`To Love Ruto

A/N: Sorry for the long delay in uploading this. I've been having a bit of difficulty lately trying to write (both finding time and actually writing once I have the time). For which I have had an idea.


-Competition Time-

I have decided to write a one-shot that is something different to what I usually write, to try and get myself back into the flow of things. What will this one shot be? Well that is up to you guys and gals to decide.

Just send me a PM with an idea and I will pick several and start a poll on my profile to decide which one I shall write.

Requirements: Can be about anything. Just no Yaoi. Doesn't need to be a Naruto story. If I haven't seen the anime I'll read a quick wikipedia summary to see if I'd like it and if it wins the poll I will actually watch it.

Once a plot line has been chosen I will (eventually) upload it and credit the person who suggested it as well as sending a copy to the winner (if requested) so they can upload it on their own account if they would prefer and they are free to either continue the one shot as their own story or whatever they want.

To enter either send me a PM or a message on Google+ (Just search for Drake Wilson). Don't submit a review to enter this 'competition', I can't guarantee that it will be considered.

Hopefully this will help shake me out of my current slump.

Also people who are wondering about through his eyes, I'm still none-the-wiser why it was taken down. At some point I will reupload it after making a few changes but given my current issues with writing TLR, I wouldn't hold my breath on that being any time soon.

-End of Non TLR Related Stuff-


Anyway enough about that. This chapter nears the end of the Orochimaru Arc and also introduces some Naruto characters for the next Arc. If you don't recognise them, they are from an anime only Arc that I haven't actually seen so they will be OOC. Someone suggested the idea to me but I can't find the PM (or review) that mentioned it so I apologise that I can't remember your name.

For those of you who are fed up with the Haruna stuff, after this arc it won't really be mentioned again and this arc only has a few more chapters in it so hang in there. The next arc has considerably less angst in it.

Advance warning: This chapter ends with a cliffhanger. You have been warned.

Thanks for reading and as always, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or To Love Ruto.


Chapter 28: A Mile in her shoes

The door to the Uzumaki household creaked loudly, betraying Naruto's attempt to sneak inside without waking anyone up. It was four in the morning and he was just returning from another secret rendezvous with Yui. Whilst Yui was willing to admit to the others that her relationship with Naruto had become more intimate, she still preferred to keep their meetings a secret. Not that these secret meetings were going unnoticed but Yui appreciated the effort. Whilst he would never admit it, Naruto too enjoyed the 'danger' of the secret rendezvous whilst feeling satisfied in the knowledge he wasn't cheating on anyone. It was kind of the best of both worlds: a line of reasoning that Asmodea had been very proud of.

"Naruto!" Lala beamed at him as he entered the living room that was lit by candlelight.

"Lala?" Naruto smiled softly. "You're up late."

"Technically early," Lala corrected. "There is something I want to talk to you about."

"Oh?" Naruto looked around at the candles, "Are those for romantic purposes or are you about to tell me you've somehow broken the power to the house."

"Romantic of course!" Lala pouted, "Don't you have faith in my technical skills?"

"Of course I do," Naruto hugged her softly. "You are a genius after all."

"Right!" Lala leaned into the hug with a happy sigh.

"So…" Naruto released Lala, "What did you want to talk about?"

"You may notice I am getting a little larger…" Lala put her hand on her stomach. "And it might make me unattractive…"

"Nothing could make you less attractive to me...Er I mean you will always be beautiful in my eyes, not that you couldn't look less beautiful… I'm trying to say I love you." Naruto sighed.

"Someone's suffering from lack of sleep," Lala blushed slightly. "But even so… I want for us to bind before physical affection becomes complicated."

"Complicated?" Naruto chuckled.

"You might not want to make love to me because you might be worried about the twins."

"Why are your breasts tender?"

"Huh? Oh no!" Lala laughed, "I meant the twins!" She rubbed her belly.

"T-Twins?!" Naruto blinked.

"Oh? Didn't I tell you?" Lala blinked. "Mikado-chan checked me over and said that there were definitely two children." She looked worriedly at Naruto, "That… That won't be a problem will it?"

"No," Naruto reassured Lala, "It's just… Wow…" He chuckled weakly. "I wasn't sure if I would be able to raise one child right but two?"

"You'll be fine. You can always ask Papa for help!"

"Then do the complete opposite of what he says? Like hell I'm having my children married of to whoever wins a competition!"

"The suitor games only apply to the heir. Technically Momo and Nana are not part of the games but some people are still willing to fight you to try and claim them." Lala pointed out.

"Well… Wait a minute if the heir was male would there still be suitor games?"

"Of course." Lala nodded. "Only the women would be fighting over him rather than men fighting over me."

"Huh," Naruto frowned, "But what about the whole harem thing?"

"What about It? The heir is supposed to have a harem and the winner of the games is simply the husband. But don't worry!" Lala hugged him. "I only have eyes for you so I waived my right to have a harem!"

"I see," Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "And there is no way to end that tradition?"

"Papa could but he would face a revolt. It is traditional."

"And millions of dead people can't be wrong, right?" Naruto sighed heavily.

"Don't worry! Megal-chan and Lodon-chan will have the best father looking out for them!"

"Megalodon…" Naruto groaned, "You haven't given up on naming our kids that have you?"

"Hehehe…" Lala beamed at him. "I think it sounds so cool!" She had stars in her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto shook his head.

"But we are getting off track!" Lala pointed at Naruto. "Bind with me!"

"I see…" Naruto smiled softly. "So tonight then?"

"Nope!" Lala beamed. "Here and now!"

"But the others might be waking up soon."

"They are all having really pleasant dreams thanks to my latest invention!" Lala looked proud of herself.

"Oh?" Naruto chuckled. "Well I'll need some time to recover from my… Enthusiastic walk in the park. I'll need a few hours to recharge and…"

Lala pulled a chord on her dress causing it to fall to her feet, revealing her naked form in the flickering candlelight.

"...And I'm good to go." Naruto chuckled.


When the sunlight filtered in through the curtains a groggy Naruto staggered to his feet and made his way to the shower, still feeling a little dazed from the Binding. For a brief instant he was one in more than just the physical way with Lala. It was if the two of them were the same entity just looking from different perspectives, which was kind of weird when they climaxed as Naruto felt both. It was kind of unnerving when your brain was receiving messages from a body part you did not in fact possess.

Naruto groggily reached for his toothbrush and began to wash his mouth, slightly concerned about the strange taste on his tongue that he had woken up with.

"That good huh?" Momo walked into the bathroom and started to brush her teeth, surprising Naruto by not offering to shower with him. He gave her a confused look but Momo didn't notice before she sauntered into the bedroom. "Looks like someone is tired. Yui must have really exhausted him last night."

Naruto shook his head and set the shower going, sighing happily as the warm water soothed his aches and pains.

"Naruto if you don't wake up I'm going to have to have my evil ways with you~"

"I'm awake," Naruto grumbled as he started to lather his breasts and… Naruto froze and looked down. "W-what?!"

"Is something wrong Onee-sama?" Nana walked into the bathroom.

"Eh?!" Naruto stared at a mirror to see a shocked Lala staring back at him.

"Onee-sama?" Nana ran up to him. "Are you okay?"

"Lala!" Naruto raced towards the bed where a tried looking Naruto yawned cutely.

"Morning!" Lala cheerfully announced from Naruto's body before staring at Naruto (who was in her body) and letting out a cheerful victory cry.

"Er…" Kushina blinked as Naruto's body dived at Lala and glomped her. "Is binding really that good?"

"Hehehehe," Lala snuggled into her own breasts. "So this is what It feels like! I see why you like playing with them so much!"

"Naruto?" Nana looked horrified.

"Yes?" Naruto (in Lala's body) turned to face Nana.

"Wait a second!" Momo blinked. "You've swapped bodies?!"

"I know!" Lala grinned.

"Is this common?" Naruto asked whilst trying to pry Lala (in his body) away from his (well technically her) breasts which were sending not unpleasant signals to his brain.

"Nope!" Lala happily straightened up. "It is very rare! It basically means we trust each other completely and offered no resistance to the binding process."

"I see," Naruto frowned. "Can we go back? Not that I don't like seeing your naked body but it is kind of weird seeing myself like this." He indicated his body which Lala was inhabiting, complete with a Lala-like cheerful grin and trusting eyes.

"Unfortunately it will take a few hours before…"

"Your lying," Naruto blinked. "Wait… How do I know that?"

"Seriously Onee-sama?" Momo sighed. "Did you forget that the two of you were linked."

"Linked?" Naruto frowned, the expression looking weird on Lala's face.

"When you bound to each other you kind of setup at network, using your tails as receivers." Momo explained. "You can pick up on each other's feelings and to some extent read each other's thoughts, although admittedly in a very limited fashion."

"Oh," Naruto blinked. "But why did you lie Lala-chan?"

"Sorry," Lala pouted cutely (or at least tried to but Naruto's body didn't really pull the look off), "I thought it would be a good experience to have a few hours in each other's shoes, so to speak. Plus, it would help you bond with your daughters!"

"My daughters?"

"Well probably daughters," Mikado remarked as she entered the room, a cup of coffee in one hand and a croissant in the other. "Devilukians tend to have a 70% chance of giving birth to daughters and a 25% chance of giving birth to twins. I suppose the idea was if you had multiple women you only need one man to get them all pregnant and the Devilukian species was designed as a rapid growth army, if the records of the Arcangus and Damus are to be believed."

"Oh hey Mikado-sensei," Naruto glanced at her, "Going somewhere?"

"I've got a bit of medical emergency on my hands." Mikado smiled softly. "You guys may have time off of school until the whole 'Shower Room Video' incident is finally dealt with but I am still quite busy."

"Oh is there anything I can do?" Naruto offered.

"I'll wait until you're back in your own body." Mikado winked.

"I meant with your work."

"Oh no I'm fine." Mikado smiled. "Oshizu is helping me out and I think I have finally sorted out her artificial body. You should pay her a visit sometime."

"I'll try and make time." Naruto nodded.

"Well try not to get anyone else pregnant whilst I'm gone," Mikado joked as she left the room, happily sipping her coffee. "And no pretending to be Naruto to convince others to join the harem either."

"Muu…" Lala pouted.

"Seriously, please stop that." Nana grimaced. "It looks so wrong when it is Naruto's body making that face."

"Yeah," Naruto scowled as picked up a towel to cover Lala's body.

"That expression on Ane-ue is just as wrong!" Nana rubbed her temples. "Just change back please."

"So I suppose you want to change back?" Lala sighed softly.

"Yeah," Naruto nodded but was interrupted by a flash of light.

"Zastin?" Kushina blinked as the guard appeared.

"There is no time to explain!" Zastin grabbed Naruto (In Lala's body), "Come Hime-sama!"

"But I'm not…" Naruto started before the two were whisked away in a flash of light.

"Strange, that guy gets lost when getting milk but has access to a teleporter. Couldn't he just use that instead?" Kushina remarked.

"Zastin gets badly motion sick from using a teleporter so he only uses them in an emergency," Nana glanced at Lala as if waiting for an explanation.

"Well that happened," Momo remarked. "Care to explain Onee-sama?"

"Hmm…" Lala looked thoughtful. "I guess it could have something to do with the Suitor Games. There was supposed to be an official meeting today but it was hosted by one of father's friends who is single and tends to flip at the slightest mention of love etc."

"And she's hosting a meeting about all the people who want to marry you? Man talk about a bloodbath in the making." Momo shivered.

"Official meeting?" Kushina asked.

"Hai," Lala nodded happily. "Every so often I have to attend official events. Fortunately, Zastin and Mama have been able to explain my absence at all of the events since I moved in with Naruto. I guess they want proof I am still alive."

"Instead they got Naruto in your body? So…" Momo glanced at a calendar on the wall. "How long did the peace last for this time? A good eighteen years or so right? That's got to be a record for the Empire."

"Naruto isn't going to start a war!" Lala pouted. "He isn't that socially inept!"

"How about when some creepy alien tries to hit on you (well technically him but you get the idea)."

"...I think it is a new record," Lala admitted.


"But I…" Naruto tried for the hundredth time to convince Zastin that he was in fact Naruto in Lala's body. Every time he tried to say something Zastin cut him off. He had spent the last fifteen minutes being squeezed into a tight corset that made Lala's already impressive cleavage appear larger without actually crushing her stomach, so the twins would at least be unharmed. They had then put her in a billowing dress, to hide the baby bump (which to be fair was barely noticeable) one of the maids had explained. Naruto had tried to say they could just use Peke (who was feeling rather neglected at late since Lala wore normal clothes in the event of Naruto deciding that she looked better naked after a training session) but the maids just tutted and continued their work.

Naruto was then led by Zastin down a corridor lined with devilukian guards, all carrying ornamental looking halberds and strange bracelets on their wrists. Naruto wondered why they bothered with halberds when Lala assured him they all could fire energy blasts from their hands.

"I know you dislike spending time away from Naruto-dono but really, this is important," Zastin remarked. "You know how much of a pain the Lady is."

"The Lady?" Naruto frowned.

"Oh I get it," Zastin sighed tiredly. "You are pretending that you have bound with Naruto and swapped bodies with him to try and get out of the meeting."

"I'm not pretending," Naruto sighed heavily.

"A most convincing performance," Zastin smiled at him, "For a second it was almost as if Naruto-dono was with us but we both know that is a myth. As much as you may want it to be true, a love so pure that the two freely swap bodies just doesn't exist outside those books Nana-hime reads. Even the more… risqué ones..." Zastin muttered under his breath.

"What books that Nana reads?"

"Er… Forget I said anything." Zastin coughed awkwardly.

"How about if I tell you something that only Naruto would know?" Naruto offered.

"You gave yourself up when you referred to him as Naruto rather than I." Zastin looked pleased that he had outwitted Lala.

"Zastin you are an idiot." Naruto shook his head. "So who is this Lady then?"

"Very well I will play along Lala-sama," Zastin remarked. "Lady Terumi is one of the five great families of Deviluke. She is the one who offers the most financial backing to your father. She is a beautiful woman but has an… intense personality that deters anyone from seeking her favour and is worried that she will never find a husband, so make sure not to talk about Naruto in front of her. You always go all happy and dreamy which will probably piss her off, if you will excuse my language."

"Er sure?" Naruto blinked. 'Man… I hope I don't accidentally start a war.'

'Go on… Murder a few people. They were asking for it (probably).' Rather than the silky smooth voice of Asmodea, Naruto was answered by a voice that brought fire and destruction to mind. 'They dare to interrupt your time with something as trivial as this?! Slaughter them all for daring to dictate what a princess should do!"

'You are not Asmodea.'

'And you are not the sickly sweet princess. I am Satalin! Wrath incarnate! Do not mistake me for that whore!'

'Well aren't you all sunshine and rainbows."

"Wait a minute… You are the Seed. The one the princess likes… This is good. There is no way you can go through this entire event without starting a fight! Go forth and vent my fury!'

"We are here Lala-sama, remember to constantly tell Terumi-sama how pretty she is. She likes that." Zastin paused as they approached a door that looked as if it was chiselled from ebony in the style of a beautiful siren, beckoning them towards it. "Here we go." Zastin mumbled as he pushed open the doors. "Introducing the Heir of the Devilukian empire, Daughter of the High Priestess of the Charmian People and future master of all she surveys… Lala Satalin Deviluke the Third!"

'The third?' Naruto thought aloud as he stepped into the room.

'Lala the First was a bloodthirsty empress who reigned for about twenty five minutes before she was assassinated and isn't usually classed as an an empress. Lala the Second killed herself rather than go through the Suitor games. Kind of funny that there was a Damus Princess, the last of her kind, called Lalana Satale. She got executed by the Arcangus after they lost their heir, Naraku Arashi. The even funnier thing is how much you look like Naraku and she looks like Lalana. Your names are even kind of similar. Freaky huh?'

'You are surprisingly helpful.'

'I did you a favour now you do one for me and punch someone in the face.'

'Maybe later.' Naruto stepped into the room, feeling awkward wearing a dress and heels and even more so when the babble of chatter fell silent and everyone turned to look at him and kneel before him. He had wondered how he was finding it so easy to move in the heels but Satalin made an offhand remark about it being in Lala's muscle memory, so Naruto just let it go. Knowing how to walk in ridiculously high heels was the least concerning thing about this whole situation to Naruto right now.

"Lady Lala, it is an honour!" A woman walked towards her, through the bowing masses. She had beautiful red hair that covered one of her eyes and a very curvy figure. She kneeled at his feet kissing his (Well Lala's) hand. "I am glad you could attend my little event. You have been so hard to get a hold of lately."

"Lady Terumi," Naruto smiled weakly, "I am glad to see that the rumours of your beauty fail to fully describe you."

"Why thank you and you may call me Mei, Lala-sama." Mei stood up and the other guests took suit, all talking again whilst keeping an eye on the conversation between Naruto and Mei. "I must admit it is nice seeing such a lovely array of handsome men, shame they are all here for you though."

"I am sure that anyone of them would be honoured to be the recipient of your advances," Naruto tried his best to sound diplomatic.

"Oh you are just so cute," Mei sighed happily and escorted Naruto through the crowds to the table where a buffet was set up. "So I hear that the games are looking to go on for some time. It must be nice to have so many young and handsome men fighting over you. It must take a load off of your mind when it comes to your love life."

"I would imagine you are too young to be worrying about that," Naruto tried diplomacy. "I know that I wouldn't feel safe if you were near my fiancé."

"Oh?" Mei's eye light up, "You think this secret lover of yours would stray?"

"If he witnessed your attractiveness."

"Oh my!" Mei fanned herself. "I would very much like to meet this man who is not worried of a strong woman."

"You are standing next to a man who is not worried about being next to a strong woman. Unlike my sister you will probably find someone. My sister on the other hand, she will never get married." One of the guards flanking her made a comment under his breath that unfortunately all she heard was 'She will never get married.'

"Aoi," Mei smiled at him. "Shut up before I kill you."

"Y-yes Ma'am." The guard went rigid and pale.

"I am sure you are much too busy to pay a visit to such a simple planet." Naruto laughed weakly.

"Terumi-sama has to maintain an active social life in order to fulfil her duty." Aoi informed Naruto. "She is struggling with the demands of her of late."

"My duty… Are you implying that getting married is my duty and that I am failing?!" Mei growled.

"Eh?!" The poor Aoi looked flustered. "I meant as one of the biggest financial backers of Gid's Empire you are required to visit many…"

"Shut up before I kill you."

"Y-yes Ma'am." Aoi repeated himself.

"Still," Mei picked a glass of wine from a passing waiter's tray and (after eying the waiter's shapely rear for a few more moments than Naruto felt comfortable witnessing) started swirling the glass of wine. "It would a failing on my part not to get acquainted with the possible future ruler of Deviluke. You should have a word with your old friend. I do hear the 'strongest suitor' is most anxious to check that you are not held against your will."

"Ah," Naruto smiled weakly. "Well… I'll be sure to send her a message at some point. I am a little busy at the present time."

"Oh?" Mei smiled, "And what is the princess and Heir of the Devilukian Empire doing these days that is so important? Lounging around being worshipped by her fiancé?"

"Of course not," Naruto defended Lala. "I have… Er… Very important research underway."

"Indeed?"

"Yes."

"May I ask as to what the research entails?"

"W-well the most recent breakthrough was some… Good Night tablets."

"Sleeping tablets?"

"Not just sleeping tablets. They allow you to dream of whatever your heart desires," Naruto tried to recall everything Lala had told him about her invention. "I think they could be really useful to people, especially people like you who must be rushed off of their feet at all times."

"Are you implying that I would need such a thing to ever know what a relationship is like?"

"Eh?!" Naruto stepped back in shock. "I would never say such an obvious lie. I meant it must be hard to find time to sleep with all the work my… Papa probably makes you do."

Mei stared at Lala's face, her usual cheerful manner was missing (due to Naruto not being that naturally cheerful) but in this case it only solidified the impression that Lala was indeed honest.

"I apologise, with certain people making subtle digs at my age and single status I tend to see insults where there are none." Mei bowed her head. "Forgive me princess."

"Oh there's nothing to forgive!" Naruto did his best Lala impression which seemed to do the trick.

"I am glad," Mei glanced across the room. "I should let you mingle."

"Thank you," Naruto smiled as Mei, flanked by her two guards walked away.

"Lala-sama," Zastin walked up to him carrying a small tray of drinks.

"Are you waiting tables now?"

"Yes," Zastin coughed, "It is my duty to ensure no harm befalls you and as such I have decided to mingle with the catering staff!"

"Aren't you a famous master swordsman? Shouldn't quite a few people recognise you?"

"I hadn't thought of that…".

"What am I supposed to do here?" Naruto sighed.

"Just be seen," Zastin smiled.

"Thanks," Naruto sighed as Zastin walked away. "I just hope Lala is treating my body well."

'Can she really put it through more damage than you yourself do?' Satalin remarked dryly.


"I'm a helicopter!" Lala declared as she waved her hips nakedly, the limp Naruto junior following her movements.

"I am finding this way more amusing than I should be," Momo smirked.

"I don't get why there is all this hair though," Lala scowled at Naruto's crotch. "Doesn't he shave here like we do? It is driving me mad!"

"If I were to hazard a guess I would imagine that his member gets in the way and I've heard that men are really protective of that area. Apparently blows there really hurt. Not quite as much as childbirth but still pretty painful."

"So this would be good training for childbirth!" Lala realised.

"Don't damage the goods." Momo warned her. "Remember it isn't your body."

"Oh please," Lala pouted. "Naruto's is probably sneaking into a toilet so he can play with my body! He can't get enough of it." She proudly declared.

"Sometimes she really makes me want to hit her," Kushina remarked dryly.

"Hm…" Momo nodded in agreement. "It's a shame that I won't get to borrow Naruto's body."

"Why not?" Risa asked.

"Well," Momo frowned. "When I bind with Naruto, I would need Lala and Naruto to both fully accept me into the network without any reservations. Naruto might but Lala loves Naruto too much to allow anyone the same amount of access as herself."

"Hello?" A knock on the door followed Mikan's voice. "Is everything okay?" She opened the door. "Breakfast was a good half hour ago and…" She froze seeing the naked Naruto in front of her.

"Hi Mikan-chan!" Lala waved. "Look I'm a helicopter!"

Mikan passed out with an unceremonious thud.

"Oops," Lala stuck her tongue out.

"You'd better get dressed." Momo sniggered as Nana and Yami helped the unconscious Mikan out of the room, Yami pausing to glare at Naruto's body.

"I would be careful princess, It appears the ecchi nature of Naruto-san's body is infecting you."

"Oh," Lala pouted as Momo threw some clothes at her.

"Get dressed. Yui will be here shortly and the last thing we need is for her to see you flashing everybody."

"Muu…"

"And please stop pouting in Naruto's body. It looks wrong."

"Okay…"


Rito sighed heavily as he walked down the street with a suspiciously cheerful Kenichi. He never realised how much of his life revolved around school as now that it was closed, he found himself with far too much free time. Free time he had tried to put to use by working out but after a disastrous meeting with Haruna and her sister, Rito had decided that it would be best to back off for now, at least until Haruna's big sister stopped pulling out a Taser whenever she saw Rito.

"Hm," Kenichi glanced at the down Rito, "What is with you? Aren't you brimming with the energy of youth? We might not have another week off school! The reports say that the principal is almost cleared of all charges! There truly is justice!"

"I'm not sure that the principal not getting punished is justice…" Rito dead panned but Kenichi was having none of it.

"He was falsely accused!"

"Of a crime he might have very well committed." Rito chuckled, "Let's be honest he isn't a saint."

"Well whatever," Kenichi grinned. "With the weather being so nice I thought I would do you a favour!" Kenichi grandly gestured to a large indoor swimming pool. "All the girls will probably be in there!"

"How do you know that?"

"I may have possible overheard some girls talking about it," Kenichi waved dismissively. "Including Haruna."

"H-Haruna-chan?" Rito blushed briefly.

"And her hot older sister!"

"...Oh." Rito faltered. "I... Uh… Have other plans sorry."

"What could be more important than this?"

"Special training with Naruto?"

"Oh! Say no more." Kenichi nodded sagely. "Good luck, fellow apprentice!" He slapped Rito on the back before racing into the swimming pool.

"To be so carefree…" Rito sighed heavily before slowing plodding along the pavement, kicking a pebble across the floor. "Maybe… If I use Kenichi as a shield I might get close enough to Haruna-chan to be able to talk to her!"

"Talk to me about what?"

"W-what?!" Rito span around to see a curious Haruna, with her elder sister nowhere in sight.

"I'm glad I ran into you," Haruna bit her lip. "There was something I had been hoping to ask you."

"Y-yeah?" Rito gulped.

"Oh it's too embarrassing." Haruna covered her face.

"Sarenji-chan?"

"Please call me Haruna Yuuki-kun."

"H-Hai Haruna-chan!" Rito beamed at his crush.

"Oh my," Haruna blushed crimson. "It sounds so strange hearing you call my name like that."

"Hahaha," Rito rubbed the back of the head. "It… It is a little wierd isn't it."

"Yes… But not a bad wierd." Haruna looked around. "I have something to ask you… In private."

"P-private?!" Rito felt the roof of his mouth go dry, "I… Er… Sure."

"Great!" Haruna tugged Rito with a suspicious level of strength, although Rito was too busy trying to quell his rapidly beating heart to notice as Haruna lead him down the street just as Haruna's big sister left the swimming pool with a happy sigh, tailed by her real younger sister.

"Geez I was hoping for some relaxing time to myself," Akiho sighed as she walked out of the swimming pool, Taser in hand. "I can't believe that Yuu-kun would track me down on my day off!"

"Onee-sama… You have had all week off," Haruna trailed after her sister.

"And to make matters worse that damn monkey boy showed up," AKiho sighed. "Hey…" She squinted at a familar red haired youth in the distance. "Is that the little pervert?" She raised the Taser as if trying to warn the distant figure. "Who is he with?"

"I can't tell," Haruna bit her lip. "It looks like a girl…"

"Kind of looks a bit like you," Akiho snorted. "Well so long as he isn't harassing you," Akiho lead the way home.

"Yuuki-kun isn't like that!"

"All men are like that," Akiho remarked off-handedly. "Yuuki-kun, the monkey boy… Even Yuu is a sexual deviant."

"Onee-sama!" Haruna blushed.

"Oh hush, your a big girl." Akiho smiled. "The important thing is not to give them too much you know? Keeps them interested. They are only after sex so don't just give it to them. Make them pay through the teeth!"

"Onee-sama is starting to sound more like an expensive courtesan."

"Hey! I don't sell my body… Well… At least not to anyone. I have to like them before i even think of letting them try and buy my favour." Akiho patted her hand on a designer handbag. "This bag probably cost Yuu two months savings yet he still bought me it on the off chance I might sleep with him."

"And did you?"

"Of course not!" Akiho looked embarrassed. "You know… Love is kind of important."

"I'm glad." Haruna smiled.

"Geez, you with that innocent sheep look. That's the kind of look that has wolves like that Yuuki boy sniffing around you. Never forget mum's warning; All men are wolves!"

"Even Uzumaki-kun?"

"Even him," Akiho nodded. "But… At least he has some good points as well." She titled her head. "Like a cute puppy wolf that you want to tease~"

"Yuuki-kun has good qualities too," Haruna defended the boy.

"I'm sure he does," Akiho patted Haruna on the shoulder in the most patronising manner.

"Onee-sama!"

"Ahaha!" Akiho laughed at her little sister's indignation and whistled a happy tune.

Haruna paused, glancing at the side street that Rito had just run down before shaking her head and following her big sister, trying to ignore a voice in the back of her head that was telling her to follow Rito.

Meanwhile Rito was struggling to calm himself down. The Haruna holding his hand seemed to be leading him towards the seedier district, where all the love hotels could be found. He was 100% sure that Haruna wasn't taking him there but then again she was acting a little strangely. Could this be the night? He was jerked from his thoughts when Haruna suddenly came to a halt in the middle of an alleyway.

"I can't hold back much longer," She gasped huskily before kissing Rito passionately, the red haired youth freezing in shock as Haruna's tongue forced it's way into his mouth and she ripped apart his shirt and started running her hands across his bare chest.

"Mmph?!" Rito pushed Haruna away panting, every part of him was screaming at him for doing this but deep down he knew that Haruna was not the kind of girl to do this. "What are you doing?"

"Don't you want me?" Haruna sucked her finger.

"I… Er…"

"Because it looks like you do~" She rubbed her crotch, where his body's natural reaction to a beautiful girl kissing and fondling him made itself known.

"S-Sairenji!" Rito gasped at the sensation. "This… This isn't like you…"

"I need you inside me." Haruna started to undo Rito's belt, causing the red haired boy to pass out from a severe nose bleed. The last thing he saw was a female in a lab coat with strange piercing yellow eyes stepped into his vision and sighing.

"You were supposed to seduce the other human…" The woman fiercely hit Haruna to the floor and wiped the blood from her knuckles on her coat. "Oh well. This one might prove useful to me." The woman smiled a reptilian smile. "Sweet dreams human. We are going to have so much fun when you wake up."


'Give into your hate… You must destroy them all!'

Naruto managed to avoid rolling his eyes as he walked along the dance floors, smiling innocently at people who gave him polite bows and smiles. Several young aliens wandered up and asked to dance, but Naruto kindly rebuffed them whilst memorising their faces for when he was back in his own body.

'Strange as it sounds I much prefer you telling me to kill everyone instead of As-chan telling me to have sex with everyone."

'Well you can do that too, just make sure to kill them. Before or after, doesn't bother me."

'Are your entire people messed up in the head?'

'Pretty much. We Damus have gazed into the Realm of Dreams and seen perfection. This poor excuse for a reality is but a cruel mockery of what lives we could lead. So we kind of do whatever the hell we want just to spite reality back.'

'...What?'

'Do you not know of our origins?' Satalin scoffed. 'I should punch Asmodea in her ovaries.'

'Have you told Lala all about your people's origins?"

'Why would I do that? She would want to know that. Maybe if she killed a few people every now and again I might consider telling her stuff like that. Unfortunately, almost all of my hosts are pacifists. Just as almost all of Asmodea-chan's are prudes.'

'I am not a prude.' Naruto deftly side stepped a strange octopus looking alien who tried to lift her dress with a tentacle before 'accidentally' tripping a waiter who crashed into the aforementioned tentacle monster.

'The very fact you are in a female body and did not want that tentacle monster to have his way with you makes you a prude by Damus standards.'

'Your standards are pretty messed up. By Earth standards I am kind of a player I guess? I do technically have several girlfriends."

'Oh yes. Your harem.'

'I don't have a harem.'

'Sure you don't. Whore.'

"I am glad you got your ass handed to you by some great destroyer.'

'Meh. At least we took down those Arcangus fairies with us!'

'Didn't you both get wiped out by the same great destroyer?' Naruto struggled to recall Asmodea and Raphael's lecture on the great destroyer.

'Well yeah but since we made her that makes it our kill.'

'Wouldn't it also make it the Arcangus' kill as they helped build this great destroyer?'

'...Damn didn't think of that.'

'I get the feeling you don't think about much other than punching things.'

'I also thinking about stabbing, cutting and exploding things. But I digress. That group of Devilkin over there have been staring at you for some time.'

'I noticed.' Naruto glanced at a small group of Devilukians stood off to one side of the ball. A tall elderly devilukian with scraggly brown hair and a red headband that kept the worst of his hair from his eyes which were scanning the hall, spending far too much time on Lala. He was wearing loose fitting robes as opposed to the expensive outfits that the rest of the ball was wearing, which seemed to mask his body shape which when considering the painful scar across his face made Naruto suspect the old man had concealed weapons.

Stood directly in front of the old man was a much younger male devilukian wearing an ill-fitting suit. This youth was a lot less subtle in his monitoring of Lala and seemed to be whispering something whilst stroking a heavily bandaged arm. He had dull blue hair and seemed just as out of place as the old man behind him, although he kept glancing to the three other devilukians stood with them, who appeared to be body guards.

'You should totally punch them in the face.'

Making up his mind, Naruto decided to walk over to the group, figuring that whilst he was in Lala's body, he might as well use it to his advantage. If Lala had a reputation for being a happy and innocent girl, they would probably be more forthcoming with any answers he might want of them.

"Lady Lala," The old man bowed his head.

"Greetings to you," Naruto smiled innocently. "I couldn't help but notice that you don't seem to be having fun. This is a party!"

"Forgive me My princess," The old man glanced at the young boy as if trying to give him a hint. "Sora, is there anything you would like to ask the princess?"

"Huh?" The young boy blinked. "Oh right… Er... "He gulped nervously. "I… I request that you join me in my private chambers.'

"I... "Naruto felt a bit dizzy.

"Please… I insist…'

'Seriously? This guy is trying to use Seduction on you?! I don't know what's funnier. The fact that he thinks that the princess wouldn't have been trained against such a common Asmodea Ability or the fact that he thought he could have gotten away with using it.'

'I'm sorry," Naruto shook the cobwebs from his mind.

'Don't be sorry be mad! Punch him in the face! Please I'm begging you!'

"How the mighty have fallen!" Terumi cried out with mirth as she stepped up beside Naruto. "Seriously Kazuma-teme. Getting your son to try and influence a Devilukian Noble class with such a weak Asmodea Seduction? The house of the One King has truly fallen."

"Fuen, Fuka, Fudo. We are leaving." The named Kazuma growled as the three bodyguards surrounded Sora and lead him and his father away.

"I do apologise Lala-sama," Mei smiled. "I had hoped they would behave themselves but it appears that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Such a shame, the house of Furido used to be one of the great nobles until your father exiled them."

"Why did Papa exile them?" Naruto managed to suppress his urge to be sick after referring to Gid as 'Papa' in a serious manner.

"Oh they were against the whole Charmian alliance," Mei waved dismissively. "They believe that Devilukians can stand alone, ruling as the elite. If they have their way your mother would be executed and you little more than a sex toy, being a half breed yourself, no offence intended." She smirked at Lala, "Still they lack the power to make a move on you and your super-secret fiancé. I hope you can forgive me for inviting them."

"No harm," Naruto glanced at the retreating guests.

"Lala-sama," Zastin stepped up as Mei wandered off to harass some worried looking, handsome youths who were only there to deliver some cakes. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," Naruto smiled.

"Then why are you clenching your fists tight enough to draw blood."

"Oh no reason." Naruto's bloodthirsty grin looked ten times more intimidating on the usually cheerful Lala's face. "Just remembering some names and faces."

"M-maybe we should go back home." Zastin laughed weakly.

"Yes." Naruto nodded. "On the way back… Tell me everything you know about a man called Kazuma of the house Furido."

"Not much to say about the man. A talented admiral and accomplished soldier from a once great family," Zastin shrugged. "They used to be the main naval power until the Charmian fleet joined the empire. Then they became surplus to requirements and too bogged down in the old ways. They have a small fleet and few people of note. The current Heir is a competitor in the suitor games, Sora Asmodea Furido."

"Asmodea?"

"Yes, much like Naruto-dono he has a fragment of Asmodea within him, although from what Naruto-dono says his Asmodea is a fragment of corruption whereas Sora's is a fragment of Seduction."

"I see," Naruto frowned as he followed Zastin out of the ballroom.

"They say he is quite accomplished with his Damus form, although of course Lala-sama wouldn't have to worry about that."

"Hm?"

"Well… You and your sisters have all been trained to resist such techniques." Zastin laughed. "All mind control is ineffective against you… well besides the err… Berserker related things with Momo-sama."

"I see," Naruto felt slightly relieved. "But what of the others?"

"Oh in the harem?"

"In the family, I don't have a harem." Naruto replied.

"Impressive Lala-sama! You truly are devoted to this game." Zastin smiled. "Do not worry! I am sure that you will finish your designs on protection for the others."

"I see." Naruto nodded. "That's good." 'Of course Lala would have something planned. She is a genius after all.'

"May I offer some advice Lala-sama. I know you only see the good in Naruto-dono but you have to acknowledge his failings if you wish to convince anyone with your act." Zastin coughed.

"Act?"

"You are acting far too intelligent to be Naruto-dono."

"..."

"After all Naruto-dono is a punch first ask questions lat-ARGG!" Zastin cried out in pain as he hurtled down the corridor, courtesy of a full powered devilukian punch.

There was the sound of someone inhaling on a cigarette before exhaling with a satisfied sigh. 'Was it as good for you as it was for me?'

Naruto smirked as he walked towards the ship. Part of him felt a little guilty about hitting Zastin knowing he would never fight back but a larger part just felt satisfied at seeing him hurtling down a corridor in shock.

'You should swap bodies with the princess more often.' A happy Satalin remarked. 'We make a good team. I tell you to punch things and (eventually) you punch something. You said yourself that I am better than Asmodea of the ever open legs.'

'Speak of Asmodea, I wonder how Lala is getting along with her."


The Uzumaki household was a hive of activity as Yui entered, hoping that she didn't look as tired as she felt. Naruto had kept her awake until the early hours of the morning and her big brother decided to wake her up to tell her he was going to go to the swimming pool as he heard that Akiho was going and had wanted her to come as well as an excuse for being there. She had tried to point out that stalking your girlfriend was not a good way to win her over but Yuu was adamant that he had everything planned out.

Shaking her head at the thought of her brother, she almost walked into Nana as the devilukian raced past her, her giant boar fully laden with various hi-tech looking gizmos. She looked around curiously to see everyone was busy.

"What's going on?" Yui ask concerned.

"Oh hi Yui-chan," Momo smiled as she walked by with a heavy looking box with various sci-fi looking wires and tubes hanging out of it. "Just making sure that Onee-sama has the right tools available to build a planetary shield for when the war breaks out."

"...What?" Yui blinked as Momo ran off, Nana hurrying past with another box of tools. "Where is Naruto?"

"Hn!"

'Wow! That was so like Naruto! You're amazing Lala!' Raphael clapped happily in the confines of Lala's head. The two had instantly become friends as they were both big on the idea of sharing Naruto's love and love in general. Asmodea would not be surprised if the bubbly alien tried to get Raphael in the harem before the princess was returned to her own body.

'Sorry are we talking about the same Naruto here?' Asmodea remarked. Unlike her angelic counterpart, Asmodea was not having much fun with Lala. The girl didn't seem to understand the idea of having sex with anyone other than Naruto, even when she was in control of his body. She was more of a prude than Naruto and seemed practically incorruptible by the means available to Asmodea, which was a horrifying concept for the Damus of Lust and Corruption.

"Naruto?" Yui turned to see Naruto, at least someone who looked like him. He was wearing his school uniform in a stereotypical delinquent fashion, wearing his jacket like a cape and a cap across his head. What looked like a cigarette but on closer inspection was a lollipop stick was stuck out of his mouth at an odd angle and he was staring intently in the distance, a strange breeze making the coat flutter behind him. "...Did Lala do something to you?"

"Why would you say that?" Lala (in Naruto's body) pouted.

"Lala-san?!"

"Oh Onee-sama and Naruto have swapped bodies." Momo added as she raced by to pick up another box of supplies, "And Zastin took Naruto to a meeting with plenty of influential nobles so we figured he would start a war."

"Naruto wouldn't do something as irresponsible as starting a war!" Yui defended him.

'She… She is talking about the same Naruto as you right?' Asmodea muttered.

'She can't be.' Raphael voiced her opinion.

"Right!" Lala nodded happily before realising she was still in Naruto's body and scowling at a wall in what she thought was a conflicted, heroic way but just made it look like Naruto was constipated.

"But why are you dressed like that?" Yui asked Lala.

"What do you mean?" Lala blinked.

"Well… Naruto doesn't usually dress like that at all," Yui pointed out. "I mean he might not tuck his shirt in sometimes and his tie be more tidily tied up but… He doesn't look like he is about to fight Dio?!"

"W-what?" Lala looked shocked.

"I mean okay he has bright blonde hair that makes him look like a delinquent but besides that he just looks a little rough around the edges." Yui mumbled, "Plus he doesn't act like that at all! He is quite warm hearted not indifferent."

"Muu…" Lala sulked at having her Naruto impression insulted. "I'll bet you are just jealous that I get to use Naruto's body!" She stuck her tongue out.

"No, your impression of Naruto is really that far off." Momo corrected.

"Fine then." Lala crossed her arms. "How about a wager?"

"Wager?"

"I'll bet that I can convince at least five of Naruto's friends that I am Naruto! When I win, I get to go to the Paradise planet with Naruto for a whole week. No interruptions."

"Paradise planet?" Kushina walked into the room, wearing a vest top and short pants that were stained with sweat.

"What have you been doing?" Nana looked at her.

"Training," Kushina flexed her muscles. "Mikado's been helping me re-awaken my old powers. I reckon I'm getting pretty good." Kushina smirked smugly, "But enough about me, what is this paradise planet?"

"It's basically an entire world that is a high class beach resort." Momo remarked. "It's really expensive though and given the high demand they don't even give out free stays to us princesses. So how do you expect to pay for it?"

"Simple," Lala smirked. "All of your allowances for the next six months will pay for it!"

"...What?" Nana blinked. "No deal! I need that to buy… things…" Nana trailed off.

"Wait… What do we get if you fail?" Momo crossed her arms. "Given how much you want from us you have to offer something of equal value."

"My position as the first bride."

"What?!" Momo was visibly taken aback.

"You mean… you are willing to bet your position as the head of the harem." Kushina stroked her chin thoughtfully.

"The family," Yui corrected.

"That's right." Lala nodded. "I am that sure that I will win and prove that my impression of Naruto is spot on!"

"Onee-sama, I am only saying this because I know how much you love Naruto. If you go ahead with this bet you will lose your position as the Queen of the harem and I'll be honest," Momo crossed her arms. "When I become the new queen I can't guarantee I will be as generous as you are when it comes to letting other people spend time with my Naruto."

"Wait, wait, wait," Kushina shook her head. "What makes you so sure that you would become the new head of the harem?"

"Family!" Yui protested.

"Well, I am the next in line," Momo remarked.

"Really? Because I would think it would be me." Kushina tilted her head. "Seeing as I have known Naruto the longest and chronologically speaking I am the first person to have had sex with him."

"What happens whilst time traveling in the past, stays in the past." Momo smirked.

"I am his wife," Risa reminded the other girls. "Wouldn't it make sense for me to be the head of the harem?"

"So we are agreed then?" Lala beamed. "If i lose the wager anyone but Risa has a chance to be the Queen so to speak."

"Why am I disqualified?!"

"That's fine by me." Momo winked. "I can't wait to make full use of the position of Harem Queen. Naruto and I are going to have so… much… fun!" She licked her lips seductively.

"Come to think of it, have you actually had sex with Naruto yet?" Lala tilted her head.

"Not yet but soon." Momo smirked. "And what better way to celebrate becoming his first bride?"

"That won't happen because I am not going to lose this bet!" Lala remarked happily.

"Well," Momo crossed her arms. "I suppose if you are so sure. Whilst you are going out and failing to win this bet, I'll think of a way to decide the new queen of the harem is."

"Family!" Yui correctly hotly. "And if there is to be a new 'queen' shouldn't Naruto chose her?"

"Of course you'd suggest that." Nana scoffed. "Being the only person Naruto went out of his way to add to the harem."

"Family! And that's not true… Although if I were in charge there would certainly be a large increase in the morality of the family." Yui frowned.

"Such a discussion is pointless because I am not going to lose!" Lala declared as she left the house.

"I will ensure no harm befalls the princess," Yami intoned bluntly as she stepped from the shadows and followed Lala.

"So…" Momo smirked. "Who has a good plan to decide the next leader? Spoiler warning: My idea involves chocolate sauce and a little book known as the Omega Principia Vitae."

"Wait isn't that your religion's bible?" Yui linked.

"Indeed," Momo pulled her D-Dial out as summoned a book, opening it to a set of pictures and showing it to Yui who went bright red. "I have some useful tips to make the most of our freedom."

"S-s-shameless!" Yui squawked as she stepped back.

"Admittedly position thirteen looks really uncomfortable." Momo frowned. "Not sure how much I will enjoy that."

Yui merely went bright red and tried not to imagine her and Naruto in that position. She failed miserably.


Lala happily walked through the streets, before realising that Naruto never did that and scowling whilst standing (in what she thought was) a majestic pose.

"Ah Manly Sage!"

Lala turned to face Kenichi, given her best unimpressed grunt.

"You are looking particularly manly today." Kenichi nodded eagerly.

"Ah Adonis-kun!" Kenichi's little sister Ayumi beamed at her hero. "How are you!"

'Ah if it isn't Naruto's Loli Love interest.'

'What?' Lala blinked. 'I was trying to make Mikan fill that role… Or maybe Nana but she gets upset when you refer to her as a Loli. Maybe Yami then… But Yami spens all her time hiding in the shadows. Maybe she needs a big sister figure to help her out of the darkness!'

'Yes you wouldn't believe how far he has gone with her.' Asmodea saw a chance to screw with Naruto and took it.

'R-really?!'

'He calls her his Loli-pop.'

'When did he…' Raphael was suddenly cut off and there was the sound of scuffling then a muffled yell, as if someone had been gagged.

'All the time.' Asmodea remarked.

'I see.' Lala nodded sagely at Ayumi. "Greetings Loli-pop."

"...Eh?" Ayumi and Kenichi glanced at each other.

"Oh I get it!" Kenichi nodded eagerly. "It's like a cute nickname right? Because she is a small girl. Such quick thinking is one of your lesser known powers!"

'Wait what? Seriously?! This guy will ignore anything that strikes him as off when it comes to Naruto."

"Ah! Adonis-kun has given me a cute nickname! And we are going to get married and…"

'I see it runs in the family…'

"'Yumi-chan… Have you seen the members of his harem? You wouldn't even get a second chance. You'll be like some sort of wall paper character who is hardly ever mentioned!'

'Anyone remember Peke? Or how about Run/Ren. Remember when Yami actually did something that advanced the plot…'

"Is that so Onii-sama?" Ayumi twitched angrily.

"May I offer you some advice?" Kenichi started.

"Shoryuken!" Ayumi roared as she punched her big brother into the air and he landed on the floor. "Ah… I mean… I'm a delicate little flower," She laughed weakly.

"Hn," Lala gave Ayumi a thumbs up and set off on her way, the ecstatic Ayumi declaring her adonis loved the true her. 'So that's two people who I was able to fool!"

'Okay princess but let's be honest, those two seem to have a more warped view of Naruto than you do. I doubt you will find anyone else who is that deluded when it comes to Naruto.'

'Muu…' Lala mentally pouted as she walked the streets. 'I need to find someone who knows Naruto really well... Wait a second! Haruna! If I can convince Haruna-chan then I am clearly awesome at doing Naruto impressions!' Lala nodded sagely

'This… This could be fun,' Asmodea grinned.

'MMPH?!'

'Quiet you… Or I'll use the other whip. The one you don't like."


Rito blinked as he regained consciousness. There was a bright light shining in his face and he was vaguely aware of soft moans of pleasure. He tried to move but found his arms and legs were tied to the table.

"I see our guest is awake." The female voice he had heard before passing out sneered before there was the sound of someone clicking thier fingers and the bright light dimmed, allowing RIto to see two shapes that eventually swam into focus. One was the strange woman with her long black hair, pale skin and piercing yellow eyes and the other was Haruna, completely naked and grinding herself against the leg of the woman.

"H-Haruna-chan?!"

"It's amazing what a small splash of Lust Mushrooms can achieve," The woman gestured at Haruna's flushed face and unfocused eyes. A small trail of drool dripped from her mouth as her tongue lolled out. "One more dose and… well this becomes permanent."

"N-No!" Rito gasped.

"Of course," The woman leered at Rito. "I could cure her… But if you want to save her… You have to do something for me."

"What do you want?" Rito grit his teeth, trying to fight back tears at how helpless he felt right now. No doubt Naruto would be able to break free from the table, kick the ass of the psycho and take Haruna back to Lala and Mikado-sensei who would cure her, whilst all he could do was struggle feebly against his bindings. Even so part of him didn't want Naruto to show up, so that he could be the hero for once, even though it meant Haruna was in danger.

"You see… I have very select interests," The woman lounged in a chair lifting Haruna's chin. "My first goal is to learn every secret of this universe. The truth behind the destruction of the Damus and Arcangus… The secrets of Soul Splicing. The problem is there are so many mysteries there is no way I can learn them all in just one lifetime. So in order to do this I have to become immortal."

"What does that have to do with anything?!" Rito yelled angrily.

"You humans have so little patience." The woman sighed. "You were the one who asked me what I wanted."

"I meant with Haruna."

"Oh I have absolutely no interest in her." The woman gestured lazily. "She is merely the means to an end. Or at least someone's end. Our mutual acquaintance Naruto Uzumaki."

"What did he do to you?"

"He killed my brother." The woman smirked, "Not that I particularly care about that but for the sake of appearances I have to kill him. Plus he stands between me and the perfect body."

"Eh?"

"The second oldest Devilukian princess."

"Momo?"

"Bah!" The woman sneered. "Not that woman with her repulsive form. Nana Astar Deviluke, blessed with an unaging form that I shall be taken from her."

"Why would I help you have to hearing that?"

"Do you not love this girl?"

"Please… Rito-kun…" Haruna panted erotically. "It burns… I can't take this much longer…"

"Haruna-chan…" Rito felt horrible seeing Haruna in such a bad state.

"So I ask you human?" The woman smirked. "What is more important to you? The life of this girl or the lives of the man who stands between you and your beloved and some girl who you don't even know?"

"I…" Rito closed his eyes, hating himself.

"I see…" The woman nodded. "You have made your decision." She pulled a syringe out of her coat. "Inside this is a potent poison that even a full blooded devilukian wouldn't be able to withstand. For what it is worth the poison is instantaneous so he won't suffer. Remember…" She knocked out Haruna and threw the drugged girl over her shoulder. "If you don't deliver your end of the deal, I'll make sure Haruna-chan here lives to regret it. I will be watching so If you try and betray me… the next time you will see Haruna… well it will probably be on one of those extreme adult sites. Ciao." She stepped into the shadows and vanished without a trace, the bindings holding Rito to the table released themselves leaving him looking at the syringe.

"I… I'm sorry Naruto." Rito bit his lip. "I'm not strong enough to fight. But I will do what I must to protect Haruna-chan." He picked up the syringe. "Sorry Naruto." He repeated as he left the warehouse, fighting back his own disgust with his weakness.


"Urgh," Naruto groaned as he walked into his house. Lala's body had all sorts of aches and Naruto was desperate to get back into his own body. He arrived to see the girls (or at least most of them) sat around a table having a heated debate. Momo looked mildly annoyed whereas Yui looked shocked. Nana was scowling and Kushina looked frustrated. Sat off to one side, Mikado was lounging in a chair, nursing a cup of hot chocolate whilst Oshizu massaged her neck and shoulders. The familiar smell of a good meal suggested that Mikan was in the kitchen. He could hear Risa's voice as she talked to the younger Yuuki sibling.

There was no sign of Lala in his body or Yami, although Yami was usually hidden in the shadows so that wasn't much of a surprise. He also noticed a lack of Rito but wasn't that concerned as the elder Yuuki sibling kept himself to himself as of late.

"I say the next person to get pregnant wins!" Momo declared.

"How shameless!" Yui slammed her palms on the table. "If we are to decide a winner it should be in a sensible and proper way!"

"Hey girls," Naruto groaned as he walked over to the coach and collapsed.

"So are we at war then?" Momo glanced at Naruto.

"Nope." He sighed happily. "I was diplomatic as hell."

"Er…"

"You know what I mean." Naruto rubbed his eyelids. "Where's Lala?"

"Out trying to convince people she is you," Momo smirked. "Don't worry, Yami is with her to keep her out of trouble."

"That's fortunate," Naruto groaned as he stretched out. "Seriously today has been exhausting. Plus I think I found a new enemy."

"You make enemies like a master craftsman," Mikado chuckled. "Couldn't you wait until you have dealt with Orochimaru before starting a fight with someone else."

"I didn't deliberately do it," Naruto frowned. "But the way they acted…"

"I am sure that Naruto-san did what he thought was best," Oshizu smiled at Naruto.

"Oh Oshizu right?" Naruto nodded at the girl.

"H-hai!" Oshizu bowed her head. "I never got to thank you for saving me."

"Don't worry about," Naruto laughed weakly.

"So you are in Lala-san's body? This era truly is a wondrous place." Oshizu looked impressed.

"Even for this era, swapping bodies isn't that common."

"Is that so?" Oshizu blinked.

"Yeah," Naruto shook his head at the naivety of the ghost girl. "This is an alien thing. So what is such a severe issue that it has you all arguing?"

"Oh we are trying to decide who will be the next 'Head' of the harem."

"Family," Naruto and Yui corrected on reflex.

"Whatever," Momo smirked.

"Wait… Why are you choosing a new head?!"

"Oh Onee-sama bet that she knew you so well that she could convince… how many was it?" Momo glanced at the others.

"Five i think," Nana shrugged, trying to sound disinterested.

"Five people that she was you. She was so sure she bet her place as the Queen of the harem," She paused to allow the reflex denials by Yui and Naruto before continuing, "And since her impression of you was terrible we are betting that she will lose."

"...Seriously," Naruto groaned.

"I mean i think it should just pass to me," Momo remarked. "I am the next in line."

"Just because you are older than Nana…" Kushina started.

"I'm not," Momo smiled. "I am the second in command of the Harem or family, whatever you want to call it."

"Wait…" Risa held up her hands in a 'Stop' gesture. "You're the older of the two of you?!" She looked at Nana.

"Why are you so surprised?" Nana looked offended.

"Well…" Risa coughed weakly. "You know…"

"There is more to maturity than breasts!" Nana snapped. "So what if I don't have those ugly mounds of fat."

"You say something?" Momo grinned as she pushed her breasts forwards using her arms.

"You stole mine!" Nana snapped. "Give them back!"

The two sisters started to grapple and roll across the floor.

"I swear," Naruto walked over to them. "Lala leaves the house and you all start trying to kill each other. At least when Lala is here its only Risa who is in danger."

"Right," Risa nodded. "Wait what?!"

"Stop fighting." Naruto grabbed the two tails to stop the sisters, Momo's response was as expected: she gasped and released her elder sister before panting erotically.

"More~" She purred.

Nana on the other hand, she practically screamed as her entire body shook, leaving her blank eyed and drooling slightly, her tongue lolling out of her mouth .

"Nyoo.." She slurred. "Shtop it…"

"Er…" Naruto released their tails. "Is she alright?"

"We all have our gifts," Momo mumbled, disappointed that Naruto didn't continue to play with her tail although as an afterthought decided that it was probably a good idea considering Naruto was in her eldest sister's body. "Nana is ridiculously sensitive and no one knows why. Possibly a side effect of her restricted growth."

"Right," Naruto glanced at the twitching Nana, "Is she going to be okay?"

"She'll be fine," Mikado assured him. "She just needs to recover."

"Lucky," Momo grumbled at her sister enviously. "She can achieve a level of sexual satisfaction that precious few can attain."

"Huh," Naruto rubbed the back of Lala's head. "I guess that's good?"

"Just be careful," Mikado winked. "When you finally bind with her, you too will feel the high level of pleasure. Last thing we all want is for you to become some sort of mind broken sex addict."

"Mind broken?!" Naruto glanced at Nana who was started to recover.

"Don't worry, we devilukians are highly resilient to such things." Momo winked. "So mess us up as much… as… you… want." She finished whispering into Naruto's (well technically Lala's) ear.

"I don't know how you can still flirt with Naruto when he is in Lala's body," Kushina shook her head.

"Meh," Momo shrugged. "It might be Onee-sama's body but… well it's hard to explain. As a Berserker I can sense other berserkers. Onee-sama should be a noble class but when I look at her, all my senses (except my eyes) tell me that it is Naruto in front of me."

"So let me get this straight," Risa frowned. "All of your devilukians can basically form a sort of telepathic link to Naruto, you have some sort of Berserker sense that allows you to sense Naruto and she is ridiculously receptive to pleasure?"

"Sounds about right," Momo nodded .

"I really need to get Lala to change my species," Risa joked.

"She probably could do that." Kushina pointed out. "Although if it was you asked she would probably demand you invalidate your marriage first."

"But in return you would get longer life span, much greater strength and the ability to connect to Naruto on the most intimate level." Momo pointed out.

"But I'd have to give up being married to Naruto…" Risa frowned. "I don't know if I could do that."

"Well you wouldn't be giving up your right to marry him, just the right to be married to him before Onee-sama." Momo remarked.

"It's all moot though." Nana staggered to her feet. "Onee-sama hasn't managed to make any progress on that sort of work. Without experimentation she can't make any progress and she refused to cross that line and risk hurting people."

"Well there are enough mad scientists around without Lala joining their ranks," Naruto shook his head. "At least Lala is sane. She hasn't built any doomsday weapons."

"At least not lately," Momo smirked.

"And let's hope that never changes." Risa sighed.


'Do you think Naruto would care if I wiped out most of the town?' Lala struggled to restrain her rage as she walked through the town. Whilst she knew that Naruto's reputation amongst the majority of the town was less than stellar, she didn't realise that people were outright hostile to him. Maybe it was her looking at the world through rose coloured glasses but she had always assumed that everyone viewed him as the hero that she saw.

Young children would run away when they saw her coming, old woman would mutter whilst shooting her dark looks and girls who were open and friendly to her when she was in her own body, refused to acknowledge her presence.

'I imagine that would upset Naruto.' Asmodea remarked dryly. 'For some inane reason he feels that it is his duty to prove them wrong or something. This is why he rarely leaves the house during reasonable hours unless he is going somewhere with you girls or has something that he has to do. I guess he is just used to it.'

'But it isn't fair!' Lala watched as a group of boys who would always try and hit on her at school, shot her a glance at muttered something before laughing loudly.

'Maybe not but that's the way it is. One day Naruto will prove them all wrong!' Raphael declared proudly.

'Right!' Lala nodded happily.

"Hey, look on the bright side. At least you were able to convince the required amount of people that you are indeed Naruto. That's gotta count for something right?' Asmodea remarked but before Lala could respond a familiar voice called out Naruto's name.

"Hello?" Lala span around to see a grinning Akiho and an awkward looking Haruna behind her.

"It's rare to see you out and about without your entourage," Akiho patted her on her shoulder. "What is it blondie? You and the Kotegawa girl broken up yet?"

"Er… No…" Lala was confused by the elder Kotegawa words.

"Onee-sama," Haruna shot her big sister an angry look. "Please don't mind her Uzumaki-kun."

"Okay," Lala shrugged. "So how are you today?"

"Oh I'm good," Haruna smiled slightly. "I mean… Er... " She fidgeted awkwardly.

"Is something the matter?" Lala blinked.

"Oh, I… well…" Haruna bit her lip and looked away. "It's… I have to get going."

"Hey!" Lala crossed her arms. "If there is something wrong you can tell me! We are best buddies right?"

"Best…" Haruna tailed off. "Are you okay Uzumaki-san?"

"Eh?"

"You are acting a little wierd."

"Oh… I er… Hahahaha," Lala laughed weakly.

"Geez this is painful to watch," Akiho rubbed the back of her head.

"Ah," Haruna looked at the floor. "I guess… It is still a little awkward considering you did kind of reject my confession."

"Oh right that," Lala nodded. "Well I did what I had to do."

"Pardon?" Haruna looked confused.

'Er… Listen I love screwing with Naruto's love life as much as the next ancient god-like being sealed into an unwilling container but I would advise being careful here. Conversations between Naruto and Haruna are fraught with possible landmines so try to avoid doing too much damage.' Asmodea advised Lala.

"Well… You aren't the kind of person who could be in a harem so…"

"Wait what?" Akiho interrupted Lala.

"Oh sorry, I meant the family," Lala corrected herself.

"I don't care what you call it!" Akiho looked at Lala angrily. "What is this about a harem?"

"Er… Well…" Lala floundered, not having expected that Naruto didn't tell Akiho about the harem. "You see this alien princess kind of wants to marry me and the custom of thier species is to have harems. Oh and I am going to be the galactic emperor."

"...What?" Akiho glanced at Haruna, who didn't look half as shocked as her elder sister was expecting, "You know about this?!"

"Well," Haruna bit her lip. "I… I know about parts such as Lala-san, the princess."

"Lala? You mean that pink haired bimbo?" Akiho asked.

"...She's actually really nice," Lala managed to keep her voice surprisingly level.

"Lala-san is a good person," Haruna smiled sadly.

"Plus this competition is super deadly with assassins trying to kill me," Lala crossed her arms in what she hoped was a Naruto-like way, "I couldn't put Haruna-chan in that sort of danger again."

'Er… Lala please stop speaking.'

"Again?!"

"Oh there was this shape shifting alien ages ago. I mean Rito tried to help but he kind of passed out when he saw Haruna-chan in a kind of erotic position."

"..." Akiho's face had gone eerily blank. "I see."

"So yeah," Lala laughed awkwardly. "It would be best if Haruna-chan didn't get involved with this!"

"Is that why?" Haruna whispered.

"Eh?"

"Is that why you rejected my confession? To protect me?"

"Er… Sure?" Lala figured that was infact Naruto's reasoning.

"I… I see…" Haruna smiled. "That… That makes me feel better."

"No worries!" She beamed at Haruna.

"Well," Akiho glanced at Haruna, "I guess we'd best be going home eh?"

"R-right." Haruna nodded.

"I totally nailed that conversation," Lala announced as she watched Haruna and Akiho left. The two voices in her head decided against commenting as she made her way back home, where a tired looking Lala was waiting for her.

"Honey I'm home."

"I don't think I've ever said that," Naruto remarked dryly.

"Hehe," Lala rubbed the back of her head. "How did the meeting go?"

"Well enough," Naruto remarked. "I made a new enemy."

"Well as long as you had fun. I managed to convince loads of people that I was Naruto!"

"This is correct," Yami stepped from the shadows. "I counted no fewer than thirty individuals that referred to her as Naruto and failed to notice that the princess was in fact in control of the body."

"Seriously?" Naruto blinked. 'How the hell do people see me?!'

"Why do you feel so shocked?" Lala pouted.

"Stop pouting in Naruto's body!" Nana looked away.

"Let's… Let's just get back in our own bodies… How do we do it?" Naruto approached Lala.

"Simple!" Lala smiled as she hugged Naruto who returned the hug. "Just focus on your own body."

Naruto closed his eyes and suddenly felt as if he was spinning around violently before suddenly jerking to a halt and falling over. When he opened his eyes he saw a bemused looking Lala stood over him.

"I'm back in my own body?!" Naruto let out a sigh of relief.

"Muu…" Lala frowned. "My body doesn't feel like you touched it at all!"

"...What?"

"Why didn't you molest my body when you had the chance?"

"...I'm going to bed." Naruto grumbled as he got up.

"Maybe he doesn't find you as desirable as you thought?" Momo teased her big sister her merely pouted as the door to the house opened and a pale looking Rito stepped inside.

"Ah Rito!" Mikan peered out of the kitchen. "I wondered where you had gone."

"Oh I've been out," Rito smiled weakly, terrified that the girls could sense his guilt.

"Out?" Mikan raised an eyebrow. "Usually I would suspect that meant you were seeing a girl but this is you we are talking about."

"That's funny, hahahaha." Rito fake laugh was almost painful. "I'm… I'm kind of tired so I will go to bed."

"You as well? Naruto-san has retired early today as well." Mikan looked worried. "I hope you are not coming down with something."

"Naruto is sleeping?" Rito steeled his resolve. "I… I will see you tomorrow." He gulped and walked towards the bedrooms.

"Hmm…" Mikan frowned before returning to the kitchen.

Rito crept towards Naruto's bedroom and opened the door to see him sprawled on his bed, eyes shut and chest slowly rising and falling.

"Naruto?" He whispered, getting no response from the blonde. "I'm sorry." He pulled the syringe from his jacket and walked over to Naruto before holding the syringe over Naruto's heart. "I… I am not a knight who can go charging in to save the princess. This… This is the only way I can help her." He closed his eyes before letting out a breath.

"I'm sorry… for everything." He whispered before plunging the syringe down.