Another time skip I'm afraid. For those who haven't read Iron and Paper, the first half of this game is in chapter 20 and 21. I suggest going to read it before reading this.


Laxus slammed his fists down on the table, sneering around the other members of the guild. They were all in various states of undress, but that didn't bother him.

"I have never had sex in the shower"

He tried to ignore the looks of confusion as everyone drank. Oh. This was not going to be good for him.

Bickslow wrapped an arm around Mira's waist to steady her as he leant forward, grabbing another shot from the table. She jumped not only from the almost intimate nature of it but also from the voice that rumbled in her ear.

"Excuse me, my dearest Mirajane"

As he threw the alcohol down his throat she looked sideways at Lisanna, watching her mirror the motion perfectly. She groaned, rubbing her temples with her forefingers as she spoke.

"Please tell me that wasn't my shower"

Freed echoed her words almost exactly, and Bickslow and Lisanna looked at each other for a second before bursting out laughing. Lisanna was the first one to recover, wiping a tear from her eye as she leant back onto Freed. The Rune Mage tried to move back before being blocked by the back of the chair, and let his hands hang awkwardly either side of him. Lisanna took a deep breath, turning her head so she could see Freed more easily.

"One of you is going to be severely disappointed."

Bickslow finally recovered, grinning widely and letting his tongue loll out.

"Or both of you. You never know."

Mira and Freed sighed in tandem. It had only been a few days and they already knew that this new relationship that had developed was going to be an uphill struggle. They stared at each other, discussing without words as to whether they would need to set up rules in their houses now before they were interrupted by Bacchus shouting down the table.

"How the fuck have you not have sex in a shower?"

Laxus sat back in his chair, crossing his arms across his chest defensively. He sneered at the drunkard, looking him up and down before he spoke.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because I'm a lightning mage and the last time I checked water and electricity don't fucking mix."

Bacchus stared back at him, trying to think of something to come back with before Cana slammed her drink down on the table and spoke.

"I've never seen this before. D'ya think he should take a penalty because everyone drank?"

Laxus sighed as everyone shouted yes at him, and Cana pondered what she should give him as a penalty. It would be her decision, of course. It was her game after all. He was already stripped down to his boxers, so she couldn't do anything there, and he could handle his liquor far too well for her to do much with alcohol. He tapped the side of her chin for a moment, before jumping up in excitement.

"Freed has to use one of his 'special' Dark Ecritures on you."

A roar of laughter spread around the table, stopping abruptly with Freed as a deep blush started to spread across his face.

"Cana! Why am I being punished? I literally haven't done anything!"

The rune mage was leaning forward, not even caring now that he was hitting into Lisanna's back. Lisanna was giggling as Freed put his hands on the table either side of her, and didn't even notice the look of mild annoyance on Bickslow's face. Laxus relaxed back in his chair, waving Freed's apprehension away.

"Shut up, Freed. How bad can it be, anyway?"

A low chuckle escaped Mira's throat, and the first waves of apprehension washed over Laxus. She had been on the receiving end of his ecritures, she knew first hand what they were like. If she was finding this funny it must have been worse than he anticipated. Laxus was just about to open his mouth to try and backpedal when Freed's arm moved faster than he thought possible, his right eye darkening as the magic flew from his hand.

"Dark Ecriture: Pleasure"

Laxus didn't feel anything to start with, and was going to make a joke about Mira being a little pussy before it hit. Waves of pleasure shot through every nerve in his body and he involuntarily tensed every muscle in his body. His back arched and his cock got painfully hard as an embarrassingly erotic moan of pleasure escaped his lips and echoed throughout the room. He barely even noticed when he lost control of his lightning, the electricity arcing through the air to the nearest metal object. Bickslow cursed as the electricity hit his mask and shot through his entire body, transferring into Mira where she sat on his lap as she screamed in a mixture of surprise and pain. Laxus' muscles spasmed a few times, until they relaxed finally and he almost melted into the chair below him. Bickslow was rubbing the skin underneath his mask, sure that where they met he was going to get a nasty burn.

"You motherfucker, Laxus! That fucking hurt!"

Mira glared at the Dragon Slayer, arms crossed over her chest in annoyance.

"Yeah, Laxus. That was unnecessary."

Laxus huffed, closing his eyes and stretching out his muscles, thanking every God available that he hadn't actually orgasmed in his pants. His body still tingled in a way that was worryingly stimulating, and he needed to get his mind off it. And he knew exactly how to do it.

"Mira, be a dear and stand up for me sweetheart."

The takeover mage looked confused for a second but was more than happy for the brief break in sitting on Bickslow's lap. As soon as she was clear Laxus lifted his arm lazily, pointing at the Sieth, before sending a bolt of lightning straight at him. Bickslow cursed again as his body convulsed before Laxus had had enough amusement and let him go.

"You're the closest metal, dickhead. Not my fault I lost control."

Bickslow just flipped the bird at his leader, before grabbing hold of Mira's hips and pulling her back down onto his lap as at least a modicum of protection.

"And Mira, with our history you should have known that was gonna happen."

Mira pouted for a second, before realising everyone at the table probably already knew they had slept together.

"I was sat on Bickslow's lap, what the fuck was I supposed to do?"

Laxus shrugged, managing to pull himself together if only just a little.

"I dunno, braced yourself?"

Mira crossed her arms and looked pointedly at the blonde.

"You know, I was going to say like you should have braced yourself for the Ecriture that 'can't be that bad', but I think we both know there's not really much bracing for that."

Lisanna threw her hands over her ears, shaking her head as she did.

"Please… please stop talking about what Freed does to you. I really really don't want to know."

Mira was going to point out the irony of Lisanna saying that the day she had walked in on her and Bickslow in the back room, but her younger sister appeared to not actually be too pissed off with her and she really didn't want to rock the boat. Instead she looked at Freed, silently telling him to take his turn.


Freed tapped his chin as he contemplated his next move, trying to ignore the way Lisanna was squirming on his lap and the multitude of obvious bruises that Bickslow had apparently left on her back over the last few days. He wondered what position they must have been in for him to leave some of them before he shook his head and tried to focus his mind on the task at hand. There wasn't anyone he particularly wanted to get, so he decided to choose the first thing that came to mind.

"I have never passed out drunk."

Cana, Mira, Lisanna and Bacchus all threw their shots down their throat. Freed looked pointedly at Bickslow, who simply stared right back at him. He sighed heavily, debating whether this was worth the argument.

"Bickslow. You passed out drunk last week. I had to try and carry you back home."

Freed had been around the Sieth long enough to know that he had levelled a glare at him. He reached up a hand, miming sliding an object into his mouth while pushing his tongue into the opposite cheek. Freed sighed heavily as he caught the lewd suggestion, rolling his eyes at him. Two could play at that game.

"You know what Bickslow, I did always think you'd be good at that. Something to do with the tongue."

Bickslow grinned, letting the aforementioned tongue show as his eyes flashed with green magic behind his mask.

"Well, Freed. Keep up the jokes like that and you might experience that tonight."

Freed's mouth opened and closed as he tried to come up with his response, but Bickslow just grabbed his shot and drank it while keeping the most eye contact with Freed as he could. Freed just shook his head, ignoring his teammate and turning around to continue with his turn.

"Okay then. Truth or Dare?"

Laxus, Gajeel and Levy all looked at each other, before all selecting dare. Gajeel and Laxus were both too afraid of being called weak by the other, and the alcohol Levy had consumed gave her much more confidence than she usually had. Freed grinned, the darkness inside of him starting to shine through.

"How about we find out once and for all who's the strongest Dragon Slayer here? Laxus, Gajeel. You need to arm wrestle. No magic, and believe me I will know."

The two Dragon Slayers stared at each other, each leering as they did. Cana stood up, dragging a smaller table over along with two chairs and indicating for the Dragon Slayers to take their positions as everyone stood and crowded around the battleground to watch. They maintained eye contact as they did, each raising their arm up to rest their elbows on the table. The plan failed as Laxus placed down his left arm, while Gajeel raised his right.

"I'm left-handed, metal brains. We're playing with our left hands."

Gajeel sneered, shaking his head and refusing to move.

"Just cause you're weird doesn't mean I should be disadvantaged. Right hands."

Both slayers growled before Cana pulled a jewel out of her pocket and flipped it. Each Slayer called their guesses before Laxus swore when she revealed the outcome and switched his arms. Gajeel's grin widened, and he clasped the blonde's hand tightly as he prepared to fight. Cana counted down from three, and as soon as she yelled go both Dragon Slayer's put all of their effort into their arms.

In all fairness it was a pretty even game, and Gajeel was glad he had been given the advantage. If he had been forced to play with his left hand he knew he wouldn't have stood a chance. Laxus was much bigger than him, and when it came to raw power he was definitely below him. Their fists refused to move more than an inch either way, and after a while the audience started to get bored. Cana sighed, moving over to stand between them and slowly starting to remove her shirt. Laxus tried desperately to keep staring Gajeel in the eye, but with the addition of Freed's spell earlier he couldn't resist. His head turned to the side as Cana unbuttoned her trousers, and as she slowly slid them off her hips Gajeel took his opportunity and used the very last of his strength all in one go to slam Laxus' hand down on the table.

Laxus cursed loudly as the back of his hand hit the wood, and he threw himself back in his chair. Not only did he lose, he had become painfully aware that he was the only person in this room not getting laid tonight. Throwing his chair backwards so it clattered across the floor he headed back to the table and waited for the others to join him.

Freed started to sulk at the loss of his leader, before realising that he had many disadvantages which meant on an even keel he wouldn't have had a chance. And now he had a perfect opportunity to get them back. He sat down on his chair, sitting back to allow Lisanna to perch on his lap again as he turned his head to look at Levy.

"So, Levy. You beat me earlier, but now I propose a battle of wits. We take in turns to insult each other, in a different language each time. Whoever can't come up with an insult within three seconds loses. We go until someone fails."

Levy stared at the rune mage, scrambling through the languages she knew she knew and ones that she suspected Freed knew. She thought she knew more, but her brain wasn't in top working order due to all of the alcohol she had consumed. Taking a deep breath she nodded, preparing herself for the challenge. Freed indicated for her to go first, and she said the first thing that came into her head.

"Tu es completement débile"

Freed smirked at the almost childish insult, crossing his arms in front of him as he did.

"Tatica."

Levy groaned, shaking her head at the predictable name although Freed had to be pretty drunk in order to insult her that way. He usually wasn't that offensive to her.

"Really original, Freed. Like I haven't heard that before. Du hast eine kleine teil."

Levy crossed her arms over at her insult, however, was distracted by Mira whispering to her right.

"Falsch."

Levy looked over at the takeover mage, not quite believing what she had heard. She heard Freed speak his insult, but she was too busy trying to figure out whether Mira had responded to take it in.

"Did you understand what I said, Mira?"

The older girl smirked, looking at Levy as she did. She started to lean back to make her point, before remembering she was on Bickslow's lap and deciding against it.

"Of course I did. I spend quiet a lot of time with Freed, I'd have to be an idiot if I didn't pick something up."

"Hey!"

Bickslow tugged Mira back so she topped onto the front of his chest, pouting at the implied insult as he did. Levy turned back to Freed, the rune mage smirking back at her.

"That's been over three seconds, Levy. I win."

Levy started to protest before Gajeel rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand and whispered in her ear.

"You know you would have thrashed him if he played fair. But Freed is Freed. He plays by his own rules."

Levy puffed out her cheeks but ultimately decided not to argue. She wasn't really sure her mental capacity was up for it right now, anyway.


A/N - This is early cause I am at a comicon all weekend (super hype).

The insults are as follows - "Tu es completement debile" - You're a complete moron

"Tatica" - a woman with small breasts
"Du hast eine kleine teil" - You have a small dick
"Falsch" - Wrong

I am not fluent in any of these languages, so there is a high chance that they are wrong. I apologise to any native speakers in advance!