"Hey." Sakura's voice came from behind him, he wiped his watery eyes, not looking at her, "Go away." He was sitting, knees pulled to his chest, staring out at the village from the top of Minato-sensei's head.

"Minato-sama is worried about you. He said you haven't said anything since-"

"Go the fuck away." He growled. "I want to be alone."

"Why? To mourn? To moap?" Sakura's voice was harsher than he thought it would be. "To blame yourself for something that you could not help?"

"You don't understand." He seethed.

"I understand more than you think."

"You can't understand!" Kakashi spat, looking out at the dark village. Small lights littered the residential district. Little families smiling, laughing, not understanding the sacrifices to keep them safe. He looked at Sakura who was looking at him with pitied eyes. "I vowed I would keep her safe! His dying words were telling me to protect her! And I fucking killed her!" her eyes softened. "You think you can fucking understand! I've lost everyone! My whole team! Who I was supposed to protect are dead!"

He turned back to the village, wiping his eyes.

Shinobi are not supposed to show emotion.

He felt warm, strong arms surround him.

"I lost my team too." He stiffened to the sound of her voice. It was soft, light, but had a tinge of regret, hate in it."

They sat in silence for a moment. "How did they die?"

She laughed, "No, they didn't die." Before he could speak she took a shaky breath and with a slightly higher voice, she continued, "One-he was a mess. He watched his family get brutally murdered by a rouge ninja. He vowed to avenge them. He-despite anything that I could do or our other team member could do- he left. He joined the biggest enemy of our village to date, giving up not only on the village, but us. His team.

"My other teammate, who was an orphan, couldn't take his leaving. He tried once, with a team of trackers to bring him back, and they all came back, all almost dead. My teammate came back with a hole in his chest.

"He left too shortly after that, to train. He vowed he'd bring our other teammate back for me.

"And me?" she laughed, "I was too weak to do anything."

"You're not weak." Kakashi mumbled, leaning back into her, "You're very strong."

Sakura pulled him closer into her, sniffling loudly. "You say that now, but I trained under a wonderful teacher, who pushed me farther than my genin instructor ever did."

"Why?"

Sakura was silent for a moment, "He had…more important people to help."

Kakashi's mind flashed to him demanding Minato to help him. He felt his face redden. "Ah." She snorted.

They were quite for a few moments, looking down at the village.

"I understand that emptiness in your chest, Kakashi. That feeling of uselessness to do anything." She held him tighter, "but you can't live your life in the past. Thinking of what you could have done better to make today different." When Kakashi didn't say anything, she continued, "You have to think about how what has happened in the past will make you a stronger person in the future."

Kakashi let her words sink in, as he leaned in to her more as they sat in the silence of the night, watching each light, one by one, go out in the little houses below.

III

AN: So I'm not dead.

Just overwhelmed. But school is almost over. Expect more updates in May!