A/N: So how many therapy bills am I going to be getting after that last chapter?


Chapter 28:

Damage Control

Emily didn't say a word on the ride home. She just put her temple up against the window and stared at the road. She didn't move. She barely even blinked. Her emotional pain had rendered her completely catatonic. All Emily could think about was what Maurice had said about having to live with her grief. She couldn't imagine living with the way she felt for the rest of her life. His words about learning how to move forward struck a chord in her.

He'd told her that she had to take control of the pain before it destroyed her. But what was she supposed to do if it had already destroyed her? Her heart was broken. Her soul was empty. Grief didn't even begin to cover it. She was completely stripped of everything that made her Emily Fields. Her anguish was like the claws of a demon dragging her down into a deep abyss.

She watched as the car slowed down to a crawl as Alison pulled on to their street. The world around her seemed like it had lost its color and all of its meaning. Alison pulled the car into their driveway and shut the engine off. She looked over at Emily, who had still yet to move.

"Em, we're home." Alison gently put her hand against Emily's arm. "Hey." She tenderly rubbed her bicep.

Emily didn't respond. Alison moved her palm up to her cheek.

"Emily?"

Still nothing. Alison sighed and climbed out of the car. She walked around to the passenger's side door and pulled it open. Emily glanced up at her, but didn't say anything. Alison reached into the car and unlatched Emily's seat belt. She leaned down until her face was a few inches away from Emily's. Emily turned her head slightly so they were facing. Alison could see the turmoil in her eyes. There was a darkness in them she'd never seen before.

Alison put her hand against Emily's face again. Her skin was hot to the touch. She looked pale and she was glistening with sweat. It's like she was sweating out a fever. Only this fever wasn't something that was going to burn out with rest and hydration.

She tucked Emily's loose hair behind her right ear, her fingers sweeping Emily's cheek. Her face was red and worn from her crying. Alison could still see the stains on her cheeks from her tears. She rubbed her thumb underneath Emily's right eye, dusting an eyelash away from her lower lid and then moved her palm back against her cheek. Emily leaned into her touch. She closed her eyes and sighed. When she opened them back up, Alison was still with her, still waiting patiently.

Alison reached down to take Emily's hand so she could encourage her to get out of the car, but stopped when she saw the blood on her knuckles. A few of the abrasions were still oozing. Alison delicately ran her fingers around the cuts.

"Come on, let's get you inside and get you cleaned up." Alison took her hand with one hand and touched her face with her other.

Emily nodded silently. She felt her body moving, though she didn't remember actively thinking she wanted to move. She was content to just sit around and wait to die. It had to be better than the poison consuming her soul. She let Alison guide her inside. She did everything she was prompted to do. When Alison walked, she walked. When Alison stopped, she stopped.

Jett approached them timidly, sensing the tension in the air. He didn't crowd them, but he stayed with them as they walked through the living room and up the stairs. He stopped at the top of the staircase and watched them walk down the hall. Alison led her into the bathroom. She lowered the toilet lid and gently pushed Emily down against it.

Alison reached into the shower and turned it on to let the water warm up. She grabbed a washcloth and held it out under the shower stream. She walked over to Emily. She delicately put one hand against Emily's cheek and then softly rubbed her other cheek with the cloth. She wiped away her sweat and the remnants of her tears. Then she repeated the motion on her other cheek. Emily stared past her, barely registering the world around her.

Alison reached down and took Emily's right hand in hers. She grimaced looking at the bruises forming on Emily's knuckles. Her fingertips were covered in dried blood. Alison wiped down her nails, trying her best to get the blood out from all the tiny cracks and crevices. She did the same for her left hand. Then she put the washcloth down on the counter next to the sink. She reached in and checked the shower's temperature.

She heard a sniffle and when she turned around to check on Emily she saw her lowering her head, a single teardrop rolling down her cheek. Alison kneeled in front of her, rubbing her thumb against her face to brush away her tear.

"I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you're going to be okay." Alison put her hand on the back of her head and pulled her face forward and kissed her forehead.

She reached down and pulled off Emily's shoes and socks. She stood up and reached for Emily's hand, prompting her to stand so she could help her get her pants off. Emily moved to stand. Alison bent down and rolled her pants down, having her step out of one leg at a time. Instead of wearing underwear underneath her gym clothing she was wearing her high cut exercise shorts. That's all she'd had in her gym bag at the school this morning.

Alison stood back up and then carefully lifted Emily's arms, watching her face as she did to make sure she wasn't hurting her. Emily followed her motions and Alison pulled her shirt over her head, leaving her in her sports bra and shorts.

Alison traced her fingers down Emily's side and ghosted her fingertips over the bruises covering her skin. Now that she could see them in the light she could see the outline of her ribs around all the busted capillary veins underneath her skin. The injuries looked so painful. She wasn't entirely sure that her ribs weren't broken. Then again, if they were broken Emily probably wouldn't have been able to be as physical as she'd been today. Alison gently touched one of her bruises. Why would she do this to herself? How could she do it to herself?

"How much pain are you in?" Alison asked, looking up at her. "And don't lie to me."

Emily didn't answer. Her physical pain was nothing compared to her emotional pain. She just shrugged her shoulders and stared at the wall.

Alison walked to the counter and opened the medicine cabinet. There was a full bottle of pain medication Emily had been prescribed when she'd come home from the hospital that hadn't been touched, because as Alison had been reminded today…Emily preferred the physical pain to take her mind off of her emotional pain. Alison popped the top and tipped the bottle until a pill fell into her hand. She went over to the sink and grabbed a cup sitting next to the faucet and filled it with water.

When she turned around she saw that Emily was sitting down again. She walked over to Emily, prepared for a fight, prepared for Emily to tell her she wasn't going to take the medication. Instead, Emily just looked at her, a sad pitiful expression on her face.

"I'm not going to watch you suffer like you did in the hospital." Alison lifted Emily's hand and put the pill in her palm. She closed Emily's fingers around it and pushed her hand up, keeping her fingers underneath Emily's wrist so she didn't drop it. She put the glass of water near her other hand and waited. "Take it." She was prepared to shove it down her throat if she didn't. "Stop punishing yourself." Emily had to deal with the mental pain, but Alison wasn't going to let her be in physical pain, not when she had a way to help with that.

Emily wanted to tell her it wasn't about that. She wanted to tell her that the last thing she needed to do right now was dull her senses. Being doped up when someone was trying to kill her would be like walking right up to him and waving a white flag and then pulling the trigger for him. But she couldn't speak, or didn't want to. She wasn't sure which. And she knew Alison was right. Her injuries were going to hurt like hell once the shock of everything wore off. So she uncurled her fingers and brought her hand up to her mouth. She reached out and absentmindedly took the glass from Alison and then popped the pill and swallowed it, chasing it with the cool water from the sink.

It took her a second to realize that she had barely had anything to drink all day. And she hadn't eaten anything at all except a bite of eggs she'd sampled at breakfast to make sure they were done for Alison. She downed the entire glass of water. It soothed her throat. When she was done she lowered the glass and stared at it. She saw it starting to fog up from the steam filling the bathroom. Then she saw Alison's hand come into her field of vision to take the cup. She didn't react.

"You want some more water?" Alison asked.

Emily didn't move. She didn't even look up at her. Alison sighed. She'd expected Emily to shut down after her walls crumbled, but she hadn't expected her to become a complete zombie. She had never seen her this distraught, not even after her first girlfriend Maya had been killed. Alison had seen her fall apart in Spencer's arms that night. She'd felt her heart shattering from a distance, but she'd had to stay in the shadows.

She couldn't be there for her then, but the important thing was that she could be there for her now. Emily had been her rock more than once. Alison remembered her own catatonia, first after her mother had been murdered and then after her sister Charlotte's death. Emily had sat with her both times, holding her hand, comforting her. Emily was the only one who could reach her then, just like Alison knew she was the only one who could reach Emily now.

Alison leaned down and put her hands against Emily's knees.

"Baby, I can't help you if you don't talk to me." She lifted one of her hands and put her palm against Emily's cheek. "Em, I know it hurts." She moved Emily's face until their eyes met. "I know how you feel." Alison cupped her cheek in her hand.

She'd felt the same way when the doctor had delivered the news about Grace. It was an insurmountable amount of pain. And Emily had been letting that pain build for three months. Feeling it with no filter after that long, nothing between her mind and the loss, had created a shockwave in her that had rendered her totally helpless and at the mercy of her emotions. Emily felt like every layer in her body was being peeled with a sharp blade and ripped off like a bandaid.

"You understand why I pushed you, right?" Alison asked, trying to pull her out of her spiral.

Emily glanced at her, but she didn't respond. She just looked at her.

"You were pushing yourself so hard that you were slowly killing yourself. I just couldn't watch you do that to yourself anymore."

She'd seen Emily's pain breaking through the cracks in her foundation today and she knew she was vulnerable, and she'd taken the opportunity to strike while she could. She'd known that there was no way Emily could look into their baby girl's eyes and not feel everything she'd been repressing. She knew her actions to get to Emily were drastic, but sitting back and doing nothing would have been more detrimental.

Emily's gaze had drifted away again.

"Emily, please look at me. I didn't…I-I didn't mean to break you."

I was already broken. Emily thought to herself.

Alison was the only reason she'd lasted as long as she did. She wanted to tell her that, but her words were frozen in her throat. The part of her brain in charge of her speech was completely dead to her.

"God, say something." Alison begged. "Yell at me. Tell me to fuck off. Just talk to me!" She felt her eyes starting to water. "Please say something." She couldn't stand the silence any longer. "Tell me what I can do to fix this – how to help. Tell me what you need."

Emily looked at Alison, still silent. She could feel Alison's warm palm against her already overheated cheek. Yet despite the fact that she was hot on the outside, her insides felt like she was still trapped in a body of icy water. She shuddered. Her body trembled. She needed warmth. She needed to feel a connection to the world before she sank down under the waves completely. She needed Alison.

She leaned forward and captured Alison's lips with her own and moved against her body as she stood up, moving Alison to stand with her. Alison automatically kissed back, her body relaxing, her lips melting into Emily's. She pushed into the kiss, unable to resist her wife. Alison suddenly felt very hot. The bathroom was starting to fill up with steam and Emily's body heat was sweltering. Alison felt Emily's hands against her neck and she sighed against her lips.

The kiss was slow at first, but then Emily pushed harder. She commanded control of it. Her hands moved from Alison's neck down the curves of her body until they landed at the trim of her skirt. Emily slipped her fingertips underneath her shirt and up against Alison's sides, finding her skin slippery with sweat.

Emily grabbed Alison's waist and pulled her close. Her tongue demanded access to Alison's mouth, which was automatically granted. She moved them back until Alison was up against the wall. She pinned Alison's wrists back and pushed her leg in between her thighs. Alison felt a spark of heat between her legs, but she knew they shouldn't do this.

"Mmm…baby, no." Alison stopped her, pulling her lips away. She shook her hands free. "Em, wait…wait." She tried to slow her down. "Not now. Not like this."

It was so hard to deny her, even harder when Emily's thigh was up against her center grinding against her. Because despite knowing they shouldn't, Alison's body was betraying her mind. She involuntarily moved with Emily's motions, knowing that Emily could feel her wetness through her underwear.

"Emily, w-we have to talk about this." Alison begged, her knuckles gently stroking Emily's cheeks, which were dripping with perspiration.

"I don't want to talk." Her voice startled Alison. They were the first words she'd said since they left the gym.

Emily was done talking. Her hands grasped at the back of Alison's thighs up underneath her skirt, pulling her closer. She curled her fingers against the back of her thigh and hoisted it up against her hip, her hand hooking underneath Alison's knee, holding her against her waist. Alison felt their pelvic regions connect and she groaned.

Emily pushed Alison's hair aside and sucked against her neck as she rubbed against her. Alison got lost in her movements. Emily's lips were hot and soft and she could feel the slick moist trails she was leaving behind as she nipped and licked her skin.

"Sweetie…" Alison put her hand against Emily's stomach. She was panting. "You're hurt…"

"I need you, Ali," she said it with such a gentle begging tone that she sounded so small, so meek. "Please. I need you." She repeated again softly. She peered into Alison's eyes, her big brown eyes desperate for her wife to give in. "I need us."

She wanted to feel anything other than the agony she was in right now. She just wanted to be with Alison. The tether to her sanity had completely snapped and she needed Alison to find her way back. She couldn't keep a grasp on the world around them without reaching out and grabbing on to her. It was something Alison couldn't deny her. Emily was exposed, stripped bare in a way she hadn't let Alison see in a long time. She was vulnerable. She needed her.

"You'll always have me, honey." Alison gave in and kissed her back. She curled her leg against Emily's hip and let her take control again.

Despite the heated arguing they'd been doing lately, their embrace was filled with nothing but love and desire. Their physical encounters always were. It was their declaration of love. It's how they spoke without speaking. It's how they always reached each other, even when they were unreachable. It's how they kept one another from disappearing into the darkness in their minds. It was a comfort to both of them, having a safe place in each other. And they had needed that comfort a lot lately.

Alison tugged at Emily's sports bra, careful not to hit her bruises as she moved to pull it off over her head. Emily pushed Alison against the wall again, her hands sliding up Alison's shirt, hastily pulling it off over her head. She unhooked her bra and had it off in one fluid motion.

Emily buried her face against the top of her breasts and pressed a hard kiss against her soft flesh. She could taste the salty sweat on Alison's skin. She dragged her tongue across a thin layer of perspiration that had built up in between her naked bosom. She kissed the divot in between her breasts, feeling Alison's heart fluttering against her lips. She worked her way back up to Alison's lips as she pushed Alison's skirt and panties down.

Alison reached in between their bodies and pushed her hand into Emily's shorts, her fingers dipping down and sliding through her hot center. Emily bucked into her hand, her pelvis grinding against Alison's fingers, but she reached down and pulled on her wrist to get Alison's hand out from in between her thighs. She pulled her lips away from Alison's, breathing hot against her cheek.

"You first," she whispered huskily against her ear.

Emily grabbed the back of Alison's other thigh and lifted her up, picking her up and forcing her hard against the wall. Alison instinctively wrapped her legs around Emily and grasped at the back of her neck, but her words contradicted her actions as she whined out a concerned cry.

"Em, your ribs…"

"I don't care," she said, ignoring the pain. The pain meds would help her with that later. "They look worse than they are."

She could feel Alison throbbing against her bare stomach and she felt her own arousal pulse at the sensation. She reached up and pulled at the elastic band of her shorts and wriggled out of them. The garment fell against the floor and finally, their hot flesh was flush together.

Alison moaned and moved up and down against Emily. She grabbed the back of her neck firmly and pushed Emily's face towards her chest. She threw her head back when she felt Emily's lips against her nipple. She twisted her fingers in Emily's hair and got so caught up in their passion that she didn't even feel it when Emily moved them towards the shower a few steps away.

She heard a click and realized that Emily had opened the shower door. A heated gust of steam hit them. Emily twirled them around until they were underneath the spray of water. Emily's body tensed from the dual sensations of Alison's weight against her and the water beating against her bruised body. But she didn't stop. She let the water fall over them, heating their warm sticky skin, gliding over them, baptizing them and washing away their trials and tribulations. Wet tangled hair fell into their faces as they moved their lips and bodies together.

Alison slid down until her core was right over Emily's. Emily used one hand to hold Alison up and the other to massage her engorged center. The water and steam from the shower was hot. But Alison's arousal was hotter. Emily slipped two fingers into her. Alison gasped and then moaned into Emily's mouth. She pulled Emily's lip in between hers and then started shifting down against Emily's fingers, taking them in, savoring the feeling. She pulled her lips away from Emily's and looked down between their bodies to see Emily's fingers buried in between her legs, disappearing up to her battered knuckles.

Alison moved her hips and watched in awe as she slid up and down against Emily's fingers, watching as they moved in and out in a perfect rhythm. Her pants and cries echoed off of the walls, the acoustics making them more apparent over the running water. She felt a hot ball of energy burning in her stomach. A tight pressure was building inside of her, stretching and spreading throughout every cell in her body. She could feel herself uncoiling, an elasticity in her body being pulled to its limits on the edge of snapping at any moment.

She looked up to see Emily watching her and smiling at her because of how beautiful she was in the midst of her passion. Alison pushed a hard kiss against Emily's mouth, biting her lip as she felt her climax approaching.

Alison's legs stiffened around Emily's hips. She arched her back, pushing her chest against Emily's chest, sending a pang of pain through Emily's body. Her muscles started burning. She almost lost her balance, but she managed to keep her feet on the ground. She accidentally pushed Alison roughly against the wall. The back of Alison's head hit the tile and she huffed out a surprised cry.

"Sorry," Emily murmured against her mouth, immediately pulling her face back to check on her. "You okay?"

Surprisingly, the sensation of the pain mixed with the heightened pleasure growing between her legs made the sex more enjoyable. Alison grabbed the back of Emily's head roughly and yanked on her hair as she moved down against Emily's fingers, fully seating herself on them, her thighs slapping against Emily's body.

"Don't stop."

Alison was so close. She tightened her legs around Emily, pushing her fingers to go deeper as she tried to gather enough pressure to help her reach her release. Her back slid up and down against the slick tile wall as their movements increased in speed and momentum. Alison rocked against Emily's thrusts, squeezing her legs around Emily's waist to pull her in deeper.

She followed Emily's motions as the brunette set a slower pace of pumping in and out, grazing her inner walls, knowing Alison was close. Alison watched her work. Their eyes met and through their gaze Alison could see that Emily was everything she hadn't been lately. She was focused. Present. In the moment. Open. Exposed.

Alison felt Emily's fingers curl at the same moment her thumb circled the throbbing sensitive bundle of flesh between her legs and she cried out. When she hit her peak she felt her entire body giving out. She lowered her head against Emily's shoulder and bit down gently, Emily's hair flowing against her face like a gentle breeze in the wind. She craned her head back against the wall again, her body writhing, her eyes slamming shut.

She could feel the water hitting her chest like warm fingers touching every cell in her body. She was so glad Emily was holding her up, because otherwise she would have fallen to the floor. She would have turned into jelly and been sucked down the drain with the water.

Emily's legs and back were burning from holding Alison up. The cuts on her knuckles were being pulled taut. Her ribs were screaming at her. But feeling Alison's body shuddering against hers made all of it worth it.

Alison opened her eyes and tipped her head forward to meet Emily's forehead as her hips jerked uncontrollably against Emily. Her walls pulsed around Emily's fingers. Her body seized. Her lips parted and her mouth fell open. She grunted out a quiet whimper and then she slowed her motions down. She panted against Emily's face. Emily saw her eyes darken, her pupils blown and full. Alison's body quivered and she huffed out a shaky exhalation. Emily felt a hot wet substance that wasn't from the shower dripping down her palm and over her wrist. It trickled down Emily's arm and Alison's thighs.

Alison stared at her for a few seconds as she rode it out. It astonished her that after being together for so long Emily could still touch her like this. Not just sexually. But in every way. Her mermaid was inside of her in every way. Alison grasped at the sides of Emily's neck, her forehead still planted firmly against Emily's. Water was streaming down both of their cheeks. A thin trail of water trickled down Emily's lips, full and swollen from their encounter. Alison pushed a firm kiss against them, feeling Emily's mouth move in sync with hers. Alison pulled back, breathing heavily.

She stopped moving and closed her eyes, just feeling Emily's body against hers, feeling the fullness of Emily's fingers inside of her, her insides still twitching. Her chest heaved as she tried to get her breathing under control. She opened her eyes and planted a slow sensual kiss on Emily's lips, her fingers trailing all along Emily's cheeks and into her wet hair.

They pulled their lips away at the same time to get some air, but they remained connected. Emily's eyes burned through hers, dark and wide with desire. Emily kept her eyes locked on Alison's as she pulled her fingers out, feeling her tremor against her as she did. Alison's legs loosened and she slid down until her feet were against the shower floor, splashing water against the tile.

They were both heaving for breath. For a few minutes they held one another, hands cupping faces, lips occasionally brushing against each other. Neither one of them said anything. They just got lost in familiar touches, in the curves of one another, in the motions of one another, in the essence of one another.

Alison's hands slowly moved down Emily's hips to her thighs and then her fingers crept in between Emily's legs. She felt Emily stiffen at her touch. She glanced at her and saw a look of reservation on her face. But it wasn't a look that told her to stop. It was a look that told her that Emily thought she wasn't worthy. Emily blinked back tears. She had so much she wanted to say to her wife. She had so much to make up to her. But she didn't know where to begin.

"I'm sorry," Emily whispered. Alison could barely hear her over the running water. "I put you through hell, Ali. And I'm sorry. I should have done so much differently. I should have told you everything I was going through, that…that I was hurting. I should have let you in. I shouldn't have pushed you away. You didn't deserve that. I was just…" She shook her head, trying not to let her tears fall, "…I was a fucking idiot."

"But you're my fucking idiot." Alison kissed her forehead. Emily looked down, but Alison pushed her chin back up. "Hey, no matter what we go through I will always love you." She buried her lips against Emily's bare shoulder and kissed it, her wet hair gently slapping against Emily's skin. "No more apologies, baby. I will be here for you the whole way." Another kiss, this one further down against her clavicle. "I'll be here when you find your way out of this. I'm going to help you. You told me that was enough." She pressed her lips against Emily's collar bone and kissed her there. She looked up at Emily. "Am I still enough?"

Emily nodded.

"Good." Alison pressed a soft kiss against Emily's lips. She gripped her cheeks with her hands, watching as the water cascaded down their joined bodies. Emily looked every bit like the beautiful mermaid Alison had always seen her as in her dreams. "I want you to listen to me when I say this, Emily." Her eyes locked on Emily's. "You're not broken. There is nothing wrong with you." She kissed her again. "You don't deserve pain." Another kiss. "You don't deserve to hurt." Another lull in her words as she ghosted her lips over Emily's. "You deserve to be here. You deserve to be alive. You deserve love." Alison caressed her hip with one hand and brushed her cheek with her other. "You deserve to feel good things." She pushed Emily back against the shower wall and used her thigh to push Emily's knees apart. "And if you ever say you wish you were dead again I will bury you myself." Her lips crashed against Emily's at the same moment she sank two fingers into her dripping wet heat.

Emily's back slid up against the wall and she immediately bucked against her wife's hand, her cries getting lost in Alison's mouth. She started moving with her, not realizing just how much she truly had needed her, to feel her, to let her in. Alison felt Emily's hands against her ass, pulling her closer. She pulled her lips away from Emily's and kissed her way down her neck. She nipped on her left breast as she moved in and out of her, her fingers dragging across her clit as she did. She felt Emily's thighs twitching.

Alison pressed a kiss in between Emily's breasts. She was very conscious of Emily's bruises and was careful not to get too rough with her. She gently took Emily's nipple in her mouth and rolled her tongue over it, watching as Emily's muscles tightened in pleasure. She dipped down to kiss her belly button at the same moment Emily's back arched and Alison's nose roughly hit a bruise on Emily's rib. She felt her tense up and hiss under her breath.

Alison looked up at her and opened her mouth to ask her if she was okay, but Emily interrupted her, a look of pure ecstasy on her face.

"Keep going." Emily nodded out through her heavy breaths. "I'm good. I want…I-I need…oh…" Her mouth parted and she had to stop to catch her breath. "More." Emily threw her head back against the tile.

Alison thrusted roughly, adding a third finger and pushing her palm against her tightly wound bundle of nerves. Alison was surprised at how quickly Emily tightened around her fingers. She attached her mouth to Emily's breast, kissing and sucking as Emily's chest heaved up and down. She felt Emily's hand raking through her hair, her fingers twisting into her long blonde locks pushing her mouth further against her breast.

Alison slowed her momentum down, each movement of her fingers driving into her wife with a dedicated purpose. She felt Emily quivering. She pulled back and stopped pumping and slowly pushed forward and up at an angle, slightly twitching her fingers inside of her. It sent Emily over the edge. Emily's palm landed against the shower door, her hand dragging across the fog in the glass leaving behind a trail of her handprint in the foggy condensation as she tried to keep her balance. She grabbed the railing on the door.

Alison heard Emily suck in a gasp and cry out. Alison pulled her lips away from Emily's chest and stood up to meet Emily's gaze. Through Emily's hooded lids she could see her eyes rolling backwards. Her eyelids fluttered closed, but Alison moved her free hand to the side of her neck.

"Hey, eyes on mine, baby." Alison wrapped her fingers against the back of Emily's neck and pushed her forehead against Emily's. "Let me see you." She wanted to see her when she came. She wanted Emily to see her. She needed Emily to let her in. "Look at me, Emily."

Emily's fingers brushed against Alison's cheek and she pushed her hand against her face as she concentrated on Alison's face, looking into her eyes as she felt her body burning in the most sensational way. Her limbs felt like they were on fire. She felt warm, and for the first time in a long time, she felt safe. Looking into Alison's eyes was the only thing in the world that gave her comfort. She stared into her wife's soul and Alison looked right back at her, her gaze dripping with affection.

Alison could see everything in Emily's eyes when she let her walls down. Not just the pleasure, but the pain she'd been holding inside. She could see her guilt over Grace's death. Her internalized rage that she'd been working so hard to contain. Her grief. Her frustration with herself. Her nerves and anxiety. And fear. She saw a lot of fear. Something had her terrified. Alison saw her drowning.

Oh, sweetie… Alison thought to herself.

Alison saw so much pain. Emily had been destroying herself for what had happened to their daughter. How she'd been able to survive the amount of anguish Alison saw in her soul was a miracle. Alison's hand slipped out from the back of her neck down to the nape of her neck. She rubbed Emily's neck, her fingertips touching Emily's cheek. Alison's touch was like a warm summer day, a phenomenon as familiar as the sun. Emily could feel her all over her body, inside and out.

Emily's jaw went slack as her orgasm rolled over her in waves. Her entire body tensed. She huffed out a heavy breath against Alison's face and pushed her forehead further against Alison's, her eyes trained on Alison's as her body stiffened and then twitched with ripples of pleasure. For just a few seconds the rest of the world didn't exist. All she could see was Alison.

She kept her eyes fixed on Alison's as she felt herself letting go, body and soul. Alison's eyes were everything her touch was. Warm. Encouraging. Demanding. Emily felt a hot rush of bliss wash over her, a euphoric explosion of ecstasy filling her senses. She could see colors dancing in the water around them, a trail of beautiful hues painting them and their surroundings, leaving behind dozens of glimmering rainbows in their wake. This was what life should be. The pleasure overriding the pain.

Her pelvis jerked and she felt a warm flow of liquid dripping out of her and into Alison's palm, coating her hand. She pushed her lips against Alison's and their mouths and tongues danced together as Emily came down from her high. She pulled back, dizziness surging over her. She pushed her forehead against Alison's again, finding her comforting gaze.

They were both hot panting messes when it was over, their bodies leaning in trying to find support in one another, their foreheads meeting and their noses brushing as they smiled and pecked at each other's lips. They held one another as they quietly let their emotions wash over them.

Alison saw Emily opening and closing her fists in the water, trying to loosen the tension in her knuckles. Alison reached down and took both of Emily's hands in hers. She gingerly kissed her injured knuckles and then held them in the edge of the misty water, helping her work the pain out of each of her fingers. And just like that, the sexual touches turned into a nurturing loving attention.

Alison washed Emily's hair, her fingers deeply massaging her scalp because she knew that Emily was really feeling her injuries after their intense passionate encounter. Emily lathered up Alison's back, kissing her shoulder innocently as she ran her fingers up and down, gently circling her skin to loosen her tense back muscles. Alison glanced at her over her shoulder and smiled sweetly at her.

It wasn't very often that the two of them got to enjoy a long hot shower together, so they stayed in the shower until the water turned tepid.

Alison stepped out first, grabbing a couple of towels from the shelves. Emily turned the water off. She turned around and moved towards the door, but another surge of dizziness came over her. She put her hand against the door and waited for a moment and then stepped out. Alison had her towel wrapped around herself.

"Drunk me would be very happy right now." Alison handed Emily a towel and then leaned in to kiss her temple. Sober her was ecstatic.

When Emily reached for the towel Alison saw that one of the abrasions on her knuckles was still oozing. Emily wrapped the towel around her body, feeling an odd weighted sensation irritating her ribs when she did. It didn't hurt. It just annoyed her. Her skin felt sensitive.

Alison reached down and grabbed Emily's hands to look at the scabs forming on Emily's knuckles. She motioned for Emily to sit down and then she went to the medicine cabinet and grabbed the first aid kit.

"Ali, you don't have to…"

"Try and stop me." Alison opened the kit and pulled out an antiseptic gel and a package of roll gauze.

Emily sat down. Alison gently dried her knuckles and then rubbed the antiseptic on them. Then she started wrapping them in the gauze. As Alison tended to her hands Emily watched her, amazed by the love they had for one another. After everything, the love they had was still solid.

Emily's grief was still at the forefront of her mind, but it wasn't smothering her anymore. It wasn't drowning her and ripping her apart at the moment. Being with Alison had helped. It had lessened her pain. It had reminded her that she had something to live for.

But then she remembered that the danger wasn't over yet. She remembered someone still wanted her dead. Her vision started tunneling and she felt like she was swimming underwater. Her thoughts started swirling around.

When Alison finished doctoring her knuckles she glanced at Emily's face and saw the weird look in her eyes.

"What's wrong?"

Emily didn't respond at first and Alison thought she was going mute on her again.

"Hey. No, no, Em, don't disappear on me again." She reached up and put her palm on her face.

"No, it's not that." Emily blinked slowly. "I f-feel dizzy." She lowered her head and squeezed her eyes shut. She could hear a pulsing noise in her head.

"Is it your ribs? Does your chest hurt?" Alison asked, her face tight with concern. "Can you breathe okay?" She dropped her palm down to the side of her neck.

"No," Emily said, but before Alison could panic she quickly added, "because you take my breath away."

"Cute." Alison rolled her eyes. Normally she'd kiss her for being dorky, but she was too worried. Emily looked flushed and she could feel her pulse beating erratically against her hand.

"I don't feel bad. Just lightheaded. I think it's the pain meds kicking in."

"Crap." Alison's eyes widened in realization. "Yeah. Probably. I completely forgot that you're not supposed to take them on an empty stomach. Have you eaten anything today?"

Just asphalt and dirt. She thought to herself. Emily shook her head, the motion making her dizziness worse.

"Come on." Alison helped her up.

She helped her into the bedroom and then ran off to the kitchen to get her something to eat. Alison tried to get her to eat, but Emily refused. She felt like if she tried to eat something she'd throw up. Ali made her drink a sports drink because she knew it had electrolytes in it. Then she made her lie down. Alison crawled into bed next to her. Emily automatically curled against her body. She laid her head against Alison's collar bone and draped her arm around her waist.

"How are you feeling?" Alison kissed the top of her head.

"Tired." Emily felt drained in every way. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically.

"Then go to sleep. Get some rest." Alison played with her hair. "I'll be right here when you wake up."

Emily felt an irrational fear that if she went to sleep her life would be over, because she would be vulnerable and easy to attack, especially on pain medications. Not to mention, all she could think about were the nightmares she'd had in the hospital when she was on pain meds.

"No." She looked up at her. "Alison, please don't let me go to sleep." He'll kill me. He'll slip in, kill you, and then make me look at your body before he kills me.

Alison saw that palpable fear in her eyes again. What was she so afraid of? Herself? Her nightmares?

"You have to rest, honey. Your body needs it."

"But I…"

Did she tell her? Did she put her in danger? She didn't even begin to know how to tell her what she'd been doing. All of a sudden all she could picture was what had happened to Maurice happening to Alison. And it made her feel physically sick. She thought about something happening to Alison because of her and she choked back a cry, her body jumping at the stifled movement.

"Hey, I'm right here." Alison wrapped her arms tightly around her.

Emily felt her eyes getting heavy. She fought it. She fought it with everything she had. But eventually she felt herself fading. When Alison felt Emily relax against her chest she breathed a sigh of relief. She wrapped her arms around her, silent tears falling down her cheeks.

Emily's pain and guilt had been unbearable to feel. It was worse than her own, because she couldn't take it away. She'd only been able to grant her the reprieve that they'd both sorely needed in the form of love and affection. She knew Emily was a long way from being okay, but the fact that she'd let it out was a step in the right direction.

She laid with Emily for nearly an hour before she realized she was supposed to be picking Lily up soon. She slipped out of the bed and stepped out into the hallway, never taking her eyes off of Emily, wanting to be there if she needed her.

She called Pam to tell her what was going on. She was initially just going to ask her to pick Lily up so she didn't have to leave Emily, but Pam went above and beyond and suggested that Lily stay with her again for the night.

"Pam, are you sure?" Ali asked.

"Whatever she needs, Alison." Pam didn't hesitate. "Whatever you need." She added empathetically. "And Lily will be okay with it. Believe me, we've had several conversations these past few weeks."

"How is she? Really?"

Ali knew that Lily was a lot like Emily when it came to her emotions. Lily had closed herself off the same way Emily had, but to a lesser extent. At the very least she clung to Pam and talked to some of her friends. And mouthed off to get her frustrations out.

"She misses her." Pam sighed. "It's really hard for her. But she's holding it together better than most adults I know. She's an incredible kid, Ali. You and Emily have done really well with her."

Ali felt misty-eyed hearing that. It was bittersweet. It made her think a lot about Grace. It made her realize just how wonderful being a parent truly was, and how much she missed having Grace around to mother.

She missed picking up her dirty dishes from all over the house. She missed bitching to Emily about the fact that Grace was being a little shit and mouthing off to her. She missed telling Grace to watch her mouth when she heard her cussing. She missed snapping at her for coming home past curfew and telling her not to clip her toenails on the kitchen table and yelling at her for leaving her shoes out where people could trip on them. She missed Grace getting into mischief and making messes and breaking things. She missed all the little annoyances she'd really taken for granted.

Ali glanced at Emily and saw that she was grimacing in her sleep. She walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge. She put her hand on Emily's cheek. Emily's frown faded and a look of peace washed over her face.

"I'll take care of your little girl," Pam said, her voice riddled with emotion. "You just take care of mine."

"Always." Ali replied quietly, delicately brushing some of Emily's hair out of her face.

Emily reached out in her sleep and wrapped her fingers around Ali's hand. Ali said her goodbyes to Pam and then crawled back into bed with Emily.

Pam got ready to go pick up her granddaughter. She called her to let her know they were going to get to have another fun-filled night of sitting in their PJs and watching movies. Lily was very stoic about it. She carried herself really well around her friends.

After Lily hung up she went back to working on her science project with Harper and Fiona. They were creating DNA modules. Harper was going on and on about boring facts while Lily and Fiona looked at one another and laughed at her perfectionism.

"Did you know that our bodies can reverse some damages done to DNA over time, but the damages that can't be fixed turn into mutations?" Harper highlighted something in her book and then went back to crafting their module.

"Are you calling us mutants?" Fiona asked with a laugh. "That's so cool. I want to be Storm from X-men."

"You'd be better off as Wolverine with his super-fast healing abilities." Harper shrugged, glancing at Fiona. "How are you feeling by the way? Are you taking care of your bruises from the seat belt burn?"

"Stop mothering me. I'm older than you." Fiona glared.

"Yeah, but I'm smarter." Harper whipped back.

Lily worked quietly on cutting out a piece of cardboard for the base of the module. As she pieced it together she started thinking about a time she'd done a project with Grace about them being twins. Of course, she had ended up with all of the work. Grace had always been so lazy about school work, even when they were in elementary school.

She stopped working. She felt her eyes burning and she suddenly felt like she needed to get away. Fiona noticed her discomfort.

"Hey, you okay?" Fiona asked.

Harper looked up from what she was doing and saw Lily squirming uncomfortably.

"I think I'm gonna step outside for some air. You guys keep working. I'll be back in a few minutes." She hastily walked out of the room.

"Do we follow her or leave her alone?" Harper looked to Fiona for guidance.

Fiona thought it over. She thought about what her mom and dad would do. Aria and Ezra had taught her and Kai the art of when to lend a helping hand and when to let someone be by themselves.

"Let her breathe for a minute. Then we'll check on her."

"I'm worried." Harper frowned.

"I know." Fiona sighed. "Me, too."

They quietly went back to working on their project, both of them glancing at the clock. After a few minutes they heard rustling and thought Lily was on her way back in, but it was just Eli coming through the back door. He saw Harper and Fiona staring at him.

Harper had a smarmy look on her face.

"You look like a complete nerd in that beret." She shook her head.

He didn't miss the X-ACTO knife in his sister's hand.

"They let you be in charge of the sharp objects?" Eli frowned, making a face at his little sister. "That's sure to end well," he said sarcastically.

"Do you really want to give me crap right now?" Harper held the blade up.

"You don't scare me, squirt." He opened the fridge and reached in to grab a drink.

"I should. I could kick your ass with one hand tied behind my back."

"Whatever." He took his time deciding on what he wanted to drink. "Where's Lily?"

"Front porch," Fiona answered.

He turned around and read the looks on their faces.

"Is she okay?"

"No." Harper put the X-ACTO knife down and looked at him. "So you're up, Romeo."

"Excuse me?" Eli asked.

"Look, for some stupid reason Lily only lets you in. So go talk to her. Make sure she's okay."

"God, you're a bossy little thing." Eli rolled his eyes. He looked at Fiona. "I hope she's nicer to you girls."

"We have to feed her animal crackers as a snackrifice to appease her," Fiona answered.

"Fi!" Harper whined. "You're supposed to be on my side."

"Uh oh. You've angered her." Eli snorted. "Time to burn a cookie to satisfy her Dark Underlord." He grabbed two sodas from the fridge.

He glanced in the living room, trying to catch a glimpse of Lily out the front window.

"But soft! What light through yonder window breaks…" Harper batted her eyes at him teasingly as she quoted Shakespeare at him.

Fiona giggled. Eli glared at the girls. He did not appreciate being teased.

"You know Romeo and Juliet both died in the end, right? That's a terrible romance."

"Just go before I make you le mincemeat." Harper held up the X-ACTO knife.

Eli shrugged and started to walk towards the living room.

"Hey, let us know if she needs anything." Fiona called out after him.

"Will do." He walked out.

When he opened the front door he found Lily sitting on the steps. He didn't say anything as he walked up behind her. He leaned against the railing and handed her the soft drink he'd grabbed for her and then popped the top on his drink and took a sip.

"You can send me away if you want," he said, not wanting to crowd her.

"You'd just sit in the house and fret the whole time." She kept her gaze fixed on the setting sun.

"I happen to be very good at fretting." Eli laughed. "I find it to be one of my best qualities."

"They sent you out here to check on me, didn't they?"

"Nah. I saw that Harper had a knife and decided to get out while I still could." He sat down beside her. "Seriously bad idea giving her a weapon, Lil."

She laughed and looked over at him.

"You're wearing the beret." Lily couldn't help but smile.

"My mom made me. Something about showing I'm thankful for my gifts…"

"You liar. You like it." Lily smirked.

"Yeah, yeah." He shrugged with a smile on his face.

There was a beat and then Lily smiled.

"Looks good on you," she said.

"Thanks." He leaned back. "But I'm insanely jealous of the girls getting tote bags. Where's my matching purse? What am I supposed to keep my fancy cheeses and wines in?"

"Borrow Harper's."

"Did you miss that whole conversation where I mentioned she has a weapon?"

"Is the mighty Eli Cavanaugh afraid of the tiny ninety pound snark-filled twig?"

"When the ninety pound twig has a sharp object and a history of throwing shit at my head, yes. She almost split my head open with a soccer cleat once."

Lily laughed, a memory flashing through her mind.

"Grace threw a fork at my head once."

"I remember that. You guys were trying to make a cake for Iris's birthday. You whacked her with a spoon for licking the frosting." He chuckled.

"And she got all sassy and flung the fork and told me to 'go fork myself'." Lily laughed. Her smile soon faded when she realized she wasn't ever going to be making memories like that with her sister again. "I miss her so much," she said quietly.

Eli wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug. The air was quiet for several minutes. Lily sighed and lowered her head. After a few seconds she lifted her chin and looked at Eli. Her big brown eyes were watering. Looking into them, Eli could see her vulnerabilities. She wasn't masking her pain.

"Do you think there is something wrong with me?" Lily asked, looking down again.

"What?" He was thrown by her question. "No. Of course not. Why would you think that?"

"I don't know." Her brow creased in thought. "I just feel like there is something wrong with me. Ever since Grace died I haven't felt like myself. I'm just kind of…floating. And I'm sad. And angry. I'm so angry." Her voice dropped an octave as she growled out. She wasn't a violent child, but she had a lot of pent up frustration and she didn't know how to handle it. If the boy who had been responsible for killing her sister was still alive she didn't know what she'd do to him. She was that mad. "And I just feel like a mess, like an artist just threw a bunch of random color splats on a canvas and mashed them all together to make one big blob." That's what she felt like. A big blob of nothingness.

"Look, you lost your sister. Your twin sister. It's okay not to feel normal. It's fine to feel messed up. It's okay to feel lost and confused and angry. As long as you don't let it become who you are."

"And who am I?" Lily faced him.

"You're Lily DiLaurentis-Fields," he said in a matter-of-fact manner. "You gave Harper your favorite doll when she fell and skinned her knee on the playground when she was three. You helped Kai work on his confidence when he had a crush on Scarlett in second grade. You stopped Iris and Fiona from getting into trouble for accidentally setting that desk on fire in fourth grade. You brought Levi soup that you made with your grandma when he got so sick with the flu that he ended up in the hospital. You spend every day making me feel better about life in general. Your moms love you. And you were the best sister in the world to Grace. There's nothing wrong with you, Lil."

Lily didn't know what to say at first. He was so sweet. She peered into his kind eyes. When she looked into his eyes she saw something she'd never seen before today. He didn't just care about her. He really loved her. Looking at him today, she didn't see the two-year-old who used to put underpants on his head and run around the house singing the Batman theme song. She saw a young man she really admired. She spontaneously leaned forward and planted a kiss on his cheek. He smiled and blushed.

"And I buy really good gifts." She added, fixing the beret on his head.

"The best." He nodded, a bashful look on his face.

"Thanks for not judging me." Lily sighed, glancing at the sunset.

"Of course. I'm always here for you." Eli put his hand on top of hers.

She laid her cheek against his shoulder. They sat in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying the view. They heard footsteps approaching. Eli saw him coming before Lily did. He tensed up and curled his fingers into a fist, ready to protect her when Zane came into view.

"Keep walking, Jacobs." Eli warned.

Zane ignored Eli.

"I need to talk to you." He addressed Lily and then glared at Eli. "Alone."

"Over my dead body." Eli stood up.

It pissed Zane off. Because the kid was being such a territorial little asshole. He knew all about Eli's dad doing the same in high school. He'd heard the stories of Toby Cavanaugh being an overbearing control freak with anger issues. It was no wonder Toby had ended up a cop. He liked the control.

"That could be arranged," Zane muttered to himself.

Zane stared at Eli, still irate about their altercation at school. Eli hadn't even gotten suspended. If their roles had been reversed Zane knew he'd be sitting in jail right now. He'd like to see how well Eli could handle himself with a bullet in his chest. Zane's fingers drifted to his waistband where he had a concealed weapon. But he knew better than to pull it out. He'd made that mistake with Lily's mom, and he'd damn nearly gotten caught by Marco. He needed to be patient. He didn't need to piss the boss off again.

"Stick to the plan," he'd been told.

He was so fucking sick of the plan. He was so sick of being told what to do. He wanted to just end it, but he couldn't afford to fuck up again. The teddy bear had been the first strike. The potshot he'd taken at Emily was his second. If he messed up again he'd be in deep shit. He wasn't stupid. He knew the only reason he was still alive was because of his lineage. But just because the Pit Vipers couldn't kill him doesn't mean they couldn't make him suffer.

He glowered at Eli and then looked at Lily again,

"It'll take like two minutes," Zane said, trying to ignore his desire to shoot Eli in the crotch.

Lily looked at Eli and then at Zane.

"Anything you want to say to me you can say in front of him." Lily shrugged.

"Don't be like that." Zane rolled his eyes.

He was starting to see that everything he'd been told about the DiLaurentis-Fields family wasn't just an exaggeration of typical high school drama. According to Del Toro, Emily had been just as much of a pain in the ass in high school as Lily was being right now. And apparently Alison had been a sniveling judgmental little snot.

"Like what?" Lily gave him a stony gaze.

"A total bitch."

"Hey, man, back off." Eli growled.

His hands curled into shaking fists. He took a step down off of the porch, but Lily reached out and gently grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Eli…" She shook her head at him. She didn't need him getting in trouble for her again.

"Why are you always coming at me, Cavanaugh?" Zane frowned.

"What can I say? You just have a punchable face."

"Lily, seriously, would you ditch this clown so I can talk to you?"

"Get the hell off of my property," Eli snapped.

"You just gonna let him keep being your mouthpiece, huh?" Zane looked at Lily.

Lily shrugged.

"Fine. Whatever." Zane huffed. "Suit yourself."

He'd figure out a way to get to her later, without her guard dog around. Del Toro had a plan, but Zane had one of his own. But he needed to get Lily alone first.

He stormed off and made his way back to a car around the corner. He peeled out of the block cursing under his breath. He reached in his pants and pulled out a flask and took a swig. He nearly sideswiped Pam's car as he rounded a corner too fast. He was really making it a habit of wrecking the DiLaurentis-Fields family with automobiles. But he was getting better at his grand theft auto game. He'd come a long way since he'd stolen the Bronco. It was supposed to be a routine boost, but then the crash happened and it had gotten complicated, especially after they found out who had been in the other car.

He'd felt guilty at first. He drank. A lot. And alcohol made him mouthy as hell. Still, he'd tried to make up for it in little ways. He'd sent an apology note to Emily with the wired teddy bear. He'd gone to Grace's funeral. He'd even tried to be nice to Lily. But everyone shafted his kindness and it made him realize what assholes they all were.

Del Toro had been right all along. He drove out to meet him like they planned. The abandoned lot was empty except for the hooded figure dressed in all black. Zane pulled the car up next to him and got out.

"You're late." An angry voice boomed over the top of the car.

"Traffic." Zane shrugged indifferently.

They stared at one another for a few seconds. Zane saw the little vein in his forehead throbbing in anger. Del Toro had been pretty unbearable to deal with since Emily had made it away from the trap they'd set for her at the bar. And he was pissed because there was one body unaccounted for and he didn't like loose ends.

"Well?" The man questioned.

"They got home a couple hours ago," Zane said.

"And?"

"And nothing. They went inside. I don't have X-Ray vision." Zane stumbled around the front of the car.

"Have you been drinking?"

"No." Zane snorted.

"Never drink on the job. Makes you sloppy. And you're already sloppy enough."

"I got the car here, didn't I?" Zane asked.

"Watch your tone you little shit." Anyone else would have been dead for the kind of insubordination the boy was showing, but Mary would send the dogs after him if he let anything happen to the kid.

Zane saw the murderous look in his eyes and he clammed up. He wasn't in the mood for another beating.

"Sorry."

"Yeah, you oughta be." He walked around to the driver's side and grabbed the door handle. "It's on for Saturday."

"But Saturday is Lily's birthday."

"The fuck do you care?" Angry eyes met Zane's and it made him cower.

"I don't." Zane tried to play it cool. "I just…" He frowned. "…isn't it a little messed up to do this on her kid's birthday?"

A dark laughed filled the air. The irony was lost on the young punk that he was responsible for killing that girl's sister on their parents' anniversary.

"What the hell do you think this is, Zane? Some pussy-ass children's show where we all end up around a bonfire sharing hot cocoa and s'mores? If she finds out you were driving the car that night you'll go to jail. You're not a kid anymore. And you've got a record." The fucking idiot never did know how to stay under the radar. "No more juvie bullshit slap on the wrist shit for you. I'm talking actual prison with big angry sexually frustrated dudes just itching to get their hands on your fresh pretty face…and other parts of you. You want to end up shacking up with some dude named Bubba? Be his little bitch?"

"No. But I thought the whole point of forcing Ryan to confess was to close that case."

He'd felt a little guilty about what had happened to Ryan, but he also knew that Ryan and his brother had killed a baby back in New York, so it wasn't something that bugged him too much. Mostly he just missed his weed hook-up.

"Just because a case is closed doesn't mean they can't re-open it if new evidence comes to light."

He had no idea how close Emily was to blowing that case wide open thanks to Zane's records. He didn't know she was sniffing around the police department. He didn't know that Zane's records were going to bite them both in the ass.

"There is too much connecting us to the crash. And I'm not fucking going down for your stupid mistake. So nut up and get your head in the game." He pulled the door open. Zane knew better than to say anything else, so he just nodded. "And I know you took my goddamn flask," he paused before climbing into the car. "I want it back."

They climbed in the stolen vehicle and drove off to finish up some loose ends from the firefight at Maurice's bar.

Emily was dreaming about that very spot. It was like a war zone in her mind. She saw the familiar faces of the dead. She smelled the burning flesh. It was so much worse in her nightmares. She'd been right about the pain medications making everything feel more realistic, though a part of that was because the meds lowered her inhibitions and her true feelings were seeping out.

She whimpered and then jerked in her sleep and startled Ali awake. Ali saw tears leaking past Emily's closed eyelids and she softly whispered to her to try and bring her out of it.

"Em…"

Emily heard Ali's voice in the smoke-infused room. The scene had erupted into complete chaos. She couldn't keep her memories straight. Her mind was so mixed up that she was not only seeing Maurice's gang. She was also seeing her dad and Grace. Her dad was decked out in his combat gear disappearing through the smoke and flames, rushing towards something Emily couldn't see. A flash filled up the room. She blinked and then saw that Maurice was covered in blood.

"Get out of here, Fields!" He yelled.

Another flash. Another explosion. Then she heard a scream and Ryan's voice,

"Help me! They'll kill me."

The bar was being engulfed in flames. She heard a gunshot and then the unmistakable sounds of metal crunching and glass breaking.

"Mom! Mommy!" She could hear Grace shouting for help, but she didn't see her anywhere.

She looked around in a panic. She lurched forward, but was stopped when a hand shot out of the darkness. She felt an arm wrapping around her throat. A gruff palm slammed over her mouth, muffling any cries for help she might try to get out.

In the bed, she squirmed around against Ali. She gurgled out a cry. Ali held her head tightly against her body, one hand cupping her cheek and the other stroking the back of her head.

"I'm here, baby. Wake up." Emily heard Ali's voice again.

The arm around her neck moved away from her trachea and reached back into the darkness, into a void she couldn't see. Then it suddenly reappeared above her head. Her eyes flickered towards the motion. She saw a twisted piece of metal from the car being grasped tightly as it swiftly moved down in an arc towards her exposed abdomen. The sharp jagged weapon disappeared into her belly and a sharp pain filled her body.

She looked down and saw that she wasn't in the bar anymore. She was in the car. It was filling up with something wet, but it wasn't water. She was drowning in blood. Her blood. Her stomach ached. She hadn't felt it in the car. But she felt it in the dream.

"Emily, you're okay. It's a nightmare, sweetie. It's just a nightmare."

Emily followed the sounds of Ali's voice. Her heavy sleep-filled eyes opened up. She stared at the wall in their bedroom. It took her a minute to realize her cheek was resting against the warm flesh of Ali's chest, a thin layer of sweat dripping off of her face and onto Ali's body.

Emily felt light-headed and distant, like she wasn't really awake. Her body felt like it was floating. It was the medication. She'd never been able to tolerate pain meds well.

The part of her brain in charge of vocabulary was a complete blur, so instead of talking she shakily searched for Ali's hand. Ali saw her movement and knew exactly what she was looking for. She put her hand over Emily's and Emily flipped her palm up so that her fingers were laced with Ali's. She squeezed hard and breathed out a heavy sigh. She felt tears rolling down her cheeks. Ali reached down with her other hand and brushed some of her sorrow away.

Emily nuzzled against Ali as she cried herself back to sleep. She woke up a few times, her consciousness waning. The only thing that kept her sane was feeling Alison's body against hers. She was usually the one who held Ali in her embrace, but it felt good to have the roles reversed.

After a while she fell into a deep peaceful slumber in Ali's arms. Her body and mind had finally hit its breaking point and she crashed, hard. Her mind was a blank.

Ali dozed off for a little while, but was always able to pull herself back into consciousness so she didn't fall too deep. She woke up around two to find that Emily had shifted down against the bed, the covers wrapped around her waist. Her cheek was turned facing Ali, but her back was flat against the bed, her arm draped over her stomach. In the soft light flooding the room from the lamp next to their bed she could see Emily's bruised ribs, the marks flowering out about above her arm. Whatever Emily had done to get away from her emotional pain had really done a number on her.

Emily shifted and Ali held her breath, hoping she wouldn't wake up in tears again. She didn't. She rolled her shoulder and moved her arm, turning her upper body just slightly towards Ali, like she was drawn to her, like she knew Ali was looking at her.

Ali sighed, looking at her injuries. The healing gashes. The fresh bruises. She had some of the answers, but not all of them. She still felt like she was missing a huge piece of the puzzle. She traced her index finger along the scar on Emily's belly. The raised pinkish white blemish stood out against her dark complexion.

She looked at the star-shaped divot in her stomach where the shrapnel had gone into her body. She cringed. The way Ali felt when she thought she was going to lose Emily rattled her brain. She touched Emily's cheek. She couldn't imagine life without her. She knew she needed to do something, so she stayed awake half the night thinking, plotting.

Emily woke up around six. Her body was aching, but she didn't feel anywhere near as bad as she thought she would. She looked over at Ali, who had finally gotten to sleep about half an hour before Emily had woken up. Emily moved up against the headboard, draping her hand over her ribs. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock.

She carefully slipped out of bed to go to the bathroom, stopping to grab her robe on the way. God help her if she was killed naked while sitting on the toilet. She could hear her mother's voice in her head,

"Always wear clean underwear so when you die people won't judge you for having dirty underwear."

After she was finished she stood over the sink, washing her hands. She let the water pool in her palms and splashed her face. She stared at her reflection, taking in her broken appearance. She pushed the robe aside to peer at her battered body. She ran her fingers over the bruises, flinching as she did.

But despite how beat up she was, she knew it could be worse. If Maurice hadn't pulled her out of the river she would have ended up dead. She sighed. As much as she wanted to wallow, she knew she was still on a time crunch. She knew she still had a mystery to solve.

She glanced down at her pants which had been thrown to the floor when Ali was cleaning her up yesterday. She picked them up and dug her phone out of the side pocket. She had a text from Hanna, two missed calls from Toby, a text from Spencer checking in on her, and a text from the police secretary Jo telling her to give her a call.

Her heart started beating faster in her chest. She wanted to call, but she knew that no one would be at the desk this early. She walked back over to the sink and put her phone down. She opened the medicine cabinet and stared at the medications. She stared at the bottle of her pain meds for the longest time, but decided on an extra-strength anti-inflammatory coupled with an over-the-counter pain medication that would not make her drowsy. She downed the pills.

"Em?" She heard Ali shuffling into the bathroom, "what are you doing up?"

Emily closed the medicine cabinet and turned around.

"You in pain?" Ali yawned, walking over to her.

"Just a little." Emily smiled weakly. "I figured I would take something before school."

Despite how shitty she felt she had been planning on going back in today. She knew she'd be safer there. And more importantly, Ali would be safer there.

Ali looked at her in disbelief. After yesterday she was already talking about going back to school?

"This is what substitutes are for." Ali disagreed.

"We can't afford to keep skipping out on work," Emily said softly, not wanting to argue. "We have bills, sweetie."

"Yeah, but…"

"Besides, Lily is presenting with her group today and I want to see how she does."

"Her group is Harper and Fiona, so she'll do fine." Ali put her arm on Emily's shoulder. "I'm more concerned about you. We're not hurting financially, Em. You know we have our stocks and the non-profit. We'll be okay for a little while. You need to think about you for once."

"I know. I get it. Yesterday was rough." Emily rubbed Ali's arm soothingly. It had been hard on both of them. "And I know I've got a lot of shit to sort through. I'm not denying that. I acknowledge it. But we can't keep hitting the pause button every time I have a setback. Like you said, we've got Lily to think about. And you're right. I need to start facing this. She needs to know that her mothers are facing life."

"When I said that what I meant was that she knows you're suffering. She can feel your pain. And I knew that unless you faced it, it was going to destroy you and take us with you…because we love you."

"I know." Emily nodded. "But this isn't something that we're going to be able to fix overnight. It's something that we're going to have to work on for the rest of our lives." Because loss and grief never went away. Pain lessened over time. People just learned how to deal with it and tolerate it in small doses. "But I promise you I am going to work on it, Ali. I promise. You and Lily are my life." She put her palm against Ali's cheek.

Ali nodded. For some reason, she believed her. She knew she was probably a sucker for believing her, but she did anyway. Still, she wasn't done with her quest for answers. She put her hand against Emily's side, making sure her fingers were low enough where they weren't touching her bruises.

"Who hurt you?" Ali asked. "Who were you fighting with? Was it just…did you just let them?"

"It doesn't matter now. It's over." Or it would be soon. "Listen, from now on I'm not going to hide from this…from…from myself." She knew she was her own worst enemy. "But what I feel cuts really deep and if I'm going to get through it I'm going to need you."

"Like I told you yesterday, I'm with you." She nodded, her fingers sweeping her cheek. "You have me."

"I know. I heard you, Alison." Though they hadn't spoken much yesterday. They hadn't needed to. Actions oftentimes spoke louder than words, especially with them. "I heard everything you were saying." She'd heard every look, every touch, every thought, every concern.

"Good." Ali replied. "No more lies." She tried to say it with a straight face, because she wasn't going to be giving up on digging up Emily's secrets that easily.

"No more lies." Emily agreed. Except for the little minor omission of Del Toro.

As scared as she was for herself, she was even more terrified of something happening to Ali. If he found out, he wouldn't hesitate to kill her. And she wouldn't survive without Ali. She was already hanging on by a thread as it was.

Ali nodded in approval and pecked Emily's lips. Emily smiled at her and Ali couldn't help but smile back.

"I'll make us some breakfast," Emily said, moving towards the door.

"Uh, no you won't." Ali grabbed her wrist. "You'll get your ass back in bed and rest until we leave. I'll bring you something to eat."

Emily didn't argue. She grabbed her phone and did as she was told. Ali disappeared into the kitchen, her eyes on the clock. She had an idea of where to start in uncovering whatever hidden truth Emily was keeping from her. But she couldn't do it this early. And she couldn't do it with Emily around. She was just going to have to wait and slip out of school without Emily knowing. She made Emily toast and eggs and a fruit parfait and took it to her on a tray. They had a quiet breakfast in bed and then they got ready for school and rode in together.

Ali stayed by Emily's side up until the first bell signaled the start of classes. She made sure she was okay before she got up to leave.

"Hey, promise me you'll take it easy." Ali squeezed her hand.

"It's a paperwork kind of day today." Emily agreed.

She'd already talked to the assistant coach about covering all her classes so she didn't have to do anything physical. Ali walked out. Emily shuffled through some paperwork for a few minutes, but she was too distracted to focus. She unlocked her drawer and pulled out the photo Maurice had given her. The corners were frayed and cracked and there was a smudge of blood on the edge of it. She teared up thinking about Maurice.

She stared at her happy family, wishing more than anything that her dad was here to tell her what to do. She turned it over and looked at his handwriting. It was faded, but there. It made her feel like she had a piece of him with her. She looked at the photo again. Her eyes drifted to the dark stain left by Maurice's blood.

"Damn it, Maurice," she muttered under her breath.

He really had risked everything for her. He'd kept his promise to her dad, who in a way, had sent him to her. Without Maurice and his crew she would have been dead already. But he'd died for her. He'd died so she could live.

She heard footsteps approaching and then a knock against the door frame. She looked up and saw Toby. She slipped the picture in her desk and stood up to greet him.

"Hey, dropping the kids off?" Emily asked.

"Yeah." Toby nodded. "You got a minute?"

"Sure."

He walked in, closing the door behind him. Emily didn't like the motion. It made her feel trapped. He took a step, but then he saw the look on her face and his eyes darted back towards the door. He realized that just last week this office had been a crime scene and that it was possible she wasn't entirely comfortable being enclosed in the small space without an exit.

"Oh, shit," he said. "I'm sorry. I didn't even think about asking if you were okay with the door being closed."

"No, it's fine." Emily shook it off. "Sometimes I just still see it like it was when I…I found him."

"I can't believe they didn't offer you another space."

"They're working on it. They're probably going to move me and convert this to a storage space," she said.

"Good," he said. She didn't need the reminder. She had enough on her plate. He glanced down and saw her injured hands. "What happened there?" he motioned to her knuckles.

She'd taken the bandages off this morning. All the oozing had stopped. They just looked purple and pissed now.

"Oh," she said, lifting her hands up and observing the bruises. She wanted to say something about fucking Ali so hard that it left marks on the both of them, but she held her tongue. "Got a little carried away boxing yesterday." She ran her finger over an abrasion. She glanced back up at him. "I saw you called. Sorry I haven't had a chance to call you back. I was…" Catatonic? Indisposed? Screwing her wife? "…it was just a full day. So, what's up?"

He pursed his lips in thought, trying to figure out how to broach the subject. He'd talked to Spencer to find out if she knew anything about what Emily was doing. After all, they'd been quite the little snoops in high school together. Spencer didn't know anything about it, and now she was worried because she didn't know what Emily was up to.

"You want to tell me why you're trying to gain access to Zane Jacobs' records?" Toby asked.

"Huh?" Emily blinked in surprise.

"I recognized your number, Detective Smith. Here's a tip: maybe next time don't use your personal phone number."

Shit. Amateur move, Emily.

She felt a tightening sensation in the pit of her stomach. But then something registered. Zane? Had he said Zane?

"Look, normally I'd be all over your ass for this, but the kid has quite a record. Underage alcohol possession. Vandalism. Disorderly conduct. He's got an assault and a B&E, too. Got caught sneaking into a fast food joint when he was 12. He was high and hungry and stupid. He's gotten away with most of his shit because his mommy and daddy bought him out of trouble, but if he's still hassling Lily I can…"

"No, that's not it…" Emily interrupted him.

Zane Jacobs? That didn't make any sense. She'd seen the kid skating around the day after she'd been attacked at the park by the knife-wielding maniac. And he didn't have an angry looking dog bite on his arm. Not to mention there was no way that kid could best her. The person who had attacked her was two hundred pounds, easy. So how did a blood match come up connecting him to the torn piece of fabric recovered from the attack?

"Then why did you ask for his records?" Toby questioned.

"It was a mistake." Emily blurted out.

How the fuck was she supposed to explain this? Her eyes darted to the paperwork on her desk.

"It's for one of my kids. I must have mixed up the numbers." She walked over to her desk and pretended to fumble through records. "One of my girls on the team came to me in confidence and asked me for help." She hated herself for lying to him. Lying to him was like scowling at a puppy. It just made her feel like crap. "She's got some troubles in her home life and the file was supposed to be for someone in her family. I just wanted to see what she was up against."

Toby's face tightened as he considered her excuse. He didn't say anything for several seconds. But then he sighed.

"What's the kid's name? I'll look into it for you."

"No, you've got more important things to do. I'll handle it. Sorry for the misunderstanding. I don't know why I thought I needed that file in the first place." She dropped a pile of paperwork on her desk.

Toby chewed on his inner lip. He saw the nervousness in her stance.

"Come on, Em. Level with me. What's really going on? You're not yourself. Straight up, you are freaking everyone out. My wife is making herself a basket-case worrying about you. And after she found out about you looking for Zane's records…"

"Spencer knows about this?" Well, shit. She was a meddler. She would dig. Emily's time crunch kept getting thinner and thinner.

"We're married with two kids. I haven't been able to lie to her since the Bieber-bob was the hottest fashion." Toby laughed. He'd had a Bieber haircut in high school and he'd looked like a complete dork. His laugh softened. "We're just concerned that whatever it is that you're doing to deal with your shit is going to get you hurt. I see it. Spence sees it. And you have to remember that Spencer has been dealing with anxiety and depression for years. She sees things a little more clearly than the rest of us. We're afraid you're headed for a crash."

"Been there, done that." Emily leaned against her desk and sighed. She watched his brows lift in curiosity. "It's okay. Ali was with me when it happened. I finally just hit the brick wall. But I'm okay. I'm…dealing. I know I've been kind of a mess lately. And I didn't mean to make you guys worry. Ali and I are talking about it. I'm working on my problems. You don't have to worry anymore."

Toby was quiet as he tried to decide whether or not he believed her. She certainly seemed sincere. She'd even looked him in the eyes. He relaxed his stance.

"We'll always worry. That's what family does," he replied.

The tardy bell rang and Toby glanced at the clock.

"I have to get to work," he said. "Let me know how the girls' presentation goes."

"You bet."

They said their goodbyes and Toby walked out. He pulled his phone out of his pocket after he'd gotten down the hallway.

"Did you buy that?" He'd had Spencer on the line the whole time.

"I'm still trying to decide," she replied. "It's really hard to tell with her these days."

"It's always been hard to tell with her."

"Yeah." Spencer replied with a sigh. "Hey, keep me posted."

"All you do is nag me, woman." He teased.

"Oh, shut up, Bieber-bob. Go protect our town from the Zanes in the world."

Toby hadn't seen Zane anywhere on campus or in the halls. He was glad, too. As a cop his job was to be objective, but when it came to that kid he really wanted nothing more than to go uber-cop on him and rough him up a bit. He hated the little delinquent.

Emily went on a search for that little delinquent herself. She searched the premises everywhere for him, though she wasn't sure what she was going to do when she found him. Tie him up and shine a light in his face and force him to talk?

Her brain stayed on overdrive all morning. She just couldn't figure out what the connection was. It wasn't until she peeked in on Lily, Fiona, and Harper's science presentation that it finally clicked in her brain. Emily thought about DNA as the girls talked and she realized that Maurice had never mentioned what percentage of a match the DNA was.

The match that they found in the system could have been a partial match. Though to her knowledge he didn't have any siblings. Not to mention she'd met his parents. Zane's mom was a prestigious designer who spent most of her time traveling around the world with her staff so she didn't have to lift a finger on her perfectly manicured hands. And his father was an investment banker who worked the stock market. He was a skinny little rail with a big brain and even bigger oversized glasses.

Emily started to think about that. Zane didn't really have attributes of either one of his parents. In fact, he towered over his dad. And his mom was a very small woman. Their hair color wasn't the same. Neither were their eye color or facial features. Things started connecting in her brain and she realized that perhaps Zane Jacobs was not a Jacobs after-all.

If he had some kind of connection to someone in the Pit Vipers that would leave room for him to help whoever was torturing her. She knew she needed to get the list of suspects from Mona, but she didn't know how to do so without endangering her again. But unbeknownst to her, it wasn't Del Toro she needed to worry about popping up in Mona's life. Someone else was lurking outside the Montgomery house where Mike and Mona were staying with his parents.

A knock at the door interrupted Mona from eating a bite of her lunch. She was the only one there, as Mike's parents had taken him shopping for a tux. She stood up, careful to mind the sling on her arm as she walked to the door. She peered through the peephole and was stunned to see who was standing there. She opened the door slowly.

"Alison DiLaurentis…" she said.

"DiLaurentis-Fields." The feisty blonde corrected her.

"What are you doing here?" Mona asked, her tone calm and even.

"I think something is happening to my wife." Ali stared at her, unwavering. "And I think you know what it is."

She was determined to get answers. Whether or not Mona would give them to her was the question. But the problem was, it didn't matter what Ali discovered. Because by the time everything came out it was going to be too late.


A/N: "No more lies." ROFL. Oh, these two ridiculous idiotic children. It's not called "Pretty Little Truthers". At least no one died this chapter. Do I get points for that? And hey, no Emison squabbling happened either. In fact, you got a sex scene that was ALMOST cut, because, well...angry inner critic, blah, blah, blah. It's funny that I can write death scenes all day long, but when I write their intimate scenes I doubt literally everything about everything. This is why I hate writing characters I love. Because I'm so afraid I'll fuck them up. My bestie assured me she liked the scene with her enthusiastic, "They love each other so much!" But then she panicked, furrowed her brows at me and stared like she didn't trust the love and asked, "Wait, what horrible heinous mean thing are you plotting to ruin this?" I have clearly broken her.