Part two of three! Enjoy!
Wetness trickled down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away on Salazar's shirt before nuzzling my face into his collarbone, relaxing against him with a blissful sigh.
But now I knew.
This was worth everything.
Pain wrenched in my chest as the thought that this would probably never happen again rose unbidden and screamed in my head, making me curl tighter against Salazar's chest with a small whimper.
"Please don't leave me," I whispered, more tears slipping out from under my lashes as I desperately shoved the thought back under the rock it'd crawled out from, wanting just to enjoy this moment of contentment to the fullest extent.
Salazar shifted, as if in response, and for one heart-stopping instant I thought he'd regained consciousness and had heard me. But he only tucked me closer until every part of my front was plastered to him, all the way down to my ankles.
"Nunca te voy a dejarte ir," he murmured softly into my ear, hot chills flooding down my back as he pressed his lips into my hair with a quieting kiss.
I still didn't know who he thought I was, and at this point, I didn't care. Whoever she was, he seemed to care about her enough to comfort her, and I was shamefully going to steal it for myself as much as I could. I'd deal with the fallout later.
Whining quietly, I pressed myself closer and thankfully, he shifted his grip so he held me tighter. I could barely breathe, but I didn't care. I was going to take as many memories as I could to keep me company for the rest of my cold, lonely life.
Utterly at bliss for the moment, despite the sense of impending doom, I fell asleep in a place I'd never thought I'd ever be able to experience; held protectively in a man's arms.
xxxxxx
With a sharp inhale, I jerked awake from where I had rolled to sleep against Salazar's chest, the man himself sprawled on his back with one arm still wrapped almost possessively around my waist. I blinked a few times before quickly reaching up and laying a palm against his forehead, almost keeling over with relief at the feel of cool, clammy skin. His fever had broken!
Barely stirring when I extricated myself from underneath his arm, he didn't even twitch as I slid off the bed and did a gleeful little dance, the relief that filled my chest so buoyant that I felt like I could levitate.
There was fresh water in the pitcher, so I wrung out a towel and wiped him down as best I could. He would probably want to take a bath as soon as he got up, but hopefully I was able to clean off the worst of the gross feel of having been bedridden for two days.
Staring down, he was so quiet and unmoving after so much constant fidgeting that I had to remind myself that he was just sleeping, not dead. And it was more than a little scary to see such a vibrant, powerful individual appear so vulnerable. There was also a deep twinge of dismay that with this came the end of my limited taste of cuddling, but I studiously ignored it, along with the heavy dose of guilt for feeling it in the first place.
The worry and fatigue over the past few days, along with the euphoria that he would wake, violently coalesced into a mad impulse to hold him, to reassure myself that he was fine, even though logically I knew he was going to be perfectly healthy in a day or so.
I bit my lip, debating what would happen if I gave into my sudden urge. I glanced at his face, the deep lines of exhaustion, the still faintly raspy sound of his breathing, and shook my head to throw off the wariness. What was the worst that could happen?
Oh, come on! You spent the past two days sleeping in his arms, don't go getting greedy now! This is exactly what we were trying to prevent!
"Shut up, self. If I wanted your advice, I'd ask for it," I muttered, then decided I wasn't going to get another chance, so I should take advantage of it now.
Carefully, I crept forward, taking care not to wake him, but I doubted he was going to be opening his eyes any time soon. Still, it didn't hurt to be a little cautious.
That annoying voice at the back of my head clamored that this might not be the best of ideas, but I squished it, needing this both for him and for me. After everything I'd been through since my trip down the rabbit hole, I needed to give into this particular longing. I simply didn't possess the willpower to resist it.
Leaning down, I folded myself next to his side and gently slipped my hands along Salazar's ribs, softly resting my cheek against his chest to listen to his heart beat as I carefully hugged the frighteningly still form. The warmth he generated wasn't the feverish heat, but his own normal temperature and I went limp with relief, the last remnants of my worry washed away like blood beneath rain.
I closed my eyes and held him for a brief while, letting myself relax while being soothed by listening to his heartbeat, inhaling his scent, even though it was almost masked by stale sweat and old sickness.
But the acute sense of loss from not being hugged back almost felt like a physical pain. Being trapped in his arms while having to be cuddled was still too strange for me to be completely comfortable with, and it somehow just wasn't the same as being hugged back by someone willingly.
I'd always enjoyed hugs from people I was very close with, but with the recent bout of events, I surprisingly found myself in need of human comfort and I was shamelessly stealing it from Salazar. I just need a little bit. He won't even notice it's missing.
For someone who was normally very independent, it startled me just how much I needed this, this small gesture that soothed so much, even with the ache of lacking reciprocation. It would've felt a hundred times better if I could have been held in return, but I sincerely doubted that el Matador del Mar was inclined to give hugs when asked.
I felt him twitch underneath me and hurriedly drew back, knowing time was up.
"Thank you. You don't know how much I needed that," I whispered quietly, feeling weird that I had hugged an unconscious man and was feeling better from it. I looked around and quickly started cleaning up the evidence that I had been living in his quarters as best as I could, feeling exhaustion beginning to flood my system. Now that everything was calming down, my own weariness was returning full force, reminding me that two days was not enough to recover from almost succumbing to fever.
Soon as I was done, almost forgetting my logbook and anklet, I staggered out of his rooms and out of his cabin, almost running facefirst into worn-looking Lesaro outside the door.
"He's fine, Guillermo, his fever broke. I was just coming to find you," I hastily told him before he could barge through me to check on Salazar.
Lesaro's face visibly melted with relief and he heaved a sigh. "Madre de Díos, some good news. And we are completely free of the storm as well."
I struggled to hold back a yawn as I propped myself up on the wall, leaning my head tiredly against the sturdy planks. "If he asks, don't tell him it was me taking care of him, please."
Lesaro looked at me with bewilderment. "Why would I do that?"
I gave him a worn-out grin. "Do you really think he'd appreciate knowing a girl had fussed over him like I was his mother for two days straight? Slept in his bed with him? Practically saw him naked? I'd rather not have to deal with that, thanks."
Mouth flattening in disapproval, he reluctantly nodded in agreement. "I don't like it, but I believe you're right. At least for now…and if he asks questions?"
I couldn't hold it back anymore and gave a huge yawn that made my jaw pop. I was exhausted…trying to rest next to a six foot mass of feverish, overly affectionate male was recipe for a pisspoor night of sleep. "I doubt he will. He's been really out of it with fever. Not a moment of lucidity at all. Just let me know if he gets worse or relapses. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed, an empty bed I can hog all to myself." Yet despite my words, the craving to just crawl back into bed and cuddle with one particular Spaniard only grew worse. I was beginning to wonder if it'd been better not to know what it was like to experience that.
"Good night, Isabeau. I will look after him until he wakes." Lesaro smiled widely in relief, the familiar gesture completely changing his usual taciturn look into an open, intensely handsome face. I figured he probably had his share of female admirers as well, and would probably have been the much safer option if I'd had any say in my object of fascination. Unfortunately, Salazar was the one I found myself inexplicably drawn to, much to my dismay. Of course it just had to be the captain. Actually, it didn't even surprise me at this point. After all, Lesaro had said that Salazar wasn't lacking in feminine attention. What was one more to add to his list of conquered hearts?
I nodded at the tired lieutenant with another wide yawn, then staggered down the corridor until I saw the familiar door of my cabin. I let myself in and flopped on the covers, not even bother to undress and bathe or anything. Gross, I knew, but I was way too tired to give a shit.
It seemed unsettlingly empty in my bed, and I felt like I was about to start shivering even though it really wasn't that chilly, so I comforted myself by slipping into warm memories until I finally drifted off.
xxxxx
I woke up on my own, and the faint light cracking through the boarded window indicated it was somewhere around late afternoon, almost twilight. I felt like trash, but catching up on sleep felt nice, even though my bed seemed ridiculously empty without-
Don't even! I mentally kicked myself straight that I did not need to be dwelling on sleeping with a toasty bed warmer, even though it'd been downright wonderful, and the cuddling and those kisses he'd pressed into my skin still tingled…and what he had hiding under that pristine, daunting uniform…
Need to face facts, cuddling with the captain is no longer an option, and the sooner we come to grips with that, the better.
And yet, I couldn't help but recall those words I'd whispered, pleading for him not to leave me. I never should have said that. It was a slip that won't be repeated.
Because I knew the truth; everyone left in the end.
Giving myself a vicious shake to dispel the morose mood, I stretched my neck, sighing in relief as some tension was abated with lovely cracks, then set about waking up, at least for a little while. There was a clean bath, which I assumed from last night since it was cold, so I took a quick, very quick bath and felt a great deal more refreshed. Aside from shaky weakness still haunting my limbs and the ache in my ribs if I breathed too deeply, I was almost completely back to normal, but the constant up and down of both my emotions and my health was getting annoying.
I honestly felt like doing nothing but sleeping today, and I didn't think anyone would care if I was missing for a few hours. After all, I wasn't one of the crew, just a volunteer. I really didn't even care if there were would be trouble for it later, all I wanted to do was sleep some more.
My pajamas were still miraculously warm, and I'd just snuggled back under the covers when a loud knock banged against the door.
Noooo…..I just got comfortable! I scowled in aggravation at the door, wondering if I ignored it, they'd go away.
The knock came again, not even remotely sounding tentative. Whoever it was, they knew I was in here.
Rattling a deep sigh, I threw back the covers and scuffled over to the door, once again glad I'd taken the caution to throw the bolt before using the bath. Unlocking it, I peeked out through a crack in the door and saw a fully alert Salazar towering on the other side, accompanied with an ominous air.
I gulped, having a hard time relating this intimidating, polished naval officer with the very sick man I'd been taking care of and had slept next to for the past couple nights. Not to mention things were now tinglingly aware of what was lurking beneath that immaculate exterior, and just what that sheer focus was capable of if it was turned to…other pursuits…
Harshly kicking that thought back under the rug, I stood back and let him in, carefully moving out of his way as he stepped purposefully through the door, yet made no other move.
One had to admire that as ill as he'd been, I'd never know it from the image he presented, the well-kempt uniform, perfectly groomed hair and sideburns, and overall extremely put together. Okay, and it was a little disgusting. Like, I looked like I got run over by a lawnmower even when I wasn't sick. It was just so not fair.
"How can I help you?" I warily asked, positive that whatever triggered this unexpected visit couldn't be anything good. Suddenly, I wished that I'd taken a quick second to at least change out of my pajamas. Glow-in-the-dark shirt and boy shorts left a lot to be desired when he was in full uniform. And of course my brain helpfully supplied the fantasy of being held tightly in his arms so that I couldn't escape as his head slowly lowered-
I jerked out of the fantasy before he could notice my distraction.
Without a hint of expression, Salazar held up his hand, and at first I thought it was empty, then I realized he was holding a hair. It was short, blonde…and one of mine.
"Unless there's someone else aboard my ship with similar hair, I believe this is yours." He let his hand drop and I looked up to see a black scowl settling over his severe features. Uh-oh… "Would you care to explain as to why I found it in my bed?"
It took an effort, but I kept a perfectly straight face as I lied like a rug. "I have absolutely no idea."
It was probably a good idea to learn how to avoid Spanish captains at all costs, especially if I was going to find myself lying to them and failing miserably.
His mouth twisted into a grim smile, the expression somehow menacing as he slowly stalked into my cabin, closing the door quietly behind him with a slight click. And then bolted it.
I knew then that I was royally in trouble.
"I do believe that that is the first time you've outright lied to me, Señorita Revanne," he said in a dangerously silky tone. "And I don't think I much care for it."
I nervously jigged backwards out of range of his reach, knowing it wouldn't do any good since he was between me and the locked door, and I knew he could move a lot faster than he let on.
"I-I really have no idea how it ended up in your bed," I managed with only a small stutter. If I thought he was angry now, how would he be if someone he couldn't stand had taken care of him when he was at his weakest? Had been subjected to whatever fantasies he had of that mystery woman he cared for? That I had taken his affection for her as my own?
Yet instead of exploding into a rage, his eyes flickered with a predatory gleam and he sauntered closer, seeming extremely large and very intimidating. Natural characteristics for him, but he was purposefully using them to his advantage to dominate, to overpower, all while keeping a tight rein on his anger. I was starting to realize I had greatly underestimated Capitán Armando Salazar's control when he was fixated on a target, even while angry.
"Very well. If that is how you wish to continue this."
He stalked towards me, moving with a dangerous intent that took all of my self-control not to tremble with nervous anticipation in response. Unfortunately, I was too distracted by concentrating on that to realize the danger until his hand flashed out and wrapped around my wrist, hauling me forward until I collided with his powerful frame.
All but plastered to his lean chest, I stared up at him in mute astonishment, pretty sure I looked all the world like an idiot, but my brain had shorted out on how to deal with this furious Spaniard. The only other time I'd seen him like this was when I'd told him I was from the future. Why is he so angry? What the hell did I do?!
Leaning down, his voice dropped to a dark undertone that sent chills racing over my skin, his eyes holding me unyieldingly in place. "You will tell me the truth, or you won't like the consequences. Now, what were you doing in my quarters?"
My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth and I shook my head dumbly, unable to summon any sort of intelligent reply. It was like being so close to him had sucked all sentient thought from my brain.
His features grew even darker and his mouth drew into a thin line. "As you wish."
I was yanked along behind him as he strode purposefully towards the door and I immediately panicked, nightmare situations flashing through my mind. I scrabbled at his grasp, trying to twist free, but my irritatingly tiny wrist was completely manacled in his grip, and the sheer size of his hand made that I couldn't break loose.
Now completely freaking out, I quickly blurted, "I took care of you while you were sick! Please don't-!"
I snapped my mouth shut and shivered when he abruptly halted, warning chills racing over the back of my neck at his quick, angry movement.
Spanish Translations (courtesy of nettacartwright)
Nunca te voy a dejarte ir - I'm never going to let you go.
Oh, boy...he ain't happy...
Poor Isabeau! She was just trying to help!
