Chapter Twenty-Eight "Sacrifice"
It's starting to get dark, but Dean doesn't really notice as he races through the trees. Crowley's text message had been vague, but enough to concern Dean: Found him. Hurry.
Branches whip Dean's face and drip water and blood in his eyes, and he scrapes up his hands catching himself on rocks and trees to keep from falling on his face. He's not even really sure where he's going. He could run for hours and never find Cas in this forest. But soon enough, he comes upon an obvious trail and even notices a scrap of black fabric that must have torn from Crowley's coat. He runs faster.
At some point, a strange humming noise fills Dean's ears. He's not sure when it started or even that he's really hearing it. It also seems to be getting lighter even though the sun is already going down. Whatever's going on isn't good.
The first thing Dean notices when he comes into an open space that can hardly be called a clearing is Crowley lying on the ground surrounded by dead angels and blood. But it's not his blood. Because a few feet away is Cas, leaning against a tree with his legs tucked under him. There's blood all over his hands, but Dean can't quite see where it's coming from.
Dean starts to run to his friend when Cas holds up his hands. "Don't touch me," he says breathlessly.
Then Dean sees the hole in Cas' red sweatshirt, and that it's not quite the right shade of red where he's been bleeding for who knows how long.
"Cas, you're hurt," Dean says, unable to think about anything else.
"I know... If you touch me, it could kill you."
That's when Dean realizes that the noise and the light are coming from Cas himself. He's radiating. There's a wooden bowl on the ground next to him full of ashes. He's doing some kind of spell.
Cas lowers his hands and looks down at something at the base of the tree. "It's...too late to stop now," he says as he starts moving his hand across a flat stone.
Dean moves closer to see that he's writing something with his own blood. It looks Enochian. "This is the spell to send the angels home?" Dean asks.
Cas nods as he continues writing.
"Why didn't you let us help you?"
Cas doesn't answer, but he lowers his head so Dean can't see his face. His hand shakes, but he keeps going.
"Cas, what's going on here? What happened to Crowley?"
"He was... going to stop me," Cas replies.
"You knocked him out?" Dean can't help feeling a little proud amid all the freaking out he's doing right now. "Why...?" He's not really sure what he's asking. Something doesn't add up.
"I... have to do this." Cas' voice is getting fainter by the second. He's going to die if Dean doesn't help him.
"Yeah, I get that, but you're in bad shape. You need a doctor."
Cas shakes his head before leaning it against the tree. His hand rests in the middle of the rock. He's not finished yet. "I won't make it out of this."
"What?" Dean takes a step closer.
Cas looks up and takes a ragged breath. "Dean, please." He almost sounds like his old self and his eyes blaze before he diminishes again. He looks suddenly like the faded vision Dean had of him when he was in the hospital.
"You knew?" Dean can hardly believe the words as he says them. "You knew this would kill you, and you went anyway?"
"I have to save my family."
"What the hell are you talking about? I'm your family!"
Cas gets that look. That pity he's always had for Dean. Maybe that's all it's ever been. "I'm sorry," he says. "I have to."
"No you don't. You promised..." Except he never really had. Cas never said he would stay.
Dean hears a shuffling noise behind him and turns to see that Crowley is coming to. When he turns back, he notices that Cas has started writing again.
"Cas, stop," he pleads. "We can figure something else out. You don't have to die. I'm not letting you die."
Cas looks up again. "Dean, that's what sacrifice is... I know you don't understand... They're not your family."
"They're not your family either! They tried to kill you. They don't care about you!" Dean knows he shouldn't say such horrible things, but he can't think of any other reason to make Cas stop.
"Gadreel does," Cas says, but Dean can see that his confidence is shaken.
"Gadreel told me where to find you. He told me to save you. Maybe he does care what happens to you, but he doesn't want you to die either."
"No... that's not right... He helped me."
"Because he knew he couldn't change your mind. But I can."
"You have... such confidence."
"Yeah, and you wanna know why? Because you're human, Cas. You're one of us. And you are the only thing on this Godforsaken planet that matters to me. The only thing. You're the reason I'm still fighting, so don't you dare go dying on me now."
"I'm sorry..." Cas digs his fingers into the bark of the tree and pulls himself up.
Dean moves to help him, but Cas holds out his other hand, still sticky with blood, and now Dean can see that it's covering the front of his jeans as well.
"It's too late," Cas says. "I can't stop what's coming."
Dean watches Cas spread his arms and begin to speak strange words as the humming and the glow intensify.
"Cas, no!"
Dean is about to rush forward when an invisible blast knocks him back. He manages to stay on his feet, but he can't get to Cas, and there's something coming through the trees behind him. It starts out faint, but then turns to a crowd of people moving swiftly in their direction. No, moving toward Cas. As soon as they reach him, they disappear. These are the angels, and Cas is sending them home.
Unable to do anything to stop it, Dean watches in horror. Every angel that passes through causes the light to burn brighter. Cas himself becomes translucent, as if a bit of him fades away every second. Dean doesn't really notice when Crowley comes to stand beside him. He could have been there the whole time for all Dean knows.
Time seems to stand still while the angels continue to flow through Cas. Eventually, the crowd thins out and it begins to look like ghosts straggling along slowly. Then it ends, and only one remains, and Dean can see him clearly. It's Gadreel. Unlike the others, he stops and stands behind Cas. He clenches his fists, and his wings flash against the dark background of woods. With a powerful beat, he causes a gust of wind to slam into Cas, knocking him forward.
Without thinking, Dean jumps in to catch Cas before he falls to the ground. The light is gone, and the humming ceases. The only warmth is Cas' feverish skin. He suddenly seems much smaller than before.
Gadreel stands where Cas was, breathing heavily which is odd for an angel.
Dean turns Cas over to see if he's still breathing. His eyes are closed and there's no movement to indicate that he's alive. Dean checks his pulse, nervously muttering: "Please, please, please..."
He waits. But he can't feel anything. He moves his fingers, thinking maybe he got the wrong spot, but there's still nothing. He presses his ear to Cas' chest, and still cannot hear a thing.
"His... his heart's not beating," Dean chokes out.
A whizzing noise goes over Dean's head, and he looks up to see an angel blade buried to the hilt in the trunk of a redwood. He turns to see Crowley standing there, red-faced and shaking with anger, and Dean isn't interested in finding out why.
Gadreel comes over to Cas and sinks down to his knees across from Dean. He can't see Dean because of the perception filter, but he must know he's there. "I am weak," he says. "Yet I may be able to keep him alive long enough for you to get him help."
Gadreel puts his hand on Cas' forehead and closes his eyes. It takes longer that Dean thinks it should, but just as he starts to feel a pulse again, Gadreel collapses.
"Go..." he says. "I will... catch up."
Dean doesn't have to be told twice. He lifts Cas off the ground, and he seems lighter than he should be. Crowley is already leading the way back to the car, through the dark forest. With the spell over and the light gone, they can barely see two feet ahead. It seems to take much longer to get back to the car than it did to reach Cas.
When they do arrive, Kevin is sitting with his legs dangling out of the backseat. He's got papers strewn all over the place and there are ink smudges on his face.
"Guys! I think I figured it out!" he calls as they come out of the trees.
"Talk on the way," Crowley says shortly, going over to the driver's side.
Kevin then sees the state Cas is in and moves out of the way for Dean to get him in the car. It takes all of thirty seconds to get on the road, but Dean is sure that they've wasted too much time. Kevin has this freaked out look when he sees the amount blood, which is getting all over his notes. Dean's not really concerned with that. He manages to pull off Cas' sweatshirt to use to stop the blood.
"How did this happen?" he asks in a tight voice he hardly recognizes.
"Angels," Crowley says, never taking his eyes off the road. "He was trying to save them, and they tried to kill him."
"That's what I was going to say," Kevin interjects. "He found a spell to send the angels back to Heaven."
"Tell us something we don't know," Dean mutters.
"Metatron had to build a back door, but he made it so confusing that Cas was the only one who could understand it at first. The spell to lock everyone out could only be undone by the one who did it in the first place. And it would have killed him."
"Yeah, we got that." Dean tested Cas' pulse again, just to be sure he was still with them. "Anything in there about what happens if the spell gets half done?"
"That's shouldn't be possible. It sounds like if anyone touched Cas while he was doing the spell, it would kill them too. And once he starts it, he's stuck."
"You might have to double check that."
"Why?"
"Because he did the spell. The angels went home. Except one."
Kevin looks horrified. "Dean, he shouldn't even be alive right now. Unless it's somehow incomplete. Who stayed behind?"
"Gadreel. He stopped Cas somehow, but he was in bad shape afterward."
"I don't know how he could do that, but maybe he knows something we don't."
"Maybe not," Dean says, taking a long look at Cas' still, pale face. "Maybe Cas was dead until Gadreel restarted his heart."
Kevin doesn't say anything to that. He just looks terrified and confused. Dean doesn't blame him one bit.
"Crowley?" he says.
"What?" Crowley replies from the front seat.
"Drive faster."
The fact that I'm nearing the end of this story is so odd to me. It feels like it's always been there, and it will be sad to say goodbye. There will probably be around five more chapters at this rate. Thanks to all of you who have stuck with it from the beginning. I really appreciate all the reviews and favorites. I promise the ending will be well worth all the pain.
