Silence – Chapter 28
By MyNameIsCAL
-Max's POV-
The holidays were gone, but the cold remained and since California wasn't prone to snow, it had been raining for a whole week straight with no signs of letting up. The weather was taking its toll on the flock too. We were restless, already stuck here mostly because the FBI was still afraid we'd get snatched up off the street or something.
Fang kept to himself mostly. He was struggling with the fact that Angel still didn't believe that he had forgiven her. And it was hard for the others to treat him the same as before. Although Fang admitted it was silly for him to be so upset one night when we were up having a conversation. He wrote how he had spent all that time not talking, that it shouldn't have even made a difference now.
Jeb may not have killed us, but he sure as hell got what he wanted, Fang had written.
I told him not to think about it that way, but Fang only shook his head, ending the discussion by putting the paper and pen away.
The day that we had been at the beach seemed so long ago. I felt like things were slipping away again, gradually.
We sat watching TV, minus Fang who was still in bed. Iggy looked deep in thought, Nudge snuggled in his arms. She had her head against his chest, eyes on the TV, looking tired. I was used to her narrating whatever we were watching, but even her chatter seemed to die down with everyone's moods.
"Is Fang okay, Max?" Gazzy suddenly asked, turning to face me. "I…I barely see him anymore."
"He's just…."
Gazzy cut me off. "I'm not stupid, Max. He still feels he doesn't fit in."
I closed my mouth, unsure of how to respond.
"And it's mostly because of Angel," Gazzy pressed on, his attention turning to Angel. "Why can't you just accept that he forgives you? Things would be easier. He wouldn't be shutting us out if it weren't for you and your denial."
Angel ignored him, eyes fixated on the TV like no one was even talking to her.
"Angel, will you listen for once?" Gazzy jumped up off the couch. "At least you can still fly! Who needs mind reading? I mean, you can still talk, and Fang can't. Shouldn't we be trying to help him? We're family, and isn't that what family's for? Remember all those nights we fought through, and how you told me that Max would come for us, or that Fang would find a way, that they cared about us too much to let us go. What happened to that, Ange?"
"Things change." Angel stared up at him. "He doesn't want our help, Gazzy! He wants to be left alone."
"No." Gazzy shook his head. "You just can't handle not being able to tell how everybody feels without getting inside their heads. It's hard, I get it. We get it. But he needs to know that we don't think anything less of him! We can't treat him like he's some five year old that needs his hand held! I mean, we don't treat Iggy like that because he's blind. Sure, he needs help, and sometimes we can frustrate him, but he knows we care, and that's what counts, right, Ig?"
Iggy agreed, his eyes seeming to focus just for a moment. "He's right, Angel."
"You're the one in denial!" Angel suddenly shot back at Gazzy. "And you need just as much help as he does! You've changed."
Gazzy backed away. "So have you."
And then he ran down the hall.
"I'll go after him," I muttered, resisting the urge to yell at Angel. Iggy let out a sigh, allowing Nudge to settle back against him.
Gazzy wasn't in his room like I had expected him to be. Instead, he was in my room, clutching onto Fang and sobbing uncontrollably. Fang was grasping onto Gazzy, trying to hold him from sliding to the ground. His expression was questioning me. What happened?
"Fang, I don't want you to hate us!" Gazzy cried. "I don't want you to hate Angel."
"He doesn't hate Angel," I said, resting my hand against his back in an effort to comfort him.
Fang nodded, but Gazzy only started to sob harder. "I don't want to lose any of you."
Angel had just shattered that hope Gazzy was hanging onto. She had added doubt to the worry he already had. I knew she wasn't thinking straight either, but part of me knew that she was angry at us, and angry at herself.
"We're not going anywhere without a fight," I promised him.
Gazzy broke away from Fang. He wasn't a little kid anymore, but I still felt like we were how we were those many years ago, when he and Angel would wake up from nightmares, and I'd have to tell them it wasn't real. The only problem was I couldn't use that to comfort him now.
And then suddenly, Gazzy gave me a hug.
"Thank you," he managed to say, and then before I could say anything, he was gone and I heard the door to his room shut.
Fang and I stared at each other for a while, feeling dazed. It took him a while, but he reached for his notepad, writing slowly, his hand a little unsteady.
Let's go for a walk.
I thought I had read Fang's words wrong, but he took my hand and led me down the hall, taking a roundabout way to the back door so we wouldn't pass the others.
It was pouring down rain, but I still continued to walk with him until we reached the edge of the property. He pulled me into a hug, chin resting on the top of my head. It took me a minute to realize he was crying, shaking against me. I put my arms around him and he squeezed me closer, his weight against me.
I realized he had brought me out here because he didn't want the flock to see him breakdown like this, and I understood why. He was trying to be strong, in order to win his acceptance back, or Angel's acceptance anyway. Whatever emotions he had been hiding before were finally spilling out, and there was nothing I could say that would make him feel better.
The rain had soaked through our clothes long ago, mixing with our tears. It was freezing out here too, only making Fang's shaking worse as he shuddered against me.
"I know it's hard, Fang," I said, hoping that I'd be able to clam him. "Angel's stubborn. And she's coping too. We all are. But we'll make it through this. Just…we need time, and a little strength to endure everything. Whatever happens, we get through it together though. Don't you ever forget that."
I felt Fang nod and then he broke away from me, his hand sliding into mine, the other wiping his tears and the rain. We stared off into the distance for a while, in awe of the crackling lightning, maybe a little too numb from the swelling emotions to head back inside.
It could have been years later, but when we did head back inside, Fang slipped past the others once more, leaving me in the kitchen with Teddy who must have arrived when we were outside.
"Is he okay?" Teddy asked.
I pulled a towel out of the washroom and began to try myself off. "I don't know."
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Teddy."
He looked like he wanted to say more, but I left him, hearing Fang turn the shower on. I set out fresh clothes for him on the bed and then went back to the kitchen, finding Teddy making coffee. I sat, ignoring the puddle I was now creating around the chair.
"Max…" Teddy sat down across from me, but then trailed off, like he wasn't sure of what he was saying now.
"What, Teddy?"
"I…I just wish I could help you."
My patience was wearing thin with Teddy. "You've already been helping us, Teddy."
He nodded, getting up and returning to the coffee maker to pour some for us. Teddy set a mug down in front of me and we drank in silence.
Sorry for not updating for so long. I'll be working on the next chapter though, and it'll be up real soon.
Thanks for reading!
