This fanfic was originally published on March 2, 2008.
TEO: Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a fully automated TEO unit. To ensure you get the full benefits of your Hang-Glider Operator and Tank Driver. Please pay close attention to the following instructions.
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Basic Information:
Name: TEO
Date of Manufacture: 13 or 14 years ago (exact date has yet to be determined)
Place of Manufacture: Somewhere near the Northern Air Temple
Nationality/Ethnicity: Earth Kingdom (Northern)
Height: It's not like we can get him to stand up so we can measure him
Weight: Refuses to get out of his wheelchair so we can weigh him
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Your TEO unit will come with the following accessories:
One (1) Pair of Goggles
One (1) Set of Earth Kingdom clothes (pants questionably included)
One (1) Mega roll of bandages
One (1) Wheelchair
One (1) Special Glider (Can be attached to his wheelchair)
One (1) Smokescreen thingy (for writing/drawing in the sky)
One (1) Slink tank
One (1) Reserved Parking/Handicapped sign (Limited edition chibi version only)
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Programming:
Your TEO unit is a somewhat versatile unit (but not by much). With the right coaxing and the occasional assistance he can perform quite a few tasks.
Professional Hang-glider: (Default Program) Your TEO unit is an expert hang-glider despite his disability and can be very entertaining to watch him do loop de loops. Now if only it were a recognized sport in the Special Olympics.
Sky Writer: Need to write extravagant messages or crude pictures in the sky but don't have a lot of money to blow on it multiple times? Your TEO unit will do this for you for free and the only expense that you will pay will be on the special smoke replacements.
Tank Driver: Are you trying to assemble your own private army and need someone to operate a tank or just want to frighten the crap your neighbors?
Temple Explorer: Our possible most annoying TEO feature; this program will make your TEO unit eager to explore the Western Air Temple even when his breaks need to be fixed. But it is at least useful to have when you don't want him to be around at the moment.
WARNING: We are not liable if your TEO unit goes careening off a cliff/ledge and is destroyed/seriously damaged due to having wheelchair break malfunctions.
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Your TEO unit has five (5) settings:
Happy: Normally you would think that someone who is a paraplegic wouldn't be happy as often as the average person; but, however TEO units seem to be naturally happy most of the time.
Excited: When showing off his hang-gliding skills, exploring the Western Air Temple, or aTHE MACHINIST unit has invented something new is when this setting is normally triggered.
Depressed: When all seems hopeless.
Shocked/Angry: When he discovers a THE MACHINIST unit has been making Fire Nation weapons.
Bad Ass: When driving his slink tank
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Relations with other units:
Your TEO unit is a very friendly and easy going unit; and is nearly compatible with all other AtLA units (Fire Nation solders being the exception).
THE MACHINIST: This is paternal unit of your TEO unit and who he looks up to despite his wackiness. That is until he finds out he makes weapons. Nonetheless a THE MACHINIST unit will go out of his way to ensure the wellbeing of your TEO unit and is probably showing your TEO unit the ropes so he can follow in his footsteps.
(AVATAR) AANG: At first AANG units will look down on your TEO unit for gliding without the use of airbending (has no spirit according to him) and will get into a gliding competition. Once your TEO unit either equally matches or outdoes him, an AANG unit will slowly gain your TEO units respect. Note that any AANG units have to get over the fact that they were beaten at their own game before this will happen. Once the two have become friends they will enjoy showing each other some things.
KATARA: Your TEO unit would love to show a KATARA unit how to hang-glide.
HARU: Will explore the Western Air Temple with your TEO unit (with poor breaks!) so he can be conveniently/inconveniently somewhere else when you don't really need a HARU or your TEO unit around or could use him depending on the situation. Note that only the absence of a HARU and not a TEO unit is a real potential inconvenience unless he has a tank or something.
THE DUKE: Similar to HARU interactions; THE DUKE units will come along and explore the Western Air Temple with your TEO unit.
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Cleaning:
Your TEO unit is nearly fully capable of cleaning himself. (Do not be surprised if he requests your assistance if the nearest bathing facilities aren't entirely suitable for him; this can also apply to waste removal.) But if you wish to do it yourself do not machine wash, do not tumble dry, do not hang on the line to dry.
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Energy:
Since doing wheelies and loop de loops uses up a lot of chi, make sure that he is fed thrice daily.
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Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: Isn't it hard enough as it is for my TEO unit to use the bathroom let alone unwrap the bandages around his legs?
A: We take it that you either just got your TEO unit, is being delivered and hasn't arrived yet, or you are thinking about buying one. Because you will find out soon enough.
Q: You said that pants are questionably included so does that mean that TEO units often go around pantless?
A: First of all we don't know; secondly we don't want to know.
Q: I don't have the room to keep a slink tank. Or there is a city ordinance against driving tanks down the street where I live. Can I get a TEO unit without his tank? (i)
A: Yes you can get a TEO unit without a slink tank however despite the fact that the slink tank is worth §20,000 you will only get a §300 discount to make up for the fact that we actually lose some money on the deal from making the slink tank an accessory for our TEO units.
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Troubleshooting:
Problem: Your TEO unit is never around when you need him.
Solution: Solution just make him ditch any nearby HARU and THE DUKE units.
Problem: Your TEO unit's wheelchair was lost/damaged and you need a replacement one.
Solution: We will sell you one for just §999.99 plus shipping and handling.
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With proper care and maintenance, your TEO unit should continue to impress people with his hang-gliding skills and maybe even follow in his father's footsteps.
i If you have ever seen "Wildest Police Chases" there are a few episodes that have that infamous footage of someone after steeling a tank and driving it down a suburban street, you wouldn't be surprised if there was a city that has such an ordinance.
