As always, I'm grateful to the commenters, even though there were still a few less than usual. I'm not complaining, I'm happy I'm getting any attention :)
Disclaimer: Me No Own.
Minor Warning: Tipsy-ness and coffee tainting. Oh noez!
Katherine gave a heavy sigh and closed her eyes in annoyance. She didn't even have to look to know who had just turned on the lamp. She didn't even have to think about it. She opened her eyes back up to stare at the ceiling, but was forced to again shut them tightly in irritation when she heard the voice of her roommate.
"Misa-Misa knows something Kat-chan doesn't knoow!" came a teasing voice.
"Then enlighten me, why don't you?" Katherine said through gritted teeth, glaring over at the blond.
Misa pouted her lip out. "Is Kat-chan still mad at Misa?"
Katherine sighed, looking at the back of the couch. "No, I'm not mad…" she said. "Just tired."
"Yay! Misa-Misa thinks someone has a crush on Kat-chan."
Katherine looked back over and cocked an eyebrow. "What're you on about? You mean someone on the team? I'd hope not…"
However, Misa nodded. "Ryuzaki-san was looking at Kat-chan a lot today."
Katherine allowed her eyebrow to lower back down to its regular elevation. If there was one thing Misa was good at, it was spotting things that had to do with "crushes" or "relationships" or "love." That was going to make living with her even more unbearable. Judging by the tone in her voice, she was already planning on playing matchmaker.
"Misa," Katherine said, "Ryuzaki is a social recluse. He probably doesn't even know what a crush is. He'd have to research it to figure it out. I think you probably made the wrong assumption."
"Can't Misa ask Ryuzaki-san?"
"No."
"Well, Misa is going to ask Ryuzaki-san when no one else is listening!"
"He's chained himself to Light. And knowing Ryuzaki, there's a something of a chance he may have swallowed the key to make sure Light wouldn't attempt to find it and make a break for it so he could go be Kira again. That makes things virtually impossible, seeing as someone will always be listening."
"But Light is Misa's boyfriend!" Misa said indignantly, crossing her arms. "Light wouldn't tell anyone if Misa asked him not to."
Katherine examined Misa's expression, and could immediately tell that arguing her would be no use at this point. Her mind was set on it. When Misa was determined to do something, even the Great Wall of China couldn't stop her. So, with a sigh of resignation and a dismissive hand wave, Katherine turned her head back to the ceiling.
"Go ahead," she said. "But just don't go lying and saying I like him or something. That would just be mean. Besides, I'm planning on playing a trick on him."
"But that would be mean, Kat-chan!"
"Well, depending on the trick, maybe it would be mean. But then again, it could also turn out to be quite amusing, don't you think?"
"But if Ryuzaki-san has a crush on Kat-chan, then Misa asking him about it wouldn't do any good if Kat-chan is going to be mean!"
"But he bugs me…"
Now it was Misa's turn to give up. She sighed and looked at Katherine, who was staring intently at the ceiling with a pensive look on her face. If there was one thing she was an expert on, it was pranks. Teachers in their high school used to be afraid to punish her for anything for that reason. Misa wasn't entirely sure why Katherine wanted to play tricks on him and torment him. It was a little mean, especially considering she was sure he had been looking at her all day….
"Okay… Misa won't… but what is Kat-chan planning?"
"Misa," Katherine said, looking over, "you have a photo shoot for a magazine tomorrow, right?"
"Yes, Misa does…"
"Alright. Considering you have to go everywhere with Mattie, we'll have to let him on it and make him swear not to tell. We may need his assistance, anyway, when it comes to buying a few things."
"What is Kat-chan planning to do??"
"Something involving coffee flavored liqueur."
Katherine was nervous throughout much of the next day. She wasn't at all nervous about the prank she was planning. She had it planned out perfectly. Or, at least, she hoped she did. It would be funny for everyone else and quite embarrassing for L if all worked out properly. So that didn't make her apprehensive at all. The only thing she was overly nervous about was the damn wig she had to wear in public since her alias was still Amaya Matsui, now the younger sister of Misa Amane's manager who also happened to be friends with Misa. It really felt like it was going to fall off every time she moved her head. She absolutely hated that.
Not to mention, the real top of her head had an itch that she couldn't get to through the wig and the hairnet with the bald cap underneath the wig to keep her real hair from showing. So she wasn't just nervous. She was extremely irritated.
They left the studio that Misa's photo shoot had taken place for whatever magazine she was going to be in at around noon. As no one else had a car, they had taken Katherine's, and considering she allowed no one to drive her car except her, she was driving and attempting to scratch her head through the black wig she was wearing at the same time.
"Alright," she said suddenly, giving up and finally putting her hand back on the wheel. "Mattie, you're going to help myself and Misa with a plan."
"Wh-what?" Matsuda looked up from the back of the car between Misa and Katherine. "What plan?"
"Well," Katherine said slowly, "myself and Misa cannot buy what we need for this plan due to age issues and the law and so on, so you're going to have to do that for us."
"What's the plan??"
"She still hasn't told Misa," Misa said huffily, glaring at Katherine. "Just that it involves having to buying coffee flavored alcohol."
"Y… you're not going to… isn't that a little much?"
"A little much what?" Misa said, now turning halfway around so she could look between Matsuda and Katherine.
Well, Misa did have to know something since she was going to have to know about the prank itself. However, Katherine was going to have to lie about what it was revenge for. Seeing as the revenge was really for her being forced to live with Misa, it might have hurt Misa's feelings a little.
"Durring your confinement, when the suspicion of me being Kira started to rise, Ryuzaki decided I shouldn't be on the investigation team, and without so much as a warning, I was kicked out. It didn't last very long, but I never got my revenge, so I'm going to now."
"By tricking him into drinking alcohol?"
"Coffee flavored. And possibly peppermint schnapps. Tastes like liquid peppermint, you know, it's pretty cool. I imagine that, considering how antisocial and afraid to show his face to the public eye he is, he won't know much about alcohol, meaning he won't have a particularly high tolerance either, meaning he's going to embarrass the hell out of himself."
"I still think that's a little cruel…"
"Of course you do."
"If I don't agree to buy the–"
"I'm paying for it, you're just doing the purchasing. There'll be extra in it for you if you agree."
"It still seems wrong… but…" He sighed. "Alright…"
"Thank you. We're also going to need to buy a thing of some sort of coffee creamer – liquid coffee creamer, to be more specific. That will be replaced with a certain type of liqueur. They gave us a shopping list anyway; they all apparently think we're servants. Coffee and creamer were two of the things on said list."
"So what does Kat-chan need to buy?" Misa asked.
"I'm thinking just Irish Cream to replace the regular coffee creamer. As far as coffee liqueur is concerned, that's about all. I think that may be all we buy, anyway, anything else would be too much of a risk. Besides, there're Irish Cream flavored coffee creamers out, so that would work perfectly, don't you think? It might be cruel, but we'll all get over that when the humor of the situation kicks in."
This seems so very wrong… Katherine thought to herself, looking at the container of coffee creamer as L opened it. What am I thinking? That son of a bitch is making me stay in the same room as Misa, who calls me Kat-chan…. Katherine shuddered at the very thought of it. This'll be revenge. And if it isn't good enough revenge, I'll switch his cheesecake for fruitcake. There could be no worse revenge than that….
She watched as he poured a copious amount of the "coffee creamer" into a cup over top of the coffee already in it. Since real Irish Cream was actually a blend of cream, coffee, and a certain other ingredient that gave it a particular edge, more of it would definitely be better than less. He dumped a handful of sugar cubes in with the mix and stirred it with his half evaporated lollipop. She faked a cough to cover her laughter as he took a drink and then looked at the cup oddly. L apparently decided to shrug the taste off after he gave a close examination of the coffee creamer's container, as he then continued drinking from the cup.
From the chair she was seated in as the rest of the team worked on the case, she looked from Matsuda to Misa. Matsuda looked extremely apprehensive. Misa didn't even seem to notice anything out of the normal as she attempted to talk Light's ear off between telling him about her day, asking him about his and then not giving him any time to answer, as well as asking him if he missed her. She never seemed to noticed the ignoring tone in his voice when he agreed to everything she said, and if she did, she definitely didn't care.
No one but Matsuda and Katherine seemed to notice anything out of the normal until about an hour and a few more cups of coffee later. That was when the hiccoughing starting. Katherine bit down on the side of her hand. Everyone glanced up, but no one seemed to pay any heed to the sudden distraction. L looked a little confused.
Indeed, L had realized his perception was starting to change a little. One thing that he had always managed not to do when working on an important case was start hiccupping. That in itself was a little odd, not to mention the feeling of lightheadedness. He looked at the coffee creamer again and thought for a moment. He hadn't ordered a particular flavor, but this one was a particular flavor. After a quick glance around to see if anyone was watching his use of the laptop, he minimized his screen and brought up the internet. As Katherine had been out with Misa and Matsuda, he had every suspicion that this could be some sort of revenge. How, he wasn't sure…. So, when he typed in "Irish Cream" on google, then carefully retyped it because his fingers had disobeyed him to spell out "Iiisfgh Creeamm,n" with the keyboard the first time, and then clicked on the link to the Wikipedia page, he immediately understood, even though the print looked more blurred than usual for some reason or another.
Crap… was his first thought as he read the very first sentence of the entry. "Irish Cream is a cream liqueur based on Irish whiskey, coffee, cream, and other ingredients, which can be served on its own or used in mixed drinks or as part of a shot." Should've known she was up to something when she insisted on going with those two…. Wait… does this mean I'm… inebriated…? Oh, damn, I can't work on the Kira case like this…. Not good….
"Ryuzaki?" he heard a voice say.
L looked over at Light, who was looking at the screen of L's laptop in a mixture of confusion and slight amusement. "Eh?"
"Why're you on Wikipedia looking at alcohol?" he asked quietly.
L glared over in Katherine's direction. She was biting the side of her hand in an obvious attempt to suppress a grin as she pretended to read over a list of possible Kira suspects. L picked up the coffee creamer and handed it to Light, who examined it for a moment.
"It's just a flavor."
"I somehow don't think so." He felt himself hiccup again. He bit his thumbnail in agitation and annoyance. "I believe some kind of switch may have been made."
Light took the lid off of the container and looked in, then smelled it. "I think you're right," he said, trying not to laugh. It seemed impossible, but L was actually drunk. Maybe not quite drunk, but at least close to it. Whoever had done this – and he had a suspicion he knew who it was – was a genius. Albeit an evil genius, but definitely a genius. "How many cups of coffee have you had with this?"
"F…" he thought for a moment. He normally didn't have to think about it. This was bad. "Five. No, six… maybe seven. Six and a half, this would be my seventh."
"And how much of this did you put in each cup?"
"It would have been half to three quarters of coffee, then half to a quarter to an eighth of a cup of that to leave room for the sugar cubes." He had just realized his actual accent was starting to leak into his words. He could normally disguise it when speaking another language, but that was proving quite difficult.
"Alright," Light said. "If you can avoid it, don't try to stand up at any point in time."
"Why?"
"Because you'll probably fall back down."
"… Oh."
"And don't drink any more of it."
"B… but it's actually quite good."
"Alright. If you want to try to find Kira while you're intoxicated, go on ahead."
Katherine watched the two and wondered what they were talking about. It was quite obvious that Light had just informed L that the coffee creamer did indeed have an alcohol content. Not to mention, L seemed to be having trouble maintaining his usual sitting position, as one of his legs kept sliding down onto the floor involuntarily. His neck also appeared to be having trouble supporting his head. She almost felt a little bad, but it was so, so worth it.
Matsuda was still overly nervous he was going to get into trouble for this. Especially when Aizawa looked up and noticed that L's normally eccentric behavior was even stranger than it usually was. Then asked Matsuda about it.
"What's with Ryuzaki?" Aizawa said quietly. "First he started hiccupping, now it looks like he can barely keep his head straight."
Matsuda pretended to have just noticed. "I-I don't know. That's really weird."
"He looks kinda buzzed." Aizawa looked at Matsuda suspiciously. "And that coffee creamer was just opened, and he was acting perfectly normal – or… as normal as Ryuzaki can actually be… before he opened it. And I believe it was you that was given the list of things that the hotel room was out of that we needed?"
Matsuda laughed nervously. "Have you ever considered becoming a private investigator, Aizawa? It think you'd probably be good at it and–"
"You did something, didn't you?"
Matsuda blinked a few times, but didn't respond. He went back to the paperwork he had in his hands and pretended to read it. Aizawa looked at Matsuda, then at Misa. Misa didn't seem to notice anything out of the normal was going on, but that was Misa for you…. Then Katherine. She was behaving more eccentrically than usual, too, but in a different way. She kept glancing up at Ryuzaki and Light, who appeared to be talking about whatever was on Ryuzaki's computer screen, and then shifting her eyes back down to her paper and biting the side of her fist. This was obviously her doing, as she looked like she was on the verge of tears from trying so hard not to laugh.
"Dammit." L looked up from the computer screen and at Light. Light, who had never heard L swear, looking at him perplexedly. "How long will it take this to wear off? I can't focus on anything."
"Should just last for today, considering the time…" Light said. "But… you've never had alcohol before, have you?" L shook his head no, which seemed to make him dizzier. He decided quickly that he wasn't going to do that again. "Then you definitely don't have a high tolerance, and you'll probably have a hangover tomorrow."
"H… hangover…"
"That's when you–"
"I know what it is, but that means it'll be another day without working on the Kira case and they'll know!"
"I think at least a few of them already do, Aizawa was just pointing at you and talking to Matsuda. Obviously the person who did this knows." At this, Light noticed L give a glare back at the chair Katherine was seated in. "I don't know if my dad's noticed yet or not. Since Misa was with the most likely suspect, I'm going to assume she knows what's going on, and so does Matsuda, since he looks really nervous about something. Oh, and you're definitely going to sleep tonight."
"Why?"
"Because alcohol can do that to people. And you'll just get worse if you try to stay up all night. Or stand, for that matter. Or move much at all. Or–"
"I get the point…" L grumbled.
He definitely didn't understand why there were people out there who actually liked getting… inebriated. It made absolutely no sense. That Irish Cream concoction was quite delectable, but the side effects were absolutely horrid. He had somewhat brought this upon himself. He had imagined that her vengeance would be quite grave. However, he had never imagined she would go to lengths like this. Not only would this have the potential to embarrass him if he hadn't noticed right away or – as Light had stated – if he did much moving or attempting to stand up from his seat, but it would also impair his judgment, his ability to think, and his vision. He blinked a few times, and then found himself examining his hand… and wondering when that particular arm had grown a second, blurrier, slightly transparent hand.
He could only hope that she didn't have anything else planned. He was lucky enough that everyone had still fallen asleep before him later that evening except for a certain coffee-tainter that he had every intention of confronting. She walked over and sat on his couch after everyone was asleep and looked at him, grinning.
"Have ya learned your lesson?"
He pointed at her. His hand felt heavier than usual, and he looked down to notice that it looked like he had grown a second index finger. That was a little scary. He shook this thought out of his head and went back to the accusations that had been nagging the inside of his head for the past some-odd hours.
"My suspicion of you being Kira has gone up by thirty percent."
Her grin only widened. "How much is it now?"
"Uh…" His hand fell down. "… thirty percent more than it was before. I just said that."
"But how much does that make the total?"
"Um… thirty… six. Yes. Thirty-six."
"Uh-huh." She held up her hand. "How many fingers am I holding up?"
He blinked a few times, obviously trying to bring his vision into focus. Squinting, he spoke uncertainly. "F… four."
"Ah, good, you're not that bad off, then. I've seen my friends get a lot worse."
He blinked a few more times. "I'm sorry."
"For placing me in the same room as Misa?" He nodded shortly. "Have you learned your lesson?"
"Yes. But you're still going to have to stay in the same room as her for now."
She looked at him offhandedly for a moment. "Say 'bloody hell' in English."
"Wh– why?"
"Because I need to see something."
"No. You're trying to determine my nationality."
"Well, you've already done that fairly well. I'm just doing this for my amusement."
"Then what is it?"
"British, obviously. And if not, you have probably lived there most of your live."
"Damn…"
She laughed as she stood up. He looked up at her in confusion. "You need to go to sleep," she said. "You're going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning. Just ask Aizawa for some of his aspirin, that should settle your headache."
"What about the nausea?"
"You'll just have to live through that like everyone else."
He sighed and leaned over onto the arm of the couch closest to where he was sitting. "You're evil."
"I know." She bent down and lifted up his bangs to place a kiss against his forehead. "Now go to sleep," she said, ruffling his hair a little.
He grumbled sardonically in his protest, but closed his eyes anyway. Confident that her revenge would prevent him from doing anything in the future as horrible as putting her in the same room as Misa Amane and telling her she had to live there, she walked off towards the door to hers and Misa's room. She opened it slowly (as Misa had left it unlocked again for her), shut it behind her, and lay down on the couch in the already lit room, looking at her blond friend as she sat in her favorite chair.
"Is Ryuzaki-san mad at Misa-Misa or Kat-chan or Matsuda-san?"
"Nah. Maybe a little at me. He told me that the chance I'm Kira has increased by thirty percent, but he probably won't even remember saying that by morning."
"Kat-chan was still mean to do that since Ryuzaki-san likes her."
"But wasn't it amusing when he tried to stand up a couple hours ago?"
Misa giggled. "And then Ryuzaki-san actually swore, that was funny. Misa thinks Matsuda-san is scared he's going to get into trouble."
"He won't. If I don't, then he won't."
Misa sighed. "Kat-chan is still mean for this."
"Yeah, definitely. But I'm still an evil genius."
Ah, vengeance! And alkie-ma-hol!
Irish Cream is pretty good. Just don't tell anyone I know this information -shh!-
And again to my commenters and fans: Thank you!
And also to my viewers, whether ya like the story or not: Thank you! A thousand views a chapter is freaking awesome. I'm up to over 12 thousand hits now!
