Actually slept the whole night, with only one small wakeup. Dreams are normal. No demons. I have a feeling that's because of Tarasyl'an Te'las and the magic that seeps from the stones here, more than anything else. Managed to slip away from Dorian without waking him.
I actually did feel better today. Less something. Stretched? Maybe I feel that way to others, too. At least those with which I have these connections. It could explain why Dorian stayed asleep when he was up every second breath last night. I kind of hope they aren't feeling how I felt.
I wonder how much of the interactions I have with my people might be informed by the emotional connection? Could they feel my worry yesterday, and that's why some of them offered to keep me informed? And by the time I'd gotten to Leorah, I wasn't as concerned anymore, because Gethon and Cook had reassured me? Something to think about. I really don't want to emotionally manipulate people. I needed to ask someone about my threads, but the only person I really see that has used tethers close to this is Solas. Even Andrew's similar skill required physical contact.
I snuck out while I had the chance, asking Cook to send Dorian's tray to my room. It was still very early, so I played in her kitchen a little bit. Biscuit making is soothing. I left while the biscuits were cooking, shooed out. Cook said she could handle taking biscuits out of an oven.
I thought a bit on how to stay in my "rules" and still annoy the hell out of the people trying to cage me. Inquisibabe said be seen. Well, I could certainly do that. I hadn't intended on visiting the downstairs camp before now, but since I had nothing to do… I went to Elias, and told him I wanted to take a walk. He grumbled something about way too early. I just agreed with him and told him it wasn't a big deal. I'd just go by myself.
I counted in my head. One, two, three, and he's wide awake. "Where's Dorian?"
"What do you mean? Probably still asleep."
"You managed to slip out past him? Damn." Now I have them doing it. Fewer Maker's breaths and more damn its. "How'd you manage that in the same bed?"
"Got up?"
"He's going to be upset if he wakes up and you're gone." He pulled on a tunic, snagged his blades, and grabbed my wrist. "Let's go." Dorian was still asleep when we got back to my room. Elias loudly called out, "Hey, Dorian, I thought you had the night shift."
"Shift?" I asked as Dorian groaned and opened one eye, focusing on Elias.
"I did. She's a grown woman," he mumbled.
"What do you mean shift?"
Elias shushed me, calling me Da'len.
I yanked my arm free of him. "Don't do that. I am not a child."
"Dove, he was just worried."
"Yeah, well I was being nice and letting him know that I wanted to go somewhere, and he repays me by grinding my wrist bones, dragging me about, calling me a child, and yelling at my friend. You'll excuse my irritation, I'm sure."
"I'm sorry Chrissy, but when you showed up unattended, after"
Dorian interrupted. "I'd promised that I wouldn't leave your side. He has cause to be unhappy with me."
"I see cause to be unhappy with him, as well."
Elias touched my shoulder. "I'm sorry I grabbed at you and called you a child, Chrissy. I wasn't thinking."
"I forgive you, easily and readily, Elias. But why do you speak of shifts?"
"We're tasked with your safety. Dorian's presence prevents you having guards at your door. There have been letters, among other things."
"Cullen's man dumped someone over a wall recently."
"Yes. There have been other incidents, too."
"I don't remember any others."
"A pitcher of water delivered to your desk, without you asking. We confiscated it, and Adan said it was infused with poison. An arrow sent toward the wrong elf. A set of your clothing left at the laundry was slashed with a knife. Leorah replaced it before you noticed."
"Someone got shot with an arrow?"
"That would be the one you focus on. No, the archer missed. Feel better, because you have vastly fewer threats than the Inquisitor. He doesn't realize he is under guard, either, but at least he can fight. You." He shook his head. "You can't even hold a butter knife."
"That doesn't make me feel better. I've been running around Skyhold scaring the pants off everyone without even meaning to, haven't I. And I can so hold a butter knife."
"We're just worried."
"Scaring the pants off? That's an interesting phrase." Trust Dorian to catch that one.
"You're changing the subject." I didn't want to go down to the lower camp anymore, though.
"Yes. I'm laying here in bed, and Elias has barely glanced at my chest once. I'm crushed."
"I looked and admired, Dorian. I'm just not obvious. You already know you're pretty. Don't be conceited."
"Not in my bed, Dorian. Go back to your own for that."
"My bed is COLD, my dove. And tell him I've every right to be conceited. Have you looked at me?"
"Of course, but we're too much alike."
"Too much alike?"
"We both like men. I had hoped you'd join me in watching the soldiers today. I find myself bored and in need of entertainment. Staycations suck."
"Staycations?" Oops.
"When you're supposed to go on vacation but have to stay at home."
"I see."
There was knock at the door. Elias and Dorian both tensed up, and Elias answered. It was just Dorian's breakfast. Sheesh. Men. Cook had put an extra biscuit on the tray. For me. At least that's what I told them. "That one's for me." Wasn't a lie. I had a friend teach me how to make biscuits a few years back, and they're amazing. I claimed that biscuit because I hadn't gotten one and I made them. So there.
Anyway, I was not near so interested in bucking authority after being informed. I flat out asked Elias if he thought it might be easier to convince me to do things if I was fully informed. It had never occurred to them to just TELL me what was going on. I was "busy" with other things. "Let me give you a very recent example, Elias. When I woke you this morning, it was with the intention of meeting the elves in the lower camp. Now that I know what you've been keeping from me, I am planning to stay within the walls." His eyes were shocked at the first statement, and thoughtful at the second.
"See? The apparently headstrong female can be reasoned with. IF you bother to try." I was speaking to both of them on that point. And then I excused myself. I had a date with a drummer. I got to set up Drummer's tack for the first time. It was different than a horse's tack. The girth straps narrower, not one designed to snug up, but two designed to go above and below the stomach. Interesting. The rest of it was basically similar, with some unfamiliar shaping. And it turns out Drummer LOVES getting his horns rubbed. I didn't realize horns had feeling in them. I thought they were dead bone, but apparently not. Or maybe it's seasonal, or they're growing or something.
I meandered down to watch the men for a while, but the clanging metal wasn't very exciting today. I much prefer grappling practice. I went back to my area, spending a few moments chatting with Varric on the way. I double-checked the edges of the sphere around my desk, because I had to. Then I noticed the back of my chair stuck out of the sphere. I could move the chair in and out freely by holding the portion outside the bubble. Oh ho! The material of my tunic also went through the sphere. It kept out only biologics. Or only my particular biologics, perhaps.
Well, I'm a bitch sometimes. So I traipsed my happy butt over to the laundry, and asked for a rug beater. I promised I wasn't going to do any work with it at all. And I wasn't going to. Then I went to Cook and asked to borrow her peel (the tool to move bread around in the back of the oven). Using the two tools, I transferred all my paperwork and my abacus out of the sphere. For shits and giggles, I cleared everything else off my desk, too. I stashed it all in my sitting area.
I returned the tools, and then opened my SELF to look at the sphere. It didn't cause me to hurt. I had no intention of hurting myself to do this. I didn't want to mess with the sphere, either, but I was betting that Someone was monitoring it. The sphere was a rainbow-like formation, sort of like a soap bubble in sunlight. It was the most delicate thing I'd SEEN with my SELF. Beautiful, really. I was going to have to ask about it after he got here. For now, I just wanted to play.
I took my SELF and swirled a finger on the bubble. At my TOUCH, it started to subtly glow. Ah. There was something to tell him if I messed with it. I wrote "You missed a step." in the glowy dust, on the sphere. Then I went to my room, shut down my SELF, and waited next to the piles of paperwork I'd promised not to read. (And I didn't, mind you.) He showed up in the main area not even two minutes after I'd sat down. I'm glad I left the door slightly open, because the sound of elven cursing is quite gratifying.
He showed up at my door rather quickly, and just pushed it open, leaning against the jam. "What did I miss?"
"Mammals can use tools."
"You shouldn't have been able to get close enough."
"I know about the tools of the commoner. The rug beater, and the bread peel."
"What, precisely, is a bread peel?"
"A long handled flat piece of wood used to remove bread from the back of the oven."
"I see. You've had your fun, Da'asha. You made a promise."
"And I've not broken it. I have not read even one word of all that paperwork."
"You are bored."
"Yup."
"So you bothered me."
"No. I merely played with something left in my space. Bothering you was a bonus. You're the reason I'm bored. By the way, that sphere is beautiful. Does it stop all biologics or just me?"
"It should stop all living things."
"Spirits, too?"
He stood upright. "Probably. If they believe they are living beings."
"Were you busy?"
"No. I was waiting for you to get bored. I didn't expect to find that the mouse had already ran off with the cheese, however."
"Want to help me put all this back?"
"Just like that? You aren't going to protest that you shouldn't be restricted from your own desk?"
"I'm more interested in how to create that soap bubble, to protect my desk when I'm not around. Sometimes sensitive information passes through. I'd make it large enough to encompass the ENTIRE chair, though, so I don't give away clues."
"It is not a soap bubble." But he filed the tidbit about the chair away. You could see it.
"It looks like a soap bubble."
"I am willing to teach you how to create that barrier, but the process is neither quick nor simple. You would be required to learn the beginning steps first, to my satisfaction. That means mastering boring steps that aren't pretty. Doing things in the proper order. I'll expect you to be able to explain each intermediate step. And we wouldn't start until I was completely sure you were undamaged."
"Fair enough. I would not be available daily, or potentially more than weekly, because I'll be taking other lessons from other people."
"You are planning to piecemeal your magic training?" His surprise was palpable. Did he think I was offering an apprentice on a silver platter? I don't think so.
"Yes. You can't teach me what Dorian could, nor even what Adan or Andrew could, with the same ability. I intend not only to utilize different minds, but to ask the exact same question of different individuals to compare the answers. Not all of those individuals will be mages. If everyone takes the tack you have, I will acquire the basics as I go. I will not apprentice myself to any one person. I refuse to be part of that kind of power imbalance. I'd rather blunder along on my own."
"Power imbalance?"
"I can't do what I have to do if I'm perceived as subordinate to any one person. My opinions, expressions, and decisions would be perceived as coming from that individual, and dilute my efficiency greatly. Consulting, however, I can do. Do you object?"
"Once again, you surprise me. Your grasp of power dynamics is unusual in one as young as you are."
"You make the same mistake The Iron Bull did. Interesting, actually, how similarly your minds work."
"The Iron Bull?"
"Nevermind. I should probably go get lunch before the girls worry."
"What about your paperwork?"
"I can't put it back without either your help or removing the sphere. Since I ache still, just a touch, I won't be messing with it further."
"I will remove the spell so we can return the paperwork, but then I'll be putting it back. Including around the entire chair." He was smiling, just a hint, as he said it. He also actually helped. I then went over to the dining hall, saying farewell.
Andrew and Solas. Now to finagle Dorian, Adan, Renee, and Helisma. And Dagna, of course. And just to round it all off, Cole. If Inquisibabe wants me to learn magic, I'm going to do it my way. I'll have to talk to Harritt about a staff and how and why they work, as well.
Coming out of the kitchen exit after lunch, I felt Cole. "Hello."
"You always feel me."
"You always say that."
"You confuse him."
"I intend to. I'm safer that way."
"Yes."
"To me being safer or to what I was about to ask?"
"I'll help you."
"Thanks."
"Why Helisma?"
"Because I'm betting she's one of the smartest people I'll find in Thedas."
"Her song is silent."
"For now. That will be her choice. Eventually, I hope, at least."
"You think she's yours!"
"Unless she says otherwise."
"I don't know. She's hard to see, and I can't hear her."
"Then I will treat her as mine."
"You know."
"Yes. But why do they resonate with the shards?"
"He makes the shards real. Pulling and twisting, sighting one severed path with two severed paths. In then out then in."
"That makes more sense than I expected."
"You listen. You're welcome." I hugged him.
The rest of the day was boring, really. I read in the sun. Did the dinner thing with Ethelathe. Checked on a few people, just to say hello. Played with the littles. Songtime. Zathras came down for that, actually. Then I tucked in my kids and said goodnight.
