doing..." And because, if Ratchet were to be completely honest with himself, Inferno acting as Red Alert's care giver in addition to his lover meant that the burden did not have to fall to someone else. "But it is an unrealistic way to go about things. You two are partners, and that means sharing, so just because Inferno might be doing a bit more leaning for the time being, doesn't mean that you have no one to turn to yourself. Inferno is stronger than you think... and so are you."
"It doesn't feel that way right now," Red Alert admitted in a small voice.
Ratchet moved around the berth and put an arm around the security director's shoulders, surprised when the other mech leaned into the comforting touch rather than stiffening as he would usually. "You don't have to feel strong in order to be strong," he said, giving Red Alert a brief squeeze before releasing him. "Shall we wake him up now?"
Red Alert stood up a little straighter, as though steeling himself for what was to come, then nodded.
