Sorry it took so long, school's a bitch. Danke for the reviews, please review some more, and here we goooo

Faith's POV

"It's time."

I tell myself, repeating Kennedy's words.

We spent the whole day rechecking our building, our weapons, our plan, our everything. And now it's time. Time for me to run out there alone, face an unknown amount of vampires, diminish their ranks, break their resolve. Not quite alone; I'll have a good bunch of arrows helping me out, but you get what I mean. Sometimes you just need somebody there with you when you face an evil that big. But right now, only I was capable of doing it.

Not Buffy, not Angel, not Willow. Not anybody else but me. I was the only one.

I kind of revel in that feeling of being the lone hero for once, but at the same time, I wonder if I'll fuck it all up again.

I shake my head of the thought. I won't let it happen.

We had a meeting this morning, I instructed groups of people to a certain job, and after it was over, we all carried it out with a sense of grim foreboding. Xander went around checking that reinforcements were stable. Anya managed the supplies and ammo. Willow, Fred, and Kennedy were preparing for the big old spell. It was gonna be difficult, Kennedy had told me. It was harder than the one used against the First, because that was a trigger Spell. They all had the power and it was just being released. Now, she had to pull it all back in to a bus full amount of girls. Rona and Vi were handing out weapons. Andrew was taking the archers up to the proper places in the top story, and making sure any hatches that would allow anybody outside in were being sealed shut. Buffy and the Angel Investigations team were working out the details of how to fight the weakened army. Giles and I discussed all weaknesses, all advantages that I should take, and what my signal will be. We even set up night-vision cameras so that they could monitor my progress and determine when to jump in.

"Cool. I've always wanted to be a TV star." I muttered.

Now it was all set. Now it was all ready. Now it was time to go.

Ready?

No.

Set?

No.

Go!

No.

But I moved anyways. Out the room, across the hall, down the stairs, towards the main doors.

They were out there, they were waiting. For me.

Everybody stood behind me as I rested a hand against the door. I turned to smile. To grin my trademark grin, to let them know that I could do this.

"Well it's all or nothing, guys. Let's make sure it's all."

"Faith." Giles starts. I look at him.

"Are you sure about this?"

Of course I'm not.

"Of course I'm sure, Giles! You know we can't back out on the plan now. We don't even have a Plan B."

He nods weakly, concern evident in his eyes. I appreciate it, but I wasn't just spitting words. We really needed to follow through with this.

"Maybe I should go with you. Or at least somebody else should-"

I interrupt her before she can say anything else.

"Listen. This isn't about being together. Not right now. This is about keeping you safe. All of you. So until I manage to beat their asses into sorry shapes, none of you are allowed to rush out there with me. Angel and co. will stop you if you try." I look all of them in the eye, but I let them linger on Buffy.

"Got it, B?"

She bites her lip, but nods. My grin had faded into a grim set of lips, but I let a small smile on now.

On before I turn, push the doors open and step outside, letting the doors click and lock behind me.

I could see them all, hiding in dark, in the shadows. But there are no trees or foliage to cover their asses here. They know they'll have to come out sooner or later.


As I wait, I reflect. On the last few months. Christ, it's only been about two full ones, and the world's been flipped upside down, inside out and back up and in again. I don't think I've ever been so fucking bombarded in my life. Mom, dad, school, Sunnydale, the Mayor, Angel, even jail; all of it happened over time. I could see it coming. Most of them, at least. Now here I am, out of jail, Buffy (figuratively) by my side, friends with the Scoobs, and finally being able to be a hero. A hero worthy of being talked of. Not some stupid piece of scum on the side of the road, or in a correctional facility. I'm in the open, playing the game of life on the good side. And for once, I'm really the leader. Sure, with the First I was voted leader, but nobody doubted that Buffy was the true Captain of the Slayer team. Now, I'm the only Slayer.

It's like I've been Chosen. Not a back-up, not a second-rate, piss poor excuse. No. I've been picked for this. I'm the one they want. I can feel it. But God be damned if they get me, or Buffy, or Angel, or any of these people. I won't let them. We won't let them.

Maybe this is my salvation. This is a sign. It must be. It's gotta be. I did my time, I fought the good fight, I found love, I found acceptance, now I'm the one playing lone ranger. But not because I think I'm better than anyone. I'm doing it because I want to protect. I want to help. I want to be good.

That makes all the difference in the world, doesn't it? I think so.

In all of this I've learned to be someone I could be proud of. Sometimes I think maybe I was this person all my life, I just kept covering it up piece by piece, with every single person I've met. I heard once that a child is like a blank piece of paper, and every person to come by leaves a mark. I think of all the people who'd left their marks, and all I remember are the bad ones. The good ones must've used pencil, cause anything good in my life had been covered up and erased by all the black, ugly marks made by the people I don't care to remember. I'm not trying to get anyone down and depressed, least of all myself, but that's how it was. Not anymore. I'm cleaning my slate, and everything's starting to brighten up. The "enemies" turned out to be my friends, and my "friends" turned out to be the enemies. Parts of me hurt because of that. Every single turn I'm being lied to, but I guess that's the price you have to pay when you make the wrong choices.

And I'm hoping I made the right one this time.

Even still, I think about the Mayor. I wonder sometimes if he was lying to me the whole time, but somehow I don't think so. I see lies. I know them. I've grown up around them, beside them, inside them, outside them, with them. My life is a fucking lie. But with him I saw something else. He still had something human in him, and he was the only one then to see something human in me. I think I loved him for it. But he made the wrong choices, just like I made the wrong choices, even if he was more sure of it than I was. Sometimes I think he chose me to be selfish. Even if I went over there. I could've killed him. I could've played double agent for the Scoobs instead of him, but I didn't. I guess every bad guy has a problem with making right decisions.

As I stand here, I feel like he wouldn't be disappointed in me. Maybe in the people I befriend, but he'd still be proud of me. He hates them. But he loves me, and I suppose that's all that matters right now. I might be on the side that he never was on, but somehow I really don't think he'd be upset. I just hope he sees that I'm finally doing something good. For a change. RIP, Boss. Mayor Wilkins. Dad. Whatever. He's all I had, but now I have these people. I'll never forget him, I don't regret knowing the guy at all. He was the beginning of the spark that kept burning. I just kept trying to bury it under all my regrets, all my anger, all my guilt and shame; everything I could muster up. But there's someone who finally saw me. Who finally let us be free.

Buffy.

God what I wouldn't do for the girl. We went through shit. Lots of shit, that nobody else could really get. But somehow we ended up together. I half expected the earth to open up and suck us both in for the blasphemy. The world is just full of twists and turns. I never saw it coming, and neither did she. For all the years that I've known her, I waited for her to make the move. I couldn't do it, even if I was the extraverted sleaze back in the old years. Cause she caught me off guard. Here was Blondie, tiny, cute, fucking adorable and still able to kick my ass. Not that I've ever admitted it, but I never had much of a doubt. I mean, sure, I always did the stupid thing and jumped into battle with her just to seem confident. But I knew. I'm starting to think I used to do it just to get my ass kicked and thrown around. I guess I thought that's the only way I could serve my punishment. Nobody else could stop me without weapons. Only Buffy. Only she could stop me. She tried to, but damn if I don't have a stubborn head. So she let me go. And I kept walking until I was at the devil's door and signing contract with my blood.

Now I'm here, and I've completely cleansed my blood, so that contract doesn't mean shit to me now. And after this, things will be calmer, better off. This battle brought us together, gave us companionship, gave us love, gave us a bonding together that couldn't have been done if we weren't all locked in the same fucking building for weeks. We know each other now. Emotionally and physically, we know each other. And as a note, she makes this really cute whimpering noise when I kiss this one spot below her ear on the neck. Know what I'm talking about? If you don't, try it. It's like a fucking magical spot. It's the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. And with Buffy's clothes, I'd say a rainbow is basically what she is. I've dug through that closet. I don't recall ever seeing that many different shades of pastel in my life. I told her she should try out for a fucking circus after her Slayer gig is officially over.

Sometimes I wonder if it'll ever be over. I guess it's gonna be hard. For me, it's what I'm meant to do. Built to do. That's all I'm fucking good for, it feels like. I mean, Buffy and Giles and Angel, etc, tell me I can do whatever I want. That I'm talented and full of good qualities that can be harnessed to do other things besides Slay.

"Are you shitting me?" I'd exclaimed. Loudly.

It's what I do. It's what I'm good at. It's what I love. I don't see a reason as to why I should be something else when I found my calling. I guess they're just so used to Buffy and her constant need to be 'normal'. Whatever that is.

I don't know what we're gonna do. But wherever she goes, I go. After all this bullshit is over...

Oh. I guess I better wrap this up. I can daydream all I want, but for right now, the vamps are starting to show their ugly mugs, and I've got ass to kick.