Daryl

I've been spending a lot of time in the woods hunting over the last week. I know I'm acting like a coward but I can't figure out what I'm thinking, much less what I'm feeling. It isn't fair to dump all of that on Beth and Merle. Beth has too much to deal with as it is. I know I got to get my act together but I just don't know what I'm supposed to do.

"Hey, Rick. Ya wanna go huntin'?" I waited till the room cleared some before I called across the room to Rick. The sun is barely up but the whole group has eaten and getting started on their tasks for the day. Merle and Beth both keep glancing at me, giving me looks like I've gone crazy or something.

"What?" I asked them both, giving them a look that told them I'm not in a mood for anything today. "Me'n Rick used ta hunt together all the damn time."

I'm not sure why I feel like I'm supposed to explain myself…or why I feel guilty as hell for wanting Rick to come hunting with me.

Rick watched me for a couple minutes before walking over, "When?"

I didn't look at my brother or Beth, "Now."


Beth

I've been all over the place, emotionally, for a while, and today apparently isn't the exception. I'm starting to feel really badly about the way my emotions are affecting everyone. Like Merle, he just sticks real close to my side, or watching my every move, it's like he thinks I'm going to shatter or something. I'm not. I'm stronger then everyone thinks I am. I'm not even sure what is going on with Daryl right now. I just know I barely ever see him and I'm missing him like crazy. He's spending every minute possible in the woods. I don't think he's realized that I know that's where he's going.

It kind of broke my heart to see Daryl look at me and his brother the way he just did. It's like he thinks we're out to get him. He may be standing just a few feet away from us but really his heart is a million miles away. Daryl told Rick he wanted to go hunting right this minute and all of a sudden I felt like crying. I stood up, feeling Merle stand up too. I shook my head at Merle and walked out of the room. I need time to think.


Merle

I know they both got a lot on their minds. Neither one of them is handling the idea of pregnancy very well. It amuses the shit out of me, mostly. Now, I'm starting to get a bit pissed off. The way little brother's been acting has Angel all sorts of messed up. She just left here like her world is falling apart around her and Daryl's barely able to look at either one of us. I figure I'm going to give both of them some time apart before I go and talk to each of them and get their heads working how they need to. I get up and make my way to the library. I figure I'll have some time to read for a bit.


Daryl

"Ya gonna tell me what all this is about?" Rick questioned. I was wondering how long until he started asking questions. I guess that's part of why I brought him out here.

"Beth's pregnant,"

"An' you're runnin' away?"

"Somethin' like that. I dunno, man. I's freakin' out, I can't deny that."

Rick stopped walking and I stopped next to him. "We might as well sit for a spell,"

We both sat down, me leaning against a tree trunk and him just sitting there with his legs crossed. "What's on your mind, Daryl?" He asked.

"Shit, lotsa things. I'm in some kind o' weird relationship wit' Beth an' she's with my brotha at the same time. We don't have sex together or nothin', but she has sex with him an' with me. Now she's knocked up an' I couldn't tell ya if the kid is his or mine. I dunno if I even care whose kid it is."

Rick just kept looking at me, waiting for me to keep on talking. I took an arrow and started digging around in the dirt next to me while I gathered what I'm thinking. "I don't care if it's mine or Merle's. It's blood, one way or another. Imma love it anyhow. But what if somethin' happens ta Beth? Shit like what happened with Lori could happen all over again- Sorry, man- an' it'll be me ta blame. Or what if I'm jus' like my ole man was? Beatin' the livin daylights outta my kid?"

"Daryl," Rick said. "You're nothing like your old man. I've been a cop for a while now. You are nothing like that. The fact that you're scared tells me you're better than that. An' ya know, being scared that something could happen to Beth is smart. I wish I had pulled my head out of my ass and thought about it when Lori was pregnant. I figured Hershel and Carol could worry enough for me, too. Women have been birthing babies for a long time, Daryl."

Rick stood up. "Let's talk and walk. I don't think we'll be getting much hunting done today."

I nodded and walked next to Rick. "Ya think she's scared?"

"Hell yes, I know she's scared. There isn't a women in the world who wasn't scared for one reason or another about having a baby. We had modern medicine on our side and it still wasn't enough to save every single baby or mother."

I felt bile rising up. "That ain't much help,"

"I ain't here to make you feel better. I'm here to make you see reality, like you've done for me in the past. What I'm saying here is that no matter how scared you are, she's a lot more afraid and for many more reasons. What you need to do is figure out if you're going to be there for her and the baby and your brother, or if you're going to turn tail and run."

Rick gave me a lot to think on. We walked back towards the prison and we talked about random shit. I feel like an ass since all we caught was a skinny rabbit that won't feed more than one or two people. The pickings around here are slim now, from me and Merle hunting and the walkers scaring off anything decent.


Beth

I kept myself from crying, barely. I'm so sick of crying all the time. I get the hormones, but oh my, it's just too much. I went to my old room and sat on the ratty, beat up mattress. I hate this room, it reminds me of all the pain I was in when Daryl was mad at me, and then Daryl and Merle were both mad at me. It's just full of bad memories that I can't escape no matter how much I try.

After a bit I figure I may as well get up and quite feeling sorry for myself. I'm going to go and make myself busy until Daryl and Rick are back. Then, Daryl's going to get an earful.

I went and found Carol to get some things to do while I wait. I helped her sort and patch up everyone's clothing, then I took Judith to the showers and bathed her, then I got her down for a nap, putting Carl in charge of keeping an eye on her. Then I forced Mika and Lizzie to shower- I've never seen such dirty kids. Lizzie was a pain in my rear to get her to shower. But since she got sick she's been angry and doesn't listen very well. Then I heard a bit of a commotion in the common room. I told the girls and Carl to NICELY play a game, until Judy's nap is over then they can and do what they want, then I went to see what it was all about.

Rick and Daryl were back. They didn't bring home much. I leaned against the wall and waited for Daryl to acknowledge me.

He came and stood in front of me. "C'mon," He motioned towards the doors leading back outside. I followed him, wondering how this was going to go. It can't get any worse between us, right?


Daryl

I don't know for sure when the last time was that me and Beth were alone. I been avoiding her for a while now. Soon as we were outside and we stopped walking. Beth turned and stared at me. I opened my mouth like I was going to talk but then I stood there looking like some kind of moron.

"You're an ass, Daryl Dixon. You've been mean and angry and gone. I thought we were in this together, not just you and me, but you, me and Merle. I finally get it. You don't want this baby and you sure don't want me. This is your out. Leave while the getting is good. I won't hold it against you."

Shit. I'm more speechless then I was to begin with. She turned on her heels and started to walk away. I almost let her. "Beth," She didn't stop. I took a few big steps and caught up to her. I put my hand on her shoulder. A silent plea for her to stop walking. To stop walking away from me.

She didn't turn around, instead she stood there.

"I been all kinds o' stupid, Beth. I know it. I been scared as hell. I ain't running away from ya or any o' this," I finally started putting it into words. I hope like hell she's listening. "I ain't good at talkin' or emotions or none o' that shit. Ya know I ain't. I want ya, an' I want this baby, even if it ain't mine, it's Merle's. That ain't what matters ta me. Don't'cha know that by now, girl?"

She turned around and looked at me, her face pale and looking like her world was ending.

"How would I know, Daryl? I feel like I don't know you anymore. You're not here. You've been running away every chance ya get. You're so far away from me an' damn it, I'm scared out of my mind."

"'m scared too," I admitted.

"Then talk ta me,"

"Ya gonna quit cussin' now?" I tried to smirk and get a smile out of her.

"Ya going to actually talk to me?"

"Imma try. Ya wanna sit or somethin'?"


It's been a long time since I've updated this story. Please bear with me while I get back in the groove of things, of this story. The endgame is in sight with this story; I'm going to bust my butt to finish it so I can get onto finishing my other stories.

Beyondmythought-s and I have both been living very busy lives, and haven't had much of a chance to talk but I feel like she was with me the entire time I worked on this. I could feel her encouraging me and I truly appreciate it. I'm incredibly grateful for every single person that has continued to read this story, has followed and favorited it and reviewed it. It's amazing. Thank you for sticking with me, guys.