She let out a breath and a weight settled heavily in my stomach. "I don't- There's no reason why not. Your surgeries were overall successful despite some obstacles and everything is moving along, but considering you've never been through trauma like this, and the injuries sustained to your knee were beyond extensive, it's really a guessing game. Just know that it will take perseverance, and time."

"How-how long?" I asked.

"As of right now, you're a phase one in post-op for multiple ligament tears and shattered kneecap. If everything goes to plan and there are no further complications, at least 8 weeks until you'll be able to try to put some weight on your knee. Then if everything else goes well and your knee heals normally, along with physical therapy and strengthening, then you'll be able to move onto phase two. After the 8 weeks, we'll unlock your brace and start to allow for extensions of your leg as well as trying to normalize your gait. If you can have full range of motion, normal gait on any surface, and able to have a significant amount of control of your leg, you'll move to phase three. It mostly consists of physical therapy and exercises to get your strength and endurance back up to standards, only if your powers don't come back and help you along with the healing process. No matter if they do or not, you'll have to wear a brace in order to ensure correct alignment of your knee, until week 24 to 28." She listed.

Reality settled in and it felt as if a mountain loomed before me. How was I supposed to do all of that? I glared down at my leg. She reached out and touched my shoulder. I jumped at the sudden contact. "Don't worry, Kara. We'll all be here to support you. You are not alone. We want you to get better as soon as you can, but we don't want you to push yourself. This will take time, but we'll be by your side every step of the way. We love you Kara, and if you need anything, just ask." Hamilton stated. I smiled at her. "Thank you, Amelia. It really means a lot to me."

There was a beat of silence between us. "There is something I need though." I said. "What?" She asked. "Lena. I need to know. How is she?" I asked. Hamilton's jaw flexed. "She's- trying to cope, and recover. Slowly. The past few months have really taken a toll on her. Especially now since she's aware of the damage she inadvertently caused to all of us."

"Where is she? Can I see her?" I asked. Hamilton shook her head. "No, not yet. She's still on lockdown and debrief."

"Lockdown on who's orders?" I asked. "The President's. She wants to make sure that Lex didn't have any other plans set up to cause chaos." Hamilton informed me. "I thought that she wasn't going to be held for her actions?" I asked. "She's not, but the President wants to make sure that no one else will be put in danger if she starts walking around. People are going to be afraid. And angry. Very angry, almost to the point of not accepting the truth. The president just wants to stop any fear from spreading. Especially since they saw you being attacked by her and she was treated in the same hospital as you." I shook my head.

"No, this isn't right. This isn't her fault. They shouldn't be treating her like this." I tried to protest. "Kara, you don't understand, they're afraid of-" I cut her off. "Then why wasn't I locked up the first time I was exposed to the Red Kryptonite? People were afraid, angry. I still got to roam free, despite my actions under it." I pointed out. "No, Kara that was different. The public knew your-Supergirl's- ambitions weren't intentionally malicious. They knew that something was up. That you were, for lack of a better word, poisoned. They were just shocked." She tried to reason. "So what? Are you saying that people don't trust her because that they don't know all her ambitions? Or is it because her last name is Luthor? That's bullshit. It's the same circumstance. We were both fucking poisoned and acted on it."

Hamilton stood up and sighed. "That's not what I meant Kara, and you know it. I'm going to try and reason with the security because I believe you, and I believe in Lena. But in the meantime, I need you to calm down. I don't need your vitals spiking like that again. We need you healing, not working yourself up into a coma." She stated and started to walk out. I exhaled loudly.

"Thank you, and- I'm sorry." She nodded at me before she left.

I laid back down and savored the silence. I watched the clock in the corner of my room tick by. The minute hand seemed to have slowed down before I fell asleep.

Red. Red sky, red earth. Everything was bathed in red. Its power was nothing like I've felt before. A deep voice echoed from the bleeding light. I couldn't understand it, but I knew it was talking to me, trying to pull me in. Heat was radiating off the source as the red light shone brightly.

My eyes snapped open and I blinked rapidly to erase the dream. I noticed that the tv was on in the corner, and that Winn was asleep with a thin blanket around his shoulders. There was no sound coming from the tv, but the subtitles were on as the news reported the latest from this long running fiasco. Lex Luthor detained and committed with 8 more life sentences. Lena Luthor cleared of charges. Maxwell Lord linked to Lex's jailbreak. Supergirl's condition still unknown.

I breathed a sigh of relief, they weren't going to condemn Lena. A weight that I didn't know I was carrying for so long lifted slightly from my shoulders. Winn stirred in the corner of my eye and broke me from my thoughts. I glanced over and saw as he slowly woke up. Winn smiled at me the moment he realized I was awake. "Hey. Kara, you're looking better already." He stated as he scooted closer to me.

"Gee thanks." I deadpanned. His smile faltered before I gave him a small laugh. "I'm kidding Winn." He smiled. "Good to know that they didn't knock the sense of humor out of you. Y'know maybe they even made it better." He joked. "Hey, my joke about the toilet paper not crossing the road was funny and you know it." I tried to argue and stifle a laugh as the punchline ran through my head. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "No, no it wasn't. We only laughed because we were all drunk." He mocked lightly. We both laughed and I held my ribs as pain pricked my side, but not as intense as before. The smile dropped from his face. "You okay?" He asked seriously.

I swallowed thickly before I nodded. "Yeah. I guess Hamilton has me on some crazy strong painkillers right now." I presumed and released my breath carefully. "Yeah, I'm actually surprised that you're not all spacey right now." He brought up. "When am I ever spacey?" I asked. "Umm, every time we go to the alien bar and you get that bright blue drink you seem to favor?" He suggested. "Hey, that's the only drink that actually affects me. Besides, you've had a good portion of your life to get used to drinking, me? Never." I pointed out. "Okay, fine, but next time we go to the bar-" Winn's smile fell flat.

The atmosphere shifted so quickly. I immediately knew what he was thinking. "Winn, it's not your fault." I stated. His eyes met mine. "I- I know, but it's still hard. Mon-El was finally starting his own life here. And now? He's just gone. And-and Demos had a family, but he's gone too." He stated with a heavy heart. I held his hand and squeezed it gently. "Winn, it wasn't your fault. This was all Lex's fault. He set this all up. He had been planning this for a while. You can't blame this on yourself. Demos and Mon-El knew the risks and dangers, but still protected us anyway. They are heroes. Don't let their sacrifices be overshadowed by remorse." I stated.

He nodded and quickly wiped away a tear. "Yeah, yeah you're right. But it still hurts." I sighed. "I know, and it will for a while." I stated somberly. The clock ticked away as we held each other's hand. "What happened to Jeremiah after you freed his mind?" I asked. "He collapsed. After the White Martian and Ag'an were detained, Hamilton brought him back to the med bay, he's still there now, but he's fine. We all figured that he'd be safer there. I think that Eliza went back to the DEO to be with him." He stated. "Good. That's good." I stated absentmindedly as I watched a shadow walk by the door. It was dark out of the hallway, meaning it must've been in the early morning hours, but I knew that silhouette anywhere. It never completely passed the window, but skirted the edges nervously before opening the door almost silently.

Winn looked over and stood up slowly. He carefully walked through the door and she didn't even acknowledge him as he went through. She just stood in the doorway, lingering like a ghost. Lena. Arms held close to herself as if she was trying to make herself smaller, hair flat on her head, pale skin, paler than usual; almost sickly. A National City PD jacket was hanging loosely from her form. A few bandages poking out of her left sleeve and by her collarbone. My heart ached to see her this way.

Her eyes shifted from one injury to another, taking in the damage I received. She walked closer to me, but stayed in the shadows by the wall. Her hand was over her mouth, probably holding whatever emotions that were plaguing her mind at the moment. She finally met my eyes and hers widened, like she was shocked to see me awake. Her hand dropped so quickly as she froze on the spot. I could see the turmoil brewing inside her mind. Her bottom lip trembled. Conflict was buried deep in her pained eyes; her wanting to be strong, but I could see the raw need to cry welling up. "Lena." I called her name, relief lacing my voice, and it was all the permission she needed. The light from the tv bounced off the tears streaking down her face like silver rivers. I watched helplessly as she tried to muffle her sobs that escaped. She held onto herself tightly, trying to stop her shaking shoulders, but failing miserably. Minutes passed, but she didn't move from her spot that was the farthest away from me, as if she was afraid to hurt me just by being near me.

She shook her head and took a step back. "I- I shouldn't have-this was a mistake-" Her voice was so small, so fragile, that my heart broke even more. My heart was racing. Lena's eyes zeroed in on the heartrate monitor. Regret and horror were etched on her face. She took a step backwards. "No, Lena, please." I begged as I watched as she took another step back.

She hesitated before swallowing thickly and then took a seat next to me, although she sat the farthest away from me. Lena didn't dare hold my gaze for more than a few seconds at a time. I studied her face. Small bruises littered her face as well as a split lip and a cut above her eyebrow. I could see her split knuckles and I momentarily flashed back to when Lena had me pinned. Her twisted expression ricocheted in my mind, and I flinched slightly. No, that wasn't Lena. That wasn't my Lena. She's here with me now. She's safe. I'm safe. We're safe. Finally.

I studied her face even more, concern and love rushing through my body. "Stop. Stop looking at me like that. Please." She pleaded softly, guilt weighing heavily in her voice. Her eyes met mine again. "Please K- please Supergirl. Stop." An icy stake ran through my heart, she couldn't even say my name. She wouldn't say my name. "Like what?" I finally asked quietly. Her dull green eyes darted away. "Like- like I've got worth." Her voice cracked and she quickly wiped away a rogue tear that ran down her recently dried cheek.

"Lena, look at me." She didn't move. "Lena, please, look at me." Still nothing. "Please." She slowly held my gaze, this time longer. Her face was dark with regret and the harsh light from the tv paired with the gloom of the morning only made it more intense. I knew exactly what she was thinking, how she was thinking I would react. I knew she was expecting me to be angry with her. To let loose the anger in my heart that should be aimed at her, but it wasn't there. It never was. "How can you want me here? After everything I've done to you. After all the pain I caused you." The bags under her eyes spoke volumes to what she's endured. "That wasn't you Lena." I started, but she interrupted me.

"But it was me. I remember every moment planning with Lex. Helping his plan stay on track. All those things I did and said to you. All the Kryptonite I threatened you with. All the Kryptonite I almost killed you with." She rambled. "That wasn't you, Lena. Because I know you, and I know that you would never do that if you had a choice." I pointed out. She shook her head. "No, I did. I chose to do those things."

"You didn't."

Her eyes sharpened. "And how do you know?" She snapped.

"Because I went through the same thing, twice. You were there the second time." I stated. The harshness dulled from her features, although only slightly. "Lord's Red Kryptonite." She concluded.

I nodded. "Yes. I know what it feels like, Lena. I know what you're going through. To have all your thoughts warped in such a sick sense that you think that its you behind the actions you take. I know how intoxicating the power of the Kryptonite feels. And most importantly, I know how devastating it feels once you're woken up from being freed from its grasp. How desperately you want to leave, or go back in time and take back everything you did, or how bad you wish that you weren't you. How angry, almost to the point of repulsion, you are with yourself. How you think that death could only be the answer to end the mental suffering you feel. I know how bad it hurts to see the destruction the Kryptonite left while you were under its effects. I know how painful it is to see the fear behind people's eyes, especially those you love, and to see your relationships disintegrate almost immediately in front of your eyes. But, Lena, I swear to you, I swear to Rao, and everything I care about, that I will never, ever leave you. I love you, and nothing will change that. I want you to know that I don't blame you for anything that happened. And I won't let anything bad happen to you. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again."

She sat frozen next to me. Fresh tears threatened to make their way down her pain-stricken face. "How did you do it, how did you stay in the light, when all I can see is darkness? All I can feel is hate, and disgust?" She sobbed hopelessly. I gasped quietly as I sat up and tried to reach out. Lena eyed me carefully, fear and concern pooled in her eyes as I held my ribs briefly. I finally got closer to her and held her jaw gently in my good hand, making her meet my eyes. I wiped away a tear with my thumb and my hand shifted to the side of her face. "Because I knew I had those I loved by my side. I had you by my side, Lena. I love you. I always have and always will." For the first time in what seemed like forever, a glimmer of life shone in her eyes, a second of my Lena. "We'll work through this. Together. Okay?" Lena closed her eyes and she was gone.

"No." She pulled away and her warmth disappeared immediately. A lump formed in my throat. "No?" I asked. "No." She repeated. The clock in the corner ticked away, louder than before. We sat in silence for a bit. A million questions ran through my mind, my heart raced in my chest.

"Can-can you tell me why?" I asked softly. As she looked back up to me, a tear escaped, and another followed shortly after. "I can't- do this with you, I can't be with you because of the pain I've caused you." Her green eyes shimmered with pain- and regret?

"Lena, I told you, I don't care about that. I love you. I-"

"No, you don't understand. I'm the reason you're here in this hospital. In this bed. I remember helping Lex prepare for the fight. I was the one who told him to set the trap. I recommended that he should use the explosive Kryptonite. I was the one who pinned you down and pummeled you mercilessly." She looked down and squeezed her fists as tight as they could go. The red gashes and purple bruises on her knuckles jumped out from the whiteness around it. "I can recall everything, all my thoughts. All the hatred toward you. How I wanted Lex to kill you. How I wanted to kill you. Those thoughts are circling in my head, and I'm afraid that they'll come out again." She admitted quietly. Pain radiated off her as she finished speaking. I glanced down further and saw her knee bouncing unevenly, an action that Lena never performed. She was always so calm and collected, even when I saw her after Lex took her. I could see her hands shaking too, but not in nervousness, or fear.

No, it was from withdrawal.

Withdrawal of the Silver Kryptonite.

Lex made it fucking addictive. She wants more Silver Kryptonite to sedate the impact the withdrawals have on her, but she knows how it affects her, and by extension, me. I swallowed the anger toward her brother as I could practically feel the self-hatred rolling off Lena in waves. I gently took her hand, trying to reassure her. She jumped at my touch and glanced down to my hand before looking back up to me. Something broke inside her and she placed her other hand laid on top of my cast. More tears ran from her eyes, but I doubted that they were of sadness or fear.

"Everything will be okay Lena. But you need to trust me." I reached up and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. It lingered by her cheek shortly after. She didn't respond right away to me and I was worried she was getting lost in her thoughts. "Okay babe?" I asked. Her eyes shifted and I saw the ghost of a smile. "Okay Kara." The ice was no longer in my heart, instead, a comforting fire settled there.

She leaned into my touch and closed her eyes as her face rested in my hand. She reached up and her hand overlapped mine and she squeezed it. "I love you." Her voice was light- confident; angelic. "I love you too Lena."

We sat in a complacent silence, just enjoying each other's company. Lena slowly pulled herself closer to me. I realized that she was thinner than usual. A pang of guilt and anger ran through me as I only imagined what happened in all that time Lex had Lena. In my deep thought, I didn't realize that Lena was talking to me.

"Kara, Kara? You okay?" She asked carefully. "Wha- yeah. I'm- I'm fine." I dismissed. She raised her eyebrow. "Your heartrate-" She motioned behind me. I glanced over to the machine and I wanted to growl some choice Kryptonian at it. "It was nothing." I dismissed.

I met her eyes and I could see the concern oozing from them. I didn't answer; I didn't trust myself. She understood and dropped the subject.

She snaked her hand inside mine and we mindlessly watched the old cartoons that always were being played in the early morning. I was tired, but I didn't want to sleep. I finally had Lena by my side, safe, and I was not going to miss a second of it. I glanced over to my side and I saw that she had fallen asleep in the few hours that we watched tv. I looked over her face again and a wave of protectiveness washed over me.

Lex will never get the chance again to take away Lena, to want to kill Alex, to threaten J'onn, Eliza, Winn, or anyone else I cared for. I wouldn't let him get the chance to. I'd kill him before he got the opportunity.

I snapped myself out of the rage inducing thoughts and frowned. Where was all that coming from? My heart dropped for a second and my palms started to sweat. I cautiously, so not to wake Lena up, reached over to the call button to get Hamilton in my room. She walked into the room a few seconds later. Her eyes glanced over to Lena momentarily. "Kara, hey, how are you feeling? What do you need?" She asked quietly. I bit my lip. "Can you-uh-get my blood tested?" I whispered. She raised her eyebrow. "What?"

"Can you do it?"

She nodded, although slowly. "Of course, but I don't see why." She stated. "I think I'm infected with Red Kryptonite." Hamilton narrowed her eyes in concern. "Why would you think that?" She asked. Lena shifted and I glanced down nervously. "I keep having these dreams, and thoughts, of rage. Anger. Pure hatred. Like I'm back on the Red K. It's- unnerving." I explained, shame dripping off my last sentence. Her shoulders dropped. "Oh."

"What? All you can say is oh?"

She sighed. "I was hoping it'd be a little longer before I had to talk to you about this."

"About what?"

"PTSD."

*Peeks out from the hole I apparently fell into the last few months* Hey guys, I hope that this wasn't too long of a wait for an update. Writer's block is really a force to be reckoned with. Well, it was really more like writer's cement lol. Anyway, I hope that your new year has started off well and I guess I'll see you all in the next chapter. ~Raya Kor-El