Part Twenty Eight
"Let's go inside.." she continued flatly, making her way past Regina without another word.
Regina couldn't breathe and found herself frozen at her spot, unable to process the blonde's sudden change of heart. What happened in the past few hours? What changed between them? She desperately searched her memories for some kind of explanation, but only found Emma's sparkling eyes which hadn't showed any kind of hesitation. There was no way that she had been misreading the look in her eyes, the love that shone so clearly in her emerald orbs.
But why was she acting like none of it even happened? As if her memories had been erased, replaced with something horrible she couldn't even think about. Not after the overwhelming night they shared together.
She flinched when Emma moved passed her, entering the mansion without her consent. Inhaling her scent that instantly caused a wave of heat throughout her body, flooding her daze for a short moment, only to come crushing down at her even harder than before.
She inhaled a sharp breath to steady herself and clenched her hands into fists, determined to find out what occurred in her absence. She turned on her heels and missed the eyes that had been trained on her, hidden behind the huge fence that surrounded her garden.
Her breath hitched when she found the blonde in her hallway, leaning against the wall, her eyes focused at the floor. Her heart skipping a beat when the door slammed shut behind her. She stared at Emma's posture for a moment, observing the tension in her shoulders, noticing her trembling hands.
"Emma.. Talk to me.." she whispered shakily, taking a step towards the blonde. "What's wrong?"
The blonde's eyes shot up when Regina's voice pierced through the heavy silence around them, looking haunted, pressing herself closer against the wall. Regina frowned in confusion and took another step, causing the blonde's eyes to widen even more, her lips slightly parted. She almost seemed afraid? And what crushed her even more was that she seemed to be the one who provoked the blonde's agony.
Emma looked shocked by her own movement, tears welling in her eyes but not falling as she stared at the brunette. Her face revealing her internal battle, willing to stand behind her actions.
"Emma?" Regina tried again, her voice no more than a soft whisper.
She stopped in her tracks when a choked sound escaped the blonde's throat, her eyes begging her not to come any closer. But why was she here when she obviously couldn't stand to be in her presence? Her heart stopped when realization slowly dawned on her, despite the fact that every fiber of her being screamed at her for drawing the wrong conclusion.
She cleared her throat and blinked back the tears that suddenly threatened to fall, forcing her wall back up to protect herself. She moved away from the blonde and straightened her spine, willing her voice to cooperate.
"I'll be in the kitchen when you're ready for whatever it is you wanted to talk about.." Regina stated softly.
She stared at Emma a moment more, catching the brief flash in her eyes, before she made her way towards the kitchen. She couldn't help but feel a slight bit of hope with the unsettlement that passed the blonde's features, making it perfectly clear that she still managed to affected her.
Emma released the breath she had been holding and buried her face in her trembling hands. I can't do this! It's killing me! Her heart was hammering inside her chest and she could feel how her resolution started to slip. She had tried to ignore the constant spark she felt in the brunette's presence, unable to form a coherent word with the anxiety in Regina's eyes.
She wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around her, to tell her how much she meant to her. To explain her inexcusable behavior, to make sure that the brunette knew that she didn't mean to treat her this way.
She didn't even doubt that Regina was feeling the same constricting ache inside her chest, silently cursing herself for causing their mutual pain. But they needed to endure, realizing that the feeling would multiply when she didn't proceed.
She ignored the clench in her stomach and slowly made her way towards the kitchen as well, finding the brunette pacing around. She didn't meet her eyes when she entered the room, conflicted where to move. Regina seemed to mirror her thoughts as her eyes wandered around, searching for a place to settle down.
Regina sighed in relief when the blonde rested back against the counter, dropping her gaze towards the floor. She walked across the room, all her previous fears increasing with each step she took. It took her a long moment to register that Emma's eyes followed her with every movement. Their gazes locking intensely before Emma finally cleared her throat.
"This.." the blonde said softly, a wave of nausea welling up at the thought that she was about to ruin everything, taking in a sharp breath before she continued. "This isn't going to work.."
Regina nearly collapsed with the wave of pain that flooded through her heart, clenching her jaw to stop any sounds from escaping past her lips. No.. Please, Emma, don't do this! Why are you doing this? You don't want this! She wrapped her trembling hands together and tried to keep herself in control, searching the blonde's eyes again.
"What are you trying to do?" she asked incredulously, surprised that she was able to voice her thoughts. "Push me away?"
Emma was quiet, a silent answer to the question. She fought her instinct to go to Regina, whose eyes were filling with tears. The brunette closed her eyes after a long moment and shook her head in an effort to bring her back to the situation at hand. A single tear streaming down her face, missing the look of guilt that touched down briefly on Emma's features.
"You don't mean that!" Regina choked out and this time the blonde wasn't quick enough in wiping the expression of her face.
She watched Emma's mask slipping into place a second later, her eyes flashing with a newfound determination.
"Yes, I do.." Emma knew she was being harsh, she could see it in the flinch of the brunette.
Regina's mouth dropped open slightly as the realization of what the blonde had just been saying began to sink in. She witnessed the battle going on behind puzzled green eyes.
"No you don't!" she stated firmly. "I can see it in your eyes!"
Emma sighed deeply and shook her head in denial, surprised with the sudden steadiness in her tone. "You're wrong, Regina.."
The brunette raised her hands in frustration and took a step towards the blonde, pointing out the obvious. "Then why are you crying?"
"I.." Emma cut herself off with a choked gasp before she turned away, unable to hold the brunette's gaze. Much to her own surprise she whispered "I don't want to hurt you.."
Regina furrowed her brows and tilted her head slightly in confusion.
"So why are you?!" she choked out, staring at the blonde who offered her no explanation, nothing but a vulnerable expression.
Those words hung heavy in the air between them, thickening it even more that they both struggled to breathe. Emma flicked her eyes to the brunette and sucked in a deep breath as they took in each other's eyes, filled with a desperation neither woman had ever felt before.
"I can't change the way I feel, Regina.." she whispered, unconsciously moving closer. Despite her desperate attempt not to, she couldn't keep the regret from her voice.
"I don't believe you!" the brunette nearly screamed, not even trying to stop the tears from streaming down her face.
"I'm sorry.." Emma whispered, looking as if all her energy had seeped from her in the past few minutes. She bit her lip, holding Regina's gaze despite the voice in the back of her head screaming at her to look away.
"I am so sorry…" she whispered again. More than you will ever know.
She found herself reaching out for Regina's hand, but the brunette raised her hands to keep her at distance.
"I-I don't understand.." Regina whimpered.
Me neither.. Emma couldn't stop her tears from falling down with the sight of the brunette's obvious pain, suddenly way too tired to run any longer. Realization dawning on her that she'd been running in the wrong direction. She couldn't stop herself as she moved closer, her hand slipping up to caress the brunette's cheek. Regina's hands instantly brushed up her arms, grabbing them tightly, pulling her closer.
"Emma.." Regina sighed, turning her head slightly so that the blonde's fingers brushed her lips.
Emma tried to release herself from the brunette's hold, only finding her grip tightening around her arms. Regina searched her eyes, holding her firmly in place, as Emma felt how something inside her gave up the fight. Despite the almost painful, desperate hold of Regina, her lips were gentle as she kissed the blonde.
Note: Thank you so much for your support! I'll continue asap.
